Five on Friday #152

EINS - Random Shit

-Fucking Blogger.  I thought that I was getting my comments emails.  Turns out I am not.  Sorry if you think I am ignoring you.  I am not, Blogger has failed us all. I'm trying to migrate to Disqus, which is fine except I cannot manage to import my old comments, which means I can't see comments from the past 2 weeks to even respond to them manually.  #ThisIsMyLife

-I will be streaming the FIFA games at work and #Iaintsorry.  No one ever uses the televisions in the spaces, so I figured, why not.  My coworkers said soccer was super boring but these are the same people who love football and, well.. I do not like football.
Coworker: boooo.. soccer is boring AF. They run around for 90 minutes and flounce around acting dramatic when they get tripped, in hopes of eventually scoring.
Me: I'd rather watch men run around a field for 90 minutes than spend an hour of my life watching gangs of men repeatedly tackle each other.

See also, America's solution to problems vs the rest of the world.
America: TACKLE THEM, VIOLENCE.
Rest of the world: Trip em and run!

-I have an ID card called a CAC that I have to use for work.  Well, my CAC was fucked up and it took me 2 days and hours of my life to get it "fixed" and it still doesn't work.  In the process of fixing it, I told on myself for not using my Company laptop for work and got a talking to about it from IT.  So now, I have to deal with a broke CAC AND start using my Company laptop.. so it's like going back to the stone age.  #MeganProblems

-When you give someone a phone number as fast as humanly possible and then act like it's my fault I didn't get catch it all and then act like I'm bothering you when I ask you to repeat that, you're an asshole.

-If you're on a military base and describe a building as, "the one with the flagpole outside", I want to punch you.

-DoD websites that do not serve the function they were created for are pointless and a waste of taxpayer's money.  #JustSayin

-I've been taking Teh PT Kid to/from his Citadel summer camp this week.  I've learned a lot.  Mostly that he has 2 settings.
1. AWAKE OMG BEY BLADES TRAINS HUNGER.
2. Silence (because he's sleeping).

-Doing nice things for people brings me joy.  Especially when they tell you how much the action brightened their day.

-I went running this week.  I should really do that more than once a month.

-My Chase miles card gives me double points on travel and dining.  I thought it was just travel.  This makes my card even better than I thought.  I've already paid for my flights to Tulsa and Chicago for runs with my points I've already earned (and the bonus points at the start) and I started using this card in January.  #LikeABoss
PS.  Each month the card gets completely paid off.  This is the only way I would ever recommend anyone use a credit card.

-There's a 2000 piece Disney puzzling still laid out on my dining room table and I've cleared off the buffet so I can also lay out the rest of the pieces.  I'm also considering setting up the beer pong table so I can put the edge on it and then work on inside chunks on the dining room table.  I'd really love some assistance on it, but I think it's scary to everyone that sees it and I think my biggest problem with doing it is that I don't have anywhere to actually WORK on it with all the pieces laid out.

TL;DR: This puzzle is taking over my dining room and I need help completing it.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Bull dicks for the dogs.
-New BCD weight pocket to replace the one I lost in Feb.
-Replacement retractable clip for my dive computer that broke while on Honeymoon.
-Hook for my cube to hang my backpack
-New hooks for my bras in the closet so they all match.
-water filters for the coffee maker
-Groceries when we got back, times a mabillionty.
-Soooo many picture frames.  #NoRegrets
-My new awesome laundry sign which makes me smile every time I see it.
-McDonald's sweet tea
-White chocolate pretzels and the ingredients to make my own white chocolate pretzels.
-Incredibles II tickets
-Belk's - clothes and house things.
-Brunch x2
-Massage
-City of Oaks 1/2 Marathon
-Raleigh AirBnB (right by the start line for the City of Oaks, #LikeABoss)
-Teh Running Bestie's flowers
-Food Lion gift certificate for a family in need
-Billz
-$$ for Teh German to participate in the FIFA work pool.
-New passport wallet to hold up to 3 passports (it came with a face mask!)
-Gas

DREI - From My Phone Shit

These rednecks had made their own sunroof.
We assume the glass was busted and rather than replace it, they embraced it....
Mmmkay.  When SC decides to start doing vehicle inspections, I won't be sad.

Paximoose rarely sits like this, so I always love it.
Here he is playing with his new ice cream that Teh PT Wife picked out for him.

I set up our photos to be the AppleTV screensaver.
Sadly, it only caches ~100 photos, but it's better than none.  I just have to finish editing and then select the best to put in the folder.

Every day I'm brusslin'.
This towel, from Teh Running Bestie, brings me constant joy.

They grow up so quickly!  😭

I took Teh PT Kid with me while I voted on Tuesday.
I may not always be the best example for him, but sometimes, I get it right!

Self created joke:
"Your wait time is ___ minutes."
-any government help desk
Because it's NEVER less or equal to the amount of minutes they estimate.

Anyone else use the cool blast on their hair dryer to dry off the body sweat?
Just me?  Oh ok.  That's fine.

Burgers for dinner = runny egg and avocado.

When you need a straw and DGAF if the lid matches the bottle.
Teh Running Bestie donated this lid to my cause and I've obviously been saving it for this day.

Streaming FIFA on the TV from my desk.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

I assume that most people generally pass up this section because you're busy and you have shit to do and you already read through my millionty page long blog post, but PLEASE PLEASE PLLLLEEEAAASSEEE click this link and read it and tell me your thoughts.

This article is about Emotional Labor, a term I learned while listening to my most recent audiobook, and it has changed my life.  It put a name to something that I didn't have a name for and giving something a name helps identify it so you can work on the issue.

I'm not getting anything out of you clicking that other than satisfaction about spreading the word.  That article sums up soooo many of my frustrations in life and explains why Teh Running Bestie and I worked so well as roommates.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Being back to our routine.
2. Running
3. Going around someone to get shit done when they say they "can't" but mean "won't"
4. Helping people
5. Meri and Pax being extra snuggly, even if Pax is being more talkative than usual.
6. Breakstone cottage cheese and fruit
7. Friday brownies
8. Work sponsored pizza for lunch
9. Tap to pay working at some places in America
10. The power of Sudafed to make Teh German's nose stop running so he can feel better and not be whiny about feeling bad.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

On Babies and Procreating.

