2022 Review

2022 was hard.

There I said it.

2022 was a year I'd prefer to not review, in fact.  I've been staring at this screen for hours and not putting words on the screen because I'd prefer to not feel those feelings again.  I'd prefer to put all the things in their tiny boxes and only pull down the good tiny boxes. But that is not the purpose of a year end review.  I'd say it's for showing you all the things we did this year, but this year consisted of 3 main themes: dogs, working out (running/crossfit), and struggles.  Sometimes those 3 things even overlapped, an actual trifecta, if you will.

2021 was full of new adventures in MD.  There were struggles and achievements, but the rollercoaster didn't feel 2022 drastic.  2022 feels like I should have taken some motion sickness medication before the ride started.  2022 is full of dirty laundry that doesn't need to be aired on a public platform and so I try to focus on all the other things, the literal running away from my problems, instead of focusing on the negative things.

January started off just fine.  It snowed, there were dog snugs, 2022 began without a hitch.

February is birthday month and Teh German came through with a spa day for us and I may have one upped him with a trip to Vegas (for a race), where I bought him a Porsche driving experience and took him to both the Western and Southern rim of the Grand Canyon.  Also, I had my hairs did and then I had a stupid bang (yes singular because it wasn't like a full fray it was only a tiny section of like 20 hairs) from breakage and I really hated it.

March is when the tribulations really began.  Our basement flooded (again) and no one could figure out why it was flooding.  There was also running and that bang.  We got some estimates for having a deck built, butttt then the whole sewer thing deterred that good idea.

April is when we learned that the sewer line that runs from our house to the public line had been BORED through and it wasn't actually connected to the public system, so really we'd been fertilizing the yard since whenever that had happened.  We had to pay for the repairs and we were told we'd get all the money back.... eventually.  Our fence was also damaged by the neighbor's landscapers AND one of the gates broke because of a windstorm.  All things that had to be repaired.  Which means people had to be contacted and harassed.  Dislike.  Also, that bang was now in my eyes.

May included a trip to "DC Disneyland" aka the Mormon temple which is opened every 50 years to the public, so that was kinda cool and a few races and lots of dog snugs.  Also, our garage started leaking in earnest.  Leaking to the point of needing repairs.. but oh yeah, we'd spent all our funds on fixing the sewer line that wasn't our fault.  Jokes about the bang started.  I threatened to just cut it off.

June was when the rollercoaster started picking up speed.  There was running and a visit from Teh BFF and my first ever Pride parade and a Starset concert.. but the worst part was having to let Sandra Dee go.  It was her time and we got 2 very unexpected years with her, but it hurt the MOST.  Like, I knew it was the right thing and I'm still not over it.  To the point that I put in a rescue application with the local Wolfhound group last week.

July was fireworks, dog sitting (and subsequent dog drama that has caused continuous relationship strife), Teh Bestie's bday celebration, rage job applications, and a trip to NC where I was able to spend a good day with my Granny (which I didn't know at the time was "a good day" and now I treasure it even more), a hike with Teh BFF while I was at home, home, and my first Drum Corps International show.  Like the predictable woman I am, when major life changes started happening, I cut my hair.  This mostly solved the bang problem.

August included a trip to Wisconsin to deliver Spinny Penny and buy all the cheese, a trip to WV to do some running in the woods, a trip to Oregon for more running, my first mammogram because I found a lump, a day-drinking bday celebration, lots of dog sitting, and finding out my Granny is actually very sick.

September, I started a new job, I got covid (literally couldn't go to my new job on the first day because I had covid and I also missed a race), did the DC Bike Ride, did some dog sitting, went to our first Orioles game, and ran 2 Ragnars. Also, solved a financial mystery that had been plaguing me for months (nope, not the sewer line repayment, but was still in contact with those people too) that gave me a lot of feelings. 

October was running and dogs and going into the office and getting injured while running.  It was fucking terrible being injured.  More dealing with sewer things.  Lots of unresolved feelings and rage about the financial mystery.

November was injury recovery, leaves, visiting the Hirshhorn museum, our 5 year anniversary, the birth of my new favorite person: my niece, getting to see Pucifer at the Warner Theater, Thanksgiving, and finally we wrapped up the month by cashing the reimbursement check for the sewer line repair.  After months and months and months (since May) of me having to send regular emails "regarding the status of this issue", I finally got some traction in Sept/Oct when I spoke with their insurance broker.  It was a sweet relief.

December held my 30th and 31st/final races of the year, Christmas adventures in Baltimore (the market and holiday lights), dog sitting, and throwing out my back.  And soon will be Crimmus (as Teh German has taken to saying) and then New Years Eve/Day.

I'd share photos, but it's a lot.  I'm tired and I looked through the monthly photo albums to jog my memory to actually write all this.. and also I don't want to have feelings.  Ironically, I was referred to and made a psychologist appointment for later this week.  Now that we've been repaid for the sewer repairs, we get to turn our attention on fixing the garage, which is proving difficult because no one seems to want to do the work and if they are willing, they want to charge us $40,000. Kthxnope.

When I write it all out, it doesn't seem like 2022 was such a bad year.  I did many fun things: ALL THE RUNNING!  All the workouts!  So much travels!  

