Friday, June 30, 2017

Crockpot Taco Soup

If you haven't gathered, I'm lazy.  I take after my greyhound and try to conserve as much energy as possible.  Unlike my greyhound, it is frowned upon for me to nap for 20+ hours a day, so I have to do adult things to look responsible.

One of those responsibilities is cooking.

Now I would never go so far and say that I love to cook, because I do not.  I do not love standing in the kitchen for an eternity.  But, I do love good food.  So there has to be a trade off somewhere, and that trade-off is my crock-pot.

I'm a huge fan of dump recipes and this taco soup is exactly that.  This is a dynamic recipe so you can adjust whatever you'd like to make it more to your tastes, which is yet another reason that I love it so much.

And yes, I know that soup in the summer is weird.  Do not curr.  I also eat ice cream in the winter because I'm a rebel!

Crock-pot Taco Soup

Ingredients:


-3ish chicken breasts (I used breasts because I felt like thighs might be too fatty.  Already cooked hamburger meat/sausage would probably also fare well, probably about 1-1.5 pounds.  Already cooked so the fat can be drained, but that is not in the spirit of energy conservation.)
-1 can of enchilada sauce (I use the mild green enchilada sauce)
-1 can of diced tomatoes (the Rotel cans are great)
-1 can of corn
-2-3 cans of beans (I used kidney beans, black beans, and chickpeas this time)
-Taco seasoning packet (you can make your own, but in the effort of energy conservation, I used prepackaged taco seasoning)

Toppings:


-Cheese
-Sour cream
-Cilantro (alllll the cilantro)
-Tortilla chips (you can make your own, but in the spirit of conserving energy, I did not)
-Hot sauce (for others, because I do not need my food to set my mouth on fire to enjoy it)
-Avocado
-Whatever else you like on your Mexican dishes


Directions:

(I'm going to break this down Megan-style.)

-Get out crock-pot.  Do not bang it into cabinets.  Do not drop it.
-Plug in crock-pot.
-Place chicken in the crock-pot.  Frozen chicken is fine.  The crock-pot does not care.
-Open a mabillionty cans by hand and consider buying an electric can opener because you live in the first world and you had one growing up and why don't we have a stupid electric can opener?
-Dump all the cans on top of the chicken.  Do NOT drain.  Just dump it all in the crock-pot, yes really.
-Sprinkle the seasoning packet on top of the mix and stir (as best you can with frozen chicken hindering progress).
-Put the lid on the crock-pot.
-TURN ON THE CROCK-POT.  Set it to 8 hours on low.  This step is imperative!
-Ignore crock-pot until it starts beeping incessantly, then ignore it for longer until your people decide they are finally hungry.
-Pop the top!  Ok, maybe this is just my crock-pot since I have the lid clamps, but whatever.
-Fish out the chicken breasts and shred the chicken (I used Bets, my Kitchen Aid stand mixer with the paddle with the Y in it, for optimum energy conservation).
-Dump shredded chicken back into crock-pot carefully so you don't splatter soup all over yourself.
-Stir!
-Slice and dice an avocado and some (1/2 a bunch if you're me) cilantro.
-Add cilantro to the crock-pot and stir.
-Chop up a wee bit more cilantro for my own personal use (note: I love me some cilantro).
-Have your kitchen minion/assistant get out the sour cream, cheese, chips, and hot sauce/whatever else you want on your soup.
-Use a ladle to spoon soup into bowls.  Enough is a good measurement.  Calories don't count in delicious, easy to make food.
-Top with ALL THE THINGS!  I personally crush a few handfuls of chips between my palms and let them fall into the soup.  A dab of sour cream, "enough" cheese, that extra cilantro, and 1/4 of an avocado and I'm set.
-Stir and enjoy!


I'm pretty sure that this recipe could feed 6-8 people and you might still have some leftovers (depending on portion size).  Teh German and I can eat this for several meals, which is perfect for my lazy ass.

Also, if you don't like avocado, don't use it.  If you luuurve hot sauce, add it when you add all the ingredients and let it cook with everything else.  If you don't love kidney beans, use something else.  This is a perfect recipe for using whatever you have on hand.  I happened to have kidney beans on hand because I intended to make chili at some point and failed.  You can use all black beans.  You don't have to use chickpeas.  If you want a thicker soup, drain the beans before you put them into the crock-pot.  It's a completely versatile recipe so you can make it your own!  Dare you!

PS.  This soup makes for some BOMB leftovers.  
I love when food is even better the 2nd time around!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Confessions {6/28}

-I had a meltdown Monday night over life.  Ok, really it was because of my crutches, but it was a perfect storm and there were ugly tears.  I was trying to do laundry and the hamper needed to go back to the closet but I was trying to use 2 crutches (because rules) and it's hard to drag something while holding 2 crutches.  But the real problem was that I had undressed to put my clothes in the washer and I put my hip brace in the hamper and then the hamper fell over and when I was trying to pick it up, I dropped one of the crutches.  I managed to get the crutch and put the hamper upright again, and then the mother fucking crutch fell again and I lost my shit.  "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!  I FUCKING HATE THESE GOD DAMNED CRUTCHES!!!!!"  Pax was so scared that he didn't know what to do with himself because he thought he was in trouble (#newdogproblems).  I stood there, naked in flip flops, with one crutch under my arm, one crutch and the hamper fallen over on the ground, sobbing.  Teh German was just as skeptical as Pax, but eventually, I heard him walk over and he handed my my missing crutch and hugged me.

I know the countdown to crutches is dwindling, but seriously, I'm over the fucking crutches and being helpless.  Teh German asked if this was better than the pain that I was having before and I admitted that yes, it is, since it's a means to an end, but I am over ALL of it.  I am over the hip pain then the surgery pain and now the recovery pain and the mother fucking crutches which are always banging on things and getting in the way and falling over and not being able to do physical activities.  Next time someone tries to give me crutches, I'm asking for a walker because at least that stupid thing can stand on it's own... and I can put tennis balls on it and be like Mr. Fredricksen from Up.

