Friday, July 19, 2019

Five on Friday #203

EINS - Random Shit

#ObamaWasBetterAt is/was a trending hashtag on Twitter.  Mostly, it brought me joy and a few laughs (specifically directed at those Trump supporters), but mostly it brought me sadness that our current, "great", president is the source of so much embarrassment for the US on an international level.

I would never say Obama was a perfect president, but I never felt embarrassed by the fact that he was president.  There might have been decisions made that I didn't agree with, but for the most part, I felt that the greater good was always the focus when decisions were made.  That's the president I want for the US.

And if you support "sending her back", I need you to try to validate that argument to me so I can laugh in your face.  Like, guffaw type of laughter, not like a semi-amused snort chuckle.


While I thought that my windshield repair would be as simple as making the appointment and they come to me to replace the windshield, that is NOT the case.  Since Willow has EyeSight, aka the ability to drive herself, when the windshield is replaced, the EyeSight must be reconfigured for the new windshield, which means I have to take Willow into the place to have the windshield repaired and the service takes 2-3 hours.  When I was making the appointment, I noticed that there was an option to drop off the car as early as 0730 and leave it all day for the repairs to be done when time was available.  But Teh German and I leave around 0630ish, so I needed to inquire if we could drop off the car early or the night prior and I could just drop off Teh German or ride Bagheera (taking a risk with the daily 50% chance of rain).

This leads me to a rant...

When I call a local number for a business and get redirected to a standard 1-800 customer service line, I get irrationally angry.  I didn't call the appointment line because I wasn't ready to make an appointment yet.  I had a question about pickup/drop off which affects the ENTIRE APPOINTMENT that I cannot make without the crucial details I need you to provide so I can make arrangements.

Which leads me to this fun story...

I looked up the Safelite where I would like to get Willow's windshield (or wind screen, you choose) replaced and called the number.  Once a customer service rep finally answered, 3.5 minutes into said call, after I'd listened to the automated message about how well trained the technicians are, the conversation went like this:

Rep: Blah blah blah, something about making an appointment.
Me: I just need information about early drop off.
Rep: Ok.
Me: Is there any way to drop off before 0730?
Rep: No, our offices open at 0800, yammer yammer yammer.
Me, interrupting: What about drop off the night before?
Rep: We no longer offer this, as it is a liability problem.
Me: Uhh... do you offer a shuttle?
Rep: No.  We recommend Uber.
Me, in my head: I recommend you go fuck yourself.
Me, out loud: Uhhh.. Yeah, no.

Thankfully, Teh NY Chef was available to taxi me home, so I made an appointment on Thursday so that way I could also be home for when all the Prime Day loot comes in.  #Oops #NotReally.


There are ZERO gifs of Garth Brooks singing Thunder Rolls.
I have a specific, quinary*, skill set going to waste!  I could be benefiting the WORLD with my ability to create explicit gifs for uncommon circumstances.  Like the 50% chance of thunderstorms that plague the South in the summer.

Primary skill set: Getting good parking places in super packed parking lots, usually.
Secondary skill set: The ability to find the PERFECT greeting card for people.
Tertiary skill set: Making shit fit.  I'm a master packer.
Quaternary skill set: Saying the things that others are thinking when it's probably not completely appropriate.


On most days when I'm getting ready, I usually have a song playing in my head when I shower.  This week's selection has been quite interesting.

Monday: The song from O Brother Where Art Thou?  I am a Man of Constant Sorrow.  And when that song is in my head, all I can think of is the scene where George Clooney is crooning into the microphone at the radio station.  Related, I have an uncle who I think looks like a mulleted, NC mountains version of George Clooney.  I've always thought this since I've known of George Clooney.

Tuesday: Eyes Shut by Years & Years.  I discovered this song in July 2015 right before I met Teh German and I still love how soothed this song makes me feel.

Wednesday, Thursday: No song/can't remember.

Friday: Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved.  Because this is probably one of the last songs we listened to before we started watching The Americans on Thurs night.


When I bought all the shit on Prime Day, the order info said it would arrive on Thursday.  I knew this was more than the standard Prime delivery of 2 days, but I figured the high demand of Prime Day.. blah blah blah..

Two things.

1- Amazon, don't fucking email me about devices I don't even have in my possession yet.  I received emails about the Fire Cube and Amazon Show on Tuesday.  Delivery wasn't scheduled until Thursday.

