Confessions {11/23}

-Teh German has been doing a lot of sighing at me lately.  It really gets on my nerves and I'm sure I'm equally as bad about it, but I always notice he does it when I've asked him to do something or he's not getting what he wants.... like a teenager.  So last week, I finally said, "Stop sighing at me.  It's rude."  I doubt it will last long, but after that I didn't hear anymore heavy sighs.  All I can think of is, "He's going to do this in front of our kids and I'm going to kill all of them."  #thinkingofthefuture

-I bought hot cocoa with marshmallows to keep at my desk at work.  I'm afraid that I'm going to have to buy more marshmallows before I get to the bottom of the canister because I go out of my way to dig out marshmallows.  #INEEDSthemarshmallows  #ALLthemarshmallows

-I may or may not have broken in my shoes when I was injured (with my gimp toe) and now my knees hurt every time I run.  Because my toe was injured, my gait was off, so it's either the shoes, or I'm readjusting to my new "improve" no-longer gimp toe gait.  I'm hoping that I can re-break my shoes, but I'm worried that won't be possible.  My next step is to try inserts.. then after that, cry over the loss of over $200.  #runnerproblems

-I've stopped putting product in my hair every day.  I don't even care if the curls get poofy.  I've embraced the laziness.  #crazyhairdontcare

-Monday night I was planning on having a chat with Teh German about selfishness.  And then.. when he got home, without me even asking him, he brought in the desk that had been delivered and started putting it together.  While he was working on the desk, I made dinner.  When we were finished with dinner, he went back to building and I did the dishes for him and then laid on the couch with a heating pad.  I would have cleaned the floors, but 1- Teh German was using the vacuum and 2- I did something to my back and now it hurts to breathe deeply, so it was for the best that I wasn't putting forth much physical effort.  That said, doing the floors is going to really, really suck.  #ImOld #newfurniture

-I noticed Monday that my ear plugs were missing from the headboard.  This is mostly bad because the doors rattle and it gets on my nerves, so I put earplugs between the boards so they don't rattle.. and because sometimes I like to have earplugs to sleep.  I figured I had lost them in the bed, but they were no where to be found, so I got 2 more out of the container and put them between the boards, whatevs.  Tuesday comes, Teh German had dusted the headboard and I figured he may have knocked the earplugs off or tossed them because he thought they were old, whatevs, no biggie.  I got 2 more out of the container and put them between the boards.  I go brush my teeth and get ready for bed and hop in. 

When Teh German comes upstairs, I hear the door on the headboard rattling again.  I know I just put 2 earplugs between the boards to keep that from happening.  Teh German comes to bed and I ask him if he'd done something with my earplugs.  He said no.  Then I remembered something..  Meri has been laying on my side of the bed a lot lately and she has a thing for buttplugs my earplugs.  Bitch dog has been eating my damn earplugs!  I know she's eaten at least 4.  This means that I get to go on poop watch for a few days.  This would also explain why she didn't eat breakfast one morning.  #mydogeatsweirdshit #shemustlikethewayitfeelswhenitcomesout

-My Shutterfly order was mailed out on Sunday.  It's in my town, per the tracking site, but the estimated delivery is 12/2.  I will be super pissed if my photos sit at the post office just because I didn't pay for priority shipping and they could have arrived in priority shipping time.  #delivermyshit

-Teh German and I agreed we "need" some Panthers gear to attend the game on Christmas Eve.  After some consideration, I may end up passing on gear because I know I'll probably be dressed in layers and wearing my heavy coat the entire time, so unless I get a hat, it won't be showing.  That said, I already have plenty of hats, so I'm not really keen on buying another one that I will rarely wear.  #curbthatspending #savingforDisney

-Teh WJL finished listening to Outlander and she called it smut.  I couldn't deny it, especially after listening to Voyager (Outlander #3) and I'm pretty sure there was a sex scene just to have a sex scene.   At least these books aren't literary garbage...  #lookinatyou50sog

-Teh German suggested that maybe "we" create a cleaning schedule for once a week for 30 minutes instead of having to clean the house all on one day for 3 hours.  I had to stifle laughter and rage at the same time.  Mostly because he didn't include the hour and a half I spent scrubbing the bathrooms Sunday night while he sat on his ass and watched youtube. 

