Monday, September 21, 2020

Weekend Review {9/21}


Dog baths, work, chiro, afternoon training session..  Then I walked away from my desk expecting Teh German to come down soon after.. and that didn't happen so I ended up falling asleep on the couch waiting for him to come down for dinner... 

When he did finally come down at 6:45, having "lost track of time" (which I found a little incredulous considering his training call ended at 5, which would have been an ideal time to walk away), he wasn't hungry and I was ready to stab him.

We were expected at Teh PT House ~7 for hanging out with Teh Neighbor Besties and I did end up grabbing a piece of pizza there, but I did have to apologize for my hanger before we went over.  My reaction to his overworking was exacerbated by my hunger, but I'm very intentional about my work/life separation because I do have a spouse who I try to pay attention to and "losing track of time" and making him wait on me to do something (i.e. eat) would not be handled well, so I make a point of walking away by a certain time.  Teh German teleworking is still fresh, but I also want to be clear about my own expectations in the beginning before bad habits start to develop.. and working until 7pm is a BAD habit IMO... especially when your spouse is downstairs waiting on you to be finished working.

We hung out with the neighbors for a few hours and we're all old so we ended up being home and in bed by 10:30.


See that "pillow of separation"?  I taught them that, lol.

A slow start with no intentions for the day.  I made the menu for the week and piddled around the house.  While Sandy was relaxing on the couch, I decided that it was time to trim her paws.. which moved to her legs, then up through the rest of her body and she ended up getting an all over trim which is unfortunate for her since I'm not a trained dog groomer so I was just randomly clipping hairs that were "too long".  Honestly, she doesn't look that bad.  Her fur is thinned out and I'm hoping that helps keep her cooler AND the hairs aren't getting as tangled/matted, which is wonderful.. ALSO.. SHE'S SO SOFT AND FLUFFY NOW!!

Final product.

Gratuitous dog photos from the rest of the day: 

Teh German annouced that he was going to sell Suzi and the Bobber (the two original bikes in his collection), so he cleaned them up and took photos and posted those on FB while I did laundry and scrolled and whatever else I did that I can't remember.

In the evening, we decided that it was FINALLY cool enough to burn some of the pallets ANDDD I broke out my first hoodie of the season.  If my RBG hoodie had arrived as it was supposed to, that would have been my choice for first hoodie of the season, but it did not.  We invited the GLCK neighbors, but it was just us, which was fine too.  We chatted about the move and packing and things to sell and scrolled.  It did start to sprinkle a bit, but the last pallet that had been sitting on the grass was on the firepit, so we waited for it to burn down before finally going inside.


After dispensing dog treats, it was bedtime.


I woke up super early on Sunday to get in a half marathon.  I really didn't want to get out of bed, but I knew I'd be pissed if I passed up a perfect weather opportunity for such a long run, so I forced myself to get moving.  I had planned my route on Saturday evening and I was pleased to have figured out  13 mile route without having to go on the dirt access road behind the development across the street from ours.  Besides the weather, other motivating factors included: no hills (unlike if I waited until we get to MD to do the run) and getting a medal on the rack before it has to be packed away. 

The other thing I'd planned is to carry water this time.  I don't like carrying things (in my hands) while I run, so this was kind of a trial, but with the way the route works, I was able to leave the bottle at the ends of the streets I run down and back, so I only had to carry it for short intervals, which was nice.  When I ran my last make-up half in April, I didn't have water and ended up drinking from the spigots of empty houses that I found on my route (praise Jebus).  Otherwise, Teh German would have had to make a water delivery and I wanted to make sure that wasn't an issue this time.

Even with carrying a water bottle and no one running with me and no course cheerleaders, I managed this one in 2:22, which pleased me.  I'd love to get back down to under 2:15, buttt ya know what, for no training because of the heat and carrying the water bottle for some of it and being 10 lbs heavier and 5 years older than when I set that unrealistic goal, I'm cutting myself some slack.  Under 2:30 is a perfectly acceptable half marathon time.

I came home and rested for a few minutes and chatted with Teh German, then I went upstairs and showered so I'd be ready for breakfast with Teh NY Chef when she arrived.  Teh NY Chef, Teh German, and I went to Big Bad Breakfast downtown because we'd talked about going to brunch and hadn't done it and we'd promised her a brunch outing for Mother's Day and with her bday passing and my being unable to attend her bday dinner, I wanted to make this happen, so we finally did it. 

I had initially planned on coming home after breakfast and taking a nap, but then I realized that we were supposed to attend a going away gathering during my naptime... Le sigh.  There are few things harder than running a half marathon and NOT getting your requisite nap after and still being expected to function.  We arrived late, as expected since we went to breakfast, and we stayed until 4 when I was finally DONE. 

The owner actually shared a concoction with us that he'd created: Holy City Pluff Mud Porter + a Pabst Blue Ribbon Hard Coffee and it was actually really good and didn't even taste like beer.  It's called The Beard Bomb and you can get it at The Bearded Ax in Park Circle.

