Five on Friday #189

EINS - Random Shit

-PLANE TICKETS ARE PURCHASED!!!!!!!
I fly from Charleston to Düsseldorf at the beginning of May for my class.  I will stay with Auntie P for the weekend and then I'll go to school and stay where ever my accommodations are.
Teh German has an eventful end of May where he drives up to MD for the Greyhound picnic, leaving Willow, Pax, and Meri with Teh Running Bestie and flies back to Charleston.  After working for another week, he will then fly from Charleston to Düsseldorf as well at the very end of the month.

Teh German and I will spend some time with NW German family and friends until we head down to the south for more family and friend time.  During the first week of June, we will head to Italy where we will spend a few days in Venice, Florence, and finally Rome.  We will fly from Rome to Baltimore around mid-June to pick up Willow, Pax, and Meri from Teh Running Bestie and finally return to Charleston.

I do not have the Italy stuff quite worked out yet, because I'm waiting on our itinerary for family time to be dictated announced by Papa G.  Once I have that information, I can work out dates/adventures for Italy.

Gentle Readers, I'm like 10 "Disney excited" gifs worth of excited right now.  I will spare you, but I do want you to imagine all that.

-I registered for Fall 2019 classes.  MY LAST FALL SEMESTER.  🙌🙌🙌🙌
I was super pissed off when my advisor pointed out that I have to take another computer science class for my Cybersecurity minor.  Like suuuuper pissed, because the only reason I signed up for that stupid minor was because it was "only ONE extra class" for computer science majors.  One extra class that will count as an elective anyways?  Ok, fine.  No.  It's TWO.  And that would be trivial, but I have one year left and my time is minimal.. ANNNDD I recently signed up to do a minor in German since I had the time in my schedule.

So now, I have a feeling I'll end up not being able to get my German minor (which really isn't that big of a deal, except I was kinda excited about it because I actually enjoy German) because to get it would mean I would have to take 6 classes during the fall semester.  I have maintained taking 5 classes per semester since I started (with the exception of semesters I've taken a science with a lab).  The reality is, the classes I've got during the fall semester are pretty difficult computer science courses.  So to have difficult classes AND an extra class on top of that (the class required for the German minor) doesn't really inspire confidence.

The reality is, neither minor will help or hurt me in the long run.  As Teh German pointed out, I will be getting my certificate from the Goethe Institute for my German accomplishments anyways, which will mean more than a minor.  Buttt, I was excited for my super huge diploma to state that I obtained a bachelor of science in computer science with minors in cybersecurity and German.  Some people double major and get a minor.  I'd do a single major with 2 minors.  It's a thing.... but for real, those weirdos who double major in computer science AND math?  GTFO with that shit.  More than once I've said it to their faces.

-I have a long lunch break between my morning and afternoon classes where I do work things.  Both Monday and Tuesday I gave up and napped for 20ish minutes.  Wednesday I fell asleep during my afternoon class.  Because I was up at 0430 on Thursday morning (hello, anxiety) I just went ahead and took a nap during my break so I could make my own decisions. Whatever my mysterious sickness is, it is lingering and I'm over it.

-Testing while in a debilitated-sick-medicated state is WHERE IT IS AT.  For real.  I took 3 tests over Thursday and Friday and I did amazing on all of them.  Better than I've ever done in one class.  Although, I did make some very obvious stupid mistakes on one of the tests, I still made a 93 on the test, so I'm not even mad.  Also, on the networks test.. I realized I hadn't done one of the assigned homework questions because I had intended to ask for help, but then I got sick and I just submitted it as is without realizing I hadn't finished it.  There was an extra credit question on that ONE question.  I got it right.  That also made up for the stupid mistakes.  #Balance

-My rescheduled TSA Pre-Check appointment was Monday at 9:50.  I was there 10 minute early, in the hopes that they were running ahead of schedule (like the ignorant dreamer I am)...  Gentle Readers.. it was 10:27 when a voice called out my name from somewhere in the building.  I shit you not.  There were no signs and no one was around the corner when I came through the doorway.  I wasn't sure where to go and I didn't want to be in some unauthorized area so I finally said, "I don't know where you are."  The response.... "In here."  Bitch.Please.  Me: "Where is here?"  Person: "The room."  Not the room on the left or the right.. just the room.  Fortunately, I'm moderately intelligent and I figured out that the room was the area with the door, not the area that went back into the depths of the office.  But seriously.. how about a sign?  how about you get off your ass?

Then, the entire process took 3 minutes.. and it only took that long because that Twatalotamus didn't tell me I should keep my fingers on the pad for the entire time, not just until the beep during fingerprints.  She checked my passport, took my photo (it was super easy to keep a neutral expression since I was already wearing my pissed off face), took my fingerprints, and took my money.  That was it.  THE END.  I've wasted almost 2 hours of my life for 3 fucking minutes?  I was ready to stab someone when I walked out of there.  Mostly because I had to wait 25 minutes for my appointment that only took THREE MINUTES.  That means that other appointments only took THREE MINUTES too.  WTF?  I 100% left them a shitty review on Yelp the first time I was there and the office was closed during business hours.  I sure as shit did NOT update it after my actual appointment took place because I was still enraged.  The receptionist was super nice, IF you had an appointment.  Otherwise, that place can DIAF.

I better save a LOT of time in security over the next 5 years after wasting so much time of my life trying to get Pre-Check.

-My end of semester -itis has started and it's just soo poorly timed.  Like, could I have gotten through another week or so?  Because NOW seems to be the time that my professors want to assign the high value tasks, rather than, idk, in the last 2.5 months of the semester that just passed?  UGH.  And I have all these tasks that require doing since they are high value and I have ZERO motivation to do them.  Also, one of my professors has told me to take my time making up the missed assignments from when I was sick and like... if I just don't do it.. what then?  JK, I could never actually do that.  I always do all my assignments.  Even if it's halfassed.

-In putting my classes on my calendar, I realized that the fall semester starts at the VERY end of August!  This is super exciting for me since it means that I'll actually get almost the entire month of August off of school... to just work.. and be "normal"...  I'm already having anxiety thinking about it.

-I discovered this week that you can use Audible credits to GIVE AUDIOBOOKS at gifts.  I know I have 2 unused credits and I've got 2 audiobooks on deck to listen to, one of which is 50-something hours?  IDK, it's long.  So I actually went to the Audible website to cancel my membership, but I ended up not cancelling.

-I wanted to love Becoming by Michelle Obama.. but Jesus Christ at the 75% point I got so depressed I almost had to stop listening.  I finished it, but the last 3-4 hours were painful.

-I have several hard copy books I purchased over the last few months and want to read.  I'm thinking they might be good for my Germany trip.

