Life is good.. and I'm grateful.

Usually, every year around Thanksgiving your FB/myspace/twitter/whatever-social-media-you-use feed explodes with "30 days of thankfuls" or "I'm so thankful for.. blah blah blah" posts.  This year, I didn't really feel like I got as much of that.  Or maybe I would have if I didn't have so many people blocked?  Who knows.

Personally, I try not to play into all that hype of doing it just because everyone on Facebook is doing it.  I'm a rebel like that.  Nonetheless, off the the I'm so thankfuls definitely were reminders of everything that I have to be thankful for.  And, just to note, I was thinking about this laundry list of things WELL BEFORE Thanksgiving time rolled around.  I mean, I've been listening to Christmas tunes since September?

But, I really do have a lot to be thankful for, and not just because its Thanksgiving...  but because even when I think my life really sucks, it really doesn't.

(image)

For instance:
Living in Bahrain meant being away from my family for yet another year.  But I building up my savings account, which has definitely made coming back to America and paying for Real Life much easier.  I learned about working long shifts, which made me grateful for being able to get off work before dark.  I couldn't wear my uniform off base, which makes me appreciate being able to get ready at home and drive to work now.  I got my IDW, I got a NAM, I did some cool work, I met some awesome people.  While I will tell everyone for a very long time that Bahrain was the pits (which it is), it wasn't as bad as it could have been, not that I would have wanted to find out what could have been was.

I am grateful for many things:

-the support of my family/friends/Teh Bear.
There are days that I go without talking to these very important people (with the exception of Teh Bear who I do talk to everyday at least for a few minutes on bad days (good days=more than a few minutes)).  There have been days that I've talked to them several days in a row.  No matter what, I know they are there for me, always.  Like Teh Dad organizing the purchase of Indigo Montoya/Teh Turtle.  Like Teh BFF dealing with Teh ZepZep when he was down and out.

-having a job.
There's a lot of hubba-ballew going down on Wall Street right now about some job crap.  Ok, its not really crap, but I haven't really kept up with it because I have a job, which doesn't give me an excuse to be ignorant about world events, but some people are whinin', some people are bitchin', some people have legit complaints, and no one seems to have any solutions.  I have a good job.  It's plain and simple.  I could still be a server at Texas Roadhouse, but instead, I signed a contract and said, I'll be your peon US Government.  I might not like my job everyday, but I have job security for now, and for that I'm grateful.

-the ability to afford things.
This obviously stems from the last point.  Moving back to America is FAR, FAR from cheap.  I had to find a place to live, which the military does give me money for, but everywhere wanted a piece my first born child every month for a decent place to live.  I had to buy things that I didn't have: a car, furniture, things for the kitchen that I had to leave in Bahrain due to power sockets/voltage differences, clothes for winter, a chair to sit in until the furniture arrives or the packout get delivered.. THINGS.  Things that just keep adding up, that make me feel super materialistic, but at the same time.. Teh Dad says, "You're investing in your household."  Oh, am I?  Pretty sure I should just go buy some Kohl's stock.

-having things.
I have a still new computer, a brand new car, a brand new bed, brand new furniture (which will be delivered at some point in the next 3 months..), a new place to live, a new job, the ability to make new friends, new kitchen toys, new purses, new sheets.. Things.  While pointing all this stuff out makes me feel materialistic, I know there are people in Africa who live in a mud hut with a pottery vase for water from the river and a crude pot to cook over the fire with with 1 set of clothes...  So yes, its materialistic, I acknowledge that.  But, I also vow to make delicious goods with my brand new KitchenAid stand mixer and distribute them to people I know (this is me not being greedy, see?).  I also know that these things don't represent ME.  That having things doesn't make me a better person.  But having things makes my life more comfortable.  They aren't necessary, but they are definitely nice.

-being me.
Being away from friends/family, not being in America, putting on a uniform, sometimes these things make me feel like little parts of me are chipped away.  Having to deal with life without my peeps, living in a place where its not acceptable to say things I normally would or dress a particular way, being in uniform and having to follow rules that I don't always like...  these things are sometimes difficult for me to accept.  Not that I didn't choose this life, but Teh Megan who goes home to be with her peeps, who doesn't have to put on a uniform, in America.. she's a bit different than Teh Megan who was in Bahrain.  Granted, these things have also altered my personality in some ways (most would say for the better), but I notice a difference when I get to be with my people and not feel like I have to limit myself on things that are very ME.

I hate it when other people are right.... and I hate it more when someone is referred to as "Brother"....  (image)

Sometimes these things come to me when I'm driving down the road.  How I'm in Teh Turtle and its still new and it needs to be washed (how if I was in Bahrain it would get washed every day, but by an Arab, and man its delightful that most everyone speaks a variation of English I can understand) and how lucky I am to have been able to visit NC and NJ and how awesome the weather is (no matter what the weather is as long as its not over 75°F) and how delightful smelling my favorite fabric softener is and how it works so well on my new sweater and then my American cell phone might ba-dunk or Drrroid at me, and I smile because that's someone in America sending me a text or a notification from Facebook, and how I have a really good life.

And I believe the quote.  I believe that the more grateful I am for my life, the people in my life, the things I have, the more I that appreciate all that I have (vs how I couldn't have them) and the more happiness I feel.  Life is cool like that.  Tricky, but oh so awesome.

Small habits that haven't changed yet...

So, I'm officially an American again.  Not that I actually wasn't an American at any point, but it sure started to feel that way for a bit there.

I'm livin' in America.  I've purchased Starbucks more than once.  I've had fast food.  I ate at Subway for the first time since GTMO.  I had American McDonald's.  I've had to resist honking my horn at people.  I've been driving in MPH instead of KPH.  I've had to look out for cops and unmarked cars along the highways.  When going out to eat, there wasn't a 30 minute wait between my food arriving and the waiter/waitress returning to the table.  I saw most of Teh Family in my minimal (2.5ish, thank you rotator delay) days in NC.  I crossed state lines.  I have been able to fulfill plans.  I spent dollars instead of dinar.  I've spent 10 minutes trying to find the correct place to change the time format from Bahrain time to Eastern time for the blog (you'd think if you changed the time for one Google application (calendar), it would change the time for all your Google applications, apparently not).

