Shit Teh German Said #5

About making his weekly Instagram post before we'd even got out of the bed on a Sunday morning.
tG: I don't want to think about it later.  Don't act weird, please.
tM: Let me remind you, you are constantly checking instagram.
tG: Too late, right? (about me acting weird)


tM: There is no financial incentive if you buy this truck.  Are you ok with that?
tG: Think about the resale value.






After trying on approximately 1000 different helmets, Teh German Johnny Cash-es me.
tM: Ugh, it burns.
tG: And it burns, burns, burnnnssss....
We hum the rest of Ring of Fire together to the enjoyment of the cashier.


On not sharing the pretzel bag.
tG: Is it so weird?  I like having my own stash.
tM: No, it's just funny to me.
tG: I don't like sharing the bag.
tM: That's definitely better.


Again with the pretzel bag.  Teh German reaches into the pretzel bag.
tM: I thought you didn't like sharing the bag?
tG: It's not weird.
tM: I never said that.
tG: I'm just refilling my stash.
He places his handful of pretzels on the lid of the hummus container, aka his "plate".


tG: Hold on tree!  Hold on to your needles!


About his crazy Santa hat vs my elf Santa hat.
tM: Wanna trade?
tG: No, I don't want funny ears.



The night Teh German proposed:
tM: Do you feel different?
tG: No.  Did you put something in my food?


tG: Who put all the alcohol in my drinks last night?
tM: You did.  I watched you
tG: I know.. but I'm just saying, WHO put all the alcohol in my drinks last night?!



tM: If you put that cookie in the microwave it will be softer.
Teh German glares at me while he goes through the process: Drops hard cookie on counter.  Microwaves cookie.  Takes it out of microwave.  Breaks off a piece to eat.  As he brings it to his mouth, a piece crumbles off.  As he gets to his mouth, a large chunk falls off, leaving only the small chunk between his fingers.
tG: Yep.  Now it's SUPER soft.




tM: Oo, you're going to join me in my office?  You can tell me about your problems.

Phil walks in.
tG: 1.

tM: Aww, that's mean.

Meri walks in.
tG: 2.

Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5