Honeymoon Bonus Post

This is all the shit that didn't get included elsewhere.  You're welcome.

When Husband knows you VERY well and his sandwich box "talks" to you.

We didn't find any live greyhounds, but we did find this sighthound statute.
I'll take it.

This tree is covered in bats.
Like, if you zoom in, you can see them.

Oh yeah, thanks Duolingo...
NO.

Someone was a good sport and took a new photo for his posts.

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

The biggest yams/sweet potatoes and carrots I'd ever seen at Paddy's Market in Sydney.

These awesome water fountains are so rare.
It was like finding an extinct animal!

That says YOLO County.
YOLO is a real place people.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Have chocolate.
Will eat.
PS.  It wasn't that good.  Boo, hiss.

2 gulls, sexin'.

There was a weird stain on Yurtle's passenger door which had been there for years....
I finally cleaned it off on the way home from MD.
FINALLY.
And then a month later, I traded in my Yurtle for Willow.

I found THREE libraries while we were on vacation.  I'm considering library hunting while on vacation a new personal mission.

In Sydney

In San Francisco

At Alcatraz

Keepin' It Real: On Rejection.

I'm going to talk about some grown up things in this post, like sex and feelings... so you've been warned, particularly if you're one of my parental figures who prefers to believe that I'm a chaste little angel who does no wrong (which is, of course, completely true).

_____________________________________________

I don't like being told no.  Like, really.  I often pout when I'm told no and then I'll eventually get over it because I'm an adult and that's what adults are supposed to do, but that doesn't mean I like it.

But this problem took on another level recently when Teh German turned me down for sexy time.  We'd had a good weekend and there wasn't anything going on and I was like, "Ohhh yeeeeaaahhhh." and Teh German was not on my same page.  In fact, when I started putting my moves on him, he grumble/groaned like, "Ugh, not this again."  I'm pretty sure my reaction was something akin to being slapped.  I was instantly hurt.  I instantly closed up and shut down and avoided eye contact and talking and Teh German in general for the rest of the evening.  I didn't have an appetite at dinner and Teh German asked me what was wrong, like he didn't know..

But ya'll.. I didn't know.  I knew what sparked me having a problem, but I couldn't put my finger on WHY I was upset, besides being told no.  It took me about 24 hours to process.   It wasn't pretty.  I even went to bed without Teh German, which is rare.  I was afraid of the pity fuck if we had went to bed at the same time, which would only serve to enrage me more.

With some time to process, I came to these conclusions.

By being rejected in such a way, the grumble rather than being told, "Maybe later, I'd really just like to relax and have dinner now.", it felt personal.  It was about ME, since there was no reasoning behind the rejection.  And I took it quite personally.

My brain is a myriad of negative thoughts that I regularly squash down.  Mostly things that I put on myself that may or may not be true.  My brain likes to give me "credit" for decisions others make that are completely unrelated to me, like Teh German's lack of desire to "woohoo" with me at that time.  (If you got that "woohoo" reference, I'm glad you're here. #NerdBond)

Some of those things included:
-you're too fat.
-you're too demanding.
-social media is better.
-you're too much.
-you're no good at sexy time.
-you're emasculating.
-(insert any self-deprecating comment here)

And while some of those things could possibly be true to someone, they are not always true of me.  Whether that's a lie or not, I still tell myself that I am none of those things because all those negative thoughts do not need to take up residence in my head.. but damn if they didn't anyways.

Honestly, he never gave me a reason why, but when we talked about it the next evening, after I kinda sorted through my problems, he said, "I have the right to say no."  And I 100% support that.. in theory.  When Teh German asked me at dinner what was wrong, I said something to the effect of, "How would you feel if the situation was reversed?" and he mumbled something that I heard as, "mumble mumble whatever."  I then told him that he wouldn't ever know the answer to that because I don't say no.  Crickets.

Reality: I don't say no because sexy time has become so infrequent, one does not look the gift horse in the mouth.  Yes, I could initiate more and probably make sexy time a little more frequent, but often we are both tired, stressed, and excuses, excuses, excuses....