Honestly, its amazing.  I feel like I could just keep repeating that over and over.  I feel like my FB wall has become a devotional shrine to how awesome being back in America is.  This makes me feel kinda bad for the friends I have that are still in Bahrain and have to see my America smut.  Sorry guys and gals, I just can't help it.  I've become one of those people.  I hate it, but I can't help it.  Seriously.

And maybe a lot of it isn't because I'm back in America so much as I feel like I'm finally starting a real life.  Now you're like, you're cuurently having your real life, Teh Megan!  You're correct, Gentle Reader, I am.  But, for the first time in my adult life, I now own my own bed.  No jk.  I didn't have my own bed until I was almost 26 years old.  That's the life of a chronic mover.  I also only owned handed down furniture.  Just a note: there is nothing wrong with hand-down furniture, its free, you're probably taking it off someone else's hands...  But, there's just something very "real life" and "adult" about owning your own furniture.  The knowing that next time you move/PCS, you will probably actually have to worry about weight limits is mysteriously thrilling.

But, despite all these great things, there are still things that I haven't gotten used to yet.

-The button/handle to flush the toilet being on the side of the toilet instead of on the top/center of the lid.
-High speed internet being slow (which I only know when/if someone else tells me, since I'm used to crappy internet).
-Having a cell phone that is connected to the internet, that I can update FB from.
-Having a smartphone.
-Text messages to my phone that are from people that live in America.
-Not being able to call my Bahrain peeps.
-Temps being in Fahrenheit.
-Being able to pay for everything with plastic.
-Not honking at idiots on the road (Teh Bear always likes to warn me, "You never know who is carrying a gun.")
-Not being honked at.  (I did get honked at today and thought to myself, "pfft, I had so much space, you're an idiot, save your honkin' for something better."  Hello desensitiatization...)
-Traffic lights changing from red to green instead of red-yellow to green.
-My new car and all its perks and surprises (automatic lights, push button start, back up camera).
-The idea of getting time off for holidays (after most of the last 2 years getting minimal to no time off, I'm like Pavlov's dog).
-Blogging again.

Hopefully, this is me getting back into the blogging routine.  I've not uploaded the photos on my camera since before I left Bahrain, mostly due to the crappy internet I've had to deal with since moving out of my flat in Bahrain.  I've got photos of adventures in Bahrain, adventures of my flights to get home, adventures of being in NC, new car smut, adventures of getting to MD, adventures with Teh Bear, and soon enough there will be adventures of my trip to NJ!  So many exciting things for the Gentle Readers to look forward to, yay!

As to not have yet another photo-less blog, I give you falling down icy steps bruise:

I will have to post an updated photo before this big nasty goes away, in probably at least another month....

Cell phone woes... already

Lets start with the fact that, in America, my cell phone is like an extension of my body.  Bahrain is the first place I've ever had a prepaid cell phone.  Getting a cell phone in Bahrain was like reverting back to the Stone Age.  Although lots people in Bahrain walk around with their Blackberries and smartphones.  I don't know enough people here (or want to) to warrant paying more than $30 or was it 30BD for a phone and whatever plan I have to get to go with it.  The price to call America is still $0.09 like it was in GTMO, so I'm not so much worse for the wear, the difference is now I don't have to deal with SCSI (thank God).

The problem lies with the fact that very soon, I am returning to America.  I currently own a Blackberry Curve that I got when my Pearl (Tech rest it's soul, and I miss that sucker) died.  It died and they said, we don't make that phone anymore because no one likes it.  I LIKE IT, asshole!  That didn't matter.  I was stuck having to get a different, larger version.  So I went with the Curve, because I knew I was leaving for GTMO in 2 months, even if the rep didn't.  It was also only $50 and my E3 pay plus my eating out habits = broke Teh Megan.  The Storm came out 2 weeks later and I felt jipped and sad and almost considered returning the Curve, but then heard about all the issues with the Storm and just settled on hating having the Curve for 2 months then freezing my account.  I knew that when I finally got back stateside, I'd get a new phone.  I'm a tech goddess, I'd have a new, shiny, sparkly, tech savvy, beautiful phone.  It just what Teh Megan does.

So.. I'm less than (I like saying that, haha) 2 months away from being on a rotator flight (ugh, but why be picky when its off this God-forsaken island (God forsakes this island, Allah doesn't.. haha)) out of Bahrain and my dinky (who's bitter?) cell phone might just be overwhelmed by all the awesomeness that is American cell phone systems/services now.

I've been looking at cell phone options on Verizon.  After finally popping my own ipod cherry last year, I don't care about having a phone that plays music.  I already have a device for that, kthx.  I am interested in something that will let me check my email, send text/pic messages (do they have video messages yet?), and hold a sufficient amount of photos which I will promptly post to FB, because I think my dog by far cuter than all your newborn babies (please don't be offended, its just, dogs don't cry or need to be feed as often and the worst part of changing him is having to put the leash on and standing outside in the cold, and he sure as hell isn't growing up anytime soon to talk or make me have to spend more money on him.. and think of all the money I'm saving on clothes for myself!).  Shoulda Been a Cowgirl has the Droid Incredible, which she brought back to Bahrain after her leave.  I looked at it, it was kinda thick.  I played around with it, and accidentally reset her icons and couldn't fix it (oops).  I looked up the specs on it and it has an 8mp camera, which is better than my current 2005 point and shoot (don't judge).  It didn't have a keyboard, which is apparently the new thing, and I'm sure I could eventually get used to a virtual keyboard, but I really like the clackity-clackin of my fingernails on a keyboard.  But overall, I liked the phone.  Seemed techy and cool.

I also looked at the iPhone specs and wasn't super impressed.  $100 jump for double the amount of memory, and you can't put an SD card in it?  Only a 5mp camera (haha I'm such a camera snob)?  Does everything my iTouch does except get calls, but with a price?  Keep it.

I looked at some other phones on the website, but just like anything else (cars included), everything is better in person, which I guess is how I've been able to curve my internet shopping problem I had in GTMO.