Later, I explained that 30 minutes once a week wasn't a reasonable expectation to keeping the house clean.  Maybe 30 minutes per day is more like it.  I did tell him if he was serious about using the cleaning schedule, I would create one, but if it was just a waste of my time, I wasn't interested in coming up with a cleaning schedule.  #hecantbeserious  #yepstillbitter 

-Christmas shopping complete!  I donated to One80 Place in Charleston since Home, Home EMS never got back to me about receiving donations through an Amazon shipment.  Their loss.  #donationinsteadofgifts #youdontneedmorestuff

-While giving money feels good, I know that if I actually volunteered in the community, I'd feel like I've actually done something.  Throwing money at people is easy, getting off my ass, not so much.  I miss volunteering.  Yet I haven't bitten the bullet and actually found a new place that I want to volunteer with.  Additionally, I don't like it when events fall on school nights because that messes with my routine.  #volunteer #setinmyways #sacrificeishard #firstworldlife

-I did something to my back sitting on my ass.  I wish I was kidding, but I have no idea what I did on Monday.  I drove to my meeting at 0830, missed it because I was at the wrong (not marked) building, drove back to the office, sat at my desk until lunch time and at some point between getting back and lunch, it started to hurt to breathe.  Any time I tried to take a deep breath, it was like I had a stitch in my back (midway, on the right).  It was pretty painful, so I headed home early and popped some muscle relaxers in the hope that it would help.  It kinda did, but I still worked from home Tuesday because twisting my body to check blind spots while driving wasn't happening.  Today has shown much improvement, even though I still can't take a super deep breath.  I'm definitely going to hang out with the Chiro today to see if that offers any relief.  PS.  Cleaning the floors wasn't as difficult as I imagined it was going to be.  #icantbreathe

-Within 5 minutes of Cards Against Humanity sending out their email about a new expansion and a new box, I ordered some goodies.  #notsorry #biggerblackerbox #mineminemine

Volunteering and feelz.

Back in January, I was finally awarded my first (and only) Military Outstanding Volunteer Service Medal.  Honestly, I was proud.  Really proud.  But now, I'm over it and I'm burnt out and I hate that.  I hate that I'd rather sit at home on my couch than do the things that I enjoyed doing for the past 2 years because its so much effort.  (Ok, when I think about it, as I have several times now, there are probably some deeper issues here than what's on the surface, but I'm still going to rant, kthx.)

Phil and I have stopped visiting the nursing home.  He wasn't really enjoying it, which I knew the entire time, but we still went because: community service, yo.  I am still working with the praise band at church and doing some Greyt Expectations (GEGR) volunteer stuff, but I'm less dedicated to both.  I don't feel bad when I miss a praise band practice and I don't feel bad when I don't go to GEGR dogathons.

I think part of it is that I've learned what I like and don't like in regards to these particular volunteer efforts.  I'd rather wake up at 3am and go fetch dogs in VA and bring them back to S.MD than do the washing and the adoption process for the greyhounds.  There are times I'd rather sing with the praise band than sit in the back running the soundboard.  But the opportunities to do the things I want to do when I volunteer are practically nonexistent and I feel like that is really effecting my desire to volunteer for things.

Like when I volunteer to do a particular thing and I am told there's something else for me to do, even though they kinda need help for what I actually volunteered to do, I get extremely frustrated.  I get burnt out.  I lose the desire to volunteer at all, which really, really sucks because when I'm not doing the things I do, I get bored and lonely and a downward spiral of things that just aren't pretty.  Or better yet, rather than being redirected, I'm not selected to be a part of things at all, yeah that's the worst.

