Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Shit Teh German Said #20

Meri releases a noxious fart.
Teh Megan (tM): Meri, you are not a good lady.
Teh German (tG): Look at her role model.

While watching Ninja Warriors, contestant is a "clothing company designer".
tG: I guess they don't design shirts.

While watching Wheel of Fortune.
tM: something unimportant that Teh German didn't hear.
tG: Are you talking about Fortune Wheel?
(sometimes #LanguageBarriers are the best)

Talking about hair.
tG: I don't know much about highlights, but that's OK because I am one.

tG: When you're already hot, jalapenos aren't that hot.

At bedtime...
tM: By the way, the loft lights are on.
tG: Cheaper to leave those lights on than preheat the oven...

At a Stingrays game, All the Single Ladies starts playing.
tM to tG: All the single ladies, all the single ladies, if you like then be sure to put a ring on it... since he liked it, he made sure to put a ring on it!

tG: His name should be Ugly

Shit Teh German Said Edition 123456, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Weekend Review {4/16}

I'd start this by saying that it was kinda like Charleston "spring" outside this weekend, but you've already heard that spill from every other person on social media, so I'm going to skip that part and get on the the weekend, shall we?  Seriously though, I've experienced it snowing 3 days before June in Montana.  When did we start getting so off-put by uncommon weather?


Work and school on Friday.  Our new not-screened in porch arrived and when the delivery guys called me I was extremely confused and thankfully, Teh German was home to accept the delivery since I had no idea it was even coming.  Whatevs. 

I took a peek at the cameras to see if the delivery truck was still there/if Teh German was excitedly setting it up and returned this gem of Meri solar charging.  /swoon

Solar charging.

Nothing really planned for the evening except laziness.  And then... Teh PT Fam asked if we wanted to go to Mexican for dinner and we said ok.  After we got home from Mexican, we watched Vikings until 11:30 and then Teh German finally decided it was bedtime.  Boo.


Saturday we had committed to going to a friend-of-a-friend's cornhole tournament.  Notice I said going, because I was there for the jello shots and Teh German was actually there for the cornhole.  #NotSorry  I did bring my backpack in case I wanted to attempt homework, but I figured it probably wouldn't happen. 

I made a new Snapchat friend.  She took this fantastic photo of me which I had to share.  I'm not sure I could be more sexy.

It later turned to this:

Photographic evidence by Teh Dental Hygienist.

I was attempting to sleep, but with the yelling and my general inability to sleep sitting up/in an uncomfortable camping chair, it didn't really happen.  I mostly just dozed on and off. 

Other things that happened besides sitting outside and drinking?
I assisted with some food work.
I held a baby.  Still no uterus explosion. 

When it was well past doggy-dinnertime, we headed home.  We spent the evening watching Vikings until bedtime.


We had brunch plans on Sunday with Teh Dental Hygienist and Teh AF Maintainer (ret.) at Grace and Grit.  #SolidLifeChoice by Megan.  #LikeAYelpBoss

Before brunch, a reminder went off on my phone at 0800 to sign up for the Route 66 Half Marathon, which I promptly took care of... via my phone, which means I'm an idiot and missed out on a $10 promo code.  Oh well.  Then since I wasn't falling back asleep, I dragged? drug? (meh, who cares) my ass out of the bed and went on a run.  I ran to the traffic circle and it was fucking miserable.  1. Let's start with the obvious, I spent the day before drinking.  Great prepwork, Megan.  2. It was supposed to storm later in the day so it was 1000% humidity, approximately.  2.5 I chose poorly and wore long sleeves with a running skirt.  #MeganFail  3. It was stupid windy.  As in 3 of 5 miles were me fighting a fucking headwind from hell and I wanted to DDDIIIIEEEEEE.

Let's just say, I definitely earned brunch.
I was so hangry that I didn't even bother to take pictures of the grit flight that we got or of the entrees that Teh German and I split (because we both wanted 2 different things).  It was delicious, I promise, and it's one of those places I'd recommend to people who visit the area.  But make a reservation for Sunday brunch, that's just a thing.

They did have these super cute little containers for small quantities of liquid.
This was creamer in a tiny milk.

When we got home, I noticed that this flower that I planted in 2016 is going to bloom (vs just have leaves) for the first time ever.  Woot.

After we were dropped off, Teh German and I took care of some business and then we headed back out to take care of some errands.  Teh German needed to get his car wash subscription sticker that he had paid for and not gotten (I still don't understand how/why this happened) and he needed passport photos of both of us for his green card things.  I'm 100% confident of my new approach to ID photos: LOOK LIKE A CRIMINAL.  This is convenient as I'm running out of acceptable goofy faces to make.  The lady said we shouldn't smile and well, I have a hard time not smiling for a picture.  It's smile or RBF or...... this, apparently:

I will say, in this photo, Papa G might be right about Teh German's "affiliations".

After taking care of these things, we headed back home to work on homework/green card paperwork.  Since we had such a big lunch, we weren't really hungry, but we decided to snack for dinner and when Teh German made himself this plate, I had to laugh and appreciate his ingenuity to use a separated bowl for his different snacks.

After a few episodes of Vikings, the weekend was officially over and it was bedtime... Boo hiss.


Monday was too busy to fit in a post, so I'm going to tell you about that too.

Monday was school, of course, and then work.  I was crazy productive at work with work and personal things.  I also called my old dentist and asked if they would pleasepleasepleasssee accept my insurance so I could come back because the new dentist was garbage and I didn't want to ever go there again and they want me to get a tooth removed.  The receptionist recognized my crazy and said if I wanted to come in and get it looked at I could come.  I told her I'd walk down right now (their office is down the street from our office).

The dentists actually agreed that the broken tooth is fine and it doesn't need to be removed unless it's actually bothering me.  They offered to grind it down some so it doesn't collect as much food and then in a week if it's still annoying me I could come in and they would remove it in house.  No need to go to an oral surgeon.

