Is she back?

Based on my last 2 posts, one might thing, AWW YEAH, MEGAN IS BACK!!  But I'm not sure, to be honest.

When I stopped blogging in October, it was a relief in a way.  My life was an absolute shit storm: house selling, packing, moving, new job.  Blogging was another self-imposed requirement I'd put on myself and it wasn't serving me in the ways I needed it to.  And while many of those things have resolved, that still left me dealing with the shit storm that was ME.  My anxiety and my rage and my less appealing Megan-isms that cause me to struggle more than succeed... and it was time to work on some of that.

I've done a LOT of self-reflection and reading of self-actualization/help type of books.  Motivational women who seem to have gotten their shit together and that motivates me to get MY shit together.  I've known for quite a while that I don't always deal with things in the best ways and that mayyyybbbee I should get some therapy.  When a doc mentioned therapy the first time (back in 2017 when I asked for anxiety meds for my current life crisis (full-time work, full-time school, wedding planning, adjusting to new community/house)), I literally couldn't fit it in... and that's exactly how life continued for 3 more years.  In 2019 when I mentioned to my VA doc, "Maybe I should start therapy to deal with all this crap?"  She said, "That's not a bad idea."  Then we discussed it some and realized that trying to fit therapy into an already overly full schedule was NOT a good idea so it was put on the shelf to explore at a later time.

After surviving packing our entire house myself (let's call a spade, a spade, and give credit where credit is due, shall we?  yes, this is a rare occasion, someone please mark it somewhere), the house sell from hell, living in a temporary situation that would have been ideal under different circumstances (i.e. no spouses), buying a new house, and accepting that all of this change was MY FAULT but I was struggling to accept some things, it was time to deal with my shit.  I got set up with a VA doc in MD and, in addition to getting my hot flashes medication refilled AND filled by the VA (so no longer having to pay $$ each month for the meds), I asked to be set up with a therapist.  

That said, while I was relieved to not be blogging, I missed it.  SO MUCH.  I didn't have this outlet for all my shit.  I will share my ugly on FB, but I don't EXPLAIN my ugly on FB.  In this space, I explore the ugly.  I detail out all the tidbits that create the entire situation because this space is MINE and I do what I wawnt.  I missed sharing the silly shit that I said/thought.  I missed sharing the memes/internet things that made me laugh or touched me in my dark spaces.  

But I didn't miss the unknown audience.  I didn't miss the known audience and having to censor myself.  I didn't miss Teh German saying, "Just go bitch about it on your blog," when he'd piss me off beyond my overly tolerant limit.  (BTW, he realized the benefit to my blogging when we had to redo his green card photo requirements, so HA.)

It's a double-edged sword living the "transparent" life, I guess.

A few weeks ago, I got the itch to start doing Morning Pages (MP) again.  I did these during a class in college and didn't hate it, other than the getting up early part and that has been the biggest deterrent to doing them now.  I'm tired, yall.  So tired.  MP are essentially 3 hand written pages in a private journal that you write in each morning immediately after waking up.  No one should read them, even the writer, unless you've got some million dollar idea.  The purpose is essentially to clean the slate each day, to see your patterns and deal with your shit.  While I do need to deal with my shit, my itching was to WRITE to WRITE, not to clean the slate.  I'm fine with a messy slate, but in the 6 months that I've not used this space, I felt the pull to come back and share.

So I am going to share.  I'm going to share the ugly.  I'm going to share the dirty process of dealing with myself and my shit and my problems and hopefully the solutions.  Also, getting up 30 minutes early just isn't something I can currently force myself to do.  I force myself to do a LOT of things (that's another post for another day), but sleep is one of the things that doesn't usually go well for me, so interrupting it when is IS going well is not high on my list of things to do.  So maybe I won't do Morning Pages, but maybe I will start sharing my shitty-shit here.  

So don't expect this to be Weekend Reviews and Five on Fridays and Wednesday Rants or whatever the schedule used to be.  Expect this to be raw and not full of pictures.  Expect this to be what is weighing on my heart.  Expect this to be ugly and maybe sometimes spectacular.  I can't say that I don't want to share dog photos or funny memes, but I'm trying to focus on ME now.  Check my insta for the dogs and scroll through the internet for memes.  

Five on Friday #244

EINS - Random Shit

Unless I really like you, if you ask me "When are you moving out?" I will literally walk away from you... especially if I've told you we close on 30 OCT.  This is my fucking house until then.  MINE.  No you may not come in the day prior to closing and set up your wifi.  GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SHIT.

Who the fuck asks if they can come in the day prior to do move-in things?  How fucking rude.  Again, these are all things I'd never ask anyone for if I was buying their house.  Does it suck to have to wait? 100% yes.  Is that the way it fucking works?  100% yes.  I couldn't even get estimates for a fence for our house until we closed.  Contractors wouldn't come out once they heard Dan Ryan still owned the house.  It was over 3 weeks after we closed that our fence was put in, because even though we got someone to come do an estimate, NO paperwork could be filed until we closed and that shit takes time.

So guess fucking what.  We had to wait.  YOU WILL ALSO WAIT.
Later our realtor said she thinks maybe they have kids that are doing virtual school and I should have said, "They still have THEIR HOUSE with THEIR INTERNET.  What the fuck is the problem?"  Instead, I said, "No, they cannot come early to set up wifi that only take 20 minutes."

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I'd say moving on, but definitely didn't happen.

The above situation later escalated QUICKLY when our agent said the buyers were no longer ok with us repairing the drip pan because it might void their home warranty that we purchased for them.  She sent me some image of the warranty details with the line regarding the "condensation unit pad" being highlighted.

Yall, I'm not a fucking genius, but "condensation unit pad" and "drip pan" don't sound the same.  Soooo, I took to the googly and searched for "condensation unit pad" because I've seen a drip pan.  It's the fucking slab under the outside HVAC unit.  So NO WHERE did the warranty say anything about the drip/drain pan. 