2- Amazon, thank you for delivering my shit on Wednesday.  That was an unexpected, yet pleasant, surprise.



Piggy-backing on that (used that one just for you DoD Gentle Readers), I was super glad all the Prime Day purchases arrived on Wednesday as the Garmin watch I've been wearing for the past 6+ months died on Wednesday morning during lab.  It was fine when I got to school, but at some point during lab, I looked at it, and the text was no longer appearing on the screen.  I pressed the buttons to reset it and it came back in a faded way, then finally, text stopped appearing at all...

We had a good run, Garmin Vivoactive HR.  But it is time for me to move on to bigger and better smartwatches.  But singular.  Those bitches are expensive.


Did you know it was a full moon on July 16th?  Well, not only did I look it up for Brit because we were discussing the crazy shit going down this week.. but ALSO... Gentle Readers.. Please sit down.  Swallow whatever is in your mouth (heh).  Grasp your electronic device firmly.  Ok, now read on...

Teh German and I worked together on completing a project.  Like, ON PURPOSE.
That face you are making?  That's exactly how I felt on the inside the entire time.

Last weekend, Teh German had attempted to put up the new storm door, only to be deterred by some framing issues that pissed him off enough (or the lure of drinking with Teh PT Husband was too strong) he didn't bother to go to Lowe's to finish the project off, he just left the door laying in the dining room floor for the rest of the weekend and then decided on Tuesday to finish it, along with completing several other tasks (hair cut, bought live things for the tank, cooked dinner).

He needed my help with the holding of things while he screwed the door to the new frame he added to our front door to accommodate said storm door.  There was only one time when he said something nasty and I asked him if he wanted to do this himself and received no answer.

Despite some complications, the door was attached and it looks super good, if I do say so myself.

Attaching the door handle

After the framing issue, came the door handle issue.  We were worried the door handles would be blocking each other from closing.  For real, this is the face Teh German made when we closed the front door and the screen door and there were zero problems:

Meri doesn't even know what brave new world she is about to have access to.


In addition to helping install the storm door on Tuesday evening, I also tried to help Teh Dad troubleshoot his, potentially perfectly fine, computer.  Fun fact: Troubleshooting technology for a very specific problem without the tech in front of you is incredibly difficult.  Also, I'm kind of an asshole when people do not listen to my explicit directions.

Me: Hit the start button the keyboard and then type in C-M-D.
Dad: Ok, the DOS window opened.
Dad: Oh, my bad.
Me: Yeah, you're bad.  Do what I tell you when I give you explicit instructions.

I also did the dishes since Teh German cooked dinner, did the laundry, picked up the Sam's order (earlier in the day), stopped by the grocery store on my way home from work for the one item Sam's doesn't sell: cilantro, happened to see the Goodwill by the grocery store and finally unloaded the donations that have been riding around in the back of Willow for over a month.

Know what I did NOT do Tuesday night?
My homework.  Siiiiiiiigh.  And I really needed to do it.  Oh well, YOLO bitches.


Wednesday was kinda like Christmas, complete with toy setup frustration.  After installing the storm door on Tuesday, Teh German installed the new smart lock on Wednesday evening.  I did homework, THEN I organized Christmas Prime Day things.

New luggage meant going through the old luggage and making sure it was empty and putting it in Willow for donating.  I also pulled a papasan type of chair out of the closet for the donation pile that I'd been hoarding since putting over-sized arm chairs in the spare bedrooms.

New pillows meant unpackaging those so they could off-gas and fluff themselves.
New smartwatches meant charging them before using them.
New Alexas meant setting up and configuring those bad boys.


Me, no less than 3 times this week: WTF why is the door ope....... oh yeah, we have a storm door now.


My windshield was replaced on Thursday.  Shoutout to Teh NY Chef for coming to pick me up so I didn't have to wait 3+ hours at the shop.  Since Willow drives herself, she had to be calibrated after the windshield was installed and it had to be done AT the shop because of this.  I know I told you this already, but whatever.  I repeat things sometimes, I get that from Teh Dad.  Moving on...

EVERY.SINGLE.THING I read on the Progressive website and all the info emails about my appointment said the appointment would take AT LEAST 3 hours.  I was prepared for this.  I was NOT prepared for them to call me 1.5 hours after I dropped off my car and tell me it was done.  I did ask when I picked Willow up if the calibration had been done and I was told yes.  I was surprised to see my car wash sticker and oil change sticker on the new windshield, the car wash sticker looking a bit worse for the wear and in a weird place, but whatever.

