Showing posts with label Psalms 46:10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psalms 46:10. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2015

Weekend Review {2/2}

IT'S FEBRUARY!!!!!!  The month we've all been waiting for!  You know why?  (Shh, it's about me right now.)  IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!  In case you were wondering, my birthday is the 3rd.  Oh, and yes, I have an amazon wish list.  :)

Let's talk about this weekend though, shall we?
PS. This is a long post, consider yourself warned.

FRIDAY

Work kinda dragged on and on Friday.  Mostly because starting Wednesday morning I had ZERO desire to get out of the bed when my alarm went off, which continued through.. today.  Every time I started to get really into doing work things, I'd get a message or I'd need to change my Spotify song, or I'd get distracted and ugh, it was irritating.  Mr. Scrooge met me for lunch since we have a food truck (several trucks rotate through on a schedule) a short walk from my building.  This was cajun food, so my food was a bit too spicy for me to really enjoy, but I toughed it out.

When Mr. Scrooge left, I buckled down and turned off all the ways to get messages, sans the work ways.  In reality, this is my biggest ADD source.  The tech guys like to send messages to the group instead of just to each other so they can get feedback from anyone who knows about the issue.  My problem is that my job has nothing to do with their job so all day I get to listen to Skype binks (the notification noise) and it's unbearably distracting to me.  I'd turn it off, but what if I get a message and I don't see it?  Ugh.

Also, since Spotify has really become a source of ADD, I found a deep focus playlist and I rocked on with my documentation.  Explosions in the Sky is probably one of my favorite no-lyrics artists.  Despite having done some work on Thursday night (I never thought I'd be the person that brings work home with me, FYI), I still stayed my full 8 hours.  I left and hit up the gym on my way home (for the 5th time last week, woot!).

When I got home, it was dinner time.  I'd put a beef roast in the crockpot before leaving for work so I didn't have to worry about dinner.  Since we had leftover pasta, I reheated that, and we had leftover spinach from chicken and gnocchi soup last week, so a salad was our veggie.  Lazy, aye.

After we ate, Mr. Scrooge played video games and I played on Teh Flamin' Kindle (which I often refer to as my Nook, oops).  We managed to coax the dogs Phil (since Meri was already with us) up on the couch and we had some family snuggle time which just melted my heart.  I also talked with Teh MD Adult Roomie about going to Greyhounds in Gettysburg (GIG) in April.  YAY GIG!!!


Mr. Scrooge said that we could go for the entire weekend, which is super awesome for me because I've always wanted to go and never did when I lived in MD (aka, when it was MUCH closer than it is from SC. /facepalm).  His reasoning is because he loves old shit, which is fine with me because I, too, love old shit, and I definitely want to do some battlegrounds walks and hang out with my dog peeps and meet some of my instagram friends/followers in real life (yep, I'm a nerd).

Mr. Scrooge ended up going to bed before me, which meant I had some alone time (aka the tv wasn't on so I could focus) to finally catch up on Wednesday Confessions and comment on everyone else's posts.  After closing all my open tabs, it was bedtime.


SATURDAY

Mr. Scrooge and I slept in, which was delightful.  Of course, a little after 9, Meri joined us in bed, as is her rule.  We then coaxed Phil up on the bed too and had MORE family snuggle time.  A girl could get spoiled with all these good doggy snuggle sessions.


I had been talking about wanting an egg salad sammich all week from a local restaurant, so Mr. Scrooge had suggested that we go there for lunch and, of course, I said yes.  It was everything I needed it to be.  While I was waiting on Mr. Scrooge to finish getting ready, I prepped the dog's pills for the week (Phil takes more pills than I do each day, that's how you know I love him the mostest).  We reached the dog's favorite point of the PB jar, when it gets empty...



After lunch, we came home and Mr. Scrooge went out on a motorcycle ride, while I stayed home and was lazy.  Before he left, he brought all the mail inside and it was an EXCELLENT mail day.  I had TWO birthday packages (one from Teh BFF and one from Teh MD Adult Roomie), a check from Chase (which we will talk about later), and my new (health) insurance card!  Teh BFF agreed that I could open her package right then, but Teh MD Adult Roomie said I had to wait, then she said I could open it then, but I had already agreed to wait so I had something to open ON my birthday since I think I know what it is.. or at least I hope I think I know what it is, because if it's what I think it is, I'm SUPER pumped.

