Saturday, August 20, 2011

McDonald's... the Arabia kind.

Sometimes I like to tell myself "I need protein" (in a food, not in a dirty way, you pervs!) and then find it with a side of delicious McDonald's fries.  It's complicated.  But the fries are delicious and burgers have protein, right?  So, the other night I was debating in my head what I wanted from McDonald's.  I mean, they deliver until 3am (since its Ramadan, otherwise they deliver 24 hours), so it was really a matter of what did I want.

So, since most places on American Alley have fairly navigable websites, I figured I'd search for Bahrain McDonald's and see what came up.  Hello, McDonald's Arabia.  I did the work and went to the Bahrain page, but if you click on the McDonald's logo it will take you back to the first page that shows the Arabian Peninsula.

I usually just get the Big Mac meal, because its delicious no matter what country you're in.  But, the McArabia is also pretty delicious.  So I was torn.  I kinda wanted a Big Mac, but didn't really.  So I went to the menu link on the site, which was pretty handy dandy.  I knew I wanted fries, so a value meal it was.  This is probably the most advanced site I've been to that deals with anything Bahraini, no jk.  I ruled out the McArabia, because I really wanted a burger.  But I didn't want a Big Mac, and a Quarter Pounder or McRoyale (yeah they call them that here), they were just too much burger.  But 2 cheeseburgers with fries and a drink?  Perfect, cause I could eat one burger for lunch and one for dinner!  Win.

So, I called them up and placed my order.  Madam Megan waited for her food, but since I was on the site, I decided to poke around a bit more.  I was definitely amused by the Kids drop down menu, where Grown Ups was the bottom link.  But then it turned out to be stuff for parents related to kids, so it wasn't as amusing as I thought.  I was hoping it was like kid stuff for grown ups, like cool complicated coloring pages or something.

Since I had nothing better to do, I clicked on the absolute truths about McDonald's.

Click if you want to read it
Pretty much it said McDonald's in the Middle East are better than the one's in America, in a nice way.  It also talked about how they don't interefere or support any political/religious activities and they have halal certificates.  I had no idea what that was.  It sounded... middle eastern, or Islamic, I couldn't really tell which since one is not ambiguous of the other and vice versa, despite common beliefs, but I clicked it anyways, because I was curious by now.

click to read
It pretty much said, we have standards, bitches.  Sans the bitches part.  And I could view the certificates to prove it.  Again, curious, I did.
Chicken one
Beef one
Fries one
I'm not going to lie, this was probably way more interesting to me than to any of my Gentle Readers.  But, I found it so interesting that I knew that a FB status update just wouldn't suffice.  Hello, ingenious blog idea!

All the time you hear about how entire chickens are ground to make chicken nuggets, which is really some type of freaky paste stuff, breaded and fried, and Americans consume chicken nuggets like there isn't a tomorrow.  I personally don't really do chicken nuggets, and if I do, its because I stole one from someone, and I'll usually de-bread it before I eat it.  I'm strange like that.  I don't eat the chicken nuggets here, but maybe they are better because they are prepared according to Islamic standards, which I'd assume are way better than American standards.

I mean, some Muslim man literally takes a knife, says the magic words, and cuts a chicken to kill it before it can be prepared.  Can you imagine doing that  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  "Bismallah, Allahu Akbar."  cut.  For each chicken.  I don't even begin to fathom how many chickens are killed a day by the Muslim man.  Is there a shortcut for this process?  Because that seems like it would get old.  Like maybe there's a machine of sharp knives in a room and there's a man on a microphone that stands in the room, or the microphone is projected into the room of cows or chickens prepared for slaughter and he says it once and he pushes a button on the machines and all the animals are cut at the same time?  Either way, its effort that I doubt any non-Muslim American would do.

Or so I assume.  I mean, I'm not in the chicken killin' business, but I know there's a Tyson plant not far from where my recruiter's office was.  I'm sure that eventually I'll go on leave or be in America again (haha, see that foreshadowing about America, not about leave..) and I could go ask 'em.  "Oh, excuse me, I was just wondering the steps you took in killing the chickens.  Do you bless them first?  How do the Atheists feel about that?  Do Christians think its blasphemous?  Do Muslims even look at your heathen chickens?  Do you just use a machine?  Do you euthanize them?  Do you cut off all their heads with a massive saber?  Is it a test to see who can kill chickens the fastest?"  I feel like the saber option is probably the most fun.  It's like chicken hockey..  except the purpose is.. cuttin' off chicken heads.  The person who cuts off the most heads the fastest with minimal injury to other parts of the chicken wins.  Sometimes, its so glaringly obvious that I was raised in the south.  heheheheheehe.

So yeah, McDonald's in the Middle East.. They haz standards, yo.  That still doesn't explain why the ketchup packets have to taste so weird though.....

Oh and since its Ramadan, the call center man made sure to offer me an apple or berry pie to go with my meal.  I think my favorite part is that on the ad they offer them a la mode, which if you haven't had an apple pie from McDonald's (heated), with ice cream and caramel... you need to.  One of the few things I learned from the ex-fiance' was that McDonald's did Apple Pie a la mode if you could talk them into it, most employees now don't even know its offered until you tell them, some outright refuse.  Sometimes, they also have brownies a la mode too, that was a good time in my life.. :)



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