But sometimes, I look at other people's lives and get jealous. I see that they are married and they have kids and a house and a dog and I think to myself, why isn't that me? I do. Sometimes, I get lost in things I don't have, because of decisions I made.
I question the decisions of Past Teh Megan, did you make the right choice? Would you have changed your mind if you'd have known this would be the outcome?
I know these questions are often futile. Silly even. But, I appreciate the perspective I gain on looking back at where I've come from, what I've accomplished (or not), dreams I have yet to fulfill.
Most of the time when I think back, I realize that I did make right choices. I made the best choice under those circumstances. I did the best thing for me. Rarely ever do I think that I would have changed my mind on decisions I've made.
Yes, I would have still worn that tye-dye t-shirt and those plaid pajama pants, even though I looked homeless. That was the most comfortable outfit I owned. Yes, I would have still went to NC State. Yes, I would have joined the Navy. Yes, I would have ended that relationship... and that one too... and that one too.
Sometimes, I get lost in things I don't have that other people do. I get lost because other people seem to enjoy these things that I don't have. I wonder if I'm missing out on something. I realize that maybe I am actually missing out on these things... but at the cheap expense of NOT missing out on all the things that I do have.
I'm a world traveler. This wasn't true 3.5 years ago.
I'm a dog owner. This was half true 3 years ago, and completely true before then, but it is completely true again.
I was debt free. Until I bought a new car because I can.
I'm a new car owner.
I've lived alone.
I've had a roommate.
I've had lots of roommates.
I have a college degree.
I want for nothing.
I need for nothing.
There are actually people that are jealous of my life. Woah.
So, I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have my own house... all things that I get lost in that other people have. But, I have an awesome life... sometimes I forget that. Sometimes, I jog my own memory when I watch my screensaver flash from GTMO, Raleigh, Home Home, MD, VA, Bahrain, IL, NC mountains, DC.. when I see people like Teh Bear, Teh BFF, Miss Reflective, Shoulda Been a Cowgirl, Miss Difficult Last Name, Teh Ginger, Teh Lumberjack, Mr. Voice and Mrs. Boomkin, Worldwide Jesus Lover, Teh Family, Teh Granny.. so many people.
No regrets? Maybe not. Minimal regrets? Definitely.
|Best shirt ever.|