Thursday, November 1, 2018

First Anniversary

1 year ago, I stood, with Teh German, in front of most of our family and friends and publicly declared my love for him and promised him some maybe silly, but not really silly things.  I can't say that every day I've fulfilled those vows, but I can say I tried.

Specifically, my vows included:
I promise that I will keep you up late sometimes to tell you what is on my heart.
I promise that all of our days will not be great.
I promise to need you.
I promise to make you uncomfortable.
I promise to make every effort to show my love for you daily.

Over the course, over the past year, I've been asked, "What's married life like?!"
To which, I'd respond, "Just like it was before we got married."

I won't lie.  I didn't really GET the big deal.  It's a piece of paper that makes half of my shit, his, and half of his shit, mine.  We did all the things we do as a married couple, prior to being married.  We lived together, we had pets together, we have shared friends, we know what each other's likes and dislikes, we know each other's families.  I mean.. we created a LIFE together (not to be confused with a spawn) before putting rings on it.

Some days, I still don't get the big deal about being married.  I mean, I do like my wedding band and I understand the symbolism it holds (don't hit on me, I have already chosen a person to be with for the rest of my life and you're not it), but life doesn't seem different to me because we are married.

I had chosen Teh German to be my forever person before he'd even proposed.  In fact, I'd chosen Teh German to be my forever person sometime soon after we moved into Haus, if not before, despite how much I considered strangling him during the house building process.

And here's the thing.. I thought I had chosen forever persons for myself before, but it wasn't the same as this.  This was cheesy and awkward and sometimes incredibly difficult, but it was never insurmountable.  I knew that with Teh German, I had found a teammate.  I had found someone who wanted me to be their person.  I found someone who laughed with me instead of at me (yeah, the person who did this was obviously not my forever person, but the lies we tell ourselves run deep).  I found someone who was at my level in life and someone that could make me the #1 priority.

Most importantly...  It didn't feel complicated.
It felt easy, and that was NOT something I was used to.
This truth of this statement from the first month of our relationship is still 100% true,
"Teh German makes all the bad places my mind likes to go completely silent." 

That said, we don't always get along.  We CANNOT move anything up/down the stairs together without almost getting a divorce every.single.time.  But when I'm sitting at the dining room table bawling because math and Teh German comes over and just hugs me, I know I picked correctly.  When we're riding in the car and I'm making up my own lyrics to a song and Teh German laughs or joins in, I know I picked correctly.  When we're trying to decide what to do on a Friday night and Teh German says, "Let's just go out," I know I picked correctly.  When I'm staring at Teh German in the dark while we're laying in bed because he's already asleep and I'm not and I "hate" him, I know I picked correctly.  When we're riding the motorcyles and both listening to our own music and we stop at a red light and I look over and think, "That biker dude is my husband," I know I picked correctly.  When Teh German tells people how much my school and work schedule sucks but that he's proud of me, I know that I picked correctly.

In this age of 50% divorce rate and me with the constant mindset of "when will the bottom fall out?", it's strange to feel that Teh German is my forever person.  I consider the worst possible case that would cause us to decide that we're done and I can't come up with anything.  It's scary.  Sure, there are things that either of us could do to bring the end, but it wouldn't be a choice that either of us would make.

Maybe these are the idealistic thoughts of the newlywed, but we're over 3 years into #MegMo and the bottom still hasn't fallen out.


So, to Husband, again, I publicly promise to need you and make you uncomfortable and tell you what is on my heart and to love you each day and to make sure that not every day is great.  There's never been a moment that I've doubted that meeting you is one of the greatest things to ever happen in my life.

You bring me unfathomable happiness, sometimes great frustration and anger, and tear-inducing, belly-cramping laughs.
You are my home.
You are my family.
You are my greatest adventure.
You are my forever person.
You are the man I choose to be my husband.

Ich liebe dich.

PS. #bahlalala #bestteam4ever #MegMo2017 #YouAreMyGreatestAdventure
PPS. You are my "And then."


  1. Happy Anniversary!!! I get what you are saying about nothing really changing after you have already lived together and shared everything before you got married. That was how it was with Chris and I too. But there is something to the wedding band and that piece of paper that makes it extra special I guess? Either way, cheers to many many happy years!

  2. Cue the waterworks! Good thing my students are taking a test & not paying an ounce of attention to me. Happy anniversary!


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