Confessions {4/19}

-When I think of the fact that it takes me ~7.5 minutes to print out one envelope and consider how many hours I spent designing the damn things, I question my mental stability and wonder WHY I thought it was a good idea to do anything myself.  Then I remember that it would have cost me ~$.50 per envelope to have the addresses printed AND we would have had to finalize the guest list in March when we had the invites printed.  #FiguredItOut


-After that one time of Teh German telling me he was tired of working on wedding stuffs (ya know, when he had been sitting in the same room with me playing games on his phone while I actually did the work and every now and then I asked him for his opinion on something), this situation was kind of a slap in the face...

We went to the Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness/Atlas Genius/Night Riots concert downtown on Monday night.  That morning we were trying to figure out dinner plans.  Teh German asked if there was anywhere I wanted to go and I told him I wasn't sure, but I could research some places.  

Let me explain what "researching some places" actually means...  It means going onto the Yelp site and putting in a destination address and sorting through the mabillionty restaurants available in that area (because downtown Charleston) and filtering through them to find what is actually in the vicinity and somewhere that isn't $$$$ that isn't going to take forever that has something recognizable on the menu that could be tasty.  I find my top contenders and go to their website to view the menu.  I generally try to find 1-5 different options, depending on who I'm eating with.  Does Teh German see any of this?  No.

A bit later, I message him with 3 different dinner options, BBQ, burgers, or Greek with links to each menu.  He selects the greek place.  I say, "Done."  He says, "Easy peasy."



I didn't say anything, I just let it go, but the struggle was real.  I knew that he was probably talking about making the decision, not the entire process behind it and I was reading too much into it.  But I honestly don't know the proper way of going about saying, "I feel extremely underappreciated for the things I do," without coming off like a cunt.  

I think maybe my epic to-do list is burning me out (yet again) and maybe we just need to sit down and have a conversation about how sometimes, living with him is like living with a child where I have to make all the decisions for someone who constantly huffs and puffs at me for being slightly inconvenienced or if he doesn't get his way.  I sometimes imagine just NOT doing all the things I do, but the prospect of the household spinning out of control is something I cannot stomach.  The real problem is that I can't really delegate any of my tasks other than the cleaning and I know that would go over like a lead balloon.

I try to go out of my way to acknowledge his contributions (dishes, yard work) and thank him andTeh German DOES do things around the house, yet there are just times that I feel like everything I do (which my super flexible job enables me to do) goes mostly unappreciated.  I also realize that he can't read my mind, which is why we need to have this conversation, but I can't help myself from thinking how nice it would be if people just offered to help.  #EndRant
PS.  I think living with Teh Running Bestie spoiled me.


-I slayed my to-do list on Monday.  I sat in a spare office and made calls for hours to take care of business.  Things I accomplished:
  • Sign up for fall races (Isle of Palms Connector 10k, James Island Connector 10k, Kiawah Island 1/2).
  • Purchase stamps (I bought 2 books each of the blue and colored heart stamps, a random stamp will go on a random envelope, done).
  • Called Ortho about moving forward with hip appts (his assistant called me back and I have a pre-op appointment scheduled for May 16th - queue my heart palpitations).
  • Contacted Dan Ryan about our 1 year "fix it" list.
  • Scheduled Phil's sonogram.
  • Scheduled a dental for Phil for May 22, the day we're driving from MD to SC.  Just a half day pit stop.  
  • Scheduled Meri and Phil's yearly wellness visit - a few weeks early since I hadn't spoken with the Ortho at that point.
  • Emailed CSU about my missing NC State transfer credits (I almost loled when the admissions person "explained" that my NCSU transcript hadn't been received when they did the assessment.  Funny, since the NCSU transcript arrived 3/1 and the other transcripts arrived 3/13-17th, but mmkay).
  • Walked Teh German through sharing his calendar with me (so I know when he plans things and forgets to share them with me, which isn't often).
  • Ordered new checks with my eventual new last name and updated address (since the address on them now is from 4 moves ago...).
  • Made dinner reservations for Monday evening since we were going downtown for the Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness/Atlas Genius/Night Riots concert.


-Things I have made progress on since posting my to-do list on Friday:
  • I started addressing envelopes.
  • I started editing Asheville photos.
  • I created a team for the pre-wedding 10k, so hopefully others will join us.




-The concert was fantastic and Andrew McMahon crowd surfed on an inflatable duck..  I kept the concert going on Tuesday in my earbuds with my Monday Night Concert playlist on Spotify.  #notsorry

-The way people in our office load the dishwasher drives me absolutely insane.  Seriously.  Every time I go to put something in the dishwasher, I end up rearranging it to better fit MORE dishes.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE!