But 2022 feels HEAVY in a way that 2021 felt shiny and new.  Maybe it's the lack of processing all the things, maybe it's grief, maybe it's the relationships that have irrevocably altered, maybe it's the decision to stay, even if walking away was the easier option (that is not a suicide reference, but it is purposely vague sorry not sorry), maybe it's because I've felt responsible for so many things that I'm finally willing to walk away from because I'm tired.  I'm not really sure.  But I know a shift is coming (has been coming?) and I'm ready to close the book on the 2022 chronicles. 

Dear Muppet,

I'd give anything for another one of your kisses or for you to drag me down the driveway again at a full sprint or to come into the living room and see you huffing and stomping because Pax was in your spot or for you to just be sitting on the couch.  You changed my life in ways I didn't see until it was over and now I can't unsee how you broke me open.  I miss you my bestest Wuffie-Wuffs and I hope there's not a single shuffle happening anymore.  -Yer Mahm.

Five on Friday #244

EINS - Random Shit

Unless I really like you, if you ask me "When are you moving out?" I will literally walk away from you... especially if I've told you we close on 30 OCT.  This is my fucking house until then.  MINE.  No you may not come in the day prior to closing and set up your wifi.  GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT.

Who the fuck asks if they can come in the day prior to do move-in things?  How fucking rude.  Again, these are all things I'd never ask anyone for if I was buying their house.  Does it suck to have to wait? 100% yes.  Is that the way it fucking works?  100% yes.  I couldn't even get estimates for a fence for our house until we closed.  Contractors wouldn't come out once they heard Dan Ryan still owned the house.  It was over 3 weeks after we closed that our fence was put in, because even though we got someone to come do an estimate, NO paperwork could be filed until we closed and that shit takes time.

So guess fucking what.  We had to wait.  YOU WILL ALSO WAIT.
Later our realtor said she thinks maybe they have kids that are doing virtual school and I should have said, "They still have THEIR HOUSE with THEIR INTERNET.  What the fuck is the problem?"  Instead, I said, "No, they cannot come early to set up wifi that only take 20 minutes."

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I'd say moving on, but definitely didn't happen.

The above situation later escalated QUICKLY when our agent said the buyers were no longer ok with us repairing the drip pan because it might void their home warranty that we purchased for them.  She sent me some image of the warranty details with the line regarding the "condensation unit pad" being highlighted.

Yall, I'm not a fucking genius, but "condensation unit pad" and "drip pan" don't sound the same.  Soooo, I took to the googly and searched for "condensation unit pad" because I've seen a drip pan.  It's the fucking slab under the outside HVAC unit.  So NO WHERE did the warranty say anything about the drip/drain pan. 

During this text exchange, Teh German pulled out his inner Papa G and said it was very unprofessional to be texting about all these matters.  This was all fine until SHE CALLED ME because her texting was unprofessional.  I was ready to fucking kill him.  And of course, he's still upstairs working so it wasn't like I could go throw my phone at his head (I didn't want to be the subject of scorn, kthx).  You see, Teh German has been handling many of the text situations because he knows our agent makes me get my hackles up.  Just seeing the notification that I have a text from her makes me go rigid and my shoulders rise to my ears and I'm instantly angry.  So that has been a nice reprieve that he just handles it, usually while also texting me (since we're both in our work spaces which are not within speaking distance).

So she calls me to discuss this situation.  She offers to pay for a professional to come out and inspect our repair work.  I said that was fine, but what if the professional said it wasn't fine.  Then I'd already be out what I'd spent to repair it and my time fixing it, so there was NO WAY I'd be replacing it at that point. 

But the underlying problem was this:
EVERYONE ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT stating that we could repair it and it was fine.

Let me reiterate any part of that statement that was unclear: THE BUYERS ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT REGARDING THIS DECISION.  THE SELLERS (us) HAD AGREED TO THE DECISION AND SIGNED A CONTRACT STATING SUCH.

To come back after the fact when you have regrets and try to renegotiate?  AW HELL NO.
Maybe this is one of those "just the way things are", but based on the reactions of individuals I was sharing this drama with, it is not, this is just actual fuckary.

I explained that when we agreed to the last contract, it was because we were done with negotiating.  I agreed to selling our washer/dryer for cheaper and cleaning the carpets and repairing the drip pan to be done with negotiating.  I stated that we had been nice and flexible about everything to this point.  We let them come view the house a 2nd time (even after they put in their offer (still weird)), we are leaving them a list of apps for the smart home things, we are leaving all the documentation associated with anything related to the house, we had agreed to do the repairs the inspector THEY HIRED had suggested we do, we sold our washer/dryer to them so they didn't have to wait on something that was backordered, we are leaving all the etc house maintenance/repair things (extra carpet, paint, trim), we let in BOTH their appraisal persons after they switched lenders for the 3rd time, and we were willing to renegotiate the contract the first time around without issue, but I (we) were DONE.  They are asking for shit I'd NEVER ask for as a buyer.  After my offer was accepted and the terms were agreed on, that's that.  As a buyer, I wait for closing, that's how it works.  I would never try to renegotiate terms that had already been agreed on and a contract had been SIGNED.  That's not how it works.  Personally, I feel like they are trying to put us out of our home, WHICH IS STILL IS, with all these requests. 

I think it was when I told our agent, verbatim, "I leave for Barbados on the 17th.  If anyone dares comes at me with ANYTHING related to negotiating or house selling or when I'm moving out, I will call their agent, whose card is on my island, and tell her and her clients to go fuck themselves," that she understood I was DONE with this shit. 