So then it came down to plans.  With most? all? smartphones you have to have a data plan.  Despite being in Bahrain, I've heard all the talk about no longer having unlimited data plans by the major carriers.  It made me sad, but I moved on because I wasn't currently in America and it didn't affect me... at the time (oh yes, this is foreshadowing).  I looked at family plans, because Teh Bear doesn't have a cell phone (don't ask me how) and I know that being back in 'Merica, I'm going to be out and want to show him stuff that would be funny to him, except he doesn't have a cell, so how would I show him?  Fail.  Soo..  I was looking at family plans.

700 shared minutes $69
Unlimited shared text messaging $30 (and they gave you the option to not have shared, why would anyone want to NOT share unlimited messaging and have to pay more?)
So far, this wasn't seeming like a problem, because I already pay $100 a month for my blackberry.

Then we got to data...  ..... ..... which I was required to have........ .... ...
there was no unlimited package.  It wasn't even an option to pay exuberant amounts of money for.  O.M.G.W.T.F?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
The highest data package was $100 (which I would never pay) for 12GB w/ mobile hotspot (which I'm not really sure what that means, but whatever).  My heart kinda sank.  Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy would they do away with unlimited data!?!?!  Don't they understand my needs!?!?!??!  Of course they do, in capitalist America, so of course they would do away with a great thing and want to charge money for something that everyone "needs".  Queue my loathing of America.

This leaves me in a predicimate y'all.  If I get a new phone, at the 2 year price, they will make me upgrade my contract.  Or I suck it up and deal with the shitty Curve from 2009 or buy a phone at market price (which might be worth the money I'd save with keeping my current plan).  The other problem with this option is it leaves Teh Bear still with no phone and me with no way to show him funny crap throughout the day.  Wah, I know.

Because my plan was frozen at the time they did away with unlimited data, or because I already was on an unlimited plan, I have been able to stay on that plan.  I'm not sure how they would kick me off, but I'm sure they could if they wanted, which would result in pissed off Teh Megan.  So besides no unlimited data, what is the strongest push to just stick with my current plan?  Well, let me show you something.

The dates I used my phone for this period was Sept 11-23, 2010.  This was the time between GTMO and Bahrain.  That was less than 2 weeks.  In less than 2 weeks, I used over 19MB of data, and that was me only on TFLN and my email, because I was with Teh Bear for 5 days, so I tried to pay him some attention.  Then Mrs. Boomkin and Mr. Voices came to see me for the weekend I was in Lenoir, and we did lots of hanging out, so the cell phone usage was low.  The closest plan for my (estimated) usage?  2GB for $30 (which isn't eligible for discounts).  Which would bring a shared plan to prob around $140-150.

They also billed me for minutes, because I went over my pro-rated allotment.  As always, Verizon's pro-rated crap is for the birds, which I often told to the ex-fiance, who worked for Verizon.  Not that he could do anything about it, but it always felt good to tell someone who worked for Verizon, that Verizon was shitty.

Also, hell yeah for a military discount?!  Every 15% counts when your bill is $100 a month.

So now you understand my dilemma.  Going back to America seems to be providing many, many dilemmas for me to overcome, which is such a bummer.  I want this to be a happy, rejoicing time, instead its just turning out to be a super expensive life upgrade that I'm not sure I was ready for/totally wanted.  I mean, I definitely wanted to be back in America (no jk), but its very expensive there, lol.

Who wears socks anymore?

These flippy floppies have seen lots of wear.

So.. my staple footwear as become flip flops..  or "FLIPPY FLOPPIES!!!" 

If you are Teh Ginger or Teh Lumberjack, I know you are both going "FLIPPY FLOPPIES!!!" in a very loud, annoying voice in your heads, so I did that just for you...  Silly boys.


Back story: Teh Lumberjack called me one day (while we were still in GTMO) and Teh Ginger answered my phone in a high-pitched, nasally voice, with extra emphasis on double letters, "FLIPPPPY FLOPPPPIES!!!"  Teh Lumberjack swore it was me who had answered the phone, and I'm sure he still doesn't believe me, despite Teh Ginger telling him the truth.  It was mostly in the way the words were said, which is now perma-etched in my brain.  Assholes.  :)

I liked pairing these with fuzzy pink socks, the fuzz stuck
out of the holes.  :)

So back to footwear.  Flip flops.  I didn't really wear flip flops in America very often.  I have cold feet symptom, so I like to wear socks.  For a while I was spicing it up with fun socks and Crocs, because I'm oh-so-clever.  I had some other slip-on shoes that I'd wear with socks, but rarely ever was I sockless.  I owned a pair of Adidas sandals, but after Rue (the Shorkie the ex-fiance and I had) decided one of them was a chew toy, they had to be put to rest, which spawned my Croc problem.


But wearing flip flops isn't conducive to wearing socks, unless you're into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle look.  Some people can pull it off, but I'm sure that I'm not one of them.  

apparently they make socks to wear with flip flops now.. What's the point!?!?!  (image) 

I wear shoes in snow.  It's smart.

Something else that isn't conducive to wearing flippy floppies?  Cold weather.  And I'm hearing FB rumors that its starting to get "cold" after the equator like heat in America this summer.  By "cold" I mean the temps are dropping and its no longer in the 90s.  Teh Bear was telling me something about La Nina this morning.  Mrs. Boomkin and Mr. Voices were evacuated this week because of flooding in the NE.  My E. Canadian peeps are experiencing what they consider fall-like weather, which could be indicative of an early winter (I could only wish).  I don't need my toes freezing off, so I'll stick with wearing socks and shoes and having cold toes despite these measures.


But who cares about any of this?  Well, me.  I love fun socks.  Actually, Teh BFF posted on my FB wall recently: "So...I was in Walmart today and saw these awesome socks and thought of you...and in turn had to buy not 1 pack but 2....and now I have to decide which kind you get :)"
She understands.  She probably also is doing a preemptive strike on items Teh Megan used to use, but no longer does because she lives in the desert, socks being a very significant item on that list.

