Monday, October 12, 2020

Weekend Review {10/12}

FRIDAY

I had to set an alarm (GASP) so I could actually wake my ass up and get ready and commute my ass TO WORK.  Oh yes, I went into the office.  It could barely be called a work day, but that's exactly what I did.

Backyard watch team.

FIRST HOODIE OF THE SEASON
Ok, it's actually the 2nd, but this was a DAYTIME hoodie, so I'm counting it as first.
Also, someone besides Husband got to see it.  That matter.

My commute into DC was easy peasy.  The most complicated part was that the garage to my building is closed so I had to figure out where the other garage was.  There had been a vague discussion about it earlier in the week so I knew it wasn't far and I just kinda winged it and it managed to work out.  I only had to ask 1 person for direction and I did validate with security that I was in the correct building.  From there, I relied on my shitty memory of going in for my first day to get to where I was supposed to be and it worked.  I was actually ALMOST there before second guessing myself and asking that one person, but I didn't check the OTHER direction, so I didn't see where I was supposed to be and went back to where I started.  Whatever it's complicated.  I managed.  

FIRST EVER OFFICE SELFIE!!!

One of my coworkers was in the office to check the mail so I got to meet him in person and another coworker was actually coming into the building to manage some other stuff, but swung by to say hi and give me a copy of the relational diagram for our database which made me super pumped.  I had some issues getting all my stuff setup and connected, but thankfully, the IT guy who I met on my first day (who actually remembered me AND my name (riddle me impressed)) was in the cube right across from me, so he was able to help me out.  Once I got everything righted around and we figured out that I had accidentally turned off the power on the power strip under the desk, which was why my coworker couldn't remote into his tablet, I headed back home.  

I stopped and picked up lunch on the way in since I had a meeting as soon as I got in the door.  After my meeting, Teh Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass departed and I could no longer function due to a #BarometerHead situation and took to the couch.  And then I had to get up and go medicate, and then I went back to the couch.  I was to the point that I was nauseous, so it was bad news bears.  After an hour of almost napping, I was able to open my eyes and breathe again without the vomitous feeling.  The rest of the evening was spent on my screens and snuggling with beasties. 



I ended up going to bed at 0100 because I make poor life choices.


SATURDAY

Secret made sure to start barking about whatever the fuck she was barking about at 0620.  I told her to go back to bed.  She continued barking.  I got up and let all the beasts go business and went back to bed.  Then at 0730 or something, the barking started back up again and I yelled at her and she barked and I yelled and she barked and I finally lost my fucking shit on her and screeched like a banshee and she STFU and ran away terrified that her parents had left her with a fucking psycho bitch (she ain't wrong).  I was able to have 15 minutes of peace and I finally got up and fed the assholes breakfast.

Since I was already up, I opted to make my grocery store run to pick up the ingredients we needed for taco soup.  Teh German was leaving Charleston in the AM to deliver Pax and the rest of the dog things and both motorcycles to MD and I knew I wanted to have everything ready for when he arrived.

Ok so, quick story.
When I first came back from GTMO, I went into the grocery store and my mind was blown by ALL THE OPTIONS.  We had a limited supply in GTMO and everyone there accepted it because we didn't have a choice.  I felt like that lady from The Sound of Music who is singing in the fields, except it was me dancing down the multiple aisles of frozen goods.

When I came back from Bahrain, I went into the grocery store and my mind was blown by the comfort of recognizable things.  Mostly, I did my grocery shopping at the market below my flat and at the NEX while I was on base so I didn't have to make a trip out in town to the actual grocery store (Carriefour).  

So anyways, since Teh Bestie moved to northern MD, she's talked about going to Wegman's.  I worked in a grocery store for multiple years while I was in high school.  I get grocery stores.  Obviously, I've been going into them my entire life.  I had never experienced anything like walking into Wegman's.  It was like I had been going to the GTMO commissary my entire life.  Wegman's is like the MECCA of all grocery stores.  I didn't even know.  I thought all grocery stores were created equal.  Turns out, I was fucking WRONG.  

I wanted to just stand there and marvel at all the things.. but then I would have been blocking ingress/egress traffic and I don't do that as a personal mission, so I carried on and picked up my 4 items turned 5, after finding brown cheese that I've been searching for since March 2014 after I met the Prince of Norway at Epcot.  Unfortunately, that Disney brown cheese must have had the special Disney magics, because the brown cheese I had when I got home was not nearly as delicious as I remember it being.

Anyways, before I had went into the grocery store, I called in my breakfast order at Rise, which was across the street.  There are no photos because I forgot that my phone could be used to do anything besides GPS, Disney Emoji Blitz, take dog photos, and group text.  Oops.  I had the blueberry biscuit with sausage and added a fried egg and it was just as fucking delightful as I needed it to be.

I spent the rest of the day playing Throne of Bitches with my bitches (the dogs) and reading Allie Brosh's new book (which I'm still not sure how I feel about).



I did have to make a 2nd trip to the grocery store to pick up some items I had forgotten, but I went to Weis, a peasant grocery store (and by peasant I mean normal grocery store).

Teh German arrived with Moosey-Moose and Bagheera and Lars-Ludwig around 7:45 and we got Pax fed, fed ourselves, then unloaded the trailer of all the things.  After we were finished, we had some screen time, more for Teh German's sake than mine, and decided at 10 that it was bedtime.  I knew this would have consequences in the AM since Secret gets her late night snack at 11 usually, so she'd be hellbent in the AM about waking me up since she'd be starving.  But Teh German had been driving all day, his first long trip with the new trailer AND with Pax and he was tired, so it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.


