Keepin' It Real: On Rejection.

I'm going to talk about some grown up things in this post, like sex and feelings... so you've been warned, particularly if you're one of my parental figures who prefers to believe that I'm a chaste little angel who does no wrong (which is, of course, completely true).

_____________________________________________

I don't like being told no.  Like, really.  I often pout when I'm told no and then I'll eventually get over it because I'm an adult and that's what adults are supposed to do, but that doesn't mean I like it.

But this problem took on another level recently when Teh German turned me down for sexy time.  We'd had a good weekend and there wasn't anything going on and I was like, "Ohhh yeeeeaaahhhh." and Teh German was not on my same page.  In fact, when I started putting my moves on him, he grumble/groaned like, "Ugh, not this again."  I'm pretty sure my reaction was something akin to being slapped.  I was instantly hurt.  I instantly closed up and shut down and avoided eye contact and talking and Teh German in general for the rest of the evening.  I didn't have an appetite at dinner and Teh German asked me what was wrong, like he didn't know..

But ya'll.. I didn't know.  I knew what sparked me having a problem, but I couldn't put my finger on WHY I was upset, besides being told no.  It took me about 24 hours to process.   It wasn't pretty.  I even went to bed without Teh German, which is rare.  I was afraid of the pity fuck if we had went to bed at the same time, which would only serve to enrage me more.

With some time to process, I came to these conclusions.

By being rejected in such a way, the grumble rather than being told, "Maybe later, I'd really just like to relax and have dinner now.", it felt personal.  It was about ME, since there was no reasoning behind the rejection.  And I took it quite personally.

My brain is a myriad of negative thoughts that I regularly squash down.  Mostly things that I put on myself that may or may not be true.  My brain likes to give me "credit" for decisions others make that are completely unrelated to me, like Teh German's lack of desire to "woohoo" with me at that time.  (If you got that "woohoo" reference, I'm glad you're here. #NerdBond)

Some of those things included:
-you're too fat.
-you're too demanding.
-social media is better.
-you're too much.
-you're no good at sexy time.
-you're emasculating.
-(insert any self-deprecating comment here)

And while some of those things could possibly be true to someone, they are not always true of me.  Whether that's a lie or not, I still tell myself that I am none of those things because all those negative thoughts do not need to take up residence in my head.. but damn if they didn't anyways.

Honestly, he never gave me a reason why, but when we talked about it the next evening, after I kinda sorted through my problems, he said, "I have the right to say no."  And I 100% support that.. in theory.  When Teh German asked me at dinner what was wrong, I said something to the effect of, "How would you feel if the situation was reversed?" and he mumbled something that I heard as, "mumble mumble whatever."  I then told him that he wouldn't ever know the answer to that because I don't say no.  Crickets.

Reality: I don't say no because sexy time has become so infrequent, one does not look the gift horse in the mouth.  Yes, I could initiate more and probably make sexy time a little more frequent, but often we are both tired, stressed, and excuses, excuses, excuses....

In case you were unaware, Teh German and I are in a relationship (marriage, dating, the status doesn't matter for this situation).  To both of us, that means being monogamous.  That means intimacy and sex and the deepest kind of relationship with each other, not with outside participants.  This is good for both of us.  It's never been a temptation for me to look outside of our relationship to satisfy my needs.  But, to be brutally honest, I'd rather have sex with my husband instead of taking care of my own (physical) needs solo (aka master-(de)bating).  I can get intimacy and have sex at the same time.  2 birds, 1 stone kind of deal.  I'm in a relationship with a German, we're all about efficiency.

Here's the reality.  We're well past that honeymoon phase of our relationship.  But during our honeymoon phase.. it was hot hot hotttttttt.  I keep a calendar of private events, separate from my personal and school calendars, which is where I track girl time and sexy time and while it's not necessary and it's kind of a chore, I have been able to see the downward trend.  Also, I know that if I didn't track sexy time, I wouldn't track my girl time (period week), so it's a necessary evil.

This decline coincides conveniently with my neediness.  I never realized just how much physical touch I needed until I got older and our relationship matured, we've become more and more busy.. and we just don't make time.  And then it hits me that we touch each other 4-6 times a day: maybe when we get out of bed, definitely before we leave for work, definitely when we get home from work, probably before we eat dinner, definitely right before bed.  But it's usually just a quick kiss other than when we leave for work, when we hug (if I'm not in the shower).