During this text exchange, Teh German pulled out his inner Papa G and said it was very unprofessional to be texting about all these matters.  This was all fine until SHE CALLED ME because her texting was unprofessional.  I was ready to fucking kill him.  And of course, he's still upstairs working so it wasn't like I could go throw my phone at his head (I didn't want to be the subject of scorn, kthx).  You see, Teh German has been handling many of the text situations because he knows our agent makes me get my hackles up.  Just seeing the notification that I have a text from her makes me go rigid and my shoulders rise to my ears and I'm instantly angry.  So that has been a nice reprieve that he just handles it, usually while also texting me (since we're both in our work spaces which are not within speaking distance).

So she calls me to discuss this situation.  She offers to pay for a professional to come out and inspect our repair work.  I said that was fine, but what if the professional said it wasn't fine.  Then I'd already be out what I'd spent to repair it and my time fixing it, so there was NO WAY I'd be replacing it at that point. 

But the underlying problem was this:
EVERYONE ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT stating that we could repair it and it was fine.

Let me reiterate any part of that statement that was unclear: THE BUYERS ALREADY AGREED AND SIGNED A CONTRACT REGARDING THIS DECISION.  THE SELLERS (us) HAD AGREED TO THE DECISION AND SIGNED A CONTRACT STATING SUCH.

To come back after the fact when you have regrets and try to renegotiate?  AW HELL NO.
Maybe this is one of those "just the way things are", but based on the reactions of individuals I was sharing this drama with, it is not, this is just actual fuckary.

I explained that when we agreed to the last contract, it was because we were done with negotiating.  I agreed to selling our washer/dryer for cheaper and cleaning the carpets and repairing the drip pan to be done with negotiating.  I stated that we had been nice and flexible about everything to this point.  We let them come view the house a 2nd time (even after they put in their offer (still weird)), we are leaving them a list of apps for the smart home things, we are leaving all the documentation associated with anything related to the house, we had agreed to do the repairs the inspector THEY HIRED had suggested we do, we sold our washer/dryer to them so they didn't have to wait on something that was backordered, we are leaving all the etc house maintenance/repair things (extra carpet, paint, trim), we let in BOTH their appraisal persons after they switched lenders for the 3rd time, and we were willing to renegotiate the contract the first time around without issue, but I (we) were DONE.  They are asking for shit I'd NEVER ask for as a buyer.  After my offer was accepted and the terms were agreed on, that's that.  As a buyer, I wait for closing, that's how it works.  I would never try to renegotiate terms that had already been agreed on and a contract had been SIGNED.  That's not how it works.  Personally, I feel like they are trying to put us out of our home, WHICH IS STILL IS, with all these requests. 

I think it was when I told our agent, verbatim, "I leave for Barbados on the 17th.  If anyone dares comes at me with ANYTHING related to negotiating or house selling or when I'm moving out, I will call their agent, whose card is on my island, and tell her and her clients to go fuck themselves," that she understood I was DONE with this shit. 

Ultimately, the agents agreed to split the cost of replacing the drip pan themselves.  I'm sure that'll be rough to pay with the $18k they are splitting from our sale.

As I told Teh Bestie, I don't HAVE to sell my house.  I'm not in a hurry.  Would it be nice to move forward?  Yes.  But I'm 

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2020, the year I said, FUCK YOU to all irritants tags.

For real.  From my wash cloths (why did I even leave tags on those anyways?) to my shirts.  If it has a tag that won't lay flat or irritates me in any way, IT FUCKING GOES.  It's a release every time I cut one off or rip it out.  Like my brain sighs. 

And I do question why I've always left the tags.  For my clothes it is so I can go back and reference what size the item was if I like the way it fit and I order another from the same brand.  As for linens/towels/etc.  I have NO idea.

Actually, I have a figment of an idea.  When I was a kid, I had a comforter with a tag on it that said, "ONLY TO BE REMOVED BY CONSUMER," and I was like 8 or something and I knew I wasn't "CONSUMER" (nor did I know what "consumer" was).  That line was followed by, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law," which I assessed to mean, I'd go to jail for removing the tag.  And so, I just dealt with the annoying ass tag and used it as a means of determining which end was "up" (which is also absolutely ludacris in relation to a blanket that can be flipped and flopped).

But it is so liberating to be free of itchy/annoying tags!

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Dear Google,
Ludacris was a WORD before it was a NAME.  GTFO of here with your suggestion to capitalize the word so it is spelled correctly. DAFUQ is wrong with you?

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I did my first GEGR Applicant interview(s) this weekend and it was awesome.  I would totally do it again, even though it required effort and me talking to strangers.  The family I interviewed totally needs a greyhound and I want to be their friends, not just because the greyhound thing, but also because they are runners and they were awesome when I spoke with them.

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I posted that link about viewing Blogger with the legacy view last week.. and now it no longer works.  FUCK YOU BLOGGER.

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Oh, you guys thought the house strife was over for the week?

IT WAS FUCKING NOT.

After dealing with the drip pan debacle, we were informed that the house only appraised at 298k.  I mean, we weren't far off asking for 300k, in that regard, and people pay over appraisal value all the time, but they wanted us to cover 6k of their closing costs and our agent suggested we up the price to 304k and then it was only 2k coming out of our pockets and they'd pay the 4k on the backend of their home loan (i.e. shit that is not my fucking problem).

Our agent was angry about it and challenged it and we've yet to hear back from the bank, despite being told we'd know by Thursday.  Our agent claims that they used comps that were not similar to our house, which is logical.  

In various conversations with multiple people, 4 individuals had suggested that the bank didn't want them to get the loan and informed said appraiser of such information and thus the appraisal value being what it is.  This was after we learned that the buyers couldn't afford to pay ANY amount of money out of pocket.  Later, our agent informed us of different details (as she has done multiple times throughout this whole fucking disaster), but our opinions were not changed.

It was a hard discussion to have, but Teh German and I talked about our bottom line.  We have never wanted to pay their closing costs, but swallowed the "that's just how it is" pill with the cost adjustment.  I won't even lie, I'm the queen of petty hill right now because of the shit that went down on Monday over a signed motherfucking contract, and I'm not overly sympathetic to your situation when..