SUNDAY

Sunday morning started exactly as I expected, with Secret annoying the fuck out of me.  Instead of going banshee on her, I got up and let out all the beasts and fed them.  I knew this would mean extra annoyance in the PM hours, but I just wanted to fucking lay in bed without being harassed for a few more hours... which is exactly what happened.

Teh German and I finally got up around 0915 since he'd wanted to leave earlier so he wouldn't be getting back to Charleston super late.  Our original plan included riding the bikes to brunch, but there was a threat of rain and Teh German said that he'd like to get back home at a decent time, so I acquiesced as I was not the one driving 8 hours, 12 hours after having driven 8 hours to be at a place.  See, I'm not always bad at marriage!

After coffee and breakfast, Teh German headed out and I spent a 2nd day playing Throne of Bitches with my bitches + Pax.  My day consisted of Disney Emoji Blitz and listening to my audiobook and texting with Teh Sister about hip surgery and listening to it rain and snuggling with dogs and being generally lazy AF.


Olive needed to check that my business was going well.

And then she was adorable.

Since I had eaten taco soup for breakfast (keep your judgement to yourself, that shiz is delicious), I really didn't want it for dinner.  So I spent a battery killing amount of time trying to decide what I'd like for dinner and when I noticed that the Cheesecake Factory had pineapple upside down cake cheesecake on the meny, it was easily decided.  

Things I noticed:
1- Doordash charges $1 more on all the menu items than to order on the Cheesecake Factory site for pickup.
2- My driver sat at a place that was NOT Cheesecake Factory for 15 minutes AFTER picking up my order.  I was a little pissed when my food did arrive and it was barely lukewarm.  But it was delicious and I ate like I had never eaten before ever.  

If you don't get the pineapple upside down cake cheesecake, you are wrong.

After dinner was couch time until it was doggy dinner time.  Teh German did call as he got off 26 and he was rather hangry, which I gently pointed out to him after I tried to ask some silly "road trip" questions and he got pissy with me.  I was just trying to keep him entertained, but he wasn't in the mood.. because he hadn't eaten anything but gas station snacks and greek yogurt+apple+nuts all day, but what do I know?  Also, one of the first things he asked me was if there was still a frozen pizza in the freezer, which would indicate that he hadn't eaten and was hungry.  So ya know, I'm a real genius over here.

My evening was spent on my screens, as my day had been spent.  After my phone was almost dead a 2nd time (shut up with your judgement, kthx), I gave it up and moved to the laptop to do something productive with my screentime, like draft this post that I won't be able to write on Monday since it'll be MY turn to drive back to Charleston.

Dog evening looked like this: 

Pax's archnemesis is ANY fly in the house.  He becomes very alligator like with his snappy teeths, which is moderately alarming if you're not expecting it.  This photo is after he missed the fly. 

The Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass came home ALMOST past curfew (looool), but they did manage to make it home on Sunday night after a weekend at Cedar Point.

______________________________________________

I told Teh German that I was glad for a completely lazy, nothing-to-do weekend.  I know that next week is panning out to be extremely busy with packing things and dinner dates.  I did feel bored at points, but I was able to mitigate it enough not to go crazy... and obviously it wasn't that bad if I didn't absolutely HAVE to get out of the house on Sunday to pick up dinner.  /shrug.

I underestimated just how short Teh German's time in MD was going to be, but I did definitely appreciate one night of snuggles.  I spammed Instagram this weekend with all the cute dog photos and I have a secret obsession with scrolling through my own Instagram feed because I'm obsessed with my dogs and I realized that I didn't even realize that the last photos I took of the beasts at home were their last photos in Haus.  It was definitely a sad realization.  Teh German even commented that he was going to be ALL ALONE overnight in the house and that it was going to be weird.  We tried to think back to a time when that had happened before, but we couldn't come up with anything off-hand, although I'm fairly confident that he's had overnights without me or the dogs before, although maybe the tank was around then, so there was at least a fish to keep him company, LOL.

Part of me wishes we'd gotten one last family photo in front of the house, but I know we'll get a new family photo in front of the new MD house.  I think that a photo in front of SC Haus would bring up too many sad memories of leaving our framily behind, so maybe it's best we didn't get one.  

So, in fun news, I'm off work tomorrow, LOOOOL.  I forgot that we are now in the season of holidays every month!  ANNNDDDDD now I get all these holidays off AND PAID and it doesn't come out of my PTO!  I'd say it's the small things, but that's fucking huge.

In addition to being off, it's also Sandy's 8th birthday!  That doesn't seem like old lady age, but for a big dog, that's elderly AF, especially when your Mahm doesn't know your past-life and expected you to die a few months ago since you were supposed to be a hospice foster, each day is a cherished day.  

That said, Sandra is obviously no longer a hospice dog, much less a foster.  I'm not looking forward to the day that we have to make any hard decisions for her, but I will do that for her because she's shown me strength and perseverance and determination since May.  She's shown me that old ladies are full of surprises and do best when given LOTS of delicious treats (preferably freeze dried chicken hearts and beef lung pieces), plenty of space on the couch, and allowed to drag you down the street at a full on sprint because she's feelin' sassy.


Floofus snuggles melt my heart.


Happy Birthday to my Sandra Dee,
These past 5.5 months have been... interesting.  You don't know the strife that it caused when I insisted on bringing you home.  We are not a 3-dog family, but apparently we are now, even if it's definitely temporary.  But no matter what happened before you arrived, all of the strife was absolutely worth it.  I am sorry that your family decided that they didn't want you anymore because you are everything I didn't know I needed + a little more stress that is slightly unnecessary but I'll manage because you are the bestest floofiest old lady that I've ever met.  I know they loved you at some point because you sit and shake like a champ.  You are never shy about what you need, be that to go outside or play time with Mahm and Dad or extra snacks.  I'm so glad that your strength has returned and I'm much less worried about your shuffles these days, as you get around just fuckin' fine, thank you very much.  I know you don't really love strangers, but you were a champ with all the stranger danger at the going away gathering and for that, I love you extra.  Thank you for being my umbilical cord dog, even if I get frustrated sometimes.  Despite not being a 3-dog family, I hope you're around for as many more years as you'll give me.  

