Five on Friday #226

EINS - Random Shit

Real talk, if you are a vlogger, LOOK AT THE FUCKING CAMERA.  Do NOT look at yourself for your entire video (if you are using your cell phone or some media showing device to record yourself).  Jesus Christ, why isn't this obvious?  Talk to ME, your viewer, not to yourself.  I know, it's hard not to watch yourself, but you can do it.  I swear.  If you need to check yourself every so often, that's cool, but watching yourself for a 10 minute video?  I will rip off your arms and beat you with them.

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I might have admitted this before, but it's worth posting again.

It always takes me 3 holes to hang something on the wall that has 2 hangers (a hook on each side).  Every.fucking.time.
Please also note that I hang stuff by the "eh, that's fine" method 95% of the time, which means eyeballing it to see if something is straight or not.

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A few of my bras have a sparkly edging on the cups.  Monday, the dress I wore kinda showed the sparkly area of my bra through the fabric of the dress.  I deemed myself, "Sparkle Tits."

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Does eating frozen yogurt count as taking probiotics?  Asking for a friend.

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Sometimes, I creep on what my Spotify friends are listening to and listen to their playlists that are made for them.  I have learned (and am not surprised by) the fact that Teh Sister and I have very similar music tastes.  Thanks, Sis!

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There are few things worse than the smell of Lowcountry being trapped in your car.  If you cannot relate to this, imagine that you fart your worst smelling fart then open your door and get out of your car and do your thing.  When you get back in your car hours later, it still smells like the fart.  Except worse because now it's warm.  It's a fetid fart.  #HateHateHate

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It's been a hot minute since I posted a Shit Teh German Said (STGS) post.. and I wanted to discuss that for a second.  First off, I will say that there is a STGS post scheduled for this month.  But I often struggle with documenting the hilarious shit he says because... I want to enjoy it.  I don't want to have to stop cackling to text myself the conversation.  It really takes away from my enjoyment of the moment.  So I'm torn.  I know everyone loves those posts, because they are, obviously, hilarious.  But it takes effort for me to laugh, then recall the conversation with perfect clarity and text it to myself.  Effort that I don't always want to put in.

So just know, I'm debating on whether or not to make more of an effort again for STGS posts.  I can't guarentee anything will change, but it's on my mind.

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PITA Professor straight up called me out on doing less good this semester than I did last semester.  HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Senioritis!

"Your performance thus far has been below your normal excellent performance, you can do better!

Also, this is specifically on his daily quizzes and often I mix up 2 definitions, which means that I don't just miss 1 question, but 2 and when a quiz has less than 10 questions, that's a pretty significant portion.  Maybe looking at the material would help, but mostly, IDGAF.  /shrug. And also.. if my average quiz grade is my lowest grade of 3 tests and the final exam, it will get dropped anyways.  #DoNotCurr.

I'm always really affected by disappointment, so while this comment makes me laugh on the outside, it is really getting under my skin.  I know that logically, of course, I am doing poorly because we've had 10 quizzes and I missed 2 of them when I was out sick (and we're not allowed to make them up), so those are probably also dragging my average down.  Like, I understand the LOGIC of why he'd write that comment, but I can literally do NOTHING to improve other than study better for quizzes, which I don't really care to stress myself out over.  I'm not sure why I'm still wrestling with this.

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Dear Spotify,
I haven't listened to Christmas music since December.  You can update my "Recently Played" playlists now... /facepalm

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Teh German is pretty bad about just going on Amazon and buying something, rather than doing any price comparing at other places we shop at (i.e. Sam's Club).  I'm hoping he learned his lesson recently when he paid double for an item on Amazon that he would have paid if he would have purchased it at Sam's.

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Dear Chase,
Thanks for free Doordash delivery for a year.  Now I might actually be tempted to use Doordash.

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First, there was just fat week.
Then, there was fat week and skinny week.
Then, there was fat week, motivated week, then skinny week.
Then.. there was fat week, motivated week, exhausted week, then skinny week.

This is all because having a uterus is a punishment.

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Forgetting to turn on the crockpot in the morning is why someone invented the instant (it's not fucking instant) pot.  But for us, it just means a valid excuse to ride the bikes to dinner... which is exactly what happened on Tuesday, despite Teh German getting home later than usually AND me having a test on Wednesday (which meant I need to study the night prior).

I was stressed out about being out late and then Suzi wouldn't start so he had to ride the Bobber (what a rough life having 2 motorcycles to choose from!).. And guess what, it was all fine.  We ended up riding to the Workshop for dinner and I had zero regrets.  We made it home by 8:15 and I was still able to go through the remainder of the test review

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I loved The Ranch.. until this last season.  I'm super disappointed to admit that.  This season, all the jokes felt trope-y, tired, and forced.  I did still have some LOL moments, but mostly, I wasn't sorry to play games on my phone while The Ranch was on the big screen.