Ultimately, the agents agreed to split the cost of replacing the drip pan themselves.  I'm sure that'll be rough to pay with the $18k they are splitting from our sale.

As I told Teh Bestie, I don't HAVE to sell my house.  I'm not in a hurry.  Would it be nice to move forward?  Yes.  But I'm 

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2020, the year I said, FUCK YOU to all irritants tags.

For real.  From my wash cloths (why did I even leave tags on those anyways?) to my shirts.  If it has a tag that won't lay flat or irritates me in any way, IT FUCKING GOES.  It's a release every time I cut one off or rip it out.  Like my brain sighs. 

And I do question why I've always left the tags.  For my clothes it is so I can go back and reference what size the item was if I like the way it fit and I order another from the same brand.  As for linens/towels/etc.  I have NO idea.

Actually, I have a figment of an idea.  When I was a kid, I had a comforter with a tag on it that said, "ONLY TO BE REMOVED BY CONSUMER," and I was like 8 or something and I knew I wasn't "CONSUMER" (nor did I know what "consumer" was).  That line was followed by, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law," which I assessed to mean, I'd go to jail for removing the tag.  And so, I just dealt with the annoying ass tag and used it as a means of determining which end was "up" (which is also absolutely ludacris in relation to a blanket that can be flipped and flopped).

But it is so liberating to be free of itchy/annoying tags!

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Dear Google,
Ludacris was a WORD before it was a NAME.  GTFO of here with your suggestion to capitalize the word so it is spelled correctly. DAFUQ is wrong with you?

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I did my first GEGR Applicant interview(s) this weekend and it was awesome.  I would totally do it again, even though it required effort and me talking to strangers.  The family I interviewed totally needs a greyhound and I want to be their friends, not just because the greyhound thing, but also because they are runners and they were awesome when I spoke with them.

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I posted that link about viewing Blogger with the legacy view last week.. and now it no longer works.  FUCK YOU BLOGGER.

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Oh, you guys thought the house strife was over for the week?

IT WAS FUCKING NOT.

After dealing with the drip pan debacle, we were informed that the house only appraised at 298k.  I mean, we weren't far off asking for 300k, in that regard, and people pay over appraisal value all the time, but they wanted us to cover 6k of their closing costs and our agent suggested we up the price to 304k and then it was only 2k coming out of our pockets and they'd pay the 4k on the backend of their home loan (i.e. shit that is not my fucking problem).

Our agent was angry about it and challenged it and we've yet to hear back from the bank, despite being told we'd know by Thursday.  Our agent claims that they used comps that were not similar to our house, which is logical.  

In various conversations with multiple people, 4 individuals had suggested that the bank didn't want them to get the loan and informed said appraiser of such information and thus the appraisal value being what it is.  This was after we learned that the buyers couldn't afford to pay ANY amount of money out of pocket.  Later, our agent informed us of different details (as she has done multiple times throughout this whole fucking disaster), but our opinions were not changed.

It was a hard discussion to have, but Teh German and I talked about our bottom line.  We have never wanted to pay their closing costs, but swallowed the "that's just how it is" pill with the cost adjustment.  I won't even lie, I'm the queen of petty hill right now because of the shit that went down on Monday over a signed motherfucking contract, and I'm not overly sympathetic to your situation when..

ONE- We will be buying our own house in the next few months.  I NEED MY FUCKING MONEY.  Yes, it's "only" a "few" thousand dollars, compared to whatever the total number is we walk away with, but the place we are moving to is DOUBLE the price of Charleston, that is not an exaggeration, that is not me being dramatic, that is the TRUTH.  

TWO- I refuse to pay you to buy my stuff.  That's not how selling things fucking works, no matter what any sales(wo)man tells me.  I learned that lesson the hard way when selling my Civic in Bahrain and the guy tried to tell me I was paying for his car insurance for the upcoming year (since it had to be paid in advance) as we were on our way to handle the paperwork at the Bahrain DMV equivalent and I absolutely refused.  Then he couldn't scramble to get all the money and I ended up having to pay for some of his insurance because otherwise I'd be stuck with a car that I couldn't get back to the US since that ship had sailed (literally).

THREE- If you can't afford something, i.e. a 300k house, you shouldn't be buying it.  This IS what I know about how this whole house buying process works...  If you are in the market for a house, you should have a down-payment or an option for the least amount of penalty for the least amount of money down.  If you are penalized in all the ways because you can't afford a down-payment, then it is not time.  Save some money, come back to the table later.  In addition to not having a down-payment and then having ZERO dollars to put down towards the closing costs and expecting the seller to pay them for you/have to accept a higher price to have them covered on your loan?  UNACCEPTABLE.  

I say all these things having only ever purchased new construction.  There was NO negotiation.  We covered ALL the costs.  So this idea of the seller covering the buyer's costs absolutely incenses me.

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Oh yeah.. and it gets even better.  Within a few hours of our agent informing us the appraisal value was lower than the agreed upon price, I started receiving emails from a lawyer and Navy Federal congratulating us on being under contract for the house.

The phone conversation I had went like this:

Me: Hello, this is Megan.
Navy Fed Person: Hi, Ms. [Lastname], this is blah blah from Navy Fed and we heard that your house is under contract, congratulations!

