-Poor life choice: bringing a peach as a road snack. Holy moly that was a messy life situation.
-To the old man with the tag "U R FAT" #youreadouchecanoe
-If I stop at your gas station and you have prices listed but you have all the pumps roped off because you don't have gas, I strongly consider lighting something on fire and throwing it into a tank. #wtf #dontwastemyprecioustime
-If you make me pass on you on the right, then want to race me down the interstate so I don't get in front of you when I'm obviously going faster than you, you have no right to flip me off when I do finally own your ass like it's NASCAR and get in front of you. #learntodrivegrandpa #TehDadisgonnabepleasedaspunchbythatNASCARreference
-You deserve to be ran off a bridge if you have a Trump for President sticker on your car. #justsaynotostupidity
-When my HR lady called to ask me why I hadn't put in my time and then didn't want to give me the chance to speak/explain what was happening, I just talked over her because she wasn't listening to my very valid explanation. Then when she told me she didn't understand, I broke it down for her like she was 5. When she told me it was the "executives" that were concerned, I didn't even bother to ask her why she hadn't contacted my manager to ask what was going on. #bitchplease #idgaf #Imonvacation
-Because I'm probably going to run out of room on my medal rack, I'm considering taking down the virtual run medals. Maybe. We'll see. Except for my Blerg run. Not that one. Or the BFF run. #runnerproblems
-I actually started an Audible trial so I would be able to listen to What Alice Forgot while I was running my half since I assumed that I'd be finished with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo about 30 minutes into the run. Yeah, I was wrong and that sucked major balls. I was so over that book. I was so excited about a new audiobook that I started listening to it on the way home after I finally finished listening to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I listened until I got tired of being as confused as Alice was and I needed to participate in an activity (aka karaoke time). #Ineedtojustquitshittybooks
-I am proud of myself for not calling anyone to "keep me awake" on the drive to or from MD.
-I am more proud of the fact that for 13.1 miles, I didn't stop running except for the 10 seconds it took me to choke on a cup of water.
-When people who are quitting/relocating from Company get a chip on their shoulder because they have no fucks since they are quitting/moving, I get frustrated at how difficult they are to work with. We get it, you're on to bigger and better things. Just stop being disagreeable. #amItheonlyonesatisfiedwithmyjob
-I'm loving What Alice Forgot and I want to listen to it all the time.
-For my Audible bonus download, I chose Rob Lowe's Stories I Only Tell My Friends. He narrates his own book, so it was a win-win for me.
-I asked a couple at the wedding we went to last weekend to take a photo of Teh German and I. The lady cut off my feet. This irritates me because the most difficult choice of my entire day was which shoes I should wear and there were zero photos of my shoes (or my awesome foot tattoo). Siiiigh. #hardlifechoices #picsoritdidnthappen
-Teh German and I had high hopes that our relationship reveal on FB would reach 100 likes. We're at 96. Of that 96, only 33 of those are my friends. This means that only 30ish people are seeing my status updates and if there are actually more than that, they hate me. #myfriendshateme #socialmediavanity
-No one tell you that with girl parts comes the inability to hold your pee. While dancing on Saturday night at the wedding, I was jumping up and down cause #whitegirl and I felt myself bounce a few drops of pee out. I feel pretty confident about my "floor" muscles and I know, do Kegel's they will help. Yeah, been there, done that. Is there Proin for humans at age (almost) 30? Ughhhh. I hear that after being pregnant, this issue gets worse. #freebirthcontrol
-I said something to Teh German about being 30 and he corrected me with, "You're 29." I had to explain to him that I often have no idea how old I am, so I have to start getting into the swing of the new age about 6 months before my birthday so I don't have to math as much when people ask me how old I am, because nothing makes you look shadier than having to calculate your own age. I also admitted that for most of 26 I said I was 25 and for almost all of 27 I told people I was 28. I explained that since we're past the 29.5 point, I'm now eligible for saying I'm 30. #cantarguewiththislogic #countingishard
-Things IDGAF about: National (insert stupid thing here) Day. Coffee, Doughnut, Talk Like a Pirate, blah blah blah. I used to think they were cool when I could get free shit and then everyone else started knowing about all these National Days and they became competition, which led to overcrowding, which led to me having zero fucks to give. #freeshitisntworthitifIhavetowaittoolong
Linking up with:
Life with Lolo
Alanna & Company