Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
I am most afraid of starting something for the first time.
Almost debilitating in that I will procrastinate and procrastinate until I can no longer put off whatever it is that I have to do for the first time.
Examples? Why sure.
PETS ON WHEELS
I decided that I wanted Phil to be a "Pets on Wheels"* dog. This means that he gets to go to rest homes/assisted living places with me to kinda boost morale. (Maybe you noticed I'm big on morale boosting?). I'm supposed to take this quiz to prove that I read the packet along with contact a facility to visit. The requirement is 1 hour per month. This is seriously minimal effort for me considering all the GEGR activities I attended in April. Why haven't I already been on a visit?
-I had to wait on Phil's special Pets on Wheels tag (which has their logo on one side and Phil's name, my name and phone number on the other). Honestly, Phil doesn't need a tag with my info, he already has one. Additionally, he's got TWO microchip tags, a GEGR tag, and his rabies tag. That brings his total "bling" count up to SIX. I'm going have to get pet insurance to pay for chiropractor visits for Phil due to all the freakin' tags he wears. I couldn't go on a visit without this stupid "special" tag. It's like a license or something? Idk. I'm only bitter about the tag because Phil already has too many freakin' tags.
-Pets on Wheels prefers volunteers go to locations that are currently "unused" (meaning they don't currently have any volunteers going there). The closest unused location is 30 minutes away. I have to call these locations to set up a visit. Calling strangers isn't one of my favorite things to do. Additionally, work has been to busy for me to even check my work email.. looking up information and using the phone? Prob not.
-Phil needs his nails clipped. This means a trip to Petco.
-Phil needs some grippy shoes things so he doesn't spaz out on the tile floors, which I'm sure is an imminent curse. This means a trip to Petco.
-A trip to Petco means going to town. I frequently try to avoid going to town as I spend money there.
*I refuse to use the Pets on Wheels acronym because it's POW. I do NOT think of pets when I see POW.
I bought a weed eater because I have a fenced in poop area for Phil. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a yard, but maybe a patch of grass/weeds. Well, the weeds are starting to get out of control. I purchased this contraption the last day that it rained last week (Weds?) so that way I could use it when the grass dried.
-I wanted to let the grass dry for 3 days.
-Well day 3 was the day I drove down to VA Beach for Color Me Rad.
-Day 4 I was tired from the drive back to MD and running.
-Monday was day 5 and it rained on Monday.
-I wasn't sure what to wear for weed eating because word on the street is I'm going to get messy. (I'd already committed to wearing swim goggles to protect my eyes since I don't own safety goggles and I have some gloves that some movers left)
-I bought extra string for it, but apparently I need an additional head? What?
-It's still sitting in the box in the living room because I'm almost 99% sure this thing is going to require some assembly and that is overwhelming in addition to having to actually use the blasted thing.
At this point, I do wish it would stop raining so I could just get it over with.
THE FIRST LOAD OF LAUNDRY EACH WEEK
Starting the laundry means committing to doing ALL the laundry.
-Have to gather ALL the laundry, including all the towels around the house (kitchen, bathrooms, etc)
-Do I wash the bedding? (ehhhh, no because making the bed is so hard)
-Does Phil's stuff need to be washed? (yes, probably) Are you going to wash it? (Probably not)
-Is there anything in particular that needs to be washed first?
-Will there be any events which will hinder accomplishing laundry in one day? If so, will laundry be completed within the weekend?
-Ughhh, why is there a load of laundry in the dryer that I never folded?
-This game sucks, blogging is so much easier and I don't have to even get up and do anything. YAY for lots of clothes and enough work socks and undershirts to last almost 2 weeks!
The worst part of this fear is that I always have such a great feeling of satisfaction once its complete. I know I will feel good after, like when I go for a run, I always feel good after. I just have to get the motivation to start. I'm not so good at starting.
One of my English teachers in high school realized this about me. This was in relation to writing a paper, but I realized down the road that it really applied to many aspects of my life. I was sitting at my desk, thinking and thinking and thinking about what to write. I couldn't figure out how to start the introduction paragraph because I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say.
She said to me, "Just start it. Just start writing what you want to say and go back after you're done and write the beginning since you'll have exactly what you need to write a good introduction!"
She is obviously a genius. She probably knew that. She was actually board certified, so, obviously someone else knew it too.
So maybe my new motto should be:
JUST START IT!