PS.  I'm not trying to be cheap about this.  In fact, I was totally expecting them to say that it does need to be removed.  If that was the case, I was going to ask who they would suggest to do it.  All of these problems were solved.  AND THIS is why I'm glad that they do actually accept our new insurance and Teh German and I will NOT be going back to the dentist near House and we'll be going to the one near my office.

After my impromptu dentist adventure, I headed back to work to finish things up until around 5:15 when I left work and headed downtown for a Yelp event at The Gin Joint.

The event was a private Yelp event, which was cool and they had munchie foods for us and free beverages.  Much joy was had.  I learned that they make their own ice and different drinks get different ice, which was interesting to me.  They also had a special piece of ice on the bar just for our event (bottom pic) which was interesting since it was completely clear (their ice is made in a warehouse and brought in).  The free giveaway was fidget spinner (pictured on top of the ice) and we were all amused by them, but I didn't bring one home.

After the event was over and I didn't win anything, I headed home to study for a Bio test.  Teh German was working on green card things and we didn't get to watch any Vikings, which made me sad.  By 10, it was bedtime.


A good weekend.  I'm too old to day drink and then try to run 5 miles the next morning, that was the lesson of the weekend. 

It's the FINAL WEEK OF THE SPRING 2018 SEMESTER!!!!  All caps is not enough to accurately convey my excitement.  I currently have A's in all my classes (even calculus, but he said those grades were inflated, so we'll see where I end up).  If I end up with all A's, I seriously do not know what I will do.  There might actually be like when I made PO2 levels of screaming and jumping up and down.  I was a consistent B/C student at NCSU.  Mostly because I was young and dumb and didn't actually apply myself (due to being young and dumb).  If I can pull off 15 credit hours of all A's while adulting and working full time?  YOU GUYS..... IDK.  Seriously.  I don't know. 

This week includes a Bio test (that is actually on Thurs, not today like I planned for), oral exam in German (yeah, I know, it definitely needs a different name), our final exam in our Bio lab class, plenty of Calc homework, a computer science program, and on Sunday is the 98 Rock Fest concert, which is poor timing on my part since my photoshop and computer science projects are due on Monday.  This really means that I'm going to have to buckle down this week and there won't be lots of Vikings time for me this week, boohiss.

Exams start (for me) the 26th.  I'm hoping to get a good enough grade in my Bio class that I won't have to take the final exam (a stipulation if you have an average of 95%+), my Bio lab exam will have already taken place, and my Photoshop course doesn't have a final exam.  This means that I will only have exams for Computer Science, Calculus, and German.  Not taking the Bio exam would be convenient since it's the same day of my Calc exam and I'd like to use that morning to study.

I did find out this morning that I am definitely signed up for my College of Charleston summer class.  This is a relief because if I wasn't able to get into that class, it would have royally fucked my schedule up and set back my graduation by a year.  So yeah, a lot riding on that bad boy.  I'm grateful the instructor allowed me to be added to the class even though it was full.

Fuck/YAY!  I still have to make reservations in San Fransisco, attain dive/trip insurance (/wrist), and function as an adult between now and then.  I also have to figure out how to pack my dive gear and all my shit for all the honeymoon adventures.  Wish me luck/send chocolate.  :D

Friday, April 13, 2018

Five on Friday #146

EINS - Random Shit

-We're getting a new range since ours had a HUGE dent in it.  I'm glad and sad.  Glad because I know what I paid for that bad boy and it best be perfect.  Sad because I would have accepted a %% off and now I have to be available for another delivery.  /facepalm

-Shit that makes me stabby:
  -Reporting of Mark Zuckerberg to make him sound like a school kid.  Words like "homework" and "crash course" being used in headlines.

  -Classmates who won't STFU while I'm trying to learn things.  This also applies to loud chewers, snorers, eaters who are crinkling wrappers, those who drink and then slam down their beverage container, AND THE WORST OFFENDERS: Anyone with the fucking sniffles who refuses to acknowledge that blowing their nose will not impair them in anyway.
  -We're back to the problem is paying for transcript services again... and this time, I'm irritated that I'm being charge $3.25 as an "convenience fee" for a service that I have to use.  That is NOT a convenience fee, it's not even convenient.  "The charge for an official transcript is $12.00 with additional fee convenience fee for using this online ordering service."

-Sitting outside while I'm at work helps me be more productive... i.e. finally accomplishing writing this post. 

-I gave up the homemade laundry soap life.  After reading about how laundry soap doesn't work in laundry the same way that laundry detergent does AND how the soap doesn't dissolve (at all or well) in modern washing machines.  Soap is good for laundry that is hand scrubbed.  Not tossed around in water.  Additionally, I messed up the last 2 batches I made... And finally, my clean laundry in my closet doesn't smell clean and I cannot have that.  CANNOT.  It smells like it was worn and hung back up, over and over and over.  Nopeeeeee. 

-This weekend includes day drinking with Teh PT Wife while Teh German and Teh PT Husband play cornhole.  Sunday is brunch at a new place.  YAY for light homework and no Monday tests.. although I probably should be working on my Photoshop final project and studying for my Bio test.  #YOLO

-My backpack fell out of my chair at work and dented my laptop.  I'm not really pleased about it.  YAY for that Best Buy insurance policy.....  Boo for having to wait until the end of the semester to take care of it.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Sam's Club things
-Laser hair removal Groupons (yes, plural)
-Sale shit at the bookstore
-$10 for an official transcript to be sent to College of Charleston so I can take a summer class there.
-Air BnB in Sydney.. so we won't have to sleep on the street with the homeless people on our honeymoon.
-Alcatraz Tour tickets for while we're in San Francisco.
-New Mizuno shoes from Woot.  We'll see if I like them.
-Yurtle's GoGo Juice
-Power bill
-More bully sticks for The Beasts
-Friday BBQ lunch.
-Laundry detergent

DREI - From My Phone Shit

The Citadel Bookstore was having a clearance sale and I ended up paying $6 for these $50 headphones.

