Tuesday, April 6, 2021


I was reading Buy Yourself the Fucking Lilies (or maybe it was Love Warrior?) either way, the author was talking about how people NEED physical touch.  Despite how un-touchy your family may have been when you were child, if you were always hugged and touched and petted or if your family was not huggers or touchers, human beings are animals that thrive when touched.

Touch is a form of intimacy.

Teh German and I have touch rituals... but upon reading that, I realized that Teh German and I barely touched... like ever.  A pre-sleepy-time peck on the lips if Teh German comes to bed before I fall asleep, a quick peck before one of us leaves to go anywhere, maybe a quick peck after a workout, a pre-work peck.. but that was it.  I thought back and realized this had changed when Teh German started working from home.  Things started shifting when I was staying home all the time.  I wasn't getting out of bed with Teh German and we weren't heading out to face the day at the same time.  When we'd leave the house at the same time, we always said goodbye with a hug.  We'd say hello when we'd come in from work/whatever with a quick kiss, and since we were going to bed at the same time, a pre-sleepy-time peck.  

So really, the hug was the main difference.... and yall, it was a HUGE difference.  

So last week, I started implementing hugging again.  Purposeful hugging.  I was even straight up with Teh German about it.  I also made sure to start it as awkwardly as possible, like I do.  He finally came downstairs for dinner one evening and moved in to give me the standard prescribed kiss and I ignored him and finished whatever dinner preparations I was doing and I could feel him start to get frustrated, but he could see I was doing something and I told him, "hang on," so he did.  

Then I turned to him and said, "No, we're hugging now.  We used to hug every day and now we don't and I miss it and now we're hugging."  And so we did.  He admitted that he missed it too.  So now, we're going to be hugging (and kissing) before work and after work and whenever else.  Sometimes, you just need a hug.

Additionally, I'm hoping that more physical touch helps the intimacy levels in our relationship, which at best can be described as "cool".  For now, more hugging. 

1 comment:

  1. Okay now granted my emotions have been a lot higher than normal lately, the "no, we're hugging now" made me start crying. It also made me realize that while I've been focusing on the deafening silence at night, that I also miss that physical touch. God bless Nash for throwing his butt at me at night, & greeting me at the door after work, but I definitely miss having physical human touch.


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