Five on Friday #226

EINS - Random Shit

Real talk, if you are a vlogger, LOOK AT THE FUCKING CAMERA.  Do NOT look at yourself for your entire video (if you are using your cell phone or some media showing device to record yourself).  Jesus Christ, why isn't this obvious?  Talk to ME, your viewer, not to yourself.  I know, it's hard not to watch yourself, but you can do it.  I swear.  If you need to check yourself every so often, that's cool, but watching yourself for a 10 minute video?  I will rip off your arms and beat you with them.

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I might have admitted this before, but it's worth posting again.

It always takes me 3 holes to hang something on the wall that has 2 hangers (a hook on each side).  Every.fucking.time.
Please also note that I hang stuff by the "eh, that's fine" method 95% of the time, which means eyeballing it to see if something is straight or not.

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A few of my bras have a sparkly edging on the cups.  Monday, the dress I wore kinda showed the sparkly area of my bra through the fabric of the dress.  I deemed myself, "Sparkle Tits."

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Does eating frozen yogurt count as taking probiotics?  Asking for a friend.

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Sometimes, I creep on what my Spotify friends are listening to and listen to their playlists that are made for them.  I have learned (and am not surprised by) the fact that Teh Sister and I have very similar music tastes.  Thanks, Sis!

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There are few things worse than the smell of Lowcountry being trapped in your car.  If you cannot relate to this, imagine that you fart your worst smelling fart then open your door and get out of your car and do your thing.  When you get back in your car hours later, it still smells like the fart.  Except worse because now it's warm.  It's a fetid fart.  #HateHateHate

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It's been a hot minute since I posted a Shit Teh German Said (STGS) post.. and I wanted to discuss that for a second.  First off, I will say that there is a STGS post scheduled for this month.  But I often struggle with documenting the hilarious shit he says because... I want to enjoy it.  I don't want to have to stop cackling to text myself the conversation.  It really takes away from my enjoyment of the moment.  So I'm torn.  I know everyone loves those posts, because they are, obviously, hilarious.  But it takes effort for me to laugh, then recall the conversation with perfect clarity and text it to myself.  Effort that I don't always want to put in.

So just know, I'm debating on whether or not to make more of an effort again for STGS posts.  I can't guarentee anything will change, but it's on my mind.

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PITA Professor straight up called me out on doing less good this semester than I did last semester.  HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Senioritis!

"Your performance thus far has been below your normal excellent performance, you can do better!

Also, this is specifically on his daily quizzes and often I mix up 2 definitions, which means that I don't just miss 1 question, but 2 and when a quiz has less than 10 questions, that's a pretty significant portion.  Maybe looking at the material would help, but mostly, IDGAF.  /shrug. And also.. if my average quiz grade is my lowest grade of 3 tests and the final exam, it will get dropped anyways.  #DoNotCurr.

I'm always really affected by disappointment, so while this comment makes me laugh on the outside, it is really getting under my skin.  I know that logically, of course, I am doing poorly because we've had 10 quizzes and I missed 2 of them when I was out sick (and we're not allowed to make them up), so those are probably also dragging my average down.  Like, I understand the LOGIC of why he'd write that comment, but I can literally do NOTHING to improve other than study better for quizzes, which I don't really care to stress myself out over.  I'm not sure why I'm still wrestling with this.

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Dear Spotify,
I haven't listened to Christmas music since December.  You can update my "Recently Played" playlists now... /facepalm

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Teh German is pretty bad about just going on Amazon and buying something, rather than doing any price comparing at other places we shop at (i.e. Sam's Club).  I'm hoping he learned his lesson recently when he paid double for an item on Amazon that he would have paid if he would have purchased it at Sam's.

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Dear Chase,
Thanks for free Doordash delivery for a year.  Now I might actually be tempted to use Doordash.

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First, there was just fat week.
Then, there was fat week and skinny week.
Then, there was fat week, motivated week, then skinny week.
Then.. there was fat week, motivated week, exhausted week, then skinny week.

This is all because having a uterus is a punishment.

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Forgetting to turn on the crockpot in the morning is why someone invented the instant (it's not fucking instant) pot.  But for us, it just means a valid excuse to ride the bikes to dinner... which is exactly what happened on Tuesday, despite Teh German getting home later than usually AND me having a test on Wednesday (which meant I need to study the night prior).

I was stressed out about being out late and then Suzi wouldn't start so he had to ride the Bobber (what a rough life having 2 motorcycles to choose from!).. And guess what, it was all fine.  We ended up riding to the Workshop for dinner and I had zero regrets.  We made it home by 8:15 and I was still able to go through the remainder of the test review

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I loved The Ranch.. until this last season.  I'm super disappointed to admit that.  This season, all the jokes felt trope-y, tired, and forced.  I did still have some LOL moments, but mostly, I wasn't sorry to play games on my phone while The Ranch was on the big screen.

Next up: Vikings.
Also, I was informed that I would really like Dark.  My German class loved the show, so I'm curious.

