|These eyes just need some tears welling up.|
Today we're going to talk about money, one of my favorite, yet most loathed subjects in my life. This chat is not due to the government shut down or the lack of the VA getting back to me on my GI Bill (which would be nice). Really its about my poor life choices and the pendulum that is my life.
You see, last year, I purchased a budget program for my computer called You Need a Budget (YNAB). I was totally into this program. I mean, I would open the program every night and manually add all my expenses, I had figured out how to make it show my taxes (even though the program isn't really good at that, prob helps that my pay is the same each month), I was "budgeting" (we'll call it that since I was at least mentally setting funds aside as different categories (Phil got $$ each month, car maintenance got $$ each month, savings got $$ each month, etc even though I wasn't necessarily putting these dollas into different accounts, I knew they were there), it was a good time.
Except then, the dollas weren't really there anymore after a while, they had slipped away for something else (moving).
By the way, Christmas sucks. Last year I said I was going to do simple things for people for Christmas and that was definitely NOT what happened... per the YNAB program.
I was very critical of all the dollas while I was using YNAB, which is the purpose of budgeting, to be aware of where the money is going. Then my life got stressful, and when life gets stressful, the dollas are like water, they just keep running (out). I stopped tracking all my purchases in YNAB. I couldn't tell you exactly how much I paid for a tank of gas (and I still can't). I walk away from purchases and have to ask myself, how much did I just spend? It's almost like looking at the time on your watch or cell phone. You look and then you forget a second later and have to look again (maybe that's a mental problem I have, which is for another post). I was internet shopping "for Phil" like a fiend.
My stress levels have significantly went down since Teh Bear arrived, since most of my stress was related to the distance, yet the spending problem has now become a spending habit and its a very gloomy outlook from here and I know that things have to change.
There are things I know I need to take care of financially, like transfer my TSP to a Roth TSP, actually set up accounts for all the different avenues my money needs to go towards, starting tracking my purchases again, but the task is meticulous and painful for me. I hate all things regarding organizing money, I just want someone else to do it! I just don't want to have to pay someone else an arm and a leg (or a Phil's dental fee) to do it for me. I'm really good at following directions, I just need someone else to tell me what to do, and maybe start the process for me.
I know there are other programs besides YNAB and I'm not even sure why I went with that program, knowing there are other FREE programs out there. /shrug. Even USAA has a money manager program that I know of, but don't use.
Part of the problem is that the bills keeps coming, and I've even started adding to them (hellllllloooo AMU master's program), and the money has to come from somewhere, and the money is there, it just comes from places I'd prefer it didn't.. like my savings acct when I feel like my credit card bill (from paying AMU) is getting too high.
Granted, there are smart decisions I do make and I don't mess with those. There is money going to my retirement account each month, it doesn't get changed, ever. Yurtle has her own account for her payment and insurance and some maintenance, that doesn't get messed with until her bills are due. I have a savings account that money goes to every month, but it does get messed with and I feel guilty after I take money from it for whatever stupid shit needs to be paid that isn't me going on vacation.
Really, this Catholic guilt thing I could do without. Thanks Teh Parents.
Anyone wanna be my financial planner/advisor/strategizer? Dollas suck. Why can't everything just be free?