How does a hurricane see?
With its eye.

NO jk, I love using the new range and I think it needs a name.

So much love that I used the oven TWO nights in a row.

Teh German brought these nasties into my house.
I cannot.  I cannot even.

Best unofficial bridge run shirt eva.

I was doing laundry and Pax insisted on holding my paw.
So, I left my foot there for him, despite having to move around to finish putting away the laundry.

It's official.  This is a $500 dog bed.

When your coworkers just get you.
PS.  It's a peppermint mocha stick

VIER - From the Internet Shit

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. Riding Bagheera today
  2. Running
  3. Understanding calculus
  4. Coworkers that give me peppermint mocha sticks
  5. Teh German going to the doctor and staying home from work since he's sick.
  6. Semi-making progress with signing up for my summer class.
  7. Insurance policies
  8. Honeymoon planning
  9. BBQ

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Some things about me..

I totally stole this from Brianne and Michael a mabillionty years ago... 


Something I will...

Refuse to do for the rest of my life: poop in an open area.

Always do forever: roll lint balls

Something I think is...

Certifiably disgusting: parasitic worms, earwax, popping cysts/zits.

Absolutely amazing: removing built up earwax and popping cysts/zits.

A compliment I’ve been given that’s made me...

Feel on top of the world: "You're hilarious and you always make me laugh.  Thank you for always making me smile."

Pretty upset: "You're lowering morale."

A name I...

Hate: "Girl"

Love: "Beautiful"

Something people say about me that I...

Know is entirely false: "She is a total bitch."

Think is on point: "She is a total bitch."

A taste I...

Can’t stand: Licorice

Can’t get enough of: Chocolate or Lemon

A song I always...

turn off immediately: asd

belt out the lyrics to: Something Just Like This by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers

Animal I...

fear: anacondas (don't want none if you got buns, hon).

need in your life right this instant: cute puppies.  Always.

Something I...

will never eat: anything described as "rotten"

would eat for every meal if I were given the chance: bbq chimichanga covered in queso with ALLLL the cilantro.

To enhance my looks I...

would love to, but would probably never resort to: liposuction.

just stick to: eating.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Weekend Review {4/10}


School on Friday, then work.  Between school and work, I took some video for my PS project, went by the bookstore to check out the clearance sale, went back to the Bridge Expo to exchange the flippy floppies that I bought in the wrong size, realized I lost the SD card with the video on it, used my backup SD card to record more videos from the Expo, and then went to work.  While I was at work, Teh Neighbor Besties decided we should go to the Flowertown Concert and I said ok.  When I got home, Teh German and I had a disagreement about plans and we almost didn't go to the concert.  The disagreement was about dropping off Yurtle for her pre-Bridge Run downtown slumber party that she takes annually.  Teh German claimed ignorance to this, but had no rebuttal when I told him that it was on the schedule (our weekly meal plan also lists out significant events of the week (i.e. the ones that would affect our eating plans)).  Nonetheless, we ended up going to the concert, Teh German agreed to drop me off on Saturday morning in Mt. Pleasant for the race, Teh Dental Hygienist agreed to drive with me downtown to bring me back home, and everything worked out as I had planned, with a side of drama.

This Granny was BREAKING IT DOWN and the entire crowd was impressed.

Even if he infuriates me sometimes, I still really like him.
Maybe it's the free poop bags clipped to his belt loop?

IDK who the band was, but they were pretty good.

Teh PT Fam had plans at 8:30, so we all ended up leaving at the same time.  After dropping off Yurtle downtown, we hitched a ride with Teh Dental Hygienist/AF Maintainer (ret.) and came home.  Teh German said he was tired, so we went to bed "early" on Friday night.  This didn't bother me since I knew I had an early wake up on Saturday.


We were out the door by 0605 to head to Mount Pleasant.  Teh German was nice and even made coffee for us (which is relevant later).  Drop off was easy enough, even though I had already walked over a mile before the race.  #BridgeRunProblems

I waited in my corral for about 45 minutes for the race to start.  I had time to stretch and selfie and text with Teh Kiawah Running Friend and Teh Running Bestie.  I peed before the race, but once the race started, I had to pee again.  Ugggghhh..  Despite the pee pit stop and all the stops on the Bridge for pictures, I completed the race in 1 hour 9 minutes.  I think without any stops, I would have been able to finish the race in under and hour. 

Let me back up and say that Teh German, in his moderate intoxication on Friday night, told everyone that I hadn't been training.  Apparently, all the runs I did in the month of March had been completely forgotten.  I tried to tell myself it was the beer talking, but I was pretty defensive about it, because WTF?   Mr. Beer Curls Only is not allowed to judge my exercise or lack there of, especially when I did actually train.  Bitch please.

The rain held off until about noon, thankfully.  It was also a blistering 68°F, which is the warmest it's ever been since I've been doing the Bridge Run. 

Pre-race selfie

the race

The best blueberry muffin I ever eat is after a race,
Krispy Kreme makes dealing with 30k+ people worth it.
ANNNNDDD a medal?  #AlltheWin

This was something I definitely had to show Teh German.

After the race, I went back to the race course with my camera and tripod to take some video for my Photoshop class.  We're doing cinemagraphs this week, which is totally cool.  I also finally exchanged The Skinny Dip sweatshirt I received from the Yelp Elite Christmas party, finally.  It's been riding around in my car since I got it and I tried to exchange it once before, but they didn't have a size I could wear.

