2022 Review

2022 was hard.

There I said it.

2022 was a year I'd prefer to not review, in fact.  I've been staring at this screen for hours and not putting words on the screen because I'd prefer to not feel those feelings again.  I'd prefer to put all the things in their tiny boxes and only pull down the good tiny boxes. But that is not the purpose of a year end review.  I'd say it's for showing you all the things we did this year, but this year consisted of 3 main themes: dogs, working out (running/crossfit), and struggles.  Sometimes those 3 things even overlapped, an actual trifecta, if you will.

2021 was full of new adventures in MD.  There were struggles and achievements, but the rollercoaster didn't feel 2022 drastic.  2022 feels like I should have taken some motion sickness medication before the ride started.  2022 is full of dirty laundry that doesn't need to be aired on a public platform and so I try to focus on all the other things, the literal running away from my problems, instead of focusing on the negative things.

January started off just fine.  It snowed, there were dog snugs, 2022 began without a hitch.

February is birthday month and Teh German came through with a spa day for us and I may have one upped him with a trip to Vegas (for a race), where I bought him a Porsche driving experience and took him to both the Western and Southern rim of the Grand Canyon.  Also, I had my hairs did and then I had a stupid bang (yes singular because it wasn't like a full fray it was only a tiny section of like 20 hairs) from breakage and I really hated it.

March is when the tribulations really began.  Our basement flooded (again) and no one could figure out why it was flooding.  There was also running and that bang.  We got some estimates for having a deck built, butttt then the whole sewer thing deterred that good idea.

April is when we learned that the sewer line that runs from our house to the public line had been BORED through and it wasn't actually connected to the public system, so really we'd been fertilizing the yard since whenever that had happened.  We had to pay for the repairs and we were told we'd get all the money back.... eventually.  Our fence was also damaged by the neighbor's landscapers AND one of the gates broke because of a windstorm.  All things that had to be repaired.  Which means people had to be contacted and harassed.  Dislike.  Also, that bang was now in my eyes.

May included a trip to "DC Disneyland" aka the Mormon temple which is opened every 50 years to the public, so that was kinda cool and a few races and lots of dog snugs.  Also, our garage started leaking in earnest.  Leaking to the point of needing repairs.. but oh yeah, we'd spent all our funds on fixing the sewer line that wasn't our fault.  Jokes about the bang started.  I threatened to just cut it off.

June was when the rollercoaster started picking up speed.  There was running and a visit from Teh BFF and my first ever Pride parade and a Starset concert.. but the worst part was having to let Sandra Dee go.  It was her time and we got 2 very unexpected years with her, but it hurt the MOST.  Like, I knew it was the right thing and I'm still not over it.  To the point that I put in a rescue application with the local Wolfhound group last week.

July was fireworks, dog sitting (and subsequent dog drama that has caused continuous relationship strife), Teh Bestie's bday celebration, rage job applications, and a trip to NC where I was able to spend a good day with my Granny (which I didn't know at the time was "a good day" and now I treasure it even more), a hike with Teh BFF while I was at home, home, and my first Drum Corps International show.  Like the predictable woman I am, when major life changes started happening, I cut my hair.  This mostly solved the bang problem.

August included a trip to Wisconsin to deliver Spinny Penny and buy all the cheese, a trip to WV to do some running in the woods, a trip to Oregon for more running, my first mammogram because I found a lump, a day-drinking bday celebration, lots of dog sitting, and finding out my Granny is actually very sick.

September, I started a new job, I got covid (literally couldn't go to my new job on the first day because I had covid and I also missed a race), did the DC Bike Ride, did some dog sitting, went to our first Orioles game, and ran 2 Ragnars. Also, solved a financial mystery that had been plaguing me for months (nope, not the sewer line repayment, but was still in contact with those people too) that gave me a lot of feelings. 

October was running and dogs and going into the office and getting injured while running.  It was fucking terrible being injured.  More dealing with sewer things.  Lots of unresolved feelings and rage about the financial mystery.