In case you were unaware, Teh German and I are in a relationship (marriage, dating, the status doesn't matter for this situation).  To both of us, that means being monogamous.  That means intimacy and sex and the deepest kind of relationship with each other, not with outside participants.  This is good for both of us.  It's never been a temptation for me to look outside of our relationship to satisfy my needs.  But, to be brutally honest, I'd rather have sex with my husband instead of taking care of my own (physical) needs solo (aka master-(de)bating).  I can get intimacy and have sex at the same time.  2 birds, 1 stone kind of deal.  I'm in a relationship with a German, we're all about efficiency.

Here's the reality.  We're well past that honeymoon phase of our relationship.  But during our honeymoon phase.. it was hot hot hotttttttt.  I keep a calendar of private events, separate from my personal and school calendars, which is where I track girl time and sexy time and while it's not necessary and it's kind of a chore, I have been able to see the downward trend.  Also, I know that if I didn't track sexy time, I wouldn't track my girl time (period week), so it's a necessary evil.

This decline coincides conveniently with my neediness.  I never realized just how much physical touch I needed until I got older and our relationship matured, we've become more and more busy.. and we just don't make time.  And then it hits me that we touch each other 4-6 times a day: maybe when we get out of bed, definitely before we leave for work, definitely when we get home from work, probably before we eat dinner, definitely right before bed.  But it's usually just a quick kiss other than when we leave for work, when we hug (if I'm not in the shower).

I started to pick up on a few things going on...

We were/are taking our relationship for granted.  There is/was no intention in our affection, just the habit/ritual of it.  What this means to me is that there was no effort being put into our relationship.  It's easy to go through the motions and put a check in the box.  It's more effort to put intention into your actions to ensure that you do things for a purpose.  I.e. you kiss your significant other before you leave for work to ensure that the last time they saw you, you wanted them to know you love them in case you're in a horrific car accident 3 miles into your drive and die.  Is that extreme?  Yes, but does it help me live with intention?  Fuck yes.

I always take being turned down (regarding sexy time) as a bad sign.  ALWAYS.  The less affection I want to show, the less I'm invested in the relationship, and I assume that is the same for the other party.  For me, choosing anything else over intimacy with your partner shows that other things are valued over the relationship/intimacy with your partner, which means your partner is not the most important thing to you, which just spirals out of control quickly.. especially if you are me.  I've been less important than a computer game, I've been less important than easy access porn and nudes from ex's.  So this is something I've become experienced in, so me escalating the issue quickly in my marriage shouldn't come as a big surprise.

But I need to understand that THIS relationship is not all my past relationships that didn't work.  I need to move on from issues that have plagued me for a very long time because they really hurt me and created scars that always remind me of the worst things.

I place a lot of weight on sexy time, when really I should place more value on intimacy.  Honestly, I wasn't really looking for sex, I was looking for intimacy.  We had had a great weekend and I just wanted to be close to Teh German.  We could have just laid on the bed and snuggled and chatted and I would have been ok, but that's not how I approached the situation.  I know that this is a personal problem, to confuse sex and intimacy, and it's something I need to work on, but I also need Teh German to be aware of my issues as I work through them.

When we talked about this the following evening, I explained that I need more affection from him and more intimacy with him.  That more affection and intimacy would mean that I wouldn't have been as hurt by his rejection because I would know that the well isn't dry, it's just not available right now, but maybe later?  I explained that we went from a lot of sex to barely any sex and well.... this doesn't work well for me.

Science tells us that as humans age, women's sex drive goes up, while men's decreases.  But Society tells me/us that men are complete sex maniacs who would never turn down sex and here's 25 ways to spice up your sex life!  Worse yet, the "spice up your sex life articles" are generally aimed towards women, so when those "suggestions" don't work out, women feel at fault.  But that's all a big lie and I know it, but sometimes I don't KNOW it.



So this is my real talk.
This is me, admitting my faults and showing my struggles.
This is me, recognizing that I have some work to do.
This is me, over-sharing something that is extremely private.
This is me, being transparent and showing the world that despite the happy words and fun pictures, strife still exists in my life.
This is me, sharing my ugly.

Welcome to the show, Gentle Readers.

On Babies and Procreating.

I have a struggle.  It's about babies.  It's about not wanting them or wanting them.  It's about people's judgement and comments.

This is not a new struggle for me.
But what had happened was...