When we got home, we dealt with beasts, Teh German pulled out the Bobber and took it for a ride around the neighborhood since someone had expressed interest in purchasing it.  I laid on the couch and listened to the rest of my audiobook, falling asleep during the end because I really DNGAF about the book, only about finishing it, which is so stupid, but here we are.  I had already warned Teh German I wasn't hungry for dinner, since I'd had a snack at the going-away gathering, so he managed dinner on his own and I headed upstairs to get ready for bed at 6:45.....

And then I started getting messages at 7:15 from Matilda and Teh Bestie about not being able to get on the Google Meet... yeah, because the host wasn't there.. Oops.  So we video chatted for about an hour to catch up.  Right after we ended the call, Teh German came up to get ready for bed.  Despite the sleep aid pills I took, I still slept like shit because my throat has decided to be sore (I assume from the drastic weather change) and my body has some minor aches.


A fantastically low-key, lazy weekend.  We hung out Teh Neighbor Besties and some of Teh GLCK at the going-away gathering and we finally managed to take Teh NY Chef out!  We hadn't seen her since July and that was like 28941 years ago!

Our home inspection is scheduled for this week, so hopefully there are very minimal things, if anything, that needs to be fixed for that.  Otherwise, nothing else going on around here besides selling shit to lighten the move load.  If you're interested in a motorcycle or a bedroom set or a couch, hit me up. I know a lady, lol.

(I'm not sorry for what I did there.)

Friday, September 18, 2020

Five on Friday #241

EINS - Random Shit

When I used to get lots of free samples and shit, I created a 2nd FB account so I could use it to like companies/etc and not have to see that shit on my main FB account.  Since FB revoked my access to marketplace on my main account after selling the watch to that creepy mf-er in 2018, I have tried to appeal the decision multiple times and I get nothing more than a macro response from "Ava" that nothing can be done, which is absolute fucking garbage.

So anyways, fast-forward a few years and I'm trying to offload some items since I don't want to have to move them.  I cleaned up my 2nd account and added a profile pic and put my actual fucking name and posted a few items for sale.  Anddd, FB has revoked my marketplace access on that account too.  I'm fucking livid because I don't know why.  You can't tell me people don't create FB accounts just to post shit on marketplace and nothing I added was against their rules.  So much rage.  I requested a review, but I'm sure that I'll get the same canned response and unhelpful messages that don't tell me WHY my access was revoked.  And also, because it's fucking FB, they don't care and they have other problems to attend to, so why bother dealing with my problems?

I'm worried that posting the stuff from Teh German's account will also get him banned from marketplace and that's one of his favorite scrolling places.  I don't understand and Teh German was like, "Call FB about it." Uhh.. one does not just "call Facebook."


Storytime! The dogs switched food and I donated the old food to the animal society.  Since I was going to the chiro today, I figured I'd drop the (open) bags off on my way home.  Of course, as I turn out of the neighborhood, one of the bags falls over and spills.  It's fine since the back is covered with comforters but unfortunate since I will now have to wash the blanket.  Ugh, whatever, fine.

Go to chiro, drop off food donation, come home and I'm pulling the blanket out of the car and not one, but TWO BIG ASS MOTHERFUCKING COCKROACHES GO SCITTERING!!! There is much shrieking from me, my insides wither because now I'm hunting for cockroaches and I fucking hate cockroaches and THEY ARE IN MY CAR.  These bitches have been using me as their taxi!  And for how long!?!  NO ONE KNOWS!

So I pull out the other comforter and one cockroach moves to the lip of the hatch where I whack-a-mole that bitch with an empty cardboard juice container until I finally make contact and smash it dead.  The other found another crevice to hide in.  I checked the back seats and the wheel well and didn't find it..

So there's probably a fucking cockroach in my car and I really loved Willow, but it looks like I'm going to have to set her on fire and it's quite unfortunate, as I refuse to let a cockroach ride along for free until it decides to set itself free or dies in some mysterious place where I will never find it.

TL;DR: Some people get freaked out by spiders, some people by snakes.. But for me, my arch-nemesis is any type of cockroach.  The bigger it is, the more threat it poses.  Is this irrational?  IDNGAF.  ALL COCKROACHES MUST DIE.


Guess what I still hate?!  The instant pot!

I tried to make meatloaf in the instant pot.  Of course it wasn't instant AND I could have cooked the damn thing in the oven AND dirtied less dishes had I just baked in the oven to start with.  It wasn't cooked when the recipe said it would be done, thankfully I temperature tested it, otherwise we'd have both been suffering.  I ended up having to put it in the oven to finish cooking. 

Hate hate hate.

And those scalloped potatoes are 100% a Sam's impulse buy and they were delicious.


On Tuesday we accepted an offer for House.

I'ma be honest.. I'm ignorant about some adult things because I've never experienced them and that includes buying/selling a house.  Fun fact: I find it absolutely ridiculous that the SELLER is expected to front money towards the BUYER'S closing costs.  Apparently, "that's just how it is", but also, that's fucking stupid.  Why should I, as a seller, pay money for someone to buy my house?  That's not the fucking point of this transaction. 

Teh German and I agreed that we'd never even considered asking for closing costs in the negotiation part of home buying because.... why would we?  Also, our experience home buying is from a builder, which is probably much different than buying from an individual.  Even so.