Next up: Vikings.
Also, I was informed that I would really like Dark.  My German class loved the show, so I'm curious.

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I almost sent Teh German a cheesy valentine's day beer gift basket to his office on principle to be like, SEEE this is what people that like each other do...
But I didn't because... I'm a petty asshole.
Ya know, in case you were worried about me not being a petty asshole.  I still am.
Additionally, I already purchased a couples massage for us, so I can use my gift certificate that he got me for Christmas/being a good cheerleader during the job change drama and I already paid for his massage.  Soooooo yeah.  Not keeping score.  And also, I don't want to fuel my own bitterness.  Because that's probably what it would do.

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Someone brought in 2 Edward's frozen pies for Thanksgiving and they are still in the freezer since we had wayyy too much food for work Thanksgiving.  Fast forward to February and I've been helping myself to freezer pie since it's fat week.  I'm NOT FUCKING SORRY about it either.

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My Stats professor is the least "Citadel-y" professor I've ever had and I'm not even sad about it.  He straight up told us how to work out one problem during the test and he answered my question, even if it didn't really help me get the answer because something was missing.  I pulled a "when it doubt, c it out" and called it done.

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What it's like to work with me:

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Does anyone else feel like this week took a millionty days to finally get to Friday?  Because I'm confident that's exactly how many days it's been since last week.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Groceries
-Power bill.  $100 in the winter makes me stabby since that means our AC has been running... IN THE WINTER TIME.
-Denver hotel
-Denver rental car

DREI - From My Phone Shit

New sign after I removed the millionth k-cup before I was able to brew my own coffee:
After brewing, please remove your mold developing k-cup from the machine.
Queen of Passive-Aggressiva strikes again!

Ring selfies.
Not sorry
88 days when I took this.

My new Company hoodie came in.  Small is WAY better than the medium.
Too bad it's too fucking hot here to wear a hoodie.  :|

Saw an APV just rollin' down the street with a non-uniformed person chillin' from the manhole.
Filed under: Really fucking bizarre shit.

When you're almost to the office and realize it's a school day.
Thankfully, work is halfway to school, even if a little out of the way, so I still managed to make it to school in time to get decent parking and in time for my test.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

As much as you have given thought to the way things were before,
you can give mindful grace filled thoughts to the present all the more.
MHN

Who you are right now matters more than you know.
MHN

you do not have to be fearless to be confident.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Learning a new, EASIER, way to do work things.  Thanks to a coworker for taking the 10 minutes out of his busy day to help me and make me more productive and less of a burden on him.  #TeachAManToFish
2. The Chiro.  
3. Freezer pie.
4. Patience.  Even if it's only minimal.
5. Accurate #BarometerHead readings.
6. Looking forward to a massage all week long.
7. Not succumbing to my own pressure to go out for breakfast/lunch.
8. Riding to dinner with Teh German on Wednesday.
9. Baloo being paid off.
10. Chatting with Teh Bestie during our drives, even if our phones sometimes cut out and we call each other back so quickly that we get each other's voicemail. 

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Five on Friday #205

EINS - Random Shit

Last Friday, Gmail was being weird.  I didn't really notice until I never received the email for our Walmart Grocery pick up.  Over the weekend, I didn't get on a computer at all (yay no homework weekends!), so I didn't open Gmail other than email notifications on my phone, which I usually see and delete right away.. except, I can't recall getting any email notifications all weekend.

Monday when I got to work and turned on the computer and loaded Gmail, I had 18 emails!  I know for many people that is not a lot, but I subscribe to 1 daily email.  That means the rest was Amazon emails, blog comments (sorry yall), and, of course, the Walmart Grocery emails.  DAFUQ?  DO NOT LIKE.

The worst part is that I had been pretty smug about having an empty inbox at the end of last week...

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Sooo uhhhh, fun story.
I have 2 Audible accounts.  Both are never active at the same time.. unllllesssss you suspend one account and forget that you didn't completely cancel the membership and it starts back up again and you don't pay attention because you're an idiot anddd well.. turns out, you DO actually have 5 credits to use on one account PLUS the credits on the other account..... FML.

I've been very confused when looking at Amazon books when it would say I had 5 Audible credits to use, but then I'd sign into my Audible account and it would only show 1 or 2 and I'd just think that the credit count hadn't synced or something..

No, my brain hadn't synced.
TL;DR: I cancelled one of the Audible accounts for real.  Did not suspend.  CANCELLED.
See also: WTF am I going to use all these credits on?  I'm already 5+ unlistened books deep.  Siiiiigh.
Such #FirstWorldProblems, I know.

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Me: Goo Goo Dolls are coming back to CHS in November!
Teh German (tG): Sooo we're going?
Me: You don't HAVE to go.
tG: How much are tickets?
Me: The seats I'm looking at are ~$50.
tG: That's expensive.
Me: Do you remember how much you paid for Blink-182 tickets that one time?
tG: I just remember that you were mad at me and now I'm glad I forgot.
Me: A LOT more than $50.
tG: I thought we talked about saving money...
*I did not purchase tickets.. despite really wanting to.