-I have a coupon code for $45 off groceries if I use Instacart to deliver my groceries, which is great for someone who can't drive.. Except that when you add in the service charge and the delivery tip and the fact that you aren't shopping sales prices and everything seems to have the price a little bit inflated on the website, it's like I'm not saving anything other than my effort.  At this point, I'd rather just go get my groceries myself and save myself the hassle of not being able to pick exact items that I want.  #alwaysincontrol

-Just kidding.  I placed an order with Walmart Grocery and I'll just go pick my items up since there was minimal produce.  I'll put away the cold stuff and then have Teh German help me bring in/put away all the other stuff.  #convenienceiscritical

-I put a christmas tree smelling air freshener in the living room and I love that it smells like christmas tree in my house.

-There are days that I don't shower because I have a very hard time stepping away from the computer for work once I've sat down, even if I'm not actually doing work.  #admittingmyfaults

-After my PT appointment on Monday, Teh German and I went by Shoe Carnival so Teh German could find some new shoes.  I'm glad to see these babies hit retirement because they are falling apart...


-Roomy the Roomba gets stuck in the stupidest places and it makes me want to drop him down the stairs.  Also, WHY must he bang into my chair/the couch over and over?  PS. I know there are ways to make him not go to places.  I keep trying to talk Teh German into programming him to run overnight, but he keeps saying no.  Maybe I'll just reprogram him myself.  Teh German won't notice anyway, he sleeps like the dead.  The real concern is Meri hearing Roomy banging around and she'll start barking at it in the middle of the night thinking we have an intruder.  She's only a guard dog when she's unable to escape the space she is in to find out who the visitors are..  #RobotVacuumLife

-Oh yes, I'd love to PAY to defer my payments.  Are there people really this fucking stupid to take "advantage" of this offer?  Ya know what, I'd rather not know.  My next payment for Bagheera is due in 2020 but I know that I'll be closing that loan out by the end of the year with another large payment.  #makeitrain



-TVs at gas pumps make me irrationally angry.  If I wanted to be talked at during this inconvenient time of my life, I would have left the radio on or chatted up the person on the other side of the pump.  #STFU #IDoNotNeedaScreentoEntertainMyself

-Meri wanted to sleep on the bed with us last night which was strange.  Makes me wonder if my girl is not feeling well.  I'll be keeping an eye on her today.  #SickBabiesWanttoSnuggle

-I have a list of things to do that I haven't accomplished anything on in over a week.  #Unmotivated

-I've started walking around without crutches.  Just short distances like from the stove to the fridge or from our bathroom to the closet, but I feel like this is probably better than just stopping using my crutches all at once.  #weaningmyself

-I changed my Walmart Grocery order no less than 5 times after placing the original order.  #notsorry

-Sometimes I put forth effort towards dinner to make up for all the times I DNGAF.  Last night was meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans, from scratch.


-The juices from the meatloaf ran over while it was cooking last night and now I have to clean my oven and it makes me want to violence something.  How well does self-clean actually work?  HOW does self-clean work?  We also have a steam clean option.  Maybe I should just read the instruction manual to the oven that I hate with all of my being. 

-I've really been wanting sweets lately.  Like a lot.  like all the Oreos and ice cream and brownies and smores and cookies and none of those things keep me in my "perfect" state... #MeganProblems

-I bought all the ingredients and made a shower spray last week.  It leaves streaks in my shower and we still have to squeegee.  I hate everything.


Monday, June 26, 2017

Weekend Review {6/26}

FRIDAY

After my morning meeting, I went to Donut Connection with Roux's Humom and Mr. Golfer.  They offered to bring me something back and I asked to just go with them instead so I could get out of the house.  While the banana pudding donut was good, I'm a Krispy Kreme girl and it was just too cakey for me.  Spoiler alert: I took zero pictures of any of my delicious noms all weekend.  #bloggerfail.

Lunch!

After donuts, Roux came over for a little while to play and burn some energy before a weekend of rain.  It was a quiet day at work, thankfully, since Thursday had been a shit show.  I spent the afternoon watching Grey's Anatomy and finally posting my blog.

Teh German came home earlier than expected, but he was only home for long enough to scoop poop (a duty that he has taken on), take care of the dishes, and do a quick scroll through his social media, then he was back out the door.  He went to smoke cigars with Teh PT Husband.  I stayed home and went outside to lay in the hammock and read.  I also ended up taking a mostly disturbed nap.

Eventually, I went inside and started working on a new puzzle.  I learned that 500 piece puzzles are tiiiiiiiny compared to the monsters that I normally do.  This is good and bad.  It feels underwhelming, but at the same time, it's enough of a challenge for a single person to do without really needing help.

At some point, Teh German texted me asking if I was hungry.  I was not since I had eaten lunch to see if it would solve my headache problem (it didn't because #barometerhead).  Teh German ended up coming home and eating leftovers for dinner.  Before he left to go back for more cigar time, Teh PT Wife came over and we started the new Monsters, Inc. puzzle I purchased.

Finally, it was bedtime and we called it a night.


SATURDAY

Saturday morning we had a slow start.  Teh German has a whole list of projects he wants to accomplish and I asked if I could help in any way and he told me no (#invalidproblems).  After a breakfast of leftovers (which there was a LOT of), I started working on my Ariel puzzle and Teh German perused social media.  I finally had to encourage him to get the party started since we had evening plans.


He asked me if I cared what project he started on first and I told him no I did not care since it was all projects he wanted to accomplish.  So he decided to start on the project where he "decorates" the garage.  Not really decorates, but "finishes".  There's not really a word for it.  See picture below for what the end goal is.

Similar to this with the medal and the wood planks.

