Shit Teh German Said #7

tG: Now I'm a real Southerner.
Honestly, I don't even know what this was about, but the idea just on principle alone is hilarious.


While learning to golf, I was dealing with my #bigboob problem.
tM: That's the biggest thing about me that Teh German has to deal with, my boobs.
tG: And your attitude.


While we were discussing how much we earned in 2016.
tG: So you made more than me.  That's why I appreciate that you're my sugar momma.
tM: Appreciation is all I ask for.
tG: And that's why we're making it all "ours."


tM: When you make that scrunched up face, you look like an old monk.
tG: They make beer.
tM: Sometimes they make wine, or they just pray.
tG: They are lame.


Teh German takes off from a red light way faster than necessary.
tM: Where's the fire?
tG:  In my heart.


Teh German touched the ice pack on my hip as we were falling asleep.
tG: Why is your heart on the outside?
tM: I wear my heart on my sleeve.



While I was cutting down the Haunted Mansion flower graveyard.
T: You're so strong.
M: I work out.
T: Yeah.
M: I squeeze dat ass every day.
T: And that's some tough shit.




Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

What I read in February...

I was super read-y this month!  I finished up Erin's Challenge and moved on to some audiobooks that I've had for a while.  While the library often cockblocks my reading boner (you're welcome for that), it came through for me when it put the new "Red Queen" book on my Kindle the day it came out.  I'm not sure how I was person #1 on the list, but I'm not knockin' it.

I had a dud last month (boo), but several other rockstars pushed me into March.  I'm also pleased to inform you that at one point I was FOUR books ahead of my Goodreads schedule.  FOUR.  Take that, Goodreads.  Yes, I'm aware the only person that care about this is me.  Let me have my moment.  Onto the reviews, shall we?

Rating scale*:

1/5 - Hated it, didn't finish.
2/5 - Tolerated it on principle to finish, didn't like it.
3/5 - Eh, didn't love it, didn't hate it. Had some good parts/kept me interested/finished it on principle.
3.5/5 - I liked parts of it.
4/5 - I liked the whole thing.
4.5/5 - I liked it a lot, but not sure I'd read it again.
5/5 - I LURVED it and I'd read it again.

*Subject to change based on my mood, the phase of the moon, or other unpredictable variables.

Skimmers, stick with the bold text (TL;DR* parts).
PS. Possible spoilers included in reviews.


Drums of Autumn by Diana Gabaldon    4/5 (audiobook)
Maybe more like a 3.75, but I'll round up because I know I'm going to finish this series at this point.  Obviously I'm hooked, although it very well could be the narrator.  Whatevs.  If Outlander is a series you are interested in and you don't want to read spoilers, move on now.

SPOILERS.

Jamie and Claire are making a life in NC. Bri, of course, is miserable with Mommy and she's tagging poor Roger along. Bri is kind of a bitch if you ask me. The book finally gets going when Roger receives all of Bri's crap and then he realizes she's gone to find Claire and Jamie because NOW she wants to meet her real daddy. Ugh. Of course, Roger follows her instead of calling it like he sees it, that Bri is a royal pain in the ass and let her get herself out of whatever mess she makes he's done with her shit. That would have made the book significantly shorter.

So they both travel back in time and Bri gets irrationally pissed off at Roger for finding her and now she's stuck in the 1700s and it's HIS fault. Totally makes sense. They have an argument that I didn't quite understand, Bri leaves Roger to find Jamie and we don't hear from Roger for a while. Lizzy misunderstands Bri, the queen of unspoken feelings, and we know that shit will eventually hit the fan.

Jamie loves his spawn, which is good since she looks just like him, which we hear almost as much as Claire checking pulses in books 1 and 2. Life on the range is chugging along nicely and then a strange man shows up who has raped Bri, who we just discovered is glowing from pregnancy not her wholesome life with her mom and real dad. Oops.

A whole ball of complicated is thrown in when Stephen Bonnet is a rapist and omg wtf is happening and she got Claire's gold ring back, blah blah blah. What a martyr. Doesn't matter because Jamie has already beat the life out of Roger and we don't hear about him for another long period. Eventually it all comes out in the wash and we all remember our communication skills and Jamie admits to selling a strange man that matches Bri's description of Roger to the Indians. Oops.

Bri is sent to River Run, which no one seems to like despite Granny taking care of everyone. Lord John (the best character of the entire series) shows up and saves the day. All the while, Jamie and Claire are out searching for Roger. Sounds convenient to me.

Some Indian shit goes down and poor Wee Ian gets left behind (because we can only have 1 side-kick for Jamie at a time). Roger is rescued but they then desert him in the wilderness because he doesn't know if he loves Bri, blah blah blah. Cool, so glad we got to endure your entire rescue and then we're deserting you.

Bri is retrieved from River Run with no Roger. She had just finished saving Lord John's life, let Stephen Bonnett go free (I'm certain we'll hear of him again, ugh), and had the baby (of which we are given a very visual description, grand).

After going back to Frasier's Ridge, Roger eventually shows up and TENSION because we all lack the communication skills to speak to each other. Eventually Bri and Roger work it out, Roger decides that the baby could be his, he stops calling it "it", and everyone attends the clan gathering and the book FINALLY ends.

TL;DR: Jamie's daughter travels back in time because she misses her mommy and some shit happens and everyone forgets how to effectively communicate.  But Lawd, Davina Porter is music to my ears.


The Last Letter from Your Lover by Jojo Moyes    */5 (ebook)
I always have high expectations for Moyes, which is probably unfair, but she did it to herself.  In Last Letter, Jennifer has an accident and gets amnesia, but it's during the 60's and women are still repressed and she needs to sit down and shut up.  As with Moyes, the timeline is always crucial.  It took me several chapters to realize that the timeline was bouncing and I needed to pay attention.

Essentially, Jennifer gets into a not-affair, affair with a reporter but she can't remember who it is and her husband was a dick about it (ya know, as he was entitled to be) when she's trying to piece together her memories.  Some incorrect assumptions are made and turns out the reporter lived a long life, despite what she had been told.  Fast forward to modern day (another signature Moyes) and Ellie becomes the bane of my existence and she's miserable and just make it stop already.

Ellie manages to find some letters from Reporter to Jenny and manages to hunt down Jenny and figures out that the Reporter is still alive and reunites them.  Not every ending was happy, because Ellie was a twat, Rory was like, "Nahh, I'ma pass."

TL;DR: Women's repression, affairs, and life in the upper class.  Fast forward to modern day millennial who almost loses her job because she's coasting (aka lazy) and then with the help of others she saves her own ass.



Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison   2/5 (ebook)
This is one of those books that you love as as teenager and if you didn't read it as a teenager, all the characters are superficial, whiny, and obnoxiously immature.  I didn't feel like this book was of any substance.  I wanted there to be some drama but it was mostly just "I like this boy, but he has a girlfriend and my nose is big.  My friends are the worst, but I'm going to hang out with them anyways. Woe is me."

Teenage Megan may have liked this, Adult Megan did not.  Also, some of the Brit humor was completely lost on me.  #languagebarrier  I felt very similar to how I felt about the Jessica Darling series when I finished this one.

TL;DR: YA aimed towards the youngest of adults.  Probably an enjoyable read for a preteen who is filled with angst.



The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd   4/5 (ebook)
This was another 3.75 book, but I rounded up.  I wanted something huge to happen, but this book kept plodding along.  I did enjoy the story though.  There were several smaller tensions that took place during the book, but nothing super grandiose.  

This book is set in Charleston in the early 1800s.  This was a treat for me being a "local" because those streets still exist today!  I could just imagine the Grimke family house on the Battery.  Slavery was the primary objective of the book and Kidd did a very good job showcasing the brutality without being grotesque, which it absolutely was.  I appreciated that the book acknowledged that it was become less about slavery and more about women's rights right about the time I made the actualization.  Yet nothing in this book really stood out to me.