I have a struggle.  It's about babies.  It's about not wanting them or wanting them.  It's about people's judgement and comments.

This is not a new struggle for me.
But what had happened was...

When I was sitting with the tax dude while he was doing our taxes, he said something about having 2 kids and I said, "I have 2 fur kids, it's a shame I can't get a tax credit for them."  He said, "So no human kids... yet."

Queue some Megan rage.

Just because my body contains the tools to reproduce doesn't mean I am obligated to use them.

That's the thing about humans, we can make choices about our bodies (ya know, for the most part, barring any government regulation, which is a can of worms we're not getting into right now).

Obviously, this is not the first time I've heard this comment, nor will it be the last.  "Yet," it really, really irks me... because at the end of the day, my reproductive business is no one else's business.  That's just how that works.

And then.. a few days later, a coworker brought her month-old infant to a work party so we could all meet him.  He was adorable.  I wanted to hold him, NBD, but I wasn't going to push everyone out of the way to be like, MY TURN BITCHES.  And after the other interested parties held him, he was passed on to me.. and never taken away.  He was cute and he wasn't crying and he was like a little lump.

And then what had happened was:
1- I waffled between being tired of holding him and wanting to put him in his carrier and just wanting to hold this cute, not crying infant because he was adorable and I hadn't gotten to meet him before and it's a baby, there's nothing shameful in holding a baby.
2- I felt (mysteriously) obligated to hold him.  Like, if I put him down my coworkers would think me heartless.  But I knew that by continuing to hold him, my coworkers were all thinking, "I know who is next! Tehehe."
3- I would move the baby around and everyone would hold their breath or comment that I was going to drop him.  Cue Megan rage.  Several times I had to say to someone who made a comment, "Is he crying?  Is he still alive?  Yes, and yes.. So he's fine and I'm fine and we're fine.  Thanks."

And then, Mom and Dad were ready to leave and I handed the baby back and guess what.. my uterus didn't explode from wanting.  I continued on about my day like I do.  Holding that infant didn't change my mind about my reproductive choices.  In fact, it kind of cemented my feelings even more.

There's even photographic evidence!

Maybe my reproductive choices are the problem.  And by THE problem, I mean MY problem.  Because I don't really want kids, but I'd be willing to use my tools maybe.  Teh German and I have discussed it several times and right now, we've both agreed that we do not want kids at this time.  I think what really gave Teh German pause was when I asked him why he wanted kids.  Because society/his family said so?  I'm not interested in that reasoning.... and here's why...

I told Teh German that if he really wanted to have kids, we would do it.  But it would be after I finished school.  Because I MATTER.  My priorities matter and, let's just be real for a minute, my body and time will be the most effected for the immediate time.  I also had to explain to him that all the fun stuff we do now (which he really enjoys) would definitely taper off.  Not because we're not awesome anymore, but because our priorities will have to be reevaluated to meet the demands of a tiny human.  The reality is, I'm not going to be the only one "sacrificing" because of a spawn.

Coincidentally, while I was typing this up waiting on my math class to start, a cadet was asking our professor about his day as "Mr. Mom."  I happily interjected and said, "Most people just call that, 'being a dad.""

These attitudes needs to change.
Because someone has a uterus doesn't mean it is their SINGULAR PURPOSE to create offspring and take care of those offspring.  Oddly enough, it takes two individuals to (naturally) make an offspring (in the case of humans at least) and "the nuclear family" is actually a pretty new concept.  People used to live in villages and everyone took care of everyone else, to include other's children.  Example: infants being fed from whatever female could nurse the baby.  It didn't have to be the mother.  Milkmaids were real.  They are not just from a song.

Additionally, the working woman has been around for forever.  Except that, women.had.help.  It's maybe amusing to imagine the caveman always being away hunting and the woman staying home to tend the farm and children.. but it wasn't like the man and woman lived all alone.  They.had.help.

Today, that same type of help isn't as prevalent.  This very much influences my decision to procreate.  Would I mind having a child if I know that I could go to work (which I do because I enjoy working) and someone I trust would be around to take care of the baby?  Maybe not as much.  Except that I still don't know WHY I should have a kid.  There is no reason that I, Megan LastName, NEED to procreate.

I don't need to pass on my genes for the human race to survive.
I don't feel an obligation to see what Teh German and I could create in a tiny human.
I mean, yeah, the science is cool, but the whole, still having to take care of it for forever and it getting to a stage where it talks back and acts like me doesn't surpass the thrill of "ooo, what could we make?"  It never will for me.  And also, I've seen our Snapchat face-swaps.  We should not procreate.

So this is me saying, fuck it.  Fuck whoever tries to make me feel less for not wanting children.  Especially fuck anyone who expects me to procreate because I have a uterus.  Fuck anyone who tries to tell me that I'm missing out/kids are worth it/it will fulfill me/whatever other possible reason/blah blah blah.  

In case you were waiting on it (because I sure was for a long time), this is your permission to reflect on your desires and make your own decisions.

This is your permission to be honest about YOUR desires, to tell society and whoever else to STFU because you will do what YOU want to do with YOUR body and that you have NO obligation to do whatever they did or what they expect you to do.

It is YOUR right, as a human
to make your own decisions.
Do that.

Weekend Review {1/17}

FRIDAY

I spent most of my Friday thinking about this place:

Our venue.

We made the decision on Thursday night.  #progress

I rode Bagheera into work since Charleston winter is a lot like NY summers.  While at work not only did I potentially find a DJ who was willing to give us a discount because I pointed out that her website wasn't complete, buuuuttt I also got my original numero uno photographer who agreed to give us a discount for a weekday event and paying in cash.  Yes, please, kthx,  I worked until around 1:30, then I could no longer withstand the temptation of a beautiful day with my bike parked outside.