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I almost sent Teh German a cheesy valentine's day beer gift basket to his office on principle to be like, SEEE this is what people that like each other do...
But I didn't because... I'm a petty asshole.
Ya know, in case you were worried about me not being a petty asshole.  I still am.
Additionally, I already purchased a couples massage for us, so I can use my gift certificate that he got me for Christmas/being a good cheerleader during the job change drama and I already paid for his massage.  Soooooo yeah.  Not keeping score.  And also, I don't want to fuel my own bitterness.  Because that's probably what it would do.

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Someone brought in 2 Edward's frozen pies for Thanksgiving and they are still in the freezer since we had wayyy too much food for work Thanksgiving.  Fast forward to February and I've been helping myself to freezer pie since it's fat week.  I'm NOT FUCKING SORRY about it either.

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My Stats professor is the least "Citadel-y" professor I've ever had and I'm not even sad about it.  He straight up told us how to work out one problem during the test and he answered my question, even if it didn't really help me get the answer because something was missing.  I pulled a "when it doubt, c it out" and called it done.

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What it's like to work with me:

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Does anyone else feel like this week took a millionty days to finally get to Friday?  Because I'm confident that's exactly how many days it's been since last week.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Groceries
-Power bill.  $100 in the winter makes me stabby since that means our AC has been running... IN THE WINTER TIME.
-Denver hotel
-Denver rental car

DREI - From My Phone Shit

New sign after I removed the millionth k-cup before I was able to brew my own coffee:
After brewing, please remove your mold developing k-cup from the machine.
Queen of Passive-Aggressiva strikes again!

Ring selfies.
Not sorry
88 days when I took this.

My new Company hoodie came in.  Small is WAY better than the medium.
Too bad it's too fucking hot here to wear a hoodie.  :|

Saw an APV just rollin' down the street with a non-uniformed person chillin' from the manhole.
Filed under: Really fucking bizarre shit.

When you're almost to the office and realize it's a school day.
Thankfully, work is halfway to school, even if a little out of the way, so I still managed to make it to school in time to get decent parking and in time for my test.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

As much as you have given thought to the way things were before,
you can give mindful grace filled thoughts to the present all the more.
MHN

Who you are right now matters more than you know.
MHN

you do not have to be fearless to be confident.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Learning a new, EASIER, way to do work things.  Thanks to a coworker for taking the 10 minutes out of his busy day to help me and make me more productive and less of a burden on him.  #TeachAManToFish
2. The Chiro.  
3. Freezer pie.
4. Patience.  Even if it's only minimal.
5. Accurate #BarometerHead readings.
6. Looking forward to a massage all week long.
7. Not succumbing to my own pressure to go out for breakfast/lunch.
8. Riding to dinner with Teh German on Wednesday.
9. Baloo being paid off.
10. Chatting with Teh Bestie during our drives, even if our phones sometimes cut out and we call each other back so quickly that we get each other's voicemail. 

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Books Books Books! Fall 2019 Edition

Ok, so I'm month late on this one.  Mah bad.  There is a reason though.  So you see, what had happened was, last semester was... rough.  And subsequently, that meant not keeping track of my reading and also not achieving my Goodreads challenge (and accepting it gracefully with a no fucks given attitude) and not even creating a draft for this post (fret not, the "Winter 2020" draft has already been created).  Truthfully, something had to give me for me to stay afloat and reading really took the hit.  I made straight A's though, so I guess #WorthIt?

Audiobook and Run.
It's totally a thing.

I'm linking up with Steph and Jana for the Show Us Your Books linkup, because I needed motivation to post this post after being a slackass.


Ultimate TLDR** 
Definitely Read:  

• All Along You Were Blooming: Thoughts for Boundless Living by Morgan Harper Nichols
• Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane

Maybe Read:  

• Crossing Tinker's Knob/And Then You Loved Me by Inglath Cooper
• The Institute by Stephen King
• The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes

Hard Pass:  

• True West by Sam Shepard

Rating scale*:

1/5 - Hated it, DNF (did not finish).
2/5 - Tolerated it on principle to finish, didn't like it.
3/5 - Eh, didn't love it, didn't hate it. Had some good parts/kept me interested/finished it on principle.
3.5/5 - I liked parts of it.
4/5 - I liked the whole thing.
4.5/5 - I liked it a lot, but not sure I'd read it again.
5/5 - I LURVED it and I'd read it again.

*Subject to change based on my mood, the phase of the moon, or other unpredictable variables.
PS. Possible spoilers included in reviews.

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October/November 2019:

Oathbringer (The Stormlight Archive #3) by Brandon Sanderson   3.75/5 (Audible, audiobook)

This is the book that killed my ability to complete my Goodreads challenge.  When I started listening to this "gem" I was 4 books ahead of schedule.  When I finished, I was one book behind, WITH completing this book.  FML.  Other comments I wrote included the fact that I wouldn't continue on if book 4 was over 40 hours long, it wasn't a commitment I could make.