Later.
Me: So I can get an air fryer for $66 with a coupon applied and the Prime Day rewards applied, instead of $100.
tG: I thought we were saving money.
Me: We discussed maybe buying an air fryer if we liked how it cooked the schnitzel.
tG: I thought we were saving money.
Me: This is a planned expense.
tG: But spending money, even if it’s cheaper is still money spent.
Me: I bought an air fryer for $66.

Later.
I bought tickets for us to go ziplining while we are in NC.
#EndOfSemesterStressShopping

The next day.
I received an email from UPS letting me know a package would be arriving the following day from Cigars INC.. I forwarded the email to Teh German and did NOT type "I thought we were saving money" in the subject or email body.  #SmallVictories

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I get IMMENSE pleasure out of generations being called a singular name.  Like Gen X being Karen or Susan or Dan.  Or Boomers being called Peggy or Frank.  Or Millennials being called Skye or Payton.  I shouldn't.. but I do.  #NotSorry

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I haven't mentioned it, but I LURVE my Samsung Galaxy Smartwatch and I'm glad that the enablers enabled me to check it out.  I would have been ok with the Garmin watch, but I'm happy with the Galaxy.  Although, Google Fi isn't compatible with Galaxy phones currently, otherwise, I'd probably be planning my next phone to be a Galaxy so everything is streamlined.  #Nerd.

That said, the ONLY thing the Garmin fitness tracker has that the Samsung fitness tracker doesn't is a Menstrual Cycle tracker.  Apparently, back in spring 2018, Samsung said they were working on it and now it's over a year later and still nothing.. Uhhh wut?

Honestly, I didn't know what I was missing until Garmin pushed an update that included it a few months prior to my smartwatch purchase, but I really liked being able to track all the minute female details that I deal with.  I cannot understand why Samsung hasn't integrated this with their Health app, when others have been able to do it.

Yes, I could download a standalone app to track menstrual related things, buttttttt why do that when I can complain that my smart technology doesn't do what I want it to?  :D  And also, most menstrual trackers are tied into fertility trackers and I'm not interested in that.

Know what I am interested in?  A fertility test to determine if I can even make babies.. because if not, can I get this IUD removed?

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That reminds me.. I downloaded 4 different "lady time" apps and I'll be doing some RT&E (research, testing, and evaluation) to assess my feelings on them.

The apps I downloaded* were:
Clue Period Tracker
Period Diary
Period Tracker - Period Calendar Ovulation Tracker
My Calendar

*I'd link these for you, but there's a 50% chance it will work and I'd be annoyed if it didn't, so just do a googly search for these if you're interested.

I also reinstalled the Garmin app just for the menstrual cycle tracking abilities.  I have a feeling that I'm just going to use the Garmin app until Samsung gets their shit together and caters to the ~50% of their users without a penis.  Siiiiiiiiigh.

#LaterGram: I already deleted Period Diary and Period Tracker.  One you had to pay to unlock the features that are free on all the other apps.  The other just had a shitty UI (user interface) and it was clunky and difficult to use.

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For the last week, there has been a consistent banging noise from the construction area by our office.  Except, sometimes it's not consistent.. also, it's ~85bpm, per a coworker, so it's at a rate that is too fast, yet too slow.. and it's making me lose my mind.  I know this is first worldy, but I don't like having to put in my earbuds and turn on music to drown out noise.  That's where I am in my life now though...

The reason I don't like having to listen to music is because sometimes, I don't want the distraction.  There, I said it.

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Because I'm a bitch dog animal human, I treat myself with food.  So after my final test on Wednesday, I went to Ye Ole Fashioned for a brownie sundae.  It was a trial (you can read the story/review here), which made me angry that it was delicious.

Why do people have to be so shitty?

Thanks for your minimal effort, Cuntalotamus.

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I went through some nerdy instructions to get Google Assistant on my watch and I feel pride that I was able to follow directions and make it work.  Now to see how much this drains the battery....

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Things that make me irrationally angry:
-When I go to a website and the browser asks if me I want to allow or block notifications.  Block, always.  Why can't this be a preset somewhere?
-Then, after answering that question.. there's a huge popup on the site telling me to enter my email address to be added to their email distro for 10% off or some guilt trip thing..
-THENNNN... another popup asking me to disable my adblocker because they use that revenue to make content.
-When YouTube links have a preview with a play button and then when you click play, you get a message that the video is unavailable.
-Trains during rush hour.  Always.

Fuck you.
Fuck your house.
Fuck the horse you rode in on.
Get out my face with that shit.

