Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Honeymoon Part 1 of 5

Thurs, May 17

We started pre-gaming our honeymoon on Thursday, May 17.  I worked in the AM and then when Teh German came home at lunch time, we finished packing, put Meri and Pax outside, loaded Yurtle, made sure we didn't forget anything, and started the drive to Teh Running Bestie's house.

The drive was moderately eventful.  I got to shove an extra anxiety pill down Meri's throat.  I also forgot to bring dog food for dinner, sooooo Meri and Pax got to have Chickfila for dinner.  #MomOfTheYear

When we were about 10 minute out, Teh German noticed that Yurtle had rolled over 100,000 miles.  Aaaaaannnnnddd, not only was he driving during this momentous event, he didn't even notice until over 100 miles later.  I cried on the inside for missing this milestone with my Yurtle Girl Machine.

We made it and then it was pretty much bedtime.


Friday, May 18

Originally, we were supposed to help set up for the GEGR picnic on Friday, buuutttttt Thursday the picnic had been officially rescheduled so we didn't really have any commitments anymore.  I had woken up with Teh Running Bestie and eventually went back to bed with a headache after she left for work.  I stayed in bed until 1230 fighting said headache and finally got up to run errands.  Teh German and I hit up Mission BBQ for lunch, then ran my etc errands at Sally's, the post office, and Walmart.  In the evening, we watched Coco (which was cute, but didn't knock any of my faves out of the running) and since no one was feeling motivated, I suggested we order pizza for dinner.

I placed the Pizza Hut order online and went and fetched it.  For the rest of the evening, we chilled and was lazy until bedtime.


Saturday, May 19

Originally, we would have been at the GEGR picnic most of the day, but since it was cancelled, we had a lazy day.  After finally eating lunch, Teh Running Bestie and I hit up Home Goods to look around and then stopped by Dairy Queen for an ice cream cake.  When we got home, I made doggy cakes since Pax's birthday was the 18th and Olive's birthday was the 23rd. 

In the evening it was CAH with friends, which I lost, and eventually bedtime.


Sunday, May 20

Sunday, we were lazy, but had lunch at Red Robin (and we got our parking spot) then when to Greyhound Central (GHC) to let the dogs run and to visit with some GEGR friends since we wouldn't get to see them at the picnic.  While we were socializing, Pax and Meri disappeared.  They were discovered at the bottom of a 15-20 foot bank at the edge of the water.  Someone noticed something black with a white tip moving back and forth (Pax's tail wagging) and we figured they had chased something down the bank and couldn't get back up.  Since the bank is covered in poison ivy and other nasties, the owner of the property changed into long sleeves and pants and went down to fetch our beasts.  Teh German also went down the bank with her to help.  Teh German carried Meri back up the hill and Pax was leash-led back up, mostly against his will because of the rocks.

Immediately, we brought the dogs to the greyhound processing area and while I gave Pax and Meri baths, Teh German scrubbed himself in poison ivy wash to deter any reactions since we were leaving on our honeymoon in 24 hours.  Thanks, asshole dogs.  Teh German and I took a ride around the GHC farm before we left.  On the way home, we stopped at CVS and stocked up on poison ivy itch gel and more body wash, which I used when we got home.  Someone had called urgent care to see if they would give Teh German the poison ivy shot, but since there was no visible reaction, they could not administer it, so we just hoped for the best and planned for the worst.

After we got home, we were wiped from all the activity, so it was dinner, laziness, and laundry until bedtime.


Monday, May 21

We woke up early on Monday to start our #HoneymoonAdventures.  We had to drive up to Baltimore and drop off Yurtle at Chief Smartass's house and then he would deliver us to DCA to depart.  This all well fine.  We arrived at the airport at 2:30 (our flight departed at 5:40), 3 hours early (as per international travel suggestions) and then we hit a wall.  When we checked in, we were informed that we needed Australian visas to go to Australia, something I did NOT know (side note: When I went to Australia in 2012, I went with the Navy so all of this was taken care of for me and I didn't have to worry with it, thus my ignorance).