Me: Uhhh.. awkward since we were just informed that the house didn't appraise at our agreed on price and now we're having to renegotiate this crap.

Navy Fed Person: Uhhh.

Me: Yeah, this isn't a good time.

Navy Fed Person: Ok, I can just email you!

Me: That's probably best.

Megan, being Queen of the Awkward, since 1986.

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Jamie the Very Worst (formerly: Missionary) posted something in September that popped up on my Feedly and when I went to her site to reference it, it didn't exist.  This makes me extremely sad because the post was absolutely everything I didn't know I needed and I wanted to share it, but it doesn't actually exist on the internet.  Well, it does, but only because I emailed it to myself from my Feedly, but I can't actually share the link and tell you to read it because it's not on her site and I'm not going to post it here because that's stealing and I'm not down with that.  I keep hoping it will eventually get posted on her site, but I haven't seen it yet and that makes me sad.

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I've been incrdibly stupid this week.  That's not a euphimism for anything, it's the truth.  Here's the situations that helped make this assessment accurate:

Monday morning: 

I ordered new collars for Sandy for her birthday (Oct 12th) and they arrived last week.  I put them on her Monday since I had given her a bath... but her martingale wouldn't fit, despite my adjustments.  I messaged the seller to explain that I loved the collars, but one wouldn't fit and she said, the collars are the same size, then started to explain the process of adjusting them... and I realized I hadn't adjusted the collar to make it bigger... but smaller.

Yall, I've been adjusting dog collars for a REALLY LONG TIME.  I didn't even think to go the other way.  /facepalm times infinity.

Monday evening: 

While talking to my GEGR interviewee, he said, "My wife is a cancer."  My brain immediately was like, "WTF?  Is she trying to KILL him?  Who says that about their spouse!?!"  And then I tuned back in to hear him saying, "She's loyal and caring and loving..." and I interrupted with a, "OMG, I GET IT!  You mean astrology cancer, not abnormal cell growth cancer!"  He was so stunned and I was laughing so hard and we cackled together.

Tuesday at lunch:

I decided to make dinner for lunch so I didn't have to cook dinner, this is a new thing we've been doing.  I like it.  Anyways, I was cooking a PF Chang's frozen bag dinner and couldn't figure out why the food wasn't cooking properly.  Then I realized.. I was using the double burner.. for a triple burner pan.  

Yall, Jesus needed to take my wheel.  I was a mess.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-all the packing things.  Ugh.  At least the boxes were free.
-new running shoes.  My knees were hurting, I couldn't do it anymore.

-Allie Brosh's new book, which I would have preordered if she hadn't already fucked me once, so I didn't preorder it this time, just in case it didn't come out... again.

-More packing shit.

-Travel meals

-dog/political shirt

-Grocery stuff in MD for taco soup.

-Halls

DREI - From My Phone Shit

This toy did not make it.

I won 3rd place during my last Former Company Disney Trivia night and winners received a mask with their favorite character.  I was super pumped about it, until I put on the mask and realized how bad it sucks.  Siiiiigh..

The dog cabinet was emptied to make the journey up to MD.

The temp when I arrived to MD.
(insert all the praise hands emojis here)

First official day working in the office... even though it was only for a few hours and then I went home and did more work things.

DOGS.

The cutest head tilt.

How is she comfortable?  One will never know.

Shortly thereafter followed by this position, which included a head slamming against the floor.

This guy only got ONE bully stick and he was upset about it, so he came to me for consoling.

The cutest little Monkey-Doodle you ever did see.

When ALL the girls HAVE to sit together.  Preferably ON TOP of each other.
Facepalm for days.

This goof.  He makes me lol.

Sometimes, you are your Wuff's chair.

Bitches on the move!

New neighborhood patrol duties!

Old lady snoozes.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

BE FUCKING BETTER.
I said this prior to COVID.
I'll continue to say it now.
BE BETTER.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Being so emotionally drained by Monday's re-negotiation debacle that the punches from later in the week were barely nudges.
2. Being on the same page with Teh German and talks after the lights are out.
3. Alexa playing certain songs on repeat without judgment.  That bitch still can't hear tho.
4. A solid audiobook for my drive to MD.
5. Going into the office and getting to meet 2 of my coworkers face to face.  It's the little things these days.
6. A Christmas amount of packages waiting for my arrival in MD (my running shoes and book and new employee mail things).
7. Cute dogs.
8. Packing 4 boxes.
9. #BarometerHead meds kicking in quickly (by quickly, I mean, I could minimally function within the hour).
10. Getting the beasts moved up to MD.  As sad as I will be to drive away without my fur-therapy, I know that it will be easier this way.

Happy Friday Saturday, Gentle Readers.

Five on Friday #243

EINS - Random Shit

Steph posted this last week and it's everything I haven't been able to put into words for YEARS.