Love, 
Your Mahm

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Five on Friday #244

EINS - Random Shit

Unless I really like you, if you ask me "When are you moving out?" I will literally walk away from you... especially if I've told you we close on 30 OCT.  This is my fucking house until then.  MINE.  No you may not come in the day prior to closing and set up your wifi.  GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT.

Who the fuck asks if they can come in the day prior to do move-in things?  How fucking rude.  Again, these are all things I'd never ask anyone for if I was buying their house.  Does it suck to have to wait? 100% yes.  Is that the way it fucking works?  100% yes.  I couldn't even get estimates for a fence for our house until we closed.  Contractors wouldn't come out once they heard Dan Ryan still owned the house.  It was over 3 weeks after we closed that our fence was put in, because even though we got someone to come do an estimate, NO paperwork could be filed until we closed and that shit takes time.

So guess fucking what.  We had to wait.  YOU WILL ALSO WAIT.
Later our realtor said she thinks maybe they have kids that are doing virtual school and I should have said, "They still have THEIR HOUSE with THEIR INTERNET.  What the fuck is the problem?"  Instead, I said, "No, they cannot come early to set up wifi that only take 20 minutes."

________________________________________


I'd say moving on, but definitely didn't happen.

The above situation later escalated QUICKLY when our agent said the buyers were no longer ok with us repairing the drip pan because it might void their home warranty that we purchased for them.  She sent me some image of the warranty details with the line regarding the "condensation unit pad" being highlighted.

Yall, I'm not a fucking genius, but "condensation unit pad" and "drip pan" don't sound the same.  Soooo, I took to the googly and searched for "condensation unit pad" because I've seen a drip pan.  It's the fucking slab under the outside HVAC unit.  So NO WHERE did the warranty say anything about the drip/drain pan. 

During this text exchange, Teh German pulled out his inner Papa G and said it was very unprofessional to be texting about all these matters.  This was all fine until SHE CALLED ME because her texting was unprofessional.  I was ready to fucking kill him.  And of course, he's still upstairs working so it wasn't like I could go throw my phone at his head (I didn't want to be the subject of scorn, kthx).  You see, Teh German has been handling many of the text situations because he knows our agent makes me get my hackles up.  Just seeing the notification that I have a text from her makes me go rigid and my shoulders rise to my ears and I'm instantly angry.  So that has been a nice reprieve that he just handles it, usually while also texting me (since we're both in our work spaces which are not within speaking distance).

So she calls me to discuss this situation.  She offers to pay for a professional to come out and inspect our repair work.  I said that was fine, but what if the professional said it wasn't fine.  Then I'd already be out what I'd spent to repair it and my time fixing it, so there was NO WAY I'd be replacing it at that point. 

But the underlying problem was this:
EVERYONE ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT stating that we could repair it and it was fine.

Let me reiterate any part of that statement that was unclear: THE BUYERS ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT REGARDING THIS DECISION.  THE SELLERS (us) HAD AGREED TO THE DECISION AND SIGNED A CONTRACT STATING SUCH.

To come back after the fact when you have regrets and try to renegotiate?  AW HELL NO.
Maybe this is one of those "just the way things are", but based on the reactions of individuals I was sharing this drama with, it is not, this is just actual fuckary.

I explained that when we agreed to the last contract, it was because we were done with negotiating.  I agreed to selling our washer/dryer for cheaper and cleaning the carpets and repairing the drip pan to be done with negotiating.  I stated that we had been nice and flexible about everything to this point.  We let them come view the house a 2nd time (even after they put in their offer (still weird)), we are leaving them a list of apps for the smart home things, we are leaving all the documentation associated with anything related to the house, we had agreed to do the repairs the inspector THEY HIRED had suggested we do, we sold our washer/dryer to them so they didn't have to wait on something that was backordered, we are leaving all the etc house maintenance/repair things (extra carpet, paint, trim), we let in BOTH their appraisal persons after they switched lenders for the 3rd time, and we were willing to renegotiate the contract the first time around without issue, but I (we) were DONE.  They are asking for shit I'd NEVER ask for as a buyer.  After my offer was accepted and the terms were agreed on, that's that.  As a buyer, I wait for closing, that's how it works.  I would never try to renegotiate terms that had already been agreed on and a contract had been SIGNED.  That's not how it works.  Personally, I feel like they are trying to put us out of our home, WHICH IS STILL IS, with all these requests. 

I think it was when I told our agent, verbatim, "I leave for Barbados on the 17th.  If anyone dares comes at me with ANYTHING related to negotiating or house selling or when I'm moving out, I will call their agent, whose card is on my island, and tell her and her clients to go fuck themselves," that she understood I was DONE with this shit. 

Ultimately, the agents agreed to split the cost of replacing the drip pan themselves.  I'm sure that'll be rough to pay with the $18k they are splitting from our sale.

As I told Teh Bestie, I don't HAVE to sell my house.  I'm not in a hurry.  Would it be nice to move forward?  Yes.  But I'm 

________________________________________


2020, the year I said, FUCK YOU to all irritants tags.

For real.  From my wash cloths (why did I even leave tags on those anyways?) to my shirts.  If it has a tag that won't lay flat or irritates me in any way, IT FUCKING GOES.  It's a release every time I cut one off or rip it out.  Like my brain sighs. 