Anyways, he got a bunch of pallets from work and he started disassembling them.  All the while, I was completing my Ariel puzzle and listening to an audiobook.  Once I finished my puzzle (because 500 piece puzzles are perfect for one person), I went out to the garage to check on Teh German.  We had a minor dispute about where the disassembled pallet wood would (oh, English) be stored and he suggested the shelves beside Yurtle and I shut that shit down quick.  He got pissy with me until I explained that HE would not want the boards falling on his truck if he was parked beside them, so he had to find somewhere else to store them.  I also asked him if he really wanted to do this project since it seemed like an excessive amount of work (the disassembling of the pallets is only part one.  Piecing the pallet wood up on the wall is another beast).  He was adamant that he does want to do this project and with that, I shut my mouth and headed inside to take a shower.

At 4, Teh PT Wife picked me up and we headed to grab a coffee for her, then to Bridals by Jodi so I could visit Dress Who Needs A Name (everything that I come up with describes it and well, that's not so good).  The dress fit perfectly.  In fact, the associate who was helping me may have actually said I was perfect, so ya know, NBD.  Yay for the surgery diet.  The only alterations the dress will need is a hem and possibly something to make my boobs stay in place.  YAY for dollas saved.. and for encouraging the lady that measured me back in February to actually order the dress that fit and not something bigger.

Color problems.

I'd post the pics, but no.  #sorrynotsorry I need people who read the blog, who are coming to the wedding, to be at least kinda surprised about something at the wedding. 

We had planned for Teh German, Teh PT Husband and Kid to meet us at Mex 1 for dinner at 6.  Since we had time, we headed to Total Wine for a shopping spree.  $150 lighter (for my wallet), we finally headed back to Mex 1 for dinner.  Also, total #MeganWin: there was a beer in a tye-dye can that I decided Teh German needed to try.  It ended up being a Kolsch, which Teh German likes.. and after he tried it, he said it was pretty good.  Tye-dye always means good things.

Teh PT Family had never been to Mex 1, so it did not disappoint.  I was pleased with Teh PT Husband ordered what I normally order and was mumbling praise of delicious noms as he was eating.  I never lead people wrong about food.

After Mex 1, we headed home.  Teh PT Wife came over and we finished the Monsters, Inc. puzzle while the Teh German and Teh PT Husband smoked cigars.  After finishing the Monster's puzzle, we headed to Teh PT House to start a Wizard of Oz puzzle.  #puzzleaddicts 


When we realized it was midnight, we called it quits and Teh German and I headed home for bed.


SUNDAY

We had a lunch scheduled at Sesame with a couple from Crossfit at 11.  As expected, the food was delicious and the conversation was great.  I ordered the bourbon cream cheese stuffed french toast, which came with chicken wings, and I did not get a photo. 

After lunch, Teh German and I headed to JC Penny to see if their store closing sale had any good deals that we might be interested in.  Teh German was specifically looking for a suit for the wedding, but I was browsing for anything really.  Everything was at least 50% off the original price, so that was a decent sale.  I ended up finding 2 pairs of shoes that I really liked (for one day, when I finally get to drive myself to work again) and Teh German ended up with several pairs of jeans (much needed), some new work button down shirts, a new khaki suit, and 2 new formal button downs, white and purple.  He isn't sure if this is his wedding suit, but he does at least have a summer suit now and for $100, that was fine with me.


Originally, we had planned to look for new shoes for Teh German and go to Victoria's Secret for me but we were wiped by the time we were done at JC Penny and we just left instead.  We were halfway home when I realized we'd forgotten to go by the shoe store for Teh German.  He didn't seem too heartbroken over it.

We made a pit stop at Lowe's for Teh German and then we headed home.  I finally got settled in for a Skype date with Teh Running Bestie since it had been 30 days since I had seen her last and our communication has been pretty minimal over that month.  While Teh German drafted a letter to his Opa, I puzzled.  Eventually, Teh German had dinner and when he was done, I realized I was hungry.  I crafted some ramen while we watched Modern Family for the rest of the evening.


Eventually it was bedtime.


______________________________________________

A perfect lazy/laid back weekend.  I was afraid when there was nothing on the calendar that this weekend would run us ragged, but not the case!

This week is looking pretty dull, which is just fine.  PT continues for the rest of my life.  ONE-ish more week on crutches!  It cannot be done soon enough!  The equipment guy came and picked up the CPM this morning.  We have our couch back! 

Happy Last Week of June, Gentle Readers!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Five on Friday #113

EINS

What I've watched this week on Netflix:
-Atlantis: The Lost Empire
-The Jungle Book (live-action)
-Grey's Anatomy, a handful of episodes from Season 12, because leaving the country in 2010 put me perpetually behind with all things entertainment.

I also pulled out some DVDs to watch in the next few weeks (since I'm home all day and I'm about to start school and still be working and my life is going to pretty much go down the drain).  Those DVDs include Mad Men, the last season in 2 parts (grumble), Disney's The Princess and the Frog, and Disney's Beauty and the Beast.  I need to order the live-action Beauty and the Beast, but it's not high on my list after the Amazon haul I did this week to make some shower spray... and my puzzles arrived.  Whatever.


ZWEI

Things for buying:
-a new laptop.  Ugh.  The hinge is broken on my current laptop and I don't really dig the idea of using my work computer for school.  I will wait until the beginning of August when tech shit goes on sale though, but for right now, I'm window shopping.  This is gross because it's going to be a lot of dollars and spending lots of dollas always makes me irritable.

-Disney movies.  Always and forever.

-Collective Soul, Our Lady Peace, and Tonic concert tickets for Saturday.  I'm seriously going to try to peer pressure Timo (and others) into going on Saturday night because the tickets aren't that much and 90s bands and what else do we have to do?  I'm obviously still making up for missing DCFC and Ellie Goulding and some others last year.  #notsorry

-Wedding things.  Actually, I'm trying to actively avoid thinking about wedding things because it stresses me out that I know decisions are coming that I can't make yet. 

-Alterations for my wedding dress (that apparently needs a name since it's a "she") that arrived to the shop on Thursday.  I think I'm going to go visit "her" this weekend.

