tM: Teeth are NOT tools!
tG: They are, we're pretty much monkeys.
Discussing if Christopher Walken was still alive.
tG: He's still ...Walkin.
Drunk tG: Alexa play Chop Suey by System of a Down.
Alexa (verrrrrry slowwwwly): Playing... Chop... Suey... by... System.. of a... Down...
tG: Wow, she really struggled through that.
tM: You didn't really give her a lot to work with.
tM: That's how much I love you, I have explosive feelings for you. (regarding yelling sometimes)
tG: It smells like you explode sometimes too.. (regarding a lingering bathroom smell from earlier)
|Singing to Teh German with Alicia Keys.|
tM: My hair is on fiiiirrreeeee
tG: My ears, too...
As I was taking the above selfie until I got it perfect:
tG: White girl problems.
tG to the dogs: You guys expecting something?
tM: Yeah, bully sticks.
tG: This is not the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Kid beside us at a pizza place is playing with pizza dough.
Teh PT Wife: I would take that dough and eat it [instead of play with it].
tG: I would take that dough.. and make it rain.
Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21