I did enjoy the narrators.  Those deep southern accents are like buttah.

TL:DR: Charleston set book about the abolition of slavery and the battle between change and "it's our way of life."



It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover    4.5/5 (audiobook)
There is always a point of innocence that we all have when we are presented with situations and we say what we would do, definitely.  Then, some of us are actually presented with said situation in real life and what we were once so certain about, we are no longer certain because things aren't black and white anymore.

I struggled with Lily because she was so easy to manipulate, I think.  Everything just felt so simple for her.  I couldn't really place my finger on how exactly I felt, but she was a weird character for me.  While Atlas's situation was touched on, there was very little fleshing out of the homelessness situation that could have taken place.  Obviously the domestic abuse was the primary focus point though.

When Lily met Ryle, I struggled with that entire situation.  Part of me was glad they got together, part of me was annoyed.  Then when they got married in Vegas, I was like, really?  It just seemed like a bullshit way to move the storyline.  I did appreciate the author's note at the end which explained that most domestic abuse situations aren't at all like what is projected in the book.  So that was a good kick in the pants back to reality.

TL;DR: A book that discusses difficult topics like domestic abuse, homelessness, mental illness, and ending the cycle.  Also, the use of cuss words at time seemed forced, like the author remembered her characters cussed and she needed to throw in a "fuck" for good measure.





In Progress:

• Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly   */5 (audiobook)  
• King's Cage by Victoria Aveyard    */5 (ebook)

On Deck:

• The Natural Way of Things by Charlotte Wood  */5 (paperback)
• I actually won this book from Goodreads!! Whhhhaaattt?!?!?!?
• Black Cross by Greg Iles   */5 (audiobook)
• The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon  */5 (library)
• Scandalous Women: The Lives and Loves of History's Most Notorious Women by Elizabeth Kerri Mahon   */5

YAY for books!


*TL;DR = too long, don't read

Five on Friday #102

EINS

Wedding Updates:

The 40% off coupon code for our invites expired on Tuesday so Monday night we sat down and hammered out the details on those bad boys.  Yesterday I got back the digital proofs and my brain almost exploded.  They were a disaster.  DISASTER.

I had asked for the color to be changed which was done, except that instead of making it look similar to the template designs, there was no ombre coloring at all, just grey navy grey and it looked like hot fucking garbage.  Then I went to the back..

So let me just back up for a second and explain that I have this thing about fonts.  I've mentioned it before, but it's worth mentioning again that I have a thing about fonts.  I lurve them.  I spent HOURS just working on the fonts for these invites and going through my options and finally selecting ones that I liked.

Most of my fonts were gone.  GONE.  I went from a pipe bomb in my brain to an atomic bomb.  I was on the phone with the company within a few minutes asking to speak directly to my designer.  I was told that the designer would call me back within the hour.  Perfecttttttt.

After speaking to the designer, who turned out to be a very nice lady named Emily who probably only thought I was kinda crazy, we had undone ALL her changes and she sent a new proof out with some different colors and my original fonts..

Because of work, I couldn't go through the proofs until later in the evening, but last night I sent another list of tasks that I know I could do myself very easily.  But it's fiiiiiinnneeeeeee.. It will be fineeeee..  I will try to curb my inner control freak.

We had our engagement photos on Wednesday afternoon.  While I know they will be gorgeous shots, I don't think I voiced my desires well and we didn't really get any casual, non-posted shots, nor did we get any ring shots or close-up shots (that I know of).  We only stood in 3-4 different poses because I was kind of expecting some guidance on how to stand, but that never came.  Again, communication failure on my part.  I'll be discussing these things with the photographer after we get our proofs back and/or having Roux's Humom on standby for the wedding so she boss us around on how to stand and be the most cheesy and cutesy.

Megan + Timo • • • • #wedding #weddings #weddingday #weddingdress #weddingplanner #instawedding #engagement #travel #resourcemag #resourceweddings #engaged #weddingphotography #instagood #instalike #kiss #love #landscape #sunset #bride #groom #couple #nikon #nikontop #charleston #southcarolina #dress #followme #bridebook #weddingcertified #profoto

A post shared by Nicholas Gore (@nicholasgoreweddings) on Mar 8, 2017 at 7:29pm PST

ZWEI

I mentioned on Wednesday that Phil isn't doing so well and he's drinking gallons or liters (whatever unit you prefer) of water, all at once and he having accidents in the house, which is completely unlike my tank of a dog.

The vet called yesterday with the results of Phil's bloodwork and she's not sure what is going on.  It's not a UTI and it's not kidney issues.  There are some alarming levels in his blood panel though, so she prescribed a cycle of doxycycline (Doxy) which I picked up yesterday on my way to the gym.  The vet suggested it could possibly be a tick-born illness (TBI), since those can be dormant in the system and then appear when the body is stressed (like that whole not using his leg situation last month).  But neither of us feel that a TBI is the actual solution this time.  Or at least she didn't sound confident about it when she suggested it.  It also didn't bode well that she said she'd prescribe him the Doxy if I wanted him to go on it, to which, of course, I said, "When can I pick it up? Today?"

I posted his bloodwork results on both GEGR and SHUG pages to see if my sighthound peeps could help in anyway.  SHUG Director messaged me this morning asking for Phil's racing name and said that she'd sent his blood panels to someone that knows about greyhound lineage and history.  The response was this, "do a sonogram to rule out hemangiosarcoma in the abdomen. She's seen them in the retroperitoneal region. They run in his family."  

I'm trying not to freak the fuck out over the word "sarcoma" (aka the C word), but my feeling is NOT good about this whole situation and that is what has me on edge.  Let's just all cross our fingers that the Doxy is the magic cure and my Baggins is back to normal ASAP.. because dammit, I am NOT ready and I told Phil I would be ready whenever he told and I'm worried that he's telling me and I'm not getting the message.

I brought up the subject of Phil over dinner Wednesday night with Teh German, because I'm not excited about the potential to lose Phil, I need Teh German to be prepared in case the worst does happen and he didn't want to talk about it.  Later he admitted that he almost teared up sitting there and he didn't like being sad in public.  I promised that from now on, we'd discuss the sad stuff at home and that we can cry together, anytime.

Tears and cheesy bread, it's what's for dinner.

DREI

And top all that mess... while we were doing engagement photos, I was a fucking moron and stubborn and opted not to carry my flip flops with me while we were walking around downtown.  I was wearing my super awesome red heels, so I spent over an hour walking around downtown in heels with my gimp hip.

Thursday morning was spent in a state of agony until I finally just gave up and took a tramadol.  My hip pain radiated down the front of my thigh yesterday and this morning it's radiating back into my butt.  It's a real delight.

PLUSSSSS, I am sporting 2 super awesome blisters on both pinky toes.

Hot mess express, comin' through!

Because I'm glutton for punishment, I still went to the gym yesterday afternoon, but we didn't do any cardio, only core and arms.  Well kinda, after we got home, we went on a neighborhood pack walk.  A few neighbors from street (the most awesome street in the neighborhood we've decided) with Phil, Meri, Roux, Marcie, and Max.  It was awesome and I'd totally do it again.

PS.  Tramadol is magical and gave me the ability to walk like a normal person instead of like a troll under a bridge.  It also made me moderately stupid and fuzzy around the edges and my workout was garbage and trying to work in the afternoon was a disaster because I had no idea what I had and hadn't done. 

PPS.  My ortho consult has been scheduled for 2 weeks and it's been a very long 2 weeks.  The appointment is on Monday morning and I'm hoping that we can figure out this issue in the very near future, but maybe the beginning of April because at least then I can walk the Bridge Run (ugh).

VIER

From the internet:

Disney jokes/puns/facts are my jam.  Unless they are about The Princess and the Frog, which I still haven't seen.

This is me in real life (also about Disney).

Runners/walkers/outside activity persons, have you seen this?  I wantssss ittttt.. Except that I can't run, but that's NBD, right?