When I was sitting with the tax dude while he was doing our taxes, he said something about having 2 kids and I said, "I have 2 fur kids, it's a shame I can't get a tax credit for them."  He said, "So no human kids... yet."

Queue some Megan rage.

Just because my body contains the tools to reproduce doesn't mean I am obligated to use them.

That's the thing about humans, we can make choices about our bodies (ya know, for the most part, barring any government regulation, which is a can of worms we're not getting into right now).

Obviously, this is not the first time I've heard this comment, nor will it be the last.  "Yet," it really, really irks me... because at the end of the day, my reproductive business is no one else's business.  That's just how that works.

And then.. a few days later, a coworker brought her month-old infant to a work party so we could all meet him.  He was adorable.  I wanted to hold him, NBD, but I wasn't going to push everyone out of the way to be like, MY TURN BITCHES.  And after the other interested parties held him, he was passed on to me.. and never taken away.  He was cute and he wasn't crying and he was like a little lump.

And then what had happened was:
1- I waffled between being tired of holding him and wanting to put him in his carrier and just wanting to hold this cute, not crying infant because he was adorable and I hadn't gotten to meet him before and it's a baby, there's nothing shameful in holding a baby.
2- I felt (mysteriously) obligated to hold him.  Like, if I put him down my coworkers would think me heartless.  But I knew that by continuing to hold him, my coworkers were all thinking, "I know who is next! Tehehe."
3- I would move the baby around and everyone would hold their breath or comment that I was going to drop him.  Cue Megan rage.  Several times I had to say to someone who made a comment, "Is he crying?  Is he still alive?  Yes, and yes.. So he's fine and I'm fine and we're fine.  Thanks."

And then, Mom and Dad were ready to leave and I handed the baby back and guess what.. my uterus didn't explode from wanting.  I continued on about my day like I do.  Holding that infant didn't change my mind about my reproductive choices.  In fact, it kind of cemented my feelings even more.

There's even photographic evidence!

Maybe my reproductive choices are the problem.  And by THE problem, I mean MY problem.  Because I don't really want kids, but I'd be willing to use my tools maybe.  Teh German and I have discussed it several times and right now, we've both agreed that we do not want kids at this time.  I think what really gave Teh German pause was when I asked him why he wanted kids.  Because society/his family said so?  I'm not interested in that reasoning.... and here's why...

I told Teh German that if he really wanted to have kids, we would do it.  But it would be after I finished school.  Because I MATTER.  My priorities matter and, let's just be real for a minute, my body and time will be the most effected for the immediate time.  I also had to explain to him that all the fun stuff we do now (which he really enjoys) would definitely taper off.  Not because we're not awesome anymore, but because our priorities will have to be reevaluated to meet the demands of a tiny human.  The reality is, I'm not going to be the only one "sacrificing" because of a spawn.

Coincidentally, while I was typing this up waiting on my math class to start, a cadet was asking our professor about his day as "Mr. Mom."  I happily interjected and said, "Most people just call that, 'being a dad.""

These attitudes needs to change.
Because someone has a uterus doesn't mean it is their SINGULAR PURPOSE to create offspring and take care of those offspring.  Oddly enough, it takes two individuals to (naturally) make an offspring (in the case of humans at least) and "the nuclear family" is actually a pretty new concept.  People used to live in villages and everyone took care of everyone else, to include other's children.  Example: infants being fed from whatever female could nurse the baby.  It didn't have to be the mother.  Milkmaids were real.  They are not just from a song.

Additionally, the working woman has been around for forever.  Except that, women.had.help.  It's maybe amusing to imagine the caveman always being away hunting and the woman staying home to tend the farm and children.. but it wasn't like the man and woman lived all alone.  They.had.help.

Today, that same type of help isn't as prevalent.  This very much influences my decision to procreate.  Would I mind having a child if I know that I could go to work (which I do because I enjoy working) and someone I trust would be around to take care of the baby?  Maybe not as much.  Except that I still don't know WHY I should have a kid.  There is no reason that I, Megan LastName, NEED to procreate.