I was also fighting a headache, so after talking to Teh Dad and an episode of Downton Abbey, it was nap time.  When I woke up, I accomplished some tasks on my to do list, like put my new NCSU SC tag on Yurtle, put away the clean laundry, move the sheets to the dryer.

Friday night, we had decided to try a place called Bowens Island Restaurant after our decision to go to improv downtown had been foiled since I couldn't order 2 tickets online.  No big deal since we had a backup plan.  All their oysters are local and you either love it or hate it.  I didn't hate it, so there's that.  It's also one of the best places to catch the sunset in the area, and I got SOOOOO many photos (#ilooklikeatourist #idgaf).

It's one of those places where you go up to the counter to order, then you find a seat.  When your food is ready a food attendant will bring it out and yell your name to find you.  The line was out the door the entire time we were there and we arrived shortly after 5, when they opened.  We had planned on being there at 5, but Mr. Scrooge was a little late coming home and we still had to feed the dogs before we left and Phil was eating as.slow.as.possible.  Really, it's good he's my favorite.

Incredible sunset.  I just couldn't stop snapping photos.  I probably took 20 photos sitting on the deck while Mr. Scrooge was inside in line to order food.

A tray of oysters (local), boiled shrimp, fried fish, hush puppies, cole slaw, and fries.

That's his concentrating face.

Sluuuurrp.

It was so big!

I did help Mr. Scrooge eat some of the oysters (but didn't help with the shuckin' part what with my minimal ability to use a knife to cut a steak) and I shared some of my dinner (the not oysters) with him.  I was a failure and deleted the photos of Mr. Scrooge with his napkin bib on, which makes me super sad since it was ridiculous.  Also, one of the most dangerous things I've ever encountered with Mr. Scrooge is being in such close proximity of him while he was trying to shuck the oysters.  I was sure I was going to lose a finger.. or an eye... or walk out of there bleeding in some way.

After we finished dinner, we headed to a place called Rollin' South Kitchen for dessert, which was on James Island.  The bartender at Bowens Island had recommended it, so we figured why not.  I was slightly disappointed that the only dessert they has was Hummingbird Cake, which is essentially carrot cake without the carrots.. aka a light spice cake.  I wasn't overly impressed but it was ok.  It wasn't something I would have ordered if I would have had the choice of something chocolate, but it was their specialty, so definitely worth trying.  While Mr. Scrooge was finishing his beer, I pulled out Teh Flamin' Kindle and we played some Fruit Ninja.  I lost 3 times, but won once, so I'll take it.  In my defense, Mr. Scrooge kept knocking Teh Flamin' Kindle and it would move.

We finally headed home and I took all my electronics (really it's ridiculous) into the bedroom and did some work.  Mr. Scrooge was gaming so it wasn't like he really missed my company.  After my eyes started to cross from dealing with computer code, I put away the work computer and read the book club book (Where'd You Go Bernadette) for a little while before finally deciding it was bedtime.

Despite my encouragement to come to bed, Mr. Scrooge stayed up until 3am doing whatever is it he does until 3am.  I know it involved cooking a pizza at 0130, since the dogs woke me up scratching on the door because he had opened the fridge (beggar dogs much? uggh).  Let's just say it's good he's cute and I was exhausted and I had earplugs and I realized that I was working myself up over nothing (mostly because I hadn't gotten my way when I encouraged him to come to bed and he said soon and then it didn't happen until 3 hours later).  Let me make that make sense for you.

Part of my own personal goal when Mr. Scrooge and I had our serious talk a few weeks ago was that I'd stop getting worked up over non-issues.  Seriously, Gentle Readers, not only was I pissed that he was still up at 0130.. then he was making an ENTIRE PIZZA?  AND it was like 3 inches tall because of all the crap he'd added, including almost an ENTIRE bag of mozzarella cheese (nope, not making that up).. AND he'd used the pepperoni stuffed crust pizza!  I was so angry.  I almost couldn't get to sleep.