ONE- We will be buying our own house in the next few months.  I NEED MY FUCKING MONEY.  Yes, it's "only" a "few" thousand dollars, compared to whatever the total number is we walk away with, but the place we are moving to is DOUBLE the price of Charleston, that is not an exaggeration, that is not me being dramatic, that is the TRUTH.  

TWO- I refuse to pay you to buy my stuff.  That's not how selling things fucking works, no matter what any sales(wo)man tells me.  I learned that lesson the hard way when selling my Civic in Bahrain and the guy tried to tell me I was paying for his car insurance for the upcoming year (since it had to be paid in advance) as we were on our way to handle the paperwork at the Bahrain DMV equivalent and I absolutely refused.  Then he couldn't scramble to get all the money and I ended up having to pay for some of his insurance because otherwise I'd be stuck with a car that I couldn't get back to the US since that ship had sailed (literally).

THREE- If you can't afford something, i.e. a 300k house, you shouldn't be buying it.  This IS what I know about how this whole house buying process works...  If you are in the market for a house, you should have a down-payment or an option for the least amount of penalty for the least amount of money down.  If you are penalized in all the ways because you can't afford a down-payment, then it is not time.  Save some money, come back to the table later.  In addition to not having a down-payment and then having ZERO dollars to put down towards the closing costs and expecting the seller to pay them for you/have to accept a higher price to have them covered on your loan?  UNACCEPTABLE.  

I say all these things having only ever purchased new construction.  There was NO negotiation.  We covered ALL the costs.  So this idea of the seller covering the buyer's costs absolutely incenses me.

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Oh yeah.. and it gets even better.  Within a few hours of our agent informing us the appraisal value was lower than the agreed upon price, I started receiving emails from a lawyer and Navy Federal congratulating us on being under contract for the house.

The phone conversation I had went like this:

Me: Hello, this is Megan.
Navy Fed Person: Hi, Ms. [Lastname], this is blah blah from Navy Fed and we heard that your house is under contract, congratulations!

Me: Uhhh.. awkward since we were just informed that the house didn't appraise at our agreed on price and now we're having to renegotiate this crap.

Navy Fed Person: Uhhh.

Me: Yeah, this isn't a good time.

Navy Fed Person: Ok, I can just email you!

Me: That's probably best.

Megan, being Queen of the Awkward, since 1986.

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Jamie the Very Worst (formerly: Missionary) posted something in September that popped up on my Feedly and when I went to her site to reference it, it didn't exist.  This makes me extremely sad because the post was absolutely everything I didn't know I needed and I wanted to share it, but it doesn't actually exist on the internet.  Well, it does, but only because I emailed it to myself from my Feedly, but I can't actually share the link and tell you to read it because it's not on her site and I'm not going to post it here because that's stealing and I'm not down with that.  I keep hoping it will eventually get posted on her site, but I haven't seen it yet and that makes me sad.

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I've been incrdibly stupid this week.  That's not a euphimism for anything, it's the truth.  Here's the situations that helped make this assessment accurate:

Monday morning: 

I ordered new collars for Sandy for her birthday (Oct 12th) and they arrived last week.  I put them on her Monday since I had given her a bath... but her martingale wouldn't fit, despite my adjustments.  I messaged the seller to explain that I loved the collars, but one wouldn't fit and she said, the collars are the same size, then started to explain the process of adjusting them... and I realized I hadn't adjusted the collar to make it bigger... but smaller.

Yall, I've been adjusting dog collars for a REALLY LONG TIME.  I didn't even think to go the other way.  /facepalm times infinity.

Monday evening: 

While talking to my GEGR interviewee, he said, "My wife is a cancer."  My brain immediately was like, "WTF?  Is she trying to KILL him?  Who says that about their spouse!?!"  And then I tuned back in to hear him saying, "She's loyal and caring and loving..." and I interrupted with a, "OMG, I GET IT!  You mean astrology cancer, not abnormal cell growth cancer!"  He was so stunned and I was laughing so hard and we cackled together.

Tuesday at lunch:

I decided to make dinner for lunch so I didn't have to cook dinner, this is a new thing we've been doing.  I like it.  Anyways, I was cooking a PF Chang's frozen bag dinner and couldn't figure out why the food wasn't cooking properly.  Then I realized.. I was using the double burner.. for a triple burner pan.  

Yall, Jesus needed to take my wheel.  I was a mess.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-all the packing things.  Ugh.  At least the boxes were free.
-new running shoes.  My knees were hurting, I couldn't do it anymore.

-Allie Brosh's new book, which I would have preordered if she hadn't already fucked me once, so I didn't preorder it this time, just in case it didn't come out... again.

-More packing shit.

-Travel meals

-dog/political shirt

-Grocery stuff in MD for taco soup.

-Halls

DREI - From My Phone Shit

This toy did not make it.

I won 3rd place during my last Former Company Disney Trivia night and winners received a mask with their favorite character.  I was super pumped about it, until I put on the mask and realized how bad it sucks.  Siiiiigh..

The dog cabinet was emptied to make the journey up to MD.

The temp when I arrived to MD.
(insert all the praise hands emojis here)

First official day working in the office... even though it was only for a few hours and then I went home and did more work things.

DOGS.

The cutest head tilt.

How is she comfortable?  One will never know.

Shortly thereafter followed by this position, which included a head slamming against the floor.

This guy only got ONE bully stick and he was upset about it, so he came to me for consoling.

The cutest little Monkey-Doodle you ever did see.

When ALL the girls HAVE to sit together.  Preferably ON TOP of each other.
Facepalm for days.

This goof.  He makes me lol.

Sometimes, you are your Wuff's chair.

Bitches on the move!

New neighborhood patrol duties!