I don't need to pass on my genes for the human race to survive.
I don't feel an obligation to see what Teh German and I could create in a tiny human.
I mean, yeah, the science is cool, but the whole, still having to take care of it for forever and it getting to a stage where it talks back and acts like me doesn't surpass the thrill of "ooo, what could we make?"  It never will for me.  And also, I've seen our Snapchat face-swaps.  We should not procreate.

So this is me saying, fuck it.  Fuck whoever tries to make me feel less for not wanting children.  Especially fuck anyone who expects me to procreate because I have a uterus.  Fuck anyone who tries to tell me that I'm missing out/kids are worth it/it will fulfill me/whatever other possible reason/blah blah blah.  

In case you were waiting on it (because I sure was for a long time), this is your permission to reflect on your desires and make your own decisions.

This is your permission to be honest about YOUR desires, to tell society and whoever else to STFU because you will do what YOU want to do with YOUR body and that you have NO obligation to do whatever they did or what they expect you to do.

It is YOUR right, as a human
to make your own decisions.
Do that.

Weekend Review {4/2}

FRIDAY

As The Citadel is a military/prep school, we definitely had class on Friday.  Teh German was off and I was stabbing him with my 5am eye daggers when I dramatically rolled myself out of the bed to go on a run and then get ready for work.  He didn't hear any of that.. of course.

School was school and work was work.  I headed home to anxiously await Teh Advising Sister's arrival.  She arrived about 20 minutes after I got home and we chilled at home for a little bit. Teh German had gotten some fillings done Friday afternoon, so he took a pass on going out with us.

We ended up downtown for dinner and drinks.  It was my first official "wing woman" experience, and I think I could have done better, but for a first time, not so shabby.

At Co, we were seated at a community table (with bench seats (this is relevant)) and 2 guys sat down at the other end of the table.  The one on my side kept sliding closer to me.  About the time I was going to look over and ask if I could help him with something, he decided to introduce himself to us since we going to be dinner neighbors.  It was only mildly awkward, but we managed.  Eventually 2 others joined them and we were all introduced.  We didn't speak to them other than the introductions, but they seemed nice enough.  We had a debacle with the food and ending up sending our food back.  It was disappointing in other ways when it came back out, but we were hungry and didn't care.  We eventually paid our checks and headed out. 

Since it was nice out, I decided our first stop would be Republic.  There was a live band playing 90s/2000s alt rock which wasn't so bad, but wasn't really what we were looking for.  We had a drink there and people watched.

Who brings their dog out to a loud ass bar on a Friday night?
Like, really.  I love my dogs, but they don't deserve to have their ear drums busted by some cover band.

When the dog people left, we took their seats on the couch to finish up our drinks.  We chatted with the people across from us and my military radar went off when we sat down (based on some tattoos) and then they said they were visiting from VA Beach/Norfolk and I did a victory dance in my head. After we finished our drinks, we left Republic and walked down King Street to see what else was open/looked interesting.  We bypassed the empty bars and the country western bar and the bar where there was a line of sorority sisters outside.

We finally ended up at Macintosh, which was a solid decision.  We ended up getting seats at the end of the bar AND we realized we had accidentally stalked our dinner neighbors.  It ended up working out though because one of them bought us shots of Grand Mariner.  The only downside to running into them again was that they had a drunk friend with them and she was SLAAMMERED.  She explained to us that we were the only 15 minutes of fun of her entire night and she was totally up for selfies with made me laugh.

Eventually, they left and there had been a guy sitting close who had ordered a burger and fries.  Not that we were hungry, but they were truffle fries and they smelled delicious.  After Drunkie left, Teh Advising Sister asked if his burger was good and he said yes and explained the special sauce they use and we both preached about how good the fries smelled.  The waitress then asked us something weird and I didn't understand and I realized the burger guy had ordered us a side of the fries.

The fries were DELICIOUS, just as we expected.  But we were stuffed from Co and couldn't come close to eating the entire dish of fries.  Nonetheless, we thanked him and chatted with him for a bit before finally deciding that we were ready to head home. 

Also, while we appreciated free drinks and food.. BOTH guys who gave us free stuff were married.  I'm not an experienced wing woman, but I don't think that's how it's supposed to work.  Nonetheless, we got some delicious fries and a shot.. so we aren't complaining.

After Macintosh, we HAD to make a pre-home stop at Callie's Hot Little Biscuit.  #WORTHIT.