I also love fuzzy, soft socks.  I have been known to drop less than $10 but more than $5 on socks because they are soft/fuzzy/cool/warm/smell good.  Oh yes, I actually bought a pair of socks that smelled like lemonwood or something exotic.  They were delightful, and the smell stayed for at least 3 washes.  And I was sniffing my "dirty" socks after I took them off.  Disclaimer: I don't have stinky feet, so smelling my "dirty" socks is totally acceptable.  Don't judge me.

Black heels + driving a stick shift = badass.

I guess I should also disclaim (in the spirit of disclaiming), I do wear socks when I wear my gym shoes or tennis shoes if I'm going to be out driving for long distances.  My clutch foot is much happier when I'm not wearing dinky, supportless, flip flops.  But, because I often swim for PT, I just wear flip flops to PT.  So it really does seem like I wear flip flops all the time.  I even wear my flip flops when I dress up, because I only own black and white heels, which often don't match anything that I'm wearing.  Flip flops are often cheap (especially in comparison to buying dress shoes in Bahrain), although I had to move on from the delightfully colored Old Navy flip flops after busting my ass too many times on wet floors (not that this happened in Bahrain...ever).  Sometimes you really do make investments when you buy certain things... like flip flops.

Although there is one significant upside to not wearing flip flops...  I will no longer feel guilty about my toe nail polish chipping off.  I really loved the emerald green with silver glitter I had going on for about 3 months..  But it was lookin pretty bad by the end.  The only reason it even got removed was because Teh HP Wizard suggested a foot massage.  Really loved that green.

So now, I'm T minus 2ish months of no more Bahrain.. and when I get back to America, it won't be flip flop weather... fer shizzle.  Lucky for me, I invested in tennis shoes before I went to GTMO, so I have shoes to wear, but my sock collection seems to have dwindled to plain white ankle socks and a few neon colored pairs, and my required work socks (eww).

Even knowing that I'll be footwear ready when I get to America, I already feel like I miss wearing flip flops a little.  I think I need to go put on my flippy floppies and walk around for a bit.  :)

When you're so busy looking forward, looking back is hard to do.

Holy mother!?!  It's mid-August!?  It's a hard time for me.  On the one hand, I'm SUPER elated.  That means its almost time to end my desert island stint (Hallelujah!).  On the other hand, its kinda sad.  It means that 2 years of my life have passed on desert islands, and as much as I bitch (its ok, I know I do it) about being on desert islands...  It's not been all bad.  Friends were made, I learned to dive in GTMO, I actually got to do my (trained for) job in Bahrain.  I survived 2 years w/o America. 

It's just hard to look back when I'm so busy focusing on MD in November.  New car?  New house?  New Place.  Those are pretty big things in comparison with things I've overcome while I've been stranded on islands.

By the way, yes I know that GTMO isn't really a desert island, but it was kinda, because we didn't get rain all that often (shall we recall all the writing in the dust on Teh Kaar?), despite being in the Caribbean, due to the mountains that surrounded Guantanamo Bay. 

Lets think of some small things that will be big changes related to going back to the states?

-For the first time since I've left training, I'll be able to wear my uniform off base.  In GTMO, we obviously weren't allowed off base.  In Bahrain, we're not allowed to go off base in uniform, which means getting to work early so you can again get ready for work by changing into uniform.  And if you have to go home in the middle of the day, that means changing out of uniform for the 20 minute excursion, and then changing back into uniform when you get back to work.  What this really means is, once I walked across base looking like an idiot wearing my super high socks with my gym shoes and capri pants.  Classy. 
-American fast food, besides McDonald's.  They have "American" fast food places in Bahrain, but usually, its not the same.  The ketchup packets you get aren't the same as ketchup packets in America.  I don't know how to explain it, they just aren't.
-Having to be on the lookout for unmarked cop cars and cop cars in general.  The speed limit in GTMO was 25..miles per hour..  You could get away with a bit over that, but you also knew where the MA's were usually staked out.  In Bahrain, the cops are... well, I'm not sure what they really do.  I've seen people pulled over before, but I've also seen cars weave through lanes in a construction zone, definitely speeding with a cop right behind us, and nothing happened.  I've passed cops doing well over 100kmh and nothing happens (praise Allah).  On the other hand, I'm so used to going slow (from GTMO) that staying at the speed limit wasn't so bad (when I was home on leave).  Yet, from Bahrain, I'm so used to going however fast I want, that it might be an issue now.
-No Saudi's.. or people from Dubai or Kuwait, or whatever other arabic names are on the plates I can't read.  They are like tourists in Florida.  On Wed/Thurs/Fri nights when the visitors come over, you can expect traffic to be heinous and people to be at their stupidest, not even factoring Ramadan into the equation.  And while there are stupid people in America, at least there is the potential of them using their signal light before they are turning and they often obey the lane rules at red lights.
-The probability of having to salute cars again.  In Bahrain and in GTMO there was no enlisted/officer base passes.. easy day.

There are definitely things about GTMO that I miss, and there will be things about Bahrain that I will definitely miss.
Diving- G
24 hour delivery- B
lack of law enforcement- B
relaxed work- G
3 day weekends- B
regular work hours- G
easy days- G
any day is beach day- G
proximity to everything- G/B
certain people- G/B
certain foods- G/B

But with school starting (yes I see all those copy/paste teacher and bullied child statuses), it makes me realize that the summer flew by.  Literally.  It feels like it was May not that long ago.  I don't feel like I wore shorts for long enough (which I'll prob blame most of that on Ramadan...).  It's hard to believe that 5 years ago I was starting my last semester of college (FIVE YEARS AGO?!?!). 

2 years ago, I was finishing my training in VA Beach.  I was going home and then getting on a plane to Gulfport and then to GTMO, my first, overseas duty station.  It's crazy to me that last year at this time I was preparing to come to Bahrain and my LPO was threatening me with dhow counting (oh so many freakin' dhows!).  I had pretty much turned over my job to a sexual harassment panda (who I've yet to hear all the interesting stories on, which kinda hurts my heart, because I know they are good stories).  I was headed to yet another island, yet another overseas duty station.  At some point between GTMO and now I seem to become immune to the fact that I missed certain American things (Texas Roadhouse, sushi (which thankfully we can get in Bahrain)).  It became a matter of ticking down the time till those things were actually available again, to me, in person, which is almost too much to comprehend.