And I do question why I've always left the tags.  For my clothes it is so I can go back and reference what size the item was if I like the way it fit and I order another from the same brand.  As for linens/towels/etc.  I have NO idea.

Actually, I have a figment of an idea.  When I was a kid, I had a comforter with a tag on it that said, "ONLY TO BE REMOVED BY CONSUMER," and I was like 8 or something and I knew I wasn't "CONSUMER" (nor did I know what "consumer" was).  That line was followed by, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law," which I assessed to mean, I'd go to jail for removing the tag.  And so, I just dealt with the annoying ass tag and used it as a means of determining which end was "up" (which is also absolutely ludacris in relation to a blanket that can be flipped and flopped).

But it is so liberating to be free of itchy/annoying tags!

________________________________________


Dear Google,
Ludacris was a WORD before it was a NAME.  GTFO of here with your suggestion to capitalize the word so it is spelled correctly. DAFUQ is wrong with you?

________________________________________


I did my first GEGR Applicant interview(s) this weekend and it was awesome.  I would totally do it again, even though it required effort and me talking to strangers.  The family I interviewed totally needs a greyhound and I want to be their friends, not just because the greyhound thing, but also because they are runners and they were awesome when I spoke with them.

________________________________________


I posted that link about viewing Blogger with the legacy view last week.. and now it no longer works.  FUCK YOU BLOGGER.

________________________________________


Oh, you guys thought the house strife was over for the week?
IT WAS FUCKING NOT.

After dealing with the drip pan debacle, we were informed that the house only appraised at 298k.  I mean, we weren't far off asking for 300k, in that regard, and people pay over appraisal value all the time, but they wanted us to cover 6k of their closing costs and our agent suggested we up the price to 304k and then it was only 2k coming out of our pockets and they'd pay the 4k on the backend of their home loan (i.e. shit that is not my fucking problem).

Our agent was angry about it and challenged it and we've yet to hear back from the bank, despite being told we'd know by Thursday.  Our agent claims that they used comps that were not similar to our house, which is logical.  

In various conversations with multiple people, 4 individuals had suggested that the bank didn't want them to get the loan and informed said appraiser of such information and thus the appraisal value being what it is.  This was after we learned that the buyers couldn't afford to pay ANY amount of money out of pocket.  Later, our agent informed us of different details (as she has done multiple times throughout this whole fucking disaster), but our opinions were not changed.

It was a hard discussion to have, but Teh German and I talked about our bottom line.  We have never wanted to pay their closing costs, but swallowed the "that's just how it is" pill with the cost adjustment.  I won't even lie, I'm the queen of petty hill right now because of the shit that went down on Monday over a signed motherfucking contract, and I'm not overly sympathetic to your situation when..

ONE- We will be buying our own house in the next few months.  I NEED MY FUCKING MONEY.  Yes, it's "only" a "few" thousand dollars, compared to whatever the total number is we walk away with, but the place we are moving to is DOUBLE the price of Charleston, that is not an exaggeration, that is not me being dramatic, that is the TRUTH.  

TWO- I refuse to pay you to buy my stuff.  That's not how selling things fucking works, no matter what any sales(wo)man tells me.  I learned that lesson the hard way when selling my Civic in Bahrain and the guy tried to tell me I was paying for his car insurance for the upcoming year (since it had to be paid in advance) as we were on our way to handle the paperwork at the Bahrain DMV equivalent and I absolutely refused.  Then he couldn't scramble to get all the money and I ended up having to pay for some of his insurance because otherwise I'd be stuck with a car that I couldn't get back to the US since that ship had sailed (literally).

THREE- If you can't afford something, i.e. a 300k house, you shouldn't be buying it.  This IS what I know about how this whole house buying process works...  If you are in the market for a house, you should have a down-payment or an option for the least amount of penalty for the least amount of money down.  If you are penalized in all the ways because you can't afford a down-payment, then it is not time.  Save some money, come back to the table later.  In addition to not having a down-payment and then having ZERO dollars to put down towards the closing costs and expecting the seller to pay them for you/have to accept a higher price to have them covered on your loan?  UNACCEPTABLE.  

I say all these things having only ever purchased new construction.  There was NO negotiation.  We covered ALL the costs.  So this idea of the seller covering the buyer's costs absolutely incenses me.

________________________________________


Oh yeah.. and it gets even better.  Within a few hours of our agent informing us the appraisal value was lower than the agreed upon price, I started receiving emails from a lawyer and Navy Federal congratulating us on being under contract for the house.

The phone conversation I had went like this:
Me: Hello, this is Megan.
Navy Fed Person: Hi, Ms. Gerlings, this is blah blah from Navy Fed and we heard that your house is under contract, congratulations!
Me: Uhhh.. awkward since we were just informed that the house didn't appraise at our agreed on price and now we're having to renegotiate this crap.
Navy Fed Person: Uhhh.
Me: Yeah, this isn't a good time.
Navy Fed Person: Ok, I can just email you!
Me: That's probably best.

Megan, being Queen of the Awkward, since 1986.

________________________________________


Jamie the Very Worst (formerly: Missionary) posted something in September that popped up on my Feedly and when I went to her site to reference it, it didn't exist.  This makes me extremely sad because the post was absolutely everything I didn't know I needed and I wanted to share it, but it doesn't actually exist on the internet.  Well, it does, but only because I emailed it to myself from my Feedly, but I can't actually share the link and tell you to read it because it's not on her site and I'm not going to post it here because that's stealing and I'm not down with that.  I keep hoping it will eventually get posted on her site, but I haven't seen it yet and that makes me sad.