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Geek Squad called me on Wednesday afternoon to tell me that my laptop was ready for pickup, and it was really fixed this time.  My entire Wednesday was fucking garbage, so I just had a feeling.. A feeling that my laptop was fixed and that would be the good thing that broke the spell of such a shit day/week/month ooooorrrr it wouldn't be fixed and the trajectory of my day/week/month was irreparable.

I was told I could come and pick it up at 8.  Glad I didn't bother being there before since there was only 1 tech working and he was already working with 2 other customers and didn't get to me until after 8:10.  I was patient.  I was going to be reunited with My Precious.  It was fine.  It was all fine.

Finally, it was my turn and the tech brought out my computer and he booted it up for me to check that the screen burn was, in fact, fixed...  I opened up paint to check the LCD on a white screen... AND THE SCREEN BURN WAS GONE!!!!!  YAY!  So then, I'm looking over the rest of the screen for pixels/imperfections/etc... and I noticed something in the middle of the screen and my heart drops.  I tried to scratch it off with my fingernail and it didn't budge.  I asked the tech if he had any screen cleaner and he cleaned the screen.  The imperfection was still there.. in the middle of the screen...

And y'all.. I almost lost it.  I almost had a break down in Best Buy at the Geek Squad counter because my life cannot actually be real.  All these trials cannot be real.  This has to be a set up.  Like, no one's life is actually this painful/inconvenient/full of trials... right?!

I know, I'm not homeless or in over my head with debt or lacking relationships or friendships.. I know that these "trials" I face are generally #FirstWorldProblems or even #MeganProblems... but as I've said before... It's exhausting dealing with thing after thing after thing after thing.. the never ending dealing with things that really should be quite simple.

And so.. for the 3rd time, my laptop got sent back for repairs.
I asked the tech for a sanity check and I'm not sure if he was just being nice because he saw that I was about to cry, "Am I being reasonable to send the laptop back again for this?"  Him: Yes.  I explained that I edit photos and imperfections on the screen aren't ok and he understood or didn't care.  I'm not sure which.  Either way.

Then , as I was about to walk away from the counter, he placed one of the check-in stickers ON TOP OF ONE OF MY STICKERS that is on the laptop cover and I'm confident they heard me across the store when I wailed, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"  The one thing I asked for when I dropped it off, the first time, was that the cover with the stickers be preserved, if possible, and I'm actually surprised that they have prevailed... and then, this dude goes and puts a sticker over one?  I c.a.n.n.o.t.

He insisted they are super easy to get off, buttttt as the person who removed the check-in stickers from the 1st repair session, they actually aren't that easy to peel off, thanks so much.  I just.. I'm trying not to care, but it is 100% taking everything in me not to have a meltdown over it.. and I know it's trivial, but for me it.is.not.  There, I said it.  Just thinking about it, after the fact, is giving me anxiety.

So close.
Also, I'm not sure why he couldn't have put the sticker OVER the stickers that they had already placed on the cover....
FUCKER.

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This morning I saw something about Mercury Retrograde and decided to look up the dates for Mercury Retrograde... We've been in Mercury Retrograde since JULY 8TH.

JULY 8TH, GENTLE READERS.

So practically this entire month, that I've been mentally struggling and feeling like I'm on the show, Punk'd, we've been suffering from Mercury Retrograde.

Now look.  I don't wholeheartedly believe in astrology.  In fact, I put about as much stock in astrology as I do in believe that weird shit happens when it's about to be a full moon.  I don't read my horoscope every day and generally, I don't look up astrology related things until something piques my interest or a LOT of weird shit has been going down.  But I can acknowledge that, sometimes, weird shit happens around the time of a full moon/moon related events and I can acknowledge that Mercury Retrograde generally fucks my life up. 

So for me to realize, after the fact, that it's been Mercury Retrograde for almost the entire time that I've been reallllllly struggling?  Yeah, I'll put some stock into that.  Not just because I need something to blame, but because maybe there really is something to it, even if I'm not sure the logic and science behind it... because there is logic and science behind it, even if it's not acknowledged.  We just "believe" in the "old wives' tales" that full moons cause craziness because we always have.

I am so angry and so relieved at the same time.

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I averaged my Chem grade and the only way I could raise my 88.6 to a B was by making higher than a 95 on the final exam.  The lowest grade I could make on the final exam and keep my B was a 50.  Sooooo, rather than stress myself out, I accepted that I'll be getting a B in chem and did minimal studying before the exam, knowing that I wouldn't be getting a higher score than a 95, but knowing that I have done well enough in the class to score better than a 50 on the final exam.

