Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Facebook Rules (like the ones you follow, not like FB is awesome)

So, Teh Bear and I have an understanding when it comes to social media.  Our goal is to try to not make our friends want to barf when they read communication between us.  We established Facebook Rules, so we would not be like the FB friends that we sometimes grudgingly keep have who post on their significant other's wall or on their own wall:  I LOVE MY SWEET CUPCAKE MUFFIN <3 <3 :* :* :* :D :D  DWAYNE CLETUS WILLIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
And then Dwayne responds:  I love you hunny bunch.
Hunny Bunch:  I love you more.
D: I love you more.
HB:  No I love YOU more, cause I said it first.
D: XOXOXOXOXOXOXO, thats more love.

Seriously?  (FB Group)
But, you've probably seen it.  I mean, its different if its their anniversary and they wanna be cute on each other's page like, oh, you've dealt with me for several years now, I love you, Mr/Mrs Muffinhead.  Or maybe if someone went out of their way to do something special, like when Teh Bear made me an entire box full of origami cranes.  Actually, it was more than just one box, because the 2nd package he sent also had cranes in it, so it was a lot of fucking birds.  And he did them all by himself.  Of course he got a subtly lovey public message from me about how awesome it was.  But I didn't all caps about TEH BEAR IS SO GREAT :* :* :* <3 <3 <3.  No, it was sly.  I posted a photo and made a status, or two, about it, and now they sit in my living room for me to gaze at from time to time because they are so freakin awesome.

The thing about the blog though is that this is my space (not to be confused with Myspace, which I no longer have).  I can say whatever the hell I want.  Although, I do still try to apply the Facebook Rules as often as possible, because even in the blog, no one wants to hear all that sap.  References every once in a while is endearing, but plastering your love all over the internet for the world to see just annoys everyone else.  The rest of us are glad you are happy, truly.  But, I'm deployed (even if this is a PCS, don't get sassy), and this isn't my normal life, so when you plaster all over the internet how happy you are, I'm happy for you in a please-shut-the-fuck-up-soon-no-one-wants-to-see-that-all-the-time type of way.

What mushy FB statuses would look like
if they weren't just words on the internet.
Your love for each other smothers me, and it makes me jealous.  Your wedding pictures are beautiful, and I'm jealous cause I want one.  Your baby is usually the most precious thing known to mankind, and I'm jealous cause I want one, maybe, eventually, sometime, in the far future.  Cause I have spring fever because I'm in my mid-20s and I'm in the middle east and never realized that being in the navy meant having a very small chance of having what most would consider a normal lifestyle.

Another one of the great things about this being my blog is that I can go off on as many tangents as I like... :)

Back to the rules.  We try not to smother everyone else with our lub.  Not everyone in the world needs to know the things that I can tell Teh Bear person-to-person via skype or chat versus a Facebook status.  I mean, I know my situation isn't the best in the world, but I know there are people out there that have it worse than I do, so while I sit in my comfy apartment talking about someone else's love smothering me, I don't want to be the asshole that rubs my relationship awesomeness in someone else's face.

So we have Facebook Rules.  If its anything close to mushy, reevaluate and decide if you need to break the rules.  Hell, sometimes even posting pics of us being silly together causes me to reevaluate, like hrmmmmm, should this be posted?  The kissy pic I posted for my 30 day challenge?  That was at least a 5 minute debate in my head, but that photo makes me smile every time I see it, so I stuck to my guns.  We hope that it saves us from earning the reputation of being that couple and saving people's gag reflex and potentially prior meal.


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