Five on Friday #153

EINS - Random Shit

-I've given up on finding good lint balls since the discovery of cotton ball lint balls.  This is actually good.  The problem is that I've been losing a lot of lint balls because I've been wearing clothing without pockets.  When I don't have pockets, I store my lint ball in my bra.  The problem is when I take off my bra, sayyy at the doc's office for xrays, and forget the lint ball is there and then discover that my lint ball is missing later.  #MeganProblems

-Teh German's office did a World Cup buy in.  This is great.  Building team morale and shit.  Teh German spent hours on his winner and score selections.  Seriously, he was sitting at the island comparing his phone and his iPad and taking notes on the different teams.  It was intense.  We've since learned that Teh German is no longer allowed to make betting selections.  #WinSomeLoseSome

-My blogging motivation has been low, low, low, low, looooooooowwwwwww.  This means that Honeymoon post 2 isn't done because the photos haven't been edited and at this point, I'm about to say fuck it and I'll just post unedited photos.  That's where I'm at in life.

side story: I was searching for a Flo-Ride Low gif and Rob Lowe came up instead and I was certain I had made a good life choice.. So now you get a Rob Lowe gif(s) instead.  I love any excuse to share my Old Man Crush.

-All that made me miss The West Wing.. and now I want to watch that..  It doesn't help that Arrested Development is annoying me (we're into season 2 and it's the same story line over and over and over and ovvvveeerrrrrrrr).  Also, I really want to watch The Americans, but the last time I tried that, there was an unexpected rape scene that wasn't good for me and we never picked it back up.

-There's only 2 weeks until summer school starts and SHE WASN'T READY.

-The action cameras we used on our dive trip are awesome... except for the part where the date was wrong and now my photo order is fucked up and it's driving me insane.  There's no way that I have figured out to correct the metadata, so I just have to deal with the 2015 time stamp on a quarter of the photos and then the incorrect 2018 date on the remaining 75%.  Also, my cell phone time was off and my camera time was wonky too.  For my DSLR and cell phone it was International Date Line problems and for my cell phone specifically, I didn't have service the entire time we were in Australia, so it didn't automatically update the time/date..  I know in real life, none of these things matter, but when you're an OCD freak like me.. IT MATTERS.  #AllDatesMatter

-I was looking at the Netflix releases for July and discovered that they made a show for my Philbo and I didn't even know it.  I wonder how much bread they feed him?

-(Update) Honeymoon Post #2 is scheduled.  It was a painful process.  I finally said fuck you to editing photos and you get what you get around these parts.  Some of the underwater photos are edited, some are not.  Nothing about underwater photography is simple because of the lack of red under the water.  If that doesn't make any sense, don't worry about it.

-If you actually visit the website to read posts, you'll see that I have changed up the blog template some.  It's still a work in progress, but it's complicated.  You'd think that these computer science classes would help me but they don't.  I'm still just as inept as this as always.  In fact, now it's worse because this is a different language than I learned (Java) and the theme is new and there's not a lot of things on the Googly to help me do what I want that are helpful.  Woe is me.

-Teh PT Wife came over last night to help me puzzle for almost an hour.  Maybe it just felt like it, but I think we got a lot accomplished.  After she left, I put all the loose pieces back in the box to go through one by one and put them in their proper character pile.  This isn't the El Diablo puzzle from last year, but it's close.  It helps that it's Disney and I love it.

-We've tossed around the idea of checking out the 9 Rounds workout place.  It's 30 minute HIIT workouts and I'm highly interested, except the part where I have to pay $75 a month.  But I really want to drop this "happiness fluff" (aka post-wedding fat) and I have to do something extra to get it off.  I'm not talking about being super skinny, I just want my clothes to fit again without being uncomfortable. 

-I posted the old patio furniture on FB Marketplace on Wednesday evening.  There didn't seem to be much real interest in it, but then last night a man messaged me after 8pm and asked me my bottom line price and said he'd come pick it up tonight.  DONE.  He arrived at 9:30 and it was past my bedtime and I had a headache from hell, but I was pumped to get the furniture out of the garage and so was Teh German, so we didn't consider the late pickup an inconveneince.