November was injury recovery, leaves, visiting the Hirshhorn museum, our 5 year anniversary, the birth of my new favorite person: my niece, getting to see Pucifer at the Warner Theater, Thanksgiving, and finally we wrapped up the month by cashing the reimbursement check for the sewer line repair.  After months and months and months (since May) of me having to send regular emails "regarding the status of this issue", I finally got some traction in Sept/Oct when I spoke with their insurance broker.  It was a sweet relief.

December held my 30th and 31st/final races of the year, Christmas adventures in Baltimore (the market and holiday lights), dog sitting, and throwing out my back.  And soon will be Crimmus (as Teh German has taken to saying) and then New Years Eve/Day.

I'd share photos, but it's a lot.  I'm tired and I looked through the monthly photo albums to jog my memory to actually write all this.. and also I don't want to have feelings.  Ironically, I was referred to and made a psychologist appointment for later this week.  Now that we've been repaid for the sewer repairs, we get to turn our attention on fixing the garage, which is proving difficult because no one seems to want to do the work and if they are willing, they want to charge us $40,000. Kthxnope.

When I write it all out, it doesn't seem like 2022 was such a bad year.  I did many fun things: ALL THE RUNNING!  All the workouts!  So much travels!  

But 2022 feels HEAVY in a way that 2021 felt shiny and new.  Maybe it's the lack of processing all the things, maybe it's grief, maybe it's the relationships that have irrevocably altered, maybe it's the decision to stay, even if walking away was the easier option (that is not a suicide reference, but it is purposely vague sorry not sorry), maybe it's because I've felt responsible for so many things that I'm finally willing to walk away from because I'm tired.  I'm not really sure.  But I know a shift is coming (has been coming?) and I'm ready to close the book on the 2022 chronicles. 

Dear Muppet,

I'd give anything for another one of your kisses or for you to drag me down the driveway again at a full sprint or to come into the living room and see you huffing and stomping because Pax was in your spot or for you to just be sitting on the couch.  You changed my life in ways I didn't see until it was over and now I can't unsee how you broke me open.  I miss you my bestest Wuffie-Wuffs and I hope there's not a single shuffle happening anymore.  -Yer Mahm.

Turning the Page

On Friday, when it hit me that I'd no longer have a .mil account, for the first time since 2008.. I was kinda shell shocked.  There's some BIG BIG changes going down in my/our world and it's very slowly starting to hit me and this was one of the first real acknowledgments that things are gonna change and then there were FEELINGS.  Ugh.

Many of you noticed in the last few months that I was dealing with some work strife.  After finishing school, I had planned to move on to a technical position with the same company that I had worked with since getting out of the Navy, but they didn't want to move me and I was beyond frustrated with additional tasking I had been given that was not anything related to technical writing... so in a fit of rage, I started applying for jobs.

Civilian jobs, government jobs.  Jobs in South Carolina (SC) and Colorado (CO) and Washington DC and Maryland (MD).  Intel jobs and computer science jobs and I was even open to some tech writer jobs under certain conditions.  COUNTLESS applications put in and resumes sent out.  A handful of recruiter calls and possibilities. A handful of phone and video interviews.  Numerous rejections, 3 selections, 2 opportunities turned down (despite the higher salaries of both), and ultimately, 1 acceptance.

At the very beginning of July, a perfect opportunity presented itself and I was notified that I landed the job within 2 hours of finishing the interview.  But then I had to wait half my life (approximately) for my background check to clear (because COVID + government + reinvestigation) and that gave me too much time to second guess and third guess and thirty-third guess my choices. 

I hemmed and hawed and you probably already knew this, but Teh German is the real MVP here.  He dealt with my #MeganProblems for a month and a half.  He listened to me play devil's advocate with myself about what the best decision was and watched as I continued to apply for other jobs "just in case" (aka, Megan is ridiculous). And let's be honest... Without Teh German, I wouldn't be where I am today.  He was my #1 cheerleader through school and when I asked him if he was reeeeeeaaaalllllyyy ok with moving to MD so I could take a technical job (aka use my computer science degree), he said yes (even if he was moderately hesitant).