I headed out and made my way to the coliseum to pick up our Shrimp and Grits 5k race packets.  In a moment of poor planning, I hadn't bothered (or remembered) that there was a children's run on this day.  FML because there were children swarming the entire area with their screams and not paying attention and running around and almost running into me.

There was some drama at the pickup because Teh German's packet didn't exist.  Apparently they had never registered him.  Ugh.  I spent about 10 minutes trying to find the copy of the check I wrote back in April at the Bridge Run expo, but technology failed me.  I gave up and just settled on running alone, ugh.  I perused the expo and then headed out.

As I walked out of the building, I stopped and kinda gathered myself after having to dodge no less than 5 children within 20 feet of the door.  There happened to be 2 police officers sitting on a bench nearby and one asked me if I was ok.  I explained that there were just a lot of people and it was kinda overwhelming, but I was fine now.  He noticed my helmet and asked me what I rode and we chatted about bikes for a minute or two.  So many people villainize police officers, but I just don't understand it.  I've never had a bad interaction with a cop.  Even when I've gotten pulled over.  I'm the one in the wrong, so my bad attitude doesn't mean they shouldn't do their job.

I continued on my way to Bagheera.  As I was preparing to leave (which takes several minutes because I have to turn on my headset and turn on music and make sure it's the good jams and put in my earplugs and put my key in the ignition and pull my hair back and put on my helmet then put on my gloves and actually get on the bike and start it, it's a process ya'll), I noticed a car waiting on me to leave since I was in the closest spot available.  I didn't bother to hurry.

Getting on a road was a relief since it was pretty warm in all my layers with my coat and gloves and helmet on.  I headed home and it was time for laziness.

When Teh German eventually came home, we ordered pizza for dinner and watched HIMYM for the rest of the evening.  Knowing that we had events scheduled on Saturday meant that a lazy Friday evening was perfect.  Also, we're halfway through season 9 and while I love HIMYM, I feel like we've been watching this show for eons and I'm ready for it to be over already so we can start watching something else (Sherlock, Modern Family, so many options).

SATURDAY

Saturday morning came wayyy too early and honestly, I almost just skipped the 5k and let my registration fee go as a donation to the North Charleston Arts in School blah blah blah.  But, I was already awake and I really wanted the medal and I hadn't been in Charleston to run the race the 2 years prior...  So I dragged my ass out of bed and did the damn thing.

I was pretty late.  In fact, as I was walking to the start line from where I parked, I heard the gun go off.  Oops.  I walked up to the start line right as the people at the back of the line were starting to walk to get to the start line.. sooooo right on time.  Teh Running Bestie would have never allowed this if she was here.

The run was mostly flat (the Lowcountry way) so it was nice.  I've been dealing with some hip pain over the last week and a half, but when I'm working out it doesn't hurt, so it's a nice reprieve.  The run was easy, I got my medal, walked through the end area, decided against eating shrimp and grits for breakfast and after a run and headed home instead.

Our next event was the Twin's 1st Birthday part at noon.  After I got home, I showered and got ready.  Knowing that "Teh German Time" is usually in effect on the weekend, I had to prod Teh German a little to start getting ready.  He's so very cute.

We made it right on time to the party.. It was everyone else that was late.  I agreed to take pictures for the event as a birthday present.  Twin Dad had smoked pork butts, which meant that BBQ was on the menu for lunch.  NOMMMM.  We ended up leaving around 3.  I was so exhausted that I went home and took a nap.  After a week of sleeping super shitty, it was catching up to me.  I woke up a little bit after 5:30 and heard Teh German answer my phone and chat with Teh Dad for a bit.

I felt like downstairs was too far to go, so I stayed in bed reading and pinning on my wedding board on Pinterest for the night.  Teh German didn't come upstairs because he thought I was asleep.  He also only watched his YouTube videos on his iPad instead of through the TV, which was glorious.  I never realized how much I appreciated silence until Teh German came into the picture with all his music and YouTube videos and noise.  At one point this weekend he had a German radio station streaming downstairs (which is pretty cool in theory), then went upstairs to shower and turned on his Spotify.  Yeah, no.  I shut the downstairs noise off quick-like.

Eventually he did come to bed and it happened to be right around the time that I was done with being awake.  Win.

SUNDAY

Sunday we got a slow start since there was nothing on the schedule other than the neighbor's kid was having a birthday party that we were invited to.  Instead, I scheduled an outing with Roux's Humom and Mr. Golfer.  Teh German tried to get sassy with me because he'd told the kid we'd be going to her bday party the day before, but I was unaware of this.  He said he felt bad because he'd told her he'd go and I said she wouldn't even miss us since all the kids were going to be there and I wasn't really up for that.

Mr. Golfer picked us up at 1245 and before we left, I ran across the street and dropped off a birthday card with $10 in it for the birthday kid (to make Teh German feel better), then we headed to local 9-hole golf course.  It's like beginners level golf.  Oh yeah, I should mention, I've never ever in my entire life played golf before.  Mini-golf yes, but not actual swing and aim at a tiny hole half a mile thataway golf.

Spoiler alert.  All nine holes, hole-in-1.  BOOM.
JK.  Definitely not.

We didn't keep score, but I know that at least 3 of my balls are in the ponds at the course.  I tried to explain to everyone that sports with balls and I don't usually make a good combination, but no one wanted to listen to me.  Additionally, Mr. Golfer is, as you can imagine, SUPER into golf and he's really good.  I am not.  Additionally, I have things that prohibit me from even being a mediocre golfer, specifically big boobs, a bad back, and I've currently got something going on with my hip that makes it hurt all the time.  So yeah, turning my body and swinging and bending and moving, not so much my idea of a good time.  I had committed to going to golfing, not actual golfing.  I was there to be cute.  I have the text to prove it.

