I'm gonna be honest... it felt weird having to type in blogger.com. Shit, that used to be a favorite on my bookmark bar and now I felt like an archeologist discovering drafts I hadn't ever gotten around to actually composing. I'm sure the intentions were good.
Also, if you're reading this, you need to know that you get what you get. I honestly have NO idea who will see this, which is slightly terrifying to be honest, but also, freeing.. My stream of consciousness, is, as always, the goal of this review; the good, the bad, and the most ugly. And since IDK who receives this, we shall down go down (another) rabbit hole of figuring that out.
Ok, photo albums have been organized (hooray data science) and feedburner has been deactivated and followers removed. The cleanest slate I'll get, I guess?
This has been an incredibly difficult year. I thought last year was pretty rough, but this year was a different kind of rough. I do want to go through my photos, but I also want to write the words in the nonsensical way that I do. So again, this will be a wild ride, so buckle up.
You see, I started journaling this year and I was pretty terrible at it for the entire year. I really started off strong, but anytime there was ruckus, my journaling fell right the fuck off. In fact, I checked last night and the last time I journaled was 11/24/25... today is 12/22/25. Soooo that feels right. I want to be better at journaling, truly, I do... but also, I don't want to be a whiny bitch all the time. Also, frequently, I stay up too late doing the yarn stabbing and then it's too late to journal when I get to bed. Not just because I'm tired but also because Teh German is also in bed and I always feel guilty for keeping the light on or making noise, even though he always sleeps through all of it, because he's one of those baby dolls that when you lay it down and it's eyes close, it's asleep. That bitterness is mostly jealousy.
This has been a very introspective year. I'm on, like, year 3? of weekly therapy.. and right now I feel like we've hit a lull and it's probably because I'm not really in the mood to do more work on me. I'm le tired. I have been fighting and fighting with me and with .. everyone? for sooo long and I'm weary.
Additionally, this year has been fucking shit for anyone who has brain cells to rub together isn't a fan of the current regime. Trying to keep up with the news cycle is impossible, on purpose... and this year I've felt more like a conspiracy theorist than ever before. There are times that I just can't do anything else because the scroll has me trapped. It's terrible being able to step outside of yourself and SEE YOURSELF trapped in a scrolling cycle and be able to do nothing about it.
I won't say there haven't been good parts, but overall, I would leave this year a mediocre review, at best. I'm gonna go through the photos (now that I've enabled cookies to actually SEE the photos (ugh why must everything always change?).
JANUARY
Nothing really of note outside of these photos for January, that I can recall.
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Ran a relay 50k in the woods.
It was fucking cold. |
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| It snowed and Pax was living his absolute best life and Ron was like, wtf is wrong with you, fool? |
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I made 2025 BINGO, as was the viral thing in Jan.
I failed, unless you stretch a few. |
We made a trip to Germany to celebrate MIL's bday. But before we went in for family time, I insisted that we have some tourist time. So we spent a few days in Berlin before heading to Bavaria. It was a fucking disaster because we were delayed leaving and our connecting flight got rearranged and then when we arrived in Germany, our luggage decided that an extra night at Heathrow was a more-better opportunity, so we had to wing it with whatever was in our carry-on packs.. Thankfully we arrived on a Saturday evening with enough time to grab toothbrushes from the store, which were
all closed on Sunday because Germany.
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Ampelmann!
Only in Berlin! |
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| Lots of spazieren gehen with the fam. |
There were so many more photos than those, but I really don't do that level of sharing these days. Sometimes, I'll get a wild hair and upload them to Facebook, but I'm not the social goddess that I used to be, mostly in that I no longer post my strifes all the time. Facebook memories are definitely more fun when you have content, but hopefully this trickle down will have the effect of eventually ceasing my use of social media. It has, at the very least,
significantly decreased my social media time, so that has been a healthy choice! I am still on the Insta, usually sharing via my story because after 24 hours, no one is bothered by it anymore... and my 50 followers obviously love all my political/self-help/cute dog photo content.
On Jan 1, a friend came over to teach me how to knit, so I spent a lot of transit time in Germany teaching myself what I could. A nice lady on the train even tried to help. Later, I moved from knitting to crochet and my hobby was aptly deemed "yarn stabbin'" because I'm not a snob to one or the other.