After videos and the exchange, I headed home.  Teh German was working on his green card paperwork and that automatically makes him grouchy and he ended up pissing me off and I stormed off to shower and take a nap.  My tolerance for his attitude was a low this weekend.

After my nap, I got up to get ready and at 4, I finally went downstairs to tell Teh German that we were leaving at 4:45 to go to dinner before the hockey game.  Thankfully, he didn't argue or protest or give me attitude, he finished checking his social media and went to shower and get ready.  We were headed to Community Pizza House with Teh PT Family for dinner before the final Stingrays game of the season. 

There was a huge party at the hostess stand when we arrived who couldn't decide if they wanted to all sit together or be split up and I finally got fed up with their debates and spoke with a manager and said there were only 5 of us and we were completely ok with all sitting at the same table.  Rather than deal with them, he checked and asked if we could pull up a chair on the end and we said FINE and we got sat.  We were ordering drinks when the group finally got sat.  I was more than annoyed with them and didn't even care.  Also, I hadn't eaten enough after the run so I was struggling to control my hanger. 

We ordered food and I had to send back my chicken meatballs because they weren't hot.  Like, not even warm after sitting in front of me for 5 minutes.  Even when they came back out, they weren't hot in the middle and I was starving so I risked food poisoning and ate what I could.

After dinner, we headed to the coliseum.  Through a friend of a friend, we got some free tickets to the hockey game.  Heeeellllll yeahhhhh.  I really wanted to get Teh PT Kid back to the game, so I asked if they had a few more tickets on Friday and we were in luck!

The couple in front of us were highly entertained by our antics and one of them commented how he wasn't sure if he should pay attention to the game or to us.  Stringrays won the game and set some records.  After the game, we made a stop by Cookout for milkshakes, and then we headed home.  When we got home, we watched an episode of Vikings and then it was bedtime.


Sunday was a homework day.  I was sitting at the dining room table by 1000 and stumbled away in a brain fog around 4pm.  The point at which the things I know I knew were no longer known was when I knew it was time to stop. 

Puppy snuggles helped me feel less stupid.

For dinner, Teh German suggested we make pizzas with the naan bread I had picked up.  I considered this to be a genius idea.

Gold star for Teh German's good dinner idea.

After dinner, we watched a few episodes of Vikings.  I should have done more studying for my Calc test, but my brain was mush so I knew it would be pointless.  Eventually, it was bedtime and I was sad the weekend was over.


Mondays have really been kicking my ass this year.  I'm not really sure why.  I had arranged for the new range to be delivered on Monday from 2-4 but the delivery guys called me at 10:30 asking if I'd be there in 30 minutes for delivery.  Uhhh, no.  I explained the soonest I'd be able to be home was 12:30 and they were fine with that.  During German, I got another call from an 843 number and I almost didn't answer but I was afraid it was the delivery guys again, so I walked out to answer it.  It was the new cleaning ladies.  I arranged for them to come over around 1 to do a walk-through of the house to do another estimate.

Iz so prettaayyy.

After the delivery guys left, the cleaning ladies finished up their walk through and I was home alone to do work things.  I'm not getting attached to this range, since we'll be recieving a replacement in a few weeks.  This one has a HUGE dent in the top and they didn't bother to offer me a % off on it, so I accepted them sending me another one.  If they were to call and offer me a % off, then I'd just keep this one since it's a visual defect.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to use the range yesterday since homework took over my life for the entire evening.  On the evening that I should have been completely focused on school, I had 2 quick visitors, I posted and sold the old range on Facebook Marketplace within a matter of 2.5 hours (#WIN), and Teh German was trying to set up a new Apple TV that he bought... for the garage TV... and he kept needing assistance.  My brain finally fried out around 9:30 and I gave up.  At which point, I wrote "Fuck this.  Fuck everything." on my paper (this is relevant later).

We spent some time on social media and then it was time for bed.


Overall a fun, not overly stressful weekend.  Monday was rough, but new range is finally here and I want to cook all the things!  I also have to figure out where to put all the cookie sheets that were in the warming drawer of the old range.  I didn't realize there was such a demand for an electric range.  Had I known, I definitely would have asked for more than $150, but I wanted it out of the house and I have gotten some awesome wins on Facebook Marketplace, so I'm considering this my paying it forward or back, whatever.  My goal was to get the range out of our house and it's gone.

In a fortunate turn of events, the #BarometerHeadache that I've been fighting since Sunday got the best of me this morning and I skipped my bio class.  I was dreading my Calc test (as evidenced by some really, really weird dreams I had this morning) and it was postponed one day for various reasons.  You're not hearing me complain about this.  Remember when I said I wrote "Fuck this. Fuck everything." on my paper?  Yeah, I accidentally turned that in this morning with an assignment.  Unfortunate since that was my study paper for this exam, but it's not the worst thing ever, so it is what it is.

I actually got to come to the office today, which is always a good day since I like my life consistent. 

This week's activities are over already.  I'm skipping out on an extra credit possibility for my Photoshop class tonight since I need to real life... and use my new range!

2 more weeks of Spring 2018 semester.  Please send positive thoughts and sweets.  Like literal sweets.  I'm willing to get extra fat to make it through the end of this semester without having a meltdown or having to go to jail.

PS.  This happened earlier today.  Don't be like me, Gentle Readers.

Friday, April 6, 2018

Five on Friday #145

EINS - Random Shit

-Thank you for the overwhelming feedback from Wednesday's post.  Who has the best Gentle Readers ever?  THIS GIRL.

-You remember that one time I said was going to read through my Feedly?  Yeah, that didn't happen and now my oldest unread posts are over 25 days old and well.. It's just not looking like a bright future.

