Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Confessions {7/15}

-Dear Dudes,
I know it's summertime in Charleston and it's hot, but could you please put your shirts back on?  First-World society dictates that I can't take my shirt off in public, so I believe this principle should be applied universally.  This applies to fit and "unfit" dudes, as both types are distracting, although in different ways.  I know you SAY that I could take my shirt off if I wanted, but then you'd be ogling my boobs and no.  Also, to the dude with the tramp stamp, you were judged.  #ijudgeyourtats


I ended up going with the unicorn, but only because Olaf was a kids size 3-5 years and the unicorn was 5-8 years and Teh WJL said that the Minions craze would pass, but unicorns will be awesome forever (#truth).  Yes, my head is small enough to fit into a child's helmet.  Sadly, I can't fit into kid's shoes.. that would save me so many dollas!  #childsized

-I dress for winter when I go to work because one of the guys likes to adjust the AC based on how HE is feeling.  Well, he's always hot because he sits under the AC unit rather than under the area where it blows (which is where I sit).  Several people noted my sweater on Monday and I had to explain that I usually have my fleece on my desk chair, but it was currently at home in the wash, so I had to prepare for the arctic when I got dressed.  #bettertobeprepared #sweaterweatherforpermanent

-Mr. Scrooge poked me in the boob when we were watching X-Files after dinner on Sunday night.  It was everything I had in me not to ninja chop him in the throat.  I'm not sure at what point my boobs became play things for him (probably sometime after October when our sex life went into it's death spiral) but it made (and still continues to make) me feel unsexy and ragey.  It makes me feel like an object, which infuriates me.  Eventually, I started telling him that he wasn't allowed to touch my boobs unless I got some action, which rarely happened.  I'm not actually sure what in the hell he was thinking poking me in the boob on Sunday, but shit like that will definitely strain the friendship.  The worst part is that I still feel unsexy from months of this treatment.  #Iamnotanobjecttoamuseyou

-I really hate that G+ fucks up blogger's profiles and makes them no-reply commenters.  Seriously, all the rage.  Why can't Google integrate better... with their own products.  It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult.  #Googlewilleventuallytakeovereverything

-Mr. Scrooge and I went downtown for $5 burgers at that really classy place we went to for his bday dinner on Monday night (Cypress).  The burgers were delightful, but the entertainment.. not so much.  Right as our food was delivered, a group of 5-6 people migrated to stand behind us since there wasn't really room for them to stand closer to the bar.  Mr. Scrooge and I were sitting all the way against the wall at the end of the bar, so we were kinda in the corner.  While eating our food we had to endure what I would call sorority sister/cheerleader talk from the women for at least 15 minutes... and it wasn't the topic of conversation that was irritating, it was the tone of voice being used.  It felt like rusty spoons being stabbed in my ears.

Because we were sitting forward in our chairs eating our food, one of the girls thought it was ok to put her elbow on the back of Mr. Scrooge's chair and lean on it.  When he sat back and bumped into her elbow, Mr. Scrooge apologized to her.  I looked at her husband (per the bar snuggles and shiny wedding bands) and looked at the chair and looked back at him.  Really, I was just checking out the situation, but it was apparently enough of a glare for him to put his arm around her back and steer her slightly away from us.

At which point I finally admitted to Mr. Scrooge that at one point I thought it would be interesting to check out the happy hour scene in Charleston, but after further assessment, I don't think it would be a wise life choice for me to make.  Mr. Scrooge just laughed and laughed.

I didn't realize until we were leaving that they were actually trying to hover to run us out faster to take our seats.  It took forever to get the check and I would have happily escaped the sisters/cheerleaders sooner if the bill would have been delivered with the box for my leftovers.  #notapeopleperson

-3 things this week that have brought me great joy:
+Sitting on my couch listening to Spotify through the Roku on the "good" speakers.
+Shaving my legs and changing my sheets on the same day so I could enjoy that feeling when I went to bed.  Siiiiiiiiiigh.
+Smuckers Uncrustable Sammiches, particularly the nutella chocolate flavored hazelnut spread sammich.

-I saved the best for last:
and by that I mean that Teh MD Adult Roomie and I were able to sign up for the runDisney Glass Slipper Challenge AND the 5k before it sold out.  My approximate reactions:

Fuck, now I have to really start training.  #runningsucks #Idothistomyself #omgsoexpensive #allthemedals

Linking up with:
Life with Lolo
Hodges Podge


  1. I would totally rock a unicorn helmet if I didn't have an enormous head. Seriously, the size of my head is ridiculous.

    Annnd how's the X-Files going??? They dais that if you watch one episode a day starting now, you'll be all caught up by the time the new episodes come out. In into the 4th season now and I'm TIRED of waiting for them to make out. Enough is enough, just do it.

  2. Your blog hates me. I refuse to comment in protest!

  3. Yay!!! How awesome about the marathon- I'm sure you'll have a blast =)

  4. THERE IS A NUTELLA UNCRUSTABLES?!?! I love the grape don't get me wrong but how on God's green Earth did I not know there was a chocolate hazelnut one?!

    I was really hoping that you got the TMNT helmet haha. I hate when guys poke my boobs. I had an ex do that to me too. After we broke up he was like oh I can still grab/poke them. No mother fucker you cannot.

  5. Lmao! I always judge the tatts too! And I live on Guam, where its practically always summer but I wear jeans and sweaters to work sometimes because of the AC! The worst part is when I go outside and start dripping with sweat within seconds!

  6. I need some of these uncrustable things! That sounds delicious! Congrats on the Princess win!! Sounds awesome! My husband also does the poking thing and it drives me insane. I started jabbing him in the rib cage or poking his nipple to get him to stop. It works.


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