Sunday, January 25, 2015

Catching up..

Within the last few months, most of the bloggers that I follow have talked about being burnt out and needing a direction or have even gave up blogging entirely.  At the time, I was all toots-magoo because I had all the time (and rage) in the world and I was keeping up with my M/W/F schedule like a boss and I was feeling like I'd posted a linkup too many, but that schedule also helped me tell you about the goings-on in my life, which is the point of this here blog, so it was kinda working for me.  I wasn't feeling like the "blogger sickness" was effecting me...

Then it was Christmas, then it was New Years, then it was CA trip, and now it's my "real life" job.. I just feel so life overwhelmed that stopping and spending some time with Teh Blog is more difficult than I want it to be.

You see, I love this space.  I love how inviting this blank white box is for me to fill in all my thoughts.  Then I get to hit publish (which still gives me a little thrill) and it's out there for other people to see if they want to.  But taking the time to fill that white space.. sooo much effort.

In addition, I had some personal drama that was going on that I'd love to talk about here because this is my rant/venting space, but it's not appropriate to air my dirty laundry on the internet (knowing how many people I personally that know read this).  Is it strange to anyone else that I wouldn't mind airing my dirty laundry to strangers, but mind when it's people that know me?  I find that a little ironic/confusing, but it is what it is.  After some real talk, most of that personal drama went away, thankfully.  Granted, there was an unavoidable catalyst that got it started, but in the end, everyone came out unscathed.  Thank Buddha.

I had planned on doing the Friday link up Friday morning, but instead got distracted doing my taxes instead.  Something about dollas in my bank account was more motivating than bragging to you about how awesome my work is, but don't worry, we'll get to that.

After working 4 days, I'm struggling to get into a schedule.  I'm hoping that next week my schedule starts becoming consistent and my life will be better (aka, going to bed at 7pm is desirable).  I did accomplish some great things this week though, the biggest thing being finally getting my SC plates and finalizing my SC registration.  Le sigh.  Teh Sister kinda lit the fire under my ass when she pointed out my NC plate expired in November and the latest you can get away with an expired tag is 15 days into the following month.  Well.. We were a month past that 15 days.  My bad.  I had been driving around completely oblivious too, but the minute she pointed it out, I became paranoid.  Now, I can drive easy again with my crappy paper plate until the real metal one comes.

Side note: Why are collegiate plates so freakin' expensive?  Ugh.  I just wanna be special, not pay an arm and a leg for a pretty tag.  Whatevs.  In keeping with the theme, I went with the SC NCSU plate, because that's what I've had for my NC plate since I got back from Bahrain and before I graduated college until I left for GTMO.  It's a thing.

Moving on, I started my new "real life" job!  It feels unbelievably surreal.  I have my own desk and my own computer and I wear adorable dresses and there's free drinks and snacks and no one is harassing me to do this month's GMT (general military training) and people are offering to help me find things to make my job easier, even though it's not their job to help me, nor do they even have any idea what I actually do, they are just nice people.  When I told my manager I was probably going to work 7-3, he said ok.  I'm treated like an ADULT.  I'm not treated like I'm less than anyone/ignorant/lacking something/inexperienced because of a stupid collar device on my uniform.  I just.. I don't even have words for how amazing it is.  To say I'm thankful and grateful is an understatement.

I keep thinking back to the first time I saw the job posting and the feeling I got when I was reading the company name and the posting and how it just FELT right.  In a way that seems silly, but it's true.  The name alone hit a nerve with me (in a good way).  Then when I was interviewing and they gave me a tour of the office and the one guy (my now manager) who kept saying WHEN I do things, not IF I get the job and I do things.  Finally, when the company from October called with an offer on the first day of the CA vacation and I didn't feel tempted.  I KNEW I had gotten exactly what I had been praying for.

Did I mention that faith is hard?  Yeah.  It is.
See I talk to God sometimes and after the Friday that Company was supposed to call and tell me if I got the job or not (aka the Thursday night that I had barely slept at all, despite having to work at Target on Friday morning, each time I woke up, I'd say my prayer, "Please God, let me get this job," and go back to sleep for another 30 minutes), I vowed to go to church that Sunday, despite the fact that they didn't call, and I had to contact them.  Not that God works on a bartering system, but sometimes you have to put forth a little extra effort to show God you are serious.  Some people fast, I barter.  Maybe it's the Catholic in me.  "God, I'll say 10 Hail Mary's tonight, so please don't let there be horrible traffic in the morning."  And fasting gives me migraines and hangar and many unpleasant things that no one likes for me to experience.