Specifically, these books, excluding the bottom 2 computer science textbooks, obvs
(well, that one in Chinese may not be quite so "obvs").

-Anything I can fit into the UV sanitizer box, goes into the sanitizer box.  I put all my school pens/pencil into the box, my mouse, my phone... I did do my tablet, but not Teh German's.  I really need to find a better home for the box, as it's currently sitting on top of the printer, which is fairly ghetto, buttt, it has a short cord and it needs to be plugged in, so options are limited at this time.

-Willow needs to go in for service before I leave for Germany since Teh German will be driving her up to MD with the dogs while I'm gone.  This means scheduling the service at the dealership since I also need them to take care of the gas estimator recall situation.  If it wasn't for fixing the recall, I'd just take Willow to Walmart for an oil change since it's cheaper.  I always manage to get off the maintenance schedule, usually I get it done earlier than it should be done, and it bothers me, so I'm trying to get back on the schedule.  And technically, my next oil change should be 12,000 miles and I'm currently at 10507 or something.  IDK.  Willow is currently in the 10k range.

While I do drive a LOT of miles to and from school each day + to work + other trips, I won't manage to get to 12k miles before I leave for Germany.  Le siiiiigh.

-This week was the start of my end of semester breakdown.  I spent HOURS looking at code getting nowhere with it.  Starting over on it 3 times.  That's the equivalent of writing half a research paper and deleting it.. x3.  I was extremely frustrated and disappointed in myself and it was a super downward spiral that went something like this...

So many people do coding/computer science things.  Why can't you do this?  This should be "simple", per the assignment, instructor, and other classmates.  What are you missing?  Why are you even going for a computer science degree if you can't even do simple Java coding?  Why should you get a computer science degree if you can't recognize this black hole in the hosts file?  Why do you have to Google everything?  Why don't you know what rules the firewall should have?  How do you not have command-line commands memorized?  Why can't you understand simple concepts that the professor is literally showing to you.  You can't always just get answers from people when you don't know, you have to LEARN these things.  But how am I supposed to learn if no one shows/teaches me?  HOWWWW???  WHHHYYY??  Are you sure you should even finish this?  Why did you even start this to begin with?  Are you even going to use this?  Do you hate it?  You should hate it because you're not good at it.  You're not good at it.  You're not good enough.  You're not enough.  You will fail. 

It was crippling on Wednesday night.  I slept for shit.  And then I remembered my Algorithms professor's lecture on Tuesday about how someone created and coded a brand new algorithm in the 70s because they forgot their notes for the lecture they were giving, so they just created a new one in the limited time before their presentation.  The professor joked that he wished he was that smart.  At some point it hit me.  I'm confident that my professor and I are the same age, if he's not actually a few years younger than me.  He has through a doctorate degree in computer science-y things.  So while he wishes he could create algorithms from scratch, I just want to be able to code in Java without feeling like my brain is turning inside out. 

And with that, I realized a few things:
1. I am trying my absolute hardest to do the best that I can without dropping all the things I'm carrying while still maintaining my non-school, non-work life.
2. Coding is HARD.  NOT EVERYONE can do it.  Yes, a lot of people that IIIII know can do it, but a lot of people that I know also don't know the difference between their, there, and they're or they can't do something else that I am good at (that I can't currently come up with an example of because I'm me).
2.5.  I'm not interested in being a software developer.  I'd much rather work in HTML and design web pages and shit like that.  I'm about making pretty things, in a nerdy way.  OMG, did I just subconsciously admit that I'm getting a computer science degree so I can give my blog a facelift myself instead of paying someone else to do it?  Because.... that's not totally untrue.
3. Data algorithms is one of the hardest classes in the computer science curriculum.  In fact, I've already failed this class once before!  We're almost at the end of the semester and I'm maintaining a B average.

And now I'm going to tie this back to something random.
In Becoming, Michelle Obama was talking about the election night when President Obama was reelected and how she was in her room getting ready for the evening, before the poll results had started to come in.  She texted someone about the current election reports and never got a response back and she essentially had a downward spiral that Barak was going to lose because she didn't hear back from that person and she thought they were just trying to save her from bad news.. and no one else was coming to her, so she just had a bad feeling, then Barak came into her room a little while later and he was super happy and excited and Michelle was confused because she thought he was losing the election.. when instead, her BlackBerry glitched and she didn't have service.  In fact, her text hadn't even been sent.  She got into her own head with her own negativity and had a downward spiral and Jesus H Roosevelt Christ if that's not me to a T.. 

Just so ya know... I'm not asking for "you can do it's!", I'm just letting my brain flow out into this space.  I'm sharing my struggles with you because it's real.  It's consuming.  And I know I'm not the only one who has these moments and downward spirals.  So I'm reaching out to tell you you're not alone and I'm also comforting myself with the fact that I know I'm not alone.  I know I'm being harder on myself than I deserve.  I know that I will be successful, even if it is painful.  I know that I will have a HUGEEEE diploma frame in the office next year with my Citadel diploma on it and it will say that I graduated with a bachelor of science degree in computer science with a minor in cybersecurity (and maybe German, who knows).  I will have achieved that.  I will achieve that while getting (and staying, tyvm) married, while working full time, while maintaining a pretty full running schedule, while being a dog mom, while getting shit the fuck done.

But first.. I have to be dramatic about it.
I'm allowed that.
I allow myself that.

And..
I AM ALWAYS ENOUGH.
ALWAYS.
I AM ENOUGH.
I AM ENOUGH.
I AM ENOUGH.

....thank you for coming to my TED talk.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Plane tickets
-Chickfila for Tuesday lunch
-Mucus Relief cough syrup from Walmart.  That shit is magical.  We have 4 bottles in our house because they changed the name and the ingredients a little and I had to stock up.  #NotSorry
-Groceries
-TSA Pre-Check
-Chegg, but I cancelled it.
-Audible credit.  I really should pause my subscription.
-Wednesday afternoon "stay awake" snack and sweet tea.
-Bojangles for Thursday breakfast after waking up at 0430.


-I have a bra I've needed to return to Victoria's Secret in my car for the last month.  I really need to take care of that.

DREI - From My Phone Shit

I made sausage gravy from scratch!
It was actually SUPER delicious.
I made it a bit too thick, but that's easy to fix!
Biscuits were frozen.  #NotSorry

When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.

I really should get back into taking photos of things.  But really, being baseline function is taking all my effort right now.  Sooo maybe next week will be better?