I think another part of the volunteer decline is that I'm separating myself from this life.  It seems strange, but I have a feeling some of my military-experienced readers may understand.  I know that I am leaving S.MD.  I'm not sure how far away I'll get, but I know I won't be here.  Each time I have a transition, I pull away from those that are close to me.  It happens every.single.time.  It happened when I went to college, it happened when I left for the Navy, it happened when I left the States, it happened when I left GTMO, it happened when I left Bahrain.  You know exactly who you'll keep up with when you move away/on and exactly who you won't, which seems cruel in a way, but it is what happens.  You don't know what you're going to find when you arrive at your destination.  I remember being very, very lonely my first 6 months to a year in S.MD, and then one day I realized that I did have friends and I did do things.  They had slowly creeped into my life and when I finally realized it, it was a surprise.

I believe that a final part of my lack of desire to do anything except sit on my couch is potentially part of the grieving process, which is difficult for me to admit.

I'm pretty much a robot.  I am good at shutting down and not conveying my emotions (like when I volunteer for something and I'm redirected), a master of nonchalance (which I've often gotten complaints about).  Granted, people might notice that something isn't quite right with me, but they can't often tell if I'm mad or sad or excited, etc.  Often I am able to redirect and say how I tired I am, which works 95% of the time.  Yet, its quite difficult to lie to myself when I can feel the truthful answer.  The feelz suck, ya'll.

I hate how real the 5 stages of grief are and how when I don't think something is happening at the time, it becomes much obvious later that I was wrong.  I like to pretend that I covered all 5 stages of grief the last 2 weeks of February, but now that I think about it and look at my current circumstances, I can no longer believe that is accurate.  Granted, Teh Bear and I had a pretty long relationship and it seems like a healthy thing to grieve over the end of something I had invested so much into (even if it was my choice to end it).  Word on the street is that he is doing well and I am happy for him.  Other than the immediate moments after he left the house and pulled away at the intersection, there haven't been any other times that I've ever wished anything was different.  I lived, I loved, I learned, or however the quote goes.

I spent several weeks in a state of consistent retail therapy and then went to Disney World.  I really should stop that method of making things better per my bank account.  Now I'm back to figuring out life as it is.  Watching shows that we used to watch together and realizing that its not as scary or as painful as I expected it to be.  Back to cooking 1/2 meals to eat for the entire week since it's just me again.  Back to doing all my own cleaning and knowing that I meet my own exceedingly high cleaning standards every time.  Back to coming home to an empty house (except for the dogs).

Yes, there are great things still happening in my life.  I have a person and a plan and Meri is house-broken and I'm saving so much money on groceries and I'm getting out of the Navy and I've lost 10-15 lbs because I'm eating smarter and working out regularly and winter is finally gone (which is bittersweet cause I love my snows, but YAY flower pics!).  There are good things, even in the bleakness of right now.  Sometimes, its just difficult to focus on the good and the possibility for good when the bleakness looms so large.  Nonetheless, I'll keep trekkin'.  I will prevail, even if its just because I'm too stubborn to fail.

For now, I think I'll go put on my Minnie ears to bring some magic into my day.

I don't care what you say, these ears are MAGICAL, dammit, MAGICAL!

Makin it through May...

This weekend felt like there wasn't enough time for all the things I wanted to do...

Friday night I held down the VX-1 duty office like the best CL2 VX-1 has ever seen.  The night didn't really pass quickly, and the day felt really long since I had to be up on Friday morning at normal time since I had a chiropractor appointment first thing.  After my appointment, I went to the pharmacy and chatted with my XO while we waited on our meds together.  Lots of people at my command aren't his biggest fan, but I don't mind.  After getting my meds, I went to Chick-fil-a to get a free breakfast combo that I'd received a coupon for in the mail.  (YAY FREE SHIT!)

I, creepily, ate breakfast in the parking lot of Petco since the store wasn't open since it wasn't even 9am.  After returning an item that was too small for Phil (surprise) and getting some dog food, it was time to head back home.  I had a momentary motivated streak, but it passed after I realized I didn't have the equipment to fullfil the motivation.