Old lady snoozes.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

BE FUCKING BETTER.
I said this prior to COVID.
I'll continue to say it now.
BE BETTER.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Being so emotionally drained by Monday's re-negotiation debacle that the punches from later in the week were barely nudges.
2. Being on the same page with Teh German and talks after the lights are out.
3. Alexa playing certain songs on repeat without judgment.  That bitch still can't hear tho.
4. A solid audiobook for my drive to MD.
5. Going into the office and getting to meet 2 of my coworkers face to face.  It's the little things these days.
6. A Christmas amount of packages waiting for my arrival in MD (my running shoes and book and new employee mail things).
7. Cute dogs.
8. Packing 4 boxes.
9. #BarometerHead meds kicking in quickly (by quickly, I mean, I could minimally function within the hour).
10. Getting the beasts moved up to MD.  As sad as I will be to drive away without my fur-therapy, I know that it will be easier this way.

Happy Friday Saturday, Gentle Readers.

Five on Friday #243

EINS - Random Shit

Steph posted this last week and it's everything I haven't been able to put into words for YEARS.

What exactly do we mean when we say Make America Great Again? To return to our lips not coming near the same water fountains, our asses not sitting on the same seats, our kids not going to the same schools, our neighborhoods staying lily white, red lining, Jim Crow, Black bodies being used and discarded, Black labor being valued differently? Was America great in those times? What time do we want to go back to when America was great? The entire time we've been racist since the beginning? The incredible horror we've inflicted on the native people and the land? The time when we fought World War II against fascism? Wait, people are against Antifa now, which essentially means being in support of fascism, so that can't be right. It seems like we want to go back to women dying from back alley abortions too. Is that the time? All of the above times? I don't have enough expletives right now. And to quote something I saw on the Internet last night, fuck off I'm not leaving just because it's unjust and fucked up here. There is work to be done. We cannot change the past but we sure as FUCK should not be going back to any time in it because America was NEVER great for ALL of her people. Act right and stop saying Make America Great Again. Your racism is showing. Work to build a better tomorrow for EVERYONE instead. No fucking exceptions. To see how many white people are invested in upholding this system that disproportionately benefits them, read any comment section on the Internet. The longer we hold on to old ways designed to keep a foot on the neck of Black people (read a book, the criminal justice system was literally designed to do this, and modern day police themselves were born from slave catchers-we need to start ENTIRELY OVER), the more the unrest grows and makes everyone less safe. Change is needed for the well being of Black people, brown people, white people, and police of every color.

THIS.  ALL OF THE THIS.

YOUR RACISM IS SHOWING. 

There's nothing you can say to change my mind on this.  There is no meme you can share to make me laugh at this.  And if you support a president who encourages the division of a nation and enables some to openly air their racist opinions and hatred, then you are part of the problem.  This is me saying if you vote for Trump in 2020, you're a racist.  Maybe it wasn't super clear in 2016, but it's super clear now and there is absolutely ZERO excuse.

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Apparently, getting older and being an adult means waking up earlier to do shit.  And I don't mean like work shit, I mean like personal shit.  I.e.: Exercise, chores, bathe the dogs.  Things that you know have to be accomplished, but also know that at the end of the day, you do not want to deal with it.

It's crazy how much shit I sometimes accomplish before I sit down at my desk at 0830 (sometimes earlier, sometimes later, get up off me) to start doing work things.

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If you hate new Blogger and need Legacy for your sanity, let me help you.

1. Copy this link into the address bar:
   https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=#######&useLegacyBlogger=true#allposts
2. In another tab, sign into Blogger.  In the address bar, copy that super long number at the end of the URL.  
3. Replace the ###### with that super long number you just copied.
4. Hit enter/return.

You are welcome.  I do not know how long this leet hack will work, but you better believe I'll be using it for as long as possible.  Also, fuck the new template.

Hate, hate, hate.  Loathe entirely.

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All yall iOS-ers who just had your eyes opened to the marvel of widgets are making me LOL.  Android has had widgets forever.  They are fabulous.  Welcome to like.. 2010 or something.

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I didn't watch the debate.  I have ZERO regrets.  My mental health and good sleeps are way more important to me than watching something I can skim highlights about the next day if I choose to.  I mostly chose NOT to.  I'm not sorry.  I didn't anticipate anything significant or life changing would come out of the debate and it was exactly the horse and pony show that it was expected to be, based on what I saw online the following morning.

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I have 3 different banks that I use.  It's stupid, but I'm stubborn.  I got paid at some point and decided to set up my allotments and decided to switch my savings account bank money to the same bank we have the house account with.  This is all fun and games until I'm trying to move money between accounts.

So anyways, now I have FOUR PayPal accounts, ya know, in case you needed to confirm that I am truly, 100% ridiculous.  Also, setting up new accounts takes time and Jesus needed to take the wheel on that since I'm super impatient.  So I put in no less than 20949293492 confirmation numbers and still I could not transfer money.  Also, the House account bank created 2 checking accounts from my one request and when I called to get one closed I was told I'd have to call back after 24 hours since the system needs time to process.  /facepalmfordays.

I still haven't been able to successfully transfer the money from Paypal into the new account, but it's a work in progress.  Really, why is this so difficult?  And I could have paid for a wire transfer of all the funds, but why deal with that when I can do it for free between my 6 millionty Paypal accounts?

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Look, Gentle Readers, I have a SERIOUS problem with using the last of anything.  I have trained myself to replace things before we get to the last one of anything so that way we don't run out of things.  This is not a good method when you are moving.  This way ensures you have more shit to move and that's really the pits.

So I went to the grocery store to pick up a few necessities like eggs, which I eat for breakfast, ok, gosh.. and some Halloween candy to be used for smores instead of just having chocolate bars.  There were so many items I was like, Oo I could pick up this and this and this and had to FORCE myself NOT to grab those items.  Transition is hard.

In addition to saying no at the grocery store, I've been telling myself no about picking up food when I'm out of the house because I'm always tempted when I leave the house to "treat myself".  Not only did we have leftovers at home since I'd cooked consistently this week and it was actually pretty good, but eating out means leftovers last longer, which means I don't need to cook as much, which means food is in our house still when we move out.

Soooo, in making an effort NOT to eat out as a "get out of the house, treat yoself", I am in turn, forcing myself to 1- save money, 2- eat the food at home, 3- forcing myself to cook, all of which means that there will be less food in the house to transport when we finally leave.  It's a long and winding road, thanks for taking it with me.