Wanna know another thing I disagree with?  The SELLER paying for both parties realtor fees.  WHY?  WHY should I, as the seller, pay for the buyer's agent who probably also took them to several other homes that were not mine?  WHY?  "Because that's just how it is."?  That's fucking stupid reasoning.  FOR ALWAYS. 

From last week, I also struggle with paying a realtor 3% of my sell price.  Granted, I made fucking sure our realtor earned that 3% because I'm kind of a twat, but I'm not sorry.  For $9,000 for very minimal effort (from my perspective), you're definitely going to work for it.


Sandy has these weird skin spots going on.  It's almost like a scab, but not quite since there is no wound, just weird... discharge?  She was on an antibiotic for it but it didn't help.  So now we're changing foods and weekly baths are probably in her future (poor me and poor her).


I think I've already decided to make boxed cake for cupcakes for Meri's (7th) birfday on the 27th.  It's almost incomprehensible to me that she'll be 7 soon.  She will forever be my crazy little Monkey-Doodle who ate all my shit and was such an energetic terrorizer.  When I think (hard) about it, she's DEFINITELY slowed down since those first 2 years.. but her personality is so poignant that it doesn't feel like she's aged.  I'm not really sure how long Podencos are supposed to live, but obviously Meri is going to live forever because I need her.  That's actually not an exaggeration.


The day that FB banned my Marketplace access, Teh German showed me a Marketplace posting of someone selling "WW2 memorabilia".. What was the "memorabilia"?  A NAZI FLAG.  Some fucktard can sell a fucking Nazi flag on Marketplace, but I get banned for posting furniture?

Someone else tell me they see the problem with that! 
So much rage.


Oh and to follow up on the FB review, I received the same canned response from the account I do use, "We cannot take further action and we will not revoke this decision" or some thing rage inducing to that effect.  I asked HOW I had violated the standards and they refused to answer.  That's fucked up.  Period.  I get that FB doesn't care about a single individual, but I searched around for others also having this problem and they are out there.  Granted, most of them don't seem to speak English well, but still. 



We had a showing on Monday evening and opted to take the dogs to Commonhouse while we had a beer.  It was decided quickly that if there were more showings, we'd be sitting our ass in the pool parking lot because I just could not deal with that again. 

Sandy insisted on sitting on my lap, the entire time.  Teh German, I guess, thought it was going to be a good time for scrolling and got pissed at me when I asked him to take one of the 2 dogs I was holding while I ate my fried Oreos.  Meri pooped on the fake grass.  I'm always paranoid that with all 3 dogs in the back of my car, one will get snarky and chaos will happen and we'll end up at the e-vet, because I escalate EVERYTHING quickly.


We're using a POD to move our shit and it arrives on Oct 2nd.  It could have arrived tomorrow (Saturday), but I didn't want it sitting in the driveway making me feel guilty and I know that once it arrives we're going to want to get everything packed. I also know that we don't want to live in an empty house ANNNDD we do not currently have packing materials (and I'm banned from Marketplace to try and find any, of course).  So I pushed it back until Oct.

In the meantime, I've really got to figure out a way to get some shit sold.  I've told Teh German he really needs to post the stuff he wants to sell on FB and get it gone so he can then post the furniture for me and sell that. 

I shouldn't feel bad that he's going to have to deal with that, but here I am, feeling bad for sharing domestic problems/duties.  Why am I the way I am?  Seriously?  He's just as capable as me at selling shit.  Probably more so because he's way more cut and dry than I am.


I'll be making a multi-purpose trip up to MD at the beginning of Oct.  Multi-purpose, in that, we'll be delivering some stuff up there (motorcycles, dogs) and I'll be dog sitting for Teh Bestie/Teh Chief Smartass while they are away.  Teh German will come up with the remaining dog and stuff and go back over the weekend.  Then I'll leave during the following week and we will finish packing our shit into the POD, pack our shit for Barbados, go to Barbados, then come back and haul ourselves to MD.

In case ya know, you were starting to think that there wasn't any enough chaos in my life! :D

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Birthday collars for Sandra Dee.
-RBG "I dissent" hoodie (it spoke to my soul, I couldn't not)
-birthday gift cert for Matilda
-Med Sonic smores milkshake that has been eaten over 4 different dessert sessions.  #Win
-Bully sticks.

DREI - From My Phone Shit 

All these beings in the office "break room"!
Frogs and dogs!

Sandy decided that she was le tired and would be sitting on my lap because I'm Santa.

Finished up my 5ks for my runDisney virtual challenge!  Wewt!

Lemon Chicken Picatta.
I combined several recipes I found online to make this one and added spinach (that needed to be used) and omitted capers because we do not like.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

Me, about selling our SC house.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. "Downstairs Music" Alexa group which enables me to listen to music with "surround sound". lol
  2. Teh German saying, "You're going to have to set Willow on fire," when I told him about the cockroach story which he hadn't seen on FB yet.  When he knows my reactions, it brings me joy.
  3. As much as it sucks, giving the dogs showers.  It takes for fucking ever and I have to brush Sandy before and after and makes my back hurt sooo bad, but they are so floofy and pretty and smell so much better after it's done!
  4. Chiro visit.
  5. Training for work things.  Maybe one day I can actually do work things!
  6. Eating lunch with Teh German, errday!
  7. 10k on Wednesday that didn't kill me.
  8. Cooler temps.  It's not been higher than 85° this week (I think) and it's been delightful.  I'm hoping for a day in the 60s to knock out a half marathon, even if I'm not trained up for that kind of mileage.  I'll make sacrifices for no hills and "cool" temps!
  9. Less than 30 days till Barbados!
  10. Moving plans starting to line up.  Gettin' all those spinning wheels coordinated!