In case you were thinking that women always had rights.  You're wrong.

From the phone:

Phil: Well, that was fun.  Let's go home.
Me: Phil, we just got here.
Phil: Do not currrrr.
Me: Siiiiigh.

Silly faces before the shoot.

Roux's Humom suggested that we have Nick take a picture of us taking a selfie.
Of course I needed to actually take the selfie.

FÜNF

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. Tramadol.
2. Dressing up and wearing my red heels.
3. D'Al's pizza.  Glorious, glorious carbs.
4. Shapewear.  Me to Teh German: I went from feeling like a whale, to only feeling like baby whale!"
5. Kohl's coupons and sales.  I paid $50 for my shapewear (originally $59) and 10 pairs of underwear (which I hadn't purchased in a while).  I saved $85.  #likeaboss
6. Potentially cutting the sugar out of my tea in the mornings at work.
7. Tasking at work, even if it's all at once.
8. Progress on the invitation front and having German and English invites.
9. Weekend plans for a street outing (I should stop refering to it as the neighborhood since it's really only our street) for St. Patrick's Day and having a DD and brunch with Twin Mom on Sunday.
10. Kisses from Teh German.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

MegMo2017: Deets: Noms

Reception Meal

I spent about a day researching caterers around Charleston.  Prices varied greatly.  I even considered the company who catered Company's holiday party.  I was excited about getting to pick a caterer.  We could go sample delicious food!  We love food.

But then I got overwhelmed (not surprising).  How do we possibly decide what meals to have for everyone from such a huge menu?  I knew I didn't want whatever we picked to be super expensive, which eliminated most of the options.  We had discussed it and we both envisioned a buffet style eating situation (saving time and money on wait staff).  While a sit down dinner is nice, it was just too formal for us.

Teh German and I bounced ideas back and forth about food.  I knew I wanted something easy to eat that I wasn't likely to wear (it's a huge probability every time I eat that I will wear my food).  I just can't imagine having something you need to eat with your hands while I'm dressed in something that cost hundreds of dollars.  But Teh German was listing off comfort foods as his preferred picks for the meal, mac and cheese, baked beans, etc.

Later that week, while we were walking the dogs, I jokingly suggested we have Willie Jewell's cater for the wedding.  I figured that Teh German would turn down this idea for being too casual, but he said that it was a good idea.  WIN!

The only downside is no tasting, but we already know it's good.

When I checked their online catering menu, sausage wasn't part of the package.  This is a big deal since Teh German always orders the sausage platter (with mac and cheese and baked beans) when we go to Willie Jewell's.  After speaking with them, I learned that substituting sausage for chicken/etc probably wouldn't be an issue.  Perfect.

Most important about our decision to serve Willie Jewell's is that the price per person is significantly lower than if we had went with a large catering company.  I asked Teh German if he thought that serving bbq was cheap and he said no.  He'd had food from weddings that was completely unremarkable and it was probably super expensive.  Willie Jewell's is something we know that almost everyone will love (not my problem if someone doesn't) and the fact that it's cheap is a coincidence and convenience.  Additionally, pulled pork is a novelty for some Germans, so that's a fun detail.  Most importantly, Willie Jewell's BBQ is our favorite bbq in Charleston.

Decision made.

Cake

Teh WJL actually offered to make our cake, but I explained that whole "we want our friends to be guests, not workers" thing.  The coordinator had some suggestions which were helpful.  I wasn't big on the idea of cake (I don't need to freeze it and eat it a year later), but Teh German said we needed a cake.  The coordinator suggested a cake for cutting and then cupcakes, which are easier.

If you logic it out, cupcakes are a win.  You can pick it up from the table and eat it one handed (hopefully) and you shouldn't even have to sit your drink down.  Whereas a piece of cake comes on a plate, with a fork, and eating it requires setting your drink down.  Human behavior analysis is cool if you ask me.  After Teh German heard this, he agreed.

The coordinator had a cake vendor suggestion, but after making most of the big decisions, I wasn't in a hurry to plan the minor details.  She also suggested Publix since they do wedding cakes and cupcakes.  Publix was a completely valid, not cheap, suggestion because I lurve Publix cakes.  In fact, we had Publix cupcakes on my birthday.  I wasn't sure though.

Later, Roux's Humom suggested one of our neighbors make our cake/cupcakes since she runs a side business as a baker.  I've actually had her cupcakes before at their Halloween party (chocolate and caramel?) and then later when we watched a UFC fight at their house (peanut butter and jelly).  I remember how delicious they were. Eventually, I bit the bullet and asked her if she wanted to make cupcakes for our wedding.  She was thrilled and said yes.  She did give me some homework to find some flavors that we like.  She said she's willing to do anything as weird as we want, she had even once done chicken and waffle cupcakes which turned out well.

Tasked, I set to Pinterest.  Flavors I found that I think might be good: strawberry shortcake, lemon, almond amaretto, funfetti (ode to GTMO time), peanut butter and jelly (ode to 2nd grade Megan), raspberry lemon, chocolate, smores (ode to Megan the Smores Master), hot chocolate, peanut butter smores, chocolate cherry, peppermint, pineapple upside down cake, banana pudding, strawberry lemonade, lemon blueberry, Dr. Pepper, Oreo, cannoli.

Obviously, we'd never have this many flavors since that's too many to choose from, but I plan on narrowing down the list with Teh German.  I'm hoping that if I give our neighbor a list of options she'll whip some up and let us try them and then submit her coworkers to any remaining test cupcakes.

Other Food Related Things

Rehearsal Dinner

We haven't decided on a location for a rehearsal dinner.  We're planning on it being more like an everyone go out and pay for themselves type of situation.  For me the rehearsal dinner is more about our immediate families getting to hang out together and stumble through the language barrier.

Assuming that the Hall will not be booked the day before our wedding (yay for weekdays/Halloween/public property!), we plan to have a rehearsal at the Hall, then relocate to a restaurant for a meal.  Since most everyone involved will be traveling to CHS, we don't necessarily have to have the rehearsal in the evening, which is convenient. 

Post-Wedding Brunch

Teh German and I are planning on getting a hotel room for the night of the wedding so we don't have to make the trek all the way back home (35 minutes away, far, I know).  I've heard of post-wedding brunches before and I like the idea of a laid back, less formal event for our families.  I have no idea where we'd go for this, but there is no shortage of options in Charleston.

Do not worry, the dogs will be taken care of the night of.  Teh Running Bestie has already said she will go home and take care of the dogs for us.

Confessions {3/8}

-I absolutely loathe microwaves that don't stop beeping when I open the door.  Seriously.  I'm here.  STFU already.  #shhhbequiet

-I had to snail mail 3 different things last week and it felt like 1999 in my brain.  Snail mail because I had to write checks.. Ugh.  #EnvelopesandStampsOhMy

-I finally emailed the DJ last week about how I'm in a place with her and I'm not sure if our trade is going to work out because she's so flaky (essentially).  #thetruthhurts

-The DJ was way more happy with the website than I anticipated she would be.  I'm taking it as me being an excellent judge of character.

-You might be OLD AF when you get excited about the St. Jude return address labels that arrive in the mail.  #oldlady

-One of the best parts of arriving to work almost an hour before everyone else: I can fart and not having to worry about anyone hearing it or smelling it.  #win

-Things I'll do: wear a long skirt and then put my space heater between my legs.  #notsorry

-I got sidetracked and didn't celebrate Meri's gotcha day on Tuesday.  #3yearrelationship  #lifehappens

-I took Phil to the vet because he's been drinking A LOT and peeing even more and in my house and it's been happening since he was on the meds for his leg injury and even in his crate (which came back out so he doesn't piss everywhere).  It was when he peed in his crate that I knew something was actually wrong and it wasn't just Phil being a dick.  I'm hoping it's just a UTI, but the vet is concerned about kidney failure and I'm just not ready.  They sent off for blood work, so hopefully that will come back with answers ASAP.  #seniordogproblems  #ProbablyShouldHaveSignedUpForThatPetInsurance

-Season 2 of Parks and Rec is already better than season 1. 