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When your Bestie asks you to pick up some Bath and Body Works hand sanitizer for her from the outlet before you leave Charleston and you go to the website and see they offer things online and then you both go down a rabbit hole, and you finally have this exchange:

We love who we love, loooool.

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It's a common cybersecurity mechanism to lock a computer after there is no activity for a certain period of time.  This, unfortunately, makes you go offline.  Soooo.. I've learned to play YouTube videos when I am AFK so I do not go offline when my computer locks.  This wouldn't be an issue if Skype for Business wasn't the way it is and/or if I could download it for my phone and actually be able to sign in.

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Teh German did a thing!

With the money he made from selling Suzi and the Bobber and the former trailer, Teh German upgraded Teh Ville with a new covered trailer!  This will make hauling the bikes MUCH better because we won't be AS paranoid that someone is going to steal them AND if we go somewhere there is no covered storage, we will have brought our own covered storage with us.

IN ADDITION... the trailer will be used for storage purposes while we are living with Teh Bestie and Teh Chief Smartass.  This is a decision Teh German has been researching for quite a while now, so him finally pulling the trigger is nice.

I also want to note that he had me come outside to "help" him back it inside the fence and he managed to get it in on the FIRST try.  The only assistance I really offered was telling him when to stop backing up so he didn't run over the HVAC.

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I was about to start researching where to purchase moving boxes and did a quick marketplace search (on Teh German's acct, don't be foolish) and saw that someone had posted a LOT of boxes outside of a business for freeizzle within the hour.  You better bet I high-tailed it right the fuck over there and filled up Willow like a boss.

Teh German informed me that they are kinda small and I explained to him the larger the box the heavier it is to move.  Also, most of these boxes are the same size, which is super helpful when it comes time to Tetris the shit out of the POD.

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Speaking of the POD.  It arrived today.

Teh German and I both watched with wonder while the POD was unloaded off the truck with a portable crane which almost literally blew our minds.  We had been curious how it was going to be moved and we found out.  Also, how cool is a portable crane?  Engineering is marvelous!

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Pulled out my tech writer skillz to create a standard document for the GEGR application reviewers to fill out since the current process is a bit finicky.  AND THEN my people let me down and didn't even seem to care that I did it so fabulously!  Siiiiiiiiiigh.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I won't lie.  It felt good to do that kind of editing.

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I've been given some long term research goals for our department.  It's kinda scary because it's not a subject I'm deeply educated in so it will require some learning.  But at the same time, it is a SUPER interesting subject for me, so that shouldn't be difficult.

Also, I'm that nerd that is legitimately interested in data and making it work for the user.  I get EXCITED about the data and learning it and using it and I really think my new coworkers underestimated my passion.  While training with one of my coworkers this week, I explained to him that I really enjoyed learning about the stuff he works on and that I wasn't even kissing his ass, I had a REAL interest in the system and making it better and trying to find ways to implement the suggestions he makes since he's the primary user who manipulates the data.

Also, I discovered a data dictionary Thursday and it details all the attributes in the key tables and I almost jizzed my pants I was so jazzed about it.  If none of that meant anything to you, let me translate: I found some nerdy shit that made me excited.

________________________________________

Because of all the weird race deferrals, I have NO idea what races I'm still signed up for or what has been deferred.  Particularly all of the Rock n Roll races I signed up for, which is super annoying since that was a LOT of dollas.

Also, I had to give my running spreadsheet a facelift since I will no longer be in Charleston next year for local races, I went ahead and deleted those that were tentative sign ups.  I'll be seeking out DC/MD races, if they are held.

This is all because Charleston Marathon announced that the race in January will be virtual.  This makes me happy and sad.  Happy that I won't have to coordinate coming back for the race, sad because I won't have a reason to come to CHS for the race.  BOOOOOOOOO.  Also, I'm not overly excited about the medal or the rest of the package.  They are including a River Dogs (baseball) ticket.  Guess what I'll never fucking use.  A baseball ticket.  Ugh.

________________________________________

My knees have started to hurt when I run.  Any distance.  This is an indicator that I need new running shoes.  Things I do not want to have to buy: New running shoes.  It feels like I just bought new running shoes... and then I remember that I ran almost 100 miles in June and that kinda explains why I might need new shoes.  Le siiiiiigh.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Dog shampoo for Sandy... again
-Dog food when I realized my autoship was delayed because my scheduling considerations were unrealistic
-Willow maintenance
-minimal groceries.  Absolute necessities: eggs and candy for the gathering on Saturday.
-Thanksgiving day 5k with Teh Bestie and Teh MD Native.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

When your Bestie goes AWOL and Googly says she's at home and she's not responding to any of your correspondence (work emails or texts) and so you message her on the hour for a while, then every few hours.. and then you finally decide that if she doesn't respond by dinnertime, you'll reach out to her people because ZERO TO DOOM is literally the way my brain works.

Full Paper Jacket for my lady bits appointment.
Also, if you are one of those people who is miserable and shy about getting your privates medically inspected, it's time to get over it.  Your business ain't nothin' they ain't seen before.  Slide all the way down and spread em and get it over with while laughing because life is short and ain't nobody got time for unnecessary misery.

Someone is texting my work phone like they know me.
They do not know me, nor do I know them.
And now it's been so long that I don't know how to tell them that I am not the person they are looking for.
Also, what horrible person didn't tell them that they changed their number if they were close enough to get relative updates?!

VIER - Dogs (aka I don't feel like searching the internet cesspool for entertainment)

He's so goofy/

Office situation: Meri on the couch, Sandy on the bed, Pax on a couch

This makes me tense up every time (because I'm always afraid Meri is gonna be snarky) but it melts my heart so much.

How to lure an old lady into eating her noms.

A day in the life of Paximoose:

For real, all of ^^ those photos were from the same day.  He, truly, wants you to understand how hard his life is.  The ruffest of the RUFF!

Be still...

...my heart.