What exactly do we mean when we say Make America Great Again? To return to our lips not coming near the same water fountains, our asses not sitting on the same seats, our kids not going to the same schools, our neighborhoods staying lily white, red lining, Jim Crow, Black bodies being used and discarded, Black labor being valued differently? Was America great in those times? What time do we want to go back to when America was great? The entire time we've been racist since the beginning? The incredible horror we've inflicted on the native people and the land? The time when we fought World War II against fascism? Wait, people are against Antifa now, which essentially means being in support of fascism, so that can't be right. It seems like we want to go back to women dying from back alley abortions too. Is that the time? All of the above times? I don't have enough expletives right now. And to quote something I saw on the Internet last night, fuck off I'm not leaving just because it's unjust and fucked up here. There is work to be done. We cannot change the past but we sure as FUCK should not be going back to any time in it because America was NEVER great for ALL of her people. Act right and stop saying Make America Great Again. Your racism is showing. Work to build a better tomorrow for EVERYONE instead. No fucking exceptions. To see how many white people are invested in upholding this system that disproportionately benefits them, read any comment section on the Internet. The longer we hold on to old ways designed to keep a foot on the neck of Black people (read a book, the criminal justice system was literally designed to do this, and modern day police themselves were born from slave catchers-we need to start ENTIRELY OVER), the more the unrest grows and makes everyone less safe. Change is needed for the well being of Black people, brown people, white people, and police of every color.

THIS.  ALL OF THE THIS.

YOUR RACISM IS SHOWING. 

There's nothing you can say to change my mind on this.  There is no meme you can share to make me laugh at this.  And if you support a president who encourages the division of a nation and enables some to openly air their racist opinions and hatred, then you are part of the problem.  This is me saying if you vote for Trump in 2020, you're a racist.  Maybe it wasn't super clear in 2016, but it's super clear now and there is absolutely ZERO excuse.

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Apparently, getting older and being an adult means waking up earlier to do shit.  And I don't mean like work shit, I mean like personal shit.  I.e.: Exercise, chores, bathe the dogs.  Things that you know have to be accomplished, but also know that at the end of the day, you do not want to deal with it.

It's crazy how much shit I sometimes accomplish before I sit down at my desk at 0830 (sometimes earlier, sometimes later, get up off me) to start doing work things.

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If you hate new Blogger and need Legacy for your sanity, let me help you.

1. Copy this link into the address bar:
   https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=#######&useLegacyBlogger=true#allposts
2. In another tab, sign into Blogger.  In the address bar, copy that super long number at the end of the URL.  
3. Replace the ###### with that super long number you just copied.
4. Hit enter/return.

You are welcome.  I do not know how long this leet hack will work, but you better believe I'll be using it for as long as possible.  Also, fuck the new template.

Hate, hate, hate.  Loathe entirely.

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All yall iOS-ers who just had your eyes opened to the marvel of widgets are making me LOL.  Android has had widgets forever.  They are fabulous.  Welcome to like.. 2010 or something.

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I didn't watch the debate.  I have ZERO regrets.  My mental health and good sleeps are way more important to me than watching something I can skim highlights about the next day if I choose to.  I mostly chose NOT to.  I'm not sorry.  I didn't anticipate anything significant or life changing would come out of the debate and it was exactly the horse and pony show that it was expected to be, based on what I saw online the following morning.

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I have 3 different banks that I use.  It's stupid, but I'm stubborn.  I got paid at some point and decided to set up my allotments and decided to switch my savings account bank money to the same bank we have the house account with.  This is all fun and games until I'm trying to move money between accounts.

So anyways, now I have FOUR PayPal accounts, ya know, in case you needed to confirm that I am truly, 100% ridiculous.  Also, setting up new accounts takes time and Jesus needed to take the wheel on that since I'm super impatient.  So I put in no less than 20949293492 confirmation numbers and still I could not transfer money.  Also, the House account bank created 2 checking accounts from my one request and when I called to get one closed I was told I'd have to call back after 24 hours since the system needs time to process.  /facepalmfordays.

I still haven't been able to successfully transfer the money from Paypal into the new account, but it's a work in progress.  Really, why is this so difficult?  And I could have paid for a wire transfer of all the funds, but why deal with that when I can do it for free between my 6 millionty Paypal accounts?

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Look, Gentle Readers, I have a SERIOUS problem with using the last of anything.  I have trained myself to replace things before we get to the last one of anything so that way we don't run out of things.  This is not a good method when you are moving.  This way ensures you have more shit to move and that's really the pits.

So I went to the grocery store to pick up a few necessities like eggs, which I eat for breakfast, ok, gosh.. and some Halloween candy to be used for smores instead of just having chocolate bars.  There were so many items I was like, Oo I could pick up this and this and this and had to FORCE myself NOT to grab those items.  Transition is hard.

In addition to saying no at the grocery store, I've been telling myself no about picking up food when I'm out of the house because I'm always tempted when I leave the house to "treat myself".  Not only did we have leftovers at home since I'd cooked consistently this week and it was actually pretty good, but eating out means leftovers last longer, which means I don't need to cook as much, which means food is in our house still when we move out.

Soooo, in making an effort NOT to eat out as a "get out of the house, treat yoself", I am in turn, forcing myself to 1- save money, 2- eat the food at home, 3- forcing myself to cook, all of which means that there will be less food in the house to transport when we finally leave.  It's a long and winding road, thanks for taking it with me.

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When your Bestie asks you to pick up some Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer for her from the outlet before you leave Charleston and you go to the website and see they offer things online and then you both go down a rabbit hole, and you finally have this exchange:

We love who we love, loooool.

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It's a common cybersecurity mechanism to lock a computer after there is no activity for a certain period of time.  This, unfortunately, makes you go offline.  Soooo.. I've learned to play YouTube videos when I am AFK so I do not go offline when my computer locks.  This wouldn't be an issue if Skype for Business wasn't the way it is and/or if I could download it for my phone and actually be able to sign in.