I'm actually going back to America, and its blowing my mind.  2 years is long enough to get into habits that are for coping with the non-American things in your life (like power sockets and transformers in Bahrain).  It's long enough to stop missing some things.  It's also long enough to realize that people that were in you life when you left, have moved on and you are no longer a part of their life anymore.  It's long enough to forget what you are actually missing while you're away.

Side story:  when I went home on leave from GTMO, I had been on the island for 7.5 months.  I remember standing in the grocery store frozen section, stunned.  There were so many options.  It was more than 1.5 aisles (which is more than at the NEX in Bahrain) of frozen food.  There was almost half an aisle of just ice cream.  There were things I'd never seen before.  I stood there, stupefied.  At the same time, I was moved, literally, tears in my eyes (which is strange for someone that can chill wine with their heart).  This had all been there before I left and I hadn't even noticed... I hadn't ever noticed, because I never knew it didn't come standard.

My eyes have been opened by not being in America, and for that I'm grateful.  I'm ready to listen to people complain about how hot next summer is, and tell them, its not desert heat during Ramadan, so stfu.  I'm ready to walk in the rain and get wet.  I'm ready to hear frogs and crickets outside on summer nights.  I'm ready for the quiet of the winter.  And I know that I'll probably cry the first time it snows when I get back, because I missed snow more than any other thing while I was away.

Thinking of these things help put MD into perspective a bit.  That, for as much as happened in 2 years, settling into a familiar place may not be as difficult as settling into an unfamiliar place.  Time is whooshing by, but that doesn't mean that everything has to be done in one day.  Things can wait and not everything has to be planned (I'm sure if I tell myself this more often I might actually believe it one day in the far, far future).

Life drama 1

This probably isn't the first of my blogs about life drama, but this is the first time I've labeled it as such.  I'm thinkin' its pretty clever, so I'm going with it.

I've finally run out of pre-written blogs.  Which makes me kinda sad since I was doing so good at staying on top of the blogging.  Life has kinda been running amuck (spell check says this isn't word, but I'm using it anyways) lately.  Its things I can control, like going out and being social, or choosing to focus on chatting with Teh Bear instead of distractedly giving him 2 word answers while he tries to chat with me while I write a blog, or my Private Practice marathons.  Either way, seems like since Ramadan started, I've been doing more things, which is ironic since its so freaking hot and we have this stupid clothing regulation we have to follow that the locals don't even adhere to.  I really should make a list of reasons I hate being in Bahrain, it would make me feel validated to look back on it later and realize that this place was mostly miserable.

I guess a good indicator of life sucking is when you go to the doc for your yearly wellness assessment and you're told that you're a medium risk and the HM2 has no suggestions for you, because you work at NAVCENT and your life just sucks.  That was actually Teh HP Wizard's experience, but still true nonetheless.

(image)

Recently, life has been about planning for November.  Its a lot to look forward to and definitely a lot of planning is required on my part.  Planning is my thing.  But planning also = stressing.  Stressing over things I can't really control, which is kinda pointless.  Which leads to a vicious cycle of me trying to plan.  I start planning, realize I can't do anything because I'm overseas, get frustrated, get stressed, Teh Bear calms me down, I calm down, I become apathetic to planning, I give up planning, I get bored, I realize I miss planning, I start trying to plan again, I get frustrated.... see?

What is happening in November?
Teh Megan GOES TO AMERICA!!!!!!!

I've started progressing in small steps.  Transfer package = step #1.  One glitch in the transfer package equation. Are you planning to ship a vehicle to the U.S.?  ____ Yes      _____ No

A few months ago, a local approached me and asked if my car was for sale.  I told him not at the time, but potentially down the road, before I left Bahrain.  I got his number and told him if I decided to sell it, I'd call him.  Well, it was time to call.

After looking at it, and taking it for a test drive, he had the money to buy the car 2 days later.  He had misunderstood when I had told him I needed to know if he wanted to buy it within the next 10 days (because the transfer package has a deadline).  He thought that meant he needed to buy it from me in the next 10 days.  After 2 calls in the middle of my sleeping time from his english speaking friend, I finally explained that I needed to know for paperwork purposes, but didn't want to actually sell the car until October (definitely will need to keep my car until late October, its hot in Bahrain and walking to work doesn't sound like fun to me, kthx).  He seemed to understand.   I did assure him that I would definitely sell it to him in October and wouldn't put a sign in my car to sell it in the meantime, that I would contact him in October and we could get the paperwork stuff settled and it would be his.  Promise.  He said ok.  Glad that was settled.  That only caused moderate drama for 24 hours.

What does all that really mean?

This means Teh Megan will be purchasing a vehicle when she arrives in America.  Rah, for meeting the stereotype of deployed sailor returns home and buys new car.  I'm looking at the 2011/12 Kia Sportage.  I went and talked to the car dealer man on base, because they offer some pretty nice deals, and he told me, "There's a reason Kia's have 100,000 mile warranties.  They also don't drive well."  At which point I promptly responded, "Well, I've test driven one, and its what I want."  He then proceeded to tell me how great the Ford Escape is and started looking in his database for Escapes.  He later emailed me a quote for a $17k one that had a lot of extras!  Those extras included everything a base model has, nothing more.  A/C isn't a perk buddy, its standard.  Rah.  It also included a manual transmission, which I had already said no to.  I was apparently wasting my breath with Mr. Car Dealer Man.  I wasn't impressed.  I went back online and read more Sportage reviews.  They aren't bad on gas, people say they drive stiff so they can feel every bump in the road, but I'm used to driving 4 inches off the ground, so when I drove it, it felt smooth to me.  I talked to Teh Dad and he is going to try and test drive one for me in the near future to tell me what its like, since the American base model and European base model (which I did test drive) have different features/engines, and I definitely wasn't a fan of the European base engine... or that stupid 120kmh warning.

After I arrive to MD in my new vehicle, I will need to find a place to live.  Preferably with 2 bedrooms and at least 1.5 baths and a yard (fenced in if neighbors are close) and will allow dogs.  I'm not picky or anything.  If nothing else, this will at least narrow down some options.  I'd prefer a townhouse type place, if I was given the choice of townhouse vs apartment, in a dream world, I'd find a house, but not holding my breath on that one.