-Eating out (that counts right?).  I'm thinking we need to brunch this weekend, but IDK where yet.  Sitting at home all the day long really makes me feel like I need to go out more.  #teleworkingproblems

-The 1 year Audible membership for $99.  You better believe I used my other Amazon account to get that deal.  #savindollas  I seriously wish Audible had a reference reward or general rewards for all the money I've spent.  Siiiiiiigh.

-Disney Villian stamps.  Shout out to Twin Mom for sharing this very valuable information with me on the FBs.  You better believe I pre-ordered some of those bitches.  In fact, 3 sheets worth.  #notsorry  I would have stocked up on the Pixar stamps if I'd have known they were going away a few years ago.  #LessonLearned #DisneyLife 


DREI

From the phone:

I informed Teh German, AGAIN, that we have a can lid. So he can use the can lid on and completely remove the tin top. When I went to eat these for lunch, I took the lid off and saw this. It was good he wasn't home. There was a lot of rage. I'll just chalk it up to #languagebarrier...

We have a bird's nest in one of our hanging plants!  Roux's Humom actually was the first to notice, but when the plant was on the ground the other day, I finally got to see it!... and realize that the camera install guys suck at that "it will be like we were never here" thing... Put things back where you got them and no one gets cut. I'm really hoping that Mama Bird didn't desert the nest or get eaten in the few days that the plant was on the ground (Mon to Thurs).  Teh German hung the basket back up where it should have been.  Fingers crossed.

Super pumped this baby came back.  Teh Mom and I planted this one last year and it brings me joy.

Passionflower vine is out of control!  I love it!  I am kind of afraid it's going to take over those purple flowers beside it, so I might need to move those..

Being crippled = not being able to weed the flower beds.  I know it needs to happen.
BTW, Teh German tried to tell me the plant in the bed, at the back on the left was dead.  HA!  I was right!

Lurve these!

Fuzz face.


Pax and his Lamby.

Teh German said he apologized to the frog.  #oops


VIER

Random things:

-Steph shared a link this week about how pro-lifers should be called anti-abortionist and while a lot of it is very subjective and I question the statistics, but this line struck a chord with me:
There are certainly going to be people who will reply to this by shouting, “then women should keep their damn legs shut.”  No. Go crawl back to the time capsule you came out of. Ninety-five percent of Americans have pre-marital sex. Nine months of unwanted pain and possibly death is not an acceptable punishment for being unlucky while engaging in an almost universally practiced past time. It is the punishment for 0 percent of men, which is the correct percentage.

-In my SYUB linkup post, I talked about Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a short book (50pgs), that everyone needs to read.  It included these quotes which keep reverberating through my brain and I love it...
“Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.” 
“Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. 'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything. Ever.”  
And my favorite, #sorrynotsorry, Teh German..
“The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.”

-I need to make these Fruity Pebble/marshmallow/cake bars.

-The soon-to-be-released TJR novel currently has a Goodreads giveaway.  Not that I want you to be my competition, but this is probably the ONE books I've signed up for as a giveaway that I would actually read the day it arrives.


FÃœNF

10 things that made me happy this week:
  1. Two-ish weeks left on crutches.  I'm ready to set these things on fire.  It's too bad they aren't the old wooden ones.
  2. Being validated at work that I was right and someone else was wrong.
  3. Driving to the butcher for steaks on Thursday.  It's less than 10 minutes away on low traffic roads, do not panic.
  4. Being able to pop my back in my hip brace.
  5. Mex 1 on Wednesday night as an outing because I was going stir crazy and may have been lashing out at Teh German.. oops.
  6. Meri snuggles.
  7. Teh German's patience and helpfulness this week around the house.
  8. My wedding dress finally coming in.
  9. Matching the Turvis lids to their cups again... I was trying to just ignore it, but I couldn't any longer. #OCD.  Bonus: Teh German didn't even make fun of me when I explained it after he asked why I hadn't done anything with the red lid he took off another cup.  #HeGetsMe
  10. New puzzles!


Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Confessions {6/21}

-I'm ready for this CPM to be out of my house so I don't feel obligated to sit in it while I'm working at home.  Since it's a new week, I got more degrees of motion and the 0-90° (at the knee) is absolutely killing my back.  #Iamold

-I'm ready for a visit to the Chiropractor.  #Ineedsthepops

-The not rainy weather makes the rainy weather give me a headache.  I'd rather it just be rainy all the time.  #IntheMinority

-I have one more wedding invitation to print out.  Everyone else hears about it through word of mouth.  I'm over it.  #SinglePointofFailure

-I haven't told my boss yet that I still "can't" drive.  Not that me being in or out of the office affects much, but just the principle.  I'm already going to be needy with my school schedule and now this?  Oops.  Technically, I could have Teh German drop me off at work before he goes to work and pick me up when he gets off, but no one wants to do that, me, Teh German, anyone I work with.  Nope, nope, nope.  Additionally, Teh German works 9ish hours per day, which would be fine, except that he'd probably want to leave earlier to drop me off so he can be there at his "on time" and then he'd come and get me later since he'd come after he gets off work, which isn't a consistent time.. and well, I can only imagine how stressed that would make me, so no, that is just not an option we will consider.  #teleworklife

-Sometimes I make food on the weekend to eat then, but we don't end up eating it for various reasons until the week.  #OneLessMealtoPlan

-I want to do ALL THE PUZZLES right now.  I may have accidentally purchased more puzzles since I had a 20% off code.  Total, I got 1- 750 piece, 8- 500 piece, 1- 2000 piece.  All Disney. All for $35.  #savingdollas #DisneyLife #PuzzleMaster

-I may have accidentally hit Teh German in the face (like square on his nose/glasses) on Monday after my physical therapy while I was putting on my hip brace because he doesn't normally help me and I didn't expect him to be where he was (assisting me with the leg part of the brace).  Oops.  Part of me assumes that maybe he was being helpful because we were in an office full of dudes.  But, the reasonable part of me is just going to let it go with, he was just being my Teh German and being helpful.  #accidentprone

-Why wasn't Google Calendar in my life when I was at NC State?  I was able to add all my classes to a Google Calendar and share it with my boss and Teh German and Teh Running Bestie and anyone else who needs to know where I'm at and when.  I should add Teh Mom and Teh Dad on principle, just like the old days.  JK.  I had to send them a list of my class schedule and they still never managed to get it right.