I think it started with the dogs waking me up, which is never a good thing.  From there it spiraled out of control because I knew Mr. Scrooge was drunk (whatever, he was at home, who cares?).  I laid in bed being pissed off and knowing I wasn't going to be able to go to sleep because I was so mad and then being pissed off at myself for being mad.  Then I remembered there was a stuffed crust pizza in the freezer (my favorite) and I actually got out of the bed to see which pizza he'd used (my favorite one, duh), which only served to fuel my rage fire.  Then I moved on to the next step, which was knowing that there was going to be a huge mess in the kitchen in the morning, I just knew it.  All the while, I'm trying to talk myself down.  I literally got out of bed to see which pizza he used BECAUSE I knew which one it was and I KNEW I'd be pissed off.  I mean, really, Megan, REALLY?  Sit the fuck down and chill out.  Bitch please, ain't nobody got time for that kind of rage at 0130.  THEN, to prepare myself to be pissed off first thing in the morning.  I'm ridiculous.

I had woken up at 03 and checked the time, because I was still pissed off.  A few minutes later, I felt Mr. Scrooge get in the bed.  I was such a bitch too.  I felt him, but still hogged the entire bed.  When I woke up Sunday morning, he had the majority of the bed, but still.  I was ornery and difficult.  I had in earplugs and I think I heard him tell me good night, but I didn't respond because I knew whatever came out of my mouth would be dripping with rage that was blown out of proportion for no reason other than I'm me.

Seriously.  Someone tell me I'm not the only one who does this?  The worst part is definitely being in the midst of all that rage and KNOWING you are blowing it out of proportion and you're working yourself up over something that shouldn't be an issue at all. but it totally is.  So I'm angry but I feel bad for being angry which means I get frustrated at myself and it's just a hot mess.



SUNDAY

I had told Mr. Scrooge that I was possibly going to church.  I kinda doubted I'd go when I woke up at 0130 with all the rage that felt like it kept me awake forever, then waking up again at 3.  But, I woke up at 0750 without an alarm, and figured that was God's way of being like, alright, get your ass to church, missy.  Mr. Scrooge had gotten up with the beasts at 06 when they roused him.  He said I didn't move.  I didn't, but I was aware enough to hear him get out of bed.  He had actually heard the dogs before me because I had my earplugs equipped and I wasn't a bit sorry.

I was almost ready to head out the door to church and I remembered the chili needed to get put in the crockpot, which meant I was going to be late for church.  Fortunately, Mr. Scrooge had gotten up and was about to get in the bath (he seriously takes more baths than anyone I've ever met, but whatever makes him happy) and he agreed to help me by browning the meat and cooking up the onions while I drained and rinsed the beans and put everything else together in the crockpot.  I was only 15 minutes late for church instead of 30.  I almost tried to talk myself out of going since I was going to be late, but I just felt like I NEEDED to be at the first church this morning.

I had actually planned to go last weekend, but I ended up sleeping in instead.  Slacker, aye.  But this weekend, I needed to be there, even if I was late.  I forgot that the first church was more dressy than the 2nd church I went to.  I was one of two people in jeans.  Whatevs.  There's been a lot of chatter lately about it NOT being about what you wear to church, so I tried to just be comfortable.  I sat in the back since I was late, which is strange for me since I'm an up-front-sitter.  But, the seat I took was facing the pastor directly.  It was like God was giving me all these signs.  I woke up on my own to get there on time, I still went even though I was late, my chair was directly facing the pastor (instead of having to turn my head to see him, which isn't really that big of a deal, but is kinda like God being like PAY ATTENTION, MEGAN).

The sermon was about praying, based on the chapter in Luke where the disciples as Jesus to teach them to pray.  This is the same passage where the Lord's Prayer is given to the disciples, which means not only was the sermon about praying (and it sometimes feeling like a one sided conversation) but the pastor broke down the part of the Lord's Prayer (and made everyone laugh when he said he was sure there would be lots of praying yesterday; some prayers for the Patriots to win, some prayers for the Seahawks to win...).  The very first sermon I heard at LPUMC in MD was the pastor breaking down the Lord's Prayer.  It was part of why I picked LPUMC as my church.

But the most important part of the sermon was when the pastor was speaking about praying sometimes feeling like a one-sided conversation and how it was sometimes difficult to hear God talking to you because there's just so much noise all the time in our lives.  At which point he quoted my absolute favorite Bible verse, Psalms 46:10: Be still, and know... (the one I will eventually get as a tattoo)..  I knew RIGHT THEN that this was my new church.  That tingle went down my entire body.