My actual review:
The story was good.. but LAWDDDDD this book trudddddged on and on and on and on and on and on.. and I don't need to know that the spheres are dun if you tell me someone ran out of Stormlight. I GET IT.

I guess was "DUN" with that shit.

Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals by Rachel Hollis   3/5 (Audible, audiobook)

I struggled with this book because there were things I couldn't really identify with (mom life, entrepreneur dreams, etc), but I was still able to take away some solid points. The bonus portion at the end of the audio book from a Rise event was a solid choice.  It actually made me tear up, but that might have been the affects of PMS.  I didn't love this one nearly as much as Girl, Wash Your Face, but I think GWYF came at exactly the right time, where this one didn't.  This mostly had to do with the fact that I had just finished Oathbringer and I wanted something that wasn't 55 hours long.  This fit the bill, even though I knew it wasn't the right time.  Oh well.

I think the biggest reason this book didn't resonate with me is because I am 110% ok with NOT being the boss.  I don't want to own my own business and I'm totally ok with the peon, be-told-what-to-do, life.  I like being able to go home at the end of the day and be DONE.  As a boss/manager, that's difficult to do.  Work/separation balance is extremely important to me.

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December 2019:

A Fire Sparkling by Julianne MacLean   3/5 (Kindle, ebook) 

A historical fiction story that involved sister twins, life during WW2, and a modern timeline too.  This book had me hooked pretty quickly and I didn't hate it, but parts of it felt unbelievable.  I also still have no idea how much time actually passed in the modern timeline.  I will say I didn't expect what happened to actually be what happened, but it was logical as you went on.  Also, the drama of the modern timeline was unnecessary and childish, IMO.

Crossing Tinker's Knob/And Then You Loved Me by Inglath Cooper   3.75/5 (Kindle, ebook) 

IDK why Goodreads has this listed with a different title than on the cover of the book, but whatever.  I enjoyed this book but felt that parts of it pushed believability, or maybe not.  I never decided.  Emma's decision was a relief to me because I was tired of that storyline.  The mom made me hate her quick.  Becca started to get on my nerves but I couldn't help but like her.  I finished this pretty quick, so I was hooked right away and couldn't put it down/had a lot of free time.

Dark Age (Red Rising Saga #5) by Pierce Brown   3/5 (Audible, audiobook)   

This book was extremely gory and 85% of the book was battles while the remaining 15% was character interactions between characters with Roman names.  It had been so long since I read the prior books that I had no idea what side anyone was on anymore.  It ultimately sorted itself out, but it was pretty distracting for a while.  Part of me wants to know what happens to Darrow and Virginia and Sevro and Victoria, but after having to slog through parts of this, I'm not sure I am committed enough to find out.

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January 2020:

You Can Thank Me Later: A Novella by Kelly Harms   3/5 (Audible, audiobook novella)  

A Thanksgiving novella from Audible, a freebie.  This was a meh for me.  Not bad, but not good.  Despite not being very long, it got repetitious quickly; family gathering for Thanksgiving, some in between life, family gathering for Thanksgiving (same drama), in-between life, family gathering for Thanksgiving.  /rolleyes.  Cute premise but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

I understand it's a novella and supposed to be short, but we spent a long time on repeating what had already happened and then it was like, OH YEAH, sorry we didn't pay you attention all these years because we were more focused on someone else... THE END.

True West by Sam Shepard   1-DNF/5 (Audible, free audiobook novella)  

This was so stupid that it was intolerable.

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane   4.5/5 (Audible, audiobook) 

I was hooked by 15% and that's unusual for my hyper-critical self. I appreciated how this book ended, even if every single issue wasn't tied up perfectly. This story felt REAL which is probably why I enjoyed it so much.

The Institute by Stephen King   4.5/5 (Kindle, ebook, won from SUYB!)  

This book had me hooked by 10%, which is rare. Luke is a child prodigy with special skills. Tim is a not-cop in Podunk. Ultimately, their stories will come together. I appreciated the realistic rawness of the story-telling, even if sometimes vulgar and almost unbelievable (it's fiction, so duh). It has been many years since I read a Stephen King book and I can't remember why I stopped now.

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes   4.25/5 (Audible, audiobook)  

I listened to this on audio and was not disappointed by the narrator's voices for the different characters and her KY accent. I was disappointed that Alice's inner voice wasn't with an English accent, but oh well.

Story wise, this story felt like historic fiction based on real life events, like these people could have actually lived. I was quickly drawn into the story, always a relief not to have to trod on and on waiting to get to the part that hooks you, and was genuinely curious how this would end, even though I had a solid (correct) hunch.

I did get a little tired of hearing how much sex everyone but Alice was having, but otherwise, very enjoyable.

All Along You Were Blooming: Thoughts for Boundless Living by Morgan Harper Nichols   5/5 (own, hard copy)  

MHN's new poetry book.  I preordered this the same day she sent the email that said she was releasing a book.  I had favorite "stories" but can't remember off the top of my head which ones they were.  Guess that means a re-read is in my future.