-I need a new laptop because mine has a busted hinge and I can't close it, which really means I have a desktop.  The question is, do I just use my work computer for school or do I bite the bullet and buy a new laptop?  #goodbyedollas

-I'm way ahead in my payments on Bagheera because I drop large amounts on the loan rather than pay monthly for the next 3 years.  I decided that I would make another payment this week.  I had everything set up to come out of my checking account, all I had to do was hit submit, then I had a light bulb moment.  If I made the payment with my credit card, I'd earn rewards, and I could go in and schedule the same payment to my credit card rather than to the loan company.  Which is exactly what I did.  Makin' my dollas work for me.  PS.  My next payment is due January 2020.  #wayahead

-Dear Audible,
FUCK YOU.  I got an email this morning that offered a year's membership for $100, saving $50.  Then I read the fine print... "This offer is not available to existing Audible members, or customers who have been paid Audible members in the past 30 days."  Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.  #howtopissmeoff

-I've seen people watching the new live-action Beauty and the Beast on at home and I thought it was on Netflix, but when I went to find it.. it was not there.  Riddle me confused...  Instead I watched Atlantis: The Lost Empire.  It was full of inconsistencies but overall kept my interest and then I followed that up by the live-action Jungle Book.  Guess I should probably just go ahead and place a Disney Movie Club order...  #FOMO

Not even close, Amazon.  Give it up.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Erin's Challenge 7.0

Erin's Challenge is upon us again!  Because I am an invalid, it wasn't difficult for me to find the time select my books. #notsorry


Here's what's what.

5 points: Freebie – Read a book that is at least 200 pages

  • TBD.

10 points: Read a book that starts with the letter “B”


10 points: Read a book that has a (mostly) yellow cover


15 points: Read a book that has a picture of an animal on the cover (submitted by Mattie)


20 points: Read a book that was published in 2017 (submitted by Olya)


20 points: Read a book with a compass or cardinal direction in the title (submitted by Mary)


25 points: The ALA’s “Banned Books Week” occurs while our challenge is happening. Read a book from this list of the most commonly banned books in America: (submitted by Christina)


30 points: Read a fictional book about mental illness (submitted by Jamie)


30 points: Read a book with a non-human main character; i.e. animals, elves, gods, robots, merpeople, etc. (submitted by Bev)


35 points: Read a book a Disney movie was based on OR a book based on a Disney movie (submitted by Kirsten)




    The only conundrum I have for this challenge is that I need Brosh's book to be published in September.  If it gets pushed back (again), then I'll have to make some adjustment since I'll probably read Furiously Happy instead, which means I'll read Thirteen Reasons for my mental illness category and I'll have to read Catch-22 for my banned book, if I read Cursed Child for my yellow cover.  #itshardtobeme

    Also, TJR's book hasn't been published yet, but I'm not expecting that one to get delayed (watch me eat those words).  Fingers crossed.

    I pulled all these books off my TBR list #likeaboss.  Also, almost all of them should be available from my library, which is a positive for my pocket.  I will buy the Brosh book since I already own her other book.

    Monday, June 19, 2017

    Weekend Review {6/19}

    FRIDAY

    Friday morning, I actually got up when Teh German got up (a first since my surgery) and went downstairs to accomplish work things.  I had an Ortho appt at 1045, and I knew that would eat up at least 1.5 hours of my day since it always takes the Ortho forrrreevvvarrrrr...

    Roux's Humom had agreed to take me to my appointment so Teh German wouldn't have to be out of work for half a day.  She came to get me at 10 and we made a pit stop at Starbucks, then headed to the doctor's office a lot early.  Oops.

    After an x-ray of my hip, my stitches were finally removed!  HOORRRAYYY!!  They were starting to itch.  When the Ortho came in, he explained what he did during the procedure and when I admitted that I had been one-crutchin' around the house, he glared at me.  I begged him to let me drive and he said that he didn't suggest it, but I could.  He pointed out that if I got into an accident while wearing my brace, any attorney in town would have a field day with me.  That was enough to scare me into NOT driving. 



    The overall take aways were:
    -I need to not be one-crutchin'.
    -I should not drive yet.
    -I will be on crutches for another 2 weeks, then another week to wean myself off of them (using one crutch).
    -I do not have a date that I no longer have to wear my hip brace.  Maybe by 2020?  (<-Go back in 4 weeks for another assessment.  Hopefully no glares at this one!

    After the appointment, Roux's Humom brought me to the commissary and I was like a kid in a candy store.. except with meats and imported items.  What would have cost me no less than $300 at Publix, cost me $120 at the commissary.  #win

    After Roux's Humom dropped me off and delivered my groceries inside, she headed home, I put away the groceries, I finished up my work day and I went upstairs to take a nap with the dogs.  When I woke up, I took the opportunity to print the last of the envelopes for invites that needed to be sent.  When Teh German came home, I suggested Sesame for dinner and he didn't need his arm twisted.


    We received a package for Pax and Meri on Thursday with no name saying who it was from. It was a big Lamb Chop, which I had meant to order.  Since they had already gotten cheese sticks and we were about to leave, I didn't want to give the toy to them.  AND they had already gotten new toys earlier in the week.  So I waited.  Friday, 2 more packages arrived for Pax and Meri and it was toys like Meri's mice, except bees and chipmunks.  Since Teh German was home to help me, I finally distributed the toys.  Meri got the wrong hedgehog that I had ordered, Pax got Lamb Chop, and I tried to give Meri a bee, but Pax took it, so then I gave her another bee.  I had Teh German put the extra toys away for another day.