-Our engagement photos are today and I feel like I am bloated and I'm wearing a tight-ish dress so I'm totally going to tell the photographer to edit out any food babies he might see, as well as the horrible acne spots that just keep gracing me with their presence.  #adultacneisstupid

-I admitted to Teh German that if I ever had any kind of cosmetic body surgery, it would be a tummy tuck.  Part of me feels guilty about this, but part of me doesn't because I do make the effort to go the gym and I try to eat moderately healthy.  #itsaboutmyconfidence

-After I typed that I went and googled images of "tummy tuck".  Yep, I'd still do it.  Then I realized that shapewear (Spanx, etc.) could be a perfect solution to my problem today.  Guess who is going home to dig that 30% off Kohl's coupon out of the garbage?  #thisgirl  Just kidding, I found the coupon on my phone.  #fixedit

-I won't lie, I have been chugging Tazo Detox tea and it's actually growing on me.  #skinnyinaday #Iwish  Nonetheless, I am pumped to try the chocolate chai I picked up at the same time.  #priorities


-Now that Bagheera is fixed, I'm paranoid that she will fall over again.  I rode into work this morning and Teh German "reminded" me to "park carefully."  I glared at him.  #killerglare

-Songs with same titles make me confused and sometimes sad.  I expect one thing and get another.  Booo.  #dashedhopes

Weekend Review {3/6}

FRIDAY

Since I knew I had a 1:30-2:30 meeting, I decided to sleep in.  This was a poor life choice because I didn't really get much extra sleep since I was awake the entire time Teh German was getting ready.  Then I didn't want to get up when my alarm went off.  Ugh.

Meri snuggles and kisses.

I was halfway to work when I was stopped by some horrendous traffic and checked Googly Maps to find out that the rest of my way to work was going to be horrific, so I turned around and headed back home to telework.

Roux's Humom talked me into a trip to the dog park with the beasts after my meeting and before I got into anything, I said yes.  It was a good idea since I knew we wouldn't be home in the evening and the dogs would be in their crates.  Had I went to work, this would have bothered me more, but since I didn't go to work, I wasn't feeling as bad, but tired dogs are good dogs, so it was for the best.

Phil and Roux.

I got some tasking while we were at the dog park, which was an end to our vitamin D session.  Nonetheless, Phil had enough time to mark almost everything at the dog park and Meri petrified me a few times when she noticed squirrels in the woods at the fence line.  Since there is only a 4 foot fence, I was super concerned she would easily spring over the fence and chase the squirrel.  We eventualy headed home and took care of some work.  After it was done, I had lunch and chatted with Teh Sister for a bit.  Eventually, I finally finished drafting my Friday post and published it.

Teh German came home and we fed the beasts and headed to dinner at Community Pizza House (which I hadn't been to, but Teh German had) with Roux's Humom and Mr. Golfer.  Community Pizza House might be my new favorite not-D'Al's pizza place for their pizza with an egg on it (and potatoes and bacon and mushrooms).  Sorry no pics because I was absolutely starving from making the poor life choice to have a tomato sandwich for lunch instead of my alfredo leftovers.  After carb loading, we headed to the performing arts center to see Ron White.

Mr. Golfer was in a rush so they left before we did so Teh German could finish his beer.  Being the best fiance' I am, I assisted Teh German in acquiring yet another pint glass that we didn't need because he liked it.  We headed to our parking spot and made it to the security line.  A few minutes later Mr. Golfer and Roux's Humom joined us in line.  I may or may not have gotten some joy from us getting in line first after Mr. Golfer had been so impatient to leave.  We made it through the security line and found our seats.

I had questioned my decision to get tickets in the center of the section for Goo Goo Dolls, but after seeing Ron White from the end of a row, I know without a doubt that I made a solid life choice.

Vic Somebody was a solid opening act, although some of his jokes didn't work well on the red-state crowd he was in front of.  On the other hand, I was probably the only one cackling at some of those Trump jokes.  Ok, maybe me and Teh German and like 2 other people.  I looked around for anyone in the audience that wasn't white and didn't find anyone.  So, ya know.. that.

Ron White was excellent.  He did kick a dude out of the show because he wouldn't STFU.  We couldn't hear the guy since he was close to the front, but apparently he showed Ron his VIP badge and Ron was like, "You think you're special because you're a VIP?  I don't give a fuck.  One more word out of you and you're gone."  The guy apparently tried to hold his tongue because he lasted for another 10 minutes before security came and took him away.  I completely missed whatever the sign was to remove someone because security appeared out of no where to pull this guy from the audience.  By sign I mean like, bands will signal to the audio control people that they need their ear pieces to be louder or point to an instrument to hear it specifically louder with a hand gesture that isn't overly obvious (unless you're me and you're lookin' for shit like that).

Too bad for the guy though because the show ended 10 minutes later.  There were 3 plugs for the tequila he was drinking, ugh.  I sometimes wonder if he gets tired of drinking and smoking on stage.  He mostly didn't smoke the cigar and he nursed his tequila.  I personally would have just put some other liquid in the bottle.

After the show ended, we headed home since Mr. Golfer and Roux's Humom had gotten VIP passes.  Once we got home, it was bed prep and bedtime.

While we were at the show, I won my first ever Ebay auction.  I paid $31+$4 shipping for Seasons 1-7 of Modern Family.  I was afraid that the other bidder was playing the same game as me and waiting until the last 5 minutes of the auction to raise the bid, but I was the highest bidder for the last 4 hours.  I did have an alarm set for 8:55 to check and make sure that I was the highest bidder.  I monitored the auction for the last 5 minutes, kinda half listening to Ron White.  Teh German was pumped that I had won and I was mentally patting myself on the back for only paying $5 per season of Modern Family.  #thrifty

SATURDAY

I asked Teh German before we got out of bed what goals he wanted to accomplish and he listed off several things.  We were out of the bed by 9.  The laundry fairy finally returned to her duties.  9 loads of laundry.  Ugh.  I finally made it downstairs and Teh German had warmed up leftovers for breakfast.  After breakfast, I presented him with a copy of our invitation wording for him to translate into German so I could make some progress on that front.

He headed to the garage to do his thang and I headed to the office.  I started working on the invitations (there's a 40% code from the website that offers our overpriced invites that ends on 3/7, so the fire under my ass is lit) then got sidetracked working on the wedding website.

So what had happened was... on the invites, I'm putting something about entertainment options on the invites, so I had to create a whole new page with entertainment options.  #firstworldproblems  Then, I got derailed for an hour and a half trying to make a dashed outline around an image in Photoshop, only to eventually learn that CS5, and essentially any version of Photoshop that isn't the pay per month subscription that Adobe currently offers, doesn't have a dashed outline option.  There were some alternative ways to do it, but none of them were working for me and I finally just gave up.  No one really cares but me that the images aren't the same as all the others.

While I'm working on all this, I'm also listening to my last challenge book and doing laundry.  The laundry fairy has a name.  It's Megan.  Cutest laundry fairy you ever did see.  Especially braless, since all my bras were in the laundry.  It was a solid reason for not leaving the house and an excuse to wear a hoodie all day.  #notsorry  I also did a few smaller tasks like cleaning the stove top with the actual cleaner (instead of a clorox wipe), change our sheets, learning how to fully use my carpet cleaner (like the hose attachment) to clean the carpet where Phil peed (I couldn't let him out because Teh German had the gate open and the idea of taking him out on a leash didn't even cross my mind), and organizing Teh German's shit show side of the closet where he just tosses shit on the shelf because it fell on me and I was kinda ragey.