ZWEI - Money Shit

• Car insurance.. for Baloo and Yurtle.  Yuck.
• Treat yo self Bojangles
• Cricut vinyl
• Cricut font cartridge
• Gas
• Chiro visit to see Dr. Tom, a friend of Teh PT Husband.
• New patio furniture
• Shopvac
• Hanging baskets
• Fan for the back porch
• Edger for Teh German
• Friday morning snack run/splurge
• Exterminators
• ALL THE HOOKS (cubicle, car, purse)
• Paper for invitations for Teh Dental Hygienst's baby shower
• Silicone straws

DREI - From My Phone Shit

What did Aunt Jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?
How waffle.

Bought some silicone/reusable straws.
I'm going to be that lady that uses her own straws at restaurants now.

I don't have a photo of all the new patio furniture, but do I have a photo of this guy being sexy enjoying his new spot on the back porch.

I made spätzle from SCRATCH this week.
I believe my German family would be proud.
Teh German said that it was good and he used it to make käsespätzle (aka German mac and cheese).
I think it may have had too much nutmeg.  I need an actual German to tell me the from scratch recipe.
I refuse to buy the noodles from the store since a small pack is $5 and I can make triple the amount for $1 worth of ingredients at home.

Käsespätzle, Spargel (aspargus) und Steak

Progress.

This monster... acting as my arm rest just so I would pet her.

Hooks for hanging shit have been my jam lately.
I also purchased cubicle hooks to hang my bag on instead of it flopping everywhere all over my desk.

I went in for the cottage cheese things...
And this is what I left with.
You're welcome for the doughnuts, Coworkers.

It's national take your pet to work day and not only did I forget, which is probably for the best since Pax would probably eat this bait dog, but this dog whines and whines when his owner isn't within sight and it has noisy tags.
In good news, this dog has completely cleaned up all the crumbs under my desk and he stopped barking/growling at me after I told him to.  Hard limit there, buddy, you won't be growling at me when I'm in my space.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. New patio furniture/Teh German happiness over new patio furniture.
2. Starting watching The Man in the High Castle, which is dark AF.
3. Surprise gifts for friends, even if they are simple things, which means I can call us all hookers (because the gift was hooks to hang shit on).
4. Catching up with old friends.
5. Puzzling
6. Power walks in the morning with Teh PT Wife.
7. FIFA at work
8. Summer break and no class and less stress.
9. GI Bill taking care of my school business.
10. The insurance policy I got for Roomy the Roomba.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Shit Teh German Said #22

Teh German's bagel was flopping around while he was trying to cut it.
Teh German (tG): Don't fight me.


Teh Megan (tM): Know what would be really cool?
tG: An ice pack.


Discussing mulching the yard and bugs moving in.
tM: We're better off because we have the patio [in front of the back door], so that's a deterrent.
tG: Uhh, bugs crawl under the vinyl to get into the house.  They don't come in the door.


Teh German farted.
tG: There was too much air in the pizza!


tM: How's your head?
No response.
tM: Babe?
tG: I had to listen to my body!


Discussing a German tag on a car we passed.
tG: I wonder if they are military that was stationed in Germany and brought their tag back.
tM: It's probably that or actual Germans who came over.  You people are everywhere!  Invading!
tG: Yeah, since day one, because AMERICA.


One of the dogs was passing some noxious gas while driving to MD.
tM: I notice that you've been letting me vent out the stinky gas on my side.
tG: Well, because you smell it before me.
tM: I think you have ear wax clogging your nose.
tG: They're called boogers.


tM: Damn, apparently I need hearing aids and glasses... at least my sniffer is still good.
tG: Yeah that's usually the case that other senses get stronger.




Shit Teh German Said Edition 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22

Weekend Review {6/18}

FRIDAY

I left work at 2:30 to pick up Teh PT Kid from his final day of camp.  We had some stops to make on our way home.  After a messy popcorn session on Tuesday, Teh PT Kid was gifted with the forced labor opportunity to vacuum out my car.  So we drove through the car wash and then we vacuumed the inside of Yurtle and I washed the windows (poorly).  After, we stopped by McDonalds for treats, then we headed home.