That said, I feel like this would have been better on the Kindle because then you can zoom in to read some of the tiny cursive and, depending on your device, you can screenshot and share.  Because it's not a standard book, it's a quick read.

There will be days when you do not feel
fearless
and you choose to get up
and go out anyway.

And my friend,
let me tell you,
that is what it means to be breave.
It is that gentle shove toward the water
that says "I will go,
and I will go afraid."

It is not a feeling.
It is not a thought.
It is that inward wind that pulls you out of sleep
and says "I will go forth,
with all I have now;
a breath, a dozen steps,
and a pocket full of fears,
but no matter what tries to pull me back,
I will find the strength to be here."
(Morgan Harper Nichols)

**TLDR: To long, didn't read.

Weekend Review {2/10}

FRIDAY

Birthday do-over day.  It was shaping up to be a great day, then people started dropping out of the already paid for by me birthday event I had planned.  My intention was to just have people give me money, splitting the cost evenly between the participants, but I had already told people the price with 10 people and felt bad adjusting it for 7... sooooo NEVER.FUCKING.AGAIN.  Also, when you tell someone you can't come to an event 3 hours prior, that leaves them with no way to replace you because no one else has time to be able to arrange to come.  Fun facts.  I ultimately just swallowed the money loss because we all had fun, but still, it was more than I had anticipated spending and it stressed me out.

Nonetheless, fun was had.  We were all sweaty and exhausted when we left.  Next time, I'd definitely only do 30 minutes or so.  By 45 minutes, most of the stuff we'd been given was completely busted, which is the point.  The problem becomes that when you keep hitting stuff that is made of steel and isn't going to budge, you are only hurting yourself.. as proven by everyone's soreness the following days.

After smashing, we went to Kaminsky's for desserts/beverages.  Teh German and I had dinner prior to breaking stuff at Sesame, so I wasn't really hungry, but I've been wanting to try the brownie sundae for ages, so I finally did....

My opinion: I can make a MUCH better brownie sundae.  The brownie was super dry, which I don't like and any monkey can put ice cream and caramel/chocolate sauce in a bowl.  Soooo, next time I'll stick with the beverages and make my own brownie sundae.

After desserts, we headed home and went to bed.

SATURDAY

Teh German had to work on Saturday and I could have gotten up and went on a run or done productive things, but I did not.  Meri and I snuggled.  Then when Teh PT Wife messaged me and asked if I wanted to bring the dogs over to play with the Great Dane they were dog sitting, I said yes.  Of course, my retard dogs did NOT play.  Meri just avoided the Dane the whole time.  Pax was only interested in chasing the Dane when he'd run to fetch the balls that Teh PT Husband would throw.  /facepalm.  This is my life.

Since the dogs had been at doggy daycare on Friday, they were already tired.  In addition to being outside for a few hours on Saturday, Pax pretty much dropped on a dog bed immediately when we got home for a nap.  Teh German was home when we came home and we ended up deciding to be lazy and not productive for the rest of the day.

We watched The Ranch and paused for dinner and finished The Ranch and the watched the Caps lose in an epic way against the Flyers.

After the game, we went to bed.

SUNDAY

I handled the dogs on Sunday morning, trying to give Teh German the opportunity to sleep in.  We had discussed that Sunday was productive day since Saturday was not.  Teh German ended up getting up soon after me.  I showered and had breakfast and was headed to the grocery store by 0900.  I had to get mushrooms for my spaghetti sauce and some other groceries.  Since I needed the sauce for the lasagna I was making for dinner, which still had to cook, I had to get to the store early so the sauce would have time to cook + time to build and cook the lasagna, blah blah blah.

A few years ago, I bought an electric can opener as a white elephant Christmas gift.  The recipient left it at our house.  Then I brought it to work as a white elephant Christmas gift.  It ended up back at the office and stayed in the kitchen waiting for a home for over a year.  Within the last 6 months, I finally brought it home and decided that when I do my crockpot dump recipes, I'll just use it to open all the cans instead of cramping up my hand to open a millionty cans.  After having to open all those cans of tomato paste/sauce, I have ZERO regrets about finally homing the electric can opener.  It feels like 1993 in my house since I grew up with an electric can opener, but I don't even care.  My forearms and hands are/were especially sore after smashing shit on Friday, so having to open all those cans manually would have been a form of torture.

In addition to cooking productivity, Teh German handled the backyard and also made medal boards for Teh PT Wife and I.  As soon as he was done sanding them, I wiped them down and painted my board.  I used the cricut and cut out a quote for my board, put it on, painted over it after the first coat was dry, then waited.  I peeled off the stickers while Teh PT Wife was making her color selections.  While I was making lasagna, Teh German drilled the holes for the hooks and put the hanging devices on the back.  After dinner, I hung the board (no measuring took place, kthx).