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Monday, September 14, 2020

Weekend Review {9/14}


Teh German's last day at his CHS company and my last day of having the house to myself.  Because of house selling woes, no workout in the AM, but I did get up at 0415 since my brain wouldn't STFU.  I tried to nap during lunchtime and again, with the nonstop brain noise.  Unfortunate since our evening would be spent driving.

My runDisney virtual race medals arrived.  I have already completed 2 of 3 5ks to earn these medals, and I would have completed the 3rd one had we not gone out of town for the weekend.  Oh well, I've been told there's cool weather on the horizon for next weekend and if I don't knock it out before then, I'll definitely get it done by next weekend.

I'm taking it easy on myself because there's a lot going on and I need to stop wrapping myself up in everything.

Are there things cuter than this Floofernoodle with her crazy hairs?  I think NOT!

We couldn't leave for our weekend getaway until FedEx delivered Teh German's new job equipment.  I guess it worked out that Teh German didn't get home until 4 on his last day because FedEx didn't deliver until after 6:30 and I had been harassing Teh German to call FedEx and validate that his shit would definitely be coming so we weren't just waiting around for nothing (and me missing Teh NY Chef's bday dinner at Halls).

We were pretty much ready to leave after FedEx delivered.  I just had to switch on all the lights and pull the dog beds to the garage since we were having an open house on Saturday.  Teh German and I had a huge blowup as we were trying to load up the dogs so that definitely fits our Friday evening standard.  Ugh.

We managed to get on the road by 7, stopped at Chickfila for dinner (my peace offering to Teh German), and made it to the AirBnB shortly after 10.

Once we got the dogs settled, we had a beer and then it was bedtime.


We spent most of the day on the screened-in porch since it was raining  Meri was on high alert the entire day looking for squirrels and critters in the trees.  Pax and Sandy were also curious, but they did at least settle while we had coffee and screen time.

For lunch, we decided to drive into Greenville (SC) and grab bbq from Moe's BBQ and visit Liability, the brewery next door.  We had Moe's when we were in Steamboat Springs and I kept mentally willing us to be back in CO, but it didn't work.  Oh well, SC it is for a little while longer.

We had a few beers at Liability, Teh German finally talked to me about his aggravations (which always helps soothe things between us, even if I get butt-hurt about whatever he says at first) regarding my stress and house selling, and then decided to go back to the house and be lazy/productive.  I planned for a nap, Teh German planned on accomplishing his onboarding tasks.

Shuffles wouldn't settle until a bed was brought into the bedroom for her to be within umbilical cord distance of her Mahm.

After my nap, Teh German and I took the break in the rain as an opportunity to walk down to the lake.  If it hadn't rained all day, I'd have considered taking the canoe out on the lake, buttt alas.  I didn't even bother to get my feet wet, but the property was super cool.

Thirsty bitches, lol

We opted to order Mexican for dinner and I went out to pick it up.  Then we spent the evening on the porch listening to music/the rain and scrolling.  So much scrolling.  /shrug.

Eventually it was bedtime.


Checkout time was at 11 on Sunday.  I tried to get late checkout, but the host had already agreed to let the next person check in early (which I feel is kinda crappy, but I'm selfish, kthx).  We left right at 11 and headed to Eggs Up Grill, since the local place I'd wanted to check out was, of course, closed on Sundays.  Because there seemed to be a lot of people inside, I ordered online and went inside and picked up our order when it was ready.  We ate in the vehicles since we didn't want to leave the children unsupervised in the cars and it's still too hot to leave them in the car without the air being on.

After we ate, we gassed up, then headed back to Charleston. 

When we got home, we moved back in and turned off all the lights.  We also moved the First Child Room bed, now Teh German's Office, outside to the front porch for porch pick up.  I used Teh German's FB acct to post on the neighborhood page that the mattress/box spring/frame was available for FREE and if it didn't disappear it'd be going to the dumpster.  Thankfully, the mattress/box spring were gone by the time we went to bed.  The frame is still on the curb, but I imagine the scrap medal scavengers will probably pick it up before the trash truck comes and if not, it will be relocated to the construction dumpster.

We had early dinner and then finished Community.  Did I cry at the actual emotional parts of the final episode?  Yes.  Was the emotion ruined by whatever what shit was at the end?  Yep.

Eventually it was bedtime, since some of us had to work on Monday... but not Teh German as he is unemployed until Tuesday, lol.


While being out of town for the weekend was good, it was also a flop for the root reason.  No one came to the Saturday open house and only one person scheduled a viewing after the open house.  Because I'm an asshole, I semi-forced an open house on Sunday as well, where we only had 1 showing.  Siiiigh. 