There wasn't much going on at home.  Teh German came home and we were lazy until it was time to leave to see The Incredibles 2.  At 6:15, we picked up Teh Dental Hygienist and made a stop at Publix to pick up snacks to sneak in (judge me, don't curr). Teh Dental Hygienist was told she couldn't bring her snacks in, while I was able to sneak my stuff in because the lady didn't see it since my wallet was "hiding" the stuff.  Teh AF Maintainer saved the day with his cargo pockets.

Watching the movie, I learned that I will never again buy opening night tickets to an animated film.  Nope, nope, nope.  Some stellar asshole parents had failed to secure a babysitter, despite having bought their tickets super early (they were almost in the middle of the theater and obviously those are prime seats).  Their toddler carried on and shrieked throughout the movie.  Even preggers Teh Dental Hygienist let out more than one, "SSSSHHHHHH!!!!"

After the movie, we headed home to tend to the beasts, then we went over to Teh PT House to hang out for a little bit before bedtime.

SATURDAY

Saturday, Teh German had to go into work, which meant that he took care of the dogs and I slept in.  I finally woke up around 9 and went on a walk with Teh PT Wife.  Post-walk, we took the dogs on a short walk.  After I got back home, I did some gardening and finally rooted the baby vines that had sprouted in the flower beds.  I also did some weed pulling, bleh.  After gardening, I scooped poop, which was a PITA since it hadn't stopped raining since we'd left for our honeymoon, so shit was slimy and difficult to scoop.  With all my chores done, I was going to meet Teh Neighbor Besties at the pool.  I was about to head to the pool when I realized I hadn't eaten lunch so I should do that.  Thennnn, I was about to leave for the pool and I heard the garage door open, which meant Teh German was home, so I was delayed even more in my pool attendance.

Tiny frog!

I got a shitty blister from scooping poop!  UGH.

I finally made it to the pool around 1.  We left around 4.  My new impulse purchase of a fancy pool float was deemed totally worth it.  It has a removable drink caddy and the backrest can lay flat so you can lay on your stomach comfortably.  It's awesome.  When I got home, I was starving.  I showered and then Teh German and I headed to Myles and Jun Yakitori for dinner.  We went to this place a long time ago, but I was in the mood for some ramen and I figured they'd be my best bet for "authentic" ramen.  I chose well.

While we were at dinner, we met another couple who had just moved to the area.  We chatted with them for a while, ended up receiving a free dessert (the owner claimed it was a father's day thing), Teh German gave the husband his business card (for work and personal things), and gave them Charleston to-do suggestions.

German beer and in-house-made sangria.

Bacon wrapped quail eggs

Raaaaammmmeeeennnnnnnn..
NOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

When we got home, we hung out with the dogs and watched Arrested Development.  When we finally made it to bed, I discovered that the sunscreen I had applied was completely ineffective and I was SUPER sunburnt with the exception of where my big, ridiculous, sun hat had been shading (so my neck, face, shoulders, upper back, and most of my boobs) were not sunburned.

SUNDAY

Sunday, we had a slow start.  We wanted to go out, but Germany was playing at 11, so we couldn't leave.  /rolleyes.  Then Teh German suggested that we have a light breakfast and go out for lunch after the game.  I agreed.  Then came the next battle, where to go...  I had a free appetizer from Sesame and was going to suggest it when Teh German said, "I could really go for Sesame."  Well, done.

While Teh German watched the game, I got my puzzle and audiobook on.  I had to set up the beer pong table to accomidate this puzzle problem I'm having.  There wasn't enough space inside the edges to work, and all the pieces wouldn't fit on the table.. soooo here we are.

I did actually make some headway and got a few large chunks in, so that pleased me greatly.

After Germany lost to Mexico, we got ready and headed to Sesame.  We also agreed to run some adult errands, a trip to Lowe's to return some dead hanging baskets and a stop by Lidl.

