Confessions {11/9}

I don't even know how to articulate feelings right now.  Truthfully, I'm absolutely shattered by the results of this election.  I went to bed last night feeling confident that America would continue to make history.  Not only by electing a female president, but also by turning away from a person that embraced a flaming history of racism, sexism, bigotry, all the thing that make people "bad."  We didn't make history.  We elected another white man.

I consider myself a strong woman.  I am grateful and appreciative and whatever other synonyms apply for the fact that women throughout history fought for my rights to be viewed as equal.  One might say that I have taken them for granted.  I live in America, the home of the free, the land of the brave.  We are progress.  But maybe I was wrong.  I was blinded by my own group of people who understood my cause, if not fully supported it with me.  It was hard to believe that I wasn't seeing the face of a joyful woman this morning in the news.  Allison said it right:


The next 4 years will hold a vast amount of change.  Some things will be for the better, but I imagine some things will not.  I imagine that many changes will hurt groups who have made significant progress in the last decade, women, minorities, LGBT, the list goes on.  If you are feeling confident about the results of this election, please, pleasssseeee explain why to me.

I'll admit that I took that "who should I vote for" quiz on Tuesday morning.  I can tell you that I tried to be objective.  I looked at my agree/disagree list for Clinton, Stein, and Trump.  Yes, you read that I right, I actually gave Trump a chance.  Here's the problem.  He did actually reflect some of my thoughts on certain issues, but issues most important to me: women's/human rights, education, economy, things that directly apply to me, we did not agree on, or he doesn't have a stance on.

I tell myself that in our political system, it takes a long time for change to happen.  Maybe he won't be able to make things happen that he's said he will (I mean, Obama was shutting down Guantanamo Bay for 9 years and I'm still laughing my way to the bank on that one), and truthfully, that's what I'm hoping for.  But the real truth is that the Republicans control the House and the Senate.  They will vote on a Supreme Court Justice who will have an effect on rulings for decades.  These effects won't just be felt for a few years, but for decades.  But we're too busy worrying that someone in a hijab is going to blow up a building that we can't see how we are unraveling centuries of progress.

This tweet resonated with me this morning:
I never wanted my daughters to write the story.  I wanted my daughters to enter the world like I did, screaming about their girl power and taking no shit and demanding equality because we are equalWe might be different, but we are still equal.

Finally, I want to share this post from Teh Ginger (ignore the heat of the moment typos).  


Not all men share the same views as Teh Ginger, which is scary that we live in a world where people decide the fate of another person without much consideration.  I hope and pray and whatever else I can that this election will not undo centuries worth of progress.  I hope that Trump can somehow not destroy the country I call home. 

I'm hoping to pass through this funk quickly.  Trump isn't the president yet so I'll keep enjoying Obama's presidency and hope that he keeps putting out entertaining clips until he's no longer president.  After that, I'll go on youtube and watch the clips with nostalgia.  That said, I'll probably be wearing black for the rest of the week.  That seems like a solid period of mourning for an America that could have had a female president.


Election confessions:

-This was my first election in SC.  I'm pretty sure the lady that set up the ballot machine was using a Super Nintendo cartridge to load my ballot.  I considered asking her if she had to blow into it to make it work sometimes, but I was afraid she wouldn't get it.  #ageprofiling

-There was some true SC entertainment while I waited in line while a lady bitched to anyone that was listening that she had to move her car to a different handicap spot that wasn't in front of the building.  The handicap person was her mother, who was in line and who told her just to move the car.  The daughter bitched and groaned for about half of the time I was in line.  Only half because the first half, she was moving the car 50 feet away and then bitching at the guy who told her to move.  The lady in front of me said, "Maybe she doesn't know she's on 'Tolerance Way'", pointing out a "road sign" that said "Tolerance Way".  My polling location was at an elementary school, so this definitely made me giggle.

-SC is a red state.  It hurts my purple-y soul.  Purple-y because based on my "who should I vote for results", I'm a centralist.  See also: It's hard being Megan. #Meganproblems

-Despite being a red state, Charleston county was blue!!  #allthejoy

-At 4pm on election day, someone posted in our community page asking if it was too late to register to vote.  I, literally, could not even.  She's been posting on the community page for months, so it's not like she's new to the area.  #AREYOUSERIOUSRIGHTNOW



Non-election related confessions:

-Websites that don't have a link to their homepage on every single one of their pages are complete bullshit.  I'm looking at you Progressive.  #getyourshittogether

-I lurve me some chat with companies.  I do not lurve their macro responses.  Nor do I love when chat reps cannot provide service.  #thisis2016

-I know everyone is selling something these days, but I reallyyyyy hate it when I'm added to groups on FB for selling stuff.  Not only do I get all those notifications, then I have to leave the group and I feel like I'm turning my back on a friend, but I just.. can't.  No.  Hard NO.  #SayingNoSavesMoney

-I have asked ZERO of my friends if they know what the surprise is that Teh German has had on the calendar for a month+.  #selfcontrol  It's absolutely killing me.

-I took out my Mickey studs for my trip to DC since I was going to meetings that I wanted to look "professional" at.  Then I put them right back in my 2nd holes and put hoops in the first holes, because #priorities and #disney4life  #notsorry.






Comments

  1. I straight up cried. The worst part is I know so many that were so happy with the selection yet cannot give me an accurate response other than Hillary didn't win. I don't understand that logic. Anyhow I took the time to disable Facebook on my phone and I will be avoiding it for the next couple days so as to avoid any more hate than what I've already seen in the hour I had it up this morning. I worry for my daughter's teacher but I hope that if I continue to teach her the values that women are equal and that hate is never acceptable some day the world will set itself right again.

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  2. "I never wanted my daughters to write the story. I wanted my daughters to enter the world like I did, screaming about their girl power and taking no shit and demanding equality because we are equal. We might be different, but we are still equal."


    This. So much this. I have never cried at an election, always thought many people were over-dramatic...but I went into my daughter's nursery while she was sleeping and cried and prayed that somehow, I was wrong about the gut-wrenching depression that had taken hold when I woke up to this news. How do I look her in the eyes and say "You can grow up to be and do anything" when my fellow Americans proved what complete and utter bullshit that is? Because yes, I completely believe that it is mostly because she is a woman- there is NO WAY that 20+ years of experience does not win against ignorance (both of the job you are applying for and just civility in general) without some shit like sexism.

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  3. I loved that line that Brittany quoted above. I wanted that too. I actually had the thought last night that maybe I shouldn't bring up a child/children in this world. Then I realized that I could teach them equality and tolerance and acceptance and I felt better about it.

    Lighter note: I totally agree on those selling groups. So irritating!

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  4. oh, look! my tweet! haha - i clicked on feedly to read your post and was like, "that's me!" when i saw it. but yeah, you read my post today. i have nothing left to say. we're all feeling to many of the same things right now and it really, REALLY sucks. but tomorrow i plan to wake up, shower (something i didn't have the energy to do today), head to work and live my life. and somewhere down the road i hope to do more to inspire real, honest change. we need it.

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