VIER - From the Internet Shit

Take heart.
Breathe deep.
You are further along than you think.
-MHN

The same light you see in others is shining within you, too. - MHN

If there are days where you feel your body is too tired to fill the room with laughter and good stories in the way your heart wants to, it is ok to not be all you feel you have to be, and to focus on breathing and being, knowing that even when you are quiter and your smile comes a little slower you are not empty, you are not not any less significant.  You are a traveler on a journey who is simply in need of rest in the arms of the kind of peace where she is free to just be. -MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Less than one month left of the semester.  Actually 13 days, at the time of posting this.  That is equally terrifying and exciting... because I'm over this shit, but also not looking forward to all the end of semester assignments my professors want to sling at me in the 9th hour.
2. Surviving this week.  
3. "White sauce week".  I made biscuits and gravy and alfredo this week.
4. Getting through the only races I have on my calendar for the indeterminate future.
5. Homework being due at 11:59pm.
6. Getting laundry accomplished before company arrived.
7. My UV sanitizing box.  It makes me feel less.. germy.
8. Selecting a 14 hour audiobook as my next listen.  The subsequent book will be either 25 or 55 hours.. so I mean.  I'm just putting off the inevitable.  That said, I'm in the market for FUNNY books to listen to, so I'm open for suggestions.
9. Being strong enough to step out of my downward spiral.  There were times when I would crash to the bottom before having to reach out for reassurance and help getting back up.  Being your own cheerleader is a funny thing.  Also, Teh German's unknowing (to my problems) hugs help. 
10. 
    

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Weekend Review {04/01}

FRIDAY

My goal Friday was to have a "normal" day, butttt it just wasn't in the books.  The hydrocodone cough syrup I got gives me intense headaches behind my eyes and in my sinuses, as if I didn't already have enough going on with being allergic to every.fucking.thing ever.. so that was a fun Friday morning situation I had to get through.  I teleworked for a bit, and then I headed to school. 

Because of the headache, I didn't make it to campus in time to take my engineering test first, so instead, I took my German test first, then went to German class and did my final presentation during class, then after class headed to Academic Support to take my engineering test.  Turns out, being in a semi-out of it/medicated state reallyyyyy helps me test.  Despite feeling like I did very poor (for me) on my German test, I made a 99.  My German teacher delivered it with a semi-reproachful look, then laughed at me when I told her that I had warned her it wouldn't be good, then I flipped it over to a 99.  She's like, this state of mind is working for you. 

I kept that ball rolling through the engineering exam, which only took me a very alarming 25 minutes.  Those tests usually take me a full 75 minutes, sooooo thanks medicated brain!  After the tests, I headed home and teleworked some more.  When work things were done, I headed to the couch for Meri snuggles and book time and to wait on Teh German to come home.

When he finally came home, we agreed to go out for dinner since I felt up to it.  We agreed on Charleston Burger Company since we hadn't been there and it'd been on my list for a while.  It was good, but it wasn't drive all the way there good.  Also, there was a millionty year wait since they had so many take out orders they were working on.. and they forgot to put the egg on my burger and later delivered it, SWIMMING in grease for me to put on my burger.  Uhhhh wut?  After draining the egg of the grease and dabbing it like greasy pizza (no shit, I legit did this because ingesting that grease would have 100% put me in the bathroom within 20 minutes of consuming it, guaranteed), I managed to get the egg on my burger and all over me and my plate.. It was a disaster, of course.  Teh German's burger was equally messy, so I didn't feel bad.

After dinner, we headed home and watched Modern Family until bedtime.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning, I finally completed my goal of getting up with the beasts.  I felt super productive!  Then I went back to bed and read for a little while.. and then I ended up taking a multi-hour nap.  When I woke up again at 11:30, I got up and Teh German said he wanted to be productive and pick weeds from the front yard.  I wasn't overly interested in that, but I also know that #BestWifeEver points are made by doing shit I don't necessarily like doing. 

The dogs were being annoying AF, so I got motivated and opted to take them on a short loop, because I don't really have the endurance to do the long loop and still manage to have energy to do other things after.  When I got back home, I scooped poop, and then dug up these 2 grassy plants Teh Gardener planted last year and put them by the HVAC drain in the side yard, hoping they will soak up some of the water that drains there and makes the yard a disaster (since we had to remove the drainage pipes after the HVAC disasters from last year, even though they were definitely NOT the problem).  I also relocated some other plants, then I sat down and dug up weeds from the flower bed for half of my life.  About 3/5 of the way through, I realized that I regretted my decision.  I was exhausted and you can tell the point where I stopped caring.  It looks better than it did, but there's a side that is NOT as good as the other and IDGAF.

Teh German could tell that I was tired and we had talked about riding out for dinner.  After pulling the weeds, he had washed Suzi and Bagheera, which was MUCH needed.  Also, I have ZERO idea where his motivation to pull all these damn weeds comes from.  I'm wondering if he doesn't realize that weed and seed mix exists for a reason.  Truly, it baffles me how often Teh German commits to pulling weeds.  He tricked me into that shit TWICE for the backyard and I told him NO FUCKING MORE of that shit.  It was miserable, it never helped, and I'm too fucking old for that mess.  Our backyard will always look like asshole because it doesn't get a lot of sun for growing grass and the dogs excessively "aerate" it with their zoomies.  Also, one side doesn't really get sun at all and it's either moldy or super dry.. and I don't care.  The backyard is 90% for dogs pooping.. and 10% for us sitting outside in the pergola or at the firepit.. which Pax likes to use as a centering ring for his poops.  So I mean, really, why bother?

I went inside and showered and told Teh German I needed to lay down for a short bit before I could go anywhere.  He knew that however I felt would determine if we got to ride the bikes or not, so when it was for more than "a few" minutes, he didn't rouse me.  45 minutes later, I went downstairs with my riding boots on and we picked a place for dinner called Mainland Container Co in Mount Pleasant.  I saw they had truffle tater tots and that was all I needed to sell Teh German on the idea.

When we arrived, we sat at the bar.  I could tell it was kind of a "locals" place since people at the bar knew the name of the bartender.  We ordered hushpuppies as an appetizer and placed an order for a caprice chicken sandwich (Teh German) and a shrimp platter (me, and I'd told Teh German I'd share since I doubted I could eat a full "platter").  The hushpuppies were delicious in honey, the other dips were too spicy for me to endure with my raw throat.  When our food came.. I was extremely disappointed in the $19 "platter" with ~10 "jumbo" shrimp on it.  Granted, they were touted as local, jumbo shrimp, but calling something a platter would insinuate that there are an abundance of shrimps...  I gave Teh German one shrimp and said, sorry that is all I'm sharing since there's not really much here.  The slaw was ok, but difficult to eat since it was super long strands of cabbage.. and the truffle tater tots were everything I'd imagined they would be.

This place was SUPER dog friendly, with a special dog section of the menu.

