Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Fancy Beef Roast

I'm not really sure why, but Teh German LOVES one-bowl meals.  I'm not sure if it's because he does the dishes and that means less dishes, or maybe it's because he just likes mixing all his food together?  I have no idea, but any meal I can make that can be served in a bowl mixed together just makes his day.... sooo that's how I served this pot roast.  See, I do nice things for Husband.

Anyways.. on to the recipe because I hate when I have to read someone's entire fucking life story to get to the recipe.


-Beef chuck roast, big enough to feed your people.
-Pot roast seasoning packet, because I'm lazy AF and that shit is delicious.
-1-2 cups of beef broth/substitute.  I use Better Than Bouillon and add the necessary water.
-Mushrooms.  I bought the biggest container of sliced mushrooms I could find, but I really like mushrooms.
-Red wine.  The only wine in our house is stuff that has been brought in by others.. I found a Chianti in the cabinet and that's what I used.
-Egg noodles
-Corn starch for sauce thickening, if you're interested in that type of thing.


-Add beef to crockpot.
-Pour packet of seasoning over roast and on the sides.
-Add beef broth/substitute, making sure you don't wash the seasoning off the beef.  If you feel like it, you can stir the broth with the seasoning on the side, but it's probably not necessary.  Broth should almost reach the top of the roast.  Not too much, not too little.
-Set crockpot to cook on low for 8 hours.
-Go to work/school/play/do whatever it is you do to pass the day.  Ok, back to crockpot duty.
-Wash mushrooms (they sometimes grow those bad boys in more than just dirt... ok? Just wash them), then add to crockpot.
-Add at least 1 cup of your acquired wine to the crockpot.  I used "enough" wine.
-Put the lid back on.  Here's where the directions get wonky.  Depending on how much time you have before you eat will depend on how long and what temperature you use to cook the mushrooms.  We had more than an hour.  I didn't even bother to change the heat setting since the crockpot was on warm and I knew the mushrooms would cook down in that time.  If I was trying to eat quick like, I'd probably just cook the mushrooms in a pan with some of the wine, then add to crockpot.  If you're somewhere in between, you can set the temp to high and cook until the mushrooms are done, which probably won't take more than 30 mins or so.
-When the mushrooms are almost done cooking, start boiling the water for the egg noodles and use a measuring cup or something to obtain some/enough liquid from the crockpot and put it into a pan (this will be your gravy).
-Create a slurry of corn starch with water and add to the pan with pot roast juices or just add corn starch directly to the pot roast juices and whisk thoroughly to break up the clumps (this is risky business, but it's what I did because I like to live dangerously).  Simmer/boil (depending on time/your thickness preferences) sauce until you'e tired of waiting/your egg noodles are done cooking/your sauce/gravy is thick enough.

Serve beef and mushrooms over noodles and cover with sauce/gravy.

This was definitely a hit and I'll certainly be making it again... I mean.. I need to use the rest of this Chianti since no one in this house is going to drink it!

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