You see, Teh Greyhound Neighbors (husband) offered me a free gas weed-eater since he had an extra that he didn't use.  This offer meant I could return the unused one that I've been meaning to use but hadn't yet an put $100 back in my pocket.  WIN.  I let the moment of motivation pass to save $100.

Instead of weed-eating.  I furminated Phil-boy.
They say Greyhound don't shed...  they do... minimally, but they do.

Phil's new nickname is "Snowman"..
These are Snowman's snowballs.

I got to Skype with Teh Bear before his phone interview.  And after several hours of internetting, I decided to lay down for a nap so I would be able to survive my watch that evening.  Teh Bear called as I was laying down to say that everything had went well and he was progressing to step 8 of 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wooo!!!  (I'm obnoxiously excited about this.)

After a nap and a shower, I was getting ready for work and realized that my dress whites uniform, which I had been telling my LPO was ready to go for the last 2 weeks, isn't actually ready to go.... as it still has a COMUSNAVCENT rocker on the arm.  Teh Megan fail.

I stopped by the post office to splurge on some stamps before going into work.  During our walk on Thursday, Teh Greyhound Neighbors (wife) and I had been talking about urinalysis.  I jinxed myself by saying I wasn't usually on the list, because Friday, I was on the list.

I "failed" my first urinalysis test... because I didn't pee enough!  The worst part of "failing" a urinalysis test is "wasting" pee by not peeing enough.  Fortunately, I had all night to make some pee.  Good times were had by all when I was finally ready.

Teh Jewish Greyhound Friends delivered brownies right before my shift was over, which was awesome!  My, sweet, sweet, relief came early, which I appreciated, and once I got home I was ready for bed....  and then, a stupid motivation streak hit me and I ended up doing the dishes and changing the air filter in my AC unit at midnight:20.  I can't even make this stuff up.  I had to disassemble most of the front of the AC unit to find the filter, but I made it happen.  Phil was like, WTF, it's bedtime, yo.

Once I finally got in the bed, Phil started flipping out because a storm was coming.  He started panting and pacing and a few minutes later I heard the boom of thunder.  Phil actually chose to come lay beside the bed instead of in his bed(s).  I told him he could get in bed with me, but he doesn't like being on the furniture.  /shrug.  By this point it was 1am and I was exhausted since the morning was coming early.

My body woke me up at regular alarm time, and I was like, OH HELL NO! and rolled over and went back to sleep.  That worked out for about an hour before my body was like, Oh, you're too hot?  Guess what, I win, muchacho.  Phil and I got breakfast and after some internetting it was time to get ready to start the day.

First up was heading to GHC for an adoptathon and to help prepare for the GEGR picnic next weekend.  Teh Jewish Greyhound Friends went with me and we didn't really get to do much with the dogs, but we rocked an assembly line stuffing give-away bags for the picnic.

I had planned on picking up Moe's for lunch since I was in the area, but when Teh Singing Cat Lady suggested lunch with her and Teh Singing Podcaster, I was like, YES, KTHX!  We ended up hitting a new mexican restaurant that just opened in town.  We weren't disappointed.  Afterwards, Teh Singing Podcaster needed a haircut, which was conveniently located near a Payless Shoe Source, so Teh Singing Cat Lady and I went shoe hunting for me while Teh Singing Podcaster was getting his hair did.

I acquired 2 new pairs of shoes and we rocked some "awesome" sunglasses (pics/posts to come).  We also hit up Target for a few items we needed, after making a pit stop at the sunglasses wall....  I had to leave because I was supposed to be at the fairgrounds for my first Pets on Wheels volunteer event, and I needed to pick up Phil to go be my accomplice.