-Teh German said that he was worried about being constantly sunburned when we go to Australia and I suggested going to lay in the tanning bed to get a base tan (so we don't burn, which I do EVERY year without fail, sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not, don't judge me) and he kinda seemed receptive, which was a surprise to me.  We'll see if it comes back up.  Also, there was a discussion recently about the transparency of my legs.  I'm so white I'm almost transparent.  I wish I was kidding.  Teh German's fears are well-founded.

-Google Keep is working for me better than Google Calendar tasks, mostly since tasks were not mobile friendly.  Keep is mobile friendly and it's not exactly what I wanted, but I'm making it work.  What this really means is that I'm back to keeping track of my life electronically again and I've completely stopped using my paper planner.  The only time this has been an issue is when I needed to see what order to read the Lord John Grey books in but Goodreads came to my rescue and all is well.  It will become an issue again when I need to make a list of runs I've completed/want to do, but we'll get there.

-I still haven't made lodging reservations for our honeymoon and I'm starting to feel the pressure.  What this really means is that my weekend to-do list is getting longer and longer.....

-Our Calc teacher lectured our class about making comments like "I hate everything about this" or "this is hard and I don't like it", even using a high-pitched (see: female pitched) mocking tone of voice (that I probably also would have used for me) and how it's bringing down the morale of the class and also how our class was getting too relaxed (see: Cadets aren't giving proper (aka expected) respect).  There are others in the class that make comments, but in a class that is 95% male, a high-pitched mocking voice is 1 of 3 individuals in the class and the other 2 females never say anything.  Even one of the other vet students commented on how the part of the chiding about making comments was obviously aimed at me (the mocking tone of voice probably made it more obvious, but the sustained eye contact with me for a prolonged period of time during his sermon wasn't missed either). 

Here's my thing.  If he has a problem with me, dressing me down in front of the entire class is unnecessary.  Period.  That applies for anyone with an issue with me.  Additionally, my comments were made after he had given us wrong information multiple times, which even the guy who has a 99.9 average was frustrated about.  I am saying things other people are thinking and I know that if I don't make my comments, I brood on them and then I can't focus.  This probably doesn't help others, but I don't think it goes so far as to lower morale.  And also, we're working on some difficult stuff in class and most everyone is struggling, so I'M NOT WRONG.  Nonetheless, he can suck my ladydick.

-The Cadets didn't smell when they came back from spring break.  I assume this is because they all went home and did their laundry.  It's been almost a month and the stank is back.  Ugh.

-It's a homework weekend because I've been putting things off and off and off because I've got end-of-the-semester-itis and I'm over all this fucking shit.  I think these feelings are amplified because I NEED a vacation and I'm going to be slammed during July with 2 classes every day and then I get a 2.5 week break of just work and then the fall semester starts.  I get even more exhausted just thinking about it.

-40 days until Honeymoon Adventures begin and it feels like so far and not so far from now.  It's complicated.

-I rarely watch YouTube videos, but I won't lie.  I spent 20 minutes at work this week watching "oddly satisfying" videos and YouTube and I felt high afterwards.  That feeling of satisfaction makes me feel high.  It's lovely.

-My new range will be delivered on Monday from 2-4 and I'm obnoxiously pumped about it.

This is a thing in my house.... 
When husband goes in the bathroom and you look for his phone to see how long he will take because:
1 he's in "your" bathroom
2 the house doesn't have more than 1 bathroom (duh)
3 he's notorious for taking a stupid long amount of time on the toilet.

-So this happened last night at Buffalo Wild Wings:
I notice Server approaching table with our food and start putting my hair up. She sets down fries and the other items aren't on the table before I start eating fries
Server: niiicee you were serious about that.
Me: yeah.. I'm always serious about food.
Server: yeah but you put your hair up and everything. That was awesome.
I closed mouth smile with a mouth full of fries.

-As a #TreatYoSelf for surviving my "freshman" year of college (again), I'm going to stop shaving my legs.
...because I'm getting laser hair removal done on those bitches.

So here's the real reason why.  I HATE shaving.  I always have.  I hate shaving so much that I would rather wear pants 100% of the time because my legs are shameful.  I also wear pants to bed almost 100% of the time because I hate the feel of my stubbly legs rubbing on themselves.  So, I'm done wiht that.  I bought a Groupon for legs and armpits and belly button (because I hate the 9 hairs that pop up there).  #TreatYoSelf

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Bagheera taxes
-Sam's Club grocery things
-Friday night shenanigans
   ~Callie's Hot Little Biscuit
-High Wire Distillery Tour
-La Norteca for dinner
-Adult party things
-At Home splurges
-Eastside Bagels (coworker's husband just opened up his own restaurant, so I had to support!)
-Walmart things (an endless supply of bandaids for my BJB that is going to force me to go back to the dermatologist and I have a feeling that a non-permanent solution is going to require me to be unable to function in real life for at least a week, FML).
-Bridge Run Expo.  I think I lost my mind.
   ~New Oofos flippy floppies
   ~2 shirts from 73Threads
   ~1 Charleston tshirt
-Peppermint alcohol things

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Eastside Bagels got me addicted.

Shenanigans with my Monkey-Doodle

Easter Bread from Teh PT Husband's Mom is LEGIT.

Annual Bridge Run Expo selfie.

New flippy floppies!!!
Which really means I have to purge now since I have 4 pairs and they will not all fit on the shoe rack.
Or maybe I just buy another shoe rack?
Don't judge me.

Top shirts: Freeeeee
Bottom shirts: Paid for.  First 2 are from 73Threads and the CHS one, idk.

Teh Running Bestie and I were accidentally twinning again on Thursday.
I randomly sent her a selfie in the middle of the day asking if she was wearing the same shirt....
We do NOT plan this, Gentle Readers!  We are just this awesome.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

Things about allergies.

Read some damn books.  Reading makes you smarter a better person.

Saw this post about more women running for Congress and it made me wish there was a reaction to accurately convey, "Hell fucking YYYAAASSS".