I started to pick up on a few things going on...

We were/are taking our relationship for granted.  There is/was no intention in our affection, just the habit/ritual of it.  What this means to me is that there was no effort being put into our relationship.  It's easy to go through the motions and put a check in the box.  It's more effort to put intention into your actions to ensure that you do things for a purpose.  I.e. you kiss your significant other before you leave for work to ensure that the last time they saw you, you wanted them to know you love them in case you're in a horrific car accident 3 miles into your drive and die.  Is that extreme?  Yes, but does it help me live with intention?  Fuck yes.

I always take being turned down (regarding sexy time) as a bad sign.  ALWAYS.  The less affection I want to show, the less I'm invested in the relationship, and I assume that is the same for the other party.  For me, choosing anything else over intimacy with your partner shows that other things are valued over the relationship/intimacy with your partner, which means your partner is not the most important thing to you, which just spirals out of control quickly.. especially if you are me.  I've been less important than a computer game, I've been less important than easy access porn and nudes from ex's.  So this is something I've become experienced in, so me escalating the issue quickly in my marriage shouldn't come as a big surprise.

But I need to understand that THIS relationship is not all my past relationships that didn't work.  I need to move on from issues that have plagued me for a very long time because they really hurt me and created scars that always remind me of the worst things.

I place a lot of weight on sexy time, when really I should place more value on intimacy.  Honestly, I wasn't really looking for sex, I was looking for intimacy.  We had had a great weekend and I just wanted to be close to Teh German.  We could have just laid on the bed and snuggled and chatted and I would have been ok, but that's not how I approached the situation.  I know that this is a personal problem, to confuse sex and intimacy, and it's something I need to work on, but I also need Teh German to be aware of my issues as I work through them.

When we talked about this the following evening, I explained that I need more affection from him and more intimacy with him.  That more affection and intimacy would mean that I wouldn't have been as hurt by his rejection because I would know that the well isn't dry, it's just not available right now, but maybe later?  I explained that we went from a lot of sex to barely any sex and well.... this doesn't work well for me.

Science tells us that as humans age, women's sex drive goes up, while men's decreases.  But Society tells me/us that men are complete sex maniacs who would never turn down sex and here's 25 ways to spice up your sex life!  Worse yet, the "spice up your sex life articles" are generally aimed towards women, so when those "suggestions" don't work out, women feel at fault.  But that's all a big lie and I know it, but sometimes I don't KNOW it.



So this is my real talk.
This is me, admitting my faults and showing my struggles.
This is me, recognizing that I have some work to do.
This is me, over-sharing something that is extremely private.
This is me, being transparent and showing the world that despite the happy words and fun pictures, strife still exists in my life.
This is me, sharing my ugly.

Welcome to the show, Gentle Readers.

Weekend/Vacation Review {9/16-22}

I misjudged my free time on my "vacation" and didn't actually get to sit down and write blogs like I had planned.  Real life has really been taking over lately* and well.. #sorrynotsorry

WEDNESDAY

After Teh German left for work, I packed up Yurtle, loaded up Phil and Meri, and we were MD bound!  The dog park at Roanoke Rapids, NC (exit 173) is really my new favorite thing for east coast road trips.  I'm not sure who's good idea that was, but I'd kiss both of their cheeks for it.  Meri doesn't like doing her business on a leash, so it's right around halfway and perfect.  I tried not to stress about travel time and wasn't in a rush when I stopped.  I made it about 8-8.5 hours after I left Charleston, so right on time.  

Teh MD Adult Roomie and I hung out and made dinner, then we went out and got our nails done (which was an experience because the lady and I had several clashes (wtf why is so hard to pain the ENTIRE nail? don't leave huge lines on the side because my nail is wider than the brush.  NO.  Just no.) and I'm pretty sure she called me nasty things in whatever language she was speaking, then she left my tip on her table, which I know she saw because she had to give me change for a $100 so I could even leave her a tip #bitchplease) and did some shopping at Ross (ALL THE STRIPED DRESSES!!!!).  Then we came home and chatted and played with puppies.  Later, I skyped with Teh German until it was bedtime.

THURSDAY

After some snuggles with Olive and Meri and Zoey, I finally got up and went on my last run before the 1/2.  It was a glorious MD run.  I forgot how much I enjoyed the scenery on my Pax runs.

