Friday, October 19, 2018

Five on Friday #169

EINS - Random Shit

-I went on a run Monday morning and I wasn't doing the full on troll hobble, but it was hurting pretty bad, so I scheduled a visit with the podiatrist.  The x-rays look fine, so he taped a spongy cushion to the ball of my foot and told me to leave it on through Wednesday.  I'm pretty sure that walking on it made the left side of my calf hurt, but my foot feels better.  Or it could be the steroids he gave me.  Who knows.  I can do all activities besides run.  I haven't put it to the test though, other than going to the gym.  I really need this shit to sort itself out soon.  I got miles to get in before Teh Running Bestie and I descend upon Raleigh with all our running badassery and injuries...

-Since visiting Germany is out of the picture, thanks USCIS, we put plan B into motion.  Flights, lodging, rental car, and trip insurance have been purchased for our Colorado Snowcation!!!!  SOoooooooo pumped.  Teh German gets to snowboard his heart out, and I'll try to learn to snowboard, hopefully, or I'll bring a lot of fuzzy socks and read in front of the fire while it snows outside.  We're going to be hanging out in Denver with Sprink and husband and the 13 dogs that will be boarding at the Needle Nose Nirvana and I can.not.wait.

PS.  13 greyhounds is like 4 non-greyhound dogs, maybe.

-Someone on my Spotify Friend Activity Feed is a former FB friend from high school and I lost at least an hour of my life stalking people from high school after noticing their picture had been updated to include a baby.  This led to several trains of thought.

1- I'm not friends with many people from high school on Facebook.  This is because they rarely interacted with me, we've never hung out since 2004 (if not before), or I just felt like they were friends with me to keep up with my life, not because they were genuinely concerned about me.

2- I have some mad stalking skillz.  Really, anyone can do what I do, I only view what is visible to the public, so it's not like I'm hacking into their account or anything.. but you really learn a LOT from profile pic changes and public posts on people's pages by their friends or comments on the photos that are visible.  Wedding rings that go missing and absence of a spouse in the pics, obviously the introduction of babies, where people have traveled to, new significant others, weddings, sometimes deaths...

3- Seriously, all these people having babies.  Where are all the people at who do NOT want to have kids?  People, show yourselves.  Be my friend.  Strength in numbers and all that.

3a. I'm blaming my caring about this baby thing at all on the fact that it's "girl" time so the estrogen is over here on high fucking blast.
3b. My moments of weakness go like this:
A: Look at how cute it is!?!?!?! /squeeeeeeee
B: you have to KEEP the kid for like.. permanent.  You can't give it to someone else when it's being a shit.. and it will inevitably be a shit.. do you know who it's parents will be?  That baby will rival Jack Jack from The Incredibles.
A: but it's so cute.
B: but are dirty diapers cute?  And what about all those fun activities you do?  You sure as shit wouldn't be dropping all that money on a Snowcation if you had spawns.  Nope, you'd be buying diapers and wishing someone would take your baby and let you borrow it periodically when you think it's cute.  And you know your psycho husband wouldn't let you ride your motorcycle when you're incubating his spawn.
B: I can't deal with you when you're like this.  You're on two forms of birth control and it's highly likely that you're infertile anyways, Mrs. Hot Flashes at 32.
B: Seriously, be an aunt.  You obviously have special talents going to waste, but those special talents come in limited, non-parent, amounts.
A: I am an aunt.  My nephew just happens to be in Germany.  OOOO, Teh Sister?
B: Don't you put that on her, Ricky Bobby.  You know better.
A: Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
B: Back at cha.

^^ Every.single.time.
This is my life.

-Soo, speaking of my life and shit that happens to me...  Willow let me down on Tuesday.  When I left the house, my gas estimator said I had 50mpg left in the tank.  This was perfect.  I could get to school on time and then stop and get gas on my way into work.  Excepppptttt, when I got out of class on Tuesday and went to leave, Willow wouldn't start.

Campus Police happened to be patrolling by and I asked for a jump since the radio had displayed something about a dead battery.  IDK how, Willow is just super smart.  Willow also told me that I had 30 mpg left in the tank.  Despite the extra battery juice, Willow continued to make her choking sound.  No idea what to do, I called the Subaru dealership to talk to someone in the service department.

Turns out....... the gas estimator isn't accurate in the 2018 Outback.  Faaaaannnntastic.  They just came out with a fix for the issue in the last week or so, per the service dude I was speaking with.  It's not an immediate problem, so when I bring in Willow for her first oil change, they will give her a vacation and give me a rental and send off the part that needs to be repaired.  I'm lucky that I was parked and in a safe place.  Service Dude said some people had ran out of gas while driving.  I'm on the interstate for 70% of the driving I do.  I almost have a panic attack just thinking about running out of gas on the interstate and being the reason that Charleston traffic is even more fucked up.

Luckily, I have the warranty that covers roadside assistance delivering 2 gallons of gas to me.  An hour later, gas was delivered, Willow was sated enough to get me to the gas station, and a life lesson was learned.  Do NOT rely on those gas estimators.  Get gas when the light turns on.  Just do it.  It's fine.  There is nothing that says that you have to use every single ethanol vapor in the tank before getting gas.

-Turns out, we have to pay to replace the drip pan that has a rusted hole in it, which was causing the ceiling to pee on us.  Actually a drooping pipe caused the rust spot, but ya know, who care about that technicality.  It's not covered by the warranty.  Of course not.  Why would it be?