Anyways, when my windshield washer fluid didn't work this morning, I wasn't overly surprised and I tried not to be annoyed, but I am.  I am very fucking annoyed.  I purposely left so no one had to feel rushed to do a 3 hour service, "AT LEAST 3 hours".  It took 1.5, one might understand why I'm skeptical that a satisfactory job was done.. and turns out, a satisfactory job was NOT done. 

So today, I get to deal with that.
Why is it so fucking hard to do your job right?  Siiiiigh.  I'm hoping it's something simple like reconnecting the hose or something, but I'm not usually that lucky.

Thus far, I have called the phone number that was on my three receipts (please note my annoyance at being sent 3 receipts) and the number never connects.  So not only am I pissed my shit wasn't fixed properly, I'm pissed because it's impossible to contact these motherfuckers without calling the national line that pissed me off in the first place, which I refused to do...

So nowwwww, I have to GO TO THE PLACE, which is the worst possible thing because I will not be able to hide the annoyance on my face.


I follow Al Jazeera English on Twitter because I'm a nerd and I hate the bias of US news outlets and I tend to find international news sources to be more objective.. anyways, when I saw this image all I could think was:
1x 8m WPG

Thanks to the Navy and the Bahrain watchfloor for scaring me for life.


The fact that people have to be told to NOT drive through standing water at all, but especially at night is particularly concerning for me because I like to believe that people are generally not so stupid....

Because they have to be told these things...

This is relevant because Charleston and high tide and 50% chance of rain/thunderstorm every day during the summer = lots of flooded streets that validate those tiny-dick individuals with the unnecessarily jacked up trucks.


I haven't been to the Chiro since the end of June and I really should make time to go, I just don't.  It's a self-love/hate problem... and a summer school problem since I get out of class at 12 and the office is only open until 12:30 and I don't want to be that asshole that shows up at closing time.

Also, trying to figure out if getting another massage so soon after the last one is too first worldy/needy.  Not really because I need it, like the last one, just because I want to be more relaxed.


I mailed back the Fossil smartwatch on July 5th.  No refund has been posted to my account.  I am stabby about this.  I also get to call Fossil today and deal with that.  I just wish life was as simple as some people say it is.  Maybe it's simple when you live in a yurt and don't interact/rely on anyone else? 


In line with all the other Friday issues I'm enduring, I tried to log into my Company's HR site to do some payroll deposit adjustments and I cannot login to the system.  When I had this issue a few weeks ago, it was because my user name was incorrect.  I have no idea what the problem is now.  I had to email the people and here's to hoping for a simple solution... Which I really should know better than to expect at this point.. but here we are.


Days like today, when I feel like every little thing is tripping me up, makes me exhausted.  Yes, I know I can handle all of these "little" things.. but little things add up when you're already tired, when you have a test in an hour, when you've barely survived the week, you haven't been to the gym all week, and you've been dealing with these little trip all.fucking.week/month/year long.

It's like when you're walking and you trip on the carpet or on a rock or your own feet.. but like, every few minutes.  Know what is exhausting?  Having to be constantly be afraid of busting your face when you inevitably fall over something because it isn't minor.  When the minor things wear you down, you are not able to handle the major things.  That's the problem when you have to deal with incessant "little things".

ZWEI - Money Shit

Holy fuck it was Prime Week*.
Most of the stuff I bought was planned purchases.  Items I had been waiting until Prime Day to purchase to see if they would go on sale or not, and then I could decide if I wanted to bite the bullet or wait to find a sale.