I got up that Sunday morning and got dressed up cute and headed out the door to the church I'd been wanting to try, only to find out they were having a 10am service.  I had made a deal with The Big Man, so I went to the other church that I'd been to once before.  When I pulled in the (empty) parking lot, I noticed their sign said they were doing a 10am service as well.  At which point, I FELT God let me off the hook.  Instead, I went to Walmart and picked up some items while there was barely any crowd and went back home and spent the day (which was a good day in the midst of lots of bad ones) with Mr. Scrooge.  Sometimes, it's about the effort.  2 days later, I got the call that I got the job.

I've never cried from happiness and relief in my entire life until that day.  I didn't hear the end of the voicemail.  I didn't try to listen to it again before calling my HR lady back.  The weight that came off my shoulders from GETTING this job overwhelmed me.  Now that I'm actually working it.. I'm overwhelmed at how I landed such a sweet gig.  Seriously, it's all I can do not to rave on the Facebooks all day about how awesome my job is.  I considered using my Twitter account just to rave about how awesome my job is since I want to tell people about it practically every second.

Awesome job example:
I took a selfie with the laptop and posted it to FB during a conference call on Thursday with my boss sitting right beside me because we were all in a stupor at how the call was going.

I work with people who have nothing to prove because they are awesome at their job and they don't have to be better than anyone else at doing it because it's THEIR job and ONLY their job.  There's no competing with other people in your office for a check in a box on a piece of paper every year.  Even at my lowest point, I've never regretted leaving the Navy.  This job only further cements that feeling.

I still want to show you my Magnolia Gardens photos (which are mostly still unedited) and I want to tell you about the CA adventure.. but I also wanted to admit that right now I'm teetering on burn out and most of that has to do with the pressure I put on myself to blog.  I mean, I have like 5 whole readers (and one of those is Teh Dad) so it's not the world ending (ok, yes I have more than 5 readers, but I'm workin' the drama llama, go with it) if I don't post all the time.

But at the same time, some of the self-pressure is because writing my Monday post to review my weekend is my way of not forgetting what happened.  My Friday post is to kinda review my week.  Wednesday is confessions, and well, you get what you get with that.  It's a mishmash of rants and occurrences that have happened over the last week.

I constantly have a list of things I'd like to do that rarely seems to get accomplished.  For instance:
-Finish the puzzle that has been on my table since... idk when.  For a few weeks now.  I'm ready to reclaim my space... and find another surface to do puzzles on because using the table is KILLING me.  Done.  And then I started another one.  FML, I have no will power against puzzles.

-I want to go take photos in downtown Charleston on a nice day.  The buildings are old and it's good exercise, if nothing else.
-I want some sunrise photos over the (stinky) marshes.
-I want to play the video games I bought back in October that I STILL haven't played yet because I rarely take the time to play video games and Mr. Scrooge refuses to play my games (for a reason unbeknownst to me)..  I think I did unlock all the levels in Katamari, so I get credit for that.
-Continue our weekend gatherings with our SC homies.  Sometimes it seems like a lot of work, but I really enjoy having everyone over or going to their house.
-Workout (I always have good intentions.  Hopefully having a consistent schedule will help).
-Catch up on my Feedly, which wouldn't be so bad if I would just read my subscriptions every day.
-Catch up Teh Blog on missed events (Magnolia Gardens, CA vacation)
-Catch up Teh Puppies Blog and schedule out posts of all the photos I need to share because my dogs are unbearably adorable.

Getting my SC tag was on that list since November, so having taken care of that (ouch, my poor wallet), that kind of relives some serious pressure (what with the fear of getting pulled over and getting multiple tickets).

My "real life" job is hopefully going to take off next week.  My manager and his cohort have been trying to make sure that I know what my job is supposed to be and helping me get that ball rolling since I'm the only tech writer at Company or at least in our office.  I'm also hoping since it will be a full work week AND Mr. Scrooge and I have meals planned for the week, I'll be able to keep a consistent schedule.  That means, go to work, get off work and hit the gym, come home and make dinner, then veg until bedtime.

I managed to get all my errands done this weekend, which sucked, but it's infinitely better than trying to fit it in after work when I'd rather be at home in pajama pants.  We didn't have our normal gathering which was slightly disappointing, but it meant that Mr. Scrooge and I were able to not do anything all.weekend.long. (other than my errands, which I didn't make him attend).