    The bigger lesson of the toys was that Teh Running Bestie had claimed she was not the sender of Lamb Chop on Thursday when I asked her.  Roux's Humom said it wasn't her either.  I seriously was at a loss as to who would have sent the toys.  Soooo I did some stalking.  The Amazon slips have QR codes you can scan to send a thank you.  I had asked Teh German to investigate this situation on Thursday night and he got no results.  Amateur.  I scanned the QR code and Amazon generated a thank you note to [Teh Running Bestie] and I told her she was caught!  No one stalks like Teh Megan stalks.  #neverforger

    After distributing toys, we headed to Sesame for dinner.  I hadn't really eaten lunch, which isn't really abnormal these days, so I ate all the things.  I ordered a sweet tea (which I had been looking forward to alllll daaayyyy loooonnnggg) and an adult milkshake and a sandwich.  The only thing I didn't order was dessert, but only because I had the milkshake.  I won't lie.  I had to adjust my hip brace to be a little more loose to allow for more space for food.  Hip brace = an external LAP band.


    When we got home, we headed over to Teh PT House for smoking hour.  By 10:30, we were all tired and Teh German and I came home and went to bed.


    SATURDAY

    Saturday morning we kinda slept in.  I woke up Teh German around 0900 so we could have a slow start to the morning.  We had a skype date with Auntie P scheduled at noon and then brunch at 1:00.  Getting up "early" gave us a chance to get showered so we could be ready to go whenever we finished our skype date.

    Snuggles with Meri and her bee on Saturday morning.
    I got the ass end and she was using Teh German as her pillow.

    We learned that Opa will not being coming for the wedding, which was a bit disappointing.  Of course, we understand that 1- it's expensive, 2- it's far, 3- he and his partner are old.  This doesn't exempt him from sending back my our RSVP card!!

    Immediately after our Skype date, we loaded into Baloo with Teh PT Family and headed to Slightly North of Broad (or SNOB) for brunch.  I'm always down for a new place and Teh PT Family had a gift certificate they needed to finish off.. and well, you don't have to twist my arm.

    Crab cake benedict

    The food was good, but like always with downtown, overpriced.  I could have gotten exactly the same thing in Mount Pleasant or Summerville for slightly cheaper.  #downtownproblems  Nonetheless, it was nice to go to brunch downtown and not have to wait a million years on a table.  After brunch, we headed to Lowes in Summerville to pick up some items for Teh PT Family since they weren't able to fit in their SUV.  This was also the reason that we took Baloo instead of riding with them.  Despite the rain, I still got out to check out the clearance section in the parking lot, like every good homeowner would.  I saved some dollas by not finding anything, but that's ok.

    I had left the garage open for when Teh German was finished unloading the truck and apparently we had a visitor in the garage!  Teh German relocated him to near the retention pond.
    Before we left, Teh PT Wife had to relocate him back to the grass since he was in the middle of the street.

    Once we got home, I was tired and sweaty and starting to hurt, so I came home and medicated.  Teh PT Wife and I had agreed to go back out to Walmart to pick up some items, but due to storms in the area, a power grid had been knocked out and Walmart didn't have any power.  We waited a bit and called one of the neighboring businesses to ensure they had power before heading out.  Then when we got to Walmart, they were still closed... sooo we made the best of it and went to Target and walked out with way more than the 1-3 items that we, collectively, needed.  #Targetproblems  We also got Starbucks on our way in.  #notsorry

    That dark mint frap is on point.
    I should have had them add some of the smores marshmallow topping.
    #nexttime

    It was as we were halfway home that Teh German called and asked if we had gotten lost.  I confirmed that we had not, but we would be home soon.  After getting home, Teh German carried our items to our house and helped me unpack them.  We had a quick dinner and eventually headed back over to Teh PT house with Meri and Pax.  Teh PT Wife and I worked on a puzzle designed by Satan himself while Teh German and Teh PT Husband did their cigar/beer thing.

    Finally, it was late and all the puzzle pieces were looking the same, so we called it a night.


    SUNDAY

    Sunday morning we slept in until 1030.  It was delightful.  We had zero plans for the day.  After a breakfast of leftovers, our across the street neighbors came over to check up on me and drop off some lemon cake, since they know it is one of my favorites.


    Teh German eventually decided to go on a motorcycle ride, without me (of course) after I told him that he shouldn't punish himself and not ride just because I can't ride.  You know how sometimes you say thing and you mean it, but you don't.  That was one of those things.  It's ok though because I would have been hot and miserable on a ride anyways, so this handicap of mine is turning out to be a solid life excuse for so many things.

    While Teh German was gone, I puzzled on my Kindle and finished listening to Red Rising.  In the last 25% I finally got hooked and started enjoying it.  My Kindle died right after the book ended, so perfect time.  Teh German came home within 15 minutes of my book ending, so all-in-all, perfect timing. 

    Later in the afternoon, Teh PT Wife asked if I wanted to puzzle and I said yes.  Teh German asked Teh PT Husband if he wanted to come over to our house to smoke, which was acceptable.  Around 9:30, I was finally tired and we called it quits on the puzzle.  After I got home, Teh PT Husband headed home and then Teh German wanted dinner. 

    Max was only interested in distracting us from our puzzle.
    Marcie was supervising.





    All the while, Pax and Meri were at our house and Pax has learned that the green thing is a dog bed!


    After some noms, it was time for bedtime.

    ____________________________________________________

    Overall, a very relaxing weekend.  I am a little disappointed not to be able to drive yet, but I'd rather have to use Teh German's taxi services than be sued for an accident I didn't cause.  #priorities

    I got some errands done, which is good and bad since it means I still didn't get a chance to use my instacart thing for grocery delivery.  Oh yes.  Grocery DELIVERY.  I love 2017.  I barely touched my phone for most of the weekend, which is always a good time.

    Today was a big day.  Our camera system got installed!  Pax and Meri were on their best behavior and after the 2nd time the installers came inside, they were no longer interested in them and just laid in their beds napping.  #bestestpuppiesinthewholewideworld


    3 more weeks till no more crutches!!!!  I think I might start a countdown.