All the while, Teh German is in the garage.  He accomplished: fixing Bagheera!!!!  He even "made" me go on a ride around the neighborhood (yep, I did this braless and in a hoodie and it was my first time riding without a helmet).  He also switched out the big grill for the smaller grill outside.  Fixed the situation with Suzi's brakes (which he informed me had been an issue for almost a year and I wanted to box his ears).  Figured out the hitch situation on Baloo.  Went to Walmart (which included picking up some items for me which is always complicated).  Completely rewired the lights on the trailer.. all the while not getting frustrated or making any German noises that run me off!  I am still super proud of all that he accomplished.

When he came inside, we had bbq pork for dinner and then we were mostly lazy.  I worked a little more on the invitation stuffs and printed out the wording for them so we can both give them a review before I place the order.  We showered before bed and then crashed around 11:30.

SUNDAY

We got a slow start on Sunday morning.  I got up and fed the dogs and stayed up to pitter around the internets.  I had agreed to go on a ride with the Biker Gang since they would ride out to Holy City and we'd have brunch.  Teh German suggested we have a light breakfast so we munched on leftovers the neighbor had brought over on Saturday night.  My favorite surprise was the cake that he brought wasn't vanilla, it was lemon, which is my favooooorrrriiiittteeeeeee.  So many foodgasm noises.  Teh German didn't even blink an eye at me.  He's a keeper.

We were set to meet the Biker Gang between 11-1130, which we learned really meant 1130.  We waited around, soaking ourselves in Mother Nature's tree jizz.

There was an issue with someone's bike not starting and after his battery was jump started, we were on our way.  After waiting for an hour, I was ready to ride.

Since Teh German had (smartly) suggested we eat a light breakfast, we weren't super hungry when we got to Holy City.  Teh German agreed to share a poutine with me.  #Yaaaaasss  I'm so glad America is learning about poutine because that shit is delicious.

After an hour and a half, I was ready to go.  We said bye to the gang and headed to our bikes, where we discovered that Teh German's bike wouldn't start.  FML. After some attempts to start the bike by getting it going while rolling, we finally acquired the tools to get his seat off (yay for the tool kit in Bagheera and a biker not with the gang who had the tools we needed) and used the jumper cables the other guy had brought in case his bike needed to be jumped again.

We managed to get Teh German's bike started, but while he was returning the borrowed tools, Suzi died and refused to restart.  Then we had some drama about Teh German not riding bitch on my bike and ME not riding bitch on my own bike.  I had asked the other GF that had shown up in her car if she would give Teh German a ride to our house but she refused to acknowledge I had even asked her the question.

It was complicated because I wanted to ride Bagheera, but knew that meant going home and getting the truck and hooking up the hitch and trailer on my own and I knew that would take me double the time that it would take Teh German.  Also, I really don't want passengers on my bike.  I just don't want the responsibility of someone else's life.  Eventually, I relented, disappointed, and told Teh German just to take Bagheera and come back with the truck.  The Biker Gang stayed with me, despite my being shitty company.  I sat on my own and sent disgruntled text messages and read some of my book (hooray for the Kindle app!).  I did nod off a few times, emotions are draining.

Eventually, Teh German came back and we got Suzi loaded and strapped down.  How fortunate that Teh German had fixed the hitch and trailer the day before.  Then we headed home with Suzi in tow.  Womp, womp.

Once we got home, Laundry Fairy duties resumed (which was my original motivation for leaving Holy City).  I also checked to see if the dryer vent was clogged since it was taking 2-3 cycles to dry the loads, which resulted in me cutting my hand and getting frustrated because I couldn't get the vent back on the pipe and Teh German had to fix it for me.

I helped Teh German roll Suzi off the trailer and then headed to the backyard to scoop poops.  I'm really trying to get better about doing this at least once a week.  It had been chilly all weekend, which makes scooping poop easy.  Phil made sure to drop a hot one for me after I was finished.  He's a real gem.

I talked Teh German into starting Parks and Recreation.  We're about 4 episodes in and don't really love it.  I can see the similarities between Parks and Rec and The Office and I know it took me a full season of The Office to actually get into the show, so I'm trying to persevere.  At some point in the last 10-15 years, my copies of Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Ron White's standups disappeared from my possession. I ordered new copies, but in the meantime, I wanted something to watch, so Parks and Rec it was.

We took a break to eat leftovers for dinner and then went back to the couch after we had cleaned up.  I did break the lemon cake out again and shared with Teh German who commented how good the cake was.  He was expecting something different and he liked the sweet, yet not overly sweetness of the cake.  I, of course, was making foodgasm noises the entire time.  #notsorry

We spent the rest of the night watching Parks and Rec and messing around on our electronic devices.

___________________________________

Overall a great weekend, despite the obvious disappointment with Suzi.  Teh German was super pissed, as expected, and was talking about buying a new bike.  When he showed up with the truck, we both apologized to each other for being frustrated with each other and we explained that we were both just disappointed at the circumstances (him - his bike being broken and having put a lot of money into it and he had spent all day on Saturday getting everything ready for an NC ride; me - I had wanted to ride and I had barely gotten to do so).

I did get our invitations mostly complete.  I didn't harass Teh German about them on Sunday night because I knew he probably wasn't in the mood to deal with grammar.  My goal for this evening is to rework any wording and then submit the order tonight.  I have a meeting with the DJ today at lunch time after I sent a meltdown email last week explaining that I was having some doubts about our situation (mostly that she had failed to set up a meeting with me and dammit I will NOT have vendor problems when it comes to wedding things).  I'm going to show her the website I built for her, she's going to introduce me to her information packet.  My type-a planner problem will be soothed and hopefully my brain will STFU.

This week includes: Ordering invitations (we still have to wait on the samples and approve them before they are actually printed, so don't get your hopes up about a quick turn around), Meri's Gotcha Day is Tuesday which means extra dog treats and a new mouse (like she gets every celebration day, she's a girl after my own heart with her simple pleasures), and our engagement photos are on Wednesday (please sent positive thoughts that Teh German will not have a melt down because of "unfamiliarity" like he tends to do and that I won't melt and we will look delightful in our photos).  Thursday and Friday are currently open, but I know how that usually works out.  Saturday is the St. Patrick's Festival thing in Park Circle, which Teh German got absolutely wasted at last year.  I don't drink beer, so maybe I should just bring a flask and find a DD for the both of us?  #Responsibilityblows  Sunday is Sommerzeit (summer time) as I was informed it is called in Germany.  It was a definite language barrier and Teh German explained that it's the same as "Daylight Savings Time".  I now prefer Sommerzeit, even if I will still refer to it as spring ahead time.

Fuck, they are so cute it melts my Elsa heart.

Five on Friday #101

EINS

We're going to see Ron White tonight.  We'll be seeing Blink-182 in April.  I seriously hope no good acts come to Charleston this summer so I don't have to make the decision to spend money on tickets or not.  Because I know I will spend the money.. and really, we need to be allocating wedding dollars to the wedding fund. 

I did pay off my credit card so now I've officially paid off my dress.  So far we've spent $4500 on the wedding.  $500 of that we will get back from the venue deposit if we don't burn the place down.  We need to finish paying off the photographer ($1500), order the catering (~$1000), buy Teh German's clothes, and decorations and whatever else is left.

ZWEI

I've been shopping like crazy.  I'm not really sure why.  Mostly it is things that we need, with the exception of the mugs and dresses.  Vacuum filters for Roomy and the Shark (the ones we have are years old and kinda gnarly, despite gentle care), multi-vitamins, dog pills...

I also did add some items to our registry.  I'm struggling with the white plates.  I don't love white plates.  I get that you can add color to the table with serving bowls and napkins or other adult bullshit, but let's just be honest.  We use paper napkins because I'm not that classy and serving bowls are rubbermaid containers because Teh German doesn't like it when I dirty every dish in the house and I'm going to put leftovers in those containers anyways.  Obviously there are exceptions to this if it's a special event (company/holiday), but for the most part, this is the norm.  White plates are boring to me.  Even with a fancy pattern on the edges.  White is boring.  I'm resisting the Fiesta dinnerware set because most people I know either have white or Fiesta dinnerware.  Not that I'm a unicorn, butttt I'm a damn unicorn.