We were soooo full from all the drinks and food, but I explained that we HAD to have one warm biscuit, so Teh Advising Sister and I split a cinnamon biscuit and then it was bedtime.

SATURDAY

We didn't have any plans on Saturday.  I woke up early with a headache, not sure if it was alcohol or weather induced, so I happily let Teh German take care of the beasts.  I got up to pee and medicate and went right back to bed. 

We didn't wake up until 1030 and both felt bad since we had company.  We got up and Teh German made coffee for everyone, I headed up the biscuits for breakfast, and we worked out a plan for the afternoon.  Teh Advising Sister had suggested doing a distillery tour, so I did some research and we figured out a game plan and we headed out.  Teh German passed on this adventure to so he could go riding since it was super nice out.

We tried to start out at Striped Pig (where the Yelp Christmas parties are held) but when we arrived, there was a sign on the door that said they were closed because of the holiday.  Slightly annoyed, we headed to High Wire Distilling after calling to confirm they were open.

We did the tour, which was actually super interesting, and then sat down for a flight.  We sampled the vodka, gin, amaro, agricole (rum from sugar cane (vs molasses), and barrelled gin.
FYSI: High Wire Vodka is disgusting and no one should drink it.  On the other hand, their barrelled gin and amaro made me happy and I also purchased a bottle of extra aged rum.  They had found a barrel of rum that had been in the barrel for over 2 years.  I'm pumped to try it.

empties!

 After High Wire, we were hungry, but we wanted to check out a alcohol ice cream shop that Teh Advising Sister had found.  They hadn't answered the phone when we called, but I checked online and hours I found on Google and Yelp said they were open, so we headed there anyways.  Because of the way we took to get there, we were conveniently by Metto so we stopped in for an afternoon coffee.  When we arrived at Hard Scoop Distillery, they were closed.  At which point, we were done with the drinking and it was time for dinner.  We agreed on Mexican, and then I just had to determine where to get Mexican from.

I decided on La Norteca and called Teh German to ask if he wanted to meet us there since he was in Mount Pleasant.  He passed since he was going to Mexican for dinner later that evening with the Neighbor Bestie Husbands.  This did not deter us from getting delicious mexican food.

After dinner, we stopped in to At Home to peruse.

If this isn't an analogy of my life, I don't know what is.

We had plans at 6 to go to a Passion Party and we were late because I got carried away.  Oops.  No worries, though, the party didn't start without us.  FYI: I might be one of those overly sex-educated people.  For instance, when the seller/host/whatever she's called asked when the first vibrator was used I said, "During Cleopatria's time when she would have a vial filled with bees and use it as a vibrator."  That wasn't the correct answer.  The correct answer (for an electric vibrator) was the 1900s.  The next question was, "What was it used for?"  I got that question right with, "To treat hysteria."

If anyone wants to be a sex-know-it-all like me, just come visit.  If you use the downstairs bathroom, you should sign the guest book and then check out the pink book with a condom wrapper on the cover, titled, "SEX".  Other reading materials include Emma by Jane Austin and some German book by Bastian Sick.  I would advise you to choose wisely.

This is the 2nd passion party I've ever been to.  If you are a passion party virgin, a passion party is a women-only party where a Mary Kay rep tells you that your sex life is sad and you need things (scented/flavored body products/lubes/numbing creams/etc) to make it better.  And by Mary Kay I mean Pure Romance.  Like most at-home "parties" were things are being sold, it's a pyramid scheme set up.  I was a little underwhelmed by this host's planning since many of her toys were dying or dead, many things were out of stock.  After the presentation of the all the body creams/lubes/etc and vibrators (some of which could probably unscrew the studs from your walls if you held it up to the area long enough), we received a brochure (with prices) in exchange for a card with our information on it.  I was not tricked by this.  Not even a little.

Of course, some gems from the catalog.

Sleeping shirt: $89
Boyshirts w/ pockets: $79
Cami with fancy back and no built in bra: $79
Shorts: $69
Me: WWWWWTTTTTTFFFFF?????

This is the versatility page.  Tighten your vaj, stretch your vag...
/shiver
PS.  You can get a 10 pack of party condoms for $7 at Walmart.