That said, I can now say I've (shit-itly) played golf.  There are absolutely zero pictures to prove this.  #bloggerfail

When we got home, I checked up on some internet things, then I agreed to go to the auto stores with Teh German so he could pick up some things to change Suzi's oil.  I knew better than to go in the store with him and just opted to sit in Baloo and wait.  A mabillionty years later, Teh German finally comes back.  Seriously, a mabillionty years, I had check FB, Instagram, and had even started reading but it was making me sleepy-tired, so I just reclined the seat and kinda drifted in and out.  Forever.  Of course, that store didn't have everything we needed so we had to make a stop at their competition across the street.  Fortunately, that trip only took a few minutes.

Teh German had suggested we get a milkshake to make up for his less than stellar attitude.  Instead, I talked him into going to Ye Old Fashioned for ice cream.  We weren't super hungry, but we decided to split a tuna melt and a basket of bacon cheddar fries and it was perfect.  Then we had half of a delicious brownie ice cream sundae.  NOM.

With that, our errands were complete and we headed back home.  While I was inside working on wedding spreadsheets (for the rest of my foreseeable future), Teh German was in the garage changing Suzi's oil.  There was yelling and I checked on him and he wasn't hurt so I came right back inside.  I've learned that my presence isn't helpful, nor is my help actually helpful, so I just leave him be.  Saves me from hurt feelings and much distress.  #notsorry

Apparently the oil catcher container thingy was leaking which was causing some serious drama.  I just pretended like nothing was happening.  Eventually, I was tired of the computer and moved to the couch for some reading time.

Later, Teh German came inside, crisis resolved, changed into lazy clothes and sat down on the couch with me.  NBD, except that he wasn't speaking to me.  I didn't know why, but I could feel the tension and I couldn't figure out the problem since I knew I hadn't done anything to piss him off.  I started having some kindle/library problems and got frustrated, then I blew up on him because he wasn't speaking to me... #womanlogic  I ended up going upstairs at that point and getting ready for bed.  Obviously, I needed some alone time to think about what I had done.. and some sleep.

MONDAY

Monday morning we had a skype date schedule with Papa G, but we were still able to get a slow start.  I messaged Roux's Humom and told her that I was interested in going to the gym if she was going.  We ended up joining the morning crowd around 9.  Teh German wasn't out of the bed yet and I had just been tossing back and forth since I'd fed the beasts, so it was for the best that I leave.  1.5 hours of workout, we made it back.

Teh German was up and eating breakfast.  We hadn't really recovered from whatever was going on the night before.  I went upstairs and showered and when I came back down, Papa G was already on skype.  We discussed wedding plans and progress and Teh German made some commitments that I wasn't pleased with (more things we need to do.. don't even get me started).  After Skype, I encouraged Teh German to start getting ready so we wouldn't be late for our 1230 appointment with our wedding coordinator (see what I just did there?).

Of course, we were still late.  Something on Suzi had to be adjusted and oil level checked and just blah blah blah.  We arrived 10 minutes late, which is pretty good... considering.  First things first, I told her I brought her a present and presented her with an old towel.  When Phil pooped on her floor, she cut up an old towel she had laying around.  Well, I replaced it.  After discussing some details, setting up a meeting for February, and paying her, we were free for the day.

Since it was supposed to rain at any point, we made a quick stop by Tractor Supply Co for Roux, then we came home to be lazy.  Ok, I was lazy.  Teh German did more work on Suzi.  I played around on social media then got bored with it and went to the couch with my book.  Reading was making me tired, so I took a very short nap.

I had invited over Roux's Humom and Mr. Golfer for dinner (to be nice and because I knew we'd have a lot of leftovers) and I knew I needed to get started cooking at 5.  I got up and got everything started and fed the beasts.  Company arrived at 6:30, right on time, and dinner was served after I almost charred the bread.  Oops.  Shitty oven problems.

After they left, it was time for a few episodes of HIMYM, then time for bed since it was a school night, ugh.

_____________________________________

It was a very much needed long weekend.  Last week we had after-work appointments every day except for Friday.  This was my own doing and a necessary evil.  With that one week we were pretty much able to make all of our big wedding decisions and it should be way less running around from here on out.

Also on the positive front for the weekend: I got my W-2 which means tax return!  Which equals wedding dollas!

This Monday-Tuesday was only slightly Monday-ish, which was nice.

Hooray for a short week!  Let it actually feel like a short week!!!

PS.  For those of you chomping at the bit on wedding deets (ok probably not many of you, that's ok), I have an announcement tomorrow on the wedding front that is a pretty big deal to me (you may have already seen it)... :D

Wednesday/Thursday Ramble #3

-NEWS FLASH LADIES (if you're a dude this doesn't really apply to you unless you really love your woman and if that's the case, you need to tell her about this)!!!!  There's a thing called a Menstrual Cup.  Yep, that sounds gross, but how does it sound to not have to deal with bloody feminine hygiene products in the trash each month?  Or better yet, not having Teh Sister recce a pooped out, used tampon in her yard when you come to visit that one of your dogs left while you were in Raleigh...  Yeah that happened.  Anyways.  Menstrual cup is a thing.  Brit and many other smart women before me posted about it and if you're tired of the tampon string going up your butt crack when you wipe and finding ways to keep your blood thirsty animals from eating your monthly sacrifice, check this baby out.  It's also on Amazon.

-Extra news flash:  Teh Sister informed me that these menstrual cup things exist at Walmart in a disposable form.  Interesting.  I told her she could get them for me for Christmas.  Definitely a sister-to-sister gift.


-I learned on Monday that I look pretty much worthless via my resume.  This was from a stranger who pointed out all the things I'm lacking and suggested I look for a job "up north."  Granted, he looked at my resume and compared it to a job posting that I was looking at and gave me his honest opinion, but still.  To be told to look in a different area (he wasn't aware of the whole moving to Charleston for a purpose thing) and to have someone point out just how little experience I have in any single field (thanks Navy) burned.  I just want to ask him, should I stretch the truths to get a job?

-My tolerance for bullshit is getting lower and lower the longer I'm employed at Target.  Why didn't I apply at a small company that actually gives a shit?  Ugh.  Working a split shift the day before Thanksgiving isn't really high on my list of things to do.