After 4.5 glorious miles with minor pains, I headed back to Teh MD AR's house to shower and get ready for a lunch date at Noodles and Company, which I think I've decided isn't my favorite.  That and the lady didn't clarify about small or large portions, so I didn't eat 1/2 of what I was given.  After lunch, I returned the reject dresses for Teh MD-AR and I to Ross, picked up some stuff at Target (to include some awesome adhesive mustaches that Meri subsequently ate because #goatdog and some $5 men's pj pants in case it was chilly the morning of the race), and hit up Old Navy since it has been a long time since I've been in there and Teh MD-AR showed me a super cute dress she had gotten from there and I needed super cute dresses (ok, really I don't need more dresses, but not the point, kthx).  I ended up with 2 dresses, 1 pair of jeans, and the desire to buy another dress and another pair of jeans but they didn't have my size and apparently Old Navy isn't like Victoria's Secret who will order stuff on their website for you and have it shipped to your house (for free, #yesplease).  Your loss Old Navy, your loss.  

I finally headed back home and took a nap.  It was an obligation of being on vacation that I was happy to fulfill.  The dogs napped with me but Meri was particularly adorable.

Teh MD-AR and I had dinner with Teh Soccer Mom at Red Robin (nommm).  After overstaying our welcome (#notsorry), we finally decided to head out.  Teh MD-AR and I headed to Target to check out the Halloween section (no foam heads, wtf?) and look for fall table linens (yeah, we all know that wasn't something I was looking for).  After we headed home and discovered that Meri had eaten the mustaches (she was the only one without a muzzle on, so I know she's guilty), I skyped again with Teh German and attempted (and failed) at going to bed early since Friday was an early start.

FRIDAY

A 0500 wake up was a bit earlier than my 0529 estimated awake time, but it was fine, even if I was grumbly at being awake so early.  Teh MD-AR and I made the annual trip to Richmond to get doggy teeth cleaned.  Everyone except for Meri went, which we learned probably wasn't a good thing since she was trying to #goatdog the crate.  Phil lost 2 teeth and I had to commit to brushing them more since he's got some serious gum recession on his back molars.  One tooth that was pulled was because it was broken and there was root exposure, so that wasn't on me.  Woot.  My poor boy was sooo stoned when we picked them up.

While we were waiting on the dogs, we went to breakfast and I got to wear my first jacket of the season (yay cold!).  After breakfast we decided to head to World Market, which wasn't open yet (that's what happens when you get up at the crack of dawn), so we wandered around Kohl's for a bit where I almost bought an awesome unicorn towel, but decided to save my $5.  The only reason we really even went into Kohl's was because there were Color Run flags outside the building for packet pick up.  If the run had been on Saturday instead of Sunday, I probably would have ran it.  I'm ridiuclous, I know... but I really, reallllllyyyy NEED that medal.  NEED.  Not want.  NEED.  The lady at the merchandise table tried to sell us tickets and I had to regretfully tell her I was running a 1/2 on Sunday instead.  I mean, in what world would I have ever said that before 2014?  None, ever.  #runnerproblems

Then we went to World Market where I picked up some gnocchi and adult root beers for the Megan-Gathering that evening.  After World Market, we decided to head to Barnes and Noble since I hadn't been in one for years.  We wandered around discussing books that were good (or not) and some creeper-mcgee-man was telling Teh MD-AR all about Star Wars bobble heads (he was wayyy too old to be as concerned as he was about Star Wars figurines) and I tried to give her an out by not being close by (she could have came and found me at anytime), but she endured creeper man until he finally wandered away.  She's a better person than me because I would have RBF-ed (resting bitch faced) him until he stopped talking and went away.

The vet still hadn't called after we were done at B&N so I looked for a park nearby since it was a nice day so we could sit outside and read (I came equipped with a Kindle and 2 hard copy books).  There happened to be one right across the street from the shopping center, which was convenient.  We waited there until the vet called around 1245.  On the way back to the vet, we stopped at a Vitamin Shoppe for me to pick up something similar to the O2 Gold that I had tried on my 11.7 mile run (fail) and then at Panera for lunch so I wouldn't get hangry.  Then we picked up the stoned dogs and headed back to Pax to make a snack for the Cards Against Humanity/Megan gathering.