    Friday, June 16, 2017

    Five on Friday #112

    EINS

    Somehow the Great Barrier Reef came up in conversation (maybe we saw a picture or something) and I told Teh German how one of my life goals was to dive the Great Barrier Reef (preferably before it dies).  Teh German said one of his life goals was to go to Australia.  So essentially, now I'm like.. honeymoon switch up?  IDK.  We haven't discussed it yet, but I'm going to look at the price difference and see what I come up with and talk with Teh German about his preferences.

    That said, are there in all-inclusive resorts near the Great Barrier Reef that aren't going to absolutely rape my wallet?  Also, has teleporting been invented yet?  I'm willing to be a test subject if you can get me to/from Australia without jet lag and flight delays and ticket prices..


    ZWEI

    We're thinking of a trip to NC in July to go to the Highland Games.  I've never been and I'm pumped about it.  The other entertainment option is the Blackberry Festival but I've always wanted to go to the Highland Games.  Teh German may bring Suzi, but I'm hoping he doesn't so we can go to the Highland Games together with Teh WJL.


    DREI

    I usually save my book talk for book posts, but I read a book yesterday (yep, in ONE day, ok fine, the text was only like 50 pages long) and I loved it.  When I first saw this book, I shied away since it was by an African author, who I obviously wouldn't really be able to relate to and the book was probably about Africa and blah blah blah.  Fuck if I wasn't wrong.

    Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
     
    Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not “if only.” Not “as long as.” I matter equally. Full stop.  ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
     
    It's only 50 pages.  No one has a valid excuse not to read this book.  Don't let those names scare you away like they did me.  My library actually had this on ebook and it was available and if my library has a book by an African author, yours probably does too.

    I added a few more of her books to my TBR list and downloaded them from my library, while I wrote this.  I also requested they purchase another of her books, because why not have all of them?  Duh.


    VIER

    Teh PT Wife sent me this link ages ago and it's like this article was written about me: Struggles of the Naturally Loud Woman.

    Jimmy Fallon seems like the Johnny Carson of our time.  He started doing a thing where they put English song lyrics into Google Translator and then sing the translated versions of the songs.  It's especially hilarious to me since I live with someone that speaks English as a second language and often he makes me laugh with his literal translations.




    Pax smiles and it's adorable!



    Other dog videos I've failed to share (oops):





    FÃœNF

    10 things that made me happy this week:
    1. Reading books about feminism.
    2. Getting my stitches out today!
    3. How much joy Teh German gets from seeing how funny he is and how people appreciate his humor.
    4. Continuing to improve in my physical therapy.
    5. My back popping.
    6. Calls and texts from the Chiro and our wedding planner, checking up on me and a card from GEGR with well wishes.
    7. Printing out the last of our invitations, for a while.
    8. RSVPs!!!!  A few more trickled in this week.  PRAISE!
    9. Actually getting to read some of the SUYB link-uppers.
    10. Making plans for gatherings and making travel plans (or at least discussing travel plans).

    Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.


    Thursday, June 15, 2017

    Shit Teh German Said #10

    www.canIdecideanotherday.com



    Teh German was watching the USA vs Germany ice hockey.
    M: Are we winning?
    Teh German stammers, unsure of who "we" is.  It was pretty cute.
    M: It's ok, I set you up. 


    T: Shoo!  You stink!
    M: WHO?
    T: Phil.
    M: Oh yeah..
    T: Not you babe..  You're stink..in' cute.


    While out to dinner at Willie Jewell's with the neighbors.
    M: How do you make a fritter, exactly?
    T: You put the critter in the fritter.


    While discussing potential dog names.
    T: It could be Vader.
    M: It would be Wader (which is the way German's pronounce it).
    T: See you Wader!


    M: I'm trying to think of old man names.  What are some old man German names?
    Lull in the conversation.
    M: You're not helping.  I'll just Google it.  'What are popular German names of the 1940s?'
    Before the search results could load...
    T: Adolf.
    I cried I was laughing so hard.


    M: Wow, babe, you're on a roll tonight.
    T: Yeah, that was my hat trick.




    After rubbing on Vick's Vapor-rub
    T:  I smell like I made out with a bunch of koalas.



    T: At least I know that I probably won't miss much of your trip because Snapchat.
    M: Mmm, depends on if we have wifi at the parks.
    T: You're out of data?
    M: Nope. Just in case.


    When discussing the decision to move forward with Pax's adoption or wait on the doberman rescue.
    T: We're a greyhound family.
    💕💕💕



    Shit Teh German Said Edition 123456, 7, 8, 9, 10



    Wednesday, June 14, 2017

    Confessions {6/14}

    -Promo codes for free groceries and free delivery at a time when I'm not allowed to drive?  #fate

    -I bought new toys for Pax and Meri.  I was hoping to get super large toys.  I did not purchase wisely.  Also, I seem to have no concept of measurements.  #mathishard


    -I added the toys I intended to buy to my Amazon wish list.  They will be there when I need them.

    -I need to take care of some stuff for school, preferably before classes start in the fall, but not being allowed to drive is kinda cock-blocking progress.  I need to request a waiver for some required classes in lieu of work experience and other classes that I've already taken.  I'm hoping it is an easy yes, otherwise I have to take an English and History class that I do not need.


    -Per my insurance website, the Ortho charged $66,500 for my hip surgery.  That's just his part.  That's not what the hospital charged me, or the pre-op labs, or the anesthesiologist/etc ologists that I haven't been billed for yet.  Hello, $100,000 ass!


    -I got to move my CPM machine up to 15/75° from 30/60°!  It's progress!  Since the CPM is for knee patients, the degree of my hip is actually less than that, but it's continuous motion, so ya know.. movement is movement.

