Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Confessions {3/4}

-I want to like Honey I'm Good by Andy Grammar but I don't.  I like the beat, probably because it's pretty catchy, but the message kinda feels similar-ish to Rude by Magic.  Sketchy.

-All hipsters with beards make me think of Teh Bear.  It freaks me the eff out on the regular. 

-The new property manager/relator that we are working with is already on my bad side after she was sexist and I REALLY wanted her to be The One.  Let me explain...

Me: The toilet seat is broken and I tried to replace the seat, but the screws are so rusted that when I try to unscrew them, the threads just strip and I'm only making it worse and they aren't loosening.
Her: Did you have your boyfriend try?

Me = brain explosion.  I just can't even deal with that bullshit.  I'm not sure how I managed to contain myself because I went from in a good mood to I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU TILL YOU DIE BITCH in half a second.  I was torn between the following responses:
1.  Why, because he's so much stronger than me?
2.  Does his penis enable him to replace a toilet seat better than me?
3.  Silence
4.  Wow, sexist much?
5.  If I asked you if your husband had taken out your trash this morning, how would that make you feel?
6.  No, I didn't bother to ask because I'm a perfectly capable independent WOMAN who is able to change a toilet seat on her own.  In fact, I've done it before!
8.  No, I didn't bother to ask because the replacement seat that I purchased last November sat in the bathroom for over a week and he didn't bother to take the initiative to change it, so I took it upon myself to do such a "manly" duty.  When I couldn't get the broken seat off, I returned the new seat.
9.  Hang up.
10.  Lie.

I lied because it was easier, but holy shit I was soooo angry!  I know this is the south and women have their place and men have their place and blah blah blah blah blah, IDGAF because it was sexist and it came from another woman which is why it set me off.  If it had come from a man, I probably would have been equally pissed, but would have actually made a smart ass joke back like, "Did you wife pack your lunch this morning?"  The other concern I had was that she wouldn't get my sarcasm if I made a smart ass response.  I can't deal with that bullshit.  The on-the-fence-feminist in me does NOT approve.

-I've never been more freaked out than watching Mr. Scrooge come out of his anesthesia.  He kept trembling, which the nurse warned me about first thing, so I knew what was happening, but it still freaked me out.  He was also pretty hilarious about needing to adjust himself because he was trying to be polite and whisper to only me, but the nurse could definitely hear him.  The loudest sigh of relief ever was given after he fixed his situation.

-I teleworked yesterday and I was so productive!  It was amazing!  So productive, in fact, that I failed at remembering that I had a massage appointment at 3 and missed it.  Oops.  Glad I'm using a gift certificate and he couldn't charge me anyways.

-Jana has me addicted to Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon.  I'm actually listening to the album while I work on this. 

-I was only slightly disappointed at the cyber book of the month pick this month, Eleanor & Parkby by Rainbow Rowell.. but only because I have to find it to read and I already have Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

-Being a caretaker is exhausting.  But mostly because the pressure I put on myself.  And because it took 3 pharmacy visits to get Mr. Scrooge's prescriptions filled.  #killmeplease #tricaresucks

-Lesson of the week?  Walgreens is the ONLY pharmacy that doesn't accept Tricare.  Seriously.. SERIOUSLY!?!?!  I wanted to kill the apathetic girl that told me that.  Her day didn't suck worse than mine at that point.  I had stopped at CVS with a VERY hangry, bleeding Mr. Scrooge when I was informed they didn't have what he needed in stock, then we waited on the lady to call 2 other pharmacies while Mr. Scrooge got progressively rage-ier and rage-ier.  I just delivered him home after that experience and ventured back out to find his drugs.  I ended up getting it filled at Publix and went back home since the wait was an hour.  #killmeplease #seriously

-Go Karts was a blast, if you didn't see that on Monday.  Additionally, I won 1st and 2nd place and the shit-talkers took 3/4th place.  Really this entire confession was to brag that I came in first and second place...  Honestly, I was thinking I'd come in 3/4th place.. but apparently all that racing I experienced as a kid stuck with me.

-I had given up on the idea of fostering Meri's brother, Xero (still hate that name).  Then, I got a message asking if I was still interested.... YES PLEASE!!!  Hopefully he will arrive on Sunday afternoon if all goes as planned.  Keep your things crossed because I'd really like to see how Meri interacts with a different sibling and how Phil does with another male dog.  Ok, and I have missed fostering.

-Every.single.night before I fall asleep, I tell Mr. Scrooge I'm going to be a princess.  Then I have Disney dreams all night long.  Mostly it's photos in my mind that I've seen on blogs that I've searched out that talk about doing the princess runs, but sometimes I'm in those dreams running my little legs off.

Ok, this  may not be true, but I HAD to use this one.. it's been a hot minute since Teh Sister made me watch this movie.

-Teh MD Adult Roomie and I signed up to do the Cooper Bridge Run while Teh MD Roomies are in town at the end of the month, which means I've got to start training.  Seriously.  Running and I need to have a date..  Uuuugggghhhhhh.  Why is running such a love/hate relationship?  I'm going to miss my ME time.. and now when I am gonna read the book club book and watch those episodes of Grey's that I downloaded?!  #firstworldproblems

-I'm on the hunt for Charleston honey.  I know it exists because someone at work brings it in.. but I can't find it to save my life.

-I judged the shit out of Mr. Scrooge for refusing to take one of his pain pills that had fallen in the dog's water bowl.  I totally would have taken it.  #NBD #ieataftermydog

-Teleworking meant getting to hang out with my adorable dogs all day long.

-I'm pretty sure Meri was trying to be Mr. Scrooge's nurse because she snuggled with him

-I really should start reading my feedly more often so when I do finally go to read blogs, I don't have 90 million waiting on me...

Making Melissa


  1. You're welcome for the Shut Up and Dance addiction. It's on permanent repeat in my house.

    I want to punch that manager in her stupid face. Wow.

  2. The gifs on this post...I love them. Okay so that sexist shit is not okay. Bitch when I say it's broke its broke! Also I am with you on the blog thing I am so behind it isn't funny!!

  3. I'm laughing that you think you can no-show (with no advance call) on your massage therapist and "not be charged." Well, you may not be paying anything out of your pocket right now, but your gift certificate is now considered as "used up." If you want to reschedule, you'll be paying in advance. Licensed professionals don't just sit around paying rent on their space and turning away other customers just on the hope that you might be kind enough to actually show up. You make an appointment, the time is set aside for you, you pay for it whether you stay at home in bed or come in for the therapy. How rude of you to think it would be otherwise. (of course, if you cancel in advance you're good - then we can fill the slot with someone else. But a no-call, no-show? Forget it.)


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