On Saturday, Teh Bear packed all his things and headed back to FL. So now its me and Phil until Sam arrives.
It was an extremely difficult decision that was all on me. I should get to purging all the photos of us that are scattered around the house, but I can't yet.
Watching him pull out of his parking spot was one of the toughest things I've endured, I don't think I've ever heard myself wail in such a way. Watching him turn at the red light almost put me on my knees.
For months and weeks and years I dreamed that all the silver Santa Fe's driving around SoMD were Teh Bear's. Rarely did I ever actually see him on the road while he was here, but watching him turn on the highway I knew that every silver Santa Fe will haunt me for a while.
Apparently, the universe knew I needed some support though.
Teh Sister reminded me to stock up on Edy's.
Phil moves when I move. He knows. It's always creepy how animals know when their people are hurting. It was obvious how confused Phil was since he wasn't sure who to try and comfort.
A FB friend posted this right around the same time Teh Bear was leaving:
A friend I used to work with had messaged me while we were loading Teh Bear's car and I had missed it. I checked her message when I was able to see again and apologized for missing her call and explained that I was a shit show at the moment. She still invited me out to lunch, where I watched her eat something that smelled delicious.
Another friend offered to bring me dinner and I explained that I'm now on the breakup diet, which means that I'd love to eat, but it doesn't stay down. I did accept the invitation to come socialize with Phil because it seems like my house now echoes. Things seem to be missing. Oh and there's a LOT of dust.
Another friend offered to bring lemon Oreos and ensured that I was doing ok.
The universe knows and I hadn't even told anyone... until I did and this overflow of concern came from them. Also, did I mention I have really great friends? Truly.
I honestly didn't want to do this post. I still don't want to hit publish but I will. I don't want to accept the fact that I ended my relationship with a great person who made me pretty damn happy.
But I did.
And I need to face that.
I'll do that.. just maybe.. another day?
PS. This isn't a pity post. It's really more of a marker for myself on Teh Blog and an explanation to Gentle Readers for changes that are imminent.