This time, the pastor didn't read his entire sermon, thankfully.  I wasn't there for the beginning worship songs, but the ones I did get to participate in were pretty good.  During the entire service I knew that God had been directing me to this place, and I was thankful in all the ways.  One of the biggest concerns in my life since I made the decision to get out of the navy has been about the dollas.  When I didn't magically get the job that everyone said I was going to get at the start of my terminal leave, I was worried and full of doubt and oh were there prayers.  LOTS of prayers.  I hadn't been good about going to church since I got to SC, but everyone's faith journey has valleys and peaks.  I'm not sure if this was a valley or a peak, honestly and here's why: despite my consistent worry about money, there's never been a time when I've gone hungry or struggled.  There's been times when the money has been low, but even now, when I've been using my credit card for the last month so I don't have to dip into my savings (since I know I'll be getting paid soon), I could pay off my credit card if I needed to and still have money to pay Yurtle's payment each month.

It makes ZERO sense.  Seriously.  ZERO.  I've been buying groceries and paying the cable/utility bills since I moved in (well, I started paying the utility stuffs in Nov).  Groceries aren't cheap and Target paychecks were... lacking.  But when I needed money, it was miraculously there.  I haven't had a paycheck since the beginning of January and I won't get paid from Company until the 2nd week of February, but I received a pretty large refund check from Chase saying they charged me too much interest over the last 6 years while I was in the Navy.  I also filed my taxes and have already started getting them back.  I also have a check coming from Kia because some magical lawsuit happened and they claimed Yurtle got better gas mileage than she actually does, so people get dollas and I'm one of those people.  I paid for SC car insurance and registration and I'll get my NC insurance and registration money refunded.

To some it may be a serious of fortunate events, but to me, this is something larger at work.  It kinda hit me what was going on when I received my contributions letter from LPUMC from my tithes that I paid to them in 2014 (yay tax deductions!).  It was a LOT of money.  I had felt the crunch some months when I was writing the checks, but it wasn't so bad that I didn't write the check.  There have been many ways in which I've been taken care of since October.  From Teh MD Adult Roomie telling me not to worry about paying for bills for the last week that I was there, to Mr. Scrooge taking care of our activities and eating out and the cable bill for a few extra months, to magical lawsuits where Kia is going to give me several hundred dollars to make up for something that I was completely unaware of.  Some of these things make total sense, but the influx of money in January when I'm not receiving any income?  I'm giving God that credit.

That's really a lot of Jesus talk for one post, but this has been weighing on my heart since I received my LPUMC contributions letter.  I remember Teh Mom talking about ways we were taken care of, after she and my dad split up and how it made no sense most of the time how things just worked out.  I remember her saying it was a miracle.  I believed her then, because I understood our situation, but when you yourself are in that situation and you get those feelings and that tingle down your spine and you know that all those conversations that you thought were one-sided, weren't one-sided at all.. that's when you KNOW, without a doubt that it's something much bigger than you in charge of all this.

Ahem.. continuing on with the weekend though (sorry not sorry for the soapbox)...

After church, I went to Kohl's to spend some Kohl's cash (which I really wish I could stop getting, seriously).  I first stopped at Starbucks to obtain one of my free birthday drinks (I have 2 since I have 2 Starbucks rewards cards, don't ask), then headed to Kohl's.  Right before I went into Kohl's, I was talking with Mr. Scrooge and asked him if he wanted to do lunch since we were both out and he was planning on going on a motorcycle ride since it was a gorgeous day.  He agreed to meet at SmashBurger.


While he headed my way, I scavenged through Kohl's shoe section for some new gym shoes because ALL my gym shoes have/had holes in the back at the ankle area.  I ended up buying 4 pairs of new shoes for $138.  Teh MD Teenage Roomie's response was, "WHY do you need FOUR pairs of shoes?!"  Well, 1, all my shoes had holes in the fabric and I usually try to keep 2 pairs of gym shoes around on principle.  2.  They were on sale.  3.  Shoes are an investment and my investment averaged about $35 per set of shoes, which is pretty good if you ask me.  4.  I won't have to buy new gym shoes for a year.  I did consider returning one pair, but I haven't made that commitment yet.

These were NOT a consideration.
But really, WHY are these stretchy shoes a thing?