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I made "The Pussy" hat with this one and it was absolutely treacherous and very, very bad, so I kept it to remember these days.
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One of my 2025 goals was to shift from races to concerts.
January closed out with seeing Morgan Wade.
We're not supposed to live with this barrage of 24/7 information and to make matters worse, the regime is playing the game at the Grand Master level and purposely doing things to steer the conversation and people can't keep up. Along with being unable to keep up and everything being connected, it is a Herculean feat to stay up-to-date in any meaningful way.
For me, it has meant having to pick a lane and focus my efforts there... because as much as my heart wants all the things to be better, I do not have that capacity and if I tried to fix everything, I'd burnout so fast... and that helps no one. I do not behove anyone who picks a different lane than me because we all need to work together to make this world a better place... and this conversation comes in the February section because I had the "do we stay or do we leave" conversation with Teh German... and he said, "Stay."
Now here's the ugly part of that. The reasoning behind "stay" was when I was weighing the options, I said, "stay because someone needs to fight." And the reality is, Teh German is unlikely to be doing that fighting. Any part of the fighting that Teh German participates in is likely because I dragged him into it. I do not say this with malice, but with open honesty. As for my own fight, I never know how to do it. So mostly, I make my opinions known and speak to the issues I know about and maintain transparency about issues that I do not know about.
Stay for me meant
WORK. Stay for Teh German means whatever it means to him, I can't say, but I think it's rooted in our DINKlife comfort and the difficulty of moving and starting over (again).
February concerts: Apocalyptica, Laughing Colors
One of Teh German's coworkers is in Laughing Colors and we LURVE going to their concerts. It's the 90s jams we always know we need.
MARCH
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And a new blog name was born:
Teh German-American |
One of the most important things that happened in 2025 was that Teh German because Teh German-American. This process has been ongoing since 2018 and Teh German did it ALL HIMSELF. Like, literally ALL OF IT. He didn't hire a lawyer, he researched and filled out all the forms himself and I just signed them and provided the stuffs we needed for interviews, which ultimately only ended up being the one interview because COVID really wrecked things (or so I heard).
To say I'm proud is an understatement. Teh German worked very hard for a very long time towards his US citizenship. My only caveat was that he also keep his German citizenship (for, ya know, just in case) and a policy change in summer 2024 meant less work for Teh German so he was able to get the paperwork in. I will admit that one of the least enjoyable things about February was forcing Teh German to let me quiz him on the citizenship questions. Teh German doesn't like being frustrated and I refused to let him fail and we were up against the clock.. so we both had the USCIS app and while he did some studying on his own, I also interrogated him on occasion because we all know that someone asking you questions aloud (like how it would be for his interview) is completely different than reading them on a paper. This is what happens you marry someone who takes learning very seriously. /shrug.
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| Rhonald continued being the cutest Wuffs in MD. |
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| Pax.. FUCKING PAX. |
On March 9th, mere days after the citizenship celebration, Pax had a "neurological episode" and he almost went to the Bridge (re: I called Lap of Love (the people who come to your house to euthanize your pet) and they didn't have any appointments and I called Teh Running Vet who talked me into giving him a few days). We aren't really sure what happened, but we left Pax at home while the rest of us went to a St Patrick's Day parade. When we got home, there were multiple piles of vomit and Pax couldn't/wouldn't stand/walk.
Now look.
I'm not actually heartless, but I have a very strong sense of "there will not be suffering in my house" and this extra applies to the beings who completely rely on me and my opposable thumbs to keep them alive. After 2 days of having to use a sling to be carried outside for business (because he wasn't going business in the house as the Best Boy), Pax was at least standing on his own. Then one day, I told Pax we'd be back that we were going to take Ron on a walk and THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUMPED UP and walked in the most wonky way to us at the door, AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED AND I HADN'T ALMOST OFFED HIM 3 DAYS PRIOR.