DREI

I've been a reading fiend.  Finishing up Outlander 4 really helped.  I powered through It Ends With Us in 3 days.  Since I was untasked at work, I even spent time at work listening to it, which is quite rare.  I lurved it.  I've had some super awesome books this past month and I should really work on drafting my Show Us Your Books post.. and/or go visit the linkup and get some suggestions for other books.

King's Cage came out on March 1st and that was automatically checked out to me from the library (#notsorry) and I used and Audible credit for my last Challenge book because I had been #1 on the list at the library for approximately 1 mabillionty years (aka at least one month) and I was tired of freakin' waiting.  I'm loving the Southern narration and I've already warned Teh German that I might start talking like a genteel lady from the 1800s soon.  At least I warned him, but seriously, I've caught myself thinking in the accent after listening sessions, and I have to correct myself before I speak outloud not to use the accent.

VIER

My political read for the week that was't my daily Skimm email.


From the phone:

Sent this gem to Teh German.
At first he thought I was disappointed this was what he had left me for lunch...
then I told him to really LOOK at the contents of the photo.
If you don't get it: a broken wiener and meatballs.
Fitting from Teh Ville.

Our laundry fairy went on strike or vacation or something.
I'm accepting visits from other laundry fairies in the meantime.
Someone please save me from this madness.

Made homemade alfredo for dinner last night.
Leftovers were not a disappointment for lunch.

FÜNF

10 things that made me happy this week:

1. 40% off coupon code for our invitations that doesn't expire for a few days so I don't have to rush to design them.
2. Messages from Papa G letting me know the save the dates had arrived and he had put them in the post to be delivered to the German addressees.
3. "You are 3 books ahead of schedule." 
4. Potentially paying less than $40 for seasons 1-7 of Modern Family.  Thanks Ebay.
5. Sweatshirt and jeans weather on Fridays.
6. Bagheera's replacement part arriving early and Teh German potentially having her fixed this weekend.
7. The idea to get a uterus and penis OR an ovary and a testicle from I Heart Guts and putting them with the 2 dog stickers I have on Yurtle to complete our "stick family"...
8. Meri's haircut.
9. Spontaneous dinners with neighbors.
10. Seeing spring's growth in the Haunted Mansion flower bed.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

MegMo2017: Deets: Photographer

Before we started the wedding planning process, a weird thing happened.  We had went out to dinner downtown with Aunt P and our other German guest and before we went home, we went by the Pineapple Fountain.  I posted a slowmo video on Instagram of the fountain in action.  None of that is significant, except that as I was reviewing my notifications, someone with the account NicholasGoreWeddings had liked my video.  Strange, but I happened to be in the market for a wedding photographer!

I clicked on his Insta and was immediately smitten.  Then I checked his website for prices and was still smitten, but completely horrified.  His all day package was just shy of $5000.  Remember when Teh German told me that I was in charge of photography because it was my thing?  Yeah, so.  I wanted this guy, but I knew that $5k was out of our budget.  When I mentioned it to Teh German he just said no.  He didn't even bother to glare at me to suggest I was being unreasonable.  He just shut me down.  I was crushed, but I knew he was right and $5k was half our budget and I needed to get it together.

Still being unrealistic (and we hadn't found our venue yet), I penciled in $4000 as our photography budget.  Yes, this number seems exuberant, but I also know that the day after the wedding we'll be left with outfits we might not wear again, possible hangovers, departing family and friends, hopefully some leftovers, and memories.  Photography would be the documentation of the day that we'd never be able to do over again.  Thus why it was my number one priority.  I explained this to Teh German so he could understand why I'd put so much money towards one thing when we had so much to pay for.  He wasn't pleased about it, I could tell, but he knew that I wasn't going into it blindly.

I started researching other Charleston wedding photographers, which are not rare.  There were quite a few out of our price range, which were easy eliminations.  There were quite a few that I didn't like their style, more easy eliminations.  I was left with a handful of options and started sending out emails inquiring about pricing for all day packages (to easily compare).  We met with one of the most popular Charleston wedding photographers even.  We walked out knowing that we wouldn't use them because they were beyond my $4k price range for a basic package.

A few more days of researching and eliminations and I'd found Melissa Miley Photography.  She was my new #1 choice.  A FB who is local to Charleston said they had used her for an event and loved her.  I was sold.  Her prices were reasonable.  I discussed it with Teh German and explained her pricing and what she offered and he gave me the ok.

The next day at work, I was still responding to vendor emails and hadn't gotten a chance to email her yet when Nick Gore emailed me and asked if I had anymore questions or anything he could help me with.  Ever Miss Manners, I responded and said that his price ranges were out of our budget and we'd be going with another photographer.

A little bit later, I received a response from him asking what our budget was and that since the wedding was on a weekday, he'd be willing to do a discount.  I emailed him back and told him that our budget was $2500.  Truthfully, I didn't want to pay more than $3k on photography at the end of the day, so I wanted to go low, but I also knew I couldn't low-ball him because we both knew he was good.  He responded almost immediately and said he could do an 8 hour package, 2 shooters, and an engagement session for $2500.

I almost lost my mind right then.  I immediately texted Teh German to let him know that my original #1 was willing to come down in price.  When I explained everything to him, he told me to go for it.  I emailed Nick back and clarified what we'd get and for the exact price.  He confirmed those were the details and I said yes.

I was over the freakin' moon.

A few days later Melissa called me to follow up on a phone conversation we had earlier in the week and I had to break the news that we were going with someone different, which was depressing for both of us.  We had hit it off on our original phone call.

And that is the roller coaster ride of selecting our photographer.

After getting tired of sending emails back and forth with Nick, I finally suggested we set up a meeting.  Our email thread was no less than 20 emails long and I was just annoyed.  I wanted to meet this person already.  We scheduled an appointment for a Friday afternoon at a super swanky bar downtown that I had never heard of.

I arrived right on time and looked around to find no one that even kinda looked like Nick.  I took a seat at the bar and waited... and waited.. and waited.  After 15 minutes of waiting, I called him and left a voicemail.  After the voicemail I texted since I know some people prefer texts over talking.  He called back within a few minutes.  Apparently, our appointment had gotten deleted off his calendar and he could be there in 15 minutes.  I debated saying I needed to leave, but it wasn't true and I knew I was just being a bitch, so I said I'd wait.

I ranted to Roux's Humom about the situation, ordered a Pimm's Punch, and opened up a book on my phone.  I drank the beverage fast enough that I was feeling pretty punchy by the time he arrived.  Oh yeah, I had eaten a pack of peanut butter crackers for lunch.  Oops.

He was very apologetic and embarrassed about the entire situation, so that helped reassure me that it wasn't something intentional because of our reduced rate.  We chatted for a while and went ahead and scheduled an engagement shoot.  I was pleased when the meeting was over that our photographer was someone that I'd want to be friends with in real life (also I may have stalked him on social media, but whatevs).


Now let's just hope that he gets such fantastic pics of us that we will become one of his featured couples! 

Confessions {3/1}

-Life Lesson: Wearing close-toe heels while your toenail is growing back doesn't feel pleasant.  The skin that will eventually be covered by the nail is currently under pressure and holy moly, I do not like it.  I've also accidentally stubbed it on things and it makes me want to cry.

-I've been getting a lot of race (running) emails and they are all making me depressed.  I haven't ran since the beginning on January due to my hip issue and it's bringing me down.  Running defined me for a very long time and now I don't feel like I belong to that club anymore and it's hard.  These races encourage me to get back out there, but I can't because my hip.  It's a serious catch-22.

-Add to that, the Bridge Run is coming and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to actually run it and my heart hurts just thinking about walking it.