While I was trying on shoes, there was a couple there and the husband was trying to find some new gym shoes.  He needed some with lots of padding.  He tried on some Nike's then told his wife that they had the padding of walking on newspapers.  I couldn't help but laugh.  At that same time, I was trying on a pair of Asics and suggested that he try them (in the men's version) instead, because the pair I had on were SUPER padded.  Before I walked away with my 4 boxes of shoes, he was giving grunts of approval as he walked around looking for his wife.


I was trying to hurry and check out and there was an older lady in front of me who was taking FOREVER to check out.  As in, she was about to write her check (who does that still, really?) and then was like, nah take those shoes off, they were too much... GRANNY GET OUT OF MY WAY I'M HUNGRY AND I'M ALREADY FEELING BUYERS REMORSE!!  Finally, another sales rep came up to help out the lone cashier.  She wouldn't honor my 30% off coupon (of course, since it was expired even though she couldn't read and thought it said it wasn't valid until Feb 15, not that it was valid Jan 15-28th), but she gave me 20% off after I told her the reason I was buying FOUR pairs of shoes was because I thought I had my 30% and I told her that the lady at the other register had just used a 20% off coupon.  BOOM.  Plus $10 Kohl's cash (ugh), plus $10 birthday rewards = $138... plus $20 in Kohl's cash.. FML.


After Kohl's, I headed to the grocery store to pick up some juice and a replacement frozen pizza (don't judge me, ok?) and milk so we could survive the week.  I came home and unloaded Yurtle, while Phil and Meri side-eyed me waiting for me to tell them they could get in the car, which they eventually did after it was almost completely empty, silly dogs.

After getting everything put away, I sat down at my computer to power out this post because I really wanted to talk about what an excellent weekend it was and talk about finding my new church and just all.the.things, really.  I had asked Mr. Scrooge to be home by 4:30 so we could head to Teh SC House Finder and Teh Architect's house for a super bowl gathering.  When he showed up at 3:30, I was super surprised.

I made chili for dinner to bring to our gathering and Teh SC House Finder did wings and Teh SC House Finder's Mom brought dessert.  I wasn't super interested in football (ever), but I have missed our weekly gathering so much.

YYYYAAAAYYY for a superb weekend with excellent weather.






Linking up with these ladies:
Weekend Recap w/ Bella and the City | Weekending w/ B Loved Boston

Monday, December 24, 2012

Relish 15-21

Continuing to Relish 2012 with Rebecca @ Finding Freedom in the Leaping.


15 December:
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Perhaps it feels like they found you, or you were meant to discover them right when you did, but often over the course of a year we are treated to tidbits of inspiration, insight and encouragement. We find them in books, on twitter, under bottle caps, on fortune cookies and tea bags, on bumper stickers, or on lemonade bottles… What were the words of wisdom that came to aid and engage you this year? (Bonus points if you can share them visually with us.)

This year, the most significant words to me were "Be still and know."  This is actually a verse from the Bible, Psalms 46:10:  "Be still, and know that I am God..."  One of the churches that I pass regularly had "be still and know" posted on one side of their sign... One day in particular, I was passing it and read it.  I'd probably passed by this sign for weeks and not noticed.  This day, I needed it.  I was frustrated at the person who had been going significantly under the speed limit, the radio wasn't playing anything good, nothing seemed to be going my way.  After reading it, I paused.  I breathed.  I was still.  In that moment, a sense of peace came over me.  The radio didn't matter, I wasn't going anywhere that wasn't forgiving of being a minute or two late, my day was going exactly how I let it.  I was still and knew that I wasn't in control and it made me feel completely content.

This also led to my next (potentially final) tattoo idea:
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16 December:
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Sometimes it’s a blessing, sometimes it’s gut wrenching and horrible. In time it will heal, and it’s likely we’ll be stronger for it. But in the meantime it can be wince inducing to think back on it. Do it anyway… What broke this year? How are you better for it having broken? And if you can’t see that part yet, what good would you LIKE to see come from it?

Physically, my body was broken, but now it's better, lol.  I've had endometrosis for a long time and I found out I was "full o' stones" (my gallbladder).  After 2 surgeries, I'm almost like new.

As for mentally broken..  I'm still struggling with the fact that Teh Bear is still not in MD.  Usually, coupled with extreme PMS, I get very down about this fact.  I try extremely hard to ignore this, but sometimes it just spills out and I get sulky and nasty and Teh Bear has to deal with down Teh Megan and no one likes that.  After a few heart-to-hearts pep talks, lots of reassurances, and some brain refocusing, things got significantly better (at least for this month).