#PickingMyBattles

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This weekend includes:
-Tattoo time
-Zip lining
-Mountains
-And these babies:

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Old Navy credit card bill.  Oops, forgot I hadn't paid it off from when I bought the shorts.
-Zip line tickets.  #NOTSORRY
-Halls Chophouse/Kaminsky's
-Bojangles x2.  I'm vowing to do better.
-Water bill
-Power bill
-$66 5.8qt air fryer... now I need to get that Instant Pot out of my house.
-Brownie sundae I had to properly assemble as an end of semester/chemistry #TreatYoSelf
-Victoria's Secret sent me a $15 coupon for my "half-birthday" anddd they happened to have my style of bra on sale for $20, even though I didn't love the colors.  So I bought enough to get free shipping and when they arrive, I'll prob take my least faves back.  #Priorities

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Duolingo is creepy in how much it know about my life.
Or in this case, Teh German's life.

This bush had the potential to get UGEEEE (like it's sibling in front of the house)...
But, I just don't think it can handle all the water that it gets from the HVAC drippage.
It had flowers and a robust future when I relocated it.
Now it's just puny.  We'll see what happens with it.
But I don't have high hopes of it's survival.

Dem Beets.

And when the beet drops too hard.. and splashes..
and you get beet juice on your light colored shirt.
Dwight never warned me about beet juice or taught me how to deal with beet stains.

  

PMS snuggles with Doodlebug.
I'm glad my rolls provide her with a snoot tray.

Playtime with this Goof brings me so much joy.
Not just because it wears him out and he doesn't pester me, but also because he's just silly.

Pool time on Thursday evening for some bestie time with Teh PT Wife before we headed out of town.
I lived dangerously and didn't even apply any sunscreen except to my tattoos.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

In fact, I sighed heavily before I even got through this entire meme.

1993-1997 Camrys.

Or when a student asks a question that the teacher JUST FUCKING ANSWERED.

No your.. just kids in general.

The shadows that gathered around her could not hinder the light running wild within.
MHN

I cannot tell you the journey will be easy,
but I can tell you it will be worth it to keep going.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Ice cream in the fridge at work.
2. Clearing my move reminder by walking to the kitchen to fetch said ice cream.
3. NO MO CHEMISTRY!  
4. Even better, NO MO GENERAL EDUCATION CLASSES!!!!
5. Getting to see my laptop.
6. 1 more month through hurricane season means the cold weather comes sooner.
7. Voting on the Carolina Hurricanes new beer name.  Even if the options were all stupid and not specific to the Canes.
8. $60 a year gym memberships that mean no money guilt over not going to the gym.
9. Dogs at the office.  It's like work therapy dogs.  
10. Getting to do tech writer things this week.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

On Babies and Procreating.

I have a struggle.  It's about babies.  It's about not wanting them or wanting them.  It's about people's judgement and comments.

This is not a new struggle for me.
But what had happened was...

When I was sitting with the tax dude while he was doing our taxes, he said something about having 2 kids and I said, "I have 2 fur kids, it's a shame I can't get a tax credit for them."  He said, "So no human kids... yet."

Queue some Megan rage.

Just because my body contains the tools to reproduce doesn't mean I am obligated to use them.

That's the thing about humans, we can make choices about our bodies (ya know, for the most part, barring any government regulation, which is a can of worms we're not getting into right now).

Obviously, this is not the first time I've heard this comment, nor will it be the last.  "Yet," it really, really irks me... because at the end of the day, my reproductive business is no one else's business.  That's just how that works.

And then.. a few days later, a coworker brought her month-old infant to a work party so we could all meet him.  He was adorable.  I wanted to hold him, NBD, but I wasn't going to push everyone out of the way to be like, MY TURN BITCHES.  And after the other interested parties held him, he was passed on to me.. and never taken away.  He was cute and he wasn't crying and he was like a little lump.

And then what had happened was:
1- I waffled between being tired of holding him and wanting to put him in his carrier and just wanting to hold this cute, not crying infant because he was adorable and I hadn't gotten to meet him before and it's a baby, there's nothing shameful in holding a baby.
2- I felt (mysteriously) obligated to hold him.  Like, if I put him down my coworkers would think me heartless.  But I knew that by continuing to hold him, my coworkers were all thinking, "I know who is next! Tehehe."
3- I would move the baby around and everyone would hold their breath or comment that I was going to drop him.  Cue Megan rage.  Several times I had to say to someone who made a comment, "Is he crying?  Is he still alive?  Yes, and yes.. So he's fine and I'm fine and we're fine.  Thanks."

And then, Mom and Dad were ready to leave and I handed the baby back and guess what.. my uterus didn't explode from wanting.  I continued on about my day like I do.  Holding that infant didn't change my mind about my reproductive choices.  In fact, it kind of cemented my feelings even more.

There's even photographic evidence!

Maybe my reproductive choices are the problem.  And by THE problem, I mean MY problem.  Because I don't really want kids, but I'd be willing to use my tools maybe.  Teh German and I have discussed it several times and right now, we've both agreed that we do not want kids at this time.  I think what really gave Teh German pause was when I asked him why he wanted kids.  Because society/his family said so?  I'm not interested in that reasoning.... and here's why...