-I have an appointment set up for an Ortho consult.  It's been 2 months of LLD (light, limited duty) and it's time to start figuring out the problem since it's not getting better.  Did you hear that?  Oh that was the sound of my checking account draining when the bills start rolling in.  #ouchithurts

-I forgot to tell you!!!  I actually WON a Goodreads book giveaway!!!!  I'm so pumped.  I received a copy of The Natural Way of Things and as soon as I finish Erin's Challenge, I'll be working on it.  It's been a long time since I've picked up a brand new, unopened book!

-As I'm not the one who does the dishes, I don't often clean the sink because I just assume that Teh German is.  HAHAHAHHA.  Yesterday, I noticed that our faucet head was growing gunk.  It was disgusting.  I'm well aware of Teh German's feeling that it's not his responsibility to wipe down the counters (since he didn't dirty them?), but I wonder where this falls....  #IhaveOCDstandards

-Sometimes I have no will power and buy clothes on Woot.  Even though I don't need clothes, I do it anyways.  This time I spent $80 on 4 dresses, which is what I prefer to spend.  I just hope I ordered the right sizes and that they aren't shitty quality since there were no reviews.  I usually like the stuff I order from Woot, so there's that, but I already had buyers remorse by the time I got the confirmation email.  I did at least buy 3 different designs of dress that I know I like/have wanted for a while.  #fingerscross  #shouldhaveresisted

-I bribe myself with "good book" time but only after reading the book I don't really like (it's a challenge book).  Some YA books just don't work for me.  Essentially, I shouldn't read books based on the diaries of preteen/early teenagers.  It just doesn't work for me.  That said, the sex scenes in my "good book" make me slightly uncomfortable.  Strange since Outlander is filled with sex.  When did I become such a prude?  #GetItTogether

-We watched Finding Dory last night when we couldn't find Modern Family on any of the streaming services we subscribe to (Amazon, Netflix).  Baby Dory is hands-down one of the cutest things ever.  You just want to squeeze her.  I didn't realize I needed Finding Dory until we were finished watching.  Also, the tank fish in the bags totally would have died.  But ya know, it's perfectly acceptable for a septopus to drive a truck.  #priorities

-I'm considering purchasing Modern Family because I really think that Teh German will enjoy it and I'd like to catch up.  But my conundrum is: do I pay $25 (for the season) for the ability to stream orrrrr $5 (for the season) for the DVDs which we have to get up and change when the disc is through.  A $20 convenience fee.  I can't decide if that's worth it or not, but holy hell charge me shipping and I'll close that tab out with a quickness.  #whoamI  #holyfirstworldproblems #dontjudgeme

-I paid the $15 to send my NCSU transcripts to CSU.  I am still tossing around applying to the Citadel.  It's just hard to make these choices.  I need an outside advisor telling me which will give me the better Computer Science degree.  #choicesarehard

-I did some research on scuba diving qualifications in the Charleston area.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to gather a group of neighbors to get qualled with Teh German and I can do a refresher course... Then we'll be honeymoon ready when the time comes!  #underthesea

-I am quick to unsubscribe from advertisement/distro list emails.  I hate when shit clutters up my inbox.  Because I put our email address on the labels for the wedding show, I've gotten subscribed to so many new email lists that I have to unsubscribe from.  It's a real delight.  #trimthefat

-I was too lazy to put gifs into this post, even though I really wanted a Sebastian gif for #underthesea.  #laziusmaximus



Linking up with Nadine.

Weekend Review {2/27}

FRIDAY

Friday started off extra-ordinarily shittily (yes, I made those words up).  I had decided to ride Bagheera into work since it was spring and as I was closing the garage door, I heard the thunk that no bike owner wants to hear.  Bagheera had fallen over.  Not only did I have to hoist this bike up by myself, then I had to see if anything had happened.

Of course something happened.  Because I'm unlucky.  It's a piece that Teh German said he should be able to replace, but it meant no riding, which was a huge disappointment.  It also meant going back inside to shower since I had gotten super sweaty from the adrenaline rush and weight lifting.  Le siiiiigh.  This also meant getting into work later than I had anticipated, which means long working hours on half-day Friday.  I know, I have the absolute worst life.  (I can hear you rolling your eyes.)

So I finally get to work and work was fine.  I was out of the office by 1:30.  I met Roux's Humom at the gym and I was home by 3:30.  I was running on empty, so I showered and took a nap.  It was as I laid down to take my nap I remembered that I had steaks on the schedule for dinner and I hadn't went by the butcher.  I had a debate about what I needed more: a nap so I could endure whatever Teh German's suit appointment held or a trip to the butcher to keep Teh German's expectations met (rather than change things, which often results in brain wrinkles for Teh German).  I needed a nap.  There were other dinner options (frozen pizza, leftovers, sandwiches) and my sleepy irritation would do no one any good later.

Teh German was kind enough to call me on his way home from Crossfit, which woke me from my barely napped state.  Of course, I was unable to fall back asleep in the 20 minutes it took him to get home.  This did nothing to help me feel better about not just having powered through and going to the butcher since I was still tired.

Meri is always down for a nap

When Teh German got home, I suggested we go out for dinner to Wild Wing Cafe since it was right across from the mall where Men's Warehouse was.  He agreed.  We made it to dinner without much issue.  As seems to be the new, unfortunate, norm, after dinner is when shit went down hill. 

There is this one intersection near the mall where we were going.  To get to the mall from across the street you are at an intersection.  Both lanes are turning lanes (one right, one left) and both lanes are straight lanes.  So essentially, you might get a green arrow for your direction, but if you are going straight, you are blocking traffic.

Well, Teh German was insistent on not blocking traffic to get where he was going.  THEN he proceeded to get pissed off at me for telling him to just wait out the red light, since it was about to change.  Queue shitty driving. 

I have this thing about extra aggressive driving (like tires squalling and cutting people off, etc) where I do not like it.  I'm sure if you're reading this and you've ever ridden in a vehicle I'm driving, you're laughing your ass off.  Please note I said extra aggressive.  I consider myself an aggressive driver.  I live in Charleston. I believe this is necessary.  Maybe my yelling is a bit much, but only on accident do I squall my tires and it's very rare I will slam on the gas with others in the vehicle.  Essentially, I drive differently by myself that I do with others in the car.  I don't think Teh German follows this philosophy. 

Because he was pissed off (at himself, but taking it out on me), he cut off oncoming traffic to cross 3 lanes to REenter the shopping center we'd just came from (instead of just staying on the main road and going into the mall's back entrance, which we took the LAST time we were at this intersection and he started yelling at me because I told him to stop for the green arrow since we wanted to go straight (ok yeah, did I mention this isn't the first time this has happened?)).  Then instead of going to main intersection like a normal person, he yanked to the right to turn into a parking lot, only to have to circle through the parking lot.  He did at least turn left at the intersection, but by this time, I'm freaked out and screaming at him that I will drive from now on if he's going to drive like this and I will call an Uber to get home. 

We somehow make it across the street.  My horror turned into tears.  I told Teh German that we needed to go into the JCPenny entrance.  He pulls into the Dillard's parking lot and I'm like, "What are you doing?  I told you we need to go to Penny's."  Him, "I don't know where Penny's is!"  Ya'll.. this is the same man who when I tell him where things are that he knows about, he gets annoyed at me.  I know he knew where Penny's was because we've been there several times.  Of course, he gets amnesia when I don't want to speak to him.  I direct him around and stop speaking to him entirely.  I even get out of the truck and walk alone, complete with arms crossed in front of me, into the mall. 

Then, Men's Warehouse isn't where Google showed it to be.  So we walk to Dillard's (haha funny), and I stop at a directory and Men's Warehouse isn't even listed.  F.M.L.  So I just call the store and ask where they are.  Close.  I was a 10 second walk away.  It would have been closer to park at Dillard's.  Teh German was somewhere behind me, I had seen him walk up and away and then didn't know where he was. I went into the store and asked if a guy with a Stingrays hat had walked in and they said no.  I went back out to sit in the middle area at a stage that was set up and started angry texting.