17 December:
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Life is made up of the big moments and the little details. The big moments tend to stick in our memories but the details can fade away over time. Which little detail — something you saw… a look… a touch… a fleeting moment — from 2012 would you like to remember in the years to come?

I have a feeling that as I'm in the US for longer and longer, the thrill of all the things that I was so excited about in the past year will become less and less exciting.  The flowers will still bloom in the spring, a cool breeze will still be refreshing on a 90°F day, the leaves will still put on an art show in the fall, and the snow will continue to fall in the winter..  but this past year, each time these things happened, I held my breath for a second because the excitement about these little changes made me feel like I might burst.

So, I hope that when next fall rolls around, I still appreciate how awesome the leaves are.  That when Christmas #3 in the States happens, that I don't forget that one Christmas, I didn't have a tree to put up, I didn't have my decorations and I had to start fresh.  Mostly, I want to remember the feeling of excitement, like I would burst, and the immediate gratitude to God for all the wonderful things that I'm blessed with, the leaves and the snow and the cool days and remembering to breathe when its all so wonderful and overwhelming.



18 December:
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We are surrounded by it and yet its interpretation always remains individual. Sometimes we lack works to describe it, and that’s ok; it’s better when life is filled with MORE than we can distill and transmit, no? Think back on where you’ve been, what you’ve seen. Where in your year were you captured by color? Can you show it to us? What did it make you feel?
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Christmas lights above the bed was something that happened last February when Teh Bear came to MD to visit for my birthday.  They weren't in this pattern, but I didn't take a photo of the lights, so that photo will have to suffice.  I worked for part of his visit, but did take some vacation.  There would be days that we'd just take a break from watching TV or playing on the computers to go and snuggle under the lights.  I remember the feeling of contentment in just snuggling with Teh Bear whenever I wanted to.  And yes, we just snuggled, get your dirty minds out of the gutter.



19 December:
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Some people think they aren’t creative, they’d certainly never call themselves “artistic”. Gasp! But I have always firmly believed that we each make ART in our lives, it just takes shapes and forms that might not come to mind right away. Maybe it’s a colorful, delicious omlet, or a perfectly lined lawn, or sand castles you never want to see wash away. What art did you make this year?

This year I did a lot of home decorating.  I made the apartment MINE.  Teh Bear and I decided on a color scheme so that way I wouldn't get out of control with the decorating colors (because when you don't have a favorite color and like ALL colors, you love all things).  I made wall hangings even.  Since I finally had a place of my own, I cooked so much delicious noms.  I made Pinterest recipes.  I visited the Grand Canyon and took photos so I could share them later.  Also, I learned to appreciate (more than I already did) karaoke in the car on 8 hour drives and since music is art, I sang and sang and sang.  I'm sure Phil was just like, stfu.



20 December:
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Imagine mapping your year on your body. What does your body hold from 2012? Where did your feet walk? What did your hands hold? What did you tuck gently into your heart?  Capture this topography in some journaling or even in a poem. You might want to begin with a phrase like “These hands held…” or “This heart knows…”

My body now has 6 distinctive scars on my belly from 2 surgeries.  My feet got new blisters from starting to walk then moving on to running.  My feet got some new dents from Phil stretching and his claws digging into the tops of my feet.  My left hand middle finger got a bigger dent in it from signing so much paperwork due to my job as an assistant command security manager.  My wrists got leash burned from Phil trying to chase squirrels.  My feet got even more blisters when I broke in my new hiking boots for our November vacation.  I got drenched several times from running out in the rain with Phil.  I held hands with Teh Bear for longer than I have any other year.  I got snuggles from Teh Bear more than any other year.

My heart has been fulfilled with travel to Australia and Scotland and Florida and Colorado and Arizona and North Carolina.  I weathered frustration when I felt like the distance wasn't making me stronger.  My heart was fulfilled when Phil entered my life, even though there were moments where I was sure that Phil was tempting fate.  I felt relief at knowing that after enduring 2 surgeries, my body was more healed and better than it had been in a long time.  I felt great relief the first time I got to go to medical and tell them I was on NO medication.  My heart felt love every time I met Teh Bear at the airport and sadness every time we left each other.  I was proud when Teh Sister graduated from college and Teh Stepsister joined the Army.