After getting home, we discovered that Meri may or may not have some serious separation anxiety, completely based off the partially eaten wood inside Olive's crate...  It was the crate or a muzzle, which she likes even less, soooo yeah.  After we created a snack to share at the gathering, we headed over to Mr. Kilt and Teh Monopoly's house for socializing, snacks, and Cards Against Humanity.

We stayed until about 9pm, at which point we headed home to check on the dogs.  We had left the pups after feeding them dinner, which Zoe had been a bloody mess after.  Fortunately, other than some bloody drool spots, everyone was fine.  It was bedtime after we made sure all the dogs were ok.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning, the real activity started.  I tried to sleep in, but the dogs weren't having it.  I got up and got ready and Teh MD-AR and I left around the same time.  I headed to Teh Dive Buddy's house first off.  I arrived around 1230 and we walked and grabbed lunch.  One thing I love about DC is the walkability of everywhere.  We then headed to the Metro to head to the Armory to pick up my packet.... which is when the adventure started.  Apparently there were train issues, so our train was taking forever to come and when they announced around 2:15 that it would be more than 20 minutes until the train arrived, Teh Dive Buddy and I made the choice to literally run back to his place to get Yurtle and then drive to the Armory.  On my calendar, I had that the expo closed at 3 and I've since discovered that wasn't true.  Way to plan, Megan.  Gold star.  So we ran/walked back to his place, part of my run I was barefoot and had we been downtown, I probably would have been trotting through homeless pee puddles.  Yeah, one of my least good ideas before a 1/2 marathon?  Running barefoot through DC.  Although the alternative was running in flippy-floppies, which would have probably resulted in something worse, so ya know, pick your battles.

We made it to the Armory at 2:48 and I had even taken an exit that I wasn't supposed to, oops.  Either way, while I ran in to get my packet, Teh Dive Buddy drove Yurtle around.  The expo was complete crap, there were less than 10 vendors, 2-3 of them were athletic vendors, so I was able to pick up some gels and gummies for the race.  It was also super hot inside.  No bueno.  After picking up my packet, we headed to the hotel where Ms. Motivator and I were staying so I could park Yurtle, we could meet Ms. Motivator and friends, and then head to the Nationals game.

Teh Dive Buddy and I left the game early so we could go get dinner (and avoid the crowds).   We were gonna get mexican, but the place I had found was going to be closing before we would have arrived because of Metro delays.  Seriously, no bueno Metro.  Instead, we ended up at Johnny Rockets which was close to my hotel, which was perfect because I had been slightly concerned about walking by myself back to the hotel.  #alwayshaveabuddy

PB chocolate milkshake? Yes please, need.

After we finished dinner, Teh Dive Buddy and I parted ways.  We hadn't seen each other since I left GTMO in 2011, so it was awesome getting to catch up with him, and as always, we definitely had an adventure of a day.

When I got back to the hotel, Ms. Motivator and I chatted for a bit and got ready for bed.  We also Skyped with Teh German for a short bit.  I have this problem in life where I tell people things, but I can never remember who I tell what to.  I didn't realize that I hadn't told Ms. Motivator about the struggles that I'd been having with Mr. Scrooge.  She knew some of the issues, but not the whole timeline, so I caught her up.  Also, having talked to Teh German with me on Skype, she approved.  Finally, it was sleepy time after sending Teh German some sappy texts right before I fell asleep.

SUNDAY

Race day was finally upon me!  An earlier than expected wake-up was the start to the day.  I eventually got up and got ready, sweet texts from Teh German definitely helped (he actually set an alarm so he could wake up, text me before my race, then went back to sleep (#keeper)).  We were about a mile from the start, so we walked there.

This is what the Washington Monument looks like at 0600.
Gorgeous, right?!

I'm not gonna recap my race here, but the official results were 13.1(ish) miles in 2:10:35.  RunKeeper measured 13.5 miles in 2:11:33.  This is the first race I ever wanted to cry at the end because I was so glad it was over.  This was definitely not as delightful as the 11.7 miles the weekend before. 