At Lowe's, we ended up going big before we went home.  I was able to return one of the three baskets, we picked up a shop vac that was 50% off (which 2 employees commented it was a super awesome choice), picked up a hanging fan for the back porch, we looked at back-splash ideas for the kitchen, checked the open box items, picked up the edger attachment for the weed-eater, went online and bought new patio furniture because free delivery, and I grabbed 3 new hanging baskets.  #NotSorry

So pretty, much flowers.

Picked up these peonies at Lidl.
#NoRegrets

When we got home, we unloaded Baloo and I took care of the hanging baskets while Teh German took care of the dogs.  I started working on puzzle, but then we opted to go over to Teh PT House and hang out.  We spent several hours hanging out on the back porch and then it was finally bedtime.

______________________________________________

It was a pretty low-key, relaxing weekend.  We may have made some new friends!  When Teh German checked his email on Sunday, he realized he had received an email from the couple we met at dinner the night before.  They had emailed us while they were still sitting in the parking lot, which made me laugh.  I told Teh German they hadn't observed the 3 day, no contact rule.. and I was glad.  Because rules are stupid.

This week holds:
-A (much needed) chiro appt on Monday
-A follow-up chiro appt on Wednesday
-Patio furniture delivery on Wednesday?  (Don't fuck this up Lowe's...)
-Teh German going to see Jurassic Park 3 or whatever on Friday night (without me)
-Germany vs Sweden on Saturday

Five on Friday #152

EINS - Random Shit

-Fucking Blogger.  I thought that I was getting my comments emails.  Turns out I am not.  Sorry if you think I am ignoring you.  I am not, Blogger has failed us all. I'm trying to migrate to Disqus, which is fine except I cannot manage to import my old comments, which means I can't see comments from the past 2 weeks to even respond to them manually.  #ThisIsMyLife

-I will be streaming the FIFA games at work and #Iaintsorry.  No one ever uses the televisions in the spaces, so I figured, why not.  My coworkers said soccer was super boring but these are the same people who love football and, well.. I do not like football.
Coworker: boooo.. soccer is boring AF. They run around for 90 minutes and flounce around acting dramatic when they get tripped, in hopes of eventually scoring.
Me: I'd rather watch men run around a field for 90 minutes than spend an hour of my life watching gangs of men repeatedly tackle each other.

See also, America's solution to problems vs the rest of the world.
America: TACKLE THEM, VIOLENCE.
Rest of the world: Trip em and run!

-I have an ID card called a CAC that I have to use for work.  Well, my CAC was fucked up and it took me 2 days and hours of my life to get it "fixed" and it still doesn't work.  In the process of fixing it, I told on myself for not using my Company laptop for work and got a talking to about it from IT.  So now, I have to deal with a broke CAC AND start using my Company laptop.. so it's like going back to the stone age.  #MeganProblems

-When you give someone a phone number as fast as humanly possible and then act like it's my fault I didn't get catch it all and then act like I'm bothering you when I ask you to repeat that, you're an asshole.

-If you're on a military base and describe a building as, "the one with the flagpole outside", I want to punch you.

-DoD websites that do not serve the function they were created for are pointless and a waste of taxpayer's money.  #JustSayin

-I've been taking Teh PT Kid to/from his Citadel summer camp this week.  I've learned a lot.  Mostly that he has 2 settings.
1. AWAKE OMG BEY BLADES TRAINS HUNGER.
2. Silence (because he's sleeping).

-Doing nice things for people brings me joy.  Especially when they tell you how much the action brightened their day.

-I went running this week.  I should really do that more than once a month.

-My Chase miles card gives me double points on travel and dining.  I thought it was just travel.  This makes my card even better than I thought.  I've already paid for my flights to Tulsa and Chicago for runs with my points I've already earned (and the bonus points at the start) and I started using this card in January.  #LikeABoss
PS.  Each month the card gets completely paid off.  This is the only way I would ever recommend anyone use a credit card.

-There's a 2000 piece Disney puzzling still laid out on my dining room table and I've cleared off the buffet so I can also lay out the rest of the pieces.  I'm also considering setting up the beer pong table so I can put the edge on it and then work on inside chunks on the dining room table.  I'd really love some assistance on it, but I think it's scary to everyone that sees it and I think my biggest problem with doing it is that I don't have anywhere to actually WORK on it with all the pieces laid out.

