I went home and said to Teh Mom, please tell me I never sounded like that! Teh Mom, crusher of all dreams, "oh yes, you used to talk like that." Me: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
But sometimes there is an obvious communication gap between his Yankee and my Southern. Actually its probably just a gap between Southern and the rest of the world, but any opportunity to give him shit for being a Yankee is welcome.
Best example to date:
I live near 2 intersections. One intersection has always had a red light, the other has a fairly new red light, and many of the locals aren't used to it yet, so they gun it after the first red light, only to realize they will be stopping for another red light in about 50 more yards, queue the brakes. Recently, a truck jackknifed at the red light because he was trying to stop for the red light. There was also a familiar thump of impact with a car. And since I'm that nosey person that lives in the building beside said intersection, I, of course, peeped out my windows to see what had happened.
When it was video time with Teh Bear, I relayed the story to him.
M: So I was napping today, and all of a sudden, I heard tires squallin. And it wasn't the short squall, like oops the light is red must stop squall. It was the squall from red light to red light. There were black marks from a dump truck that had tried to stop, from pretty much the prior intersection to the point at which he stopped. There was also a car in the middle of the intersection, which I think was hit when the truck jackknifed, because the truck was taking up both lanes when it finally stopped and this car was not in the right place.
tB: Wow that sounds intense.
M: Yeah, it was a lot of brake squallin.
M: No, tires squallin, like the sound when you press the brakes and come to a sudden stop.
tB: That's squealing.
tB: Do you know what a squall is?
M (I didn't exactly know): Something nautical?
tB: You're in the Navy, you should know this!
M: Hey, I know its nautical, I've never been to a ship, don't get sassy.
tB: A squall is a storm at sea.
M: Well, squallin' is the sound that cars make when they are trying to make a sudden stop.
tB: I just thought you were saying squealing wrong.
At this point I send Teh BFF a text that said: what is the sound that brakes make when you come to a sudden stop?
tBFF: Well, I say squall, but you probably say squeal.
M: Nope, definitely just told Teh Bear a story about tires squallin to a stop and he thought I was sayin squealin wrong. lol
I relay this information to Teh Bear. He laughs. He comments that my Southern is so cute. I grimace. Then the shit talkin started.
tB: So the tires were squallin in the desert. Is this like a storm of tires in the desert?
At which point all I can envision is a hurricane of old tires swirling around in a dust storm.
M: Of course, only the best sand storms come with tire squalls. Bowl (which is actually me calling him a butthole, but he says that when I say it, it sounds like I'm calling him a bowl, like what you eat cereal out of).
Teh Bear just smiles at me, with his victory smile. I stick my tongue out at him and call him a jerk for good measure, so he knows that I'm trying to call him names, not kitchen items.