If you follow Teh Blog on FB, you may have seen where I posted about the guy who was running on prosthetic blades.  I have no right to complain, but Gentle Readers, it was a very difficult run for me and not because anything about the course or the weather... but all me.  Running from the Metro barefoot the day before, driving 8 hours, not seeing the chiropractor the week before, being tired, being stressed, being disappointed I didn't finish under 2 hours.  It wasn't pretty.  But I got the medal and I ran 13.1ish miles without stopping... And that stupid book (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) still wasn't finished after 2 hours of running!  Uuughhh. 

Also, KT tape.. OMG.  At one point Ms. Motivator asked me if I was going to keep telling them how awesome it was, I told her yes because it was a miracle!  Thanks Alyssa for the guidance/peer pressure!

Teh MD-AR roomie ran the 5 miler and Ms. Motivator ran the 1/2.  Of course, selfies were mandatory.  After the race, we caught our breath and then headed back to the hotel to shower.   It was decided we go to Chili's for lunch, and that was the point that I realized I'd become a Charlestonian food snob.  I agreed because I was too tired to come up with a better suggestion, but nothing about chain restaurants appeal to me after being in Charleston.  I'm always willing to look up a recommendation on Yelp (even if it means getting almost there and realizing they are going to close before we arrive like what happened with Teh Dive Buddy on Saturday) before going to a chain restaurant.  #Charlestonproblems  I ended up parking at the opposite end of the parking garage than the restaurant was at, which meant more hobbling and having to find Yurtle.  I was so whiny and achy when I left DC that I knew a nap was unavoidable after I got home.

I actually ended up following/caravan-ing with Ms. Motivator's friends on the way back from DC since I happened to catch up to them and we were going about the same speed after that.  When I got home, I went straight upstairs and crashed.  My head was achy, my pieces were achy, I wanted very bad to be snuggled.  Eventually, I woke up and made my way downstairs (ouccchh) and hung out with Teh MD-AR and the puppy dogs.

Teh MD-AR made steaks and baked potatoes for dinner, which was perfect after my mostly unsatisfactory burrito from Chili's.  I tried to do some internetting, but it didn't really happen.  Is this what it feels like when blogging is slipping from your fingertips?  I finished off the evening with a Skype date with Teh German and then it was bedtime.

MONDAY

The dogs were insistent on no one sleeping in, so I got up and fed them and tried to do more internetting while hanging out with Teh Afternoon Kid.  Despite telling myself only 15 minutes, an hour later, I was shutting down the computer and getting ready to drive back to CHS.  After Teh MD-AR left for work, my motivation finally took hold.  I showered and packed up and loaded Yurtle and by 0900, I was on the road with the pups. 

We stopped halfway at the dog park (no but really, best idea/exit ever) and I picked up lunch and got some juice for Yurtle and also picked up a snack at Starbuckos for the pups and I.  I had a peppermint mocha frappichino while they enjoyed puppycinos.

We made it home by 5:15, which isn't so bad considering I stopped at Wendy's for lunch, then to the dog park for the dogs, then stopped for gas, and stopped at Starbucks before getting back on the interstate.  Despite his intentions, Teh German wasn't there when we got home, but I did come home to this:

No one has ever left flowers for me to find or rose pedal hearts ever.
#keeper

When he finally got home from work, we hung out and I got all the snuggles.  We ended up going to Early Bird Diner for dinner since they were open later than the sushi place and it was 9pm before we left for dinner.  Side note: my eating schedule has been shot to hell and it's difficult for me to know who I am right now without my eating schedule.

Overall, it was an excellent trip to MD.  Getting to see everyone was fantastic and I wished I could have had longer to hang out and relax some.  It felt like I breezed in and breezed out.  But, I accomplished another 1/2 Marathon and I've only got 4 pegs left on my medal rack!

*Hopefully being home again means that my blogging schedule will resume to normal standards, but I kinda doubt it for the following reasons:

• My/our weekends are activity packed for the foreseeable future
• I'll be continuing my running schedule to stay ready for my 1/2 in November.
• Trying out Crossfit, which means even less evening free time
• My activity preference is hanging out/doing things/snuggling with Teh German over being on my computer in my free time.
• I finally hooked up Teh Sister's Netflix on my Roku and we started House of Cards and I suck at multitasking when the TV is on (and I'd rather snuggle).
• Work is picking up for me which means less blogging time.  In fact, I'm putting off work right now to finally get this post up!  I even missed out on Confessions for the 2nd time in a month.  WHO AM I!?!?