For him, moving to MD wasn't in the plans.  We had already decided our next move was to CO.  But there were no jobs for me in CO and Teh German was well-aware just how unhappy I was with (now) Former Company.  He'd listened to the rants and seen the tears and ragey FB posts.  When the Dept of Justice (DOJ) finally notified me that I was cleared for "duty", I didn't immediately know what to do.  I knew what I WANTED to do, but I also knew that there were some other opportunities on the table that maybe should be considered... but most importantly, I wanted to sit down with Teh German and give him ONE LAST opportunity to say, "Yeah, let's not move from SC unless it's to CO."  This was a valid option because I had a contact at NIWC in Charleston that wanted to bring me on, but it was a matter of time.

For Teh German, moving means finding and starting a new job 8 months after he just started his current job.  The job that we had to hire a lawyer to mitigate not getting sued by his German company.  The job he likes.  It means moving away from the only place he's ever lived in America, his comfort zone, if you will. 

For both of us, it means leaving the GLCK and our SC Framily and nothing breaks my heart more, as we are sooo fortunate to have found such great people who live on our street and love us for all our weirdness.

...But..
Teh German said...
"Do it, babe.  This is what you worked for.  You tried to get a job with [Former Company] and they wouldn't take you, so if this is what you want...  DO IT.  I support you."

^^The real MVP, yall.

And I said yes to the final offer and then had so much anxiety! 

We obviously hadn't planned on moving in the next 2 years, much less 6 months.  I had planned Charleston runs through 2021.  Our tickets to Barbados in October leave from Charleston.  I had been with Former Company for 5.5 years and I am loyal AF.  I mean, they dealt with 3 years of me going to school full-time and working full-time.  They let me telework from Germany so I could study abroad.  They let me telework after my hip surgery.  We drank in the office.  I had it made.  But I was soooo unhappy these last 3 months that it was unbearable and that made the decision easier.

So.. today was my first day at DOJ.  On Saturday, I drove up to MD to stay with Teh Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass.  We hung out over the weekend and today I was able to take the Metro into DC to get to the office to pick up my equipment and get my ID card. 

Since most things government related are still at max telework, I'll be headed back to SC this week.  By the end of this week, I'll be calling the realtor to start the process of getting the house ready to put on the market.  In a fortunate turn of events, Teh German accepted a new job in MD within the last week which is also operating at max teleworking.... which means 2 things... 1- We'll both be working from home for the foreseeable future, 2- There isn't a pants on fire rush to complete a move. 

Our current plan is to put the house on the market and live in it while it's under contract until we have to leave.  At which point, we'll move into Teh Chief Smartass/Teh Bestie's basement.  During the under contract/basement dweller time, we will be house hunting in MD and hopefully this less stressful situation will give us the ability to be more selective with the house we ultimately buy.

So yeah.. that's the full rundown of the current situation.
Teh Ville is relocating and hopefully we'll be unpacking Teh Ville 3.0 (shitty house, Charleston house, MD house) by Christmas.

But also... new ID photo yall.
I wasn't allowed to show teeth.  The first photo had 6 chins and I wasn't even looking at the camera, so we had a redo to get this gem.  The other lady that was onboarding with me today said we looked like the daughter's of Trump because we are ORANGE, I mean check out how white my neck is...  Could that lighting be any worse?  Also, my shiny face is from sweating incessantly because of walking around and wearing non-breathable clothing and a MASK.

Browser Crashed: too many tabs open.

There's a funny meme that goes around about too many tabs.

So if you were wondering what happened to me, it was like that except my entire browser crashed and my computer was all BSOD (blue screen of death) and rather than deal with it, I just walked away.  