I ended up having a reaction to something that was sprayed on me.  I did buy some things, and if I have a reaction to those things, I'll be calling up the host for my money back.  Especially since all the lotions/lubes/etc were $20 a bottle.  For all the sizes.  3 oz.  20 oz.  $20. 

Please note, I'm not blaming the hostess, I'm blaming the company.  Some of the ladies in attendance were interested in some of the toys but after searching for the description of the items on Amazon, they realized that what Pure Romance was selling for $150+ was only $30 on Amazon (and free 2 day shipping).  And that's how pyramid schemes work.  :)

After the party ended, we headed over to Teh PT House to fetch husbands and hang out.  We did smoke hookah, which we hadn't done in a while.  Eventually, it was bedtime and we all headed home.  We didn't go to bed immediately, but stayed up chatting for a bit and then it was bedtime.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning, we planned on going to Holy City Brewing for brunch.  I got up early and did 4.75 miles and then took the dogs on a jog around the block, to which Pax said, kthxfuckyou and we ended up walking the last quarter of the block because he was NOT having it.  Meri was in her element pulling me along.  Both dogs were sooooo quiet for the rest of the day.  It took me less than 5 minutes to leash them up and jog them around the circle and it was probably one of the smartest decisions I'd made all month (last 30 days or ya know, for April, you choose).

Teh PT Wife reminded me the night before that I had also committed us to going to Teh PT Husband's parents for Easter lunch, so Teh German agreed to split something with me so we would be able to eat again at 2.

Lemon-lime soda, Bellini, beer.

Easter Eggs for an appetizer!!!!
Deviled eggs with pimento cheese, ground mustard, and pork rinds.
It was ahhmazing.

Teh German and I split the chicken and waffle and Teh Advising Sister got Fish and Grits.  Teh Advising Sister was leaving Charleston from brunch, so Teh German and I had taken the bikes.  It was a great ride.  ~70°F is my optimum riding temp.

We went home after brunch to skype/facetime with the Germans.  We were late to Easter dinner, but everyone understood and I had told them when I knew we were going to be late not to wait on us.  We were only 30 minutes late, but considering when the chats started, we were ok with that. 

Teh Italian Yankee Mom outdid herself with lunch.  There was salad, lasagna, ham, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, and there was also green beans with pinto beans and rice and pork.  It was like Southern food met Italian food and made babies.  Everything was delicious.  THEN there were no less than 5 options for dessert.  It wasn't even a discussion between Teh German and I, we knew we wouldn't be eating dinner later.

I was a spoil sport and had to leave "early" so I could accomplish my homework.  It was just as depressing as you can imagine.  Conveniently, Teh German arrived home right as I finished my homework.  We were able to squeeze in 2 episodes of Vikings and I'm sad that Floki is being Loki-ish, which isn't really surprising, but we'll see what happens.

Then it was time for bedtime chores and sleepy time.

______________________________________________

Overall, a great weekend.  I'm excited for Teh Advising Sister to close on her house so we can come and visit Raleigh!  We discussed all kinds of house things.  It was also fun to go out downtown since that's not something I normally do.  It was an awesome visit!

Homework is kind of in a lull right now because we're in that "it's almost the end of the semester" period where we start prepping for finals and we're taking tests if we have any more before our final exam.  I did some more thinking about my summer class dilemma and I think I'm going to take Calc 2 this summer and leave Chem 2 and the lab for next summer.. maybe even at a different school if it's offered?  IDK.  I did finally come to the conclusion that I probably will not be able to handle a class I hate, Chemistry, a lab for said class, AND a difficult computer science class in a single month AND do well. 

PS.  When I told Papa G that I was getting 1's and 2's (A's and B's) in school he was proud and that made me happy that I make the effort to get A's and B's.  Last semester I was satisfied with passing because wedding and first semester and new things.. but this semester the bar has been raised because those reasons are no longer applicable. 

This week includes:
-Local elections tomorrow
-Bio Test which is probably not going to go well.
-New cleaners will come to give a new estimate.
-Saturday is the Bridge Run.  I might actually be ready if I can get my ass out of the bed either Tues or Weds morning for a run.

23 days until no more Spring 2018 semester classes!
28 days until my last exam is over!
45 days until the honeymoon adventure begins!