-Accurate analogies of my life via gifs:

PS.  Those overacted fails are the best.

-Books beeches.
The problem with listening to audiobooks that are 20+ hours long is that they take forever to get through.  Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying them, butttt when I see my Goodreads challenge go from 4 ahead, to 3 ahead, to 2 ahead, to 1 ahead... I just don't like it.  Some might call me an overachiever.  Some might accept that claim.

I'm almost finished with a 55 hour book (Words of Radiance), then I think I'll enjoy a few "short" audiobooks before returning to the other 55 hour book (Outlander 7).  I also finished Magic Burns last night, which was definitely better than book 1 in the series.. ANNNNDDD there was only a few references about modern day things (Subaru car, Altoids mints) that made me stabby.  If your book is set in the future with no given year (that I've been made aware of), things in modern time aren't really that "old".  Kristen and I have had conversations about this.

I've also been in the mood for some solid SOUTHERN audiobooks.  I want that slow accent.  I want fireflies and kadydids.  I started reading The Beach Trees (recommended by Brit) but it's an ebook, not an audio.  I think I will like it though.  I also started reading Sweet Tea and Jesus, a series of short stories, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be and I quit reading it.  I didn't even bother to DNF it on Goodreads, I just took it out of my books.  It wasn't bad, it just wasn't.... my cup of tea.  HA!

I'm enjoying this season of books that I'm in.  A few years ago it was WW2 (eastern front, please) fiction.  Now it's sci-fi and southern shit.  I think my next push will be for the Warcraft books or the Shannara series(es) by Terry Brooks.  Both of those series are approximately a mabillionty books.. so that should keep me busy for the rest of my life.

PS.  I did finish Erin's Challenge back in September, I think.  After changing from some tedious books, I was able to charge on and get shit done.

ZWEI - Money Shit

This week I said, "Goodbye, dolla dolla bills yall!" when I paid for Snowcation things.  #YOLO
Teh German and I were discussing the price of lift tickets (specifically him saying how expensive they are) and I finally said it...  "Then what is the purpose of all the money we make?"  It's one thing to be cheap but it's another to be cheap when you're going on a vacation that you've wanted to go on for yearssss.  I cannot with that.  He had no response, so hopefully the message was received.

-dog food (can we just have a collective hell yes for Amazon auto ship?)
-Audible subscription
-Spotify subscription
-Chickfila splurge Tues morning, which worked out because I would have been hangry AF if I hadn't inhaled that chicken biscuit.
-GAS.  ugh too soon.
-Couples massage through Groupon at my favooorrriiittteee place for our anniversary
-one of those beanies with a pony tail hole.
-Day drinking
-Groceries/stuff at Walmarts
-Erasers for Cadet gifts.  These fools erase.. A LOT and I'm tired of them asking to borrow a pencil/eraser, so I bought some cap erasers with little smileys on them... DONE.  Merry Christmas, Cadets.  You get one and you get one and you get one.
-A cast cover for my bandaged foot.
-Steroid prescription
-Meri vaccine
-Lunch pizza (because the craving for the Big Mac -esque pizza that Park Pizza makes was tormenting me so I finally just gave in and it was soooooooo worth it)
-Meri hair cut (finnnnnaally)

DREI - From My Phone Shit

Toe cushion... which I affectionately referred to as "Pac Man Toe Pad"

Teh Running Bestie and I BOTH have one of these sexy things now.

When the flies have taken over your house and you have to protect your breakfast while getting your shit together to leave for the day...

Apparently, maintenance took down a wasp nest but didn't bother to clear the evidence.
Creepy AF.

Poop Soup!

McPark Pizza
Kinda like a Big Mac pizza.
It was everything you're imagining it would be.

If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a jolly rancher?

VIER - From the Internet Shit

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

  1. My BJB almost going away.
  2. No class on Wednesday and getting to work the whole day.
  3. Going through the course offerings and planning Spring 2019.  I cannot describe how much satisfaction I get from scheduling things.  If I could handle the bitches, I could totally be a wedding planner.
  4. Meri with short hairs.  After cutting out a dingle berry earlier this week, that fuzz had to go.
  6. Teh German making some sweet modifications to Bagheera.  A new exhaust has her purring like the sexy beast she is, and new brighter head-lights were installed so I don't use my high beams 100% of the time, which Teh German hates for some reason.  I really don't care though and now my high beams are going to be even brighter and I'm PUMPEDDDDD!
  7. Books books books!!!!
  8. Teh Chiro who just gets me and all my broke pieces and does his best to realign all my pieces so I can inevitably fuck it all up again.
  9. Steroids for faster healing.  I didn't know.  My world has been lit up.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.


  1. 1)What about people who eventually want to have babies but won't be anytime soon??

    2)YAY Colorado! It's my favorite!

    3)I have permanent b*tch face

  2. My favorite piece of baby/parenting choice advice came from Parks & Rec. April isn't sure if her & Andy should have a baby & asks Leslie what she thinks. Leslie says she can't answer that, but you have a baby because you & your partner are a team and you want to add to your team. That felt very true for me & Hubs. We were happy, we had a lot, but it felt like it was a good time to add to the team.

    My unsolicited .02$...I think our society places a big emphasis on making a decision. Which you don't actually HAVE to do right now. You can be unsure, at least for a little while longer. Or you can say Fuck No now and later change your mind. IT'S OKAY.

    And SAME to pretty much all those last memes.

  3. I never had kids. Zero regrets.


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