After dinner, we headed back home.  After releasing the beasts, we headed over to Teh PT House for socializing.  Around 10:30, I finally semi-forced Teh German into going home since our hosts were exhausted and he hadn't actually been smoking the cigar he'd been holding for a solid 15 minutes.  When we got home, it was bedtime.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning was a slow start thanks to 2 benedryl + hydrocodone.  I was surprised Meri let us sleep for as long as she did, until 10.  I got up with the beasts and rediscovered we were out of milk for cereal.  I went back upstairs and told Teh German of my bad news.  We agreed to grab something nearby for breakfast and make a store trip for essentials and a baby gift for a shower I was going to later.

We went to Waffle House near base, which was SUPER busy, like all Waffle Houses around here.  It's always weird to me.  Then we headed to Walmart Market to pick up milk and diapers and other shit.  I hadn't created the menu for the week yet, which means we will have to make another store run, but now we won't starve... aka we have cereal and milk.

When we got home, I laid down for a nap since I was driving to the shower, which was almost an hour away.  Teh NY Chef rode with me.  We talked to Teh Dad on the way since he called.  At the baby shower, we watched baby momma open gifts and cooed over the baby.

Around 5:30, we headed back towards home.  When I got home, Teh German suggested frozen pizza for dinner and I agreed.  We watched The Crimes of Grindlewald or whatever.  After, I talked to Teh Running Bestie for a bit and then it was bedtime.

______________________________________________

It was nice to be functional again.  Even if it took many naps.  Today is my first day back to my "normal" schedule, so we'll see how it goes.  I did tell Teh German that the gym was optional for me today since I didn't want to overdo it and he agreed.

I made up all my missed tests on Friday, which means that this week I just have to focus on getting homework finished up.  Today is also the first day of class registration, but I didn't go to my advisor so I'm not cleared to register for classes.. even though I kinda did when I pointed out a schedule conflict between 2 required classes that I needed...  Oh well.  I'll go talk to my advisor today and tell him my plan and he'll release the hold and I'll register and it will be done.  Whatevs.

Fun news, my scholarship check arrived on Saturday and I deposited that bitch quick before anyone could change their minds.  We were all confused about why it was for $5998 instead of the $6052, but whatever, close enough.

I really need to determine our final European adventures so we can purchase tickets and plan and things, but decisions are hard.. and having zero limits is even more difficult for me.  #MeganProblems #FirstWorldProblems, I know, I know.

This week includes:
-lots of homework for Data Algorithms and Cybersecurity and German classes
-i5k, The Bridge Run (both of which will be an interesting challenge since I'm in a diminished state)
-Teh Running Bestie and Gang will be arriving Thurs!


Happy April, Gentle Readers.
My flight to Germany appeared on my calendar this morning and I was shocked.  ONE MONTH TILL GERMANY!!!!

Five on Friday #188

EINS - Random Shit

-Shit I don't understand:
Our neighbors have moved out, but they often come back for things from this house.  Yet, they still park in the street, instead of on their driveway... WTFFF?

Also, I can't tell if they have left the dogs behind or not.  I know the dogs are there, but I'm not sure if they are going to the new house during the night?  I hear them barking during the day though, so it's very confusing for me.  **They definitely took the dogs with them.  The fact that it was even a question does speak volumes though....

My MIL got Teh German some type of plasma lighter for his birthday.  Cool, right?  NO, WRONG!  It makes a very high pitched noise that hurts my ears incredibly, and even more so when my ears are in their current sick-sensitive state.  I think Teh German thinks it's funny to use the lighter and test how far away I can hear it.  I CAN HEAR IT FROM ACROSS THE FUCKING HOUSE.  I WILL MAKE THAT THING DISAPPEAR.

-It is very disappointing to lose your sense of smell and taste because of sickness.  This means that any desserts consumed are wasted because you cannot enjoy them.  You might as well just have spinach for dessert.

-After navigating through the mental fog that is overdosing on sinus medication+other shit for an extended period of time, I was mentally functional.  But for real, existing is exhausting.  And breathing?  Fuck that shit.  You can have it back.

-I was so stressed out about being sick and my throat hurting sooooo bad and missing school and tests... that I gave myself a herpaderp.. in my fucking nostril.  There are no words for how fucking pissed off this made me.  Like, really, Universe?  I can't sleep through the night without coughing every 1.5 minutes for no less than an hour and a half each night and I deserve a herpaderp in my constantly runny fucking nose?!?!!  Who is making these decisions, because this shit isn't funny anymore.

-I really did think at the beginning of the week that the sick days I took would be extra study time for me, regarding the 2 tests I missed.  I had such lofty goals.  So cute.

-I missed a total of 1 week from the Death/Sickness.  Exactly, because I went to my Thursday afternoon class, Networks, since we were having a test that I didn't want to have to coordinate making up.  Also, it was open notes and he specifically said, study the homework problems.  Uhhh, better yet, I'll print all the posted solutions to the homework problems out and bring them in my notes.  The people that didn't do that are morons.  He even sent out an email on Weds saying the final hw solution was posted and to check it out before the exam.  HE LITERALLY GAVE US THE ANSWERS.  The test had different values on it, but how to work the problem was in the solutions he provided. 

-Wednesday, I was geared up to go to work, despite not sleeping AT ALL.  Teh German talked me into staying home and I'm glad he did.  I hate when he's right, but I'm glad I stayed home.  That said, Wednesday was the absolute worst and I started peeing on myself because I'd be coughing for a millionty days straight (approximately 7, but who's counting?).  I called the doctor 4 times (at 9am, noon, 2pm, and 4pm) and that fucker STILL didn't call any cough syrup in for me.  I know it won't hurt him, but I've already started looking for a new doctor.  FUCK THAT GUY, fuck that office.

Teh German came home to a bawling wife on the couch surrounded by pillows and used tissues and a laptop in her lap.  I explained what happened and he said we were going to urgent care and I told him to shower first (he'd been to the gym).  Actually, I think I said something about how I just needed to be upset about the shittiness and then after his shower we could talk about urgent care.. but when Teh German came downstairs dressed in public clothes, I knew he was taking me to urgent care whether I wanted to go or not.  I knew this would be the case and since I was on the insurance website looking for a new doc, I looked up urgent care places that my insurance covered.

At urgent care, the doc confirmed that I probably had a virus+serious allergies at the same time, which made for my disaster.  She gave me a cough syrup with codeine so I could actually get some sleep.  We went straight to CVS to have it filled.  Since it was going to take an hour, I came back for it before they closed.  I didn't sleep well, but I didn't cough all night and that was really the solution we were looking for in a trip to urgent care since my doc hadn't done anything for me.