Over the course of the next 2 weeks, Pax worked back up to his normal self. He was miffed to only get to walk the driveway for those first few days, then to the neighbor's, then a few houses down, then half of a short loop, then eventually a full short loop.. and a month later, the full big loop (1 mile). I know you know this about Pax, but maybe you don't KNOW-KNOW it.. Pax was the most perfectest one. Ever. Even if he ripped my fucking heart out in March and I had to make that call. Teh Running Vet saved him that day.
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At the McDonald's by our MARYLAND house, I noticed a familiar logo.
Holy City is never far away. |
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| Annapolis Half Marathon |
In running news.. I signed up for the Chessie Challenge in 2025, thinking the medal would be the same awesome medal as 2024, because why change something so perfect? Change it they did, but I was already committed to Annapolis Half, Baltimoronathon (5k+half), and Ocean City Half... so we went running.
I learned a lesson I had already learned, I really dislike running in Annapolis. The streets are terrible but for longer races they put you on a paved trail and the course becomes very narrow and it's uphill for the worst part.
March started off on such a good note and got progressively worse. The state of the world was also not getting better, so that was a weight that could never be set down.
March concerts: not Laughing Colors (a few members put on a show, but not the full band)
APRIL
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| Pacing Teh Running Vet for her 100 miler |
I accidentally ended up walking a marathon while pacing for Teh Running Vet and it was a whole thing. In an effort not to take away attention from her accomplishment, I really had to step away and feel all my feelings. I had only planned to go maybe 15 miles with her, but that wasn't an option. Anyways, if you ever want to be real and truly hated by someone who is delirious, pace them for their 100 miler through the night. It's a blast, promise.
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| Teh German and I built a shed together and we're still married. |
Marriage is hard yall. In Oct 2024, we tried a few sessions of couples therapy with a terrible therapist who, after learning I was in the military, blamed all our problems on my "OCD" from being in the army... And Teh German and I both agreed that it wasn't working. We ultimately did not continue couples therapy and we've had to have a lot of purposeful talks about fixing things. I, for better or worse, spend a lot of time in my own therapy talking about couples therapy things.. and I've tried to get better about letting my personal therapy be about
ME, but sometimes, it's the most difficult when you're a fixer... and also feeling guilty about how your youness got you where you are.
This isn't me saying all our relationship problems are my fault, but I did have a play in how we got to where we were, and it wasn't the good place. Teh German and I are still having these conversations a year later and with very little (obvious) progress (IMO). There are things that are still not fixed, but there is a marked difference in communication and expectations and understanding. That said, there are still times that "stay or leave" applies in an entirely different context and that has been a difficult thing to reconcile. Putting it here feels like transparency, but also like airing the dirty laundry. But also, this is my space and we'll talk about what I want to talk about. Kthx. Anyways, we're still married.
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| Greyhounds (and Wuffs!) in Gettysburg (GIG)! |
When Ron's OG Mom told me she was going to GIG, I made it a point to bring him up to see her since she'd driven from Illinois. Of course, Ron was the biggest dog there... making a comeback since his 2021 appearance as a 6 month old puppy... of which I found my photos. It was just a weirdly circular feeling that a stranger puppy I'd loved on years ago now holds down my couch. Ron's story is a bit complicated, but TLDR: his former owner passed away which is how Rhonald ended up on our couch. As we've integrated into the Potomac Valley Irish Wolfhound Club (PVIWC), we've gotten to know 2 of Ron's cousins (from the same breeder/linage) and learned that Ron was from a highly-coveted litter... and now he just lopes around our yard and leaves his pinecone sized poops for me to pick up and blesses us with his Father Ron beard (after he drinks from the water bowl) and harasses us until we go on our evening walk. He's fantastic.
In May, everyone was kind of settling into the chaos that is the Regime. The Librarian was fired and that thin veil of legislative branch security started tearing. Things got very stressful at work because of weird shit rolling downhill and also just everyone being on high alert for the DOGE. The Library is a public building, so most spaces were open and anyone could walk in. Not as of May. This level of security was familiar to me, but really set a vibe for those who had been at the Library for a long time.
Concerts: Linkin Park
Adult you should be doing all the things that teenage you couldn't do. Seriously. Linkin Park was a phenomenal show.. and not just because at one point, between artists, Thong Song started playing and I was able to serenade Teh PT Kid in all the ways I know he hate-loves.