(Oh fuck, maybe I should book the Sydney lodging!)

Five on Friday #141

EINS - Random things

-I was talking to the vets in my Calc class and admitted that I used to play World of Warcraft, to which they responded, so did we.  Then I also admitted that I was really having a "craving" to go mining in WoW and they completely understood.  #NerdsUnite

-Let's talk about rage for a moment.  My photoshop professor's grading and the inability to make a perfect score on any assignment.  Our most recent project was to create 3 panoramas in photoshop.  This is actually a very simple task and I have actually shot photos specifically for the purpose of making them into a panorama, so I was ready.  I stitched together my 3 panoramas, set the auto color/contrast/etc on all of them (because I am an over-contrastor and over-greener) because that's what he tends to prefer based on feedback from other projects I've submitted.  I actually submitted 4 instead of 3 by accident and still only made a 190/200 points.  He didn't leave comments on this one for me to know why I lost points.

Here's my real problem.  There is no grading rubric anywhere.  Not even the assignments are posted with a rubric of requirements.  So grading is completely subjective.  /RAGE

I let another student use some of my photos for her projects and I'm interested to see what grade she made.
Final note: The teacher let several students leave to take photos for the project during class time and didn't tell them how to shoot for a panoramic.  I was the one who finally brought it up after another student was asking me if I thought his pictures would work (no).  I know that this is an arts class and it's really a senior blow off class, but I feel like I've learned nothing and what I thought was going to be an easy A isn't because of the instructor's subjectivity.  My only goal is to get an A in that class because it's Photoshop.  I learned more watching YouTube videos than I have in this class.

-In lieu of a biology lab this week, I'm pretty sure we had sex ed, but used a microscope to look at what Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, yeast (like from a yeast infection), and a louse (head, not pubic) look like to call it "lab."  This isn't actually worth commenting on.. except that... The Citadel is more than 90% male, and that does NOT bother me in the slightest.

What bothers me is that probable-sexually-active adult males were asking questions about birth control because they don't know about it.  I was educating my instructor on Depo-Provera and he was using it as an in-class example of birth control.  THIS IS NOT OK.  I do not claim to know everything there is to know about being male, but I feel confident about my level of knowledge about male birth control options (yeah, I know they are limited), but here's my thing.  Birth control is a TWO WAY STREET, if you are using it responsibly as a decision NOT to have a child and/or a means to protect yourself from a sexually transmitted disease.  The instructor even pointed out that women have most of the burden when it comes to birth control, which kinda made me want to punch him in the face.

NEWS FLASH!
Sex isn't awkward unless you let it be.  I can (almost) guarantee that your parents had sex and so did your Granny and even your great-great-great-great-grandparents.  Based on biology, sex is not only completely normal, it's natural.  There are scientific reasons that we want to have sex.  All too often, people associate sex with shame and then it becomes a taboo and kids think they have to sneak around to have sex.

I believe that sex isn't shameful and normalizing sex will help reduce teen pregnancy.  It will also open lines of communication between teenagers and adults.  To villainize or shame feelings about sex is to make it more appealing to teenagers.  My thing is that teenagers (and even some children) are going to have sex no matter what.  To have open lines of communication about that means that teenagers/children can make educated decisions about their bodies with the help of an adult.

Obviously, I feel quite strongly about this.
PS.  If you want me to give your kid the birds and the bees talk, I'm available.

-Midterm grades:

• Photoshop - A (but barely, grrr)
• Computer Science 2 - A (because I do my homework)
• Calculus 1 - B (which is because I love derivatives)
• German 2 - A (but it won't last if I don't step up my game)
• Biology 2 - B (this is a blow off class for me to meet a requirement that my NCSU credits didn't fulfill even though I fulfilled it already, #DGAF)
• Biology 2 Lab - A (duh)

I'd like to pull both B's up to an A, but I'm not sure if it will be possible.  We shall see.
As always, passing is the minimum requirement, but all A's is preferable.

-Spring break is next week!  I've got the "spring break itis" so bad this I can't accurately describe it, but trust me, school is not where I want to be.