I told Teh German that if he really wanted to have kids, we would do it.  But it would be after I finished school.  Because I MATTER.  My priorities matter and, let's just be real for a minute, my body and time will be the most effected for the immediate time.  I also had to explain to him that all the fun stuff we do now (which he really enjoys) would definitely taper off.  Not because we're not awesome anymore, but because our priorities will have to be reevaluated to meet the demands of a tiny human.  The reality is, I'm not going to be the only one "sacrificing" because of a spawn.

Coincidentally, while I was typing this up waiting on my math class to start, a cadet was asking our professor about his day as "Mr. Mom."  I happily interjected and said, "Most people just call that, 'being a dad.""

These attitudes needs to change.
Because someone has a uterus doesn't mean it is their SINGULAR PURPOSE to create offspring and take care of those offspring.  Oddly enough, it takes two individuals to (naturally) make an offspring (in the case of humans at least) and "the nuclear family" is actually a pretty new concept.  People used to live in villages and everyone took care of everyone else, to include other's children.  Example: infants being fed from whatever female could nurse the baby.  It didn't have to be the mother.  Milkmaids were real.  They are not just from a song.

Additionally, the working woman has been around for forever.  Except that, women.had.help.  It's maybe amusing to imagine the caveman always being away hunting and the woman staying home to tend the farm and children.. but it wasn't like the man and woman lived all alone.  They.had.help.

Today, that same type of help isn't as prevalent.  This very much influences my decision to procreate.  Would I mind having a child if I know that I could go to work (which I do because I enjoy working) and someone I trust would be around to take care of the baby?  Maybe not as much.  Except that I still don't know WHY I should have a kid.  There is no reason that I, Megan LastName, NEED to procreate.

I don't need to pass on my genes for the human race to survive.
I don't feel an obligation to see what Teh German and I could create in a tiny human.
I mean, yeah, the science is cool, but the whole, still having to take care of it for forever and it getting to a stage where it talks back and acts like me doesn't surpass the thrill of "ooo, what could we make?"  It never will for me.  And also, I've seen our Snapchat face-swaps.  We should not procreate.

So this is me saying, fuck it.  Fuck whoever tries to make me feel less for not wanting children.  Especially fuck anyone who expects me to procreate because I have a uterus.  Fuck anyone who tries to tell me that I'm missing out/kids are worth it/it will fulfill me/whatever other possible reason/blah blah blah.  

In case you were waiting on it (because I sure was for a long time), this is your permission to reflect on your desires and make your own decisions.

This is your permission to be honest about YOUR desires, to tell society and whoever else to STFU because you will do what YOU want to do with YOUR body and that you have NO obligation to do whatever they did or what they expect you to do.

It is YOUR right, as a human
to make your own decisions.
Do that.

Five on Friday #125

EINS

This week's shit:

-My chemistry teacher seems to have a bad habit of having homework due dates posted and then AFTER they are due, she announces that they are not going to be due then.  She gets ONE more time of doing this before I call her out in front of the class.  Something to the effect of, "If this is going to be a regular occurrence, do you think you could start changing the due dates well ahead of time so I can stop having anxiety attacks while doing 4+ hours of chemistry homework that isn't due for another few days?"

-After Brit posted about perfectionism this week, I realized maybe I need to be better about letting myself off the hook a little bit.  That means accepting my test grades mostly. 

-A quick grade round up as an update:

• German test: all 95+'s.  Ain't no thang.  2 years of Duolingo may finally be amounting to something.  Who knew.  Additionally, we've had several vocab and essay tests to this point and I don't even discuss them since they definitely do not stress me out.
• Computer Science test: 94.  I expected a little lower honestly.  Some of the points I missed was because math.  Seriously, I said 3^2=6.  It's 9.  #Meganfail
• Math test: I got a 78.  I missed 5 points because I didn't put T/F on a group of questions, so I probably could have gotten at least an 80 if I had read the directions.  This was the test that I said, "I either confidently failed or passed."  I knew I wasn't going to do that well, but that doesn't mean I wasn't disappointed with this grade.  I was an A/B student all through high school and apparently those expectations never go away.  No matter how difficult the subject matter.  #Meganproblems
• Chemistry test: I got an 80.  I felt like I had done a little better than this, but it is what it is.  An 80 is still a B and that's an acceptable grade in my head.  79 would have been a disappointment.  

-My leg crack HS bump/BJB has been on high alert since school started, but this last week it has been extra miserable.  I was just enduring it and it wasn't going well.  It was difficult to walk and sit and mostly do everything.  Part of the reason I was enduring it was because I needed to do some lady-scaping because I knew that putting a bandaid on when the forest was at it's worst could only lead to even more pain.  I finally took care of the grooming situation on Thursday morning and applied a bandaid.  IT WAS LIKE A CHRISTMAS FUCKING MIRACLE.  No more pain every time I moved!  CRRRRAAAZZYYY!!  Like I had purchased those bandaids specifically for that purpose (truth).  FYI, I probably lost at least a quarter of a pound from my ladyscaping + shaving my legs.  Ya'll it was bad... let's just say, I'm glad Teh German is European. Ha.