I'm pleased with how it came out, imperfections and all.  For Teh PT Wife's board, we are doing a single color and just putting the stickers over it, rather than the 2 paint layers.  This will ensure clear cut lettering.  She already picked out her quote, but I'm waiting on Teh Bestie's white vinyl to arrive to cut it, since I also have a project for Teh Bestie to cut on the white vinyl.

I had so many options for something to put on the rack.. and as Teh German was sanding the board, I came up with this idea.
Other options included:
Sacrifices were made.
It was a good idea at the time.

After all the sauce and leftover lasagna was partitioned out in bowls and my kitchen mess was cleaned up, I packed my backpack for Monday, and then headed to the couch for screen time.

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Overall, a great weekend.  I wish I could motivate myself to go run, but it's just not there right now.  I'm using the cough as an excuse, I know.  I also know that I would ENJOY going on a run.  The weather this weekend was perfect, but so was laying in the bed with Meri.  This week it's going to be in the 70s again (blech) and that's just rude.

Next weekend is Teh German's last weekend having to work at the German company.  It is bittersweet.  We have our birthday/valentine's day couples massage on Friday, but otherwise, it's a quiet week, which has me on alert.

Fun fact: the best solution for an incessant cough is being in the room when an old printer is being "Office Space"-ed (aka beat to shit) and there is a toner cartridge in the printer that breaks open.  Not only do you have interesting snot for 12 hours but you'll cough and cough and cough and cough (and pee) and then the next day, you'll notice that you're almost not coughing compared to the week prior.

Five on Friday #225

EINS - Random Shit

A while ago the Gmail inbox UI was revamped and there was a stupid thing that when you hovered over the left side bar, it would expand and I'd always accidentally hover over it and click on shit I didn't mean to while trying to click other things.  Well, I got fed up with this shit and finally decided to Google how to fix it and there was a stupid simple fix and I'm mad I dealt with it for so long, but it's fixed now and no more accidental clicks and life is good.

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Thank you for any and all birthday well-wishes.  I'm gonna be honest.  My actual birthday fucking sucked for so many reasons, not the first one being the lingering sickness and subsequent coughing that is making me pee in my pants (because I'm 3 years old, tyvm).

Apparently that mask really fucked up the color balance of my camera?

Additionally, Teh German did the standard grocery store flowers and card and picked up cannoli cupcakes because "I know you like cannolis" but that was all the effort put into my birthday.  It had been decided week before last that we'd go to my fave Mexican place for dinner, which I'd already mentioned to him.  Fun reminder: I bought him hockey tickets with seats ON THE ICE for his bday, but ya know, it's fine he didn't bother to do anything for/get me anything... I'm not petty.

That's a fucking lie.  I'm petty AF and he couldn't even be bothered to put any thought into any ideas for me (HIS WIFE FOR FUCKING EVER (even if some days it's pure spite that I will stick around)) and I'm quite disappointed and when I did tell him, despite feeling like I'm being petty (because I am), he responded with, "Oh well, you can just bitch about it on your blog," but also, for the 2nd year in a row, my feelings were quite crushed.  Especially after he pointed out the florist where he usually orders flowers to be delivered for me when we passed it recently (prior to my bday).

So on Wednesday morning when he mentioned something about the bday celebration on Friday, I pointedly said, "It's my birthday do-over day since my actual birthday sucked so fucking bad, so if you have any regrets, this is your opportunity to remedy those."  I could literally feel the hint going over his head.

In case you were confused, THIS is marriage, Gentle Readers.  The NOT wanting to telling your significant other how disappointed you are in them that they can't be bothered to put any effort into a SINGLE DAY to celebrate you because you don't want them to feel like you're being critical of them because you don't want to hurt their feelings.

Get married, they said.  It will be fun, they said.

Update from later in the week:
I know it's just flowers and I'm over it after Matilda had flowers delivered to me.  I did finally cut the flowers that Teh German got me and arranged them in the vase better.  Yes, I'm still petty AF, but like, even my cold-heartedness has to give at some point.

Also, being angry is exhausting.

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Because of this fucking illness, I missed a medal giving half marathon and I'm kinda pissed about it.  Fortunately, it wasn't a super expensive race.  Teh PT Wife asked me if I deferred and I told her I just considered it a donation since the funds raised were to go towards saving the Morris Lighthouse.  Maybe next year.

Charlotte Hot Chocolate 15k with Matilda and Teh Bestie is my next upcoming race.
Then the Myrtle Beach 5k with Teh PT Wife for the Bless Your Heart medal.
Then Rock n Roll DC Half Marathon with Matilda and Teh Bestie.
Then I have some races on the calendar as suggestions, but no race commitments until June, which are local 5ks, and then July which is Rock n Roll Chicago with Matilda and The Bestie.

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If you REQUIRE Internet Exploder as the required browser in 2020, you are obsolete and need to spend the money to fix yourself.  YES, even if you are the motherfucking United States Department of Defense/Department of the Navy.  Maybe we should put some of that GDP to improving morale by improving mandatory training to be relevant in all the ways and less frustrating to complete.