-When I sit down at the computer, I automatically go to indeed or linkedin or some sort of job hunting website.  Honestly, it's consuming my life.  I sat down Tuesday night and Wednesday night to write this blog and then squirrel-ed to indeed and then had dinner and watched Mr. Mystery play video games while I was on more job sites.  I feel like it's all I ever talk about anymore and that makes me sad.

-Mr. Mystery wants me to get a "real life" job so household morale improves.  The dogs don't seem to care either way.

-Every time I want to play Katamari, I get distracted by hours of job searching.

-I've considered getting a part-time nanny/babysitting job and starting my Master's classes again, but that thought is always fleeting.  Additionally, there is something incredibly scary about being the carer of a child.  What if the child is a little shit?  Either way, I started the care.com registration, but I've yet to apply for any positions what with still being employed at hell Target.  Also, children are little germ buckets and I hate being sick.  But still, better than Target?  Probably.  My fear is also that I wouldn't get lucky to get an awesome family.  I've been lucky like that in the past, in college and even keeping Navy coworker children, but those were people that I knew.  Strangers are a whole different story.

-Since I no longer live with a teenager, my hip vocabulary has significantly decreased.  Apparently "basic" now has a special implied pop culture meaning that I'm not yet privy too.  But if I had to guess, it probably applies to me.

-I still say "swerve" to Teh MD Teenage Roomie while doing a butterfly with my hands because to me swerve is what a butterfly does when there is a strong breeze... like say when you barely miss hitting it with your car and it has to get realigned for flight.

-I feel like I should apologize to all the people in my life that I whine to.  I feel like the last 2-3 months I've been incredibly whiny when really I should just be incredibly grateful., which I am.. I just whine louder.

-While I'm hoping for new/better employment, I'm still loving the blue hair and I really wonder how much it will affect an interview.  Granted, my roots are starting to show, which makes me sad, since I'm not planning on bleaching them to redye them.  I haven't decided what my next color should be yet, but I have a feeling it's going to be a burgundy-purple color from the box, which kinda makes me sad because the blue is aweeeeesome.

Prob darker than this.

-More about blue hair, I often forget I have blue hair.  Seriously.  I don't really pay attention unless it's down or I'm shedding and even then, it no longer seems unnatural.  Having blue hair has definitely earned me some nicknames at Target.  If I were to quit there and dye my hair to a more "normal" color, I doubt anyone would recognize me.

Hello? Is this thing on?

This is going to be a random brain dumping post, so hold on for a wild ride read.

Teh Ginger told me when he was editing my resume that 2 spaces after a period is antiquated.  Is that true?  If so, I don't care.  I still hold to my 2 spaces after a period unless I'm writing a paper for a class and I've went over the page limit and I need to tighten it up some.  I'm not a little bit sorry.  And yes I said go OVER the page limit.  It's a common problem I have.

I went to Target orientation to Thursday.  It was strange to me to FEEL overqualified for a job.  I was handling it pretty well until I saw that they scheduled me for 24 hours in a 2 week period.  Then I did the math.  $8.50 an hour (yes, that's what I'm getting paid and yes I'm slightly ashamed) for 24 hours = $204 for 2 weeks.. and that's NOT deducting taxes.  So lets just roughly estimate $175ish for 2 weeks.  There might have been tears when I figured that out.

Additionally, going back to a place that I worked at in college and earning almost minimum wage again has been a difficult pill to swallow.  Some of the people who hold leadership positions at this Target graduated from college THIS year.  As in gradated college with their Bachelor's in 2014.  I graduated college in 2007, did 6 years in the Navy, and started on my M.A. and I'm working part-time for minimum wage under someone that graduated THIS YEAR.  My soul is crushed.  Additionally, listening to the HR manager tell us how much better her life was once she left the floor and got into management didn't help the situation... AT ALL.

To all those people who told me how easy it would be for me to find a job with my security clearance and my job history and already having my B.A.... What were you talking about?!?!?!  What am I doing wrong?  Am I just being impatient?  Do I not have enough faith that things will work out?

I know that with the house and the move, everything fell into place at, what felt like, the last possible minute.  I was hoping to start work on October 20th, so that last possible minute would have been a few days before that.  Is this some type of joke where God's "last possible minute" is November 9th?  Because if that's the case fine, I just need a little heads up so I can fuel a little more patience and put these breakdowns on the back burner.

On the other hand, working at Target means I get to keep my blue hair.  Since it was my first day of work, I wore it in a very "professional" sock bun, per Teh Worldwide Jesus Lover's suggestion.  She doesn't understand just how uncool sock buns are, but that's because she was never in the military.  Additionally, I don't use a sock, I use the As-Seen-On-TV Bun Maker thingy.  It's pretty sweet because it weighs so much LESS than an actual sock, which I have used before... ouch.

My first official day of work was Monday and it was more disappointing than I expected.
The Target that I work at seems to be a shit-show.  If I had been a customer walking into that store when it opened and saw what I saw, I'd have walked out and never went back.  There were all kinds of shopping carts all over the stores with merchandise to still be put out.  That first day, I worked in clothes, or what Target refers to as Softlines.  There were clothes on wrong racks, unfolded clothes all over the tables, men's clothes in the women's section, women's clothes in the kid's sections, gaping holes where merchandise should have been in women's socks/underwear.  It was bad.  Then after we'd finally finished putting the clothes away wherever we could find a place (even if it didn't go there), we moved over to HBA (health and beauty aids, so your cosmetics, hygiene products, etc).  I almost lost it when I couldn't put product out because the wrong product was in it's spot.. because the wrong product was in the wrong product's spot.  After rearranging 3 different types of shaving creams and several different types of deodorant, I was done.

There was another new girl who was working with me and she and I had been told that it was someone else's job to zone (i.e. fix what wasn't in the correct places), so we shouldn't worry about it.  Wait, what?  I shouldn't worry about the fact that I can't put this product out because something else is in the wrong spot?  I can't even.  By the time I left, I was hangry and frustrated.