-Teh Running Bestie will be here next week!  She's bring FOUR dogs with her and I'm excited and I'm not telling Teh German because, 1- I'm an asshole, 2- I don't want to deal with his stress about "all the dogs" until they arrive (ugh, just no on the drama llama), 3- I kind of want to see his reaction when he comes home to SIX dogs in the house, 4- I am excited to have 6 dogs in the house, 5- There will be 4 humans and 6 dogs, we can handle it.

-Teh Advising Sister is coming over Easter weekend and I'm puuuuumppped.  She was here for the wedding, but she made the commute and before that, she was here when House was in-progress, so she gets to see the final results!

-70 days until we start our honeymoon adventure(s)! 

-Meri's 4th Gotcha Day was this week and that fuzz-bucket is a decision that was an easy choice once it was right in front of me.  It took me a while to warm up to the idea of 2 dogs, but once she came home, it was like she was exactly what we'd been missing.

My Monkey-Doodle still has that Podenco crazy, but she's changed soooo much in our 4 years together.  When she came home, she was full of puppy terrorism (to include losing all her baby teeth everywhere and then I'd step on them and cuss) and an addiction to stuffed mice.  Despite Phil's resistance to playing with her, she never bothered him.  Today, she's terrorized by Pax but she has to charge her batteries sometimes, which wasn't always a requirement.  She has never stopped dripping water all over my floors or whoring for butt scratches and she's definitely part cat with her desire to curl up and snuggle always.  I look forward to a decade more with my Wiggly-butt-doodlebug.

ZWEI - Money spent

• Annual vet visit for the Beasts
• Groceries, groceries, groceries, and more groceries.
• pest-control payment 
• water bill
• monthly homework assistant bill
• Sunday brunch
• new Camelbak since I lost mine on the dive trip and my old Nalgene doesn't have a straw 
• new laptop, wireless mouse, and case for Teh Granny.
• Eye doc appt + new glasses.
• Sentinel Spectrum for Pax
• Postage to mail Teh Granny her new tech
• probiotics for myself and the beasts.
• dog food auto-ship
• lunch on weds since a group of vet students were going to a place I hadn't been before. 
• It was an overpriced hipster shop and I won't make that mistake again.
• Dresser for the guest room (from FB marketplace)

DREI - Things from my phone

Cadbury, why you do me like this?
PS.  I used this as an opportunity to strengthen my immune system.

I got to select the colors...
Blue laptop, purple mouse, yellow sleeve.
#NoFavoriteColor

Took Yurtle through the car wash on Weds afternoon.
Parked here on Thursday morning...
Thanks Citadel for the "car wash" to collect all the pollen...
Please note, ONLY my car was in the direction of the sprinkler.
#FML

That probably looks like a bird or dot to you, but it is an E-2 Hawkeye and I'm 100% sure it doesn't live in Charleston and it's probably drunk and needs to go home before too many VX-1 bumblebee memories flood my brain.

Eye appointment on Tuesday for Teh German and I.
We got dilated!

If you've been around for a while, you probably remember my posts about finding the most ridiculous sunglasses.  Well, that game has now spread into the word of vision correction.  #NOTSORRY

If my teeth were worse, I'd look like Megan from Mad Men.

Lookin' like Teh Mom circa 1986-1997.

Lookin' like Teh MD-Teenage Roomie

I liked this color

EPIC NERD POWA!

I don't know why these are making a come-back, but no.

I told Teh German no on these for personal reasons.

I really loved the color of these, but I could see the green from the inside and it was very distracting.

Final selection.
I went with bigger lenses since my current glasses are a bit too narrow, which wasn't an issue before school.

VIER - Things from the Internet

FÜNF - 10 things that made me happy this week

1. Ideas for Wednesday blog posts..
2. SPRING MOTHERFUCKIN' BREAK
3. Lower anxiety med doses and having feelings and being clear again.
4. Getting Granny's laptop set up the day I received it and getting it mailed off the following day.  GETTING SHIT DONE.  BOOM.
5. Monday and Tuesday going quickly.
6. Classes ending early and decisions to skip certain classes on Friday.
7. A notable lack of homework over spring break.
8. Getting the laundry done in an afternoon.
9. 4 A's and 2 B's as my midterm grades. #LikeAFuckinBoss
10. Making plans for visitors!

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.