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Teh German did a thing!

With the money he made from selling Suzi and the Bobber and the former trailer, Teh German upgraded Teh Ville with a new covered trailer!  This will make hauling the bikes MUCH better because we won't be AS paranoid that someone is going to steal them AND if we go somewhere there is no covered storage, we will have brought our own covered storage with us.

IN ADDITION... the trailer will be used for storage purposes while we are living with Teh Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass.  This is a decision Teh German has been researching for quite a while now, so him finally pulling the trigger is nice.

I also want to note that he had me come outside to "help" him back it inside the fence and he managed to get it in on the FIRST try.  The only assistance I really offered was telling him when to stop backing up so he didn't run over the HVAC.

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I was about to start researching where to purchase moving boxes and did a quick marketplace search (on Teh German's acct, don't be foolish) and saw that someone had posted a LOT of boxes outside of a business for freeizzle within the hour.  You better bet I high-tailed it right the fuck over there and filled up Willow like a boss.

Teh German informed me that they are kinda small and I explained to him the larger the box the heavier it is to move.  Also, most of these boxes are the same size, which is super helpful when it comes time to Tetris the shit out of the POD.

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Speaking of the POD.  It arrived today.

Teh German and I both watched with wonder while the POD was unloaded off the truck with a portable crane which almost literally blew our minds.  We had been curious how it was going to be moved and we found out.  Also, how cool is a portable crane?  Engineering is marvelous!

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Pulled out my tech writer skillz to create a standard document for the GEGR application reviewers to fill out since the current process is a bit finicky.  AND THEN my people let me down and didn't even seem to care that I did it so fabulously!  Siiiiiiiiiigh.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I won't lie.  It felt good to do that kind of editing.

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I've been given some long term research goals for our department.  It's kinda scary because it's not a subject I'm deeply educated in so it will require some learning.  But at the same time, it is a SUPER interesting subject for me, so that shouldn't be difficult.

Also, I'm that nerd that is legitimately interested in data and making it work for the user.  I get EXCITED about the data and learning it and using it and I really think my new coworkers underestimated my passion.  While training with one of my coworkers this week, I explained to him that I really enjoyed learning about the stuff he works on and that I wasn't even kissing his ass, I had a REAL interest in the system and making it better and trying to find ways to implement the suggestions he makes since he's the primary user who manipulates the data.

Also, I discovered a data dictionary Thursday and it details all the attributes in the key tables and I almost jizzed my pants I was so jazzed about it.  If none of that meant anything to you, let me translate: I found some nerdy shit that made me excited.

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Because of all the weird race deferrals, I have NO idea what races I'm still signed up for or what has been deferred.  Particularly all of the Rock n Roll races I signed up for, which is super annoying since that was a LOT of dollas.

Also, I had to give my running spreadsheet a facelift since I will no longer be in Charleston next year for local races, I went ahead and deleted those that were tentative sign ups.  I'll be seeking out DC/MD races, if they are held.

This is all because Charleston Marathon announced that the race in January will be virtual.  This makes me happy and sad.  Happy that I won't have to coordinate coming back for the race, sad because I won't have a reason to come to CHS for the race.  BOOOOOOOOO.  Also, I'm not overly excited about the medal or the rest of the package.  They are including a River Dogs (baseball) ticket.  Guess what I'll never fucking use.  A baseball ticket.  Ugh.

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My knees have started to hurt when I run.  Any distance.  This is an indicator that I need new running shoes.  Things I do not want to have to buy: New running shoes.  It feels like I just bought new running shoes... and then I remember that I ran almost 100 miles in June and that kinda explains why I might need new shoes.  Le siiiiiigh.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Dog shampoo for Sandy... again
-Dog food when I realized my autoship was delayed because my scheduling considerations were unrealistic
-Willow maintenance
-minimal groceries.  Absolute necessities: eggs and candy for the gathering on Saturday.
-Thanksgiving day 5k with Teh Bestie and Teh MD Native.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

When your Bestie goes AWOL and Googly says she's at home and she's not responding to any of your correspondence (work emails or texts) and so you message her on the hour for a while, then every few hours.. and then you finally decide that if she doesn't respond by dinnertime, you'll reach out to her people because ZERO TO DOOM is literally the way my brain works.

Full Paper Jacket for my lady bits appointment.
Also, if you are one of those people who is miserable and shy about getting your privates medically inspected, it's time to get over it.  Your business ain't nothin' they ain't seen before.  Slide all the way down and spread em and get it over with while laughing because life is short and ain't nobody got time for unnecessary misery.

Someone is texting my work phone like they know me.
They do not know me, nor do I know them.
And now it's been so long that I don't know how to tell them that I am not the person they are looking for.
Also, what horrible person didn't tell them that they changed their number if they were close enough to get relative updates?!

VIER - Dogs (aka I don't feel like searching the internet cesspool for entertainment)

He's so goofy/

Office situation: Meri on the couch, Sandy on the bed, Pax on a couch

This makes me tense up every time (because I'm always afraid Meri is gonna be snarky) but it melts my heart so much.

How to lure an old lady into eating her noms.

A day in the life of Paximoose:

For real, all of ^^ those photos were from the same day.  He, truly, wants you to understand how hard his life is.  The ruffest of the RUFF!

Be still...

...my heart.