We made it to the event right on time and we even got to see our vet (it was an animal fair event) who checked Phil's boo-boos from the dog fight a few weeks ago with the foster and complimented his healing abilities.  We weren't at our booth long before the thunder and the rain started.  The lady that was there with me and I decided to start packing stuff up.  We were ready to go by 4 and since she was taking all the stuff with her, she told me to go ahead and leave.

This thing was so heavy it set off the passenger seat seat belt indicator.

I had some errands to run on base, so I was headed that way when I passed a flower stand that I stopped at.  I noticed this stand before the earth day events a few weeks ago, but couldn't stop.  The flowers were gorgeous and this time I actually stopped!  I got 2 different pots of plants.  One will be going by the front door and the other under the hummingbird feeder.

Teh Jewish Greyhound Friends (wife) suggested I drop Phil off at their place, since they live on base, while I ran my errands, saying that "Gracie wanted to see Phil."  I said, "Sounds like you want to see Phil, so he'll be there in a few minutes!"  I think its totally acceptable to want to hang out with other people's dogs.  NBD.  After Phil was dropped off, I headed to the uniform store to remedy my dress whites situation and to the commissary to pick up groceries all while on my regular Saturday chat with Teh Dad.

I stopped by to pick up Phil and socialized for a little bit before the wall of tiredness hit me.  I invited them over for dinner and stole one of their dogs, Buddy, because he was so excited to leave.  Buddy rarely leaves his Mom's side, so I was impressed as at how well he did without Gracie or his Hu-Mom.  I was home long enough to clean off the table when Teh Jewish Greyhound friends arrived.  Apparently my dining room table is where every item that enters the house must spend time before it can be processed through the system and put away....

While Teh Jewish Greyhound Friend (wife) and I were making dinner, Teh Jewish Greyhound Friend (husband) was unbelievably awesome and weed eated my yard (with the weed eater than Teh Greyhound Neighbors (husband) had dropped off earlier in the day while I was out).  He actually ran out of gas and didn't get to finish the front because the back was so bad!  I let him use my brand new shampoo in exchange.  Not that those things really equate, but there wasn't really anything I could offer in exchange that could even compete with the kindness of him doing my yard work that I've been dreading doing for 2 weeks.  I have vowed that I will NOT let it get that out of control again, so that way I can maintain it myself.

Lets just pause for a minute and talk about how awesome my friends are.  Seriously.
Free weed eater, someone doing my overwhelming yard work for me?  I don't even have the words to thank these guys.  I kinda want to cry because its so nice.

After Teh Jewish Greyhound Friends left, I chatted with Teh Bear and did some laundry while catching up on the internetz that I had missed all day.  I thought about going to bed early but definitely didn't make it... due to a good reason (blogging).

Sunday morning, Phil and I woke up and had breakfast.  Then it was time for church, which I missed last week due to the Color Me Rad 5k.  After a baptism and a special children's performance, I headed to Walmart to pick up a few items.

A few items turn into $90 worth of stuff mostly of that stuff being $15 I spent on plants...  which is a big deal, Gentle Readers, as I have a black thumb.  Proof:

I'm about 100% sure it's NOT supposed to look like that.

This bamboo I've had since I got to MD.  Teh Humanitarian has tried to give it TLC, it just... hates me.  I finally tossed it over the fence, rocks and all.

I came home from my successful Walmart trip and chatted with Teh Bear before he went to work and had lunch.  After he signed off to get ready, I tried to take a nap, but I was unsuccessful, so I got up and went to diggin in the yard.

PSA #1:  I'm a priss.  I do NOT like dirt under my finger nails.  I felt sooo icky!  There were even WORMS.  I know that earth worms are good for flower beds, so I didn't freak out too much about them.

I also did some weeding.  Literal pulling weeds out of the ground.  That was pretty good for my OCD.

PSA #2:  This is my first time ever doing my own yard work.  NO JK.  Teh Dad only let me mow the grass a few times since I only liked to mow the grass in the fastest gear possible.

PSA #3:  Weed eating is hard, ya'll.  Seriously.  I had to read the instructions FOUR times to get how to start the stupid thing (it's gas).