If you made it through all of this, you deserve a cookie.  I'd suggest halloween oreos personally, but I'm completely biased.

Five on Friday #65

UNO

Part of me is excited about my upcoming vacation to MD/DC.  Another part of me is dreading it.

Excited: Seeing all the people (and doggies)!  Cards Against Humanity gathering.  Navy-Air Force 1/2 Marathon.  DC.  No work.  Possibility of getting to wear a sweatshirt!!!

Dread: Missing Teh German. 13.1 miles.  8 hour drivex2.  The possibility of Meri pooping in my car (which is always a fear although now I know where a dog park is about halfway).  Packing.  Having to leave Teh MD Adult Roomie.

Excitement wins out, of course!

DOS

It took me 3 days, but I finally finished powering through my Feedly.  You're welcome for all that comment spam.  Thanks for keeping me entertained at work the past week, Gentle Readers who I follow.

I've started to realize that it's probably time for another clean up of my Feedly.  Intermittent bloggers, those who never respond to comments (which only bothers me because I take the time to comment), bloggers who I don't really care to read about anymore (hey tastes change, whatevs).

TRES

I really should watch more Jimmy Fallon.  That show is hilarious.
Additionally, I should just watch more video clips when I see them.  Like John Stewart's cameo on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, or the Celebrities Read Mean Tweets videos.
Teh Sister also says I need to watch Friends (so I can fold origami for her) but I also want to watch The Americans, House of Cards, Silicon Valley, Grey's Anatomy (ugh why can't I quit you, Grey's?  Whhhhhyyyy).. and so, soooo many movies.
#thisiswhyImoutoftouchwiththerealworld

QUATRO

I watched the video below with Teh German last night as we were laying in bed.  It's just like Barney's Hot/Crazy scale, but a little more fleshed out and it had me cracking up.

During the video Teh German told me I was a "unicorn."  /swoon

All I keep thinking is that my brain is the grandma from Mulan:

CINCO

I think this linkup by Lindsay will totally help me power through 5 things on Friday...  I always struggle with finding 5 things and then feel so lazy when I BS.

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. Good runs on Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday evenings... with NO chafing!
2. A long weekend/short work week.
3. Discussing difficult things with Teh German.
4. Kisses at red lights (again).
5. Motorcycle rides.
6. Trips that go smoothly, especially when they include meeting the parents.
7. Getting adjusted at the chiropractor
8. Laughs and snuggles at bedtime.
9. Meri pretending to be a cat.
10. Phil groaning when I rub his ears.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Linking up with these ladies since it's FFFFRRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!

http://meetatthebarre.blogspot.ca/ | http://farmerbell.blogspot.com | http://theflynnigans.com/

Five on Friday #64

UNO

We'll be on our way to Home, Home this evening with Mike and Suzi!!  I guilted Teh Sister into coming to Charleston to watch Phil and Meri by reminding her about how much time I'll be spending with my neph-dawgs while she's away on her honeymoon in Iceland.  #bigsistering #likeaboss

Teh Sister actually came to town 24 hours earlier than anticipated, which meant she got to meet Teh German last night.  She hasn't threatened to run him over with and motorized vehicles, so all is well.

I'm REALLY hoping the rain restrains itself this weekend in western NC.  That will totally be a buzz kill after we've done so much prep work to take the bikes up there to ride.  Nonetheless, it will be a long weekend away without the fur-kids with Teh German, so really if we don't get to ride it will still be a good weekend based on those 3 things.

DOS

I'm soooooo pumped about finally getting a decent haircut!!!  I wish I could use words to describe the excitement and relief I'm experiencing about seeing Paula, my Home, Home hairdresser.  She really is the best and I've had several shitty hair cuts over the past 6 months and no one does it as good as Paula does.

Each morning for the last week I've looked in the mirror and told myself just how badly I need a haircut.  I feel like a shaggy dog.. aka like Meri when all her fur is in her eyes.

TRES

One of my coworkers has been bringing her dog, Finn, into work this week.  I told her that I'd bring Meri so Finn and Meri could play all the day long and wear each other out.  Today is the day!  I've taken over a conference room for the entire day to supervise the doggy daycare.

Me and Finn earlier this week.

Meri came straight in and went to the dog bed and hasn't wandered unless I'm moving and then she's stayed by my side.
I love my fuzzy girl.