(image)

After I find said place, I will then need to buy furniture.  A LOT OF FURNITURE.  I currently own 5 pieces of furniture: a skirtless loveseat with a very uncomfortable fold out bed and a recliner with a broken arm because the movers ripped it off (thanks, jerks), and 3 tables... with hearts (they were given to me).  I could have gotten the recliner fixed, but it is so old, its really not worth the headache of doing the fixing it paperwork through HHG, especially when English is the 2nd language of most people that work in the office.

So, a bed, a mattress, a couch, end tables, a chair, a dining room table, chairs for the dining room table, maybe a desk, maybe a tv, something to put a tv on, a book case (or a few), night stands, kitchen stuff, washer and dryer, microwave.. Idk, things that fill a house.  Things that came with my Bahrain apartment.

I considered buying a townhouse, but I'm not really sure what the market is like and/or if there are places within a range that I could afford.  In addition to all the other expenses of American living that I'll be incurring.

Like:
cell phone
internet
car/property insurance
gas
moving expenses (I've learned that even if the Navy gives you money to move, its never quite as much as what you actually spent)
new uniforms (including that stupidly expensive goretex, which I will actually have to get before I arrive, but it is for MD)

I'm sure there are other things that I'm leaving out that I just can't remember right now.  Because while living in Bahrain is expensive.  I don't have to pay for electricity.  My gas bill is practically non-existent (yay Middle East), my cell phone is prepaid and I rarely use it since Skype is free, I don't pay for internet (unlike GTMO), I did pay for car insurance and my renters insurance, but they were fairly cheap since my car is old and my furniture was provided.

On the other hand of planning, I am retardly excited about the proximity I will be in of really awesome things.. liiiikeeeee My Raleigh Parents (my last roommates from college who moved to Philly), Mrs. Boomkin and Mr. Voices, Washington DC (helllllo photo opportunities (cherry blossoms in the spring, national monuments, etc) and/or lots of people I know).  I'm also halfway between NY and NC.  Which means that a trip to see the NY relatives is more of a possibility than it has been.

(image)

Its nice to daydream about all these things, but its a lot more stressful to actually make these things happen.  And everyone has already told me, you don't leave for a few months.  EXACTLY!  A FEW months.  So far I've only received one email from my sponsor, and I know there are people that don't even get a sponsor, but I'm kinda psycho, and I have lots of questions (which my old LPO can attest to from when I got my orders to Bahrain, I sent him at least 2 pages of questions) that I'd like answered or at least some friendly guidance about the area/places to live/how my job will be/etc.  Its just nice to know things before you have to dive head first into them... for me anyways.

I can haz stress-free PCS?  No, ok fine.  Just as long as I can haz 'Merica.




   

Changing modesty..

no jk (google search)

Because Bahrain is an Arabic nation, there are different rules that we (as military and as Americans) have to follow.  Don't flip off people who cut you off (but waving your full hand at them in a violent motion is ok), if you are honking your car horn rudely you can get a ticket, dress appropriately (unless your a hooker), etc.

Because its summer.. in the desert... the fashion police are out.  Literally.  There are military and non-military out policing American clothing.  Your skirt is too short?  You have on a sleeveless shirt?  You have on shorts after dusk?  You are wearing a spaghetti strap (aka Teh Dad doesn't approve) top?  You are wrong.

Teh Bear and I have discussed this often.  Most of the clothes that I wore in GTMO I can no longer wear in Bahrain, despite the temps being about the same.  The weird part is, my modesty level changes too.

The time that Teh Dad disapproved of my top was a very rare day.  I didn't usually wear shirts like that, and given his reaction, you could guess why.  No one approved of dressing like that in my house.  You'd think I was raised conservative Southern Baptist with the way I dressed (I'm not Southern Baptist btw, just conservative).  I was even self-conscious wearing shorts in public because of how short they were (even the popular Sofee gym shorts).  Btw, that is such a horrible fashion fad, daisy-dukes or booty shorts, are VERY unappealing.  Keep it covered, keep some mystery, plus your junk (literally) ain't my business.

I used to go for most of the summer with wearing pants and finally capris when I broke down and accepted that fashion crisis.  The only time I would don shorts would be if I was going swimming.

When it was almost time to leave for GTMO I realized that I was in trouble.  I was going to the Caribbean and all I owned was pants/capris and shirts with sleeves (most of them long sleeve).  I had to go shopping like I was going to be living at the beach all year, which is way more difficult than it sounds.  I didn't want booty shorts (trashy) and I did buy more spaghetti strap tops, but also bought a few sheer/light tops to go over them if I was feeling particularly self-conscious that day.  I was finally able to find shorts that were of a modest length, and despite having to pay full price, it was worth not being self-conscious about my butt cheeks hanging out.

Teh GTMO Megan, see those short shorts and that tank top?  SO MUCH SKIN! ZOMY! (pic from Miss Reflective)

While I was in GTMO I even broke down and bought some skirts (soooo girly of me) and had Teh BFF send me more spaghetti strap tops.

Beachwear was perfectly acceptable in GTMO (since we were kinda at the beach, all the time).  I mean, I prob wouldn't have wore what I wore to party on F Block to mass, but I didn't have any issues going to the NEX.  I became more accepting of this way of dressing.. And I'm not so sure Teh Parents were ready for that when I took leave in April.  Granted, it was a little chillier in NC than it had been in GTMO so wearing more clothes was ok, but I was a lot less worried about "everything all hanging out" than I had been before I left.

Now, I'm in Bahrain.  Anywhere you go on base there are signs that display acceptable dress styles.  Conservative.  Good thing I had so much practice for 20+ years.  Its back to at least short sleeves and even my modest shorts are pushing the limits.  Yet, now that I've been here for a while, I (again) feel self-conscious when I put on a cute/potentially sexy skirt with a spaghetti strap top with an overshirt.  Even if I know I'm in regs, that doesn't mean that people aren't still staring.

Teh Bahrain Megan, and this isn't acceptable after dark. (pic by Will the Marine)

I've seen the way Arabic men stare at women boobs women, and its uncomfortable, so displaying them for everyone to see would just invite even more stares.