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. Countdowns getting smaller.
  2. Twinning
  3. Oddly satisfying YouTube videos
  4. Minimal effort work week
  5. Free hockey tickets and awesome friends who hook us up
  6. Pinwheels for a Photoshop project.  They make me extremely happy and I'm not sure why.
  7. Being on time to class all week.
  8. Awesome test grades.
  9. Having all As and Bs. #LikeAFuckingBoss
  10. Shirts.  All the shirts.  #IMightHaveAProblem

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

On Babies and Procreating.

I have a struggle.  It's about babies.  It's about not wanting them or wanting them.  It's about people's judgement and comments.

This is not a new struggle for me.
But what had happened was...

When I was sitting with the tax dude while he was doing our taxes, he said something about having 2 kids and I said, "I have 2 fur kids, it's a shame I can't get a tax credit for them."  He said, "So no human kids... yet."

Queue some Megan rage.

Just because my body contains the tools to reproduce doesn't mean I am obligated to use them.

That's the thing about humans, we can make choices about our bodies (ya know, for the most part, barring any government regulation, which is a can of worms we're not getting into right now).

Obviously, this is not the first time I've heard this comment, nor will it be the last.  "Yet," it really, really irks me... because at the end of the day, my reproductive business is no one else's business.  That's just how that works.

And then.. a few days later, a coworker brought her month-old infant to a work party so we could all meet him.  He was adorable.  I wanted to hold him, NBD, but I wasn't going to push everyone out of the way to be like, MY TURN BITCHES.  And after the other interested parties held him, he was passed on to me.. and never taken away.  He was cute and he wasn't crying and he was like a little lump.

And then what had happened was:
1- I waffled between being tired of holding him and wanting to put him in his carrier and just wanting to hold this cute, not crying infant because he was adorable and I hadn't gotten to meet him before and it's a baby, there's nothing shameful in holding a baby.
2- I felt (mysteriously) obligated to hold him.  Like, if I put him down my coworkers would think me heartless.  But I knew that by continuing to hold him, my coworkers were all thinking, "I know who is next! Tehehe."
3- I would move the baby around and everyone would hold their breath or comment that I was going to drop him.  Cue Megan rage.  Several times I had to say to someone who made a comment, "Is he crying?  Is he still alive?  Yes, and yes.. So he's fine and I'm fine and we're fine.  Thanks."

And then, Mom and Dad were ready to leave and I handed the baby back and guess what.. my uterus didn't explode from wanting.  I continued on about my day like I do.  Holding that infant didn't change my mind about my reproductive choices.  In fact, it kind of cemented my feelings even more.

There's even photographic evidence!

Maybe my reproductive choices are the problem.  And by THE problem, I mean MY problem.  Because I don't really want kids, but I'd be willing to use my tools maybe.  Teh German and I have discussed it several times and right now, we've both agreed that we do not want kids at this time.  I think what really gave Teh German pause was when I asked him why he wanted kids.  Because society/his family said so?  I'm not interested in that reasoning.... and here's why...

I told Teh German that if he really wanted to have kids, we would do it.  But it would be after I finished school.  Because I MATTER.  My priorities matter and, let's just be real for a minute, my body and time will be the most effected for the immediate time.  I also had to explain to him that all the fun stuff we do now (which he really enjoys) would definitely taper off.  Not because we're not awesome anymore, but because our priorities will have to be reevaluated to meet the demands of a tiny human.  The reality is, I'm not going to be the only one "sacrificing" because of a spawn.

Coincidentally, while I was typing this up waiting on my math class to start, a cadet was asking our professor about his day as "Mr. Mom."  I happily interjected and said, "Most people just call that, 'being a dad.""

These attitudes needs to change.
Because someone has a uterus doesn't mean it is their SINGULAR PURPOSE to create offspring and take care of those offspring.  Oddly enough, it takes two individuals to (naturally) make an offspring (in the case of humans at least) and "the nuclear family" is actually a pretty new concept.  People used to live in villages and everyone took care of everyone else, to include other's children.  Example: infants being fed from whatever female could nurse the baby.  It didn't have to be the mother.  Milkmaids were real.  They are not just from a song.

Additionally, the working woman has been around for forever.  Except that,  It's maybe amusing to imagine the caveman always being away hunting and the woman staying home to tend the farm and children.. but it wasn't like the man and woman lived all alone.

Today, that same type of help isn't as prevalent.  This very much influences my decision to procreate.  Would I mind having a child if I know that I could go to work (which I do because I enjoy working) and someone I trust would be around to take care of the baby?  Maybe not as much.  Except that I still don't know WHY I should have a kid.  There is no reason that I, Megan LastName, NEED to procreate.

I don't need to pass on my genes for the human race to survive.
I don't feel an obligation to see what Teh German and I could create in a tiny human.
I mean, yeah, the science is cool, but the whole, still having to take care of it for forever and it getting to a stage where it talks back and acts like me doesn't surpass the thrill of "ooo, what could we make?"  It never will for me.  And also, I've seen our Snapchat face-swaps.  We should not procreate.

So this is me saying, fuck it.  Fuck whoever tries to make me feel less for not wanting children.  Especially fuck anyone who expects me to procreate because I have a uterus.  Fuck anyone who tries to tell me that I'm missing out/kids are worth it/it will fulfill me/whatever other possible reason/blah blah blah.  

In case you were waiting on it (because I sure was for a long time), this is your permission to reflect on your desires and make your own decisions.

This is your permission to be honest about YOUR desires, to tell society and whoever else to STFU because you will do what YOU want to do with YOUR body and that you have NO obligation to do whatever they did or what they expect you to do.

It is YOUR right, as a human
to make your own decisions.
Do that.