    -After my sprint on Sunday, I was feeling a little bit sore.  Not enough to take meds.  I feel like not taking meds keeps me in check on doing things I should/shouldn't be doing.  If it hurts, don't do it.  Duh.  #realitycheck #UnmedicatedLife

    -RSVPS!!  Teh German's parents have finally RSVPed for our wedding.  As if they hadn't already purchased their plane tickets and made hotel reservations last month.  So at least all of our parents will be at the wedding.  There are a few other big ticket individuals we'd like to get a yes from, but we're standing by to hear the decision.


    -We attended Company's open house event last night and Lowcountry Boils never make my belly sad.  On the other hand, peeling skrimpies before I eat them because legs, makes me very sad.  #MeganProblems

    -My surgery charges were audited by my insurance company to make sure the surgery wasn't due to an accident or work related injury.  Nope suckas, you gotta pay that!  Also, how about a FUCK YAAASSS to meeting my out of pocket deductible and not having to pay no mo!  #winning Well, winning if you exclude the $2000 I paid out of pocket for medical expenses this year.


    Tuesday, June 13, 2017

    SYUB: May 2017

    Life According to Steph
    Being crazy busy and surgery made me hit the pause button on reading, but I got motivated to finish this month with a bang.  I struggled through some of my selections this month, but blame that on the pre-surgery stress/ADD.

    Also, at what point did I become so critical of books.  I think maybe part of it is me and not spending more than 10-30 minutes reading/listening so I can't really get into a book.  But I think that it could also be that I'm just not that into some of these books.  Am I reading to say I'm reading?  Because that's probably not how it should be done, Megggannnnnn...


    Rating scale*:

    1/5 - Hated it, didn't finish.
    2/5 - Tolerated it on principle to finish, didn't like it.
    3/5 - Eh, didn't love it, didn't hate it. Had some good parts/kept me interested/finished it on principle.
    3.5/5 - I liked parts of it.
    4/5 - I liked the whole thing.
    4.5/5 - I liked it a lot, but not sure I'd read it again.
    5/5 - I LURVED it and I'd read it again.

    *Subject to change based on my mood, the phase of the moon, or other unpredictable variables.

    Skimmers, stick with the bold text (TL;DR* parts).
    PS. Possible spoilers included in reviews.


    Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein 3.5/5 (library ebook)I was so determined to read this that I put myself on the hold lists after I didn't read it in time (twice).  But I did finally finish it.  Honestly, this book does a good (even if slanted) job at pointing out the obvious truths that most Americans don't want to face: teenagers are having sex.  Sex to mean, many different types of sex.  Not just penis-in-vagina type sex.  And because adults are ashamed/shy to talk about it, kids/teens are learning from each other which shouldn't be how this shakes out.

    Keep in mind that while Orenstein presents her findings as facts, many other things factor into those facts, so take her truths with a grain of salt.  The girls/women she interviews aren't the voices of everyone.  Yet, many sexual assault victims may identify with the stories, or parts of stories, told by the interviewees.

    TL;DR: Sex is awkward.. if you let it be.  Boys get more pleasure than girls because girls don't speak up about their pleasure (aka it's not as obvious when girls orgasm and it doesn't happen as quickly).  Sexual assault is something that needs to be addressed and NOT by victim shaming.


    Ready Player One by Ernest Cline  3.75/5 (audiobook) 
    This sci-fi book wasn't overly sci-fi due to it's historical nature/obsession with 80s culture and video games. This book is for people who are nostalgic for the 80s and/or played video games of any kind in the 80s. Many of the references were lost on me because I wasn't old enough to have participated in most of the games being played, but I knew of them, which is always nice.

    I kept expecting a twist at the end (maybe I read too many twisty books?) but was pleased with the outcome and that the end of the book didn't shift the spotlight to the lovey plot line.

    TL;DR: A book obsessed with 80s culture set in 2040s doused in gamer-speak with a evil bad guy in real life.


    Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon 3.75/5 (paperback)
    Another easy read by Yoon, which is very delightful. Once I got into it, I was hooked right away. I liked seeing the relationship develop between Maddy and Olly. The book was mostly predictable (having read The Fault in Our Stars) but I did appreciate the twist at the end with the mom. It seemed very anticlimactic considering the effect it had on Maddy's life.

    3.75 instead of 3.5 because it was such an easy read.

    TL;DR: A girl is allergic to the world, but turns out, she isn't.  Oops.


    Ruby Red by Kerstin Gier   2.5/5 (library ebook)
    I wanted to like this book a lot more than I did, but I just felt bored.  By the time we actually got to the action, it turned out to be a setup for a series and that's a pet peeve.  I want some good action during the first book, kthx.  By the end I was finally interested, butttttt I don't want to commit to another series at this time.

    I give this book points for being an easy read.  Final note: This book is actually translated into English, the author is German.

    TL;DR: Is Gwen pregnant?  Is Gwen just stupid?  Nah, it's just a time travel gene. 



    In Progress:

    • The Natural Way of Things by Charlotte Wood  */5 (paperback) 
      • 60 pages in, I questioned finishing this one.  I was tired of being confused.  Things started to get a little bit clearer.  But I'm still asking myself, "Should I stay or should I go now?"
    • Red Rising by Pierce Brown   */5 (audiobook)
      • I was enjoying the Red story.  Then I got bogged down with the Gold transformation.  I'm skeptical about all the killing that is taking place at Gold school.  I've already purchased Golden Son (#2 in the series) and I don't want to have to return it.

    On Deck:

    • Golden Son by Pierce Brown   */5 (audiobook)
      • I already purchased this from Audible since I'd heard I would like it since I saw it on sale.  
    • Outlander 5-9 by Diana Gabaldon  */5 (audiobook) 
      • I gave Teh Mom access to my Audible account so she could listen to the rest of the Outlander series.  I figured between her and Teh WJL they would both finish before me, so I'm giving them a head start, but Teh Mom better be through with book 5 by the time I'm ready to listen in 2-3 months.
    • Once July 1st hits, it's on like Donkey Kong for Erin's Challenge (post to come with my book selections).


    YAY for books!
    *TL;DR = too long, don't read