When Meri steals your regular spot and you're forced to snuggle with Mahm and Mahm is afraid she's going to die on the couch because she refuses to get up until after you do and you're definitely not getting up.

Friday morning office situation. /swoon.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Free motherfuckin' boxes.  
2. 2 runs this week, which also meant 2 dog walking sessions this week.
3. Sandy RUNNING ME 1/3 of her route home.  She'd have ran me 1/2 of the route if I had been able to keep up with her galloping, but it was just too much.
4. That salmon I cooked on Tuesday.  It was so delicious and teleworking = heating up fish leftovers and no one bitching about it.
5. Getting assigned my first GEGR application to process.
6. NOT watching the debate.
7. Hosting a gathering.  Yes, even though it's during a pandemic.  I'm mildly stressed about that, but the payoff will be that we get to see our people before we leave.
8. NOT eating out despite many opportunities.  1- we're going out this weekend.  2- forced to cook.  3- $$ saved.  #AdultingFuckingMaster
9. Scheduling dinners with people who we won't see on Saturday.
10. Leftover birthday cake from Meri's birthday last weekend with lemon icing.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers!

Five on Friday #242

EINS - Random Shit

If I get a bill for $10 from your office for medical treatment performed TWO YEARS ago, I am less likely to be pleasant when I have to pay it.  TWO FUCKING YEARS.  $10.  Like you couldn't just write that off?  Go fuck yourself.  Worse is that it wasn't even for a fucking procedure, it was just a sit and chat to discuss issues.  This is after you already billed me in May for $30 and I paid it without being a bitch.  Also?  Fuck shitty US health insurance.

I could get on my soapbox about how I'm lucky I am able to afford my medical expenses and how there are people out there that cannot afford to be nickled and dimed for an office visit, but I will not.

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In that same vein, my new health insurance card FINALLY arrived, coincidentally on the same day that I took my last hot flashes pill.  Called "the Walmarts", had the script re-refilled, headed to the store after a while to pick up the items on the grocery list and pick up my meds.  I went by the pharmacy to pick it up and I didn't have to sign anything and was preparing to get out my card and I asked how much it was and the lady said there was NO CHARGE and I almost peed my pants I was so excited.

I'm used to paying $25 a month and that's with the manufacturer coupon since my prior health insurance was (apparently) rather crappy and wouldn't cover the medication.  3 months (with insurance) would have been $350ish and I refused to pay that, but the manufacturer was actually refusing to let me use the coupon when I went to refill the medication in August because my insurance company was not paying enough on the medication.  So I was used to paying $75 per 3 months.  Zero dollars definitely floated my boat.

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Sold (everything we listed):
-House
-Loft couches
-Entire master bedroom set
-Lamps
-Teh German's Bobber bike

-End tables

-Teh German's Suzuki bike (white)

I'm NOT sad to see the master bedroom suite go.  That headboard was an absolute monster to move every.single.time.  It was heavy and awkward and huge and we gained a significant amount of square footage in our already huge master bedroom by getting rid of that bed.  Considering that we are planning on downsizing for the next house, it was like a weight off of my shoulders to get rid of that entire suite.  It fit my needs when I bought it and apparently having all that storage really enabled my hoarding tendencies (inherited from Teh Dad).

In my defense, we had 3 queen size beds in this house and when I emptied out the drawers I unearthed at least ELEVEN sets of sheets.  Granted, that entails a warm set and cool set for each bed, but that's 6 sets of sheets and that's still not absolutely required as the 3rd bed was only used TWICE while we were in this house.  So I purged and selected the sets I will keep (5, as we will have a guest room at the next house and we still have 2 queen size mattresses unless I decide to get rid of the guest room mattress that Phil/Meri/Pax have put holes in, even though it doesn't affect the sleepability (that's a word now, don't look it up), it definitely makes the mattress look extra shitty).

To the twat who only wanted the 2 end tables and played me into separating the set for the 2 end tables and the chest of drawers that you "coincidentally" couldn't fit into your car but made sure to tell me, "If someone else comes along and wants this piece, it's fine."  Go fuck yourself.  The situation worked out, but still, fuck you for being the way you are and taking advantage of someone being nice.  It was me, I was being nice.  I didn't even know what you were doing until it was too late.  This is why I hate everyone. 

This move is about lightening the load.
I am not fucking sorry a little bit.
Also, someone please remind me of this when I start buying shit for the next house.

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I think my realtor told our buyers they shouldn't come to the inspection (because we work from home) and then had to roll that back after I told her, "If my day is going to be a royally interrupted in the middle of it, it needs to all happen at once."  Unfortunate for them because they had also asked to see the house again this weekend.  I figured if they came to the inspection, a weekend visit wouldn't be necessary.  The buyers didn't show up to the inspection.  Guess who isn't in the mood to vacate her home with her entire farm for the buyers to come and peruse this weekend?  THIS GIRL!

It would be one thing if they wanted to come while we're home and I wouldn't have to leave with the dogs.  That's cool with me.  Come over, chat with us, we can get to know each other or whatever.  I'm cool with doing things NOT "how they are always done".  But asking me to pack up my entire herd for you to come and just reassure yourself that you're happy with your purchase?  No thanks.

Obviously, I'm the weirdest home seller ever.  That's what I've decided.
Also, my realtor thinking she knows me and spouting shit off before she even asks me?  She needs to learn some thing quick.  I'm a wild card.  You don't know me.  If you are expecting me to do something, you're probably wrong unless you've known me for a REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME.  And she don't.