TL;DR: This puzzle is taking over my dining room and I need help completing it.

ZWEI - Money Shit

-Bull dicks for the dogs.
-New BCD weight pocket to replace the one I lost in Feb.
-Replacement retractable clip for my dive computer that broke while on Honeymoon.
-Hook for my cube to hang my backpack
-New hooks for my bras in the closet so they all match.
-water filters for the coffee maker
-Groceries when we got back, times a mabillionty.
-Soooo many picture frames.  #NoRegrets
-My new awesome laundry sign which makes me smile every time I see it.
-McDonald's sweet tea
-White chocolate pretzels and the ingredients to make my own white chocolate pretzels.
-Incredibles II tickets
-Belk's - clothes and house things.
-Brunch x2
-Massage
-City of Oaks 1/2 Marathon
-Raleigh AirBnB (right by the start line for the City of Oaks, #LikeABoss)
-Teh Running Bestie's flowers
-Food Lion gift certificate for a family in need
-Billz
-$$ for Teh German to participate in the FIFA work pool.
-New passport wallet to hold up to 3 passports (it came with a face mask!)
-Gas

DREI - From My Phone Shit

These rednecks had made their own sunroof.
We assume the glass was busted and rather than replace it, they embraced it....
Mmmkay.  When SC decides to start doing vehicle inspections, I won't be sad.

Paximoose rarely sits like this, so I always love it.
Here he is playing with his new ice cream that Teh PT Wife picked out for him.

I set up our photos to be the AppleTV screensaver.
Sadly, it only caches ~100 photos, but it's better than none.  I just have to finish editing and then select the best to put in the folder.

Every day I'm brusslin'.
This towel, from Teh Running Bestie, brings me constant joy.

They grow up so quickly!  😭

I took Teh PT Kid with me while I voted on Tuesday.
I may not always be the best example for him, but sometimes, I get it right!

Self created joke:
"Your wait time is ___ minutes."
-any government help desk
Because it's NEVER less or equal to the amount of minutes they estimate.

Anyone else use the cool blast on their hair dryer to dry off the body sweat?
Just me?  Oh ok.  That's fine.

Burgers for dinner = runny egg and avocado.

When you need a straw and DGAF if the lid matches the bottle.
Teh Running Bestie donated this lid to my cause and I've obviously been saving it for this day.

Streaming FIFA on the TV from my desk.

VIER - From the Internet Shit

I assume that most people generally pass up this section because you're busy and you have shit to do and you already read through my millionty page long blog post, but PLEASE PLEASE PLLLLEEEAAASSEEE click this link and read it and tell me your thoughts.

This article is about Emotional Labor, a term I learned while listening to my most recent audiobook, and it has changed my life.  It put a name to something that I didn't have a name for and giving something a name helps identify it so you can work on the issue.

I'm not getting anything out of you clicking that other than satisfaction about spreading the word.  That article sums up soooo many of my frustrations in life and explains why Teh Running Bestie and I worked so well as roommates.

FÜNF - Things that made me happy this week

1. Being back to our routine.
2. Running
3. Going around someone to get shit done when they say they "can't" but mean "won't"
4. Helping people
5. Meri and Pax being extra snuggly, even if Pax is being more talkative than usual.
6. Breakstone cottage cheese and fruit
7. Friday brownies
8. Work sponsored pizza for lunch
9. Tap to pay working at some places in America
10. The power of Sudafed to make Teh German's nose stop running so he can feel better and not be whiny about feeling bad.

Happy Friday, Gentle Readers.

Honeymoon Part 1 of 5

Thurs, May 17

We started pre-gaming our honeymoon on Thursday, May 17.  I worked in the AM and then when Teh German came home at lunch time, we finished packing, put Meri and Pax outside, loaded Yurtle, made sure we didn't forget anything, and started the drive to Teh Running Bestie's house.