When the original doctor's nurse called me on Thursday morning at 0900 to tell me that the doc had called in a cream for my nose herpaderp, a cough syrup (nothing good that would have helped me sleep, or I would have had to go to the office to pick it up), and extended my work/school excuse, I said OK and hung up.  Yes, I wanted to yell, but I knew it would do no good.  I'm over them.  I didn't bother to mention that I'd had to seek help from a different medical facility because they were shit.  Part of me wants to leave a scathing review online on every social media outlet I can find, but part of me realizes it's not worth that and I will probably come off as another irate woman pissed off because she had an achy throat.

-I am kinda ridiculous about utilizing tissues to the max point.  Like, I use a tissue no less than 3 times... and when I have a large stack, I'll use 2 of the (now) small folded tissues to blow into.  I'm pretty sure I had a stack of ~10 used tissues sitting on my desk on Wednesday morning and they were all super soggy and gross and when I tossed them, I was grossed out a little.

-I have been the absolute worst at communication this week.  Being sick really takes it out of me.  I have been such a shitty friend.  People are texting to check on me and I don't respond or I respond 8 hours later..  It's not you, it's me.  Awakeness is hard.  Awareness is harder. 

-I GOT GOOPY EYES from one of my medications, probably because I was allergic to it.  Specifically the $45 "Magic Mouthwash".  I could literally watch the goop producing in my eyes.  It was disgusting.  I told Teh PT Wife I was like Marcy with her goopy eye.  When I woke up on Wednesday morning, my eyes were sealed shut..... from the goop. 

-In November, another doc at this same office, prescribed me a 3rd generation penicillin antibiotic.  When I took it in November, by the end of the pills, I had a pretty bad headache and couldn't pinpoint why.  3 days into the same antibiotic this time, I started getting that headache.  On Thursday, I took NONE of the drugs that shit-doctor had prescribed and over the day, my headache disappeared.  Crazy.  Sooo turns out, I'm probably definitely also allergic to that 3rd generation penicillin antibiotic.  If I could just never get sick ever again, that would be the simplest solution to all my problems.

-I kinda wish there was more to talk about here than just how shitty it was being sick, but being sick is the only thing that has happened in the last week.  I stayed home with the dogs and was sick.  Nurse Meri smelled my breath several times a day to check if I was still sick or not.  Each time, I was still sick.

-OOOO I know of something fun that I did.  I watched the Amy Schumer stand up on Netflix.  It was pretty funny.  I think it wasn't as LOL funny to me because I've never been pregnant, but there were still parts that gave me a LOL.  Worth a watch if you're into that kind of thing.

-I got a PhoneSoap box!  It is essentially a UV light box that de-germifies things!  I bought the one that is big enough for tablets, which means that anything I can fit in that fucker will be sanitized.  It's also a nice "house" for my cell phone while I'm working on homework, so I think that will work out nicely for almost a daily sanitation round.  I'm not being paid for this, but if they wanted to compensate me in some way, I'm available.

-I have to make up my digital engineering test, which I studied for on Thursday night and kind of understood some things that felt pretty foreign to me earlier this week, so that was a positive.  I also have to make up my German test, which I'm way less worried about.  I probably should be a little worried, but my average in that class is in the mid-90s and as long as I get an A at the end of the semester, I'm not sad.

-Our security person at work seems to have it out for me and I cannot figure out why.  I'm not sure if it's because I know things about his job from having done it for 3 years or if I've pissed him off in some way that I'm not sure of.. but either way.. his emails to my boss and people that are not connected to the processes that we deal with insinuating that I'm not doing my job make me stabby.  I made sure to email him back withOUT non-associated people and in overly-thorough details that I had done my job and done it thoroughly.  Yes, I seem easy-breezy at work and super casual, but my job is important to me and doing a good job is VERY important to me.  STEP BACK.

-I rescheduled my TSA Pre-check appt.  This better go as easy as Teh German said his did, or I'm going to lose my shit.

-I had to reschedule my filling for broke tooth (no, not a cavity, tyvm) because of sickness.  It was disappointing, but not being able to breathe through my nose during a dental procedure seems risky.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Chloraseptic spray (useless, total waste of money)
-Urgent care visit for a good cough syrup script
-Good cough syrup
-Bojangles biscuit
-Cookout milkshake and sweet tea (TO SOOTHE MY THROAT, DON'T JUDGE ME GOSH)

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Get better soon flowers from Teh German, Teh Running Bestie, Teh Chief Smartass, and Teh Dogs.
Teh German also got me a very fitting card that I forgot to take a photo of.  It made me lol.

I made dinner on Tuesday night since it was super simple and I had gotten a lot of rest.
Also, lobster tails, not because we're fancy, but because I evicted them from the freezer for being there too long.
They were actually delicious, but Teh German did announce that he 100% doesn't like lobster.  Not the work to eat it part, but the flavor.  Das fine... I'll take it.

This goof has dry mouth all the time.  Probably from sleeping in such awkward ways.
This is only a problem when it's 2am and all I can hear is Pax... licking his mouth over and over and over.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

May today be the day you pull back the curtains and let the sunlight pour in over absolutely everything;
the walls, the bed, the ceiling, the floor, and take a mindful moment for the way it shines,
in a way you never have before.
And perhaps it might not fix everything but perhaps it can remind you no matter the shadows that filled the room
Light will find the way through.
~MHN

I just hop you know what happened to you was not your fault,
and it is ok to take the time you need to let your tired soul just breathe.
You do not have to hold it all in,
no matter how they made you feel.
You are worth of the time and space to begin to heal.
~MHN

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Cough syrup with codeine. FUCKING MAGIC IN A BOTTLE.
2. Teh German taking care of me.  Sometimes he's not the best nurse.  In fact, last week when I started getting sick, he was pretty mean and I called him out on it because my feelings were hurt and I was sensitive.  This week, when I was in the throes of death, he was much more sensitive to my sensitivity.
3. Walking into class on Thursday afternoon and people inquiring about how I was.  Made me feel missed.
4. Taking the dogs on a walk.  Even if it was the short loop.
5. Sanitizing my phone and charging my watch at the same time.  Just call me #MsHighSpeed
6. Workmates thanking me for keeping my sickness at home instead of coming in the office to show my face and hacking all over everything.
7. In the Death or Sickness game, it was just sickness, not death.  Although, for a while there, it was really a toss up.
8. Teh German said we might get to put some fishies in the fish tank this weekend!!!!!!
9. I posted about my strife on FB this week and I have to say, the comments and support I received were really awesome.  Also, no one openly made fun of me when I admitted that I was peeing in my pants from coughing... and adult who has never procreated.  Thanks, friends.
10. An excess of stainless steel tumblers this week, for when I was drinking from 2 tumblers all week long rather than have to refill one tumbler more frequently.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.
Also, fuck Spring.