When Meri steals your regular spot and you're forced to snuggle with Mahm and Mahm is afraid she's going to die on the couch because she refuses to get up until after you do and you're definitely not getting up.

Friday morning office situation. /swoon.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Free motherfuckin' boxes.  
2. 2 runs this week, which also meant 2 dog walking sessions this week.
3. Sandy RUNNING ME 1/3 of her route home.  She'd have ran me 1/2 of the route if I had been able to keep up with her galloping, but it was just too much.
4. That salmon I cooked on Tuesday.  It was so delicious and teleworking = heating up fish leftovers and no one bitching about it.
5. Getting assigned my first GEGR application to process.
6. NOT watching the debate.
7. Hosting a gathering.  Yes, even though it's during a pandemic.  I'm mildly stressed about that, but the payoff will be that we get to see our people before we leave.
8. NOT eating out despite many opportunities.  1- we're going out this weekend.  2- forced to cook.  3- $$ saved.  #AdultingFuckingMaster
9. Scheduling dinners with people who we won't see on Saturday.
10. Leftover birthday cake from Meri's birthday last weekend with lemon icing.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers!

Five on Friday #235

EINS - Random Shit

There are 2 types of people.  Those who view their email in an individual view, where each email is it's own line, and those who view them as threads when they have the same subject line.  It is often VERY easy to see who uses which by who replies all and who doesn't.

________________________________________

Sooo, I'm not the queen of keeping work/personal life separate, but when a coworker posted this in our work chat,

"Not a good day.  My Dad would have been 90yo today.  He passed away last year on July 25th.  Sure do miss him terribly."

I was like, wuuuuttttt?  Of course, in another channel, I started shooting off messages like WTTTFFF??  This is NOT your therapist's couch.  There had been no other chatter that morning, so that was the ONLY message in chat as people started signing on.

This individual and I have had several interactions and almost none of them overwhelmingly positive.  I blame this on generational communication differences.  You see, they are an older person and I am less old.  As a Comm major, I do try to be receptive to different communication styles and this person's style feels very much like, "You are young, you are a woman, and you obviously need to be kept on top of to do your job."  Anddd wellllllllll, I do NOT do well with that.

________________________________________

Teh Ginger posted on FB (ages ago now) about how if you fly a Confederate flag, you are not supporting your heritage, you are supporting racism... and I 100% agree.

FOR EXAMPLE.
South Carolina flew a Confederate flag at the Statehouse from 1961 (put up for the Civil War Centennial and then left up the following year to PROTEST the Civil Rights Movement) until 2015, when it was taken down after the SC Emanuel AME shooting and moved to a museum.

If you're telling me that the Confederate flag doesn't support racism, you need to read some history books (like well researched ones, not the ones that you had to read aloud in middle school that were written by people who want to gloss over the nasty things (which is called whitewashing, look that up too)).

________________________________________

Being told the way we have been doing documentation for over a year and a half is probably going to be going away and we'll start using a new method which has been available all along that we refused to use because we had our own way is incredibly demoralizing.

Same for doing a job that isn't actually your job.

________________________________________

It's hard coming back to this space and deciding what to say and what not to say after saying nothing at all for so long.

________________________________________

Bestie: I've still been kinda looking at places for you...  

Me: Oh, I know you have.

Bestie: ...Hoping that nothing comes up too soon.

________________________________________

On MWF, Teh German and I work out.  Teh German goes to the gym and I do my run and then we meet back up at home.  On days when Teh German works (all days except when he is on unpaid COVID leave), I manage walking the beasts... But when Teh German is home, he walks with me on my rounds (plural because Big Booty Judy walks like a white-girl-wasted sorority sister who also had a hit of crack, so she has to be walked on her own, then I/we go with the other 2).

Big Booty Judy pooped while we were walking and I picked it up.  In our neighborhood, trash pick up is on Tuesday.  I feel that if your trashcan is still at the curb on Wednesday morning, it's fair game, so I tossed the bag of poop into an unsuspecting trash can, rather than waiting to get to a construction plot bin.

Teh German: Why would you do that?

Me: They should have brought their trash can in.  That's the way it works.

________________________________________

Sandra Dee decided that she's too good for kibble because she's an asshole.  I tried another type of kibble and it was still a no.  Then I tried cooked chicken and rice.  She ate the chicken and refused the rice.  Pax and Meri have enjoyed her rejections.  Then I was giving her cooked chicken + freeze dry raw patties from her SHUG Godmother.

Because I hate the smell of cooking meat, I finally just decided that Sandy will be going on a raw diet.  Fortunately, Teh Sister is all over that shit since she feeds her wiener army raw.  She mathed out the ounces of food that Sandy would need and now I just need to find the different types of meats she needs (muscle, bones, organs) and chop it all up (ugh) for her.

So now I'm that lady.  I'm trying to decide if I just want to move all the beasts to raw or not, but I'm just not sure.  Such a hugeeee commitment when they don't have any issues eating kibble.  So they probably won't move to raw because I'm lazy AF.  But everyone should know, I considered it.

________________________________________

I wore jeans yesterday without the intention of leaving my house.  Granted, I did leave to go out and hunt for Sandy food, buttttt I just felt BETTER which meant that leaving for any reason wasn't an impossible goal.

It took me a few weeks to get into a COVID groove with the teleworking/working out/showering/etc.  That sounds silly, but it's true.  When this all started, I'd get up and go downstairs and feed the dogs and never go back upstairs so I'd be in my PJs all day lookin' dumpy without even brushing my teeth and I felt gross.  Did not like.

So I switched it up.  Each day, I insisted on brushing my teeth and putting on non-pj clothes before starting work.  Dress for success or whatever.  Really it was just "when you wear a bra you don't get such horrible under boob sweat, so just do it, ok?"  

Then I started MWF run days with my accountability partners (Teh Bestie and Teh Running Advisor) and those days became hair wash days.  Also, I don't leave my house without brushing my teeth, nor do I appreciate funk breath while I'm huffing and puffing, so I always brush my teeth before a run.  That meant on T/Th, getting up and brushing teeth and showering or not and then going downstairs for work.

