Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Having no shame...

Having a teenage roommate has enhanced my life in so many ways.  She gets to do lots of the chores that I dread doing and she's ridiculously easy to embarrass.

I wouldn't say I go out of my way to embarrass Teh MD Teenage Roomie, but... I might.

We were in Kohl's this weekend and I was looking for sports bras (because apparently when you use the ones you have, then tend to loose their control abilities more quickly that when you don't use them) and I was picking through the clearance section first.  Among all the things I wasn't looking for was a 48DDD bra.  I thought it was hilarious.  My intentions started out innocent.  I picked it off the rack and was going to show either Roomie how ridiculous it was.  I came upon Teh Teenage Roomie first.... and she immediately got embarrassed which only fueled my fire.

I chased her from the lingerie section back to the bedding section of Kohl's holding this monstrous bra up, yelling, "But, look!  It's so big!  Come back!  I just want to show you!  You'd even have growing room if you got this one!  Where's your Mom?  Come back!  I just wanna let you see it!  It's on clearance!  Only $5.00!!!!"

We found Teh MD Adult Roomie back in bedding and after she realized that I was yelling because I'm ridiculous and because I was harassing Teh Teenage Roomie, she just observed me harass her daughter.  Teh MD Teenage Roomie was hiding from me, so I decided to go one step further than just waving this massive boulder holder around.. I put it on over my clothes and tried to seek her out. 

Reduces up to 1.75 inches!!!
Because at this point, any reduction is significant.

This thing was so ginormous that my head didn't even fill the cup.
Then again, I do have a small head.

$5 for all this!
I should have purchased it on principle.

"Look!  I'm modeling it for you!  It's sooo roomy in here!"  She would start to come back up an aisle and I would find her and she'd run away again.  By this point, Teh MD Adult Roomie and I are crying from laughing so hard.  As I'm taking the bra off, there is a lady who was witnessing my antics with a little girl and she was also laughing at me.  She explained to us that her Mom would actually drive behind the bus and make faces at all the kids on the bus, but what I was doing was definitely more embarrassing than that.

I had finally given up the bra harassment and we had continued shopping.  I went back to the lingerie section to find sports bras again, since I had gotten distracted the first time, and found the sports bras, realized they weren't on sale and manged to make my way back to the clearance rack.  This time, I found a pair of granny panties.  HUUUUGGEEEEEE granny panties.

It was game on again.

I pulled the panties on over my clothes and went to seek out Teh MD Teenage Roomie, knowing how proud she was going to be of my fashion accessories.  As I was walking to find her, I remembered that there were actually TWO of the monster bras on the rack (I had left the original one hanging in bedding so someone else could get a laugh out of it), so I found the other one and had Teh MD Adult Roomie help me into it.  I was on a mission again.  I went hunting for Teh MD Teenage Roomie and found her in the purse section.  She's taller than me, so I think she caught a glimpse of the straps over my shirt, and she ran away yelling, "THIS ISN'T FUNNY MEGAN!" which only served to make her Mom and I cackle even harder while tears were streaming down our cheeks.  I yelled back, "Ok!  Ok!  I'll take it off!  Look, I'm holding up the 'white flag of truce.'"  At this point, plenty of people are watching what is happening and see this huge bra being held up over the racks of purses and accessories.  Teh MD Teenage Roomie rounds the corner to peek to make sure I'm serious and she decided to come back.  She turned the corner and sees me wearing the granny panties, which she hadn't been able to see before and immediately takes off in the opposite direction.  I chase her wearing these granny panties over my clothes and waving a magnormous bra in the air over my head into the hats/sunglasses section and finally stop chasing her because I have a feeling at any moment I'm about to get us kicked out of the store and well, I shop at Kohl's a lot and that would be pretty bad for my wardrobe.  I remove the underwear and return back to the lingerie section where Teh MD Adult Roomie is hunched over laughing and crying at the same time.  We return the bra back to the rack and the underwear back in their clearance bin.

Since I couldn't find a bra to spend my Kohl's cash on, I went back to bedding to look for a new comforter since my washing machine ate mine recently.  Teh MD Teenage Roomie was looking with me and the original bra was still hanging on a shelf and when she saw it she actually shivered and let out a groan.  Pretty sure I've given her big bra PTSD... and a day she will not likely forget anytime soon.


  1. Why do I have no trouble visualizing this and getting a good chuckle out of it!

  2. Omg I love the sheer evilness yet hilariousness of this post!


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