The drive was moderately eventful.  I got to shove an extra anxiety pill down Meri's throat.  I also forgot to bring dog food for dinner, sooooo Meri and Pax got to have Chickfila for dinner.  #MomOfTheYear

When we were about 10 minute out, Teh German noticed that Yurtle had rolled over 100,000 miles.  Aaaaaannnnnddd, not only was he driving during this momentous event, he didn't even notice until over 100 miles later.  I cried on the inside for missing this milestone with my Yurtle Girl Machine.

We made it and then it was pretty much bedtime.

___________________________________________________

Friday, May 18

Originally, we were supposed to help set up for the GEGR picnic on Friday, buuutttttt Thursday the picnic had been officially rescheduled so we didn't really have any commitments anymore.  I had woken up with Teh Running Bestie and eventually went back to bed with a headache after she left for work.  I stayed in bed until 1230 fighting said headache and finally got up to run errands.  Teh German and I hit up Mission BBQ for lunch, then ran my etc errands at Sally's, the post office, and Walmart.  In the evening, we watched Coco (which was cute, but didn't knock any of my faves out of the running) and since no one was feeling motivated, I suggested we order pizza for dinner.

I placed the Pizza Hut order online and went and fetched it.  For the rest of the evening, we chilled and was lazy until bedtime.

___________________________________________________

Saturday, May 19

Originally, we would have been at the GEGR picnic most of the day, but since it was cancelled, we had a lazy day.  After finally eating lunch, Teh Running Bestie and I hit up Home Goods to look around and then stopped by Dairy Queen for an ice cream cake.  When we got home, I made doggy cakes since Pax's birthday was the 18th and Olive's birthday was the 23rd. 

In the evening it was CAH with friends, which I lost, and eventually bedtime.

___________________________________________________

Sunday, May 20

Sunday, we were lazy, but had lunch at Red Robin (and we got our parking spot) then when to Greyhound Central (GHC) to let the dogs run and to visit with some GEGR friends since we wouldn't get to see them at the picnic.  While we were socializing, Pax and Meri disappeared.  They were discovered at the bottom of a 15-20 foot bank at the edge of the water.  Someone noticed something black with a white tip moving back and forth (Pax's tail wagging) and we figured they had chased something down the bank and couldn't get back up.  Since the bank is covered in poison ivy and other nasties, the owner of the property changed into long sleeves and pants and went down to fetch our beasts.  Teh German also went down the bank with her to help.  Teh German carried Meri back up the hill and Pax was leash-led back up, mostly against his will because of the rocks.

Immediately, we brought the dogs to the greyhound processing area and while I gave Pax and Meri baths, Teh German scrubbed himself in poison ivy wash to deter any reactions since we were leaving on our honeymoon in 24 hours.  Thanks, asshole dogs.  Teh German and I took a ride around the GHC farm before we left.  On the way home, we stopped at CVS and stocked up on poison ivy itch gel and more body wash, which I used when we got home.  Someone had called urgent care to see if they would give Teh German the poison ivy shot, but since there was no visible reaction, they could not administer it, so we just hoped for the best and planned for the worst.

After we got home, we were wiped from all the activity, so it was dinner, laziness, and laundry until bedtime.

___________________________________________________

Monday, May 21

We woke up early on Monday to start our #HoneymoonAdventures.  We had to drive up to Baltimore and drop off Yurtle at Chief Smartass's house and then he would deliver us to DCA to depart.  This all well fine.  We arrived at the airport at 2:30 (our flight departed at 5:40), 3 hours early (as per international travel suggestions) and then we hit a wall.  When we checked in, we were informed that we needed Australian visas to go to Australia, something I did NOT know (side note: When I went to Australia in 2012, I went with the Navy so all of this was taken care of for me and I didn't have to worry with it, thus my ignorance).

I was almost certain that if we didn't make our flight, the following day, Teh German was going to serve me with divorce papers.  It was baaaadddddd.  We were both frustrated.  I managed to get my visa quickly and then we had to figure out how to expedite a visa for Teh German since he has a German passport and didn't qualify for eValidation.  I finally ended up paying £20 and was able to get a visa for Teh German.  This was after he'd paid the Australian govt $117 AUD for a visa that would take 5-7 days to get approved.  I suggested he cancel the request and he did (which didn't matter because they still charged him $104 USD for a visa that is valid from 01 June 2018 - 31 May 2019.  I have said, "I told you so" many times in my head because I am petty, but I will not say it to Teh German's face, so I'm breaking my rule about only putting things on the blog that I have discussed with Teh German, on the principle of being an adult and marital bliss and whatever.