-It's been shark week around these parts and it absolutely wiped me out.  I had to take afternoon naps after getting home because I couldn't stay awake.  I would wake up tired and then still fall right to sleep at bedtime.  It was rough.  I was also taking naps in my car before class since I usually have an hour to burn since I get to campus so early to avoid traffic.  At the same time, I bumped up my anxiety meds from 5mg to 10mg and it was too much.  I cut back to 5mg just in case.  I may try to bump back up on a week that isn't girl week and see what happens.  If I go back to my exhausted state, then 5mg is my magic number and I'll stick with that.

-Speaking of anxiety meds.  I believe they are working.  Shit that would be the end of the world, no longer is.  It's nice to feel level headed about life again and not always on the edge.  One of my coworkers said to me, "Oh, I thought you were all talk about the anxiety meds," after I said I had started them and I thought they were working.  Uhh, really?  Do you know me?  I finally explained to her that I'm not suicidal, but I know that my anxiety levels were constantly elevated.  When you are operating with high levels all the time, the smallest thing will set you over the edge, very much like what was going on with me.  Someone being slightly late for an appointment would set me over the edge.  The rage would overwhelm me and then I'd be exhausted from the overwhelming rage since I was already on high about everything else.

-Pinterest has a way for you to make ads go away, which I usually do.  I noticed a new option this week: "I just don't like ads."  ME!  THAT'S ME!  This is convenient since FB recently refreshed their algorithms recently and I spent 2 days hiding ads.  Now if FB would give me that option, I'd be set.  But seriously, just because I have a wedding board doesn't mean I need baby shit on my wall.  #ByeFelicia

ZWEI

Things I spent money on:

• Groceries.. and beer (which I will not be buying for another month).
• Teh German informed me that I would definitely be buying beer again in October since we will be having guests coming.  I completely blanked on his family being in SC for the wedding and he definitely gave me crap for "forgetting".  It's not forgetting, it's knowing that I'm barely around as it is.  He can take care of all that.
• Coffee x3 (if this is my new vice, then I'm just going to accept it.  It was girl week and I was dragging ass all week.)
• Shipping to send my wedding band back.
• Wedding bills: catering, flowers, plates/etc, unity thing.
• Walmart things (laundry soap, halloween candy, etc things)
• Lunch at Codfather...

DREI

From my phone:

Chem lab selfies while my experiment boiled.
Do you like my super awesome paper towel vent so my goggles don't fog up?  #hightech

The money I spent on this bad boy was TOTALLY worth it and all I want to do is flip through the book over and over and over.  It helped that there was a code for free extra pages.  I paid about $45 for a $150 book.  #likeaboss

If you like apple Jolly Ranchers, you'll like these.
If you're like me and do not like artificial apple flavor, pass.

Parks and Rec Easter Egg during the DoD Cyber Awareness training.
Of course Andy would call while I'm in the SCIF.
PS.  Do not judge my score.  It was my 2nd time this year doing that training and I was annoyed.

How Meri spent her 4th birthday:
Eating our Krispy Kreme while we were at work.
It's good she's so damn cute.

To finish off her day, we watched Mad Men on the upstairs TV so we could give her some extra birthday snuggles.
She didn't even complain a little bit.

 Teh Running Bestie is going to be so pleased to see this.
We're finally purging some of the mismatched dishes.

We received a set of dinnerware from our registry and I told Teh German that these were going to go.

I kept one set of the mismatches dishes until we receive the 2nd set I ordered (to have a total of 8 pieces each) or after the wedding when we buy the 2nd set.

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
A cow-culator

I forgot to selfie with the first joke of the week.  It was:
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns are broken.

It was cow week.  Next week I finally get to start incorporating some Halloween jokes.  YYYaaaassss..

VIER

From the internet:

It's definitely a click-bait site, but I thought these were hilarious. << Guys thoughts about menstruation.

FÜNF

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. Riding Bagheera to school.
2. Walmart Grocery Pickup.  Not going in the store is really a treat.
3. Passing my chem test with a B and passing my CS test with an A.
4. Scheduling my hair/makeup appointment for the wedding.
5. Receiving our first wedding gift (dishes, woot!).
6. A light homework week.
7. Starting Mad Men with Teh German.
8. Eating Marshmallow Fruity Pebbles for dinner.
9. Having survived my first full month of College Round 2.
10. Being able to write simple Java code with minimal frustration.

Happy it-almost-ain't-September-no-mo-Friday, Gentle Readers.