Monday, April 2, 2018

Weekend Review {4/2}


As The Citadel is a military/prep school, we definitely had class on Friday.  Teh German was off and I was stabbing him with my 5am eye daggers when I dramatically rolled myself out of the bed to go on a run and then get ready for work.  He didn't hear any of that.. of course.

School was school and work was work.  I headed home to anxiously await Teh Advising Sister's arrival.  She arrived about 20 minutes after I got home and we chilled at home for a little bit. Teh German had gotten some fillings done Friday afternoon, so he took a pass on going out with us.

We ended up downtown for dinner and drinks.  It was my first official "wing woman" experience, and I think I could have done better, but for a first time, not so shabby.

At Co, we were seated at a community table (with bench seats (this is relevant)) and 2 guys sat down at the other end of the table.  The one on my side kept sliding closer to me.  About the time I was going to look over and ask if I could help him with something, he decided to introduce himself to us since we going to be dinner neighbors.  It was only mildly awkward, but we managed.  Eventually 2 others joined them and we were all introduced.  We didn't speak to them other than the introductions, but they seemed nice enough.  We had a debacle with the food and ending up sending our food back.  It was disappointing in other ways when it came back out, but we were hungry and didn't care.  We eventually paid our checks and headed out. 

Since it was nice out, I decided our first stop would be Republic.  There was a live band playing 90s/2000s alt rock which wasn't so bad, but wasn't really what we were looking for.  We had a drink there and people watched.

Who brings their dog out to a loud ass bar on a Friday night?
Like, really.  I love my dogs, but they don't deserve to have their ear drums busted by some cover band.

When the dog people left, we took their seats on the couch to finish up our drinks.  We chatted with the people across from us and my military radar went off when we sat down (based on some tattoos) and then they said they were visiting from VA Beach/Norfolk and I did a victory dance in my head. After we finished our drinks, we left Republic and walked down King Street to see what else was open/looked interesting.  We bypassed the empty bars and the country western bar and the bar where there was a line of sorority sisters outside.

We finally ended up at Macintosh, which was a solid decision.  We ended up getting seats at the end of the bar AND we realized we had accidentally stalked our dinner neighbors.  It ended up working out though because one of them bought us shots of Grand Mariner.  The only downside to running into them again was that they had a drunk friend with them and she was SLAAMMERED.  She explained to us that we were the only 15 minutes of fun of her entire night and she was totally up for selfies with made me laugh.

Eventually, they left and there had been a guy sitting close who had ordered a burger and fries.  Not that we were hungry, but they were truffle fries and they smelled delicious.  After Drunkie left, Teh Advising Sister asked if his burger was good and he said yes and explained the special sauce they use and we both preached about how good the fries smelled.  The waitress then asked us something weird and I didn't understand and I realized the burger guy had ordered us a side of the fries.

The fries were DELICIOUS, just as we expected.  But we were stuffed from Co and couldn't come close to eating the entire dish of fries.  Nonetheless, we thanked him and chatted with him for a bit before finally deciding that we were ready to head home. 

Also, while we appreciated free drinks and food.. BOTH guys who gave us free stuff were married.  I'm not an experienced wing woman, but I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.  Nonetheless, we got some delicious fries and a shot.. so we aren't complaining.

After Macintosh, we HAD to make a pre-home stop at Callie's Hot Little Biscuit.  #WORTHIT.

We were soooo full from all the drinks and food, but I explained that we HAD to have one warm biscuit, so Teh Advising Sister and I split a cinnamon biscuit and then it was bedtime.


We didn't have any plans on Saturday.  I woke up early with a headache, not sure if it was alcohol or weather induced, so I happily let Teh German take care of the beasts.  I got up to pee and medicate and went right back to bed. 

We didn't wake up until 1030 and both felt bad since we had company.  We got up and Teh German made coffee for everyone, I headed up the biscuits for breakfast, and we worked out a plan for the afternoon.  Teh Advising Sister had suggested doing a distillery tour, so I did some research and we figured out a game plan and we headed out.  Teh German passed on this adventure to so he could go riding since it was super nice out.

We tried to start out at Striped Pig (where the Yelp Christmas parties are held) but when we arrived, there was a sign on the door that said they were closed because of the holiday.  Slightly annoyed, we headed to High Wire Distilling after calling to confirm they were open.

We did the tour, which was actually super interesting, and then sat down for a flight.  We sampled the vodka, gin, amaro, agricole (rum from sugar cane (vs molasses), and barrelled gin.
FYSI: High Wire Vodka is disgusting and no one should drink it.  On the other hand, their barrelled gin and amaro made me happy and I also purchased a bottle of extra aged rum.  They had found a barrel of rum that had been in the barrel for over 2 years.  I'm pumped to try it.


 After High Wire, we were hungry, but we wanted to check out a alcohol ice cream shop that Teh Advising Sister had found.  They hadn't answered the phone when we called, but I checked online and hours I found on Google and Yelp said they were open, so we headed there anyways.  Because of the way we took to get there, we were conveniently by Metto so we stopped in for an afternoon coffee.  When we arrived at Hard Scoop Distillery, they were closed.  At which point, we were done with the drinking and it was time for dinner.  We agreed on Mexican, and then I just had to determine where to get Mexican from.

I decided on La Norteca and called Teh German to ask if he wanted to meet us there since he was in Mount Pleasant.  He passed since he was going to Mexican for dinner later that evening with the Neighbor Bestie Husbands.  This did not deter us from getting delicious mexican food.

After dinner, we stopped in to At Home to peruse.

If this isn't an analogy of my life, I don't know what is.

We had plans at 6 to go to a Passion Party and we were late because I got carried away.  Oops.  No worries, though, the party didn't start without us.  FYI: I might be one of those overly sex-educated people.  For instance, when the seller/host/whatever she's called asked when the first vibrator was used I said, "During Cleopatria's time when she would have a vial filled with bees and use it as a vibrator."  That wasn't the correct answer.  The correct answer (for an electric vibrator) was the 1900s.  The next question was, "What was it used for?"  I got that question right with, "To treat hysteria."

