Monday, May 4, 2020

The worst best day.

Today is the worst best day.

Today 3 years ago, I started my college career. I spent the morning at the vet with Phil, who we had to let go, then I went home for a little bit, made the announcement that Baggins was gone and the dragged myself down to the Citadel to speak with an advisor over a degree plan. I was late and explained I had put my dog down earlier that morning and she was like, "Why did you come? We could have rescheduled." I said, "Life has to go on."

And so it has. 

Exactly 3 years later, to the day, and within the same hour of meeting with that advisor, I completed my final final.

I'm relieved and anxious and scared and numb and happy and sad about it.  

Coinciding with that coincidence, I finally revealed a secret I had been keeping, the addition of a Sandra Dee (Sandy) to our pack. 

Today has been hard. I've been in my feelings about Phil and about school and next steps and the future + work frustrations + graduation disappointments and crushed expectations + the joy of 16 legs in the house and I'm all over the place. 

I write this as my Monkey-Doodle sleeps beside me on the couch, and my Paximoose sleeps on my other side on the floor (his choice, there's a bed within a foot of him), and Husband sits on the couch across from me with the Floofernoodle asleep at his feet. 

Despite the roller coaster of emotions and feelings, the strongest feeling I have is that of contentment. 

This is my life. 
This is what I work for. 
This is what I've earned. 

This is enough. 

PS.  I'll catch you up soon on the last few weeks.  Obviously, it's been crazy around here.


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