________________________________________


I've been incrdibly stupid this week.  That's not a euphimism for anything, it's the truth.  Here's the situations that helped make this assessment accurate:

Monday morning: 


I ordered new collars for Sandy for her birthday (Oct 12th) and they arrived last week.  I put them on her Monday since I had given her a bath... but her martingale wouldn't fit, despite my adjustments.  I messaged the seller to explain that I loved the collars, but one wouldn't fit and she said, the collars are the same size, then started to explain the process of adjusting them... and I realized I hadn't adjusted the collar to make it bigger... but smaller.

Yall, I've been adjusting dog collars for a REALLY LONG TIME.  I didn't even think to go the other way.  /facepalm times infinity.

Monday evening: 
While talking to my GEGR interviewee, he said, "My wife is a cancer."  My brain immediately was like, "WTF?  Is she trying to KILL him?  Who says that about their spouse!?!"  And then I tuned back in to hear him saying, "She's loyal and caring and loving..." and I interrupted with a, "OMG, I GET IT!  You mean astrology cancer, not abnormal cell growth cancer!"  He was so stunned and I was laughing so hard and we cackled together.

Tuesday at lunch:
I decided to make dinner for lunch so I didn't have to cook dinner, this is a new thing we've been doing.  I like it.  Anyways, I was cooking a PF Chang's frozen bag dinner and couldn't figure out why the food wasn't cooking properly.  Then I realized.. I was using the double burner.. for a triple burner pan.  


Yall, Jesus needed to take my wheel.  I was a mess.



ZWEI - Money Shit

-all the packing things.  Ugh.  At least the boxes were free.
-new running shoes.  My knees were hurting, I couldn't do it anymore.
-Allie Brosh's new book, which I would have preordered if she hadn't already fucked me once, so I didn't preorder it this time, just in case it didn't come out... again.
-More packing shit.
-Travel meals
-dog/political shirt
-Grocery stuff in MD for taco soup.
-Halls


DREI - From My Phone Shit

This toy did not make it.

I won 3rd place during my last Former Company Disney Trivia night and winners received a mask with their favorite character.  I was super pumped about it, until I put on the mask and realized how bad it sucks.  Siiiiigh..

The dog cabinet was emptied to make the journey up to MD.

The temp when I arrived to MD.
(insert all the praise hands emojis here)

First official day working in the office... even though it was only for a few hours and then I went home and did more work things.


DOGS.

The cutest head tilt.

How is she comfortable?  One will never know.

Shortly thereafter followed by this position, which included a head slamming against the floor.

This guy only got ONE bully stick and he was upset about it, so he came to me for consoling.

The cutest little Monkey-Doodle you ever did see.

When ALL the girls HAVE to sit together.  Preferably ON TOP of each other.
Facepalm for days.

This goof.  He makes me lol.

Sometimes, you are your Wuff's chair.

Bitches on the move!

New neighborhood patrol duties!

Old lady snoozes.



VIER - From the Internet Shit

BE FUCKING BETTER.
I said this prior to COVID.
I'll continue to say it now.
BE BETTER.


FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. Being so emotionally drained by Monday's re-negotiation debacle that the punches from later in the week were barely nudges.
  2. Being on the same page with Teh German and talks after the lights are out.
  3. Alexa playing certain songs on repeat without judgment.  That bitch still can't hear tho.
  4. A solid audiobook for my drive to MD.
  5. Going into the office and getting to meet 2 of my coworkers face to face.  It's the little things these days.
  6. A Christmas amount of packages waiting for my arrival in MD (my running shoes and book and new employee mail things).
  7. Cute dogs.
  8. Packing 4 boxes.
  9. #BarometerHead meds kicking in quickly (by quickly, I mean, I could minimally function within the hour).
  10. Getting the beasts moved up to MD.  As sad as I will be to drive away without my fur-therapy, I know that it will be easier this way.

Happy Friday Saturday, Gentle Readers.




Monday, October 5, 2020

Weekend Review {10/5}

FRIDAY

Friday was eventful.

The POD arrived.  "Work" things ("" because there's not much to do besides sit at the computer).  Meri and Sandy snuggled together for well over 30 minutes, which blew my mind.  Then after my morning meeting, I was searching on Marketplace and saw a post from an hour prior that someone was giving away free boxes and so I hauled my ass over there ASAP and picked up as many boxes as Willow could fit and came home and did more "work".




In the evening, Teh German and I went to California Dreaming for dinner because they had a reservation available at 7:15 and that meant I didn't have to continue looking for dinner options.  Teh German agreed to this plan.


The two things I was most looking forward to was a Dr. Pepper martini and the croissants.  And the server informed me right away that they were out of Dr. Pepper.  HHHHAAATTTEEEE.  Much rudes.  I looked up the recipe for the drink online and none of the recipes I found actually contain Dr. Pepper so maybe I should have pushed it, but I didn't.  We came home and I crawled into bed for scrollin' time until it was sleepy time.


SATURDAY

Saturday was kinda eventful.  In the morning, Teh German went to cars and coffee.  I did a GEGR applicant interview (my first one and it was kinda fun).  After the interview, Teh PT Wife and I headed to Halls for bison filet for lunch/dinner which was fabulous (the company more than the food, which is a tough competition).  After Halls we went by BJ's to pick up some items and then headed back home.

What you can't hear is me having a mouthgasm with every bite I took,
but I'm going to let you imagine that.

The afternoon was mostly just "cleaning" the house for the going away gathering in the evening and dog snuggles.