Additionally, I find it ridiuclous that we were schedule 0630-1030, but they were planning on asking us if we wanted to stay for longer.  Why not just write the schedule for as long as you wanted us to stay?  I can make plans to be at work for as long as you schedule me for.. if I am schedule to work that time.  If I'm not scheduled, then what?  This Target is unbearably frustrating to me.  I don't remember this kind of scenario at the Target in Cary.

Anyone wanna hire me for a "real life" job in the Charleston area?

The afternoon after my first day of work, I posted on FB asking if anyone knew of companies in Charleston that were hiring or had any contacts they could pass my resume onto since networking is the best way to get a job.  I had a few people who offered to pass on my resume and then I had people say shit like, "You should have moved to DC," or "I could help if you were in my location."  Not helpful.  Seriously?  Why would anyone say that?  I'm not moving to DC, I moved to SC for a reason, and yes it was a risk, but I still have faith that it will work out better than I planned... or at least I have a blind faith that it will hope out better than I planned.

I went through motorcycle safety class last weekend and I loved riding a motorcycle.  Now, we didn't go faster than 20mph, and I think that driving on the highway would terrify the bejesus out of me, but maybe one day when I can afford more than the $10 water bill I might be able to afford a motorcycle.  Hahahhaha... /sadface.

I missed my linkup Monday with Britt and Emmy and I feel a little bad about it, but I've just been wiped out.  Between feeling pretty worthless about this job situation and having the determination to even walk into Target and then dealing with things on the homefront, it's just been a difficult time.  We've finally reached a month of living together and rather than just sit back and let things bother me, I've been speaking up about it, so that way it's not assumed I'm ok with things.  Additionally, I didn't really have much of a weekend to review.

Friday was Halloween and I had nothing to do (except for meet Mr. Mystery for lunch and then we went to the Ducati motorcycle shop to size a helmet and jacket for me) until class that started at 5 and was supposed to end at 9.  We got out early at 7:30, which was nice.  I didn't get home till 8 since I had to pick up some candy on the way home since we ran out.  I heard that Meri and Phil were a hit though, even if Mr. Mystery didn't put their costumes on them.

Me: Thing 2
Phil: Drunk Mexican
Meri: Princess Leia

Saturday I was in class all day and when I came home from class, we went to Mellow Mushroom for dinner since we had both been thinking about it earlier in the day.  Sunday was class again all day, then after I got out of class, I met Mr. Mystery at his boss's house to watch foosball.  Around 6, we finally left and came home to feed the dogs, then we went back out for dinner at a mexican place around the corner.

Did I mention I've gained about 10 lbs since I arrived in SC?  All this eating out and not running is absolutely killing me (literally cause fat kills you? get it?  get it?!).  I'm not complaining, but I really need to self-motivate more and get off my ass.  Working out makes for a happier Teh Megan, overall, not just in a yay-my-pants-fit-again-thank-God-because-I-work-at-Target-and-can't-afford-to-buy-more type way.

In Charleston, people rarely go over the speed limit.  Sometimes, people don't even go THE speed limit.  But these bitches are HAPPY to run red lights.  Been sitting at the red light too long and there's no oncoming traffic?  Oh, nbd, just gonna make my turn now, but I just drove down the road doing 35 in a 45mph zone, don't mind me.  #RAGE!

I was shopping at Bi-Lo so Mr. Mystery could get credit towards his gas.  But when I had to pay $2 more for the same beer that I didn't get a Publix, I told him I was done with Bi-Lo.  #sorrynotsorry Also, why wasn't I using the gas credit????  I'm not the one with the motorcycle.  Then again, apparently, the motorcycle requires premium gas.  Whatevs.

I'm so stressed about all.the.things that my hair is coming out.  All this expensive blue hair, just falling out of my head.  /weep.

I have been spending significantly less time on the computer since I got to SC.  Mr. Mystery isn't as technologically superior dependent as me, so I try not to be on the computer all the time when he is home, unless I'm applying for jobs or talking to people or he's playing video games.  This has been detrimental to my blogging... along with my pretty busy schedule last weekend.

We were actually asleep before 9:30 Sunday night, which I only know because I had missed texts from Teh MD Adult Roomie and Teh Sister around that time that I didn't see until I woke up late (i.e. 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave for Target) on Monday morning.  Going to bed that early meant no time for blogging, even though I gave the computer a longing look when I turned off the lights and went into the bedroom, that counts for something, right?

At 2:20 on Tuesday afternoon I started drinking because all of these things, plus dealing with the phone insurance company set me over the edge.  I'm just over it all right now and while I wish this was all PMS invoked drama, it's not even close to PMS time.  Le sigh.

When you're at the bottom, you can only go up from there right?  Riiiiight??????
(Let's just say that was a rhetorical question or that you said "yes" so I don't have a breakdown.)

I started reading The Help the other day and I love it.  I don't know anything about the book, other than it is supposed to be really good and that's not the reason that I love it.  I love it because I can read and comprehend southern dialect and it feels like home in my brain.  As much as I fight the country, reading the southern dialect makes me incredibly happy.  The Help keeps making me think of Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry (I just remembered that title randomly because earlier when I was trying to think of it, I couldn't remember to save my life, take that brain!) that we read in 7th grade English.  Mostly because they are set around the same time and talk about segregation.  Granted I'm only 20 pages into The Help, so I'm sure there will be more to rave about later, but seriously, southern talk makes my brain happy.

I finally put Meri and Phil's jammies on them.  Then I took them out in public on a walk.  We got so many compliments.  Then we ran into a group of boys who were 6-10 years old and 2 of the boys were walking their dogs.  The dogs proceeded to drag them down the street in an attempt to get to us.  I huffed it down the street and around the corner so Meri would refocus and so their dogs wouldn't catch us.  Instead of going down a different street, they followed us and I wanted to slaughter a group of children.  Also, what parents thinks letting their 6-8 year old walk their dog is a good idea?  It's not.  Your 80 pound kid can't control your 80 pound dog.  I know you want both the kid and the dog out of the house, but that's not a solution.  EVER.  I wasn't worried that either dog was going to attack us, they just seemed overly interested and the boys were unable to control the dogs like an adult would have been able to.  It wasn't the kid's fault.  It wasn't the dog's fault.  People make me rage.