I texted Teh German to tell him where the store was and got no response.  Well, fuck you too.  After I had calmed my tits a little, I walked back into the store to see him standing at the desk.  It was 7:30.  His appointment was at 7.  I'm sure that it was my fault that we were late.  I walk in the store and take a seat.  The clerk gives Teh German a few options and tells him there isn't anything in the store he can try on.  Teh German is not pleased.  I think he was expecting an experience like me trying on dresses.  He wanted to see how he looked in different suit colors and have someone help him.  Yeah, not what happened.  They also only had 2 different suits for rent, white and black, neither of which I liked because the lapel.

Disappointed, we headed home after the clerk explained that prom season was coming so we might be better off not coming back in until the end of May if we came back.  So that was helpful.  Since we had to walk through Penny's, I suggested we look at the suits.  We were still not speaking to each other, except out of necessity.  We were both too pissed off to even really look or like anything at Penny's, but Teh German does know he has options.  Essentially, his suit dilemma just became my problem.  So much for not worrying about it.

Pissed off, we both headed home.  Teh German seemed to take some care not to drive like an asshole and I just waited to get home because he wasn't making my rage dissipate by acting like nothing had happened.

When we got home, I took care of dog prep and headed upstairs to lay in the bed and listen to Outlander and do puzzles until it was time to sleep.  When Teh German came to bed, I told him that he was mean and he should say he was sorry and he did, but it was out of obligation so I was still disgruntled.

We have this scene in our house!
This is the view from Schloss Neuschwanstein (Disney castle).

SATURDAY

We got a slow start on Saturday morning since we didn't have anywhere to be.  I asked Teh German what he wanted to accomplish since we were having his birthday cookout that evening and he said yard work.  I had scheduled an acupuncture appointment for us at noon and we needed to leave by 11:30, so I wanted to accomplish stuff before the appointment.  We got up and had a "German" breakfast of bread, meat, and cheese, it was messy, Teh German was continually disgruntled.  He didn't like that I kept asking him what was wrong when he insisted that nothing was wrong. 

Meri had 1/3 of the bed, Teh German had 1/2 of the bed and I was sandwiched in the remainder.

I hate this thing that I do when I FEEL something wrong.  I know that something is wrong, but I can't figure out what it is.  This is what happened most of the weekend.

Finally, we got outside.  I listened to Outlander and scooped poop while Teh German pulled weeds.  After I was done scooping, I helped with the weeds.  I also picked up the pine needles the concrete guys had left in a pile and the dead grass that never took when they relocated it to lay the patio slab. 

With the yard chores completed, we headed inside to shower and get ready.  We made it to our acupuncture appointment right on time.  It was an interesting experience.  The place we went to is a community nap/acupuncture place.  They only do your face/ears/hands/arms/lower legs/feet.  It is encouraged that you nap and when you're done they remove the needles and you can relax for as long as you'd like.  Cool concept.  We were there for 2 hours total.  This included filling out the paperwork and being told what was going to happen and waiting on 2 "more comfortable" chairs to vacate.  I had some issues with one of the needles in my arm and it continued for the whole time, which was unfortunate.  I was also cold, so I had to have the lady cover me with blankets, since I couldn't get up and do it myself since I was a porcupine.

Teh German and I agreed that it was weird but cool.  He was surprised that we were there for so long.  I hadn't slept well when I did nap (the needle in my arm/I'm a sensitive sleeper/was cold), so that.  After the needles were removed, we headed to Publix to stock up for the party.

Our first stop was Ye Old Fashioned.  Teh German wanted to split a sandwich and fries so we wouldn't be hangry by dinner time.  I resisted on the ice cream and it was difficult, but I managed.  After dropping $199 at Publix ($50 of that on beer alone), we headed to the butcher for hamburger meat and steaks (finally).  Once we got home, I turned on Roomy to "tidy up" and put away the groceries and started portioning out hamburger patties while talking to Teh Dad.  I'm not really sure what Teh German was doing.

Around 6, guests started showing up.  I put a sticky note on the front door to come in and not let the dogs out so no one would have to keep answering the door.  I also put sticky notes on the garbage cabinets so people wouldn't have to ask where they were.  Call me resourceful.

Teh German cooked hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill.  We had a nice group of people that gathered for Teh German, which was awesome.  We pulled out the Jenga and ladder golf and the Jenga game was very intense.  I manned the fire and smores.  Our last guests left around 12:15 and after we cleaned up (mostly because it was windy outside and I didn't want to hear the Jenja blocks potentially fall over at 0300) we were in bed by 1.

SUNDAY

We woke up on Sunday morning around 8 and once Teh German opened his eye, I sang happy birthday to him in German.  I almost started in English, but then corrected myself.  He said he was feeling hung over and I asked him if he would take the things that I brought him and he said yes without a battle, which was a change.  I brought him 2 advil, water, a nut ball, and some leftover meatballs, knowing he needed something in his stomach.  While I was gathering the stuffs, I fed the dogs.  After I ministered to Teh German, I headed downstairs for puzzles and Outlander.  While I had told Teh German I'd wake him up at 10:30 since we had a Skype date with Aunt P at 11, I failed because I had 20 minutes left of my book and wanted to finish.  I ended up going upstairs at 11 to wake him, book complete.

Aunt P chatted with us for a bit.  We hadn't talked to her since she was in Charleston, so it was nice to catch up.  We snacked on what we had in the fridge while we chatted.  We had planned to eat lunch at a neighbor's house since they had food they needed to get rid of from a party they had.  When I got the text that lunch was at 2:30, we both decided to have a hot dog to hold us over until time for food.  To pass the time, I decided to finally shave Meri.

I had told Teh German that we were headed over early so the dogs could play so we were about to start getting ready when Mama G said she was home and could Skype early.  So we didn't have to leave our lunch date early, we went ahead and chatted with her, then we got ready and headed a few doors down.

We played some yard games for a bit, then we all decided we were hungry and moved the party inside.  We left the dogs outside to keep running.  We ate and had cake and eventually headed back outside for more games.  I learned that I'm no good at Washers, which is essentially like horseshoes.  Once the sun started to go below the trees, I got chilly and it was time for doggy dinner, so we headed home.

Marci loves chasing Meri around.
Not pictured: Sven, Rumble, Phil, and Max

Once home, I decided it was time to give Phil and Meri their yearly (if not less frequent) bath.  Phil was a hot mess and knew before he'd even looked at it, he decided that the shower floor was made of lava.  Despite the rugs I had put along the floor for him, I still had difficulty getting him into the shower, which made it an even more traumatic experience.  He shook the whole time so I just tried to get everything done as quickly as possible.  After Phil, it was Meri's turn.  She was also a mess, but she weighs 50 less pounds, so I could handle her way better. 

Notice how Phil refused to look at me?
Yeah.

With the dogs bathed, I put on my pjs and headed downstairs with a book.  I made it to page 45 before I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore.  I fell asleep on the couch at 7.  At 8 I woke up with a crick in my neck that was super uncomfortable.  Teh German agreed that it could be bedtime and we headed upstairs.

After teeth and face were cleaned, I headed to bed to wait on Teh German and did my German lesson.  When Teh German came to bed he found his birthday card from me (which I explained is because the mail delivery person must run late to our bedroom), he asked me what time it was and I told him 8:30.  He seemed wary we were in bed so early.  Of course, it took me at least 30 minutes to get to sleep while Teh German had fallen asleep within 2 minutes of lights out.  Seriously, does he not have thoughts? 

____________________________________

Despite still feeling like something is off (it's me), it was a good birthday weekend for Teh German.  He got to enjoy friends coming over to celebrate him and he received a LOT of beer.  It was a very laid back weekend, which was kinda perfect.  Nonetheless, this weekend drained me.  I woke up this morning at 06 and still didn't feel rested.  I would have stayed in bed if it wasn't for adulting and responsibility and guilt that Teh German would be jealous of my "teleworking" life.

Mr. Chicken Wang.