Supervising these cutie-patooties was so exciting I completely missed one of my meetings this morning.  No one said anything to me, so they obviously understand I was part of the puppy-invasion of the day.  Have I mentioned lately how much I lurve Company?  Dogs can come to work, no strict dress code, the enabling of alcohol in the workplace, the ability to work from home?  Yesplskthx.

QUATRO

On the internet this week:

-Let me tell you how many fucks I give about Google's new logo...

-I have no idea what is going on in Syria (because I'm a horrible human being) but WORDS MATTER and I've seen a lot of FB posts about migrants/refugee/humans.  #everyonehasasoapbox

-So much new musics this week!  Yesssssssss.  #thanksSpotify

-Greyhound racing is on the decline.  It's actually been in decline for several decades now and I kinda see a problem with it.  Greyhounds are MADE for racing/hunting.  They don't really hunt here in the US because they would run away and never come back, so racing it is.  I believe that as long as the dogs are treated humanely, racing isn't a bad thing.  I also believe that there are people who really love greyhound racing enough that even if greyhound racing tracks die out, there will still be greyhound racers.  The problem with this is that the tracks are regulated.  Individuals won't be and we all know how absolutely horrible humans are.  If you need an example, check out the plight of the galgo in Spain.

-Nothing about a child being covered in PB makes me want to watch the video. 

-I can't remember who posted the link to THIS video, but it made me want to explore more and I learned that "The And" is an entire project about human interaction and "what connects us."  All the feels in that first video made me want to cry, or the fact that I cry when other people cry.

CINCO

Sappy things because well I'm completely in full-on-sap/cheese mode.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Linking up with these ladies since it's FFFFRRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!

http://meetatthebarre.blogspot.ca/ | http://farmerbell.blogspot.com

Five for Friday #62

UNO

*Sappy alert!*

Teh German has stayed at my house every night since Tuesday and each day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed and get to work on time.  I've never been more excited that it's Friday because tomorrow means sleeping in and not having to get up for work.  If we didn't have an AM run planned, I'm not sure if we would get out of bed other than for food.

Fortunately for him, his work is a short drive away from my house.  Unfortunately for me, a lack of desire to get out of bed, coupled with his short commute means I've been arrive to work later than my standard 0645-0730. 

This morning it was totally worth it.  We left the house and I was behind him at the last redlight before the interstate.  I was just listening to the radio when I saw him get out of his car and come up to Yurtle so I rolled down the window to see what was up.  Nothing.  He just needed to kiss me.  #YESPLEASEMOAR  But seriously, I swooned.  I couldn't stop smiling.  I don't want to stop smiling.  Work days have never seemed so long. 

I feel like a teenager again and it makes me giggle and feel silly and happy and want to doodle little hearts all over everything.  I admitted that with the way things were going, I was going to get spoiled very quickly and he was in grave danger of me falling for him, so he was proceeding at his own risk now that I had warned him.  He told me that was exactly what he was hoping for.  No but really, could he be sweeter? 

Teh German makes all the bad places my mind likes to go completely silent.  It's a welcome relief from my brain that likes to bring up things like Mr. Scrooge at inopportune times.  When I was with Ginger Beard, many Mr. Scrooge things would haunt me and it was very unsettling.  Teh German doesn't leave room in my mind for anyone else, just him.  Also, he's working his way into my heart very quickly. 

A very minor part of me is worried the bottom will fall out because everything is going so well, but I'm trying to ignore that because I just want to be happy without worrying for once.  For now, I'm getting kissed at red lights by a handsome man from the car in front of me and it's bringing me great joy. 

PS.  The dudes in the car behind me approved of what happened and I grinned like an idiot the entire way to work and throughout most of the day.  I can't imagine a better way to start Friday.

DOS

Many big things are coming and I'm super pumped!!!

-Labor day weekend (which might include a motorcycle adventure to NC, we shall see)
-Navy-AF 1/2 marathon and MD in Sept
-NC Renn Faire
-FALL!!!

TRES

I really should be a better maid of honor and get on my paper folding for the toss bouquet and pick a dress and whatever else Teh Sister tasks me with.  Uggghhh.. it shouldn't be so hard.  That said, Teh Sister (re)informed me of her wedding date that I had forgotten (she's changed it a few times, so I get a pass on this!), which gives me an extra 2 weeks.  So THAT'S a win.  Now if I would just take advantage of all this time.  Bhahahahah, sorry Teh Sister that I'm such a shitty MOH.