21 December:
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There are few things on earth that can bring back memories, whole events, like a photograph can. Even blurry, faded, cracked and broken, these still records act like master keys to the visual parts of our brains and unlock the events in such a real way that we can slip back into them effortlessly. Even shots we weren’t present for can grant us that sense of participation that hearing stories third hand never can. Take a gander at the images you’ve made this year and, if you can, choose the one that means the most to you. Share it with us, if you’d like. Why that photo?


This panoramic represents many things:
Photography, a hobby that I love.
Dreams accomplished, I always wanted to visit Australia, but never thought I'd actually go... and then I did.
Sunrise, the start of a new day, holding new things.
Passion, for my hobby.
Devotion, for getting up before the sun rose to get this photo.
Skill, for learning to do panoramic photos and editing photos.
Companionship, for the company I was in when I took this photo.
Community, for the desire to share this photo (and all the other photos) with Gentle Readers/family/friends/etc.




Saturday, May 26, 2012

This (permanent) idea I have...

For a while, I've wanted a new tattoo.  I wasn't sure what I wanted though.  My personal rule is that I have to have wanted it for at least 6 months before I get it.  That does not mean I have 6 months to plan what I want, no no.  That means, final design decided on, then I have to wait 6 months to get it.  I feel like I've talked about this rule before, which originally came from Teh Mom about piercings, but I view piercings as not permanent, so for me, that doesn't count.

Something permanent though?  At least 6 months.

For a while I tossed around the idea of a side tattoo (like side of my torso).  I didn't like it for long enough.
Then I tossed around the idea of something on my foot.  I still like that idea.  But I wasn't sure what I wanted.
I considered an anchor, representative of my Navy choice, but that feels pretty cliche.  Every now and then I see someone, including Teh BFF, on Pinterest post pics of foot tattoos, but none of them are really "permanent" material for me.  It's not that they aren't good, its just its not for me.

Recently, I've been leaning more towards a word tattoo.  I like the simplicity of it.  But, at the same time, I also would want some design to it.  Some wavy lines or something.  IDK.

Within the last week or so, I think I've finally pinpointed the words that I want.

I pass a church when I go into town and last week I was having a pretty crappy week.  Ok really crappy week.  Mostly work stuff, but add to that a lovely batch of PMS and it was just a disaster that started to spiral out of control.  I was headed into town that day and noticed the sign said:  Be still, and know that I am God.

I really, really, really, struggle with the "be still" part.  I mean, sometimes I struggle with the "and know" part as well because when things aren't glaringly obvious I tend to be more skeptical (I'm working on that faith thing).  But the "be still" part is really hard for me.  I'm always doing something.  I pray and thank God for my blessings (because I have a LOT of blessings to be grateful for), but rarely to I just still myself to listen.

For the rest of the week I looked to the sign for that moment of peace, but I realized, it was only on one side of the sign!  I was actually disappointed to see their message about their Wednesday evening service on the other side.  I wanted more Psalms 46:10.  Sadly, every time I passed it coming from the correct direction, I always missed it.  I was singing to the radio and not paying attention.  I was passing some slow driver and not paying attention.  I was talking on the phone and not paying attention.  And that's just it.  It's hard for me to "be still".

So when I saw this tattoo design, I feel in looove.

(image)

I like the swirly parts, I like the colored parts (not so sure about the feathers), I loved the words.  I would definitely add "and know" underneath the "be still".  As for the feathers, I was considering something like paisley/henna related.

Getting henna in Bahrain was one of my favoritest things about that place.  To the point that my last day in the country Shoulda Been a Cowgirl and Miss Difficult Last Name waited ALL DAY with me to get henna. No jk, it was a 7 hour wait.  Apparently, getting henna around an Islamic holiday is not a good idea.  Sadly, I wasn't aware that a holiday was coming up, or I would have planned better.  We actually left and came back later (which one of the locals suggested we do).

I'll have to give it some more thought to plan out the logistics.  I really like the tattoo that is shown in the picture.  I'd put it on my foot instead of my shoulder and I'd probably alter the colors of the feathers if I was to get that exact one, but that's pretty unoriginal, imo.  I think I'm going to stalking this site for some inspiration and see how do-able it actually would be to incorporate henna into this concept.

Anyone have any suggestions?  Anyone have any art skillz?  Anyone know a good tattoo artist that is a reasonable distance from me?  Anyone wanna get a tattoo with me?