Self-Care

Brittany posted a while ago about self-care and how it differs from person to person and it got me thinking about my self-care actions...

What do I do to take care of myself?  

These things:

Combining small loads of laundry into a bigger load so I don't have to spend half my life doing a millionty small loads of laundry.  Instead, I have to fold and put away 2 loads instead of 4/5.  Same amount of clothes, half the time.  I don't even care that my darks and lights are together.  I do sort the laundry as I normally would, then combine small loads together.  But more and more recently, I've dumped an entire hamper full of clothes in the washer and said fuck it.  #YOLO

Adding more sugar to my coffee.  In an effort to be "healthy" I try to limit the amount of sugar and creamer I put in my coffee.  Well, half a teaspoon more of sugar isn't going to kill me and my coffee always tastes better with that extra little bit.  I'll start doing more intense calisthenics between exercises at the gym to counter this maybe... but probably not because who the fuck cares?

Giving in to my cravings.  I am very much a delayed-gratification type of person.  I will put something off and off and off until finally I can't stand it and I give in.  I don't know why I do this.  I could just satisfy the craving, and usually, it goes away.  Obviously, if it's a craving that happens frequently enough to become a habit, I probably need to check myself, but having dessert with a meal is something I've accepted.  That said, I rarely left myself eat anything after 8pm on principle.

I take a bath when I'm cold.  Sometimes I'll add a bath bomb.  I know, real fancy.

I skip the post-shower squeegee sometimes.  Whoever showers last has to squeegee the shower.  Teh German only does the glass, but I do the entire shower, glass and walls.  We do this because we live in the Humidity Capital of the World (I made that fact up), so we are plagued with all sorts of mold (this is an actual fact, lest you need a reminder, see: Shitty House).  It starts as orange mold, but quickly the black mold steps in, greeting you with it's permanence and rapid offspring.  But sometimes, I just don't fucking feel like it.  So.. I don't.

I actually use the temperature dials in my car.  For an embarrassingly long amount of time, I would set the temperature and then refuse to change it.  I guess part of it was the delayed gratification part of my mind, but I've come to realize it's stupid.  When I feel cold, I can turn the heat up.  When I feel hot, I can turn the temp down.  I can also turn my seat heater on and off as I please.  I knew I could do these things before, but I neglected myself and would tell myself, "It's only ___ minutes until I arrive, I'll be fine."  That is stupid.  No mas!

I stopped trying to remember everything.  Now, if I'm upstairs and Teh German is downstairs and I think of something for the grocery list, I'll text him or yell at him (depending on whether or not it's "Teh German Time") and ask him to add something to the list.  I used to text myself, but I'd forget and things would never get written down.  I need it things to be written down/done in real time.  I've also considered putting a dry erase marker in the bathroom so I can write on the mirror so I don't forget things.  The other thing I do is to not throw away the package until I've written it on the list.  I also do this with empty toilet paper rolls.  If spare toilet paper needs to be put in the downstairs bathroom, I'll set the empty toilet paper roll on the stairs until I'm actually going upstairs, so when I see it, I'll remember to get the TP to bring downstairs.  Sometimes I bring it downstairs right then, sometimes, I put it on the bathroom counter to be delivered later... but if it's there and I can see it, it won't be forgotten.

I no longer try to do absolutely everything right now.  I've come to realize that I start to forget things when I try to do too much at once.  Additionally, I have a routine and if I break from that routine, things fall through the cracks.  I used to be able to multitask like a boss and rarely miss a beat.  These days, completing small tasks one at a time is more efficient since something that is forgotten is more critical than it used to be.

I don't try to carry everything at once.  Two trips won't kill me.  It might injure my pride, but I won't break anything when I, inevitably, drop something.

Instead of waiting until I go to leave to put my gym bag in the car, I will put it in the car after I go downstairs after unpacking and repacking it.  It's one less thing I have to remember AND carry the next morning.  I have also started to do this with my backpack, if I don't need to use my computer the next morning.

Dog breakfast/dinner is prepared ahead of time.  This way, it's a matter of adding water and putting the bowls down.

Instead of nesting folders/files to be "organized", I put often accessed folders/files at the root level so I don't have to keep clicking through a millionty folders to find them.  When I no longer need the files frequently, I "put them away".  This is particularly important for my school stuffs and for my Dropbox.  I spent YEARS clicking through a millionty folders to find something in the name of organization.  Lies.  My shit is still organized, it's just not OCD organized.  This is ok.  I needed to let it go.  There has to be a trade off between OCD and efficiency and it took me 33 years to figure it out.

I let other people do it their way.  This is one of the hardest things that I do in the name of self-care.  I'm a control freak.  My way IS the best way.  Except that if it's frustrating me and making me tired to be in control, it's not the best way.  This has become particularly important for me with Teh German picking up cooking duties and with the cleaners.

Always having a backup.  I hate, hate, hate having to go to the store because we are out of a necessity.  I like to go to the store on my terms, for at least 2+ items (because if I only need 1 thing, I'm ordering that bitch from Amazon).  We always have extra toilet paper and hygiene items, for example.

No longer using Viva paper towels.  I love how soft Viva paper towels are.. but guess what.. They are a pain in the ass to rip off the roll and it gets on my nerves so badly I will not be purchasing them again.  TAKE THAT, VIVA.

Grocery pick-up.  Not getting to pick out my own fruit/veggies doesn't compare to the convenience of ordering my shit and then someone bringing it to my car.  I risk it.  I've only been disappointed once, but not so much I bothered with exchanging it.  I do still pick out my own meats, but often because I stock up at one time instead of ordering meat with my regular grocery order.

Do you do any of these things, too?
What are things that you do to take care of yourself?

Weekend Review {03/25}

FRIDAY

Friday was no work, no school because of sickness.  The one thing that sickness hasn't deterred has been the Laundry Fairy, so la-die-da motherfuckers.  

I had a doctor's appointment at 1015 where a flu test determined I didn't have the flu and the doctor just kinda said, "Yeah, maybe it's a virus?"  I left with a steroid shot, instructions to keep taking my sudafed/advil combo, and schedule a follow up if necessary.

I had already missed my German class, so I stopped by the Chiro since I was feeling particularly out of sorts.  Then I headed to my TSA Pre-Check appointment that was supposed to be at 12:30.  Complication: The office was closed when I pulled up at 12.  But then I was informed by another person waiting that they reopened at 12:30, which was fine.  I then checked the hours online and Googly informed me that this place reopened at 1pm, which was extremely confusion for someone who had an appointment at 12:30.  Teh German had an appointment scheduled for 12:40, so he eventually showed up.