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I love word etymologies and I recently came across an article that gave an etymology of the word "fuck" which obviously spoke to my soul.

The article is about 2020 masculinity, so it was an overall interesting read, but the etymology really got my goat.

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Is couple's therapy an acceptable valentine's gift?  Asking for a friend...

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NBD, but I am the 2020 Swain Family School of Science and Mathematics Outstanding Veteran Student and I'm super pumped about it.  At first I thought it was just like "outstanding veteran student" from the Computer Science dept and I was gonna be like, I'm THE ONLY outstanding veteran student graduating this year...

But then I realized it was ALL Science AND Math vet students and I'm like.. way more impressed with myself.  That includes Biology, Chemistry, Cyber and Computer Sciences, Health and Human Performance, Mathematical Sciences, Nursing and Physics.

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These fools after a family stroll in the rain:

He came in, sloshed water all over the floor, then flopped down.
He did at least lift his head for a photo.
#GOOFLIFE

Damp Meri is cute and dry Meri is adorable...
But wet Meri is the stuff of nightmares,
trust me on this.
This is damp Meri.

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When Coworker suggested the unicorn cake for our February birthday cake, I was like FUCK YES.  If it looks vaguely familiar, it's because that's the same birthday cake selection I made for my birthday gathering last year.  This is funfetti flavored and I'm super pumped.

It says, "Magical year to come?"
The bakery put an ! instead of a ? and we made them change it back to a ?.
I always make sure to put something ridiculous on the work birthday cake.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-All the utility bills.  IDK why they all seemed to come at the same time this month, but necessities.
-bully sticks
-2021 Charleston Half
-Stupid credit card annual fee (#Rage, but travel rewards, so #TradeOffs)
-A million medical bills
-Flight to DC for the Rock N Roll DC race with Matilda and Teh Bestie, but I used my credit card travel rewards so I only had to pay the $11 in taxes, so the #TradeOff has been validated
-Birthday Bojangles (when the day was still young and full of hope)
-Groceries
-Sinus rinse bottles
-New 12 ft power cable for the monitor on my desk so I can arrange my desk in a less cramped way.
-Dog food
-Vet bills for nail clips and vaccines/boosters.  It's been over $150 per visit for the past 2 months and I'm ready for that shit to stop right NOAW.
-Birthday do-over Bojangles.
-Local 5k in June

DREI - From My Phone Shit

What doing German homework looks like these days.
Although I've started adding more translation windows, zooming in on the questions, and splitting more windows for more things.  I'm over it.

Sickness meant not being able to celebrate when my countdown finally got below 100 days.
This is 94 days.

This Moose.  <3 

He's such a goof.
And then Meri like, why would you be paying HIM attention when I'm right here.

I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better.

Birthday week at work.
I love my bday ears, but the band squeezes my head and I figured this was slightly more subtle.

The best part of my birthday:
Lingua chimichanga with a side of cilantro.

Here's what we say about this coworker:
It's his world, we just live in it.
Ugggggh.  Why can't people be considerate of others?

It cost $1.10 for all this.
See also: how I soothe shitty-shit.

Birthday flowers from Matilda!  <3

Teh German likes lentils, so I made lentil curry.
I'm not a huge Indian food fan, but this was packed full of healthy healths, so fine.

TACO SOUP.
Teh German's specialty is making schnitzel or kasespatzel.
My specialty is taco.mother.fucking.soup. 

VIER - From the Internet Shit

take it one wave at a time.
MHN

BE.FUCKING.BETTER

I know it is so hard to take deep breaths on days like this but every single one you take is a sign of strength...
A small and beautiful rebellion to the darkness that thought it had you.
MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Not being contagious.
2. Designated birthday do-over day.
3. My Spotify On Repeat playlist + subsequent songs via their algorithm which can be hit or miss.
4. 2020 Swain Family School of Science and Mathematics Outstanding Veteran Student
5. Accomplishing Tech Writer things.
6. Annual raise + expectations chat.
7. Teh German dropping up/picking up the beasts for doggy daycare today.  I already handled both of them on my own for their vet visit this week and it is always super anxiety inducing for me, which Meri feeds off of, and then we're all a disaster.
8. Handling the laundry promptly all week, like the fucking Laundry Fairy Master I am.
9. Teh Bestie listening to my woes.  She's got a lot of her own shit going on and she still helps me manage my life. <3
10. Teh German helping me with the laundry one night and suggesting a family walk, despite the rain.  Yes, I bitch a lot, but when I watch him while he sleeps, I still have like, nice feelings for him and like love and stuff, so.. he's not so bad all the time.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

34 Years

I've been up since 0300 this morning with my brain on high and it's only 0830 and I'm, expectedly, exhausted.  Oh yeah, it's my birthday, so I'm glad that my brain was like, YAS QUEEN!  WAKE UP AND CELEBRATE YOU DAY!  Yep, at 0300!  CELEEEEBBRRRAAATTEE!!!  Jk, I'm not glad about that, but there was nothing I could do about it other than try to go back to sleep (didn't work) and think all the thoughts.  So here we are.