It annoys me that we have to have these hired middle (wo)men for home buying/selling.  It also annoys me that the buyer and seller rarely get to know each other.  I have pertinent knowledge about this super huge thing you are about to buy from me and I want to share that knowledge with you, but for some reason, we're expected NOT to talk about anything ever and just let the transaction happen?  It's awkward and weird to me.  I, obviously, hate everything about this entire process and I'm sure home buying will be equally painful.

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We have learned that the buyers "don't like animals".  I'm not sure if that a realtor's way of saying "doesn't like dogs" or these people really don't like animals and two things.

1- DAFUQ?  Who doesn't like animals.

2- As Teh German told our realtor, "They are going to have a hard time in this neighborhood."

^^ he ain't wrong.

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After dealing with Best Buy/Geek Squad fuckary, my new laptop finally arrived.  Should I have had to be the one to initiate the calls to actually start the process of getting a new computer?  FUCK NO.  So FUCK YOU Best Buy.  

There are times that being an absolute control freak is annoying and anxiety inducing and times that it is beneficial and this was one of those times that it was all of the above.

Anyways, while I wanted a 17" MSI, they were all sold out on Best Buy's website and since I had the insurance policy, I had a store credit for the value of what I paid for the last laptop to use on a new computer.  I considered selling the gift certificate and then realized what an absolute pain in the ass that would be, so I just settled for a 15" MSI, that was essentially the new version of my old laptop.  I ended up paying $180 out of pocket for a new laptop with a 1 year warranty on it (because we are moving and well... I'm me).  I considered waiting to see if any of the 17" would come back in stock, but I really needed my laptop back, so 15" it was (and also, none of the 17" MSI options are in stock).

The last photo of Teh Regenbogen!
Look at all those fantastic stickers!!!
/weep

So I've accepted the 15" life.  And here's how you know I'm committed to this new laptop:

The first sticker was a RBG sticker.

There are more stickers to add, but I'm trying to figure out proper placement.
I also need to make another STEMinist sticker and that requires setting up the Circut and ugh, so much work.

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Downloaded 398482949294492 (approximately) fonts yesterday.  I really should just keep that folder and save it on my external hard drive so I don't have to keep redownloading the same ones, but here we are.. doing it the hard way since 1986.

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It's ring day for some of my favorite cadets/Citadel seniors.  I'm super excited for them.  Like, more than I thought I'd be.  I'm sad that they are having to do the ceremony without their families there, but at least they are able to have a ceremony and run across the field to tap on the doors of the Chapel.  I imagine that even the rain (that has been off/on all day) won't stop them.

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When you sell your entire bedroom set and you gotta do some rearranging.

So empty.

I've also realized that I'm too old to be sleeping in a bed so fucking low to the floor.  Jesus, I'm old.

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Lesson: Do not schedule a multi-hour maintenance appointment at 2pm.  Take my word on this.  As someone who was told that her unlocked car would be waiting for her under the camera in the Subaru parking lot since I wouldn't make it to the dealership to pick up my car in the 25 minutes before the service department closed and said car was NOT unlocked when said someone was delivered to their car after 6pm when the dealership was closed.

#FUCKINGRAGE

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Groceries
-Spotify
-Foreign Transaction Fees (rude)
-$10 charge from my former OBGYN for some uncovered shit from 2018.  Thanks United Healthcare for all the ways you fucking suck.
-plastic containers for moving/storing shit.
-KFC for lunch
-impromptu moosage (absolutely zero fucking ragrats)

-Stingrays mask for Teh German.

-Stretch/plastic wrap for moving

-gas

DREI - From My Phone Shit

It came ... too late, but it came.

Teh German was able to take the Bobber on one last ride since the guy who bought it doesn't have his motorcycle license, lol.

When you sell your furniture and have to empty out all your hoarder storage spaces.

When you sell all the things and have all this cash.

Sandra really gives Meri no choice when it comes to sharing her space.

When you want to set up your new computer, but it's dead and the outlet is full.
So you just sit and look at it.

My guard dog being guard-doggy.

And then there were ONLY TWO.

Betty Crocker creation: Pizza fries.
Must figure out how to make the fries not get soggy from the pizza sauce.

Pax drooling on my couch.  Classic Moose.

These floofs.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

Not this week.  Sorry.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Lightening the load.
2. $$$$ for the load.
3. NEW LAPTOP.
4. The lady who bought the bedroom furniture had to make 2 trips.  When she came the 2nd time she brought 2 men with her who were competent and had the ability to move furniture without damaging it or the house.
5. Class of 2021 getting their rings.  Technically, I was supposed to be class of 2021, so many of CS cadet homies got their rings today and I'm super happy for them.
6. Sandy sitting on Meri and Meri not snarking at Sandy.
7. Getting to do ACTUAL WORK!  It was something simple, but I did it myself!
8. Getting Willow's 30k maintenance taken care of before we start the 2020 Migration.
9. A Husband who talks me down from my rage when we wasted a trip out of the house and who, earlier, had agreed to Willie Jewell's for take-away lunch.
10. Silicon Valley.  We started watching it and there were actual lolz.  1- I'm a nerd.  2- Teh German appreciates that and still finds humor in some of the less nerdy things.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.