Confessions {12/14}

-No matter how many times the radio/Spotify plays The Weeknd, it doesn't make me like them more.  I hate that certain people dictate what people will or won't like in regards to music.  This could be my resistance to liking Starboy, yet its obnoxiously catchy.  #youdontknowme

-Those chocolate covered Lays potato chips?  They aren't my fave.  Teh German and I agreed there's actually TOO MUCH chocolate on them.  Oh, I'm glad to see you weren't harmed when you just fell out of your chair.  Don't worry, I never thought the day would come when I'd say "too much chocolate" but it did.  #hellhathfrozenover

-After some research I discovered there might still be a chance that Clinton wins this election.  The Electoral College votes on Dec 19th.  I need the world to redeem itself.  I'm hoping that these individuals see what has happened over the last month and realize that we aren't on the path for success.  And by success, I mean moving forward not moving backward.  #pleasepleaseplease #2ndtimesacharm?

-I have been exhausted for the past week.  It's close to "that time of the month" and I wish it would just start already so my energy levels will pick back up again.  Apparently, my body failing at making a baby is exhausting.  #failure #yay

-It brings me joy that when I think about German individuals, I also think about certain things IN German.  For instance, I almost told someone that our German guests were arriving Mittwoch abend (Wednesday night).  #Germglish

-I couldn't help it.  When I saw this in the back of Mr. Golfer's truck, I just had to #takeaselfie.  I'm pretty sure my skin was scaled where the hat sat on my head.

That is my most disgruntled face.
My soul actually died a little.

-I finally remembered to take pictures of the pictures I hung!  Lookie!

When you walked in the front door and look left.
This frame is actually waiting for photos.
I want a good photo of Teh German and I, then Phil and Meri on each side.

When you walk in the front door and look right.
We found the old windows when we were at Home, Home last time.
All the downstairs photos except the large single frame collage are photos from our trip to Germany in June.

Large collage frame in the dining room. 
These are the same photos that have been in there since March 2014, or earlier (Mar 2012).

Across from the large collage frame.
All of these photos were taken at Zollverein mine in Essen.

The view from Schloss Neuschwanstein balcony (aka the Disney castle)

Hello to the Germ-Erica flag!
That still doesn't accurately convey just how large this piece is.

Left: Herreninsel and Fraueninsel, Germany
The middle photo is one of Teh German's favorites that I took.  The top one is one of my faves.
Right: Tübingen, Germany
The top and bottom are other top contenders for our fave photos.
These are in the living room between the patio door and the windows.

Schloss Neuschwanstein from Schloss Hohenschwangau (on a neighboring hill/mountain), by the back door.

I still have plans for a photo collage on the living room wall against the stairs, but it's another one day project.  The frames are already purchased though, so the biggest hindrance is me and photo editing.

-Reading through my Monday post with all its horrible grammar and sentence errors is essentially a look into the workings of my mind and just how scatterbrained I've been over the last few weeks.  I'm not really sure why, but it can stop at any time.  #scatterbrain

-I keep a woo-hoo calendar on my girl time calendar.  I accidentally pressed one wrong button and Google lost it's shit and now the month of November is all jacked up.  I know it doesn't really matter, but it does because principle.  #technologyproblems #firstworldproblems #wedidntbangthatmuch #iwish

-How long does it take you to go through a bottle of lotion?  I don't use lotion every day and I've had the lotion on my desk since.... January... 2013.  It still smells nice (Bath and Body Works, Forever Red, thanks for asking), but I just wonder if it's a Megan problem or do other people have this problem too?  I also have several bottles that I got from one of the annual sales in 2012? 13? That I've never even used.  I think I'm just not good with lotion.. or maybe its skin care.  #itsmellsgood

-Life lesson: Don't ever do a gif search for lotion.  #youwillregretit #dontsayInevertoldyouso

-I would love a dietitian to tell me exactly what to eat and/or prepare healthy food for me and a dermatologist to tell me exactly what skin care routine I should be doing and what products I should be using.  It's hard enough to dress myself without looking like a hobo, but I know if some fashion person came into my life, I'd never get to wear most of my clothes, so I'm not looking for one of those.  Just eating and skin care, please.  #selfcare

-Teh German has had a runny nose since at least Monday (when I noticed) and he's coughing and sniffing.  There's several people at work who have been sniffling.  I threated Teh German with a multivitamin and told him he better mind over body and not get sick before/while we're at Disney.  I also said, "I'm a strong woman, but I can barely handle tolerate it when you are sick.  You being sick at Disney?  Do not want."  #keepyourgermsawayfromme

 

-I would like to have NYE plans this year, but nothing is going on so far.  I saw an ad on FB for Middleton Place (a historic home in the area) and thought it would be cool since it's a NYE party, a NYE recovery brunch the following day, and it includes admission to the house.  EXCEPTTTT that it costs no less than $500 for 1 night.  Looks like we'll be chilin' at home unless someone invites us somewhere.  #byefelicia

-How do you feel about Teh Blog's facelift?  Just a few things, but I thought it was time.  #tellmeyouropinion #thatsnice