Saturday, June 7, 2014

A not bad, bad day.

Do you ever just have those days when you're like, "YEAH!  I'm gonna make this day my bitch!"  And then that day owns you?

That was me on Friday.  I drove straight up the gate like a boss because it was apparently CWS Friday for all.the.people (compressed work schedule, where they work extra hours M-H then get Friday off.  I'd never heard of it till I arrived at Pax, and it  I can haz?).  No wait at the gate?  It was bound to be a good day.  I was even extra EARLY.  Normally I'm on time.  I was, accidentally, 15 minutes early Friday.  Mind=blown.

I spent the morning catching up on email tasking and avoiding my big dreaded task, reviewing completed SF-86s.  Finally, out of other things to do, I even did the muster to avoid having to review these files, I signed in.  Out of the 5 cases I had to review, only ONE individual did it correctly.  That means 80% of people did it wrong.

Here's my problem with this situation, Gentle Readers:

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm quite... descriptive.  I'm also very blunt (unless I'm purposely being vague, but at least I warn you first).  I like to get shit done right, the first time, every time.  I don't have time for your games or your bullshit or your stupid questions.


So, since answering a questionnaire about your life seems to be one of the most impossible tasks anyone that works with/for the DoD has ever done, I made up some directions.  Ok, actually, my predecessors had some really shitty directions that I elaborated on and made more specific so it was hard to misunderstand.  Except that.. No one reads my freakin' instructions.  The instructions that I send to every.single.individual who has to fill out this questionnaire.  Nope, they just: TL;DR (too long; don't read), delete.


I explain in the directions how to set up an account and what to try if you are unable to set up an account on the first try, which works every.single.time.  Then I list out things to remember when filling out this form:
-Read ALL the directions (even the form says this first thing at the very top, how could I not put that?)
-Don't have time gaps in the residence and employment activities section (because you have to have lived somewhere period (even if it was on the street or in a car) and if you weren't employed you have to state that you were unemployed).
-Don't repeat references in any place on the form (each residence and employment asks for someone who could verify that you did what you are saying you did and there's a section for relatives, the instructions on the form say don't repeat people, I'm not sure why someone would think it's ok to list their Mom for every reference...)
-List out ALL duty stations under employment activities (because apparently people think their only job in the navy has been at VX1, even if they've been in for 20 freakin' years)

I also detail how to sign the forms and how to get them back to us so we can process the paperwork.  I list the email address they should send information to and I give the web address they have visit to complete the process.  I even tell them the last button they need to click to make sure the form gets put in the system.

I'm concise.  I've had several people read the directions and say that my directions are clear.  Yet, I have people that get upset when I recycle their paperwork because they repeated references or they "worked at VX1 for the past 20 years."  I have people who call me telling me they don't understand how to do things.  I had an O-5 at my command ask me questions that are definitely covered in the directions and when I asked him if he had read the directions I had sent, he said yes, and when I asked him if he had seen the part where I said don't repeat references, he admitted that he hadn't read the directions and he needed them emailed to him again.  SERIOUSLY!?!  1.  Don't fucking lie.  2.  READ THE FUCKING DIRECTIONS!!


I just don't understand how to make people READ the freakin' instructions.  I didn't email them to you for the 3rd time because I love to copy/paste shit into emails and blast them out to random people.  I didn't contact you 3 months ago to let you know that your clearance was expiring so you could come to me in another 3 months when your clearance is actually expired and you can't pick decent orders because every where you want to go requires a clearance, but yours is expired because your refused to do your stupid freakin' SF-86 when I told you to a year ago.

Despite what you may think, I actually wrote up these directions to help you... and THEN.. I emailed them to you..  SO YOU'D KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING DO.  So you wouldn't have to call me and ask me or have to come to my office to ask me or remember you were having a problem when you see me crossing the hangar to leave and THEN ask me (because there are few things I like less than someone holding me up when I'm trying to leave work).

And even better.. I'VE HAD TO FILL OUT THIS FORM FOR MYSELF.  TWICE.  So it's not like everyone isn't subject to the exact same rules for the form.


Additionally, if you know that the government requires you to do this paperwork, in what world is it acceptable to NOT list out all of your employment activities?  ALL OF THEM?  Oh, you assumed that because a government agency was doing the investigation they would KNOW where you've been hanging out the last 10 years?  Since when have government agencies ever worked together?  I mean, we as the DoD can barely work together. Or you thought if you listed your military history as a single employment that it would be fine, even though there's another question about halfway through that asks if you ever served in the military?  Oh because that would just make too much sense to ask the exact same thing twice.  Get a grip people.


