Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Humpday Confessions #9

But I'm not ready for the new linkup button.... /sads
Soooo, I'm going to hold out for one more week.

Vodka and Soda


-When people slow down to pass "authorized use only" roads (where the cops park) then speed back up, I want to rear-end them.  No slowing down.  If you're afraid to speed, then get in the slow lane and get out of my way.  If you want to speed, don't go so fast that you panic that you're going to see a cop who might stop you.  And if you want to speed and don't care, then let's be interstate driving buddies.

-We were talking about blow jobs while driving at work the other day.  I asked how a blow job could be bad and then we went through the technicalities of a bad blow job.  Then we proceeded to make blow job faces.  Does this crap happen in the civilian world?  Because I need it to.

-Food shaming irritates the absolute crap out of me.  Ya'll choose to come to the pizza place and eat the buffet.  Stop raggin' on each other for eating more than a single slice of pizza and defending your eating of a brownie by telling everyone how many calories you burned that morning working out.  I think the irritation comes from the fact that I started to feel guilty about my huge salad (with cottage cheese instead of dressing) and my 2 slices of pizza with ranch and my brownie... and there might have been some PMS involved. 

-I've started training for my 1/2 marathon.  I've been running on base during lunch time.  It sucks because it's sooooo freakin' hot, but as I was crossing the bridge one day it smelled like salt water and beach and I actually enjoyed it for at least a minimal amount of time, before I realized that I had actually gone crazy for enjoying a run, outside, in 80+°F, with all the bugs, with all the allergens, while getting sunburned, with my phone about to die.  Also, I get to see the beautiful Pax River vistas.

Chesapeake Bay

This bridge is deceptively long... and uphill one way.

Hewwo baby osprey.
Sailboats and the "Solomon's" Bridge

-I bought a foam roller.  Roller day at yoga in GTMO used to be my most dreaded day.  My IT bands and I aren't friends.  My pieces just don't like being squashed, I think it stems from the big boob problem I have.  Yet, the foam roller and I are becoming friends.  After a 5.3 mile run on Monday, I eliminated ALL soreness by rolling after my run and before bed.  Teh MD Roomies laugh at me when they see me rollin' but it's totally worth it.  Oh and the back pops that I can't normally get that I can get with the roller.  WORTH IT.


-For Father's Day, I gave Teh Dad the gift of my presence and his very first Cards Against Humanity session.  Despite how awkward it could have been, it was pretty fun.  Except for that one time where Teh Sister got something to the effect of masturbating to "my dad's stupid face." 

PS, read the white cards from bottom to top to get their proper order.  (So the top card is first, then the bottom card)

I'm pretty proud of this win.  PS.  I had the least amount of cards at the end.

-Port calls on deployment are my new favorite thing until there's a plane ride to America for a certain someone.

-We have hit less than 100 days till terminal leave.  WOOO!!! 
-We have hit less than 100 days till terminal leave.  Oh shit.

-I'm the worst at budgeting.  I use You Need a Budget, but I'm always adjusting my allotted amounts to make it all balance out to zero, because "every dollar should be allotted somewhere."  Except I think I'm doing it wrong.  Because I spend all the monies then REallot the monies rather than allot the extra into savings or stop spending when I reach my allotted amount.  Apparently I need a separate bank account for each category to be effective at budgeting... or I need someone else to control my dollas.

-I don't care if you drive in the rain with no windshield wipers, maybe you have rain-x or something, but use your damn headlights.  Not because I want to see your headlights, but I NEED to see your tail lights when you decide to slam on the brakes because OMG RAIN!

-I often use gestures and sound effects to convey an idea for words that I can't think of.  And what I mean by this is that I pretended my arms were windshield wipers and made the spray sound of windshield washer to Teh MD Adult Roomie to remind her to get washer fluid when I couldn't remember the term "windshield washer fluid".  Pretty sure we'd win charades every.single.time.  She's also good at deciphering my "mouth is full" talking and my grunts/grumbles when I don't make coherent words.

-The travel bug bit me.  I have people in Grenada, Hong Kong, and New Orleans.  I feel like I'm going stir crazy.  This is despite the fact that I went to NC last weekend.  I want to go overseas.  I want to go somewhere new.  I want Europe or Asia or Australia (the not Perth part).  Anyone wanna be my "rich uncle?"  PPpuuuullllleeeeaaassssseeeee????



  1. I thought blow job conversations and faces were a college prereq?? haha just kidding but Im pretty sure you dont need to feel bad because every college goer is doing it. Also it made me laugh and wish I was making those faces too haha

  2. I totally have blow job conversations! But it's only with my close friends in the comfort of our own homes, so this totally needs to become an acceptable thing to talk about in public. The conversations are always hilarious!
    I, too, make sounds and use my arms to act out something that I am trying to say!

  3. - Food shaming (and pretty much all shaming) is LAME.
    - I can't budget either. I think I'm doing well and then realize I have no money somehow. Boo.
    - If you find that rich uncle, share him with your bloggy buddy Brittany ok? Please & thank you. Because our house has the travel bug also.

  4. I was seriously just thinking about the whole BJ/sex thing the other can it really be bad for a guy?!

  5. Oh my I'm terrible at budgeting - like ridiculously bad and no app is going to help

  6. I need a rich uncle too! I want to travel everywhere. Props to you for training for your half in that heat. It can't be easy AT ALL.

  7. I am definitely not a fan of food shaming! It must end!! XOXO


  8. Good for you girl! I absolutely skipped my evening run last night because the humidity was just AWFUL. I can't stand running in that. And food shaming at a buffet???? Just get out lol. Eat all the things!!!

  9. i don't eat candy but when i was PMSing large last week, i came to the lunch table with a handful of chocolate covered almonds. a coworker said to me "i thought you don't eat candy" with a look on his face so i glared at him and legit said "i'm PMSing huge right now and i need to eat chocolate before i murder someone. is there a problem?" to which he quickly shook his head and said "not at all. i have some more at my desk if you like" LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    thanks for linking up!

  10. You had me at blow job jokes. We should be besides. Seriously.

  11. And I meant besties. Stupid autocorrect.


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