My goal in the near future is to catch up on all the blog things.  The photo editing, the posts, etc.  I'm not sure how successful I'll be, but I'm at least going to think about it on the regular, which counts for something.

Also, I think I've committed to doing a cyber book club in February.  We're reading Where'd You Go, Bernadette which I've never heard of, but I've been looking for some reading direction and this just happened to fall into my lap.  I read while I'm working out, and my goal is to work out at least 3 times a week, but ideally 5 days a week, which means at least 40+ minutes of reading every day.  ANNNDD I'm a fast reader which means that I go through books fairly quickly, so I'm glad to have some direction.  I finished One More Day while on the flight to CA, and I tried to start The Girl You Left Behind by JoJo Moyes, but I knew that One More Year was also on Nook and I could see if Gayle Forman is a script writer like Nick Sparks AND, more importantly, I would be able to know what happened to Willem.. and after reading all about Paris in One More Day, I wasn't sure I was ready to take on another Paris book with The Girl You Left Behind.

What I've learned over the past few months of reading: I'm a sucker for a good book based in the south.  I think part of it is that I know where these places being described are actually located.  I've never been to Paris or London or anywhere in Europe besides northern Scotland, so it is very difficult for me to completely comprehend the setting descriptions.  Additionally, "southern books" that have the dialect written into it make my brain so unbearably happy.  I'm not sure why, since it usually means when I emerge from my reading I'm speaking with an extreme southern accent, but I do.

The other thing I've learned from all my reading exploits over the last few months is that I'm ready for a new ereader.  I want one that is backlit so I don't have to use a light (likkkkeee when I'm on a plane or in the car) and Nook has been giving me some issues with the buttons (which I have to use while I'm working out for some reason since the screen doesn't like when I touch it) getting stuck, then all of a sudden I'm in the middle of a sweat session and Nook is going crazy just flipping pages.  No, bad Nook.  The rage usually takes me over and I worry that I'm going to fall off the elliptical while trying to reset the stupid thing.  Yay self-birthday present!  If you have any ereader suggestions, I'm all ears, but my only criteria is that it works will with Calibre since I download most of my books and put them into whatever format I need.

Any chance I get to use a Disney gif is a good day.

Finally, I'm still on the quest to find that stupid Today is Going To Be A Great Day! 2015 Page-A-Day Calendar that is marked up so high on Amazon.  I actually messaged 2 sellers and said I'd buy it if they dropped their prices.  So far that hasn't happened yet.  The morning after I messaged the 2 sellers, I saw them posted for $15 and I couldn't believe my luck.  You better believe I ordered that sucker RIGHT THEN.  I kept waiting on the shipping email from Amazon and later that night I got an email from the seller saying it was sold out... I wanted to reach through the computer screen and smack a ho.  I still haven't seen the stupid calendar fall below $40, which I still refuse to pay because its.a.calendar.(and this is a #firstworldproblem to the max).  There's always next year, but that's SUCH a long time to wait.  /weep

But now, I think it is time to get ready for tomorrow and go to bed.  If you made it through this entire post, I commend you.  I know it was quite wordy, but I really needed to have a solid word vomit session.  You're the best, Gentle Readers.

Flowers for no reason.  I'll keep him.

I saved the best for last.
If this isn't the cutest thing you'll see all day, then you're super lucky.


  1. Yes, yes, yes to all of this. Confession, I used to blog a lot at work and make my comments and now I really kind have to work and do stuff. Since my job pays all the monies and the blog gives me no monies, I need to work at work. :)

  2. 1) Blogging can be hard, yo. But we understand. Most of us do it ourselves.
    2) Yay awesome work!
    3) Totally agree about books in the South. It's like comfort food for your brain.

  3. I loved Where'd You Go, Bernadette!!! Such a different way of telling a story. Good plot, too.

    I'm glad that you're happy and excited about your new job. You deserve after suffering at Target.

    I'm also way more comfortable sharing with strangers than real life people which is why I struggle with even promoting my blog on my personal FB page. I don't care if what I say is out there for the whole internet but knowing a high school acquaintance or my neighbor is reading it? Freaks me out.

  4. I'm glad the job is going well so far! It sounds like you have awesome co-workers... I love how you said they don't have anything to prove - coworkers can make or break a work environment!

  5. I fell ya about the strangers vs known-peoples reading the blog. I'm friends on FB with a girl I went to middle school with and she commented to me one time about something I wrote! I was like WTF - Did you creep on me to find it??? Now I wonder if she reads all the time and doesn't comment, which sucks since she is such great blog-fodder!


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