In the computer science world, you learn about threads.  Threads are processes that can run at the same time as each other, doing different tasks. Sometimes these tasks are related, sometimes they are not.  Sometimes your threads have to wait for processing power to run, sometimes they are waiting for another task to finish executing.  Threads share resources (memory) but do things independent of each other, which makes multi-tasking possible and why multi-processor computers are "fast".

But sometimes, threads have errors, usually caused by deadlock (infinite waiting) and have to be debugged (untangled).  And that was when I walked away.  I was tired of ALL the threads.  I was tired of the waiting/spinning.  I was tired of too many processes.  My processor done burnt out.  So I walked away from this blog.  I walked away from almost everything extraneous in my life.  I needed a hard reset.

I operated in high-power multi-threaded mode for 3 years.  I had three main threads, home, school, and work, and all the different processes within those main threads were all operating on high for 3 years.  Sometimes, there were errors, but I managed to debug them rather quickly and kept the rest of the processing running while in debug mode.  And then.. my number of main threads reduced by one and it was just home and work and my processor didn't know how to process just 2 threads anymore.

But then one of my two threads, work, started getting errors and the debugging process wasn't working.  So I decided that it was time to terminate that thread and start with a fresh work thread.  When you're new at coding (like me), it takes a LOT of work to create new code for threads... to mean, applying for jobs and interviewing and waiting for background checks (an absolutely tedious, long drawn out process that makes me frustrated and stabby) and it's just a matter of wading through it until something finally works out (i.e. you finally start a new job).

And like it happens in the tech world, when one thing fucks up, everything fucks up, so the home thread was also like, ehhh here's a few errors from us too, just to make sure you're still paying attention.  Nothing big, just like missing EOL (end of line) markers, simple fixes to the code that require a bit more attention than you're giving to the problem.

So yeah.  That's where I've been.. debugging/resetting my 2 threads.

I bunkered down because I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know what was going on and there were specific people that I knew I didn't want to know and I have no way of knowing if they read this (it is an accepted risk that I take, even though I have like 5 confirmed Gentle Readers).  Truthfully, I wasn't looking for opinions or commiseration or advice, which is a large reason why I vanished.  Additionally, I felt like I was whining 98% of the time, which is fine since it is MY platform, but at the same time, there comes a point when you annoy yourself and I was there.

I've gotten to where I rarely leave "the compound" (home) these days just because the effort to go out is too much (some might call that... depression, as going out is not the only task that is "too much effort").  Grocery orders must all be picked up on the same day and going into the store is rarely worth it.  I do go to the Chiro out of absolute necessity, but I go on a day that I already need to go out for something else, if possible.

In my time away, I did a lot of running and had some interviews and applied for more jobs and we had some visitors and we took the bikes up to the Tail of the Dragon in TN/NC to ride and we came up with a life plan and I've played a lot of WoW and I've barely been reading anything (books, other blogs, anything that requires focus/brain power) and I've just been doing whatever the fuck I want... and it's fabulous in a limited life kind of way.  /shrug  At the same time, I've been dealing with overwhelming rage and stress and anxiety about the work thread, the current process and potential future processes related to that thread.

I haven't decided if I missed this space or not.  Part of me says yes, but part of me says no because it's one less pressure I put on myself.  IDK.  We'll see how it pans out.

The worst best day.

Today is the worst best day.

Today 3 years ago, I started my college career. I spent the morning at the vet with Phil, who we had to let go, then I went home for a little bit, made the announcement that Baggins was gone and the dragged myself down to the Citadel to speak with an advisor over a degree plan. I was late and explained I had put my dog down earlier that morning and she was like, "Why did you come? We could have rescheduled." I said, "Life has to go on."

And so it has. 

Exactly 3 years later, to the day, and within the same hour of meeting with that advisor, I completed my final final.

I'm relieved and anxious and scared and numb and happy and sad about it.  

Coinciding with that coincidence, I finally revealed a secret I had been keeping, the addition of a Sandra Dee (Sandy) to our pack. 