Here's the Megan reality.
The realtor made me feel put out of my own home, which is why we left for the weekend and why I was a twat when there were ZERO people at our open house on Saturday and forced the Sunday open house.  She had been confident about raising the price of the house last Tuesday and.. she's the professional, so we went along with that.  I had doubts because of statistics another realtor had shown us about pricing compared to viewings, but I let greed rule and the realtor seemed confident about raising the asking price, so we agreed.  She had made me feel like our house would be constantly occupied by strangers all weekend long and kept asking me, "what will you do during showings?" 

Sunday, while she was here for the open house, she sent me a screenshot about a deadline for offers from Redfin and how that was a good indicator that we were priced right.  Then, this morning (Monday) she messaged me about lowering the price because she had been anticipating more interest over the weekend.  Let me just say, this roller coaster is NOT for me.  I told Teh German that I feel like she's experimenting with our sale and the price because she wants to sell something at that figure.

Either way, Teh German and I agreed to wait until next week to make a determination about lowering the price since we're not in a hurry to sell and it would look sketchy AF to lower the price less than week of listing it.  So all those dream stories of a house selling in 12 hours?? I should have known better to put stock in something that happens so commonly actually happening to us/me (the crack fall-er-through-er).

So that's disappointing, but part of our chat at the brewery was about me not being psycho about selling the house and me letting it go and just letting it happen (and the irony of who that came from was something I had to stifle my laughter on).  It also really helps that Teh German will now be home during the day and everything will not fall on me to take care of (also part of our chat). 

Speaking of Teh German being home.  He set up his office (RIP First Child Room, lol) this morning.  He will purchase a chair and chair mat today and maybe some other accessories and pick up the Sam's order.  One less thing for me to do!  YAY!  I had actually considered taking First Child Room as my office, but all my medal and diplomas are on the walls in the downstairs office, so I stayed where I was.

Teh German's Office with a view.

First visitors!

So that's where we are...
Now for me to actually get to do some work, that'd be great!  My workmates don't seem to be in a hurry for me to pick up responsibilities which is nice and infuriating because I want to do things but at the same time, it's nice being able to handle all this personal crap (as I've said before). 

Thoughts and prayers are probably needed for my realtor because I'm ready to throttle her, but I'm trying to be cool, and I'm 100% very much NOT cool.  Also, Teh German and I both being home all day.. definite thoughts and prayers for that.  I'm curious to see how it will wash out and what our new schedule is going to be.  I'm giving it another week or so for things to really set up.  I've already been warned there will probably be a pot of coffee always on during the day.. because Teh German drinks that much coffee!  /horror emoji lol 

Onward to new situations!

Friday, September 11, 2020

Five on Friday #240

EINS - Random Shit

Since I graduated in 2007, I've wanted to use my Media degree.  YALL.. I might actually get to do that with this job because our office has taken on more of a role in media production and several of my coworkers also have media types of backgrounds and, if I had a penis, learning that fact would have given me a stiffie.  #NotSorry.

In addition, I actually get to do IT/database/data science things and if I didn't already have a hard-on from the media things, getting to do actual work using my CS degree would have definitely done it for me.

YAY for good life choices!


Let me explain my Tuesday Trial.

0720, be at VA for blood draw.  NBD.
Go get Bojangles to celebrate the loss of 5 vials of blood.
Go to Walmart to pick up grocery items/order.
Agree to let the photographer come at 4 instead of 5.
Agree to let the photographer come at 11 instead of 4.
Go home and attend DSU-Facetime meeting.
Manage inbox, respond to ignored text messages.
Start cleaning like a dervish (no more nose art, vacuuming, hiding shit that shouldn't be in staged house photos).. I can feel the sweat rolling down my back when the photographer and realtor arrive.
Realtor helps me "clean" and turn on lights.  Notice some odd spots on the runner and stairs, suspect poop foot, but cannot determine.  Go upstairs to vacuum.  Realtor starts messing with light switches (HUGE NO NO in this house).  Fish tank alarm goes off.  I race downstairs terrified at what has happened.  Realtor says she undid whatever she did to make the alarm go off (spoiler alert: she did NOT).  Beds made and dog beds relocated and entire upstairs vacuumed.  I go downstairs to breath since the cleaning is done and let the dogs in.  Pax jumps on the couch with a bloody foot.  Have to clean that.  Determine it was DEFINITELY poop on the rugs, determine that Sandy is Princess PoopFoot.  Realtor watches while I pick and cut dingleberries from Sandy's big fuckin' hoof.  Run upstairs to grab the pool fob for them to take pool photos and realized photographer had left some random shit in the closet photo (at which point, I was confident that everything was truly fucked).  Made him redo that shit.  Realtor starts to move the rug she'd rolled up from the garage and it got stuck in the garage door, at which point I realized that she'd rolled up a 33 foot runner AND the 3 separate carpet pads all together so it was absolutely unmanageable.  I actually said, WTF why would anyone roll all this up together?  She looked sheepish.  I tell her I'll fix it myself since I'll just clean the floor while the rug is rolled up.  Manage to get the rug and pads out of the doorway.  They leave.
I sit down to catch up on emails.
Realize it's almost 1 and force myself to eat lunch since I have a 1pm meeting.
Eat during meeting.
Almost fall asleep on my desk during meeting.