PSA #4:  Outside makes me sneeze wayyyyyy more than inside.

PSA #5:  Don't wear tennis shoes to do yard work when your dog uses the yard to poop.  Just take my word on that, wear some solid (as in with no holes) Crocs.  Rubber shoes are genius for yard work.

I finished planting flowers in the front yard and decided to relocate to the back yard, which needed to be raked after Teh Jewish Greyhound Friends (husband) had weed eated the night prior.  Seriously, it was a jungle out there.  I started raking and less than 5 minutes in, about the time I started feeling a potential blister trying to form on my hand, I gave up and headed to Teh Greyhound Neighbor's house for a tutorial on how to make weed eater gas and to borrow the leaf blower (to clear out the yard).

I'm not actually sure if this belongs to me or not, but it was over grown with weeds,
so I took initiative on the situation.
I planted a hydrangea in the back right (hopefully it will grow, it might have been dead out of the bag),
a random "spring mix" in the right, some pansies in the center, the hyacinths from Easter on the left.  In the very middle, I planted some bulbs that Teh Mom had given me for my birthday in Feb, I have no idea what they are.

The tulip went here.

Random annuals around the tree.

I ended up staying for dinner and socializing, which was cool.  I enjoyed meeting people we had chatted about before.  I finally made it back home and restarted on the yard.  Since I had more gas, I was able to finish weed eating the front yard and I went back over the back yard where the weeds had been laid over.  I raked the rest of the grass out the back gate, planted a few more flowers in the back yard and called it quits due to exhaustion and the smell of gas and knowing there was probably dog poop and/or dirt in my hair.  Please refer to PSA #1.  Sadly, there were no pics of the back yard since it was dark after my shower.  Just take my word for it, there was digging and more dirt under my nails.

I did forget the rest of the bulbs Teh Mom had given me for my birthday, but those will prob get done this week at some point... maybe.

After a shower, exhaustion slammed into me like a Mac truck, but I knew I wasn't done yet.  I still had GEGR foster blogs to make, Teh Blogs to write, and internetz to check.  Once those tasks were complete I was toast.

This week will be an adventure of a different type since I'll be in my "get out of the Navy" class for the entire week, then the GEGR picnic is Saturday annnnnddddd The Color Run in DC is is 7 days!!!!!

WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

PS.  Teh Bear made it to step 8 of 8.... Just sayin'.  /hugegrin

12 May: I can't miss you if you're still here...

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

-snuggles under the Christmas lights
-when Friday was actually Saturday and Saturday was Sunday (Arabic weekends are Fri/Sat, since their holy day is on Friday)
-chocolate martinis, Teh BFF, and Teh ZepZep on Thursday nights (any night really, but Thursday nights were special)
-the mountains
-more than a few inches of snow
-shifting gears (sometimes, not often, just often enough to make me remember that Teh Kaar was different than Yurtle)
-always having someone around that I could tell my secrets to
-Teh Sister answering my text messages
-Teh Sister sending me ridiculous text messages
-playing the baritone
-reading music
-NOT feeling guilty about NOT volunteering
-when I didn't have to worry about my weight, I was just skinny because I was
-going to bed at 3am and waking up whenever I feel like it any day of the week
-having flowers that I didn't have to grow
-being under the water on a day with no current
-the naivety of being young

7 May: On your mark... get set.... over think!

Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of

I am most afraid of starting something for the first time.

Almost debilitating in that I will procrastinate and procrastinate until I can no longer put off whatever it is that I have to do for the first time.

Examples?  Why sure.