Nonetheless, with emails in hand, we go back up to the counter to check-in.  The agent was able to quickly verify Teh German's visa.. but then had issues with mine.  /facepalm.  He had to go to the back and manually verify it since the emails I had didn't show my passport name.  I was good to go, but we were starting to cut it SUPER close and neither of us were comfortable with that.  It had taken 2 hours to obtain the visas, so it was ~5 when we started checking in.  By 5:15 we were in line at security, impatiently waiting on every person who has never flown ever to take their electronics and liquids out of their bags and fight with the TSA agents about if they had to drink the entire bottle of water to get through security.

We made it through security and I RAN to our gate.  I wasn't risking it.  Teh German had a rolling carry on, so running wasn't really for him, but if at least one of us made it to the gate, we could distract them from closing the door.  Teh German rolled up a minute later (he's got long legs and his fast walk is essentially my running) and 3 minutes later, they closed the door behind us while we waited on our co-passengers to board.  Once we finally boarded, our marriage was no longer in danger, andddd then we were stuck on the tarmac for an hour because rerouted flights due to shitty weather in Chicago meant we couldn't take off.  #JustMyLuck

Nonetheless, we made it 20 minutes later than our scheduled time to LAX, which still gave us time to grab dinner and then head to the gate with 5 minutes to spare (because we'd just been sitting around rather than standing around the gate waiting with everyone else to board).

___________________________________________________

Tuesday, May 22

This day was lost due to the International Date Line.  #InternationalTravelProblems

Some of the things we endured: children kicking the back of our chairs, shitty airplane sleeps, meh airplane food, me having hot and cold flashes, the inability to get comfortable, my water bottle peeing all over me because of pressurization, me listening to audiobook and doing puzzles on my kindle, me listening to audiobook and playing rip off Bejeweled on my Kindle, only having the person in the aisle seat get up 2x during the 16 hour flight to let us pee (we both went around the same time so the person wouldn't be inconvenienced over and over). Obviously, riveting things went down.

___________________________________________________

Wednesday, May 23

We arrived in Sydney at 0700, had to go through security and get the sniff down from a biohazard dog since we were traveling with my dive gear, which was exposed to foreign soil/water.  The sniffing dog was a year old and in training and he was super adorable.  He stayed for a little longer at our bag, but didn't signal and the handler asked if we had dogs.  We, of course, said yes, and she said that was why he was lingering.  He was super cute though, and then we were on our way.  We had a short layover in Sydney before flying to Cairns.

We arrived in Cairns at 1 and grabbed an Uber to our hotel.  While checking in, we were informed there was a swim up bar, which meant that we were going drinkin!  We quickly dropped off our luggage, I shaved my pits, and then we headed to the pool.  Sadly, the water was waaaayyyy too cold (it is winter in Australia) for me to utilize the swim up bar, but we did use the walk up bar.

There were large floats in the water, but none came close enough for me to grab it without going deeper than mid-thigh so it wasn't happening.  Finally, one did come up far enough and I jumped on it and floated off, leaving Teh German on the pool's edge.  While floating, I met Derrol who was on holiday from Melbourne.  Then we met 2 flight attendants who dragged my float along with theirs as we chatted.  Eventually, Teh German even joined me on my float and we all hung out for a bit until it got too cold and we were hungry.

We finally returned to the room, put on normal clothes, and headed out to a delicious Greek place for dinner.  After dinner, we were exxxxxxxhausted, as one tends to be after a transpacific flight.  We crashed hard around 8.

Honeymoon Adventures

Part 1: SC to MD, MD to Cairns
Part 2: Scuba Diving the Great Barrier Reef
Part 3: Sydney Touristing
Part 4: California (San Francisco and Sacramento)
Part 5: MD to SC