Then in the afternoon, I went out to pick up the new router from Best Buy and came home to set it up while Teh German had his hairs did.  When he got back I had finally given up and called our ISP for troubleshooting help since nothing I had tried worked.. including properly plugging it in.

I had called before getting ragey AND the problem was actually at the ISP end, so there would have been nothing I could have done anyways.  So while mildly frustrating, I was able to get it all sorted out before I went all Anger from Inside Out on the situation.  Annnddd tttthhheeennnn, because I didn't want our things to get confused, I created a new wifi name, which meant that we had to spend the rest of the evening fixing all the smart home devices we have.. ya know, all 39581840102 devices that feed on wifi.  /facepalm for days.

It was tedious, but not as difficult as we anticipated.  The only complicated thing was the door lock due to the banding situation, but I managed that with a little bit of TLC.


Speaking of media degrees and Megan expertise..  a photographer came to the house on Tuesday to take listing photos.  I requested to see them.... and based on my overly high standards... they fucking sucked (because the motherfucker didn't even use a flash and I live in a cave so they were ALL over-edited to the point of everything being pixelated and having glowing edges in an attempt to brighten them) and I said NOOOOOPPPPPEEEEEEE.

Yall, I wasn't even overly nice about it either.
I'm going to be completely honest... he can do better than this.  All of these photos are sooooooo edited, to the point that you can actually TELL in the photos because there is distortion and noise and "glowy" edges.  For a camera "that does good in low light", I expected a LOT more.  Also, I checked out his Instagram page, he obviously knows his way around Photoshop... unfortunately for him, I also own a "big" camera and can do photoshop things, but I'm not the one getting paid to do that.  Worse, I'm the one, ultimately, paying, and I expect more.

So another photographer came on Thursday to take photos.


Then onto Wednesday Woes:
I had arranged doggy daycare for the beasts on Saturday so we could have an open house, but our realtor kept asking about when people could come view the house outside of that time and I was just short of a meltdown, because I have to do something with 3 dogs and would need to straighten up the house (i.e. hide shit) before people could come and we couldn't be home... and WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO with 3 dogs and an inability to be home during the middle of a work day?!  FUCKING FUCK.

OH AND... because I insisted on new photos we listed a day later... so what about people coming on Sunday to see the house?  AND THEN.. LIGHT BULLLLBBBBB: Errbody is gettin' up out dis bisch.

I started looking into AirBnBs in Savannah (because I still haven't been there) and couldn't find anything reasonable that allowed pets.  Then I was like, what about Asheville?  Ugh, that's so far away.. But THENNNN... I was looking at the AirBnB map with available places and found a place on the water that is 3 hours away that allowed dogs AND had a screened in porch AND a fenced in portion of the yard.

I checked with Teh German to see about going away instead of being home and dealing with all of it and he accepted this suggestion. I cancelled the doggy daycare arrangement and made the reservation in BFE.  So while Teh House is being whored out, we'll be chillin' on the water, watching the sunset and praying that Meri doesn't jump the fence.

Requesting thoughts, prayers, vibes, rain dances, stripper dances, whatever you want to offer to your favorite deity if you have one.. I NEED the offers to come in for the house while we're gone because the idea of having to hole up in First Child Room with Teh German + 3 dogs + Myself while people come to view the house during working times is so absolutely abhorrent and unappealing that I'm not really sure I can handle that.


Thursday Tribulations

First thing Thursday morning, I woke up and started getting the house ready for photos.  I had all day, HUGE difference in the way things can go.  I laid out fresh sheets for the cleaner to put on, stripped the bed, washed the weighted blanket cover, hid all the stuff in the bathroom, showered, went downstairs and hid things, finally sat down with cereal at my desk to start doing work things.

I have a daily FaceTime meeting at 0930.
The plumber was supposed to come at 10.

What time did the plumber show up?  0935.
Now look.. I get that you want to be early to get on with your day.  I get that being early is more acceptable than being late.  But here's the thing.  I made an appointment at 10 because that's when I AM AVAILABLE.  Not 0935.  Not 0945.  At 1000, I am ready.  Being ON TIME is an art in precision.  If you tell me to be somewhere at a specific time, that's when I'll be there.  I will usually not be more than 5 minutes early.  If I am late it's because there were unforeseen circumstances.

Obviously, I managed it and my coworkers are completely aware that my life is utter nonsense and chaos right now, so it wasn't a big deal.. but Jesus take the wheel.  I was pleased to see that several other coworkers were dealing with screaming children and various issues during our meeting, so it wasn't just me.

After the meeting, I took the opportunity to roll up the runner and carpet pads, do the laundry, relocate the dog beds, and put away the dog toys upstairs.  The plumber finished up and explained to me that now our hot water would be really hot, determined that the water heater thermostat had never been installed by Dan Ryan (similar to the valves that the plumber was there to install), and charged me $400.  Honestly, if this fixes the cold water sandwiches that I've been experiencing, fine.  I had anticipated something along the lines of $300 (because that's what Teh German had said Mr. Golfer had paid for the same service), but I just wrote the check and moved along with my day.