PETS ON WHEELS
I decided that I wanted Phil to be a "Pets on Wheels"* dog.  This means that he gets to go to rest homes/assisted living places with me to kinda boost morale.  (Maybe you noticed I'm big on morale boosting?).  I'm supposed to take this quiz to prove that I read the packet along with contact a facility to visit.  The requirement is 1 hour per month.  This is seriously minimal effort for me considering all the GEGR activities I attended in April.  Why haven't I already been on a visit?
-I had to wait on Phil's special Pets on Wheels tag (which has their logo on one side and Phil's name, my name and phone number on the other).  Honestly, Phil doesn't need a tag with my info, he already has one.  Additionally, he's got TWO microchip tags, a GEGR tag, and his rabies tag.  That brings his total "bling" count up to SIX.  I'm going have to get pet insurance to pay for chiropractor visits for Phil due to all the freakin' tags he wears.  I couldn't go on a visit without this stupid "special" tag.  It's like a license or something?  Idk.  I'm only bitter about the tag because Phil already has too many freakin' tags.
-Pets on Wheels prefers volunteers go to locations that are currently "unused" (meaning they don't currently have any volunteers going there).  The closest unused location is 30 minutes away.  I have to call these locations to set up a visit.  Calling strangers isn't one of my favorite things to do.  Additionally, work has been to busy for me to even check my work email.. looking up information and using the phone?  Prob not.
-Phil needs his nails clipped.  This means a trip to Petco.
-Phil needs some grippy shoes things so he doesn't spaz out on the tile floors, which I'm sure is an imminent curse.  This means a trip to Petco.
-A trip to Petco means going to town.  I frequently try to avoid going to town as I spend money there.

*I refuse to use the Pets on Wheels acronym because it's POW.  I do NOT think of pets when I see POW.

WEED EATING
I bought a weed eater because I have a fenced in poop area for Phil.  I wouldn't go so far as to call it a yard, but maybe a patch of grass/weeds.  Well, the weeds are starting to get out of control.  I purchased this contraption the last day that it rained last week (Weds?) so that way I could use it when the grass dried.
-I wanted to let the grass dry for 3 days.
-Well day 3 was the day I drove down to VA Beach for Color Me Rad.
-Day 4 I was tired from the drive back to MD and running.
-Monday was day 5 and it rained on Monday.
-I wasn't sure what to wear for weed eating because word on the street is I'm going to get messy.  (I'd already committed to wearing swim goggles to protect my eyes since I don't own safety goggles and I have some gloves that some movers left)
-I bought extra string for it, but apparently I need an additional head?  What?
-It's still sitting in the box in the living room because I'm almost 99% sure this thing is going to require some assembly and that is overwhelming in addition to having to actually use the blasted thing.
At this point, I do wish it would stop raining so I could just get it over with.

THE FIRST LOAD OF LAUNDRY EACH WEEK
Starting the laundry means committing to doing ALL the laundry.
-Have to gather ALL the laundry, including all the towels around the house (kitchen, bathrooms, etc)
-Do I wash the bedding? (ehhhh, no because making the bed is so hard)
-Does Phil's stuff need to be washed?  (yes, probably)  Are you going to wash it?  (Probably not)
-Is there anything in particular that needs to be washed first?
-Will there be any events which will hinder accomplishing laundry in one day?  If so, will laundry be completed within the weekend?
-Ughhh, why is there a load of laundry in the dryer that I never folded?
-This game sucks, blogging is so much easier and I don't have to even get up and do anything.  YAY for lots of clothes and enough work socks and undershirts to last almost 2 weeks!


The worst part of this fear is that I always have such a great feeling of satisfaction once its complete.  I know I will feel good after, like when I go for a run, I always feel good after.  I just have to get the motivation to start.  I'm not so good at starting.

One of my English teachers in high school realized this about me.  This was in relation to writing a paper, but I realized down the road that it really applied to many aspects of my life.  I was sitting at my desk, thinking and thinking and thinking about what to write.  I couldn't figure out how to start the introduction paragraph because I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say.

She said to me, "Just start it.  Just start writing what you want to say and go back after you're done and write the beginning since you'll have exactly what you need to write a good introduction!"

She is obviously a genius.  She probably knew that.  She was actually board certified, so, obviously someone else knew it too.

So maybe my new motto should be:

  JUST START IT!