-We're running a 10k the weekend before the weekend and we've already planned to do "Runaway Bride" and "Runaway Groom" shirts.  Fortunately, we'll be "running away" together.  I'm kinda hoping more of our guests that are in town at that time will join us since they also have a 5k at the same time (they just get bused back to the 10k finish line).

-When I went home early yesterday to let Phil out to avoid an accident in his crate, I sat down at the computer to finish up my work day and also managed to get some envelopes printed out.  #killinit


-I really like it when Papa G complements my using German (which I try to do when I'm sending short, simple messages in WhatsApp, please don't be impressed by me), and he signs his messages to me (not to Teh German AND I), "Love Dad"


-I find it amusing when people on the "Reclaimed Bride" sites on FB say, "Only used once!"  Also, why would you ever try to sell something with your hashtag on it?  That just seems like a bad idea.  #Learn2socialmedia

-I potentially made a bad life choice this morning.  When I went into the kitchen to get hot water for my tea, I noticed that someone had brought food in to share with instructions that said to put the sausage roll on the homemade bread, add mustard, and enjoy.  All the ingredients were there, so I figured why not.  It was as I brought the concoction to my face that I noticed little green spots on the bread.  Uhhh, kthxnope.  But instead of thoroughly thinking it through, I went ahead and ate the sausage.  If the bread had mold on it, how old was the sausage that I just ate.  If I'm dead later (or unable to leave the bathroom), we know why.  #possiblepoorlifechoice

-DDDUUUUDDDDDEEEEEE... So.  A few weeks ago, I bought a couple's massage from Groupon.  Now, sometimes I'm skeptical over Groupon massages because some places are always offering a Groupon deal to bring in customers maybe because they are shady or not that good.. but whatevs.  I'm all about saving dollas, so I was like, at least it is a massage.  Last night, after Teh German had thoroughly fouled my mood, he pretended like everything was ok and we headed to our massage.  I was so tight from stress that I was twitching.  Then this little Asian lady got her hands on me and I melted and OMG IT WAS SO GOOD.  I told Teh German that I wanted to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me forever.  When I flipped over, she commented that she liked to hear groans and moans because it was positive feedback that she was doing a good job.  Well, I am happy to acquiesce.  I asked her what she was doing November 1st.  Of course, she didn't get it, but I'm seriously thinking about just planning a massage the morning of the wedding with her because she's perfect and I'm willing to drive the 30 minutes it takes to get there for forever if she's workin' out my knots.  I'm so sore today, as expected since she did some serious deep tissue work, but I can tell a difference and I didn't wake up with my shoulders at my ears this morning!  If you're local, the place is called Massage Serenity Spa.

^^Me preparing to make my visits regular.

-I can feel my pain killers kick in because my brain gets a little fuzzy/loopy and I feel like I have mild vertigo.  I assume this "high" feeling is why people get addicted to pain killers.


-PS.  It might be PMS week.  Thus the appearance of Teh Drama Llama Megan and Teh Drama Llama German.  I always forget that for as much as I feed off Teh German's state of being/mind, he also has some pretty severe PMMS (premenstrual MAN syndrome).  Anyone else's SO get PMS from YOUR cycle?  Please say I'm not the only one who has to deal with this.



Comments

  1. About 1,000xYes to ALL THE THINGS about you making the decisions. Same here. It's actually not that easy, and yes maybe I could care a little less...but you could also give like 3 more fucks about pretty much everything. Just 3, dude.

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  2. Way to tackle that list! I started making baby tackles yesterday on mine. I don't mind making decisions but YES to feeling underappreciated to the effort that it takes...ALL THE TIME! Good choice on both stamps.

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  3. you should definitely get a massage the day of your wedding. why the hell not.

    as for being underappreciated, making decisions etc.. i know we've talked about it before, but you guys have gotta do the love language thing lol and communicate. the thing is, the shit that is important to me isn't important to KC. i love to research and plan things, especially travel, and then we go on the trips and he gets to enjoy all my hard work without doing any of the work himself? i could get mad, but if he has a good time or enjoys something i picked, it makes me feel really good. as for things like eating out, i'm horrible at making decisions so your example doesn't work for us hahaha because i would be teh german in that situation. but as for things that i care about in normal day to day life and KC doesn't.. i don't say this in a shitty way, but if i gave a fuck for every time KC didn't give a fuck? i'd have no more fucks to give. lol. and it's not worth my energy. there are definitely times i have snapped and requested some appreciation though.

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