So my modesty level has changed again.  I'm back to that semi-conservative look.  I don't need the fashion police out after me...  until I go back home..  then I'll just pull out my spaghetti strap tops when I'm around Teh Dad to rile him up.  Isn't that the job of the oldest daughter?  :D

I'm at that point..

Cute little flight attendant Sailor Girl

So I joined the Navy a few years ago, with no expectation of the way my life would go..  Where I'd end up, for how long... To a ship for 2-3 years?  To DC for a few years?  An IA billet to the Sandbox?  I had no expectations.  Seriously.  Hell, I planned to spend 3 months in bootcamp, which turned into 2.5 (that few weeks was a blessing) and I didn't plan on spending over 6 months in training.  (Side note for those of you thinking of joining the military, I hope you LOVEEEE training, because its the military's number one priority.)

The first time I picked orders, there were 2 location options for the job I wanted.  Miami, FL or GTMO.  My logic in choosing GTMO?  I didn't want to be in the US, I'd joined the Navy to do something different, and America wasn't different.  So GTMO it was, for 1 year.  It was PCS orders, meaning you are actually stationed there instead of being temporarily assigned (like most of the troops there).  What this means in layman's terms is you're stationed there so you don't get all the extra awesome pays of being temporarily assigned there.  Oh yeah, Navy screw-over-#-who's-counting?  1 year isn't a long time compared to being stationed somewhere for 2+ years.  At least, in my opinion.  But, when you know that something else is looming over the horizon so soon, because your time is limited, it definitely felt like it was a very long year sometimes.

Fast foward from Sept 09 to Apr 10.  Teh Megan got "needs of the Navy" orders..  meaning, I was the Navy's bitch, which isn't really different than normal, it just meant that I didn't really get to pick my choice of places that I wanted to be stationed at next.  The Navy needed me at COMUSNAVCENT, or Bahrain.  I took advantage of those 12 weeks of A school training and built a country brief for my family and friends so they would understand what was happening and where I was going..  to the Middle East, but not THE Middle East that was always in the news... until this year.

Ok, so I haven't had that much rum,
but the sign still holds true.

This was another set of PCS orders, and there are people stationed here IA (Teh Lumberjack) who, again, make more money than me.  Another Navy screw-over-#-who's-counting? event, its good that I don't keep an actual running record of these.  Actually, its not really a screw over.  Being in Bahrain (while it is a desert island, like GTMO was), hasn't been so bad.  I actually have a whole apartment to myself instead of 10x10 tin shed where I shared a bathroom with someone else, which really isn't bad until its 2am and they come home barfing from partying too hard.  I can go to dinner at a real restaurant, even though I still can't understand the waitstaff and they take just as long as the TCNs in GTMO did.. its civilization and there's people that I've never seen in my entire life at the same location...  its an ambiguous feeling, and soo very delightful, until I start missing Filipino bar at the Bayview...

Recently, I've started feeling like time has flown by, yet there is so much more time to go, but not really.  I hit this same "plateau" when I was in GTMO.  I was ready to get off the island, seeing the same faces over and over was making me feel like Groundhog's Day (the movie, not the national day in Feb, which only is important because it means my bday is one day away) was actually happening, which Teh DM (divemaster, who acquires his name because his gills) had said was going to happen.  He hit his 6 year mark in GTMO while I was there.. and that's a long damn time.  

For me, its almost like a depression.  Knowing that you've passed the halfway mark but you aren't done yet..  Its like when I'm doing situps and I tell myself, just 15 more.. after already doing 85..  Its the mentality of just getting through it.  So I set high points for myself.  Teh Bear's visit at month 9.  Ramadan month 10.  Month 11 will mark 1 year in Bahrain (I arrived about a month early to save on leave).  Month 12 will mark the closing of this deployment  (and yes I just called this a deployment).

Its very complicated knowing that 8 months have passed, and there are only 4/5ish more to go.  I feel like time has flown, and at the same time is moving very slowly.  Its the plight of 1 year orders to anywhere.  At the same time, it makes me very nervous for 2 year orders to VX-1 (where I'm headed next), because 2 years will be a VERY long time for me.  

I'm used to moving about every year.  I've been doing it since 2004 actually.. and almost 10 years later, I don't really have a lot of stuff to account for because of my life style (which kinda makes me sound gay, but its whatev).  I've joked said before that I'm a nomad.  And now that I look back for even longer, its true.  I've bitched about living out of suitcases several times.  And yet, I'm ready to do it again to start the next adventure... I think.

Random Tidbit.  

Today, I finished my Army Wives marathon that I've had going on since April.  On my days off, I've been catching up by watching seasons 1-4.  While there are parts of the show that are blatantly wrong (which I know now, because I'm in the military), it was entertaining and got me away from WoW, which was becoming more and more boring by the minute.  I was really only getting online to socialize with my "warcraft homies", because the game play (especially on this speed challenged internet) wasn't really entertaining anymore.

On the other hand, it makes me super depressed to watch the show, and I'm kinda glad I'm caught up so I can watch something else that doesn't make me as depressed.  It makes me sad to think of people that I'm not as close to now as I was because of my military life.  And there isn't really anything significant that goes on in my daily life (thus the plight of 12 hour days and purposely doing absolutely nothing on your days off), so I don't talk to people at home as much as I used to, because I don't really have anything great to talk about.  "Went to work for 12 hours, came home and had video time with Teh Bear, went to bed, woke up early, went back to work for 12 hours, wash, rinse, repeat."

So I'm kinda blaming watching too much Army Wives on the depressingness that is this post about being at the plateau of my deployment, waiting on time to pass, getting through the days to mark them off, and being glad that so many days are behind me and it doesn't seem like it took them that long to pass.

   

   

Memory Day...

The price of war.  Memorial Day, GTMO 2010.

Facts:
1.  The last Monday in May is observed as Memorial Day in the United States.
2.  I am the first person in my family to be in the military (to my knowledge).
3.  Memorial Day used to be known as Decoration Day.
4.  Decoration Day was first observed in 1865.
5.  Memorial Day is the first vacation day from work after Easter (aka spring holiday for those who can't handle religion being "thrown in their faces") for many people.