Then, the cleaner who I'd had to reschedule twice, once for her schedule, once for mine, didn't arrive until noon and with her track record of sometimes not showing up and not letting me know until when she'd actually be at my house.. my rage started amping up.  Thankfully, she did come, but I was mentally steeling myself for having to put sheets on the bed and dusting and cleaning the bathrooms.. yet another thing I'd have to manage on my to-do list.

I realized maybe some of my agitation was due to hunger and I went to the fridge to discover that Teh German had taken ALL the leftovers of what I had planned on having for lunch.  Was there other food that could have been eaten in the house? 100% yes.  Was I overly mad about it? 100% yes.  What did I do about it?  I went to McDonald's because it was quick and I like to leave the house for at least a short period so the cleaner can clean the office without me being in there.

I had explained to the cleaner that the photographer was coming at 4.  She acknowledged this.  I assumed she'd be leaving at 4.  Nope.  She was still cleaning.  Thankfully, she wrapped it up within 10 minutes or so, but come on.  Teh German had messaged me to tell me he was on his way home, but truthfully, it didn't matter if he was there or not.  If I had needed assistance, it would have been BEFORE the photographer arrived.  Whatever.  I didn't clarify.  Oh yeah! ANNNDD the realtor had already informed me that she couldn't be here for when the photographer came because something about a Zoom meeting for her kid's school?  IDK.  And earlier that morning she'd asked if someone else could host our open house on Saturday.  Yall.. why the fuck am I paying her a 3% commission?  To list on MLS?  I could have paid $100 and listed on MLS myself (which I just learned 3 seconds ago, thank you Googly).  Also, I do realize she's handling all of the showing stuffs while we're away this weekend.  That's why I'm paying her.  But I'm still gonna bitch about it.

This photographer took his time taking photos.  He took multiple angles of each room.  He asked me why I hadn't liked the other photos.  At first, I couldn't remember and I just felt like an asshole (which I am, but like.. not intentionally all the time).  He asked if he could see the photos and I pulled them up on my phone and they didn't look all that bad.  And then I zoomed in on one and remembered quickly: over-exposed, super noisy, and THE SHIT ON THE GUY'S LENS!  The guy explained that for everything to be so bright is common of industry photographs.  I didn't disagree but I explained that I still wanted the photos to LOOK good.  I also explained that I, too, have a DSLR and use Photoshop and Lightroom.  I'm not asking for $3000 photos, but I am asking for something at least up to the standards of current cell phone photos (from someone who knows what they are doing, not your grandma on Skype for the first time).

Additionally, this time, I walked through the house with the person and was able to move shit that shouldn't be there and told him, if you see something that should be moved, do that.  Once he was done, Teh German and I had some scrolling time.  Teh German almost got out of making dinner since it was storming, but it never rained at our house.  The radar showed that it was raining within half a mile of us though.  Boo.  Eventually, Teh German made dinner and we set about trying to relax.

I had texted the realtor to ask about the process of listing and we ultimately decided to list the house with just a photo from the front with the floor plan and then edit the listing to add the photos after the photographer sends them on Friday.


Gentle Readers,
Our house is officially for sale and I'm having feelings about it.

Sadness because I absolutely love this house.  It's everything we want/need, even if it is a little bit too big for us.  It's our first house and we built it (and our relationship survived building it) and we improved it and we loved it.  We have framily here.  And mostly.. IT'S OUR HOUSEEEEEEE.  This feels like what it would feel like if we had kids and one went to live overseas and we'd rarely, if ever, see it again.

Tempered with excitement for new adventures and living somewhere that it snows and summer doesn't last 8 months of the year and being near Teh Bestie again and living so close to DC which is simultaneously a shit show and a thrill because big things happen there AND there's so much to do.


Friday Follies:
0337, my brain: Heeeeeeeyyy girrrrrllll, wake upppppp.  You don't need sleep.  You need ANXIETY!!!  Come on.  You have to pee.  Just go pee and we can lay here until it's daylight outside thinking about all the things you absolutely cannot control.
0347, me: Fine. I'll pee, but I'm coming back to bed to do breathing exercises to go back to sleep, asshole.
0347, brain: Yasssssss.
Pee, go back to bed, attempt breathing exercises.
0402, me: This isn't working.
0402, brain: Huh, you don't say.
0402, me: I should just get up.
0402, brain: OH NO!  Just lay here!  Teh Cloud is the best place!
0402, me: But I'm going to wake up Teh German.
0402, brain: Nah, he sleeps like the dead.  He's fine.  Let's just think about things.
0402, me: I don't want to think about things, I want to SLEEP.
0403, brain: You don't mean that.
0403, me: I do.
0411, me: Welp, it's fuck-this-shit-o-clock.
0411, brain: We were having such a good, anxiety-riddled, time!
0411, me: If I get up now and start doing work things, then I can take a nap later.
0411, brain: Yeah, if you say so.
0415: downstairs, signed in, set desk back up for use, doing things.



As a dog mom, it is very rare for me to be able to poop in peace without the sound of some asshole pacing outside the door with their clicky-clicky nails on the floor, driving me absolutely insane.