I was almost certain that if we didn't make our flight, the following day, Teh German was going to serve me with divorce papers.  It was baaaadddddd.  We were both frustrated.  I managed to get my visa quickly and then we had to figure out how to expedite a visa for Teh German since he has a German passport and didn't qualify for eValidation.  I finally ended up paying £20 and was able to get a visa for Teh German.  This was after he'd paid the Australian govt $117 AUD for a visa that would take 5-7 days to get approved.  I suggested he cancel the request and he did (which didn't matter because they still charged him $104 USD for a visa that is valid from 01 June 2018 - 31 May 2019.  I have said, "I told you so" many times in my head because I am petty, but I will not say it to Teh German's face, so I'm breaking my rule about only putting things on the blog that I have discussed with Teh German, on the principle of being an adult and marital bliss and whatever.

Nonetheless, with emails in hand, we go back up to the counter to check-in.  The agent was able to quickly verify Teh German's visa.. but then had issues with mine.  /facepalm.  He had to go to the back and manually verify it since the emails I had didn't show my passport name.  I was good to go, but we were starting to cut it SUPER close and neither of us were comfortable with that.  It had taken 2 hours to obtain the visas, so it was ~5 when we started checking in.  By 5:15 we were in line at security, impatiently waiting on every person who has never flown ever to take their electronics and liquids out of their bags and fight with the TSA agents about if they had to drink the entire bottle of water to get through security.

We made it through security and I RAN to our gate.  I wasn't risking it.  Teh German had a rolling carry on, so running wasn't really for him, but if at least one of us made it to the gate, we could distract them from closing the door.  Teh German rolled up a minute later (he's got long legs and his fast walk is essentially my running) and 3 minutes later, they closed the door behind us while we waited on our co-passengers to board.  Once we finally boarded, our marriage was no longer in danger, andddd then we were stuck on the tarmac for an hour because rerouted flights due to shitty weather in Chicago meant we couldn't take off.  #JustMyLuck

Nonetheless, we made it 20 minutes later than our scheduled time to LAX, which still gave us time to grab dinner and then head to the gate with 5 minutes to spare (because we'd just been sitting around rather than standing around the gate waiting with everyone else to board).


Tuesday, May 22

This day was lost due to the International Date Line.  #InternationalTravelProblems

Some of the things we endured: children kicking the back of our chairs, shitty airplane sleeps, meh airplane food, me having hot and cold flashes, the inability to get comfortable, my water bottle peeing all over me because of pressurization, me listening to audiobook and doing puzzles on my kindle, me listening to audiobook and playing rip off Bejeweled on my Kindle, only having the person in the aisle seat get up 2x during the 16 hour flight to let us pee (we both went around the same time so the person wouldn't be inconvenienced over and over). Obviously, riveting things went down.


Wednesday, May 23

We arrived in Sydney at 0700, had to go through security and get the sniff down from a biohazard dog since we were traveling with my dive gear, which was exposed to foreign soil/water.  The sniffing dog was a year old and in training and he was super adorable.  He stayed for a little longer at our bag, but didn't signal and the handler asked if we had dogs.  We, of course, said yes, and she said that was why he was lingering.  He was super cute though, and then we were on our way.  We had a short layover in Sydney before flying to Cairns.

We arrived in Cairns at 1 and grabbed an Uber to our hotel.  While checking in, we were informed there was a swim up bar, which meant that we were going drinkin!  We quickly dropped off our luggage, I shaved my pits, and then we headed to the pool.  Sadly, the water was waaaayyyy too cold (it is winter in Australia) for me to utilize the swim up bar, but we did use the walk up bar.

There were large floats in the water, but none came close enough for me to grab it without going deeper than mid-thigh so it wasn't happening.  Finally, one did come up far enough and I jumped on it and floated off, leaving Teh German on the pool's edge.  While floating, I met Derrol who was on holiday from Melbourne.  Then we met 2 flight attendants who dragged my float along with theirs as we chatted.  Eventually, Teh German even joined me on my float and we all hung out for a bit until it got too cold and we were hungry.

We finally returned to the room, put on normal clothes, and headed out to a delicious Greek place for dinner.  After dinner, we were exxxxxxxhausted, as one tends to be after a transpacific flight.  We crashed hard around 8.

Honeymoon Adventures

Part 1: SC to MD, MD to Cairns
Part 2: Scuba Diving the Great Barrier Reef
Part 3: Sydney Touristing
Part 4: California (San Francisco and Sacramento)
Part 5: MD to SC


  1. OMG I would have lost my damn mind over the visa issue. I'm glad that it all worked out & ya made it everywhere on time!

    1. Every stress symptom of shock happened. If it wasn't such a process to get divorced and he wasn't looking so forward to diving the GBR, I think Teh German would have left me at the airport, never to return.


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