Today has been hard. I've been in my feelings about Phil and about school and next steps and the future + work frustrations + graduation disappointments and crushed expectations + the joy of 16 legs in the house and I'm all over the place. 

I write this as my Monkey-Doodle sleeps beside me on the couch, and my Paximoose sleeps on my other side on the floor (his choice, there's a bed within a foot of him), and Husband sits on the couch across from me with the Floofernoodle asleep at his feet. 

Despite the roller coaster of emotions and feelings, the strongest feeling I have is that of contentment. 

This is my life. 

This is what I work for. 

This is what I've earned. 

This is enough. 

PS.  I'll catch you up soon on the last few weeks.  Obviously, it's been crazy around here.

Prequel to the 3/11 Weekend Review

Some of you may have noticed that I was MIA on Friday.  Some of you maybe didn't.  It's fine, my feelings aren't hurt.  Either way, I wasn't around and my normal Friday post wasn't drafted, so crickets from me.

But this post is to provide some explanation for the post you will see tomorrow.

From last week:
Gentle Readers... this last month has been a fucking roller coaster.  Like, from birthday festivities, to running, to drama between Teh German and I, to the midterm slam at school (homework in every class compared to homework in maybe 3 classes), to incessant stupid shit at work because FORMS (I wish I was kidding), to hurting all over because running+massage+working out... and it was weighing on me in an oppressive way that meant taking a lexapro to sleep.. To the point, I gave myself a stress neck rash (this is not the first time in my life that this has happened to me).

I was gritting my teeth and bearing it.  I can do this.  I've ridden this ride before.  I know this cycle well.  I am burnt out and a break is on the horizon but it's so far away.  And there are so many things in a hold pattern than I'm waiting to fall into place.. which feels like a constant state, but sometimes those things I'm waiting on are HUGE and sometimes not so much... but this time, those things are HUGE and that means anxiety and stress and an oppressive weight that feels like it's crushing me.

See image for accurate depiction:

And, finally, this last week, I started to see the light.  My patient digging finally coming to fruition.  But Tuesday.. Tuesday I finally made a break in the rubble and popped my head out from under the pile.

Homework was plodded through and got accomplished with the help of partners and professors.
A green card was printed and put in the mail.. and received.
A scholarship was received.
The Laundry Fairy even came to visit (despite warnings that she'd went on Spring Break early).

It was the kind of day that makes you question why you ever thought it was a shit week/month.  It was the kind of day that took the top half of the rock pile off my shoulders.  It was the kind of day that makes you grateful for every struggle.  It was the kind of day that makes you realize, your prayers were heard, even if they were quick mumbles and sometimes in jest (but really, Jesus, take the wheel is something I say so frequently, it is a real prayer at this point).  The kind of day you worry about telling people about, because what if you jinx yourself?  The kind of day that is actually completely unbelievable that it happened to YOU.

But, it did.

Teh German's green card is in the mail.  IT IS ON IT'S WAY TO OUR HOUSE.  TO BE IN HIS HANDS.  A process he's been working on since last April.  Teh German's green card has ARRIVED.  I've held it in my hands.  I've never seen him more relieved/excited than when he held that card in his hands.  It's a moment I will remember.  I wish I could have gotten a photo.

I received a scholarship for my study abroad this summer.. a $6000 scholarship!  I was maybe expecting a $1000 scholarship, maybe.  But $6000?!  I happy cried.  This means no needing to take an online class while I'm in Germany, for the GI Bill money.  It means getting to completely let myself study abroad without flexing my work hours or having to take an online class for the money.  It means I'm 100% getting to do the study abroad I've dreamed about doing for my ENTIRE life and I will not be pulled in 100 different directions.. which will kinda be like a vacation for me, lol.

Later in the week, when I signed the award letter, I discovered the scholarship was for up to $6000, which is definitely different than actual $6000.  This was disappointing.  I'm still not sure how much I'll be getting exactly, but I also applied for German scholarships.  I know in the end, this will all wash out, but the meantime is stressful.

