Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The difference between the east and the west...

For the witches, one had green skin and one had white skin (if you don't know what I'm talkin about, I'm sad).
For the coasts, one has liberals and the other has conservatives (mostly-ish-y).
But for North Carolina...  there are a few significant items (which I will list here for you, because I'm awesome).

1.  Barbecue
Ok.  Look.  You might pretend your bbq is delicious, but in NC, we do it, and we do it right.  But we have different ways of doing it.  Example: Eastern NC bbq is usually vinegar based (not so yummy), but Western NC bbq is honey based (yummmmmm).  I hear that Western NC bbq is like Kansas style bbq, but we can steal being first in flight from Ohio cause those boys decided that the OBX was the place to make flyin' happen, so we can steal bbq props too.

food porn (source)
Best barbecue I've ever had?  Danny's BBQ.  This place looks like one of those sketchy chinese food places you'd never go into because its usually located in a strip mall, but OMGGGEEEE....  most delicious meat evar (and thats what she said).  They have 4 different types of bbq sauce on the tables (with different base types), vinegar, honey, mustard (wtf?), and spicy.  Honestly, I could eat the meat without the sauce at all because it was so delicious.  If you're in the RTP area (Raleigh/Durham/Cary), its totally worth going a few minutes out of your way for.

 2.  Landscape
Topography of NC
When I was in middle school, every year AG would take a trip.  One year we went to the Outer Banks, more commonly known/abbreviated as OBX (gag, although that is what is on the licence plates out there).  Our teacher, Ms. A made sure to get on the microphone (yay charter buses) and wake us all up to remind us to watch the landscape change as we drove across the state.  Since we started in the foothills it was slightly mountain-y, then it turned to hills, then it turned to rolling plains, then it turned to farm land, then to sand.  NC is cool like that.  Its also one of the reasons that a lot of folks move to NC, because they can live in the middle of the state and decide to go to the beach or mountains and get there in less than a day.  Been there, done that.

3.  Ways of speaking
Let me be clear about something.  North Carolina is in The South.  See how I capitalized that?  It's because The South is a proper noun.  We all speak southern, but mountain folk talk different than the coastal folk.  If you're trying to pretend in your head that I'm reading this to you with a redneck accent, stop, because you're  doing it wrong.  If you added the not silent -uh to the end of wrong, you might be talkin to me too much.

(google search)
People from The South are known for drinking sweet tea, saying ya'll, and dropping the g's off the end of words.  For instance:
Southern - I was talkin to Bill the other day, and ya'll ain't even gonna guess what he done.
English - I was talking to Bill the other day and you are not even going to guess what he did.

Now, for a story to illustrate East vs West NC speakin.
My roommate in college was from eastern NC.  Fountaintown actually.  And in ebonics it would have sounded like this: Fount-annn-town.  I'm from western NC.  Lenoir actually.  And in ebonics that would sound like this: Lee-nor.

One day, after I returned from class, Mally said to me (direct quote), "The printer weren't workin cause it weren't plugged in."  I was baffled.   I had no idea what the words directed at me meant.  My face explained this with its confused look, and after a few seconds of trying to decipher what had happened, I said, ever so eloquently, "huh?"

Mally:  The printer weren't workin' cause it weren't plugged in.
Me:  The printer weren't workin' cause it weren't plugged in?
Mally: Yeah.
Me: The printer weren't workin' cause it weren't plugged in? (mostly to myself at this point because I knew it was something about the printer)
Mally - stares at me.
Me - thinking on this, decide that its like a math problem, too many contractions, lets simplify.
Mally - moved on to whatever she was doing before I entered the room.
Me: (excitedly) OHHHHH!!!!  The printer WAS NOT working because it WAS NOT plugged in!  I GET IT!
Mally:  Thats what I said.
Me:  I didn't understand all those contractions and double negatives, my bad.

Ok, maybe that last line I wish I would have said, but not the point.  The point is, sometimes even North Carolinians (that is pronounced care-o-len-ians) don't even understand each other.  So the next time you're talking to your favorite southerner (who doesn't have to be me), and you have no idea what they're sayin', just know that no one else knows what they're sayin' either.

PS.  The other speaking quirk I have is that anytime I say anything that ends in a 'g', I add an 'uh' sound to the end of it.  Example:  Wrong is pronounced wrong(uh).  When I articulate the 'g' at the end of words that don't normally have the 'g' dropped off, the -uh always magically can be heard.  But if its supposed to have a 'g' and it can be dropped, it usually gets dropped instead of the -uh being added.  Example:  Driving becomes drivin' instead of driving(uh), unless I'm making a point.  :)

Speaking Southern is VERY complicated.

I've been tryin' since college to lose my Southern accent (source)
What did I miss?


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