Additional fact:  Today at quarters (for non-military: a meeting where all enlisted in my dept show up to hear the "good news"), as we said the Sailor's Creed (which we do at the start of every quarters session), it hit me that today was memorial day, and I am but a small part of something much larger.

Teh Mom posted a status update on FB about being grateful to the military, with a shoutout to her daughter (me) who is currently serving.  Teh Dad tried to get ahold of me yesterday also, because they had been thinking about me since it was Memorial Day weekend.

Another Fact:  I didn't join the military to be part of something larger, or to support my country.  I joined because I needed a job.  I'm not ashamed of this.

I don't necessarily agree with all the things we're fighting for, but I don't necessarily disagree either.  I'm very appreciative of all the things that the military has provided for me.  Yes, my life is hard, but there are people that have it worse (always a valid argument).

As I recited the Sailor's Creed with other sailors in my department, I realize that if I was in an actual combat zone (with the bombs and the guns and the outright terrorists), the person standing next to me today, might not be standing beside me in days to come.  And it made me think back...  so many wars, so many lost.  THAT is what we're remembering.  The day for recognizing the armed forces that are still with us is Veteran's Day, its in November.  But I mean, who's complaining about recognition?   

Today is a day to honor those that paid the ultimate price for their service.

Those that died thinking, hell yeah, only 82 more days and I'm out of this desert, or this snowstorm, or this jungle, or this trench.  I'm goin' home and I'm gonna have a beer and enjoy my family.  Those that never got to see their last day, or the end results of their efforts, even if it was just as a mail carrier, cook, mechanic, doc, those jobs that seem small but are necessary to ensure that the military remains functional...

The price of freedom is death.  Death of sons and daughters and husbands and wives and fathers and mothers and friends and even enemies.  Someone who meant something to somebody.

So while we continued saying the Sailor's Creed, I thought about peace.  I thought about the people who had died trying to achieve "peace", which only seems to be a band-aid to the wound.  People who died during the Civil War, WW1, WW2, Korean War, Vietnam War, Gulf War, the War on Terror...  People who are AT peace, by paying the price of death, to give their countrymen the gift of rights, to choose war or peace...

So, complain about your gas prices being too high and enjoy your 3 day weekend.  Think about the man or woman who was vigilant and killed the man or woman that could have risen to power and made the wars that we've fought significantly altered where our enemy won instead of us.  Think about soldiers who fought during the Civil War for same rights for all skin colors, about soldiers who froze to death during WW1, about solider's bodies that littered the beaches of Normandy during WW2, about soldiers who have died from cancer or other health reasons from exposure to chemicals used during war (Agent Orange), about the solider who faces a child who has bombs strapped to his body...

Because I'm that American, that never realized what Memorial Day was about until I was in the military.  I knew what it was about, but it was just the free vacation day at the end of May for most of my life.  So I will sit back and think about the gruesome past that allows us the present that we live in.  The price of life for a life.

SAILORS CREED:

I am a United States Sailor. I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me. I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world. I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with honor, courage and commitment. I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

And despite all those thoughts, we weren't even finished with the Creed yet...  But soon enough, and the day trucked on...

PS.  Excellence comes in difference forms.  Just sayin.



 

The latest and greatest news...

I am not super political.  I sometimes struggle with the differences in the platforms of democrats and republicans when it comes to who represents what.  And I even joined the military and people question that decision.  But today, something very political went down.  Osama bin Laden big.  Osama bid Laden dead big..

This guy was the ultimate terrorist, sans the using himself as a grenade, every loves little fleshy peices all over them when someone blows something up, right?  No, this guy paid for stuff, which made people like him.  And America is rejoicing tonight.  Crowds are gathered in DC and NYC, and prob other places that haven't been reported.  We took down the world's biggest bad guy.

Except that the death of Osama bin Laden is hollow.

The war we've been in since Sept 11 is on all terrorists, not just a terrorist.  While bin Laden was a very prominent, important piece of the battle, I think we will quickly see that his death brought the satisfaction of vengeance for Americans, yet nothing more...  Better yet, satisfaction for something we don't even have proof he actually did, Sept 11th, granted he did take responsibility for enough other actions that this was a good way to hold him accountable..  Best part is that many people will probably think that this war is over... yet our war isn't with one man, but with the people who cheer for the deaths of westerners the way we are cheering over the death of a single man.  They burn American flags like people hope bin Laden burns in hell (side note, its amazing how many people believe in the afterlife when it comes to bad people burning in hell).

For me, I'm not cheerful.  Despite the fact that bin Laden was, without a doubt, a terrorist, a man died and there are people chanting in celebration in the streets...  the same way that the Phelps family cheers at military funerals. I don't care about bin Laden's afterlife, I don't pray that he goes to hell.

Instead, I pray for peace.  I pray to God, or anyone that will listen.  God, Allah, Deo, Shivah, Visnu, Brahma, Buddha, Yahweh...  Choose your own name, but for peace.  That wars won't be fought, and people won't be killed in the tainted name of a god.

I also pray for the peace of the families that were affected almost 10 years ago by people who supported the cause of bin Laden.  That despite the fact that yet another had to die, they will feel some respite (even if we aren't certain that he was behind the act that causes them pain).

I hope that America realizes the battle isn't over and now is definitely not the time to bring our troops home.  I hope they understand that the death of bin Laden could be a double edged sword.  Less than a week ago, Taliban troops grew in size when prisoners escaped from their detention center.  By taking out one man, their cause isn't lost.  They, too, cheer for the fallen, yet another who was fighting for the cause.

This is a difficult war... and it is not over...  and for me, cheering that a man has died is vindiciatve and cruel.  That despite his actions, it is still not our place to judge.

And this mindset upsets me, because part of me wants to cheer and believe that a great victory was made today.  Yet, a bigger part of me is sickened by the cheering for the death of a man, and it makes me think of Roman times with gladiators (could be because Teh Bear and I are currently watching Spartacus and just finished Rome, not the point), where people cheer for blood, like animals.

This world baffles me.  Nonetheless, Osama bin Laden is dead, at least Obama has that going for him.  :)

ok, this is kinda funny.