So the roller coaster analogy?  100% accurate.

That said.. when you see the weekend review, now you'll understand..

Final note: It is now officially spring break and really the most pressing thing on my mind is getting homework done so I don't have to worry about it.  May 2020 cannot come soon enough.

Problems and Solutions

Real Talk Wednesday.. back again!

I'm the kind of person that when one thing goes wrong, a series of things will, inevitably, also, go wrong.  I've accepted this about myself.  I've learned to laugh at the challenges (mostly to stave off tears) and the ridiculousness of the situations that befall me.

But recently, I found myself juggling so many things at once and I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, why they were OMG PANTS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW MUST SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS important.

I know I said don't postpone problem solving in this post, but this was like a whole new level of tackling ALL THE THINGS RIGHT NOW.  Not only was I trying to focus my attention on multiple problems, but I needed IMMEDIATE solutions to all of the problems.  Problems that didn't need to be solved in the next few days, hours, or, for some things, even weeks.

I couldn't figure out what my problem was.
Then I heard a small voice in my head say, "Back away, Crazy."
So small, I barely heard it.  I've heard this voice before, but I try not to listen to it.  It's the voice that tells me, "Take a breath, now take another one, and another."  And then, I start getting amped up again, and it says, "Stopppp.  Take a breath.  Keep taking those breaths.  Slllloooowwww doooowwwwnnnnnnn, Megan.  Slow down."

This voice knows me.  This voice knows that if it says, "Relax, it will be fine," I will lose my shit.  I'll exponentially amp up to the point of an outburst or tears.  Because that voice knows that the r-word is the wrong word.  But mixing up the dialog helps.

Instead of "relax" my small voice, that often gets ignored (because I, obviously, am always in control and know exactly how to handle every situation, as of yesterday, thank you very much) knows to mitigate my anxiety and stress with gentle reminders to "slow down," "pause," and ask me, "Why is this important right now?"

Sometimes, that small voice has to get VERY loud for me to hear it... and more and more recently it's been having to yell at me.  Most recently it's been yelling,

Not every problem requires an immediate solution.

I know that's not a rocket science type of announcement for most people, but the day that the voice was yelling at me, it was a revelation.  Like, blew my own mind type of revelation.


Soooo often I get wrapped up in my problems.  Especially, when it's one thing after another.  Especially, when others have started to notice the black cloud that seems to hover over me.  Especially, when I feel that the problems have simple solutions.

But I am still human.  I am limited in my capabilities because there is only so much I can handle at once and so, so, soooo often, it feels like I'm the goalie and the entire team is shooting at me all at once and the coach expects me to block every.single.puck (it's hockey season, so yeah, pucks) that comes at me.

By the way, the coach is also me.  And, I'm also a few of the team members.  I really should be a better coach by not having the entire team shoot at the goalie all at once and, maybe, be a better team member by deciding not to shoot at my goalie, despite what the coach says. 

Mostly though, I really should back off my goalie.  Because the thing about all the pucks coming at you at once is that you definitely cannot block all of the pucks and worse, you might get hurt. 

Then, that voice reminded me...  I'm not the only goalie.  There's always a backup goalie, the 2nd string.

So, this is me, letting the small voice be heard.
I'm breathing.  I'm slowing down.  The joy is being taken away by trying to solve everything right now.  I'm reminding myself over and over and over and over and as many times as it takes, not every problem requires an immediate solution. 

And because I always need to be reminded:

Kindness.

There's a lot going on in the world today that just brings me down and makes me lose my faith in humanity... but my faith has been restored (at least for a little while).

After accidentally transferring money to not my intended recipient recently, I was able to get their phone number from PayPal (after I didn't get a response to my email) and make a Megan-level awkward phone call and ask a random stranger for my money back. The person said they would review their account and get back with me. Later, I received a text that they would send the money back to me. I quickly thanked them and wished them a happy holidays and the sentiment was returned.