I pregamed most of the week prior to my birthday with the flu and it was just as epic as you can imagine.  I am still confident that death would have been preferable to enduring that garbage again.  Spending all that time alone in bed gave me plenty of time to have loopy, Tamiflu/cough syrup induced thoughts.

In addition to that good time, Teh German and I haven't been on the same page in such a long time that if I wasn't exhausted from being awake since 0300 or recovering from the flu, that alone would make me weary.

Continuing on, a phone call with Teh Dad on Saturday got under my skin and I came to a decision around 0345 this morning and acted on that decision this morning after I received a HBD text from Teh Dad.

Finally, I rarely set any yearly goals in January because I just don't know what to goals to set that early in the year.  Based on all of the factors listed above, I finally came up with my 2020 goal.

BE BETTER.

85% of this came from my conversation with Teh Dad.  What had happened was...  I was ranting, as I do, about how crappy of a nurse Teh German had been throughout my sickness.  I felt this way for 2 reasons, 1- because he was a crappy nurse after day 1.5 of being sick since "You've been sick for way longer than I expected.", 2- because I put expectations on people who help me that they would help me in the same way I helped them when they were sick, which was to go above and beyond, mitigating any needs before they ever occurred.  Teh German always had at least one full cup of water by the bed and I also made sure that if I left, he had full water bottle and a full cup of water.  I also ensured that he ate lunch and dinner when he was in bed all day.

Teh Dad argued, "Men just aren't as good as nurses as wives.  [Stepmom] says the same thing about me.  We're not wired the same way."  Gentle Readers, go ahead and imagine what it would look like if a head exploded in a car as someone was driving..  because that almost applied.  This morning when Teh Dad texted me HBD, I finally responded that I'd been considering our conversation since Saturday, without as much medication in my system and had feelings.  This particular feeling:

If you KNOW you are deficient and not meeting expectations in some way and you are using whatever is between your legs as an excuse, it's a cop out.  BE BETTER.  That's the solution.  NOT DO better, BE better.  BE a better nurse.  Don't be shitty.

But this doesn't just apply to taking care of your significant other when they are sick, it applies to everyone all the time.  JUST BE BETTER.  I can admit that I will have to really make an effort to BE BETTER in some ways (i.e. traffic/road rage) and there are times that I put 1000% of me into making sure I'm doing my best (i.e. taking care of Teh German when he is sick or needs moral support).  Being better is a give-and-take situation.  Sometimes, being better will look different from one moment to the next, from one person to another.  But to BE BETTER is not an impossible goal.

Do not let yourself settle for "good enough" when BETTER is minimal to no more effort than "good enough" would take.

Be better for your spouse.
Be better for your kid/s/dog/s/pet/s.
Be better for your friends.
Be better for your community.
Be better for strangers.
But mostly...
BE BETTER FOR YOU.

Five on Friday #224

Let me make this quick with 5 words:

I have the influenza virus.

Weekend Review {1/27}

FRIDAY

When you spend an obscene amount of time in the bathroom, you learn new things.. like the fact that your soap container is glow in the dark.  YAY for clearance halloween soap.

Also, when your dogs are fucking creepers, you will NOT poop alone.  Even though you're living in the bathroom.  No man gets left behind.. and if you dare to shut the door, all you'll hear outside the bathroom is the sound of dog feet dragging on the floor like their leg weigh triple their entire body weight.  Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

And that's essentially the tale of that one time Megan couldn't stop pooping for 36 hours.  Not sure if it was food poisoning or a virus but either way, no thank you.  Since I had morphed into a poop monster, I notified my PM at 0443 that I would NOT be coming into the office since I was probably going to change my permanent address to my toilet.

I did manage to sit through class and it was a mad dash after class was over to get to the bathroom.  After, I went to pick up my race packet, got gas, picked up flushable wipes, and by the time I made it home, it was bathroom time again.  Teh Bestie encouraged me to take some Imodium, which I discovered we had (since I had forgotten it when I was at Walmart, even though I knew I was forgetting something) even though it was expired.

When I got home, I did more work things and took the beasts on a walk and took care of Teh German's chores and ensured that Teh German didn't die and was unmotivated for the majority of the evening.

Teh German spent the entire day in bed.  He came home Thursday afternoon from work feeling poorly and he was already in bed when I made it upstairs (after I had come home and then had to spend some time in the bathroom).  He called someone at work to let them know he wasn't coming in because he was sick and went back to sleep and that's where he stayed.  When I got home from school, I fed him soup for lunch and ensured he was medicated.  He texted me from bed to inquire where his meds were later in the evening and I asked what he wanted for dinner and delivered it to him with his meds.  I was kinda pissed to see that he was functional when I delivered dinner, having turned the bedroom lights on and was scrolling, but couldn't be bothered to come downstairs to feed himself, but fine.

