Tuesday, April 30, 2013


1.  Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I'm exempt from having pockets in my clothing.
2.  Just because I sometimes carry a purse doesn't mean I shouldn't get pockets in my clothing.
3.  NO pockets in pants should be illegal.

Seriously...  Ladies, how often do you go to shop for a pair of nice/dressy pants or a pair of workout pants and you find the perfect pair, good accent on the bum, no foopa, perfect length.. then you go to stick your hands in the, potentially miniscule, but still there, pockets to find out THEY ARE SEWN CLOSED!  They are just for show!

WHAT.IS.THAT?!?!  It makes me SOOOO annngggrrryyy!!  I just want to hulksmash all the racks in the store.

Because I'm so short vertically challenged, its hard enough to find a pair of pants.  Add to that my requirement for pockets and it makes finding pants practically impossible, specifically work out pants and dress pants.

I put back the perfect pair of dress pants at Kohl's recently because the pants looked like they had pockets, but they were jk (just kidding).  /RAGE!  By perfect I mean, perfect length, not too tight in "my" size (you know.... that size you "are" vs that size you are), my butt didn't look droopy, and they had pockets!  Except.. THEY DIDN'T.  I tried to stick my hands in them and was met by a seam.  Then I checked the inside of the pants to see if maybe the pants actually had pockets, but the opening was sewn closed.  Nope.  No pockets whatsoever.  PS.  I've actually owned clothing where they had pockets, but the opening was sewn closed.  WHO DOES THAT?!?

Also, please don't search "no pockets" on google.  You'll get back some semi-sketchy image results and you will learn there is a yacht club/group that features "no clothes vacations".  I can't even make this stuff up.

I prefer my workout pants to have pockets so I can put my iPod in my pocket since I don't own an arm band.  In general, I prefer all  my pants to have pockets because I like to carry chapstick and lint balls and maybe a single ID and method of payment so I don't have to carry around a huge purse/wallet.  I know, its hard to believe that girls like to be simple about this stuff, but in a strange twist of fate, it's true.

Fashion, you are stupid and so impractical..  The END!

Also, the only reason I was even at Kohl's looking at clothes because I was looking for some dresses I'd seen on the website.  I sadly didn't find any of them in store (only the pants with NO pockets and a very cute coat), so I ordered about $300 in dresses from the website.  Btw, that was 14 dresses.  So about $22ish each.  I returned about half of the dresses to the store already after having a trying on session with Teh Humanitarian.  Of the 6-7 that I'm keeping, 3 of the dresses have pockets.

POCKETS.IN.MY.DRESSES.YA'LL.  WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't know who the genius is that designed these dresses, but I want to give them a big hug.


  1. Okay, so pockets in dress, fantastic. But of course, it's not that big a deal if it doesn't have them.
    Pockets on dress pants, sometimes annoying not having them, but not completely a requisite for me. If they fit perfect and look good, I'll buy them. And most of my dress pants that do have pockets have the opening sewn closed, but then I just rip out of the string with my fingers to be able to use the pocket. No big deal. It's actually kind of fun.
    No pockets on jeans, that's just dumb and annoying. Even the stretch skinny jeans need pockets.

    1. Dresses can totally get away with no pockets, but its just so awesome to HAVE pockets that I get so excited..

      Pants with no pockets. I boycott. Ain't nobody got time for that! :D

  2. Dresses with pockets literally changed my life. It's about the only reason I started wearing dresses. Now I can deal without them, but I get SUPER excited and buy lots of the ones with pockets with I find them.

    And yes, I have no clue why they make clothes that LOOK like they have pockets but don't.


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