It was definitely a difficult day.  I usually only handle 1 or 2 at a time, but I'd been procrastinating.  My procrastination doesn't excuse the fact that so many people did it incorrectly.  When I'm doing onesies and twosies, my rage level doesn't get to the extreme it got Friday.  At one point, I had to get up and walk away from my computer before I went all Hulk on the desk.

But to the ONE person who did it right in that batch and all the others who did it correctly the first time before you:


Sadly, I felt like this entire situation tainted my entire day.  When one of my coworkers called, he immediately asked what was wrong.  I had to explain that it was stupid people, not the fact that I was in the office solo.  I also had to keep my rage at bay when dealing with other things.  The worst part of all of it was that the frustration exhausted me.  After contacting the people to tell them to get their shit straight and having to be just an E5 rather than a snarky bitch, I was done for the day.  It's hard for me to be nice to incompetent morons, what can I say?

I did get to have a chat with Mr. Mystery (for now), which kinda helped brighten the day.  He seems to have this knack for saying sweet things when I really need them, even if he doesn't know I need it.  /swoon.  PS.  I'm over deployment.

I went to the gym after work since I forgot regular socks and I had packed shorts with no pockets, rather than go on a run.  Forgetting socks meant that I was sporting my black tube socks and no pockets meant that I couldn't put my cell phone in my pocket to track my run (I don't have an arm band because they didn't make them yet when I was buying stuff for Suzy2).  I considered going without any music or tracking but ended up going to the gym despite the gorgeous day outside.  FAIL.

I arrived to the gym and all the machines had been moved into the newly renovated space.  I appreciated the AC in the room, but it was such a cluster in the room.  With the free weights on one side of the room, the workout machines in the middle, and the assisted weight machines on the other side, it was just too crammed.  I couldn't stretch before my workout without hitting something or someone.  There are 6 new TVs on the wall in front of the exercise machines.  ALL OF THEM were on some type of sports channel.  Are you fucking kidding me?  The 3 directly in front of me?  Fishing, tennis, and men's college baseball... FML.  I had Nook to read, but it was hard to stay focused on Divergent because of all the meatheads joking around at the free weights, the grunters on the assisted weight machines, and Captain Smelly (a general nickname for people who smell, particularly of body odor).  Then Captain Smelly knew the person on the treadmill beside me.  The person who was ON the treadmill was already in my bubble so when Captain Stinky-Pants (another general nickname for smelly people) came over to chat with this guy for 25 minutes I almost flipped out.  Every now and then he would gesture and he'd lift his arms and I'd have to obviously mouth breathe for a few seconds in the other direction as to not gag.  They finally walked away 8 minutes before I was done.  When Captain Smelly walked by I had to start mouth breathing again and he heard it and actually turned back to look at me.  Not sure if he was concerned or glaring, but I couldn't handle it.  Not that it makes a difference, but this particular Captain Smelly must share DNA with a silver back gorilla because his back hair was like unconstrained kudzu coming up out of the back of his shirt.  /shiver

Let's just say, for the record, with the new gym set up, I'm almost excited about 1/2 marathon training.

The rest of the evening was pretty relaxing, but the day had exhausted me (with 50 minutes of elliptical-ing really putting the FINISH HER touches on the day).

Teh Humanitarian came over for potentially her last visit.  /bawl  I'm not ready for my friends to PCS/start leaving.  Then again, I never am.  And then I leave.  What will my people do without me??  (keep reading Teh Blog, of course, as it's a condensed version of me)  After a relaxing evening of delicious dinner made by Teh MD Adult Roomie (I should have taken pictures because it was amazing and seemed pretty simple to make), chatting, and snuggling on puppies, Teh Humanitarian finally headed out for her drive to Baltimore and Teh MD Adult Roomie and I internetted and listened to music for the rest of the evening.

Overall, the day wasn't so bad, but the bad parts were really bad.  I probably could have tried to not let other people's stupidity bother me so much, but it does bother me because I put a lot of effort into helping people do things the correct way, the first time, and I'm just not getting results.  I kept looking at my countdown to reassure myself, but it just wasn't working.  I've been reassured that there are stupid people in the "real world" too, not just the military.  It's not that I'm looking forward to no stupid people, it's that I'm looking forward to a different type of stupidity.  I want to find a type of stupidity I can handle for the rest of my life so I can find a job that I can retire from.  I mean, in the end its about how much you can tolerate, right?

Here's to hoping the weekend isn't nearly as frustrating as it started out being.

Happy first weekend of June Gentle Readers!

1 comment:

  1. 1) The CWS option sound pretty freakin' sweet.
    2) Boo stupid & smelly people.
    3) "I want to find a type of stupidity I can handle for the rest of my life so I can find a job that I can retire from." Probably one of the truest statements ever, and basically the summation of adulthood.


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