All that time though, unless I was leaving the house, or sometimes even if I was leaving the house, I'd put on stretchy waist pants, be that pj pants or gym pants, and a t-shirt.  Within the last week or so, the culmination of that blah feeling had crescendo-ed to the point of lethargy and depression.  Not to say my clothes were making me depressed, but the appeal of putting on stretchy pants had diminished over the last few weeks. Wearing stretchy pants is comfortable, but at the same time I judged myself over it.  Harshly.  For no real reason.  

Just like the day I wore my interview dress for the entire day, I felt BETTER wearing jeans.  I felt like leaving the house wasn't such a monumental event... it wasn't as hard as it was in days prior wearing stretchy pants. 

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Groceries

-Food scale for #SandyProblems

-Sandy food, ugh.

-Burger King for lunch, because if I leave the house, that's what I do, pick up food.

-Mooosage

DREI - From My Phone Shit

I have repaired the bunny 2x now.
Once more and bunny goes to heaven.

DA MOOOOOOOSE

Melted dogs are melty.

Solar charging and grazing....

VIER - From the Internet Shit

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. The children hanging out (aka napping) in the office with me during the work day.  Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.  I never mind unless there is licking.
2. Sandy being still while I cut out her mats.  I'm not really sure how they got there, but they were in sensitive places that I knew she wouldn't tolerate detangling, so I just cut them out.  Goes well with the massive shaved zone on her back... Siiiigh.
3. Light work load.  I focused on tolerating stupidity this week instead of trying to do it all.
4. Scheduling a head/scalp add-on to my massage.
5. Jeans.  Whoda thunk?
6. Accepting that it may be the end of August before I hear anything about final offer.
7. Teh German applying for jobs.
8. Rain.
9. Afternoon naps.
10. Sandy playtime where she does her wobbly zoomies in the loft and sticks her entire head in the toy box in search of the perfect toy.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Five on Friday #215

EINS - Random Shit

After flipping out last month on the Cadets for never being able to recall any information given in class...  The PITA Professor has now started coming to me to confirm the due dates that he has announced in class.  This has happened more than once.  I am officially the date keeper of all assignments given in all my classes.

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.

________________________________________

A typo-ed period on the output of a programming assignment cost me an entire letter grade on a PITA Professor assignment.  There is probably someone out there who thought I was just being "Megan-dramatic" by calling him PITA Professor.. but, Gentle Readers, I am not.  So I got a D+ on an assignment instead of a C+ because of a TYPO-ED PERIOD.  And it's not like the grading of nhis programming assignments isn't entirely subjective anyways.. so I mean.. he could have just docked like half a letter grade and I would have still gotten a C.  NOPE.  Fuuuuuuucccckkk yoooouuuu, brrrroooooo.

I knew something was up when he asked me for a source file from my turn in... He could have asked me for the output again, but instead he asked for the source file.  I see what you did there.  Dick.  Ugh.

________________________________________

Last Friday this post didn't happen because life.  Monday posts often don't get to happen on Monday because life.  I've seriously considered just not blogging at all because I need to stop stress-forcing myself to do things.. and then I'm like, but we had such an awesome weekend and I want to document that, which is the whole purpose of this blog...  so it's a conundrum.  So if you've noticed the wavering schedule, just know that's how my life is currently operating and you're seeing the fallout because, eventually, something has to give... and often, it's the things I enjoy the most.  Siiiiiiigh.

Less than 200 days until graduation, Gentle Readers.

________________________________________

My job is a lot of waiting to get flooded for tasking and the dams finally broke this month and I've been slammed with tasking.  I've finally accepted that this is my life and I don't even get upset anymore... unless someone wants a 25+ page document completed by the end of the business day and they send it to me after 0900...  My PM and techs sometimes apologize and I just shrug and tell them that's part of my job and I've accepted it.  Honestly, it's the biggest motivator for me getting my homework done as soon as it's assigned instead of waiting until the last minute, so it kinda works out.

That said, when you push out 3 documents for 3 different projects in the same day and there are changes that need to be made to make one document like another, it gets VERY confusing.

________________________________________

Meri finally got her hairs did!  I made a super awkward post on Instagram with the caption, "Goodbye floofs!" and a few people thought that meant "Goodbye Meri" and that was NOT the intention.  Oops.  Since Pax has some separation anxiety when Meri isn't around, I ended up making a dog day.

I brought both dogs into the office in the AM and then we all went and dropped Meri off at the groomer when it was time.  I stopped by Teh German's office on the way back to my office so he could have some Pax Therapy time since he had some shit going down at work.  I love bringing my dogs to work.. but Jesus, it's exhausting having to pay attention to another being all day long and make sure they don't get into anything or poop anywhere.  Plus it was a day full of work, so I was being pulled in all the directions.

sooo stoned because Mahm gave me anxiety meds

Coworker of the Month and I at the company all hands meeting. 

Then when I picked up Meri, the groomer told me that she'd accidentally nicked Meri's tail and she had a case of happy tail.. which I was just rolling with since Meri has had self-inflicted happy tail before.  Except, she was so excited to see that she immediately slung the wrap on her tail off and proceeded to create a murder scene at the groomer's front desk.  They rewrapped Meri's tail and we negotiated a payment situation since they weren't going to charge me since they nicked Meri and I refused since I couldn't even tip them if they didn't charge me.  We agreed that I'd pay half so I could tip and I also felt that this was more fair than not paying at all.

With that sorted out, we headed out and when we got to the car, Meri was so excited to see Pax that she slung off the wrapping.. again, but IN Willow AND THE BLOOD.. So it was like Willow got her period and I'm trying to grab for Meri's tail, which she hates and she's confused why I'm freaking the fuck out and she's bleeding and trying to lick her tail and fucking chaos.  Is there a more accurate analogy for my life?  Probably not.

I gave up trying to get the wrap back on the her tail and just went back inside and asked for anything to cover it AND duct tape.  Sooo now Meri has a rag/duct tape club on her tail and it's pitiful, but at least she's not bleeding all over everything anymore.. Thoughts and prayers that she doesn't chew it off while we're at work.  The last thing I need, after having to clean up Willow's insides is a murder scene across the entirety of House.