After he ate, I brought his dirty dishes back downstairs, started the dishwasher, did my own pre-bedtime chores/grooming and went to bed.  When I said that it was lights out, there was no question about it.  Thankfully, Teh German didn't argue, because if he had, his ass would have been kicked out of the bedroom.  #NotSorry.

I kinda felt like Nurse Rachet about him being sick and then I felt like I was being taken advantage of after serving an alert, functional Teh German dinner in bed.  Mostly because I don't feel like I receive that same type of treatment when I'm sick, but let's not keep score.

SATURDAY

Saturday, Teh German got up at regular work time and headed to his former German company to work one of the agreed upon Saturdays for training his replacement.  This was not an issue for me since I was doing the Post Charlie Classic 15k at Sullivans Island. 

Knowing the course was boring AF reallyyyyy helped me not get bogged down this year, unlike last year.  I stopped to pet a greyhound and take selfies with the library and the beach and I walked at the water stops.  RunKeeper said my time was 10:34/mile, but the race tracker said 10:44/mile and I'm going with the faster time on principle.

After my race, I stopped by Metto and picked up treats for myself, Teh German, and his replacement, then I dropped them off at the company.  I had considered messaging Teh German beforehand, but I was afraid he'd tell me not to come, so I didn't.

I went home and walked the dogs and talked to Teh Granny for 3 hours.  I was not planning on that time commitment.  I took a bath while I was talking to her and couldn't wet my hair because every time I said I needed to get off the phone, she'd start up talking again.  Like, I love my Granny the most, but jjjjjeeezzzzuuuuussssssss. 

Eventually, I did get off the phone because Granny started fussing that when she was looking for something, she wanted peace and quiet to do it, and I was like, uhhhhh ok, byeeeeeee.  Teh German and I took to the couches for recovery time with Meri.

I think we dozed for a short while, but we did eventually get up.  We went to Page's Okra Grill for dinner because I wanted chicken livers, then we accomplished our grocery shopping at Sam's and Walmart.

When we got back home, I put away the groceries and Teh German turned on the NHL All-Star game.  I wasn't overly interested and I was tired, so I went up to bed and read until Teh German came to bed.

I ended up finishing my Stephen King book after Teh German came to bed.  I also finished the Jojo Moyes audiobook on my way home from the race.  Woot, book accomplishments.

SUNDAY

I got up earlier than I felt it was on Sunday, around 0930, feeling like it was 1030 at least.  I finished up the laundry that I'd been avoiding since Friday (using the excuse that Teh German was trying to rest on Friday and recuperation on Saturday) and went downstairs and had breakfast.  Then it was homework time.

I really hate when I put stuff on shelves and it just slides around and falls off in the floor...
so I finally decided to hang my running skirts.

In working up to be motivated to do homework, I picked out the colors for my next medal rack that I'm waiting on Teh German to size and sand for me to paint and cut stickers on the Cricut.  Grey will be the letter color, I'll then put the decal on, then paint over it with the green, then peel the stickers.  Hopefully it won't look too bad.  We'll see what happens.

I did finally chug through my German homework and looking over the suggested readings for my databases class.  I considered doing Stats homework, but we haven't covered the questions yet and rather than be frustrated, I figured I'd just wait for the lecture. 

I finished my homework at 3, right as Teh German left to go to some brewery event with Teh PT Husband and Teh Ret AF Maintainer, so I had to deal with my boredom all by myself.

I did go over to Teh PT House for a little bit to visit with the Huddie-Wuddie and we watched some Zucko's baking challenge show on Netflix that we enjoyed snarking.  But then it was doggy dinner time and I headed home to ensure the beasts didn't die of starvation.  I settled on the couch for a little bit to play my stupid game and read and scroll.  Teh German wasn't home by 8:30 so I headed up to bed and read my MHN book and finally went to sleep.  Teh German came home while I was still reading, but didn't come upstairs before I went to sleep.  Oh well.

______________________________________________

Overall, a decent weekend, despite the ending of the week being so... poopy.  I didn't have any issues during my run (no runS, ha!), so all the praise hands for that.  I also felt confident with my time and I will have a good feeling going into the half marathon next weekend.

This coming week is rather busy.
-The beasts will be doing their trial daycare run at the boarding place.
-Teh PT Kid's bday
-VA appt on Friday
-My bday celebration event on Friday night.
-Saturday is the half marathon and Teh PT Kid's bday gathering (which I will make bday mac and cheese for him)
-Sunday is that stupid football game that everyone cares about
-Monday is my BIRFDAY!!!

I'm still kinda struggling with how little demand for my time school has this semester.  Granted, I really should be doing more research stuff.. but YOLO.

Other things I need to accomplish are booking lodging for Teh German and I in Denver and reserving a rental car.  I need to get with Matilda and Teh Bestie to see what the lodging situation is for Charlotte later in Feb.  There's also something else I'm forgetting.. but I'm sure I'll remember eventually..

Happy End of January, Gentle Readers!