I took no photos because I was busy socializing, but we had a final gathering at Teh Ville.  It was bittersweet because it was all of our people in one place for the last time.  It was fantastic getting to see everyone, even if it was to say, "See ya later."  I do want to note that Sandy really struggles with stranger danger in our house and usually feels the need to be attached to me when strangers come in.  She was on high alert ALL NIGHT LONG and I had to send her to a bed multiple times so she'd lay down because her rear was saggin'.  Thankfully, she knew that I wasn't punishing her and she would stay in the bed for as long as she could see me.  When I went outside, so did she and she'd lay down in the grass where she could see me.

It was 0030 when we finally headed to bed and 0100 when I put my phone down.  I'm too old for that.

SUNDAY

I woke up at 0800 on Sunday after sending Meri back to bed once.  I got up and let the dogs out and fed them breakfast, which Sandra refused.  I assumed it had a lot to do with being overwhelmed the night before and I have no idea if people were feeding the dogs chips/bbq from the buffet.  Rather than ask them not to feed the dogs, I just didn't even mention it and hoped that it meant people would just KNOW not to feed the dogs.  It wasn't a battle I wanted to fight, so I just didn't.  If they got fed, they got fed.  It is what it is. 

When I went upstairs, I noticed that someone (PAX) had been having a LOT of fun and knocked over my Willow Tree figurines with a stuffie.  I remembered yelling at them the day prior after I heard a ruckus, but I hadn't been upstairs to notice when there was light, so I hadn't seen it.  I will say I loled a bit. 


We met Teh Neighbor Besties at Holy City Brewing for brunch (because I needed one last chicken and waffles).  We had to be home by 1:30 since someone was coming to purchase the tank (also bittersweet).  I never love-loved the tank, but I did enjoy it being in the house.  It was SUPER quiet after it was all removed.

While the tank evacuation was taking place, I worked on some minor packing things.  I went through the DVDs and purged and packed the ones I want to keep.  I put all the Willow Tree figurines in their boxes.  I'm debating if I want to try to sell some of the stuff I separated out or just donate it and be done with it.



I also went through the closet and purged some shit.  A small portion of that box was already bagged for donation, but 95% of this was stuff I decided to let go.  It was difficult.  Things I was not able to let go: 99% of my hoodies.  I think I put one in the donation pile and I didn't really love it.  I tried to be very clear cut about, "Do you love this?  Like LOVELOVE it?"  If I didn't LOVELOVE it and would only wear it to say I wore it so it wouldn't get donate, then it had to go.


After Teh German finished with tank things, he deemed it screen time.  I didn't want to push him (yet) about packing things/going through his stuff, so I let it go.  I separated more stuff for sell?/donate and then listened to my audiobook and played Disney Emoji Blitz while laying on a pile of comforters in a closet.  Was it kinda weird?  Yes.  Did I love it?  Yes.

Also, I'm super sad that I'm about halfway through my book and it's gonna get stolen back from the library before I finish and there's a waitlist so I can't renew it.  /sob.  #MeganProblems.

We had leftovers for dinner and then watched Silicon Valley until it was (past) bedtime.

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A fantastic weekend!  Teh German and I had a date night where we talked about moving things and I finally got to hang out with Teh PT Wife and we had bison filet and we got to see all our people before we go (with the exception of those who have scheduled dinner plans with us). 

This week is when the moving ball really starts rolling.  I'm headed to MD with Sandy and Meri on Thursday.  Teh German will join with Pax and Lars-Ludwig and Bagheera on Saturday.  He will go home on Sunday, I will go home on Monday/Tuesday.  I/we will be dog sitting for Teh Bestie/Teh Chief Smartass while they are away for the weekend.  This worked out well since we needed to get the dogs up to MD after they agreed to watch the beasts while we're in Barbados and this eliminated their need for a dog sitter while they are gone.  Also, I will be going into the office on Friday for some things, which is should be a good time.

When I get back to SC, the packing will truly begin.  Without the dogs here, it's less hassle to have things moved around/out.  We will leave for Barbados on the 17th and return on the 24/25th (depending on the situation with American Airlines who have informed us that our flight from Miami to Charleston was cancelled).  After we get back, we will finish any packing for the POD and then pack up our trailer and migrate north for good.

Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.  I mean, I know it won't and expect no less than 3 breakdowns between now and 30Oct when we're set to close, at least 1 caused by our realtor who makes me have a visceral response anytime she texts us.  #JesusTakeTheWheel.

We got this.
Remember when it was only March and now it's October?  Crazy right?!

Friday, October 2, 2020

Five on Friday #243

EINS - Random Shit

Steph posted this last week and it's everything I haven't been able to put into words for YEARS.

What exactly do we mean when we say Make America Great Again? To return to our lips not coming near the same water fountains, our asses not sitting on the same seats, our kids not going to the same schools, our neighborhoods staying lily white, red lining, Jim Crow, Black bodies being used and discarded, Black labor being valued differently? Was America great in those times? What time do we want to go back to when America was great? The entire time we've been racist since the beginning? The incredible horror we've inflicted on the native people and the land? The time when we fought World War II against fascism? Wait, people are against Antifa now, which essentially means being in support of fascism, so that can't be right. It seems like we want to go back to women dying from back alley abortions too. Is that the time? All of the above times? I don't have enough expletives right now. And to quote something I saw on the Internet last night, fuck off I'm not leaving just because it's unjust and fucked up here. There is work to be done. We cannot change the past but we sure as FUCK should not be going back to any time in it because America was NEVER great for ALL of her people. Act right and stop saying Make America Great Again. Your racism is showing. Work to build a better tomorrow for EVERYONE instead. No fucking exceptions. To see how many white people are invested in upholding this system that disproportionately benefits them, read any comment section on the Internet. The longer we hold on to old ways designed to keep a foot on the neck of Black people (read a book, the criminal justice system was literally designed to do this, and modern day police themselves were born from slave catchers-we need to start ENTIRELY OVER), the more the unrest grows and makes everyone less safe. Change is needed for the well being of Black people, brown people, white people, and police of every color.


