Friday, July 5, 2013

Adventures with Teh Sister... The Roadtrip Text Log

While on our road trip to and from NY for our cousin's wedding, we kept a log of some of the ridiculous stuff that we would say...  and by we I mean, something ridiculous would go down and I'd tell Teh Sister to text it to me..  Thus, the roadtrip text log was born.
You're welcome, Gentle Readers.

Despite all the years of me telling her she was adopted,
we're obviously related in some way.

While driving through Baltimore, I was changing lines and there was a cyclist on my right and I was trying to turn right, "Where'd that biker guy go?   Oh shit!"  No one was hit in the process of my right turn.

Teh Sister was giving me directions while driving through Baltimore:
tS: You're supposed to turn right, right there.
tM *driving past turn*:  That's nice.

When going on trips as a kid, Teh Dad was a slave driver about getting on the road and only stopping once for all things (gas, food, and bathroom breaks).  Teh StepMom on the other hand is the extreme opposite of this.  She usually leaves late(r than Teh Dad has decided to leave), she will stop as often as she feels like it (to shop, to pee, to get gas, for any reason).  This makes Teh Dad crazy.
Teh Megan:  I was definitely more of a [Teh StepMom] than Teh Dad this trip.

While entering the town of Mawhaw:
Teh Sister:  Mawhaw-ah ah ah (like The Count from Sesame Street)

Someone was driving in front of me going not as fast as I wanted to go, and he finally got in the right lane.
tS: Do you want me to stare at him?
tM: Are you already?
tS *in a low voice*: Maybe.
tM: Did it affect him?
tS: Maybe the wife.
tM: Oh.
tS: I had the Starbucks plug* between my teeth while I was smiling.
tM: That's like having a piece of straw hanging out of your mouth, you redneck.
*Starbucks plug = that green thing you put in the cap to keep the coffee from spilling out.

Teh Sister *points to windshield*:  That's fresh, I just watched him splat.  BUGSPLAT!*
*Bugsplat is a term that comes from a trip to the Outer Banks when we were younger.  We drove through some farm land and it sounded like it was raining we hit so many bugs.  We had to stop at a gas station to wash off the windshield because the wipers were just smearing the guts across the windshield.

Teh Sister mumbles something.
tM: Did you just say you were eating bugs for breakfast?
tS: No, I just said that burp was delightful.

Teh Sister was being silly and using her dog tags as monocles.  The dog tags drop from her face and she exclaims: Wait!  Is it foggy outside?
tM:  I just said that it was smokey case the construction zone.
tS: It wasn't foggy a minute ago!

While talking to Teh Dad, I missed my signs for I-87N and we ended up going around Schenectady, NY.
tM: Message Teh Dad and tell him that it's his fault I missed my sign and now we had to drive all the way around Albany and through Shank-the-Titty!

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga playing on the iPod.
tS:  Mmm, my dog tags smell good.
tM *raises eyebrow*:  I think the timing was poor on that statement.

Teh Megan as we were behind a Chevrolet: Is there a mustache on the back of that car?  Oh, nevermind, that's just the Chevy symbol....  My bad.

tS:  Maybe we should just go to Canada.
tM: Do you have your passport?
tS: Ye... no.

While listening to Mumford and Sons' I Will Wait Teh Sister and I simultaneously burst into air banjo playing at the same time..  Video was made.  It will be in the recap post.

Teh Sister to her phone: You told me to login and I did with my Facebook, now tell me how much my toll roads are YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
(She had been quietly trying to figure out the problem until this outburst took me by surprise)

An 18 wheeler cut off a car in front of us on the interstate.
tS: Fucking Canadians.*
As we start to pass the truck, Teh Sister leans forward, squinting: Wait, are they from Canada?
tM: Yes, Quebec.  (my license place assessment)
tS *fist pump*:  Yeaaaahhh!! Fucking Canadians!
*We don't truly hate Canadians, our Gramps always expressed his frustration with Canadian drivers when we visited and it's funny to us now.

I was yelling at pretty much every driver on the road and about every possible thing that could annoy me.
tS:  Are you hangry?  Do you want a cold drink or some ice cream?
Ironically, we were on our way to Moe's to get dinner.

While LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem is playing on radio I was dancing.
tM:  My steering wheel dancing is much better than my full body dancing.

We were almost back to S.MD and we pass a SUV.  We weren't too far ahead of the when they turned their bright lights back on, which made me start road raging.
tM:  I am tempted to pull off the road and bright light behind him! .......apparently I'm really grumpy at 2am.

Teh Sister and I had lunch in DC while Yurtle was getting her 30,000 mile makeover.  She didn't want to have to drive around DC, so I drove "Whitey" (a 2000 Chrysler Cirrus).
tM:  Holy freakin low to the ground.  That's his license plate....  AND HIS EXHAUST PIPES!

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