I bought Beautiful Katamari for the Xbox 360 since that's what Mr. Mystery has (and since Teh Bear took the PS3 I bought for Christmas with him, yay for unlabled, ambiguous Cmas presents) and I'm still not the best at Katamari.  It doesn't help that with the 360 controller, the joysticks aren't on the same horizontal plane.  I figure with practice I'll get better.  I also purchased Viva Pinata, and Marvel Ultimate Alliance, which came with Forza 2, a racing game.  The purpose of buying all these games was twofold.  1.  They all have a multiplayer function so Mr. Mystery and I could play together.  2.  I was "celebrating" getting the job at Target.

Please note that very rarely do I say I went to work.  I just say I went to Target.  I'm hoping that I won't be working there for very long.  Dear Work Gods, please please please please pleaseeeeeeee bestow a delightful full-time job upon me.  Plskthx.  -Desperate Teh Megan

Humpday Confessions #12

Short weeks spoil me for long weeks that seem to go on and on and on and onnnnnn.

Confessions:

-I bought local honey from a stand on the side of the road recently and it was $11 for a pint sized mason jar and I was like WTF so 'spenive!  Then we opened it and I tried it and OMG WORTH ITTTTT.  It tastes like flowers kinda and was the perfect sweetness.  I hadn't had "real" honey since I was a little girl and OMG, I hope to never have to buy store honey again... EVER.  Side note: I had a quart jar of PA honey when Teh Bear was here, but he took it back to FL with him, since he was the tea drinker, and left me with the crappy store honey.  Le sigh.

-A sure way to piss me off?  Ask me for the same information over and over and over and over, rather than just save it the first or second or third time I send it to you.  Redundancy makes me irate.

-I saw Teh Blog on someone's reading list last Wednesday and I might have done a little dance.  Followers..

-There were no gifs in last week's confessions and I felt like a failure.. but I went to bed early instead.  Sorry not sorry.

-Link-up "rules" are stupid.  That's why Kathy's link-up is the best evar of all the link-ups.  No follow me and all your hosts, no comment on the person before you, no "I'm gonna check and make sure you're following or I'll delete your link", I mean some people don't even post confessions who link up and those links even stay there (I'm only kinda complaining about this, but that's the blogger's fault, not the host)..  Ain't nobody got time for that shit.  So yeah, Kathy rocks, if you weren't already aware.

-The E-2 sounds like a swarm of bees and it makes me irrationally angry when I hear it running outside the hangar.  The roar of the F-35 also makes me irrationally angry, but then again, when they blast past my house, rattling my windows, I feel like I'm justified.  This girl does NOT (heart) jet noise. 

-It annoys me when people, primarily women, of course, comment how awful they look in a photo, especially if they aren't the primary focus in the photo.  I've been reading a lot of articles recently about women and body image and rights and stuffs like Hobby Lobby and Verizon commercials (watch it here) and women empowerment in general; I even read one on men and body image!  I just want to shake people, again, primarily women, and be like YOU ARE YOU!  Stop demeaning yourself!  Stop being so hard on yourself!  In the grand scheme of things, how bad you THINK you look is only hurting YOU!  If you are ashamed of the way you look, fix it, it's that simple.  You can't go on a run or a walk?  Go swimming, it is (currently) summer time...  You don't have time?  You don't have the money?  There's 10 minute workout videos on youtube for FREE.  Unless you have some type of actual disfigurement, stop hating your body (not to say if do have an actual disfigurement you should body hate, but you might have a reason to be a bitter-pants).  It's the only body you have, be proud of it.  It's gotten you through so many things.  It's an amazing, adaptable thing and it works for YOU.

-While I'm on the soapbox, seeing kids with no self-confidence makes me infuriated.  I get it that some kids are shy, but I feel like every kid should have a cheerleader.  To cheer them on when they do stupid shit and when they do incredibly genius shit and the gamut in between.  That's the thing about being a kid, everything is new.  Yes, there are wrong answers, but getting them wrong is a learning experience.  When I see a girl with her arms wrapped around her waist and she's hunched over, practically folded into herself because she's self-conscious or shy or defensive about being where's she at, I want to shake her and tell her she needs to be proud of herself and carry herself with dignity and to not be afraid or defensive about whatever situation she's in.  I'm just saying... confidence, have some.

-I get irrationally angry when someone uses the term "girl" for women or lady or female.  I feel like girl is something that describes a female that is under the age of 18.  At 18, you can become a lady.  At some point in your 20s you become a woman.  When describing females in college as "college girls" I can feel my blood start to boil.  Women in college aren't girls, even if they act like they are 13.  And the Navy taught me that when woman is just too awkward, "female" is always appropriate.

-Sometimes, I forget that not everyone is/has been in the military.  A FB friend gave away a True Blood spoiler on FB and then this went down:

All I could think of was my own experiences where I wasn't able to keep up when I wasn't living in the US.  When I couldn't play certain YouTube videos because I wasn't in the "right" country, when I emailed ABC to tell them I was stationed overseas and couldn't keep up with Grey's because there was a country block on Bahrain, when the bandwidth in GTMO was so limited it took 15 minutes to load a 2 minute YouTube video, so trying to stream an hour long TV show was out of the realm of possibility.  I thought of my friends who would have been PISSED if I had given away the spoilers to their favorite show when they were stationed in the Sand Box.  I still haven't seen the final seasons of HIMYM because it's not on Netflix and I don't watch television in real time, nor do I have a DVR.. and I was IN America when that aired. 

Bottom line, friends don't give away spoilers on social media, no matter how many hours/weeks/months/years ago the episode/season aired.  It's just the right thing to do.  If I were to read articles about the show that gave away spoilers, that's my own fault. 