THIS.  ALL OF THE THIS.

YOUR RACISM IS SHOWING. 
There's nothing you can say to change my mind on this.  There is no meme you can share to make me laugh at this.  And if you support a president who encourages the division of a nation and enables some to openly air their racist opinions and hatred, then you are part of the problem.  This is me saying if you vote for Trump in 2020, you're a racist.  Maybe it wasn't super clear in 2016, but it's super clear now and there is absolutely ZERO excuse.

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Apparently, getting older and being an adult means waking up earlier to do shit.  And I don't mean like work shit, I mean like personal shit.  I.e.: Exercise, chores, bathe the dogs.  Things that you know have to be accomplished, but also know that at the end of the day, you do not want to deal with it.

It's crazy how much shit I sometimes accomplish before I sit down at my desk at 0830 (sometimes earlier, sometimes later, get up off me) to start doing work things.

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If you hate new Blogger and need Legacy for your sanity, let me help you.

  1. Copy this link into the address bar:
    https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=#######&useLegacyBlogger=true#allposts
  2. In another tab, sign into Blogger.  In the address bar, copy that super long number at the end of the URL.  
  3. Replace the ###### with that super long number you just copied.
  4. Hit enter/return.
You are welcome.  I do not know how long this leet hack will work, but you better believe I'll be using it for as long as possible.  Also, fuck the new template.

Hate, hate, hate.  Loathe entirely.

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All yall iOS-ers who just had your eyes opened to the marvel of widgets are making me LOL.  Android has had widgets forever.  They are fabulous.  Welcome to like.. 2010 or something.

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I didn't watch the debate.  I have ZERO regrets.  My mental health and good sleeps are way more important to me than watching something I can skim highlights about the next day if I choose to.  I mostly chose NOT to.  I'm not sorry.  I didn't anticipate anything significant or life changing would come out of the debate and it was exactly the horse and pony show that it was expected to be, based on what I saw online the following morning.

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I have 3 different banks that I use.  It's stupid, but I'm stubborn.  I got paid at some point and decided to set up my allotments and decided to switch my savings account bank money to the same bank we have the house account with.  This is all fun and games until I'm trying to move money between accounts.

So anyways, now I have FOUR PayPal accounts, ya know, in case you needed to confirm that I am truly, 100% ridiculous.  Also, setting up new accounts takes time and Jesus needed to take the wheel on that since I'm super impatient.  So I put in no less than 20949293492 confirmation numbers and still I could not transfer money.  Also, the House account bank created 2 checking accounts from my one request and when I called to get one closed I was told I'd have to call back after 24 hours since the system needs time to process.  /facepalmfordays.

I still haven't been able to successfully transfer the money from Paypal into the new account, but it's a work in progress.  Really, why is this so difficult?  And I could have paid for a wire transfer of all the funds, but why deal with that when I can do it for free between my 6 millionty Paypal accounts?

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Look, Gentle Readers, I have a SERIOUS problem with using the last of anything.  I have trained myself to replace things before we get to the last one of anything so that way we don't run out of things.  This is not a good method when you are moving.  This way ensures you have more shit to move and that's really the pits.

So I went to the grocery store to pick up a few necessities like eggs, which I eat for breakfast, ok, gosh.. and some Halloween candy to be used for smores instead of just having chocolate bars.  There were so many items I was like, Oo I could pick up this and this and this and had to FORCE myself NOT to grab those items.  Transition is hard.

In addition to saying no at the grocery store, I've been telling myself no about picking up food when I'm out of the house because I'm always tempted when I leave the house to "treat myself".  Not only did we have leftovers at home since I'd cooked consistently this week and it was actually pretty good, but eating out means leftovers last longer, which means I don't need to cook as much, which means food is in our house still when we move out.

Soooo, in making an effort NOT to eat out as a "get out of the house, treat yoself", I am in turn, forcing myself to 1- save money, 2- eat the food at home, 3- forcing myself to cook, all of which means that there will be less food in the house to transport when we finally leave.  It's a long and winding road, thanks for taking it with me.

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When your Bestie asks you to pick up some Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer for her from the outlet before you leave Charleston and you go to the website and see they offer things online and then you both go down a rabbit hole, and you finally have this exchange:


We love who we love, loooool.

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It's a common cybersecurity mechanism to lock a computer after there is no activity for a certain period of time.  This, unfortunately, makes you go offline.  Soooo.. I've learned to play YouTube videos when I am AFK so I do not go offline when my computer locks.  This wouldn't be an issue if Skype for Business wasn't the way it is and/or if I could download it for my phone and actually be able to sign in.

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Teh German did a thing!



With the money he made from selling Suzi and the Bobber and the former trailer, Teh German upgraded Teh Ville with a new covered trailer!  This will make hauling the bikes MUCH better because we won't be AS paranoid that someone is going to steal them AND if we go somewhere there is no covered storage, we will have brought our own covered storage with us.

IN ADDITION... the trailer will be used for storage purposes while we are living with Teh Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass.  This is a decision Teh German has been researching for quite a while now, so him finally pulling the trigger is nice.

I also want to note that he had me come outside to "help" him back it inside the fence and he managed to get it in on the FIRST try.  The only assistance I really offered was telling him when to stop backing up so he didn't run over the HVAC.

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I was about to start researching where to purchase moving boxes and did a quick marketplace search (on Teh German's acct, don't be foolish) and saw that someone had posted a LOT of boxes outside of a business for freeizzle within the hour.  You better bet I high-tailed it right the fuck over there and filled up Willow like a boss.