It was definitely a peaceful evening!

Update: Her tail wrap fell off Thursday afternoon and now she's got an almost bald spot from the gorilla duct tape.  Oops.  On any given day, I fully expect to go home to a blood bath all over the entire house.

________________________________________

There is an ice cream shop down the street from my work.  I've been in there ONE time and there was no one to serve me or even talk to me.. There was a kid sitting at the counter watching TV, but that was it.  No workers.

I tried to go in a few week ago, but they were "on vacation".. uhh wut?  Fine.

I tried to go in today in the middle of the day.. The door was locked.

It wasn't fucking meant to be.
Also, how does this place stay open?
#MoneyLaundring

________________________________________

Dear Well-Intentioned Friends,

Your Greyhound-owner friends have seen the photo of the greyhound dressed up as a greyhound bus. Not just once or twice, but a millionty times. We appreciate that you think of us, but please know, we have already seen the greyhound dressed as a greyhound bus. We've seen it every Halloween that we've had social media. We've seen it intermittently throughout the year when someone signs onto their social media account for the first time in 6 months. We've seen it in our sleep. In fact, we probably also considered the idea since it is super adorable, but then realized just how much work went into that and how much our hound hates wearing clothes and realized NOT dressing our greyhound up as a greyhound bus was a more productive idea.

I repeat: WE HAVE SEEN THE PHOTO OF THE GREYHOUND DRESSED AS A GREYHOUND BUS.

________________________________________

I'm officially the asshole that will passive-aggressively call your ass out if you're being too loud in the morning.  We always have non-Company employees working in our office.  I'm not really sure why, but we've all just accepted it at this point.  Anyways.. one of these freeloaders participated in a conference call on speaker phone at 0730 and I managed for about 10 minutes, thinking to myself it had to end now.. no.. NOW.. Nope.. NOWWWW.  Still no?  Fuck you, bro.

I sashayed my sassy ass to the conference room and pulled the door shut.  I will not deal with that shit.  NOPEEEE.

________________________________________

I had a consult with a new hair stylist that is near my work since my current hair person moved to BFE and it's just too far for me.  I made an appointment for December with the new lady and I'm second-guessing myself so hard because I checked her instagram (after she gave me her card) and she hasn't really done a lot of "vivid hair" or she doesn't post on social media a lot.  IDK.  She seemed really nice and I know I have hair trust issues, so I'm hoping that's why I have a weird feeling about this situation.. but I'm having anxiety about this decision.

Backstory: When I was trying to call the salon to set up the consult appointment, I accidentally called Meri's groomer who informed me, after I told them about my blue hair/far away stylist situation, that they work on DOGS mostly.

________________________________________

This weekend is homework, homework, homework.  Not being in town for the entire weekend for our anniversary means I need to be ahead of the game.  I HAVE to write that stupid fucking paper already.

Also this weekend, I have to take the beasts to meet the dogs of a coworker who is willing to watch the dogs/trade dog sitting services.

Also, tonight is the Aquarium After Hours event, featuring "spirits" this time.. costume is suggested and liquor will be served.  YAAASSS.  We're dressing up as old people because I've been married long enough now that my Husband has shamed my clothing choices when I want to go out in workout pants instead of jeans and I make it a personal life goal to have valid reasons to go out in public in my pajamas and this is one of those times.  #LikeAFuckingBoss

________________________________________

We received the email from Pack Up & Go (no compensation for me by linking that, unfortunately, but if they were interested in a deal, I'm interested too!) for our trip next weekend.  The weather forecast is a high in the 40°s (Fahrenheit) each day and I'm so fucking pumped that I tried to backwards search where that would be, but can't figure it out because the airport doesn't have any flights listed as leaving at the time they said we would be departing.. sooo yeah.. I'm that person who has already tried to figure it out.

Gentle Readers, if I make it to the night before our trip without opening the envelope to find out where we are going, I will be impressed.  I'd say I'd keep you updated, but I fully anticipate that I will be taking a technology hiatus next weekend... #NotSorry

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Bojangles
-Dog food
-Groceries
-Aquarium After Hours event tickets
-Surprise cigars for Teh German (because someone was advertising a Citadel/veteran cigar business in the computer science Slack channel and I figured why not?)
-Dog nails
-Meri's hair cut
-Cider flight since I wanted to test out the new cider place across the street from work
-Fabric for new collars for Paximoose
-Cleaners
-Lunch at Sesame with a former coworker.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Life Lesson:
Properly plan to have dark sheets on the bed after getting a tattoo.
Or else....

Twin Mom bought me this gem and I have never been more disappointed to have already completed the laundry the night before.  She has one too, so we're TWINS.  HAAAA. 

What is a witch's best subject in school?
Spelling.

Do green M&Ms still make people horny?
Asking for a friend...

VIER - From the Internet Shit

Teh German recently suggested meatloaf for dinner.
I asked him if feetmeat was acceptable.
He said HELL NO.

That'd be me in the blue.
If there was ever a question.

It is ok to say:
"Today was one of those days,"
and still close your eyes,
breathe deep,
and rest, anyway.
-MHN

Do your best while also remembering:
Your worth is not attached to what you accomplish.
-MHN

pace yourself...
You cannot do it all at once.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. All of my mandalas being complete for my 3/4 sleeve.
2. Not drowning in homework/homework not giving me a breakdown.
3. Teh German coming to bed at the same time as me.
4. 2 words: COLD FRONT.
5. Lunch with former coworkers.
6. Professors who appreciate my frustration with other students being shitbags... and who help me do my homework because technology hates me.
7. Work tasking.  I bitched a lot this week about being slammed, but it was more whining than anything.  All of my school and work work got turned in on time, but I did have to be dramatic about it first.
8. The Pack Up & Go email.  I'm finally letting myself start get excited about our trip.
9. 2 weeks till Teh Bestie comes to visit!!!  /sqqqquuuuuuueeeeee!
10. Solid Betty Crocker skillz this week.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.