I quit waiting at 1:15, determining that I felt like shit and I was tired of waiting.  Teh German stuck around for another 45 minutes and reported that the person never showed up.  WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THAT SHIT?  How is that even ok?  I cannot.  Teh German rescheduled his appointment for Monday afternoon (which he said was a breeze, yeah because the fucktard showed up to work...).

I had been on the hunt for my travel soap dish, so I stopped by Target since I was in the area.  Target only had 2 piece (separable) soap dishes and that is not what I was looking for.  Also they were $3.50  WTF.  I picked up a few items at Target that were on my list, a bunch of dog toys we didn't necessarily need but I liked, and then headed home.  On my way home is a Walmart, so I made a last attempt to get my soap dish.  When I walked to the aisle, the travel stuff was pretty empty, like it had been the weekend before, but then a person moved and there were heavenly beams upon the $1 travel soap dishes.  I picked my color and headed to the checkout.

Since I was there, I also stopped at Sam's to get gas.  I don't think any of this would have been possible without the steroid shot, buttttt we'll never know because I got home and crashed.

Teh German eventually came home and we had a call set up with a fish tank person about this piece of equipment that we couldn't get setup.  The tech couldn't get it setup either, so we're exchanging it for a new one.  Alrighty then.

Friday night was spend watching The Office until it was bedtime.

SATURDAY

I had originally planned to be on dog duty this weekend, but sickness said, no thanks.  Teh German got up with the dogs and I tried to sleep in, but instead I spent the time I was trying to fall back asleep choking on my phlegm, so I just got up and brushed my teeth.

I can't really recall what this day included, but I felt like shit, so probably a nap and medicine.

We did go out for dinner at a place called Momo's which had good reviews.  I still had the ability to taste and smell at this point, so I can attest that this poutine with bbq and cheese curds was ahhhhmazing.

After dinner we picked up some chloroform Chloraseptic.  It didn't do anything but numb my mouth for a few seconds.  The part of my throat that hurts is deeper than the spray can reach, so it was pointless.

After our outing, we went home and gathered the fam and headed over to Teh PT House.  The beasts needed some activity time, so Pax and I threw the frisbee while Meri patrolled the perimeter.  It took less than 5 minutes for both of us to get tired.  Teh PT Husband did share his coffee with Pax, at first unknowingly, then willingly.  Pax wasn't sad.

Eventually, it was bedtime for everyone and we headed home.

SUNDAY

Sunday started as a lazy day.  Again, Teh German got up with the dogs and I tried to sleep in, but again, I was choking, so instead I got up and brushed my teeth and took a shower to steam some of the snot out of me.  I then proceeded straight to the couch to lay down because showering is exhausting.

We both ended up taking naps.

After I woke up, I headed to the office to get some homework/test studying accomplished.  It was minimal, but it was accomplished.  This is the worst time to be sick since I have 3 tests this week: German, Networks, Digital Engineering.

As I was finishing up my school stuff, Teh German started working on dinner.  I did eventually go into the kitchen and help since we'd agreed to make lasagna and he'd never made it before?  IDK if that is actually true or not, but he kept asking questions, so I instructed him through the process.  Before we ate dinner, my sense of taste and smell finally went, so I assume the lasagna was delicious, but I really have no idea.  I froze about half of it for another time so we don't have to eat ourselves sick of lasagna.

After dinner, we headed back to the couch and finally finished up The Office.  I spent most of the last 2 episodes crying.  When Michael shows up with his "That's what she said," and when Jim gave Pam the video from the crew.  It's really a bummer I have the plague and Teh German isn't touching me, because it would have been a cute snuggly moment.  But no, the death-sickness cockblocked me. Ugh.

After we finished the series, we watched some bloopers on YouTube and then it was time for bed.

______________________________________________

Sick weekends fucking suck.  I actually went back to the doctor this morning because Monday = day 5 of feeling like this and I cannot with this shit.  I get the science of riding it out and letting your body heal itself, but I do NOT go to the doctor unless it's absolutely unavoidable, so when I went on Friday, I should have been more insistent.  Today, I was VERY insistent.  In addition to the same shit that is going on, I have the beginnings of an ear infection.  "Very strange in an adult," per Dr. Fucking Obvious.  I finally received prescriptions for antibiotics, some throat numbing stuff, and some other medications that I have no idea what it's for. 

But let me tell you a quick story... because #MeganProblems are real.. and this is a prime example.

When the doc asked me what pharmacy I wanted the scripts sent to, I told him a specific one.  This specific one is NOT the same as what they have on record.  The nurse came back in, told me the doc had sent in the scripts and I was good to go.  I checked out, got my doctor's note, and headed to the pharmacy I had told him to send the scripts to.  Went in, talked to pharmacist who said the scripts hadn't been put in yet.  I go sit and wait for an indeterminate amount of time (because I'm so doped up on advil/sudafed/cough syrup, I have no concept of time).  Someone asks me what I'm waiting on, I tell them, they check, still not in.  I have had enough, I'm exhausted from showering and leaving my house and being in public and I say that I cannot wait any longer.  On my way to the car, I call the dr's office and ask where the scripts were sent to.  Definitely NOT the pharmacy I had requested.  Nope, they were sent to the place on file. 

Look, people, I'm sick AF.  I can barely function.  Feeding myself is a feat at this point.  But to NOT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME and then I end up wasting time while I feel like death?  I WILL KILL YOU.  So I headed to the pharmacy that was on file.  The scripts are not filled yet because they have on file that I'm allergic to one of the scripts and they had to call the doc.  I tell them it is ok and to fill them.  The pharmacist then informs me that 1 of the medications is NOT covered by my insrance and will cost $45.  And another medication is only partially covered and will cost $30?  She asks if it's oki and I tell her that really it's not, but that I don't even care right now, just fill all of the scripts.  Pharmacist tells me it will take 25-30 minutes.  I.cannot.  I literally can.fucking.not at this point.  I tell the pharmacist that I'll have to send someone to pick them up because I literally need to go to bed right.now. and I pull away fighting the frustration tears that I can no longer fight.  I cry most of the way home, because there are very few things I can't handle, but not being self-sufficient is one of those things.

When I got home, I gathered myself and called Teh German and warned him that I was probably going to cry because I was frustrated... and I did.  I explained the entire morning to him and he said he would leave work right then and go pick up my meds.  I explained that the medications were going to be expensive and that I was planning on using my HSA card to pay for them, but I had the card and they wouldn't allow me to pay for them in advance.  Teh German said it was alright, he'd just pay for them and he'd bring them to me. 

I said ok and went to bed.  Where I proceeded to be unable to find a position to lay in where:
1- my nose wasn't dripping.
2- I wasn't constantly coughing.
Not that I can accurately judge time in this state, but I was figuring that about every 1.5 minutes, I had to cough.  Do you know what prohibits rest?  COUGHING ALL THE FUCKING TIME.  It really felt like it took half my life for Teh German to arrive.  It really only took him an hour, but I had to check my phone to get that math. 