That is not to say that you shouldn't post about current episodes on FB, but a general NOOOOOOO!!!!!! will suffice, rather than saying so and so was killed.  I'd rather vaguebook with a tag that I'm watching a show so more people would be interested in watching it so we can discuss it than just lay it all out there as a status. 

That's just me.

-I was pulled over on Sunday morning after church and then this happened:
State Trooper (ST): Good morning.  How are you doing?
Me: Good morning.  Well, I was doing pretty good, but now I'm not sure anymore.
ST: *Laughs* Well, why not?  Do I look like a scary guy?
Me: Well..  I don't think I look scary, but plenty of people say I'm mean.
ST: *Laughs* I pulled you over this morning because you were going 64 in a 45.
Me: But it's 50 there, not that that really helps my case.
ST: It doesn't change to 50 until after you passed where I was parked.
Me: Touche.
ST: If I could just get your license and registration.
*I hand him my stuff and he goes back to his car and comes back a minute or two later.*
ST: So, here you go.  I just gave you a warning this time because you are in a good mood.
Me: OMG thank you so much!  I'd give you a hug right now, but that's probably inappropiate.
*ST laughs and explains the information on the ticket to me and warns me that he and his friends were out all day and to slow down.*
Me: I'm coming from church, so lets just say the spirit was moving me, but I'll definitely tame that spirit a bit.
ST: *Laughs* Have a good day.

If I wasn't his best "customer" all day, I'm disappointed in myself.  I'm not sure if it was my charming personality or my big boobs (which were completely covered) but I'm grateful for a warning ticket.  I proudly displayed it on the fridge when I got home.  The power of laughter goes a long way.

-Monday night I ate dinner at 5pm and stayed up past my 9pm bedtime to putting together a 1000 piece puzzle with Teh MD Roomies.... soooo I'm pretty much 90.

-I might have published this on Tuesday morning because I was 100% positive it was Wednesday and I couldn't figure out why Kathy hadn't posted the link up by 0630.  I stalked her page for at least 30 minutes before I realized I was a day early.  Obviously humpday confessions is my favorite blog post of the week.

Five on Friday #23

UNO

I signed up for a 1/2 marathon.  In.real.life.  Holy shit.

This is the 2nd crazy thing Teh Motivator has talked me into.  The first thing was the Monster Glow Dash 5k, which happened to be in the dark, in a field.  But we got to wear neon and we didn't have to go out of town and, luckily, no one twisted an ankle and I was already in "costume" to attend a halloween party on the way home.  I even had the smell to accompany my outfit.

I'm doing the DIVAS run in Leesburg, VA on Sept 13th, which I guess means that instead of posting this I should be researching 1/2 marathon training plans, but whatevs.  Excitement first, training second.

(source)

So it will be ALL.THE.THINGS.PINK, which might freak me out a bit, but I figure if I'm going to do it, who cares.  Maybe I'll wear my color run tutu on principle?  IDK.  I'm still overwhelmed by this decision.  WTF was I thinking?!?!

DOS

Life is starting to feel like its racing towards September.  Which is what I want, I think.  Except that I have a million and a half things that I need to do and the countdown keeps ticking down.

-Rewrite my resume (because I need a general one)
-Find a job (in freakin' TN... FML)
-Find a place to live (in TN, where there's only 1.91" of snow on average)
-Schedule my packout (which shouldn't be too difficult, except it will be)
-Survive my packout (my precious, precious things!)
-Potential trip in August (yay vacation!)
-1/2 Marathon in Sept (still, woah)

Me, before the end, I'm certain.
(source)

TRES

I wanted to do a photography challenge this month, but it's already the 5th and I'm like, meh, there's always next month.  And lets be honest, FatMumSlim does them every month now, so as soon as I decided to do it, she'd probably stop.  FML.  My DSLR hasn't been out of the bag in... an uncountable amount of months.  I used to love her so much, and now... not so much.  I'm much more about ease of use than quality.  I've become the cell phone camera lady.  /facepalm.  I've even stopped using my point and shoot.  Some of that was because it was giving me issues and not taking the photo when I would press the shutter release, but most of it was laziness of not wanting to carry around my cell phone and a camera.  Since I got Suzy2, my camera phone is as good as the point and shoot, so why bother?

Because you don't pass up Loki gifs...  EVER.
(source)

QUATRO

Meri got into Teh MD Adult Roomie's motrin on Saturday evening.  We weren't sure if she ate any, but after coming up with 5 missing pills after counting and 2 days of black pudding poops (sorry for that TMI), I assumed that she had at least some and we went to the vet.  $200 later, we came home.  I was pretty distraught that she might not be coming home with me on the way to the vet.  The world was ending.  I was unbearably grateful that she got to come home on Monday.  Except that now, she refuses to take her pills when I "hide" them in her food.  We have to force them down her throat and I wasn't very good at that until Teh Roomie showed me how it's done.  There might have been a Megan Meltdown because Meri kept spitting out her pills when I'd try to give them to her.  Now, we're dealing with diarrhea still and Wednesday and Thursday nights, I was up at midnight:30, 3:30, and 5 with her to take her out to go business since she woke me up whining to go out.

If this is what having a child is like, spare me.  It's really, really good that Meri is cute.  I'm not sure if actual kids could be this cute.  Meri is at least potty trained and I don't have to deal with her poops (usually).

Love my little terrorist snuggler, even if she makes me a million degrees.

CINCO

(source)

Thank Allah it's FRRRRRIIIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYY!!!!!!  Despite only ending up working 3 days this week, this week had me all confused and I was certain that Thursday was Tuesday even though it felt like Monday and I know that next week is going to be a battle for sure because I have to get my coworkers trained on a program/website that only I use the correct way.  Getting them to set up their accounts has been enough of a battle because I work with all dudes who feel like ignoring/deleting emails if they don't know what they are about is completely acceptable rather than ask the questions.

Is it time for rum yet?

(source)

 Linking up with these ladies since it's FRRRIIIIIDAY: