Adventures w/ Teh Bear. Part 4.

Team Sweaty Awesome

OMG.  The best time you'll ever have in Bahrain is racing go karts.  No jk.  BEST TIME EVAR.

I wanted to make sure that go karts had its own post, because it was the one thing Teh Bear definitely wanted to do while he was in Bahrain.

There were several issues with go karts, to start with... to do the Mini GP Race, you have to have 10 people.. and if all 10 people don't show up, you still pay for 10 people.  It was 1.5 hours of awesomeness, don't get me wrong, but paying an extra 25BD didn't feel good.  And knowing that someone that had already paid, but got sick that evening and were out 25BD also sucked.

If you plan to do go karts, even for a short session, prepare to be drenched in sweat.  You can't see it in the "after" photos we took, but we all looked like we'd been swimming in our clothes.  Small price to pay for 1.5 hours of awesomeness.

Once you arrive (which is only a quick google maps search away for directions), you register, which was made super easy with a FB app (technology at its interconnected finest).  You get a membership card for 1bd, which none of us asked for, but I think you have to have no matter what, which is good for a year.  It makes it easier to go back and do the arrive and drive session, which is looking like something Teh Bear and I might do before he leaves, because we had such a super awesome time.

After we registered, we went downstairs to the changing rooms and put our sweat flame retardant suits on (over our clothes).

Transforming into badass go kart racers.  Step 1 - don fire protective gear.

Then we went into the heavenly A/C-ed briefing room for a video on the rules of the track.  Beoler (I think was our briefer's name) was super awesome.  He was down for taking photos for us while we raced around, which made this post possible it even more AWESOME!

They were all entranced by the informative video.

Teh Lumberjack approves.  And although his kart was #1,
he (sadly) never was.

We did our qualifying laps, which Chief of course won, along with all the races, which I'm basing on the fact that he's been to the track several times now, so he's got practice.  I came in 6th, pretty good considering how many times I spun out.

First documented spin out!

We had qualified, now it was time to race!

After qualifying laps, we paused to line up, and then we started our first race.  Where I came in 3rd.  WOOT, on the board!  I felt like I was channeling my inner child once I finally started getting the hang of how to slide around the curves, when to brake, when to floor the gas.

Side story:

This go kart is definitely more high tech than the
one I grew up with.

Teh Dad procured a go kart for Teh Kid Megan way back in the day.  If you recall the Duke of Hazard stories, the dirt road from the diamond intersection to TC/TT's house, was my driveway as a kid.  So it was pretty good go kart training.  The go kart that Teh Dad purchased was used, which was ok with me.  But Teh Dad was serious about making it as safe as possible.  Our go kart had a roll cage.  I think I've mentioned that Teh Dad is a pretty good handy man.  He also made a "net" out of colored cables/wires (not really sure what they were as I'm not a super handy woman).  He strung the cables on the passenger side of the go kart (via the roll cage) in a checkered pattern, so that way the passengers couldn't fall out when the driver swung the go kart around as fast as possible at the diamond intersection.  It was very effective.

The go kart had an engine with a chain though.  Maybe it was an old school engine, but I'm not a mechanic, so I'm not sure the crafting that went into the contraption.  The issue with the chain was that it would randomly come off.  Which meant if we were at the diamond intersection when the chain came off, we had to walk all the way to the house to get someone to put the chain back on.  Although there was the one time that we just pushed the go kart down the driveway until we got to the hill, then we jumped in and rode it as far as we could, and pushed it the rest of the way home.

Teh Bear was jealous cause I came in 3rd and he was 4th.

Yeah, definitely have stories with the go kart.

But back to REAL 60kph go karts with flame retardant suits, gloves, and helmets...

After the first race was over, we got a 15 minute break.  While we were walking off the track, Beoler asked us where we worked, and he was surprised when we said the Navy base, and explained that usually people that work at the Navy base come and break all the rules.  Score with the staff!

Checkered flag means get all your tricks out now!

I'm a winner, no matter what.

We all semi stripped our sweat suits and sucked down some water.  Teh Lumberjack also aired himself.. I mean smoked.  I didn't go inside because I knew if I went back into a place with air conditioning I prob wouldn't have came out for the 2nd race.  Apparently, going inside to buy water inside was like "heaven".  We sat still around, conversating and joking around for a few minutes.

Then it was time for our 2nd and final race.  We returned to our karts, Beoler took more pics of us, we raced.  It was sooooo awesome!  I came in 4th that time, because I spun out at the hairpin turn, fail.  I only came in 4th because Teh Lumberjack spun out and I got to pass him before it was over.

This guy really liked waving his flag.

Starting out last race.

Sliding around and spinning out was a super fun time.  I wanted to spin out one final time, but they put out the yellow flags, which meant slow down, so I didn't get to.  :(

We can haz one more lap? plskthx?

Go kart racing time was over, and taking off the sweat suit was like removing a wet suit.  The idea that someone else sweated in the same helmet and suit that I wore was kinda gross, but the awesomeness won out.

SOOOOOOOO sweaty.

The staff was leaving, since it was midnight, and we started to head out.

The grand finale was definitely when my car wouldn't start.  Fail, Kaar, fail.  I got a jump from Chief and we headed back home.

Teh Bear says the battery is dead.  That's a battle for another day.




 

Adventures w/ Teh Bear. Part 3.

Most proven true fact of Teh Bear's vacation: I am directionally challenged.  Not only do I struggle with my left vs my right (no jk, and yes I'm 25 years old), but I also question myself, so when I am actually going the right way, I tell myself I'm not and then spend at least 20 minute trying to figure out the other way and then another 10 trying to get back to where I was to begin with.

Since our last adventure story, which ended with crepes after Wahoo, we've been super boring.

We went to the "Green Door" (a Thai restaurant near the Gold Souq that I have no idea the real name of) with Will the Marine and the Lady In-and-Out of Bahrain.  Followed by a trip to Carriefour, a grocery store at one of the malls here.  Its actually a French grocery store, but  it has food, so I'm not picky.  Yay for groceries and not having to eat out every meal.  Although, I'm certain that Teh Bear is not as big of a fan of enchiladas as I am.  We got crepes again after the grocery store visit, and the lady remembered my order, woot.

We finished watching The Pacific.  We I got super drunk.  Our scheduled massage didn't take place because I made the appointment for 730p and around 1p (= my 1am) they called and said they needed us to come in early, so I said, ok we can be there at 7.  They said, no 4p.  I said, that doesn't work for us.  Apparently, they were starting renovations at 5pm.  Who the hell starts renovations in the middle of the business day????  I was super pissed because they have the best prices in the country (47bd for a couples massage vs 70bd+?  sure thing), that I've found.

The most interesting thing we did was go to the Bahrain Fort at night.

I stole this because I still haven't uploaded photos to my computer yet.  (Teh Bear's photo)

This was when I showed my directionally challenged-ness.  I went the right way the first time, but doubted myself, so I ended up passing the turn and then we did a nice circle through Manama, and ended up back where we started, with me saying "stay to the left" and promptly turning right, which thoroughly confused Teh Bear till I explained to him that I knew what I meant!

We finally made it to the Fort, took photos and sweated our asses off for about 45 minutes before they closed.  Then, we headed to Coco's for dinner, where the service was quick AND amazing (for the first time evar), then to Cafe Lilou's for dessert, despite finding crepes on the menu at Coco's.  Cafe Lilou's desserts > Coco's desserts by default because Cafe Lilou's come in a cold case.  No photos took place for this, which is sad because dinner and dessert were both amazing.  I tried a new dessert at Lilou's, all I remember is that it was a rectangle shape and delicious.  Teh Bear had the Dome a Chocolate, probably spelled with some apostrophes and in French.

Progressing through the week :(, we watched the last (please note, I almost put final, but that so media cliche) Harry Potter movie with some of my homies from work, picked up a crepe (of course), then we fought through 45 minutes of traffic to pick up Teh Bunny Killer (named for his love of the Killer Bunnies game (yes this is a real game)) and deliver him to the airport so he can get off the island and start his own leave.

For the 2nd night in a row Pizzabella thwarted Teh Bear's desire for pizza, which meant he had to consume enchiladas again, yum!

But Teh Bear brought The Muppet's Show with him and I've never seen it before, but the parts that I've seen while writing this blog have definitely amused me.  Although, the super amount of sparkly clothes on the human guests definitely scream SEVENTIES!  The jokes are still pretty funny.

What's an amoeba?
I don't know, I'm not from here either!
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And the bestest act ever:

hehehehehehehe, you're welcome.

       
     

1. The Story of My Most Serious Injury

I was a tom boy growing up.  I did the same things the boys did, except for standing up to pee.  I got the same brier scratches on my legs and arms, mosquito bites from endless hours outside during the summer, I got to build forts and make paths through the brush with tree clippers, I got to play in the creek, I got to listen to the boys cuss while the girls weren't allowed, I got to sweat my ass off while the boys got to take off their shirts (I got caught the one time I took my shirt off because I was hot and got yelled at for it).  I semi-endured them making fun of me because I was a girl and because I was left handed, until I decided that I'd had enough and was going home, so they couldn't ball anymore because you needed more than 2 people to play (and they probably don't remember that, but I do).

For the most part, I had little fear.  Some would have even called me fearless when it came to doing certain things.  Except if Teh Mom told me there was a fire and I needed to put on pants... then I just freak out and stand there, and when I do decide to put on clothes, I put on Teh Mom's pants.  True story.

Teh Megan, Doug, and Teh Sister

When I was in the 6th grade, we got an exchange student, through church.  His name was Doug.  He was from Brazil.  He was pretty cool, but he called Teh Mom a punta (bitch) once in Portuguese and some how she ended up finding out what it meant AND talking to his mom the same day.  He wore a ridiculous amount of Calvin Klein Eternity, especially when he woke up late and didn't have time to shower because I was already in it, stealing all the hot water.  He didn't like to put his clothes in the hamper, which meant that he often wore dirty clothes.  He was used to having a maid at home, and well, we didn't have one of those.  He loved cheesy rice, and we could go through a block of Velveeta cheese in about a week.  He also love lee-mon juice, or lime juice.  He didn't really have a preference.  He introduced me to Roxette and what a discman was (its a portable cd player for those of you who have only ever had an ipod).  Doug also knew either Jiu-Jitsu or Capoeira, not sure which it was.

One day, Doug was tasked with raking the leaves in the yard.  It wasn't something he really wanted to do, so he bitched and complained and eventually went outside to do it.  Eventually, it was almost dinner time, so Teh Mom sent me outside to tell Doug it was time to come in.  He had done most of the raking and was in the lower part of the yard, where he didn't have to rake, making a pile.  I yelled for him, and he didn't hear me, so I walked down to where he was.  He didn't hear me come up to him because he was listening to his discman, so I ran up and pretend I was going to jump in his pile.

Doug:  Meg-ann, NOOOOO!
Me: I was just kidding, its time for supper.
Doug:  Ok.

I was standing there, waiting on him, so we could walk back to the house together and he started doing martial arts moves with the rake.  He had just been going side to side, and I was feeling particularly fearless that day, so I stepped up to him... as he brought the rake down in front of him...  hitting me on the head/upper forehead.  I said, OWW! and put my hand up to my forehead and started walking back to the house.

Then Doug started chasing me.  "Meg-ann, stop!  Stop!"
Me: Stop chasing me, Doug, I'm going inside.
Doug: I'm sorry, Meg-ann, stop.  Come back.
Me: DOUG, STOP CHASING ME!

By this point I had almost reached the house, but since he was bigger than me, he'd caught up with me.  He grabbed my arm, and pulled my hand away from my head...  There was blood.  I screamed.  Teh Mom and Dad came running outside, because it was that scream.

Doug started trying to explain what happened, at the same time, I'm trying to explain that it doesn't hurt that I just want to go inside and I wanted Doug to stop chasing me.
Doug: I was only chasing her because she was bleeding, it was an accident, I didn't mean to hit her, I didn't know she was going to step up.
Me: I'm hungry.

Then Teh parents got to have the great debate over if I had to go to the ER or not.  Teh Dad said no, I'd be fine.  Teh Mom said, yes, she is going, otherwise she'll have a huge scar on her head.  Teh Mom won out.  I was still starving and Teh Dad brought me to the ER.  I ended up with a tetnus shot, 2 stitches in my head, some bootie things to go over my shoes, and a huge blue bowl that we later used to soak laundry in..  AND I got to ride back to the car in a wheelchair.

Doug felt pretty bad.  I told him not to worry about it, it was my fault for stepping up while he was swinging around a rake, which he probably shouldn't have been doing.

Sometimes, the scar (but not as big as it could have been, says Teh Mom) itches.  I've still never seen the damn thing, and Teh Mom always has to show me where its at.  I can sometimes feel out where it is, but I can't point it out in a photo.

The estimated location of scar, which I'm determining from the lack of hair in that area, don't judge the face I'm making.

The only other more serious injury than this was when I fractured the growth plate in my left wrist, but its definitely not as fun to tell...  Which was yet another time that Teh Mom won me going to the doc over Teh Dad's not going to the doc...



 

11. My Ideal Job

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So you know how when you were a kid and adults would try to talk to you, but they really had no idea what to talk to you about, so they went with the standard, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  It was probably a writing prompt in school at least a gazillion times.  And, now that I'm older and have opinions that I like to throw around because I'm so opinionated (pretty sure that started well before someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up), I'm offended a little by this question.

As an adult, I understand why Kid Teh Megan was very confused with this question.  I knew the appropriate answer had something to do with what job I wanted, when I could start working.  But a literal, what do I want to  BE when I grew up?  Would I not be me?  I mean, that was pretty difficult.  I am left handed (like the rest of my family, no jk, Teh Sister, Teh Dad, and Teh Mom are all left handed also, we're that cool freak family), I am a girl, I am bossy, I am opinionated, I am a klutz, I feel like children should be treated equally no matter their gender, I am well "endowed"..  These things were roots of tension in my life, I was teased over all these things.  Side note: how do you go around spreading rumors that someone stuffs their bra when you watch them change for gym class 3x a week?

So, when I got older, I started answering the "what do you want to be?" question with, "me."  That always throws people for a loop.  Like, huh, thats not the right answer to the question.  And I've had people fight with me before becuase the answer wasn't right.  At which point I explained to them if they had asked me what I would like to DO when I get older or what JOB I wanted when I grew up, then they might have gotten the answer they wanted.  Sometimes, it really is about semantics.  Choose your words wisely.  USE your words wisely.

(image)

But to the point of the prompt...

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For a while I wanted to be a doctor, of course, what kid doesn't like the prospect of helping people?  I also liked the aspect of being a teacher, then I realized that I was only ONE pain in the ass of generally 30 pain in the asses.  Teacher dreams = ceased.  For a while I wanted to be a shrink, I mean thats helping people still.  Then I realized that being a shrink meant listening to people whine.  I'm sure that some people would have legitimate issues, but most people just like to whine and bitch and then not do anything to remedy the situations they are whining and bitching about.  Shrink dreams = ceased.

Then I got into making collages for my 3 ring binders for school.  I would go through magazines and cut out items being advertised, cool looking pics, clips of text that were poignant or funny.  I decided then that I wanted to be the person that did magazine ad creation/layout.  I like to think I'm creative and the OCD parts of me really like organizing things and making things fit/look right.  I'm pretty sure I even put "magazine ads" as what I wanted my job to be after I finished college on my NCSU application.  NC State put me in the Communication - Media program, which was actually more for broadcast media than written.  :(

I did an interview (for a class assignment) with the print editor of the NCSU alumni magazine who did the job I had dreamed of, laid out all the pages of the magazine.  Apparently, you have to be in print media for about 20 million years to do her job.  I'm also fairly certain that the job would quickly drive me crazy.  She made it seem like everything was always late and every project was hair on fire.  Yeah, I have enough stress in my life just being me, thank you very much, have a nice day.  It will be the job I will always dream about being perfect, live vicariously through when watching Mad Men, but probably never ever have.

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After college, I applied for job after job, nothing coming to fruition.  I started my Cisco cert to apply for a project manager job at Cisco, but that also fell apart.  I moved back home and needed a job, so I started working at Texas Roadhouse ((TRH) best steaks evar.. and the yeast rolls are so delicious...  O.M.GEEE) as a waitress, because they don't let people start out as bartenders...

And then, for some reason joining the military seemed like a good idea..  They are always employing, right?  Well, then they start firing not retaining people, and not passing budgets.  Yet, I'm sure they are still employing.  So strange.  And most days, I really like my job.  Looking at pretty pictures makes me happy, but sometimes I really miss using my brain.  Most days, I don't mind the Navy.. but there are definitely days that I hate the Navy. Just like there were days that I hated any other job I've had before.

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My ideal job would be one that I could have any day I wanted off.  I'd travel and it'd be paid for, and I'd fly at least business class.  I'd make over 6 figures so then money wouldn't feel like an issue (or it better not).  I'd be looking at pretty pictures and laying them out on magazine pages.  I'd go into work when I felt like it and left when I felt like it.

Scratch that.  My ideal job would be to have no job and everything would be free, no bills, so that way there wouldn't be worries about money and everything would just be peachy.  :)

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   PS.  This wasn't about Teh Bear being in Bahrain.  You're welcome, Gentle Reader.  :)



   

Adventures w/ Teh Bear. Part 2.

So I feel like a bad vacationer.  Just in general really.  There is a significant lack of photo greatness going on.  I guess a large part playing into that is that Teh Bear and I have been doing not photography things.  Yet, for some reason, I still feel bad, not having brought my camera to what events we have been to.

We went to dinner at Al Abraaj, which is a eatery that provides Indian and local types of cuisine, and has the absolute BEST HUMMUS EVAR.  Teh Bear had his first sharwama (there's about 20 different spellings for this) which was ordered by Teh Lumberjack.  Shoulda Been a Cowgirl, Teh Mexican, Teh Lumberjack, and Teh HP Wizard (for her love all HP, which means Harry Potter, not Hewlett-Packard) joined us for dinner.  It was quiet, which was a nice way to start out Teh Bear's time in Bahrain, sans the soy sauce spillage incident.  I really wanted a group shot, but I'm that person that doesn't like asking a stranger to take a photo, so we didn't end up with one.  Well, I took a picture in my head, and everyone was smiling!

We picked up Teh Bear's suit after dinner and then it was nap time, because in all the excitement, sleep, apparently, was no longer necessary.  I got up about 2 hours before Teh Bear and did everything productive, like taking his dress shirts out of the dryer and hanging them in the closet in the dark, all without waking him.  Went to base, came back.  Flushed the toilet a couple of times, still didn't wake him up.  Finally, I decided it was time for him to get up, and of course, after all the effort I had put into being quiet the entire time he was asleep, the first thing I did when I went into the bedroom (since it was dark and all) was run into the corner of the bed.  Which I hit hard enough to jar him awake.  Oops, my bad, but no worries, I got a pretty bruise forming to prove the effort.  He roared fussed at me for letting him hibernate sleep so long.

We finally started watching The Pacific.  YAY HDMI ports on computers!  Teh Bear was super pleased with himself for being successful at setting up the HDMI stuff, because this means I can now watch my final season of the Tudors, which wasn't playable on my DVD player for some reason (I blame Bahrain).  He's great like that.

Then it was nap time again.  Then it was time for our dressed up date!

We went to brunch at the Golden Tulip, cause I heard you can pick out your own steak there.  Which was kinda true.  I said I wanted filet, and they cut a slab of meat off a larger slab of meat and plopped it down on a plate and asked me how I wanted it cooked and what table I was at.  Easy enough.  It seemed like they had a better spread than Movenpik.  Lots of lobster entrees, which of course is a quick and dirty way to win my heart.  Then I tested out their crepe bar....  Which was so disappointing it practically ruined all the affection the lobster had built up.  Since I was driving I didn't try the mojitos..

Side note:
0.0 is the acceptable blood alcohol content for Bahrain.  Yet, it only makes me feel marginally safer on the road since the people on the road here are fucking morons anyways.  It took about 10 minutes after his arrival for Teh Bear to witness his first Saudi left turn.  On the way to brunch we got to experience a person 2 lanes over from the left turn lane decide that they wanted to turn left, so they pulled in front of all the other cars and then waited for the light to turn green so they could continue their left hand turn, which kinda surprised me they waited.  W.T.F.

After brunch was a food induced coma nap.  We woke up for the evening and proceeded to make dinner, watch The Pacific and be generally boring, vacationers.  He marveled at how busy the Bahrain traffic was at 0330, which I explained to him was due to it being the weekend.

Then we took another nap.  And then we finally rolled out of the bed and picked up Teh Mexican and Mr. Curly Sweatervest to go to Wahoo, an indoor waterpark at one of the malls.  First was the lazy river.. which was boring.  Then was the slide of death (my name for it), it had a drop at the beginning that I'm pretty sure in places with regulations would require that all riders be strapped in securely.  I'm not a super huge fan of drops and neither is Teh Bear.  Yet, we were both troopers and did the slide 2x.  It was fun after the super huge drop of imminent death, but getting through that part was semi-difficult.  It was also fun riding it on a double float, so Teh Bear and I got to endure the huge drop of imminent death together, with me screaming and hanging on to his toes, and I'm sure he was just hangin on, like a man.  Then we headed to the halfpipe, which Mr. Curly Sweatervest claimed was super awesome.  We all headed up the stairs (omg so many freakin stairs) and arrived at the top.  At which point Teh Bear and I promply chickened out.  HELL NO.  The drop was too much for us.  Teh Mexican and Mr. Curly Sweatervest did it at least 2x.  We then headed outside to see the fun time that was to be had.

There was a slide ride that had 4 tubes going down, which you can see when you drive up to the mall, so I was pretty excited about this one.  We rode it once and burned our feet getting back across the patio to go back up all the stairs to go again.  We made it to the top and we had decided we were all going to go down different slides this time.  I approached my slide and slipped, and busted my shin on the edge of the slide.  Which was incredibly painful for there to be no broken skin, just a huge, malformed dent in my leg.  I wasn't sure what was going on with the leg, so I laid on my mat and Teh Bear elevated my leg by laying it on his knee.  The "lifeguard" was trying to call for a bag of ice on his walkie talkie, but was being extremely unsuccessful, so he had to make the very trying decision to step over me, or walk around me, which meant having to step in the water slides.  He very awkwardly stepped over me to fetch another "lifeguard".  It took about 5 minutes, but finally ice was fetched.

It was amazing to me that kids had to be told, no use the 3 other slides that were available, because they seemed to want to keep using the slide that I was blocking, which was very strange.  One kid was so determined to use the slide that I was laying in front of that he did the slide hop... pretty sure Teh Bear almost got crotch grazed, but I didn't tell him that.  Teh Mexican and Mr. Curly Sweatervest stood with us, we were all laughing and making jokes, which was prob one of the funnier parts of the trip.  After a few minutes of icing the forming knot, I decided it was time to just get to the bottom, and it was much easier to just go down the slide holding my ice bag.  On the way down I hit my elbow.  No jk.  Siiiigh, its hard to be me.

We then went to enjoy the wave pool, which we had to wait at least 10 minutes for the waves to start.  The guys got to talk about how creepy it was that Arabs seem to have no personal space, and dudes touching each other is no big thing.  Which was definitely amplified when some arab kid was practically hanging on Teh Mexican when the waves finally started.  I was amused.  Then confused, when everyone started chanting like there was a soccer game going on..  Then we realized every time the waves came, the locals would yell "Wahoo!".  Strange.

Then we enjoyed more water, got to experience the big bucket of water dumping on us, we dumped some water on some little kids, Mr. Curly Sweatervest and Teh Mexican shot one of the workers with one of the water guns, which she wasn't very appreciative of.  Took another lap on the lazy river, decided we were getting tired and tested out the not so hot tub, which had so much chlorine my eyes immediately begged for mercy.  Mr. Curly Sweatervest and Teh Mexican took 2 more turns on the halfpipe, while Teh Bear and I watched (which was better)..  and we decided to call it a day.

On the way out of the park, I saw a super awesome swim cap that I will find.  It was a smiling shark and there was a little fin on the top of the swim cap.  Totally awesome, but they were out, so I couldn't buy it, fail.

Thennnnnnnnn.....  was crepes.  The thing I've been looking forward to since I went and watched Hangover 2 with Teh Lumberjack in early June, and especially after the crepe fail at brunch.  YUM Nutella and banana crepe with ice cream....  That makes me want to go to the mall right now and get one, too bad its 5am.  Teh Bear and I shared my delicious crepe, while watching Teh Mexican shove down 3 very large crepe rolled hot dogs (don't think he actually ate all 3) and Mr. Curly Sweatervest got his own delicious crepe.  All was well with the bellies and it was time to head home.

After dropping off the company.. it was definitely time for a nap.  :)


PS.  This is part 2, because technically, my last post should have been part 1.  :)  I'm not crazy.  I'm methodical.

PPS.  Nap is not synonymous for sex.  It really means sleep.  I love sleep.  Srsly.  Stop being a perv, Gentle Reader, I expect more from you... and by that I don't mean sexual favors, gebus, stop being a perv!


 

Q: Will I blog about anything in the next two week not related to Teh Bear's visit?

A: Probably not.  Because:  I'M SO UNFREAKIN' BELIEVABLY EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND MYSELF.  Still, because now Teh Bear is actually here.  He's hibernating right now, which was good, because I got to also take a nap, since the 9 hours of sleep that I'd had in the past two days was starting to debilitate my ability to speak normally.

Example:
Talking about watermelon juice.
Me:  You just take pineapple and ice and blend it together.

When I picked up Teh Bear at the airport (5-10 minutes before he walked out, whewww!), our first destination was a 1-hour dry cleaner to get his suit cleaned for our fancy smancy date tomorrow for brunch.  I most definitely drove straight home.  Got all the way to my parking spot and realized, shit, we were in the wrong place...  Luckily, we were still moving when I realized this and we just went straight to the dry cleaners.

Note: Dolphin Laundry off American Alley did an AMAZING job with his suit and it was only 3BD.  It was dry cleaned and pressed and they literally were carrying it out to put on the rack when we walked through the door about 4-5 hours later, when I'd told them we'd pick it up.  Much better than the place that did my uniform for the JSOQ boards and failed to iron an entire sleeve.  Le sigh.

Other example would include me mixing up the order of words while I'm speaking, making me sound dyslexic.  And no jk..  I typed in "dislexic" (<3 spell check), and I honestly thought, wait isn't that an eating disorder?  No, thats anorexia.  But whats the other one?  Lexic has to do with dictionaries and words.  You've got the right word, retard.

But, now I'm off to base to finish the project that I did last night...  except for the most important part which was email it to my LPO.  Teh Megan fail.  Luckily, it will only take a few minutes, but I'm sure Teh Bear will be finished hibernating by the time I get back... then again, if I'm lucky.. maybe not.  ;)

Sorry no photos, I did take some photos of everyone at dinner tonight, but nothing crazy, and my camera is currently so far away from where I'm sitting..

Ok, fine I was feeling bad so I did a search for funny pics.  Don't judge my originality.  You wish you were me.

Mostly it was icanhazcheeseburger type stuff, cute, but not so much always funny.  This is what I'm sharing with you, Gentle Reader.

Fitting right?  (image)

This one is for Teh Bear (image)

While amusing, ever so creepy.  This is why no one likes going to the dentist.  (image)

 
Don't ever tell anyone I never did nothin' for you.


   :)


 

Shameless plug for how excited I am!

So, I'm finally to the point in my tour in Bahrain that I'm allowing myself to take leave.  AND I'M SO UNFREAKIN' BELIEVABLY EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND MYSELF (emphasis necessary), to include the inability to sleep and the desire to write an entire blog post about how freakin' excited I actually am.  Ahhh, yay blog.

PIN. PIN. PIN. PIN...... (image)

Apparently, I forgot to post a blog yesterday.  Oops, my bad, I was studying my brain full of EIDWS...  Instructions, report types, terrorist organizations, electromagnetic spectrum, message types, form numbers.. sadly nothing on my test about ADM Grace Hopper, the flagships, wave characteristics, LCDR Fox shooting down the first enemy jet in the Gulf War, WW2 battles, intelligence significance, supply related crap...  all the other stuff that was on the 6 packs of flashcards that I made (that LOTS of people are now requesting to partake ownership of).  Of a 12 hour shift, I spent over 8.5 hours studying, an hourish doing laps, 30 minutes for a shower, the rest was spent bsing, eating, struggling to stay awake (once that glazed over feeling from studying started to hit), and staring into space.

And then at 09 this morning (after being awake since 5pm the night before), I took my test.  Pretty sure we got the dreaded "imagery" test, which I mostly flew through until I got to the nerdy tech stuff, because this stuff surpasses any tech nerd quals that I already had.  I mean, I did start my Cisco cert after college, but I think I got through section 3/4 before I no longer had the motivation or need to finish it.  3-300KHz=VLF, EHF, ELF VEHLF (very extremely high low frequency for those of you who haven't seen that one)??, idk, my head hurts.  Either way, hell yeah 88.75%!  Most of the ones that I got wrong were ones that I wasn't sure about, so I didn't feel as bad.

I do think he had at least removed
the seeds (image)

Side note.  This morning, I was sitting in my vacation seat on the watchfloor (cause I don't normally sit on the watchfloor), and I started smelling something funky.  Not a bad smell, just not a 5am smell.  And I hear a crunch, someone is eating, at what most would consider breakfast, due to time over target of day... I start looking around to recce what this occurrence was.  I look over and there is an officer with something green in his hand, and at first I thought it was a clump of celery, because something had a green, funky smell.  But it was too dark for celery, then my next thought was the leafy base of cauliflower because it was round-ish, but who eats that?  Then, I watched him take a bite out of this object like it was an apple and it hit me, A GREEN PEPPER?  Who the fuck eats a raw green pepper for breakfast?  Wait, who the fuck eats a raw green pepper, period.  That guy, apparently.  WTF.  (side, side note.  Since its Wednesday, this reminds me of WTF Weds.)

But back to being SO UNFREAKIN' BELIEVABLY EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND MYSELF..  For the first time ever, I told Teh Bear I'll see you soon when we got off Skype this morning at my 5am (that whole not sleeping part really was true) and I actually get to see him in less than 24 hours.

I'm one of those people that like to wait until they absolutely can't stand their command and/or anyone's faces related to that command and finally take leave..  Well, not everyone, but the point is..  I'm tired of NAVCENT, and that's putting it nicely.  I need a break, and I've needed one for a while.  I've been here 9 months and NAVCENT is a special realm of hell where everyone's hair is on fire, everything was needed 2 days ago, how did you not know that?!, and "are you SURE?" is asked about every call ever made on things that aren't even questionable.  I'm not actually sure how people stand being here for 2+ years (maybe their job is more satisfying than mine and they don't have to deal with idiots questioning everything you say?).

But, Teh Bear is headed to MCO right now.  He's jumpin properly boarding on his 7something7 plane (that he said has power outlets, woah so high tech) and hoppin the pond to visit the middle east in the middle of the summer for me... well, and for him too since its also his vacation, but I'm a pretty awesome reason too.  (that sentence made more sense in my head, only 4 hours of headache-d sleep, don't judge me.)

Remember me?

I've got some super awesome things scheduled.  Specifically, we're doing a Mini GP race in Go Karts at the Formula 1 track.  Hello, Opportunity of a Lifetime, I'm Teh Megan, lets make this happen.  We're also going to one of the water parks here..  In addition to the normal touristy stuff (the Mosque, the souq, Tree of Life, potentially a fort if I can motivate myself), we're getting massages (much needed), hanging out with my peeps (and one of his peeps, yay GTMO friends in Bahrain (aka island hoppers)!), we are dressing up to go to on a brunch date at the Golden Tulip (I heard you can pick out your own steak there..  Reservation=made, now to see if they have a crepe stand), watching The Pacific (which we've been waiting to be together to see), and we are being generally unmotivated and lazy, because that's how I like my vacations..

So now, the United flight status page has been added to my bookmarks so I can internet stalk Teh Bear while he's in transit.  <3 technology.  Is it go to the airport time yet?!?!???!?!?!?!?  No?  Ok, fine, I'll go to base and write my eval and brag sheet like a good little sailor girl to pass the time.. and maybe go to the gym because I have nothing better to do..  and it better pass by quickly....

Summary (because this blog was slighty random and I care for you, Gentle Reader):
Oops, my bad no blog yesterday.
Yay 88.75% on my EIDWS test.
Who the fuck eats a green pepper for breakfast?
SUPER YAY Teh Bear is coming!
Schedule of good times.
plans to pass the time.


you're welcome.


 

12. My High School Clique

(not my yearbook)

I'm sure that people thought I was "in" with some group in school.. but its really hard for me to pinpoint which one... because I didn't really fit into one group.

Lets review Teh Megan's high school social situation.
1.  Band Nerd, 1st/only chair Euphonium, eventually librarian, then I quit halfway through 11th grade cause my band director was an asshole and refused to call me by ANY of my names.
2.  Athletic, abet a very bad athlete.  I was that girl who tried out, made the team because I tried out, but wasn't really that good at anything, so mostly got to do the bench warming job, or the backstroke, cause I had a KILLER backstroke.
3.  Smart.  All APP/honors classes, wishing I could take something fun where I could not use my brain like home ec for making cookies, or horticulture so I could go play in the dirt, but never ROTC because that military crap wasn't for me..
4.  People knew me.  I am one of FOUR (now five) people with my last name in my county.  It wasn't a secret whose daughter I was.  Teh Mom was active in my school community all the way through.  Teh Dad shot some puppies at the landfill, which made us infinitely more popular.  Thanks, Dad.  (I NEVER miss the opportunity to give him grief over this, EVAR)
5.  Employed.
6.  Owned a car.
7.  Awesome (ok, I added that because I needed to make myself feel better).

Too bad I'm not a good drawer, maybe I could have been the artist?  (image)

So, often Teh Megan's high school clique was confused.  Do you call her a nerd because she's in all those smart classes?  Do you call her one of the "jocks", even though she really sucks?  Do you call her a band nerd cause she was in band, but then she quit (this complicates things)?  Do you call her awesome and a friend because she has a car and she can take you places?  Do you worry that she will shoot you because her dad (hahaha, never not funny!)?  Do you think she'll give you a discount at the grocery store she worked at?

It was really confusing.  Add to that, I wasn't hanging out with the popular kids.. which I realized about halfway through my senior year.  Not that this hurt my feelings any, because from the stories I was hearing, they were going to the river and getting drunk, and I already had enough on my plate my senior year of high school (Teh Crazy Mom and the Ex-Fiance' (who was just a bf then) that Teh Crazy Mom didn't like and Teh Megan going to college and Teh Gram dying.. too much, too much).

So.. my high school clique was me only.  A busy life of going to school to my nerd classes, then to work, mean while quitting the swim team because work was interfering and I wasn't able to really swim for the beginning of the season because I'd pulled a muscle in my stomach (which now that I think about it could be related to Endo), which the doc thought was me trying to say I needed a pregnancy test because Teh Going Crazy Mom was there.. Siiigh, I hate being a girl..

I found this highly amusing (image)

Creative Advertising

(image) 

This is actually a Dr. Pepper ad campaign.

And while I love me some Dr. Pepper...  I would NOT wear this shirt.

Creative and successful advertising... you're doing it wrong.



 

Life stories 1..

Most of my writing is based on my life, unrelated to my blog, which is of course about my life.  Like in college, when I was taking creative writing classes, all my stories were very unoriginal in that they were in some way, always, based on my life.  Stories about yourself are always the easiest to tell.  I started doing this well before college though.

It probably started in elementary school when we had writing tests, omg 5 paragraphs?  intro, 3 topic paragraphs, and a closing paragraph?!?!  I'm going to faint.  The writing subject was always something cheesy like, what is your favorite dessert and why (we had a kid definitely write about his favorite desert for that one), narrate how you spent your first day of school, what does it mean to be a good neighbor.. but it was always related to YOU, the writer.

My college application essay was about the flooring in my life.  No jk.  I described the floors in my childhood home, busting my ass on the tile floor trying to mop it, squeezing a Hi-C fruit punch puddle in the corner of all the rooms to see if it would change the color of the brown carpet.  I describe the floors in the house we moved into with Teh Mom after my parents separated, the cold tile, but there was navy blue carpet in the dining room only, how we called the house "The Box".  The house Teh Mom moved to after The Box, which we called The Mold Bin, that only had carpet in the living room, tile in the kitchen and bathroom, and hardwood in all the bedrooms.  How often I missed the drab, brown carpet of the house I grew up in because I hated waking up in the morning and putting my feet down on cold floor.

I was accepted to the only college that I applied to, but it was probably more about my grades and all the college credits I was already going to NCSU with rather than my essay.

So today, we're going to talk about toothpaste.  It's kind of a big deal.  Most people (at least in America, /crossing fingers) use toothpaste every day.  I've used LOTS of toothpastes in my life.

The first one I remembering is: Crest.

(image)

Its what Teh Parents used.  I may have used some random kids toothpaste here and there, but I definitely remember that white tube for a very long time.

At some point, I probably had some: Aquafresh Kids

(image)

I quickly learned that bubble gum flavor really wasn't for me.

A few times, I got to pick the toothpaste when we went to the store.  So, to be different, I chose: Colgate

(image)

This wasn't really anything extreme, it was pretty boring actually.  So then I went with: Colgate Total, since I was totally enamored with how sparkly/shiny the box was.

(image)

I then decided that I wanted my own toothpaste, so I asked Teh Mom for: Mentadent.  I desired this crazy lack of tube design for my own toothpaste.

(image)

I used this stuff for a while, but then I got tired of always running out of one color before the other.  Apparently, it takes a lot of skill to press this sucker evenly on both sides to get even amounts of blue and white.

After using "adult" toothpaste for so long, I decided to experiment.  I went with: Crest Whitening Expressions, citrus flavor, because if you're gonna go out on a limb, you gotta do it right

(image)

I learned quickly that mint was the way to go with toothpaste.  I tried my friend's cinnamon, because she was toothpaste experimenting at the same time, and it was NOT for me... ever.

Then I moved on to: Aquafresh.

(image)

Got tired of the non-tube theme in my life and went back to basics.

(image)

For many years I went back and forth between Colgate Total and regular Aquafresh.  Total had that flavor I liked, but Aquafresh had those 3 colors, and it was always a feat to get the same amount of each color on the toothbrush.

Then at some point during high school, came: Aquafresh Extreme Clean........

(image)

This was the most delightful toothpaste I've ever put on a toothbrush.  It had a great minty flavor and it had the Aquafresh stripes, but this time, it had quirky orange and white stripes...  And the best part ever.. So many tiny bubbles in my mouth.  I actually felt like my mouth was cleaner.  I might have also looked like a rabid dog because of all the foamy toothpaste, but it was amazing!

I have been using this stuff since high school and, now, that was a very long time ago.  People have complimented how white my teeth are and I always tell them I've been using the same toothpaste for years.  A toothpaste hand crafted with love from God himself.

But recently, I was feeling like it was time for a change, so I picked up: Crest 3D Whitening

(image)

I'd been using the Aquafresh for so long, I felt like it was time we took a break.  About 3/4 of the way through the tube of the 3D white, my teeth started to hurt.  I didn't like it.  It made me miss my Aquafresh.  I decided this was a good lesson.

So I picked up some: Aquafresh Advanced

(image)

NOT THE SAME as my Extreme Clean.  The day that I went to the NEX to buy toothpaste (since I was running out of the Crest), I couldn't find My Precious.  So, I took a risk.  And I failed and learned a lesson.

Not all Aquafresh is the same.  This stuff lacked the bubbles that made my mouth so happy.  It was that boring green, white, and red stripe pattern.  I only used it once, I didn't like it so much I even put it back in the box (anyone want some free toothpaste?).  That day I brought My Precious back home: Aquafresh Extreme Clean..  and it was a good day for all as the world was right again.


Note: this was an image I found while getting the photos for this blog.

(interesting experiment)

This person had a bunch of expired toothpaste laying around, put them all into a bowl, mixed them together, then brushed their teeth with the concoction.  Can I haz science experiment?




   

"You can't fight country" Part 2

So we left off last time with the story about TC and TT driving The General Lee across the street to see Teh Dad and getting pulled over on the way home..  That was last summer.  1 year ago.

Map and Key in case you forgot:

Red Diamond = where all the action takes place.  It is actually the end of the road I grew up on.  When Teh Dad bought a house, he bought a house literally across the street.  

Red Circle = VERY bad place to pull out into traffic.  You can't really tell from the image, but its actually halfway down a small hill, meaning when you turn out onto the street, you have to gun it and hope that no one is coming.  Have I/we pulled out in front of people before?  Yes, often.  Its a REALLY bad place to have a driveway.

Orange Arrow = Teh Dad's house

Yellow Arrow = TC/TT house

Green Line = Directions from Teh Dad's to TC/TT's house.

My family (apparently)...  Bo, Luke, and Rosco...  /siiigh (image)

Part 2...

Let me back up and say that both part 1 and part 2 were relayed to me on Father's Day 2011 over Skype.  So this is just me retelling the story...  for your entertainment, to show you the wounds that haven't become scars yet on my psyche.

Teh Dad is a pretty good handy man when it comes to getting things done around the house.  But, because he's been in NC for so long and started to assimilate to the redneck ways, he's become more... "imaginative" in ways to get things done.  This hurts my soul a bit.

So, The Day Before Father's Day 2011 (TDBFD11)....  Teh Dad decided that it was the day for the dead/dying tree to be removed from the yard.  "It only had about 20 green leaves this year," was his proof that it had kicked the bucket.  I didn't fight it.  It isn't my yard and the 2 times that I've visited in the past 2 years, I didn't really notice the dead/dying tree.  His prerogative.     

Teh Dad:

I had to decide how I was going to get rid of this tree.  I could just saw it down and then cut it up, but then I would have to deal with the stump.  And this is a big tree.  I couldn't pull that stump out on my own.  So, I decided that I'd just get the truck and pull the whole tree over.  So that's what I did.  I put a chain around the tree and hooked it to the truck.  I started spinning a little bit, but finally the wheels caught and the whole tree, stump and all were leaning over.  I was glad the the stump had come out.  But now I was stuck again.  I had to figure out how to get this tree out of the yard.  I could cut it up and bring it to the neighbor's (meaning across the street to the relatives), but that still left me with the stump and it wasn't a one man job.  So, I thought about calling TC to see if he could come help me with it.  Then I had a better idea...

At this point, Teh Dad burst into giggles and was laughing so hard he was crying.

Me, laughing at Teh Dad laughing: Oh no.  This isn't good..

tD: Since the tree was already hooked up to the truck, I figured I'd just drag it to the neighbor's.

Me, not laughing: You WHAT?!  (I get that "WHAT" straight from Teh Dad, so its only fair I get to use it on him)

tD: I was going to drag the whole tree to the dump.  (Which is located on the neighbor's (by neighbor he means his uncle and cousins) property)

Me:  Behind the truck?

tD:  Well, yeah, how else?  Let me finish!

Me:  I'm scared.  

tD, chuckling the entire time:  Since the tree was already halfway tipped over and out of the ground, I figured I'd just drag it across the street.  I figured by the time I got it up our road, that it would have a flat place on the bottom, so it would drag just right.  

Me: Riiiight.

tD:  So, I decided I was just gonna do it.  The truck's tires squealed, but I got started up the hill.  Then I realized that if I stopped at the top of the hill for the stop sign, I was going to have some trouble getting started again, so I checked to make sure there wasn't anything coming from the right.  There was a car at the top of the hill, but I knew I'd be ok.  And since you can't see the other way, I figured if I gunned it, hopefully they'd have time to notice and stop..

Me, giggling:  Before they hit a tree?

tD:  Well.. yes.  Anyways, I gunned it and made the turn and I guess I underestimated how flat the tree should have been on the stump from dragging it up the road, because that tree just kept rolling across the road.  The car was still coming down the road, but they had slowed down.  Which was good, because at this point the tree was blocking the entire road.  

Me:  Apparently, that wasn't supposed to happen.

tD:  Well, no, the flat place wasn't very flat.  So I straightened out and finally got the tree behind me, but by this point the car had stopped.  I turned on my signal and turned onto the neighbor's driveway.  Then I looked up and realized that the car that had been stopped was turning around on our road and put blue lights on and was headed for me.  

Me: /face palm.  

tD: It was the sheriff's deputy (SD).  I just stopped at the end of the driveway, because I knew there was no point in trying to keep going.  He got out of his car, inspected the tree on his way to the truck, and said, 'You wouldn't happen to be related to Bo and Luke would ya?'  I responded, Well, sir, my last name is Roscoe.

At which point, he paused and began laughing till he cried again..  and simultaneously, I realized he had made his own Dukes of Hazzard reference.. to get out of a ticket... by purposely pronouncing our name wrong.  /face palm #2 with attempted suppressed laughter to not encourage Teh Dad, and to mask the slight irritation that he's purposely said our last name wrong just so he could make a Dukes of Hazzard reference to get out of the ticket.

    SD:  Excuse me?  

    tD:  One second, I'll show you my license.

    SD:  Well, I'll be damned.  What the hell are you doing dragging a tree down the road?

    Teh Dad then recounted the story of pulling the tree out of the yard, and added in how it was just easier to pull it across the street than have to cut it up, struggle with the stump, which was not a one-man job, and then haul it all across the street.  But he did offer to stop dragging it if the officer wanted to wait for him to unhook the tree, go across the street to get the chainsaw, he'd cut it up...  If the officer would help him put the stump in the bed of the truck.  

At this point, my mouth is hanging open.  These people are my relatives?  NO WAI!

    SD:  I'm going to have to stop coming this way.  You and your cousins, Bo and Luke, are gonna get me killed one day.  Just get rid of this tree, and don't do this again, Mr. Roscoe.

    tD:  Yes, sir.

Cue mouth hanging open even more.  Same officer, 2 ridiculous acts, neither of them got a ticket.. WTF?  Teh Dad did mention that dragging the tree down the dirt road had really smoothed it out.  And he considered dragging it up and down a few times to  "get it really smooth."  When we lived there, it was always an adventure to dodge the potholes, because there were ALWAYS potholes in the driveway.

Me:  Tell me you didn't.

tD:  No, but I seriously considered it.  Just going up and down the driveway once or twice, turning around at the top of the driveway.  But I didn't want the sheriff's deputy to see me and think I was playing around, so I just took it too the dump.

Me:  What a good idea.

Or he'll kick a tree's ass.. But still, so redneck hardcore.... (image)

I retold this story to Teh Bear a day or so after Teh Dad told me.  I don't tell it as funny as Teh Dad does, but then again, I wasn't crying when I retold the story.  Apparently, teh Stepmom did NOT approve of Teh Dad's antics.  She immediately asked if any of their neighbors had seen him and said she couldn't believe he would do that.  Which of course, made me laugh, because, being the older child, I revel in things that aren't approved of by parental figures.

I really wish I had an audio recording of Teh Dad telling this story because it was hilarious, one of those stories I could listen to and it would always be funny.  His reactions to his telling of the story and the ridiculousness that was part 1 and part 2, the fact that part 1 directly related to part 2, even though it was a year later.  The fact that even though I didn't want his redneck ways to be funny, they really were, which was even more funny when teh Stepmom didn't approve.  

The entire time Teh Dad was telling his story, I kept thinking about a conversation Teh Bear and I had a few months prior where he made a sign that said, "You can't fight country" because I was trying to prove to him that just because I'm from NC doesn't mean I'm a redneck.  Apparently, you can't argue with a sign.  What kind of yankee logic is that?

The final thing about the story was that it made me further embrace when people say my last name wrong, which has been a difficult thing for me over the last 25 years.  

Side story:

Since I joined the Navy, I have pretty much given up on correcting people when they say my last name wrong, sad but true.  When I was in boot camp, I was chosen to help with an inspection and was given a bravo zulu for doing a good job.  The Chief I had assisted asked me what my name was and I told her.  My RDC (drill instructor) was standing there, and said, I've been pronouncing your name wrong this entire time?!?!  

Me: Yes, Petty Officer.

RDC:  Why didn't you correct me?

Me:  Well...  

RDC:  Nevermind.  Go away, (correct last name).

Me, with a smile:  Yes, Petty Officer.

She never pronounced it wrong again after that.  :)

PS.  You can definitely fight country.. Just not if you have relatives like mine..  /face palm #3.