Teh German dropped off my meds and headed back out the door.  I took my meds and tried to fall asleep, still coughing every 1.5 minutes.  I finally gave up and took some of the cough syrup that I keep on hand for tough times like these.  THAT was what finally helped me get to sleep.  Not a very good sleep, between the nose drips, dry throat, inability to swallow without wincing, coughing, and the neighbor's fucking barking dogs, but a mediocre amount of rest.

I have high hopes that with the antibiotics, I'll be back in business no later than Wednesday.  I was really hoping for tomorrow because I really hate missing class, but I just do not think it is wise to take a test and try to stay awake during class when on medications that say, "May cause drowsiness."



So yeah.. that's where I am in life.
I'm also down 3-5 pounds depending on the day, so there's that silver lining.

Five on Friday #187

EINS - Random Shit

-My dentist's office has an office dog.  His name is Gator and we're besties.  Gator also sat on Teh German's foot when we were trying to leave.  Does that make them besties too?  Asking for a friend.  Also yes, we go to the dentist at the same time.  This really simplifies things when it comes to insurance and questions from Teh German.  Also, I loved my dentist's office before Gator came into the picture.

-I left my water bottle on the plane when I landed in Baltimore by accident.  I'm not overly sad since it was bent on the bottom and was wobbly, but it meant I "had" to order another one.  Super pumped about this life choice.

-In addition to my life derailing because I was busy, I started getting sick on Wednesday.  All day, I complained about a headache, and if you know me, I only complain when the headache is BAAADDD.  I'm used to severe headaches, so a minor headache doesn't warrant complaining about.  But when the light and sound sensitivity kicks in, then I start whining.  Despite the advil and sudafed I took (assuming it was #BarometerHead), nothing helped.  Even at the gym, the instructor noticed I was wincing when I punched and I had to explain that my head was hurting.

Thursday, I woke up with a sore throat, ears that felt like they were going to explode, my entire body ached, and again with the headache.. but I HAD to go to class since we were doing a test review in my Engineering class that I really needed to attend, and if I was going for that class, I might as well go to the class before it since I've already failed that class before..  So I did.

And I wanted to die.

By the time the test review class was over, I knew that I couldn't wait another 3 hours for my afternoon class and went to the instructor's office to hand in my homework and explained that I wouldn't be in class because I was going home to die, possibly.  I didn't.  But it might have been easier, just saying.

Nurse Meri has been on duty since Wednesday.
This morning I woke up to Meri face directly in my face, because she was concerned about my unusual breath smells.

Friday came and I wasn't feeling better, despite ALL the medications I've inundated my system with.  I scheduled a doctor's visit for 1015 and they were like, "We don't know what's wrong with you because the flu test came back negative."  12 hours later, I realized they didn't ONCE look in my throat to see if it was something other than sinus drainage...  I did get a steroid shot, but Teh German pointed out that it didn't seem to help me like it helps him.  He almost immediately feels better.  I am still barely functioning.  So yeah.  Good stuff.

-I really hate forgetting to pay for doctor related things with my HSA card.  Ugh.

-I also really hate that my credit card is still in Myrtle Beach.  I have been missing out on cash back rewards and card rewards because I don't have it and it makes me sad.  I'm trying to be patient, but it's not working.  If I had just cancelled the card and requested a new one, I would already be back in business 2 weeks ago.  I have been able to use it with online orders and anytime tap-to-pay is available, but still, I am sad.

-My German teacher approached me and asked if I received either of the study abroad scholarships that I'd applied for.  I told her yes, I had received one of the scholarships, but I didn't know how much it was for.  Essentially, she needed to know if I'd gotten a scholarship or not because if I hadn't, the German department was definitely going to give me a scholarship.  If not, then someone else who had applid would receive the money.  She asked me to verify the total of the scholarship, so I did.

It's official.  I GOT A $6052 SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!
I won't even lie, I did a little jig right in the office of the lady who clarified the total for me and she giggled at my reaction.

-Teh German and I had TSA Pre-Check appointments scheduled on Friday at 12:30.  We showed up at the office and no one was there.  We waited for over and hour with 5+ of our new stranger friends and still nothing.  There was no sign on the door that the person was out of the office, just the hours sign that confusingly stated that they closed for lunch until either 12:30 or 1, we couldn't really determine.  Online hours said they reopened at 1, which was very confusing for me, since I had a 12:30 appointment.  I 100% pulled out my sassy white bitch persona and called TSA to clarify.  Turns out, this location is the ONLY location for Pre-Check within 2ish hours.  So obviously, I'm overjoyed at this turn of events.  Teh German has already rescheduled his appointment.  I'm just going to wait and see what happens.  I'd rather drive to Columbia than waste half my life on some asshole who doesn't fucking show up to work. 

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Goethe Institut tuition.  It's official, I'm going to Germany people!
-Exterminator
-Chegg
-Audible subscription
-Spotify subscription
-Dog food
-Bully sticks
-Boot for water bottle (so I don't dent it again)
-Straw lid for water bottle
-Thermometer (after forgetting to put it on my list no less than 3 times)
-Gas
-Doctor visit
-Chiro
-Cookout milkshake for soothing my achy throat
-Cell phone
-Utility bills

DREI - From My Phone Shit

When you start shivering uncontrollably for no reason, it calls for a middle of the day bath which would scald off your skin under normal circumstances.  I didn't get out until I started sweating.

Riddle me this, Batma, why the fuck are the burger patties on my Big Mac so fucking miniscule?
This made me pretty stabby.

It took 3 different store trips to acquire this stupid soap container.
BUT IT IS DONE.

This is what happens when I go to Target.
DOG TOYS.
Now, I'm good for Pax's Gotcha Day in May and whatever else may come up.

These fucking stalkers.

My 1" binder and I have been fighting, so I finally upgraded to a 1.5 inch.
And promptly decorated it with unused stickers I had on hand.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

I stole this from Steph because #truth

This was a good idea in theory, but maybe not in execution.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Being back into my routine.  I thrive on routine.
2. Steroid shots, even if they didn't magically make me feel better.
3. $6000 scholarships.  Like for real this time.  I will now allow myself to be excited.
4. Hot baths.
5. Finally registering and paying for study abroad things.. like the course and the plane ticket.
6. Getting this post up only 1 day late.
7. 35 more days of Spring 2019.
8. Finishing all of the online homework for one of my classes for the rest of the semester. Out of sight, out of mind, is my motto.
9. Stickers on my new school binder.  Specifically the "Not today Mugglefucker" one.
10. Sickness = weight loss.  

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.