I won't lie, this situation weighed heavily on me because it wasn't a small sum. What if the person wasn't willing to return the money? What if PayPal was like, "Not sorry you're an idiot." Telling Teh German was incredibly difficult because it was his money I had sent to a stranger.  So many shitty things could have come from the situation, but I was lucky and the end result was nothing like my worst nightmare(s).  

Many things weigh heavily on me these days. School, everything in the news, situations with friends that I can't make better... I feel lost and limited in what I can do to help make the world a better place and I had an epiphany (after coming through this PayPal situation mostly unscathed) and I realized exactly what I should do.

Be kind.
Not just to people who are like me or who agree with my opinions.. but to EVERYONE.

Kindness is a choice you make,
even when it's the difficult, most exhausting choice.
I find that it often happens to be the most rewarding choice.

This isn't to say give away all your time and money... I mean, unless that's what you want to do. But instead, smile at the stranger passing you on the street. Give someone waiting in line with you an unexpected compliment or start up a conversation about something trivial (this will definitely mean embracing the awkward). It might not make a huge difference in your life, but it could make a huge difference in the life of someone else.

Finally, be kind to yourself. I'm horrible for never letting myself off the hook, which results in a lot of stress when situations like this PayPal debacle come up. But I have to tell you a secret... I'm doing the best I can, and so are you. As long as we're doing the best we can, we're doing a great job.

TL;DR:

This year, I'm grateful for kindness.

Kindness showed to me.

Kindness I've been able to show to others.

Kindness I've learned to bestow upon myself.

WEDDING DAY IS TODAY!!!!

After 10.5 months of planning and almost 12 years of waiting (because let's be honest, I didn't really much want to get married before I was in my 20s), today is the day.

While Teh German and I have joked that we're really more looking forward to November 2nd so we no longer have to be planning this wedding, I have always been looking forward to November 1st more.  Not because of any of the details or getting to wear a wedding dress or even getting to see the people who are coming (if you're a wedding guest and you're reading this, sorry, but it's true), but I'm going promise to spend the rest of my life with the person who makes me incredibly happy and sometimes frustrated and sometimes mad and sometimes elated.

Teh German is one of the best team members I've found in my life up to now and I'm glad to make him a part of my team for forever.  I'm proud to stand in front of all our people and tell him how much I love him and make vows to do my best to love him for as long as I can.

I believe that words are extremely powerful and I've made a point to NOT call Teh German anything but "Boyfran" and eventually "Fiance".  I'm also very literal, so incorrect titles make my brain wrinkle.

Today, I officially will call him "Husband" or "Mein Mann" and I've been waiting for 10.5 months to get to call him that.  It's been especially hard NOT to call him that when he started wearing a silicone wedding band daily "to get used to wearing a ring" (hahahaha, cute nonetheless).  Today, he finally gets to put on his wedding band and hear me call him the "h-word"!

I'm sure there were be no shortage of photos of us in the near future (also, our hashtag is #MegMo2017, so you might find something on Instagram or maybe even Facebook, but for now, I will share a few gems from the past 2 years.

The first secret-not-secret picture I took of Teh German on our 2nd date.

Our first road trip to NC.

The first wedding we attended together.

Teh German's first time in Tennessee.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich for halloween!

Photobooth silliness at the chili cookoff.

Our first run together

First Stingrays game

Teh Sister's wedding

Rugged Maniac run

House in progress

The day we closed on House.

Visiting castles in Germany

Our first anniversary.

We ran at Disneyland

We ran the James Island Connector 10k

Our first selfie in Baloo, Teh German's new truck.

Timo proposed at Disney and I was a real girl and cried and was completely surprised.

Winter at the beach.

Engagement photos

The day we adopted Pax.

Teh German "snuggling" with me on the couch after my hip surgery.

At the Highland Games in NC.

90s night

That one time we worked as a team to cut down a tree in the backyard without taking out the fence or hitting House.

Solar eclipse selfie.

Celebrating my first day of school with ice cream.

Our last first-date-aversay before we're married.