-I bought a 5 pack of the regular Cadbury eggs on Easter weekend and I felt slightly guilty, but they are delicious and I'm making up for the last 7 years when I thought they were too sweet. #getinmahbelly
-TMI alert: Apparently, my body thinks its funny to NEED to go business during my morning meetings. Recently, I was telling Teh Sister about my woes (because relatives and people you live with are really the only ones who you should tell about poopin' (unless you have a blog and no filter and happen to be Teh Megan)) and she was laughing at my plight. When my meeting was finally over, I booked it to the bathroom and sent Teh Sister a gif of an explosion knowing how much she would appreciate it.
Her response: Was that your butthole?
My response: Nope, that's what happened to the potty.
I don't care who you are, that's shits funny right there (pun intended). #poopstoriesmakemelaugh #ihavebeenmistakenforachild
-There aren't that many women who work in my building and I wish that we could create some bathroom rules.
1. From the hours of 0900-1500, if there is someone in the bathroom when you walk in, just walk back out and try again in 5 minutes.*
*This rule doesn't apply if the person is at the sink washing their hands, but the incoming person must wait until the outgoing person exits before going #2** if that is the intention of the visit. #1 can commence at anytime, especially if the outgoing individual is lingering for too long (it's those magnifying mirrors).
**This is especially important if you aren't sure if it's going to smell or not.
See that was simple, one rule. This would eliminate the following problems:
~someone being in your stall when you come to the bathroom (don't even pretend like you don't have a preferred stall/bathroom you use)
~poop standoffs (where you are waiting on the other person to leave so you can poop)
~having to smell someone else's poop
~awkward bathroom nods/conversations
#bathroometiquette #solitarypoops #sorryforallthepooptalk
-I can listen to most country music stations all day long. I can't tolerate pop stations for very long and end up skipping 75% of the songs. That said, all these songs about drinking make me want to punch a baby. #idonthavetodrinktohaveagoodtime
-I didn't go to church on Easter and I'm feeling that #catholicguilt something fierce. Seriously though, the church struggle is real.
-I wasn't really planning on buying a motorcycle last weekend and I think no one was more surprised than Mr. Scrooge who was like, you're just gonna write a check for that? Me: Yep. #motorcyclebabe
-I knew after seeing Cristina get off a motorcycle in the first season of Grey's Anatomy that I'd eventually own a bike so I could toss my hair around all sexy after getting off the motorcycle (which is ridiculous because it's completely impossible not to look completely disheveled after removing my helmet). #Cristinaismyfavoriteforever #helmethair
(I looked for a gif of Cristina/a female removing their helmet for over 10 minutes and they don't exist.. 1, that hurts my soul because that's one of my favorite Cristina Yang moments, 2, wtf internet, y u fail me?)
-I started our grill last weekend. This is a confession because until then I had never started a charcoal grill in my entire life. I'm pretty sure I almost singed off my eyebrows. Mr. Scrooge couldn't figure out why I wouldn't give him a straight answer when he asked if I started it. When he assessed my work (he said I hadn't added enough charcoal, but dinner still got cooked so maybe he's just wasteful?) he couldn't figure out why I hadn't ever started a charcoal grill before and I had to remind him, "We always had gas grills. Turn the knob, press the button, POOF!" #firsttimeforeverything
-Easter is not Christmas. Ugh, stop commercializing all the holidays, People, and just spent some time together as a family and share a bag of candy. You have permission to buy extra candy if you're not spending the holiday with family. #familytime
-I started noticing recently that most of my blogs that I read have vanished from my Feedly. It really sucks and it now makes more sense how I was able to be so caught up on blog reading for the last few weeks. #technologyhatesme
-You might have a (foam) roller addiction when you find thing to rub your sore muscles on.. like the arm rest console in your car for your arms or your seat edge for your legs. #imaddictedtomyfoamroller #runningmademethisway
-No jk, I listened to Withdrawal by Tyler Farr on repeat all.day.long yesterday. It's really good that modern technology has given us earbuds so no one else has had to experience my repeat problem. When it was time to leave work, I queued up Spotify on Suzy and pulled out of the parking lot jamming to this song, singing at the top of my lungs. #carconcertperformer
-I'm trying to find a trail/place where I can get in a 8.5-9.5 mile run by Saturday and it's making me pretty anxious. I like having a plan and knowing where I'm going ahead of time and running somewhere new the first is always horrific because it feels like it takes soooooo long. #runningproblems #trainingwoes
-Clip "Clippy" McClippington III has had high levels of activity this week. His nails must have hit a growth spurt. If you don't follow Teh Blog on FB, you're missing out on the Clippy Saga. This message from one of my coworkers summed it up nicely, "It's like he has 35 fingers." Another coworker and I discussed how it was possible that his fingers weren't bleeding all over his keyboard. The puns that come from these conversations are awesome.
Coworker: Clippy McClipington III over there...
Me: :( i sometimes want to ask him if he takes biotin as a supplement. it makes my nails grow super fast.. but i don’t clip them at work every.single.day
Coworker: Megan, when it comes to comedy,. you NAIL it.
Me: I hate myself for laughing at your puns. But this short clip must end.
Coworker: I hate you too :( HAHA! You keep the jokes coming at a nice... ...CLIP
Me: I’ll FILE that away for later.
Coworker: One positive, he works at a pretty good clip though. Sorry I didn't mean to get cute(ical).
Did I mention I love my job and my coworkers are pretty awesome as well? Truth. #nailedit #punintended
-I just lost an hour of my life looking back at webcomics that I used to read. Damn I miss those. Go check 'em out if webcomics are your jam... #webcomicsrock #nevertoooldforcartoons
Questionable Content (which I still follow and several people think that this is where Teh came from since Martin wears a Teh shirt (which I own) reguarly)
Something Positive (which I no longer follow because I got a few years behind (blaming bootcamp/NMITC/GTMO/Bahrain) and have never taken the time to catch up.)
Queen of Wands (which sadly ended, but they started the next comic)
Punch an Pie (I stopped following this one and never really got back into it)
Two Lumps (which I forget and remember pretty regularly)
Striptease (which has ended and made me super sad)
Red String (which I stopped following because I got behind)
Finally, there was one that was Asian themed with people that turned to dragons (or something weird related to dragons) and there were spirits and I loved it and lost it and haven't been able to find it since college, after Ex-Fiance' and I broke up and I'm STILL crushed about it.