Do you know what the most peaceful thing is?  Pooping at 0515 when the dogs are still in bed because you shut them in the bedroom when you got up at 0413 to go downstairs.

NO PACING!  No huffs!  No clicks!  Blissful silence.


We've been sleeping with a weighted blanket for a long time now.  Like almost a year.  I figured it would be NBD to switch it out with a regular quilt for showing purposes and so I didn't have to wrestle that fucking things 2x in one day. 

I was wrong.  Apparently, I MISS the sound of the beads shifting when I move and the weight is comforting, even if moderately annoying when you have to literally lift weights to roll over.


I would be remiss not to mention the elephant in today's room: 9/11.

Today is such a somber day for so many people, not just Americans.  We think back to what happened 19 years ago and what we were doing and how we came together and how far apart we are now.  My heart is heavy for those who were forced to grieve for more than just the US being attacked, for actual personal loss.  I read the transcription of the call from Brian Sweeney to his wife, Julie, and I tear up every time because I cannot imagine what I'd say to Teh German in a situation where I know I'm probably going to die. 

I think of this call year-round because it's haunting.  Such a private moment shared with the world that we can all empathize/sympathize/relate to in some way.  It's the reason that even if I'm absolutely at my wits end with Teh German and we're giving each other a 3 day silent treatment, I'll still tell him that I love him when we get off the phone/part ways.. because the reality is, you never know which moment will be your last, but I do know that I'd regret every stupid moment of a 3-day silent treatment if that was the last thing we ever didn't say/said to each other.

So often, years later, the common theme was, we reacted in the way we thought was best with the information we had at the time, and that was acceptable.  Yes, errors were made, but they were made in haste as a reaction to the events that had occurred and some of those errors were later remedied or reversed.  (Yes, I'm aware some were not.)

(And to get on my soapbox...)
I believe that we need to look at the past and learn from it.  We are making history right now and yet we are blind to the paths that we had to traverse to get where we are now.  We insist on the stubborn, "we are right!" path, rather than learn from mistakes.  Many people often feel injustice when they have only been inconvenienced.  We need to learn to recognize ACTUAL injustice and change course to right the wrongs.  We might not be able to make up for the past, but we can blaze a new path forward.  That's the thing about learning from mistakes, you can choose to repeat them or you can choose something different, whether it be radical or barely noticeable.  Making the CHOICE is the first step to making big change.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-A new router
-New dog food (fingers-crossed, ALL the dogs can eat this one without reactions)
-Vet visit for Pax and his broken toe nail.  Ugh.
-Sonic Smores shake.  It's fucking delicious and all I think about these days.
-House Selling Getaway Weekend (AirBnB)

It's been an expensive ass week.  Do not like.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Theoretically good idea: Burn pallets.
Executionally bad idea: Burn pallets when it's 90°F outside.

When you bought 2 phone stands because work and home and felt kinda lush about it..
and then you were given a work phone and actually USE two phone stands...

Crockpot chicken + store-bought broccoli cheddar soup + Panera bread bowls = no sadness.

My official desk "decoration" as a new job celebration.

"I no longer look for a place to stand,
I look for a place to fly."

Also, Flying Edna is StoryPeople, except not really.  It's complicated.

When my cell phone photo of my house looks better than the "professional" photos.

That white spot looks tiny in the photo, but it is NOT in person.
That's where something was touching the wall and when I moved it, the paint moved too.

I had been hopeful we'd make some money on selling the house.
Turns out, we won't.. as we're going to have to burn it down now.

Mooooooooooooose Snoooooooooooooooooot

A tiny widdle Muppet-ier.

A big ol' muppet snoot!

Against Meri's will.

Sandra Dee and her broccoli!

Sandra Dee and the Snek.


VIER - From the Internet Shit

My current jams:

Even if it is not because of a failure, but a SUCCESS.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. Dog visits behind the desk.  For as much as they annoy me, I also love it.  For instance, while I was typing this, Sandy decided she needed attention RIGHT NOW and kept bumping my elbow.  I gave her the WTF? and then she rested her chin on my shoulder like a parrot and started licking my ear.  It's hard to be mad when you're laughing.
  2. Setting my foot down on shitty photos.  I asked my sounding boards for a sanity check, but they weren't available and so off I went on my merry way.
  3. Being able to leave the door open without feeling like I was paying to air condition outside... for like 3 hours or something.  It was good.
  4. Lists with reminders.. Otherwise, I would have forgotten something in the staging.
  5. Sitting outside for dinner after we cleaned the pergola.  It's nice when our space is clean and not depressing.  Too bad it's still mostly too hot to be out there more.
  6. No one at New Job being overly worried if I'm productive or not.  Really makes dealing with my personal disasters much easier.
  7. Laughs with Teh German.  He's pretty funny.
  8. Deciding to get out of town for the weekend.  It makes so many things less stressful, even if it did require being overloaded to come to that point.
  9. Not working out.  This week, we got a pass, it was agreed.  Next week, Teh German starts his new job and teleworking, so that will also be an adjustment!
  10. Surviving this motherfuckin' week and putting the house on the market, officially.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.