QUATRO

Yesterday I discovered Relevant's The Drop section on their website and I found so many new artists!!!  That said, having to buy albums on iTunes since they aren't on Spotify crushes my soul.  Who even uses iTunes?  Ughhhh.  That said, Us & Our Daughters is possibly one of my new forever faves.

Also, how do I find out about awesome music festivals?  After seeing someone post about a music festival in SF where Mumford & Sons were and then checking their website, it wasn't listed on their tour schedule.  I CAN'T PROPERLY STALK YOU IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOUR INFORMATION AVAILABLE, DAMMIT!!!  I just want to give you my dollars so you'll croon at me!!!  Gosh!

I'd probably kill to see M&S in concert.  Seriously.  Ok, maybe not seriously, but I'd pay a lot of money.  Maybe as much as running Disney.  That kind of serious.  At least the first time.

CINCO

Crossfit has earned a new appreciation from me.  Mmmm.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Linking up with these ladies since it's FFFFRRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!

http://meetatthebarre.blogspot.ca/ | http://farmerbell.blogspot.com

Five on Friday #55

UNO

You wanna know what is difficult?  Moving mattresses.  WTF.  Why is that shit so hard?  Yesterday, I moved TWO.  I moved my bed to the guest room and Mr. Scrooge's bed to the master.  By bed, I don't just mean the mattress, I mean the entire bed and frame.  Which wouldn't be that big of a deal if I'd have had help or if my bed headboard/footboard didn't weigh a mabillionty pounds.

Mr. Scrooge came home and his comment was, "You've been busy.  Did you do this by yourself?"
My response was, "I'm just as surprised as you are, but yes I did."

Soreness is imminent.

(Source)

DOS

I wasn't going to run this morning.  I wasn't really feeling it after some shitty sleeps and soreness from numero uno.  Then, within 5 minutes of hearing Mr. Scrooge leave for work, I realized that I had forgotten to drop Yurtle off at the doctor for her 60,000 mile maintenance.  FML.  The dealership really isn't that far from the house, so with a quick Gmaps check, I validated that it was only 3 miles.  I could just run home.

So I did.

And it was horrible.  Absolutely fucking HORRIBLE.



1.  The sidewalk on the road where the dealership is, is on the side with all the businesses and streets.  This is very stressful.  Not just because I was running in mostly the dark and was afraid of getting hit by a car, but also because that means that the sidewalk isn't level since there are dips for the driveways/roads.
2.  There are no crosswalks at the major intersections, despite having a sidewalk on that side of the street.. WHAT????  Yeah running across an 8 lane intersection in mostly the dark at 0530 is one of the more scary experiences of my entire life.  Times that by TWO.
3.  To get home, I had to cross the train tracks... and OF COURSE the train would be passing through right as I approach the tracks.  Granted, this isn't Nemesis Train 1, but I wasn't pleased at the time hit I was taking.
4.  I had the worst pain in my calves.  Maybe shin splits?  Maybe just the speed I was going.  Idk what it was, but I had to walk quite a bit this morning so my time was completely and utter shit.
5.  Someone walking almost walked into me (because they were staring at their phone screen, OF FREAKIN COURSE, and walking in the middle of the sidewalk) and I didn't even apologize for scaring the bejesus out of them when I finally said, "Excuse me!" when I was almost running into them.  I mean, I had stepped on a stick, drug my feet, and cleared my throat to signal that I was approaching.  WTF people, less screens more awareness of your surroundings!!!

TRES

Getting Meri shaved is like getting a new dog every 6 months.  I love it when she's shaved.  Soooooo much.  She looks less... homeless.. or less like an ASPCA dog per Teh MD Teenage Roomie.

QUATRO

Obama is in Charleston today for funerals and I'm torn between sadness and being annoyed about all the traffic issues that will no doubt occur.

More in things IDGAF about:
-Anything Jenner related
-Anything Palin related
-Most thing about the Confederate Flag
-how many calories are in my coffee creamer
-many other things

CINCO

Randoms:

Lurve StoryPeople

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Linking up with these ladies since it's FFFFRRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!

http://meetatthebarre.blogspot.ca/ | http://farmerbell.blogspot.com