Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Taking the road less traveled.

Let me start this off by saying, I have a great life.  There are some difficult parts, but overall, I have a great life.  I chose this life.

But sometimes, I look at other people's lives and get jealous.  I see that they are married and they have kids and a house and a dog and I think to myself, why isn't that me?  I do.  Sometimes, I get lost in things I don't have, because of decisions I made.

I question the decisions of Past Teh Megan, did you make the right choice?  Would you have changed your mind if you'd have known this would be the outcome?

I know these questions are often futile.  Silly even.  But, I appreciate the perspective I gain on looking back at where I've come from, what I've accomplished (or not), dreams I have yet to fulfill.

Most of the time when I think back, I realize that I did make right choices.  I made the best choice under those circumstances.  I did the best thing for me.  Rarely ever do I think that I would have changed my mind on decisions I've made.

Yes, I would have still worn that tye-dye t-shirt and those plaid pajama pants, even though I looked homeless.  That was the most comfortable outfit I owned.  Yes, I would have still went to NC State.  Yes, I would have joined the Navy.  Yes, I would have ended that relationship... and that one too... and that one too.

Sometimes, I get lost in things I don't have that other people do.  I get lost because other people seem to enjoy these things that I don't have.  I wonder if I'm missing out on something.  I realize that maybe I am actually missing out on these things... but at the cheap expense of NOT missing out on all the things that I do have.

I'm a world traveler.  This wasn't true 3.5 years ago.
I'm a dog owner.  This was half true 3 years ago, and completely true before then, but it is completely true again.
I was debt free.  Until I bought a new car because I can.
I'm a new car owner.
I've lived alone.
I've had a roommate.
I've had lots of roommates.
I have a college degree.  That I have never professionally applied.
I want for nothing.
I need for nothing.
There are actually people that are jealous of my life.  Woah.

So, I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have my own house... all things that I get lost in that other people have.  But, I have an awesome life...  sometimes I forget that.  Sometimes, I jog my own memory when I watch my screensaver flash from GTMO, Raleigh, Home Home, MD, VA, Bahrain, IL, NC mountains, DC.. when I see people like Teh Bear, Teh BFF, Miss Reflective, Shoulda Been a Cowgirl, Miss Difficult Last Name, Teh Ginger, Teh Lumberjack, Mr. Voice and Mrs. Boomkin, Worldwide Jesus Lover, Teh Family, Teh Granny.. so many people.

No regrets?  Maybe not.  Minimal regrets?  Definitely.

Best shirt ever.

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