Teh German informed me that they are kinda small and I explained to him the larger the box the heavier it is to move.  Also, most of these boxes are the same size, which is super helpful when it comes time to Tetris the shit out of the POD.

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Speaking of the POD.  It arrived today.


Teh German and I both watched with wonder while the POD was unloaded off the truck with a portable crane which almost literally blew our minds.  We had been curious how it was going to be moved and we found out.  Also, how cool is a portable crane?  Engineering is marvelous!

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Pulled out my tech writer skillz to create a standard document for the GEGR application reviewers to fill out since the current process is a bit finicky.  AND THEN my people let me down and didn't even seem to care that I did it so fabulously!  Siiiiiiiiiigh.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I won't lie.  It felt good to do that kind of editing.

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I've been given some long term research goals for our department.  It's kinda scary because it's not a subject I'm deeply educated in so it will require some learning.  But at the same time, it is a SUPER interesting subject for me, so that shouldn't be difficult.

Also, I'm that nerd that is legitimately interested in data and making it work for the user.  I get EXCITED about the data and learning it and using it and I really think my new coworkers underestimated my passion.  While training with one of my coworkers this week, I explained to him that I really enjoyed learning about the stuff he works on and that I wasn't even kissing his ass, I had a REAL interest in the system and making it better and trying to find ways to implement the suggestions he makes since he's the primary user who manipulates the data.

Also, I discovered a data dictionary Thursday and it details all the attributes in the key tables and I almost jizzed my pants I was so jazzed about it.  If none of that meant anything to you, let me translate: I found some nerdy shit that made me excited.

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Because of all the weird race deferrals, I have NO idea what races I'm still signed up for or what has been deferred.  Particularly all of the Rock n Roll races I signed up for, which is super annoying since that was a LOT of dollas.

Also, I had to give my running spreadsheet a facelift since I will no longer be in Charleston next year for local races, I went ahead and deleted those that were tentative sign ups.  I'll be seeking out DC/MD races, if they are held.

This is all because Charleston Marathon announced that the race in January will be virtual.  This makes me happy and sad.  Happy that I won't have to coordinate coming back for the race, sad because I won't have a reason to come to CHS for the race.  BOOOOOOOOO.  Also, I'm not overly excited about the medal or the rest of the package.  They are including a River Dogs (baseball) ticket.  Guess what I'll never fucking use.  A baseball ticket.  Ugh.

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My knees have started to hurt when I run.  Any distance.  This is an indicator that I need new running shoes.  Things I do not want to have to buy: New running shoes.  It feels like I just bought new running shoes... and then I remember that I ran almost 100 miles in June and that kinda explains why I might need new shoes.  Le siiiiiigh.



ZWEI - Money Shit

-Dog shampoo for Sandy... again
-Dog food when I realized my autoship was delayed because my scheduling considerations were unrealistic
-Willow maintenance
-minimal groceries.  Absolute necessities: eggs and candy for the gathering on Saturday.
-Thanksgiving day 5k with Teh Bestie and Teh MD Native.


DREI - From My Phone Shit

When your Bestie goes AWOL and Googly says she's at home and she's not responding to any of your correspondence (work emails or texts) and so you message her on the hour for a while, then every few hours.. and then you finally decide that if she doesn't respond by dinnertime, you'll reach out to her people because ZERO TO DOOM is literally the way my brain works.

Full Paper Jacket for my lady bits appointment.
Also, if you are one of those people who is miserable and shy about getting your privates medically inspected, it's time to get over it.  Your business ain't nothin' they ain't seen before.  Slide all the way down and spread em and get it over with while laughing because life is short and ain't nobody got time for unnecessary misery.

Someone is texting my work phone like they know me.
They do not know me, nor do I know them.
And now it's been so long that I don't know how to tell them that I am not the person they are looking for.
Also, what horrible person didn't tell them that they changed their number if they were close enough to get relative updates?!


VIER - Dogs (aka I don't feel like searching the internet cesspool for entertainment)

He's so goofy/

Office situation: Meri on the couch, Sandy on the bed, Pax on a couch

This makes me tense up every time (because I'm always afraid Meri is gonna be snarky) but it melts my heart so much.

How to lure an old lady into eating her noms.

A day in the life of Paximoose:






For real, all of ^^ those photos were from the same day.  He, truly, wants you to understand how hard his life is.  The ruffest of the RUFF!

Be still...

...my heart.

When Meri steals your regular spot and you're forced to snuggle with Mahm and Mahm is afraid she's going to die on the couch because she refuses to get up until after you do and you're definitely not getting up.

Friday morning office situation. /swoon.


FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week


  1. Free motherfuckin' boxes.  
  2. 2 runs this week, which also meant 2 dog walking sessions this week.
  3. Sandy RUNNING ME 1/3 of her route home.  She'd have ran me 1/2 of the route if I had been able to keep up with her galloping, but it was just too much.
  4. That salmon I cooked on Tuesday.  It was so delicious and teleworking = heating up fish leftovers and no one bitching about it.
  5. Getting assigned my first GEGR application to process.
  6. NOT watching the debate.
  7. Hosting a gathering.  Yes, even though it's during a pandemic.  I'm mildly stressed about that, but the payoff will be that we get to see our people before we leave.
  8. NOT eating out despite many opportunities.  1- we're going out this weekend.  2- forced to cook.  3- $$ saved.  #AdultingFuckingMaster
  9. Scheduling dinners with people who we won't see on Saturday.
  10. Leftover birthday cake from Meri's birthday last weekend with lemon icing.




Happy Friday, Gentle Readers!