-2 sets of Samsonite 2 piece luggage for Teh German and I.  One suitcase's wheels broke when it was being shipped from Casablanca.  The other suitcase's top handle broke when Teh German was departing Charleston to go to Germany, so that really made handling the luggage an adventure.  I found Samsonite hard luggage for a price I was willing to pay, in the sizes that I had been eyeing.  Done.
-Pillow.  This fucking ongoing saga... ugh.
-2 smartwatches.  The Garmin Forerunner 645 and the Samsung Galaxy Smartwatch.  I will compare and return one.  I had settled on the Garmin until someone at GHC bragged about their new Samsung smartwatch and all the things it does.  It's not Apple Watch good, but it's pretty good.  Sadly, the Samsung wasn't on sale, but the Garmin was.  Soooo we'll see what happens with this situation.
-Amazon Show bundle with a Dot and a white Hue bulb.  The bundle cost the same as just the Show and we/I can use both the Dot and the Hue bulb.  This purchase was unplanned, but I'm not sorry about a better speaker in the kitchen, since the Spot will be relocated (to probably the Office).
-Smart deadbolt.  I'd been eyeing this bad boy for a while.  The one that I preferred wasn't a Prime Day sale, but it was 25% off, so I decided that was sufficient.
-Body pillow.  I have a complicated relationship with pillows.  I usually sleep with a head pillow and a leg pillow (which is a normal head pillow).  Using a head pillow for my legs is annoying because the pillow is wider than I need and it takes up so much space.  Teh German and I discussed this complication and he suggested I just buy a body pillow and alter it to my needs, meaning shorten it.  Because really, I want a pillow that is long enough to go between my boobs and my thighs.  Maybe TMI, but whatever.  So I'll shorten a body pillow and maybe make it more narrow depending on my needs.  Yay for lackluster domesticated sewing skills.

*I used the link to make sure that all that money spent benefited my charity of choice and I used my Prime credit card to earn 6% back on my purchase.  I'll use the rewards to buy shit off Amazon until there are no more reward dollas left and then I'll go back to using my regular credit card for rewards.

Non-Prime Day purchases:
-Bestie Weekend noms
-Bojangles for breakfast, which happens only when my breakfast sammich is not thawed in the fridge due to my own ineptitude of taking it from the freezer when I take one out of the fridge.  Which seems to happen at least once a week.  I really need a better system.  Or do I?
-Hot Chocolate 15k in Charlotte in Feb 2020.  It's for the medal and my running mates better sign up.
-Woot Bag of Crap x2, thanks to Teh Chief Smartass.
-Heart and Brain hoodie, since I've put myself on a t-shirt buying freeze.
-Sparkle Skirts x3 since they were on sale.  Not sure if I'll be keeping all 3 though, depends on how they fit.
-Park Pizza for lunch, since I left my lunch at home.  AND IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS.
-Audible, because I forgot to cancel it.  Also, I have 5 credits to use and Audible credits are like stickers, once you use them, you can't get them back (after you cancel the account).
-New watch bands for the Samsung watch.

DREI - From My Phone Shit


Garmin ain't gonna beat that.


VIER - From the Internet Shit

Except instead of "kids bedtime", please substitute:
-When we're trying to leave the house
-When there is a task to accomplish
-When I also need to shit and he takes the close bathroom
-When it's bedtime
-When he's already been scrolling for more than 30 minutes

Me, learning.


And if I fail?
I will rise up.
I will rise up and I will try again.
I will see my low points as the lessons that helped me grow in wisdom and strength.

Through it all she was strong,
she did not let go of hope.
She continued to believe there would be another side of this.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. Early Prime Day delivery.
  2. Samsung Galaxy Watch being compatible with my Pixel phone.
  3. No more crack in my windshield.
  4. Tests on Friday which mean ZERO school work/thoughts/priorities over the weekend.  
  5. Delicious steak leftovers.
  6. The storm door and Meri laying in front of the door until she seeks out more comfortable bedding.
  7. Gratitude for the life I have and the money for the things I buy/want... soo gratitude for not having any needs.
  8. Days when I don't have to carry this 90 lb work laptop in my backpack.  Lawd that sucker is heavy.
  9. Donating stuff, to lighten the stuff burden... even if it was because I bought replacement stuff.
  10. When plastic bowl lids nest, even though they are different name brands.  It's the small things, Gentle Readers.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.


  1. Amazon has been on it lately as far as delivering stuff earlier than expected. I am here for it. My friends & I talk all the time about how guys say that girls are so confusing & complicated but really... pretty simple!

  2. -That is my problem with Trump. I do not trust that he cares about anything than himself, and that is unacceptable as a president.
    -My Prime purchase also came a day earlier than expected, shocking!
    -Whoo hoo for teamwork that actually works!
    -During Matthew, 2-3 people from Hub's work had to be rescued/lost their car because they drove through floodwaters. One person had to climb through their sunroof to escape. NO. TURN AROUND.
    -Also, Hubs has a million friends with same name and one is "Big Truck Russell" because "Little dick Russell" isn't acceptable to say in public.
    -OMG yes to the bathroom meme. What do they do in there?!?!


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