JUNE
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| Just 2 Obi's sharing. |
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| Bros |
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| Worked in the Main Reading Room and was so very productive! |
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| Solo summer country concert! |
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| Ella Langely |
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| Riley Green |
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| Dawg days of almost summer |
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| FINISHED THE BLANKET! |
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| Finished product! |
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| More summer concerts! |
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| Mumford and Sons acoustic will always bring me joy. |
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| Niece #2 arrived |
Things started to feel less... precarious.. in June. I think we were all settling into the political chaos and we'd finally stopped being overwhelmed and had worked out some semblance of what to do next. Work didn't go great, more shit rolling downhill (perhaps).
Concerts: Damn Country Music Tour (Riley Green, Ella Langely, Lauren Hawkins, and Preston Cooper), acoustic Laughing Colors, Mumford and Sons.
The Damn Country Music Tour was an impromptu idea for me. I found a ticket that was reasonably priced and just did it. I went to Hersey in 2024 to see Morgan Wallen as a solo adventure, and this was in Baltimore, so it wasn't even going to be as crazy. I knew that no one else would have wanted to go with me (re: country music), so I wasn't sad to go alone and sing my fucking heart out to all the songs with strangers. Also, the seat ended up being venue centered, which was kinda perfect.
Mumford and Sons was also an impromptu invite from Teh Running Vet. I had seen the announcement that M&S were coming to Merriweather the year prior, but due to circumstances with Teh (now Former) Bestie at the time, I wasn't really sure if maybe we'd go together? My first time seeing M&S was with Teh Former Bestie and I wasn't really sure how I felt about seeing them again/not with her. It was a whole thing.. and when Teh Running Vet asked me to go, I just said yes.
But a piece of that puzzle that really helped click things into place was that same weekend, Teh Running Vet and I passed Teh Former Bestie while running that swampy summer morning and she didn't wave back or even slow down as we passed each other. We had eased up our pace to slow down and chat and she didn't even acknowledge us (probably more specifically: me)... and THAT was the final nail in the coffin. To not acknowledge someone who was your best friend for 10 years was the slap in the face I guess I needed to get the message: the door was irrevocably closed.
Back to the M&S concert, I later learned that Teh Former Bestie was there, which really put nails in the coffin of the relationship. I hadn't realized that the relationship was completely nonexistent, so part of me had some weird thought in the back of my head that maybe we'd go together again for M&S? IDK, feels irrational now, but I guess in some way I hoped that the relationship wasn't a closed door... I also do not know why my brain was hopeful since I'm the one who said the hard things and never got a response and all the "let's get together"s were never actually genuine. It was a difficult chapter, tbh... and with no closure has felt difficult for a long time.
But it was definitive kick I needed. If there was no hope and someone wasn't going to acknowledge me in public, I was done. I unfriended and unfollowed Teh Former Bestie in all the places. My business doesn't need to be known by her and vice versa. It was hard, after so many years of knowing someone to unknow them, to choose and force being unknown by them. To let go of that tiny flicker of hope. To know that the season has fully passed. Sometimes Facebook memories are really a blessing and a curse.
JULY
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| We discovered Surplus at the Library and it's been a fun adventure! |
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| Just a Chesapeake sunset |
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| 7/11 = slurpee day! |
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| A long awaited house-to-do task: replace the kitchen sink was finally completed! |
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| I got to spend some time with Teh Sister and Teh Nieces and this was me walkin' my bitches. |
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| The monsoon season brought about these MASSIVE yard shrooms.. and they made me giggle. |
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| We also entered into "trip and fall" season of trail running. |
Concerts: the echoes of a baby and a toddler? No actual concerts this month, but it was busy so it was ok.
July was a plateau month. Nothing significantly terrible (that I can remember). Or I was shut down because it was all terrible? Hard to tell when you don't document all of your life in a place. /shrug.
Getting to be there when Niece 2 was freshly wrinkled was a fun little gem that I missed for Niece 1 since they were in Texas. I'm very grateful to have been there for my sister and her family during that time. Also, now I can truly say JUST HOW BIG that tiny baby is getting!
...This is now a 2-parter since this is getting a little long...
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