If anyone wants to be a sex-know-it-all like me, just come visit.  If you use the downstairs bathroom, you should sign the guest book and then check out the pink book with a condom wrapper on the cover, titled, "SEX".  Other reading materials include Emma by Jane Austin and some German book by Bastian Sick.  I would advise you to choose wisely.

This is the 2nd passion party I've ever been to.  If you are a passion party virgin, a passion party is a women-only party where a Mary Kay rep tells you that your sex life is sad and you need things (scented/flavored body products/lubes/numbing creams/etc) to make it better.  And by Mary Kay I mean Pure Romance.  Like most at-home "parties" were things are being sold, it's a pyramid scheme set up.  I was a little underwhelmed by this host's planning since many of her toys were dying or dead, many things were out of stock.  After the presentation of the all the body creams/lubes/etc and vibrators (some of which could probably unscrew the studs from your walls if you held it up to the area long enough), we received a brochure (with prices) in exchange for a card with our information on it.  I was not tricked by this.  Not even a little.

Of course, some gems from the catalog.

Sleeping shirt: $89
Boyshirts w/ pockets: $79
Cami with fancy back and no built in bra: $79
Shorts: $69

This is the versatility page.  Tighten your vaj, stretch your vag...
PS.  You can get a 10 pack of party condoms for $7 at Walmart.

I ended up having a reaction to something that was sprayed on me.  I did buy some things, and if I have a reaction to those things, I'll be calling up the host for my money back.  Especially since all the lotions/lubes/etc were $20 a bottle.  For all the sizes.  3 oz.  20 oz.  $20. 

Please note, I'm not blaming the hostess, I'm blaming the company.  Some of the ladies in attendance were interested in some of the toys but after searching for the description of the items on Amazon, they realized that what Pure Romance was selling for $150+ was only $30 on Amazon (and free 2 day shipping).  And that's how pyramid schemes work.  :)

After the party ended, we headed over to Teh PT House to fetch husbands and hang out.  We did smoke hookah, which we hadn't done in a while.  Eventually, it was bedtime and we all headed home.  We didn't go to bed immediately, but stayed up chatting for a bit and then it was bedtime.


Sunday morning, we planned on going to Holy City Brewing for brunch.  I got up early and did 4.75 miles and then took the dogs on a jog around the block, to which Pax said, kthxfuckyou and we ended up walking the last quarter of the block because he was NOT having it.  Meri was in her element pulling me along.  Both dogs were sooooo quiet for the rest of the day.  It took me less than 5 minutes to leash them up and jog them around the circle and it was probably one of the smartest decisions I'd made all month (last 30 days or ya know, for April, you choose).

Teh PT Wife reminded me the night before that I had also committed us to going to Teh PT Husband's parents for Easter lunch, so Teh German agreed to split something with me so we would be able to eat again at 2.

Lemon-lime soda, Bellini, beer.

Easter Eggs for an appetizer!!!!
Deviled eggs with pimento cheese, ground mustard, and pork rinds.
It was ahhmazing.

Teh German and I split the chicken and waffle and Teh Advising Sister got Fish and Grits.  Teh Advising Sister was leaving Charleston from brunch, so Teh German and I had taken the bikes.  It was a great ride.  ~70°F is my optimum riding temp.

We went home after brunch to skype/facetime with the Germans.  We were late to Easter dinner, but everyone understood and I had told them when I knew we were going to be late not to wait on us.  We were only 30 minutes late, but considering when the chats started, we were ok with that. 

Teh Italian Yankee Mom outdid herself with lunch.  There was salad, lasagna, ham, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, and there was also green beans with pinto beans and rice and pork.  It was like Southern food met Italian food and made babies.  Everything was delicious.  THEN there were no less than 5 options for dessert.  It wasn't even a discussion between Teh German and I, we knew we wouldn't be eating dinner later.

I was a spoil sport and had to leave "early" so I could accomplish my homework.  It was just as depressing as you can imagine.  Conveniently, Teh German arrived home right as I finished my homework.  We were able to squeeze in 2 episodes of Vikings and I'm sad that Floki is being Loki-ish, which isn't really surprising, but we'll see what happens.

Then it was time for bedtime chores and sleepy time.


Overall, a great weekend.  I'm excited for Teh Advising Sister to close on her house so we can come and visit Raleigh!  We discussed all kinds of house things.  It was also fun to go out downtown since that's not something I normally do.  It was an awesome visit!

Homework is kind of in a lull right now because we're in that "it's almost the end of the semester" period where we start prepping for finals and we're taking tests if we have any more before our final exam.  I did some more thinking about my summer class dilemma and I think I'm going to take Calc 2 this summer and leave Chem 2 and the lab for next summer.. maybe even at a different school if it's offered?  IDK.  I did finally come to the conclusion that I probably will not be able to handle a class I hate, Chemistry, a lab for said class, AND a difficult computer science class in a single month AND do well. 

PS.  When I told Papa G that I was getting 1's and 2's (A's and B's) in school he was proud and that made me happy that I make the effort to get A's and B's.  Last semester I was satisfied with passing because wedding and first semester and new things.. but this semester the bar has been raised because those reasons are no longer applicable. 

This week includes:
-Local elections tomorrow
-Bio Test which is probably not going to go well.
-New cleaners will come to give a new estimate.
-Saturday is the Bridge Run.  I might actually be ready if I can get my ass out of the bed either Tues or Weds morning for a run.

23 days until no more Spring 2018 semester classes!
28 days until my last exam is over!
45 days until the honeymoon adventure begins!

(Oh fuck, maybe I should book the Sydney lodging!)